Dear Angmar, Can you please run me through with a spear? My grades are going down and my parents are going to kill me anyways. Thank you in advance, Anon
Greetings Anon,
I’m sorry to hear about your grades and the fact that your parents are making it even more stressful. Unfortunately I think you would find that it would be the opposite of the intended effect, and due to the dark sorcerous nature of Morgûl weapons, the result would be a deathless eternity of bad grades! So to avoid this, I think it would be the best course of action to try and warn your parents that your grades are slipping ahead of time and realize that even if they try to run you through, there’s about an 80% chance that they’ll be too poor of aim to do much damage.
As a notorious bad grade haver myself, I can sympathize, but regardless, as long as you pass, grades mean approximately nothing once you’re out of academia and into a lucrative career in being a fuckin immortal necromancer and professional ultra-villain. Tell your folks that the Witch-King says it’s fine and to chill out - and who’d be foolhardy enough to fail to follow THAT advice?
Best of luck!
Angmar
PS. I checked, I only have a sword and a mace, as it is. Sorry! You could try Gil-Galad, but the High King of the Noldor is unlikely to be willing to spear you for slipping marks at school.
