Wow…
I just came back from helping my aunt and uncle move out all their stuff to my grandpa’s cause they gotta be out by tomorrow. I just saw the room I last saw my grandmother in and the room that she died in empty. Wow. I swear I could still feel her presence in that room. It’s so weird seeing it empty. Only 2 years ago I was there in that room saying my last goodbyes and now it’s all empty. No trace of her anywhere. It reminded me of that day. I was crying and all that, waiting for my uncle (who was working abroad) and my aunt (who lived in a different state at the time) and we were saying all our happy memories with her. My estranged older cousin was telling her how he loved her eggs and rice she used to make him when he was a kid. Honestly, looking back on it, it’s strange. He’s always been my older cousin who I never really got the chance to know. I mean he only just recently started opening up to us. Well, more my brother and cousin, so I guess you could say I don’t really have a memory with him. Except for that day. I was the only one between my mom, dad, and brother who had slept there during the night to stay and be with my grandma so I was there almost the whole day. My older cousin and I went to the store to buy pasta and we made pasta together. We didn’t talk much to each other. Just kind of cooked in silence. Then after we ate we said goodbye to grandma. And I think that’s enough of a moment I’ll get with him. Imagine how he felt, his mom trying to keep her composure while holding my grandmas hand and his little cousin, who he probs still saw as a little baby, breaking down with a tissue in her hand. He saw me looking like a damn mess, eyes red, tears down my face, and still had the strength to talk to her. Although I don’t know a lot about him, I’ll always admire him for that. 2024 was a crazy year, so much happened. My mom had a panic attack and went to the hospital for a week, which was the quietest our house ever was, i started public school for the very first time, my grandma died, then my great-aunt died, my brother started public school for the first time, and finally, my baby cousin was born. My baby cousin really was a miracle after all that shit. My uncle even believed that my baby cousin might be a reincarnation of my grandmother since he was born only 2 days after her birthday. Anyways, we were talking about the empty room? Yeah, it was surreal. I tried to talk to my grandma in that room but I didn’t have time for any more than a quick prayer (which I butchered). I’ll try to talk to her a little later, update her on things.
