super star
pairing- kwon jiyong x best friend f!reader
contents- mental struggle, angst, comforting, mention of ED
synopsis: jiyong confides in you about feeling lonely and struggling during the tour
word count- 1051
Your fingers move quickly over the keys on your laptop as you create the schedule for tomorrow. Jiyong’s schedule was always packed, especially on tour. The MOTTE tour was going exceptionally well, all thanks to you, one of his head producers, and also his best friend.
But aside from the imminent success of the tour and new album, Jiyong was struggling. You could see it. He tried to hide it from the others, burying himself in work and overdoing it every single day.
You always tried to talk to him, to get him to open up. But he was stubborn. Always had been.
Your phone buzzes beside you.
Ji - club?
You sigh. If he wasn’t working, he was drinking himself to death. He always tried to get you to join, and sometimes you did. But you knew the real reason he was doing this cycle of working and drinking.
He was struggling. Something was wrong.
He’d barely been eating. His weight had dropped significantly. He’d fainted backstage, slept away every second he wasn’t performing. It was killing you, not being able to do anything. Not because you hadn’t tried—that’s seemingly all you did—but because he wouldn’t let you. He wouldn’t let anyone.
You pick up your phone, typing a message to Jiyong with a sigh.
You- not tonight ji
You hesitate before typing again.
You- are you feeling ok today?
The dots appear almost immediately.
Ji- i’m fine
You purse your lips. Lie.
You stand up and shove your phone into your back pocket, determined to catch him before he wasted another night away drunk and half unconscious in a hotel room alone.
You leave your hotel room quickly, walking down the long hallway and stopping and Jiyong’s suite. You knock, and Jiyong opens the door almost immediately.
“Y/N! I thought you didn’t want to come.” He smiles, a little too wide to be real. His flashy outfit shimmers a little in the hallway light.
“I don’t. And you shouldn’t.” Your tone is more serious than you intended, but you stand your ground. You invite yourself in, shutting the door behind you.
“And why not?” Jiyong backs up, brow furrowed. You sigh.
“What are you doing, Ji?” You ask, deadpan. Jiyong looks even more confused.
“What are you talking about?” He asks. You stand your ground.
“This. Drinking every night. Not eating. If there’s something wrong, Ji, you have to tell me. I’m getting worried.” Your expression remains blank, but your eyes carry compassion. He notices, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly.
“Y/N…” Jiyong looks down, hand rubbing the back of his neck. You take a step forward and place a hand on his shoulder.
“Please. You know I’m always here for you.” You offer a gentle smile. His eyes meet yours, glassy and vulnerable. He holds your gaze, one small tear streaming down his cheek.
You immediately pull him into a hug, one hand moving to cradle his head and the other resting on his upper back. His quiet cries soak your t-shirt, but you don’t care.
“It’s okay. Whatever it is, I’ll help.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, mouth next to his ear. His shaky frame fits perfectly against yours, his nails digging into your back.
“I’m sorry,” he manages, burying his face deeper into your neck, “no one’s ever really asked me like that before.”
Your heart aches for the boy in your arms. Your best friend. Your fingers run through his hair, opposite hand rubbing gently on his back.
“Let’s sit.”
You guide him to the bed, sitting him down at the end of it and claiming the spot next to him. You take his hands in yours, meeting his eyes with that same compassionate smile.
“Tell me.” Is all you have to say. He hesitates, but then nods.
“I just… feel so lonely.” He sniffles, blinking hard to fight back tears.
“Lonely?” You ask, a little confused. He nods again, taking a deep, shaky breath.
“Y- yeah. I’m… always performing. Even off stage. I don’t feel like I can ever be myself. Be Jiyong. I’m always G-Dragon. Leaving my hotel room feels like going on stage. Talking to anyone feels like being in an interview. And I feel so alone.” His breathing levels a little, another tear falling slowly down his cheek.
You place a hand on his face and wipe away the tear. He looks to you, face crimson and stained.
“You should’ve told me,” you pull him in so he leans against your shoulder, “you’re never alone. Not when I’m here. It’s okay to just be yourself with me.”
“I don’t know if I remember how.”
Your heartache grows and you feel your own eyes growing glassy. You hated seeing him like this. He rarely let you, always pushing down his feelings and never letting you have the chance to help. So when he did show it, you knew it was serious.
“You’re doing it right now,” you say, rubbing his back as he leans more and more onto you, “you’re opening up to me. That’s a really good start.”
He doesn’t respond, just nods against your shoulder slightly. You stay like that for a moment, simply soaking in the long-awaited moment. He eventually sits up, and pulls you into a tight hug.
“Thank you. For listening.” He buries his face into the crook of your neck. You nod against his.
“Always, Ji,” you rub his back gently as you speak, “you can always come to me. Anytime.”
“I don’t want to go out.” He sits up and looks to you. You smile.
“Good. Let’s stay here and watch a movie. Have you eaten?” You ask, moving to get under the covers of his bed. He nods, but you raise your brow.
“Don’t lie.”
He doesn’t respond, which you know means no.
“I’ll order room service. Pick a movie while we wait.” You pat the spot next to you. He slides backward, leaning back against the soft pillows beside you.
“I love you, Y/N.” He smiles now, understanding that he truly has someone on his side. You reciprocate.
“I love you too, Ji. Now pick a movie.” You laugh, gesturing to the TV dramatically. He grabs the remote from the nightstand, leaning his head on your shoulder.
