#mostiel

Dean looked bitterly at Cas while he spun the girl in his arms around, he was tired of having all the girls on the party drooling for him, he didn’t care about them, he only cared about… well, someone he wasn’t supposed to care about. Lately he’s felt a craving desire to be near him, to talk to him, to make him laugh, in fact, he sometimes got jealous when he talked to Sam more than to him. This is stupid, he thought as he tried not to step on his dance partner’s foot

"Are you ok?" The girl asked in a childish voice, Dean assured her he was ok and forced out a smile, although he wasn’t in the mood for this anymore. After little, he excused himself and went outside to try to calm himself so he didn’t end up ripping some poor girl’s extremities, he felt like none of them had the right to touch Cas, only he could touch him. He got mad at himself for thinking about it, how come he’s fallen for a man? If this would’ve been told to him a few months ago, he would’ve just laughed his ass of and believe it’s a joke; but this was more than just a joke, he was falling harder and faster than any time before, and even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself, it scared him shitless. He took a deep breath, another one, each one for every time he’d wanted to take Cas in his arms, for every time he’d wanted to kiss him, to make him love him. Dean sighed, and slowly shook his head, he was unbelievable, he wasn’t this type of person, or at least he though he wasn’t but to be honest with himself, he also though he wasn’t of the type to fall in love with a man.

"Dean?" Sam’s voice snapped Dean out of his daydream, who though about how he’d spent the last 10 minutes and instantly felt like an idiot. Why can’t I just ask him out? There’s nothing in the way, he wondered to himself

"Yeah?" Dean tried to sound as neutral as possible, but he evidently failed in the attempt because Sam raised an eyebrow at him, like he always did when he knew something was wrong

"Are you alright?" Sam asked staring into Dean’s eyes, Dean knew he already knew the answer to the question so he kept silent "Do you want to tell me?" Dean shook his head, he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about it, it would be too awkward, he felt

"Why not? Is it a bad thing?" Sam inquired, Dean shook his head slowly after thinking the whole thing through. It isn’t a bad thing, right?

"Then why do you not want to talk about it? I’ll try to help as much as I can, I promise" Dean sighed, Sam wouldn’t go away just like that, he might as well just tell his brother what was going on, he couldn’t keep it to himself longer. He patted the floor next to him as to tell Sam to sit, he obliged.

"Look Sam, there has been something bothering lately," Sam was going to say something, but Dean continued, interrupting him "there’s this person I’ve felt really attracted to lately, well, cross that, I think I’m in love with this person, but it’s been so little since I first realized I had feelings for them, I literally don’t know what to do, and the worst is, that if I tell them I’m not sure how they’ll react" Dean sighed loudly "And I know I’m in… love because I get so jealous of anybody near them, I want to make them laugh, I want to be the one to make them happy, but I don’t know Sammy, what if they never feel the same way about me?" It scares me, he wanted to add but he didn’t want to seem more vulnerable than he was already. Sam patted Dean’s back and gave him a reassuring smile

"I’m sure he does, don’t worry, all you have to do is tell him that you return his feelings" Dean’s blood froze, Sam knew about it? How? It was the first time he’d talked about it, also how did he know about what Cas felt?

"H-How do you… know?" Dean chuckled nervously, he wasn’t the man for awkward situations and this sure was one

Sam laughed “How do I know? Dean, it’s obvious! The way you two stare at each other, the way you guys treat each other, it’s impossible not to notice” Dean felt uneasy, so Sam was just going to treat this as the most normal thing in the world? “And man, don’t worry, it’s perfectly fine with me if that’s what you’re wondering” Sam stood up “Now, just go get your man, ok?” He said and walked away, leaving Dean alone.

Sam was right, that’s what Dean was supposed to do, he had to go get his man, his man. He got up, and instantly felt anxious, his former courage and determination seemed to just dissolve, he wasn’t sure of himself, this was the first time he felt this way, all the other times he’d been the one in control of the situation, but now…

He entered the house, he’s never liked christmas parties, they were too loud and way too joyful, he preferred it calm, in a state where he could enjoy himself. He located Cas talking to someone near the kitchen, he could hear he was laughing loudly, which filled him with an inmense rage. When he got near enough, he could clearly see who Cas was talking with. It was a girl, she couldn’t be older than 25, drop dead pretty, but Dean didn’t care about that at the moment, he wanted to make that girl go away, she had no right to be near Cas, only he had.

"Excuse me?" Dean tried to sound as polite as possible "May I be excused to talk with the gentleman, lady?" He looked at her in a seducing way, he always got what he wanted when he did. ‘The charming fucker look’ Sam called it

"Sure, of course" She smiled and as Dean got in position to talk with Cas he felt a hand on his butt, he tuned and got a wink. Stupid brat.

"Hello Dean" Cas’ voice was joyful, he sure was enjoying himself, unlike Dean "What do you want to talk about with me?"

Dean shifted uncomforted “If we could go to a more private place? That’s be great”

Cas followed Dean to the backyard, it was cold so nobody wanted to actually be outside, it was the perfect space to be alone. When Dean decided they were in a location safe enough, he stopped walking and turned to meet Cas.

"Dean, is it something bad?" Dean didn’t answer, he was too busy staring at Cas’ eyes "What is wro-" He didn’t get to end his sentence because Dean was faster in connecting his lips on Cas’. The angel’s shock was evident, his eyes were all open, uncertain, and he, unable to move, until he could realized what was going on and relaxed to Dean’s kiss.

In a matter of minutes they were passionately making out against a tree, which was broken by Cas after, to catch his breath. They stared at each other afterwards, Dean was lost in Cas’ eyes, they were like pools of calm clear water, he was hypnotized by them. The silence perpetuated but none of them were bothered by it, there wasn’t a lot to say, part from what Dean had waited so long to finally confess, what had been his secret all this time, he could finally say it

"Cas?" Dean was filled with confidence now, he had nothing to be afraid of "I love you, you lovely little shit"

There

He’d said it

"I love you too Dean" A tear dropped from one of Cas’ glassy eyes, Dean’s heart was warmed, it didn’t matter how cold it was outside, inside Dean it was warmer than any summer day. Cas wrapped his arm around Dean and placed his forehead in Dean’s shoulder "I love you too much, I though you… you’d never return my feelings, you were always going around with all those women, and all the feelings that caused me were foreign, you don’t feel things like that in heaven, also there hasn’t been anyone in my life like you Dean, you’re special and I love you for that"

Have yourself a merry little christmas was playing, one of the only Christmas songs Dean actually liked, it was so soothing. Unconsciously Dean started dancing slowly to the song, wrapping Cas in his arms completely, he liked it, no, in fact he adored it, the proximity they had, the song, everything was perfect.

"Dean?" Asked Cas in an uneasy voice

"Mhh?" Dean was still moving to the music

"It’s cold. Can we go inside?" Dean wondered about it, it wasn’t the cleverest idea at the moment, there was a lot of people inside and he wasn’t just ready to make this public.

"I don’t know Cas, I’m not ready for everyone to know…" Cas former happy expression dropped

"Oh, of course" Although he smiled, Dean knew he was disappointed in him, which made him feel terrible.

"I’m so sorry Cas, but it’s so sudden we still need to sort it out" Cas sighed and nodded, he was like a puppy, Dean thought "You still owe me a real dance though" Cas smiled at this

"How? There’s all that people inside…"

"We can wait until they leave, then we can dance all we want to. So, you can go and dance with anyone you want, just save the last dance for me" Cas nodded and as he was turning to walk inside, Dean took his face and kissed him, tenderly, love fully.

Time passed as Dean’s dance partners did, some slow, some fast, none of them were Cas, but he had to wait for the best part of the day. Girls asked him to dance with them, he obliged, mostly out of politeness, meanwhile he checked on Cas now and then, he couldn’t help but think about how cute Cas’ christmas sweater looked on him.This wasn’t going fast enough.

When dinner came, Dean made sure he could get a seat next to Cas. As they both devoured the food, they were also holding hands, hidden my the table’s mantel.

A few dances and stupid conversations with stupid people it was time, people started to leave, saying etiquette things such as “Thanks for the lovely night” and “The dinner was delicious, I adored the time”. Dean tried to pull a polite smile for everyone and had it up until he was sure everyone had left.

He closed the door after saying bye to the last guest they had and felt a pair of arms locking his chest, he smiled, finally. He walked to where the stereo was and put it on shuffle, “All I want for christmas is you” started playing and Dean felt like it was destiny talking, it was the perfect song for the occasion.

They were laughing and dancing around the christmas tree, they felt like a pair of dorks.

"I love you Dean, you don’t know how much I’ve wanted to say this, all the times I had to shut up because you were sleeping around with a woman you just met, it hurt, but it doesn’t matter anymore" Cas smile illuminated the room alongside the christmas tree’s lights.

"I’m sorry I hurt you, but if it helps, it’s the first time I fall in love this fast, you feel like my first love. I feel like I’m still in school, which is stupid because I’m already a grown man, and you’re my stupid crush. I just… love you you little shit" He leaned to Cas and put his lips onto him, in a sweet way.