Scene: Eating lunch together at work (we work at the same company)
Me: UGH I can not STAND those two girls! (talking about 2 randos from another company in the same building)
Husband: who are you talking about?
Me: Curly head and short blonde. They’re my mortal enemies.
Husband: Do you even know them?
Me: No... But I know that they use the PUBLIC bathroom as their own personal office. They cry in there, they talk about boys in there, they shit talk in there. They even SIT.ON.THE.FLOOR. ugh. They make everyone that goes in there uncomfortable because they WONT LEAVE. But I just go in and sit and stay in a stall listening to them while I shit and so now every time I see them they give me the dirtiest looks. So now we’re mortal enemies. I know I know, you’re going to tell me to forgive them and be kind but I just can’t babe. I CANT.
Husband: Let’s fuck em up.