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@moralfoundâ asked: Â #7 / maggie Â
... â  07 .  a  kiss  to  say  what  you  canât  say  aloud .
Bathed in the near complete darkness that enveloped every corner of the apartment, speckled with the first stripes of daylight beginning to peek through the five am cover of dusk, Alex lay dead still, like sheâd been trained to in the event that she found herself stepping on a weighted explosive or caught in the sights of a motion sensor. Â
There, in the dark, ensnared in the painful realisation that she and Maggie had come to a stalemate, as far as the future theyâd each envisioned for their forever together went, she sucked in a breath that she hoped, for the sake of her fiancĂ©e, sound asleep beside her, would quell the staggering impulse she had to quietly sob until she couldnât take the strain, to hold her breath while the first golden glimmer of morning invariably cast Maggie in the kind of aureate glow that almost made her seem unattainable; To dig her nails into her palms until the blood vessels beneath her skin burst into bruises and the ache that seized her retreated, if only long enough to let her drift in the general vicinity of sleep.
Halting a shudder with her gritted teeth, Alex heaved a laboured breath into the back of the hand sheâd clamped across her nose and mouth. Â Breathed ---- in, out, in, then out again ---- until the bed beside her dipped with the shift of Maggieâs bearing against her, and she began to stir, oblivious to the sharp, stilted rattle thatâd stalled the jolt of Alexâs ribcage while sheâd cried late into the night.
Sleep wouldnât solve the issue of kids. Sleep wouldnât diminish the feeling of ice cold trepidation that sank into her aching bones, nor would it stop her world from ending, when the time inevitably came to talk.
Touching Maggie, however, almost seemed to stave off the unavoidable. Holding her, no matter how much it hurt to envision an increasingly less hypothetical future without her, was almost enough to assure her that the ground beneath her wouldnât completely shake apart and swallow her whole in a matter of days. That maybe theyâd get through this in one piece.  That maybe love would be enough. Â
It was.  It had to be, or else sheâd never survive.
Canting her jaw in the direction of the murmur thatâd snapped her out of her chilling rumination ---- a slumbersome sigh against her shoulder, a gentle scrape of nails across the lean plane of her stomach where her cotton tee had ridden up, a subdued â babe, you okay? â that she couldnât find the words or the strength to address or refute ----, Alex slowly reached to comb her fingers through the sleep-tousled hair thatâd tumbled loose over Maggieâs shoulder, and, with more tenderness than than her own tortured mind could possibly have afforded her, captured the swell of her lower lip between her own. Â
