#moostaronce

It’s frustrating to watch the person you like kiss someone else. It’s even worse when that other person is basically your sister. What could the odds possibly be of you and Jennie getting these roles and actually having to put your lips on each other? You being an idol under JYP was probably the reason. 

A newly debuted solo artist on top of being an up and coming actress, and you have already garnered a lot of attention from co-starring alongside Lee Minho recently. You’d also stirred up some attention from starring in some short films and web dramas that feature lesbian storylines. Rosie only met you due to being in the same promotional period during “Lovesick Girls” but honestly you haven’t crossed paths much outside of that.

Truthfully, Rosé has no idea why she never asked for your number during that time. You are a very kind and friendly person so it really wasn’t justifiable. But when Jennie came home three days ago and said that she’d been cast in a show overseas and you were a co-star, the jealousy began. How is it that Jennie was receiving the luck that should be hers. Suddenly, you were all Jennie ever talked about morning, noon and night. 

At first it only annoyed Rosie a little but it soon grew astronomically to rage. Her responses to her friend became clipped and aggressive. Jennie didn’t seem to notice until one night she was sitting with the girls and gushing about how sweet you are when suddenly Rosie stood up abruptly and stomped off to her room. 

“What’s with her?” Jennie looks on flabbergasted from her spot on the couch.

“I don’t know maybe she’s just in a bad mood.” Jisoo suggest looking worriedly at Rosé’s room door.

“I’ll go check on her.” Lisa gets up and knocks lightly on her best friend’s door before entering cautiously.

When Lisa enters the room she’s finds Rosie sitting on her bed, arms crossed and face pouty. No words are exchanged at first. Lisa climbs onto the bed and sits legs crossed in front of her dear friend, looking for the right question to ask first.

“Penny for your thoughts?” The younger girl’s voice is soft and inviting.

“I don’t even know. I think… maybe I like Y/n more than I thought,” Rosé pauses in her speech like she’s trying to formulate the rest of her response. “I hate that she’s so close to Jen and it almost feels like Jen likes her too.”

More silence. Lisa contemplates what to say to her friend to alleviate the stress she is feeling over this dilemma of hers.

“Well maybe you should tell her, Y/n I mean. Let’s say you guys talk and she doesn’t like you back, okay then. Now you know and you can move on,” Lisa watches as Rosé visibly deflates at the notion of your rejection.

“But but, hear me out. Say you tell her and she does like you. Then you can go from there and bam, maybe you come out of it with a new girlfriend. Honestly Rosie, the worst thing you can do is say nothing."

Rosé listens intently to her and considers the advice. Maybe she should tell you but when was she even going to see you next? She couldn’t just text you even if she did have your number because you deserve better than that. Little did she know you would definitely be seeing each other sooner than she thought.

In the coming days Jennie was away a lot for shooting. Knowing that you and Jennie were probably laughing and joking around while she sat around the dorm thinking about how to meet up with you. 

It felt like the shoots all ended quickly. Before she knew it the show was active and here she was at turned into a viewing get together for the cast and friends. All of her members were there, Jennie’s costars were there but most importantly you just arrived.

You look great and the smile you give her does insanity on her already crazy feelings for you. However, before she can approach you, Jennie intercepts you, dragging you off to see other people with her hand guiding your back. Rosé visibly deflates. She realizes that it may be harder to get your attention tonight than she originally anticipated.

Time felt slow but before she knew it, it was time to watch the show. Everyone is buzzing with anticipation but especially Rosie because she managed to score a seat directly next to you. Of course Jennie was attached at your hip from the other side but she wanted to take her small victories where she could.

Everything was going well. The two of you interacted more than you ever had. Rosie made a habit of joking with you, giving you light touches just for the contact and the way you smile at her makes her feel so alive. But then it happens.  If she wasn’t mistaken Rosé could have sworn she heard her heart crack in half at the sight of your lips on Jennie’s flash up on the screen.

The dreaded and honestly purposely forgotten kiss scene between her friend and her crush was earth shattering. Tears well up in her eyes without her permission and she feels her nose beginning to run a little as she suppressed a pained noise from her throat. She tries to sit through the entire scene, not wanting to draw attention to herself but when she turns and sees you staring at her with concern written all over your face, she has to excuse herself.

Rosé rises far too quickly for her own liking and bolts from the room before anyone knows what happened. You look after her from your spot on the couch and catch Lisa’s eye. Lisa looks from you to Rosé’s room and she gestures in that direction with a gentle smile.

Taking Lisa’s cue, you stand and make your way over to the door and knock. Rosé’s voice is weak in response but she says to come in so you do.

“Hey Rosie, everything good in here?” Your gentle nature makes more unshed tears fall from her eyes.

“Hey, Y/n. I just um…” She pauses and looks down like she wants to say something she can’t quite get out. “I want to talk to you about something. I- I want to tell you something but I don’t know how you’re going to take it.”

“Come on Rosie. You’ll never know unless you just tell me. May I sit?” She scoots over and gestures to the edge of her bed. “So I think I- no I know I really like you Y/n.” 

You don’t speak for what feels like forever and she doesn’t dare speak herself. When she glances up at you she can’t quite read your expression. Your not looking at her, your eyes are fixed on an invisible spot on her wall. 

“You don’t have to say anything, I know you like Jennie but I ju-“ She’s cut off by your abrupt eyes on her with raised eyebrows.

“When did I say that?” Your voice is just as shocked as you face.

“I just thought that you guys spend so much time and you’re all she talks about so I thought you must like each other.”

“What? No, we’re just friends Rosie, that’s all.” You shift to face her head on.

“But that kiss scene,” 

“Was just a kiss scene. Jennie and I are just friends. But about what you said earlier…” You look away from her before continuing.

“I have to say I’m a little surprised, you know? We have hardly talked at all and I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same way.” You look back just in time to see her shoulder fall.

“I get it. I mean we hardly know each other but I really do feel something for you.” Her voice wavers and her eyes well up with tears again.

“Hey, I’m not saying that I couldn’t. Let’s try going out a few times and see what happens. I think you’re great Rosie, I just haven’t had time to see you like that.” You smile as you see her head shoot up and she looks you in the eye for the first time since you arrived today. There’s hope shining through her like a beam and it genuinely makes you happy. 

You’ve been distant. This much is true but it’s not like you wanted her to think you were seeing anyone else. The truth is you haven’t really felt up to hanging out. Honestly, you’ve been kind of MIA as far as most of the people you associate with go. You just didn’t feel like it.

You’ve always hated the notion that you needed to check in with people. Granted, you definitely should have at least been checking in with your girlfriend, because Heejin is pretty upset. Not that you would know since you haven’t reached out to her yourself once in two weeks. Any contact you had was initiated by the idol and you kept cutting the conversation short, as though you’d rather be doing anything else with your time than talking to the girl that loves you the most.

Heejin finds herself debating on whether to just come see you or not. Your avoidance is hurting her feelings and making her extremely mad all at once.

“How long are you going to mope around here for Heekie?” Hyunjin nudges her best friend and offers her a small sympathetic smile.

“How long is she going to act like she’s single? How could she not call me even once?” Heejin crosses her arms with a pout.

“Why don’t you just go and tell her how you’re feeling? She might not even know she’s hurting your feelings.”

“Unless, she’s seeing someone else behind her back.”

They Both look up in surprise to see the owner of the voice is Hyeju. Heejin looks up at her in disbelief as the younger member stares back nonchalantly while drying her hair in a towel, seemingly fresh out of the shower.

“Do you know something or are you just saying that?” Heejin’s voice is low. Dread begins to pool in the pit of her stomach at the suggestion that you’d betray her like that. You wouldn’t even dream of it, would you?

“Don’t be ridiculous Hyeju. Y/n wouldn’t do something like that to Heejin!”

Hyeju shrugs as she discards the towel on her head.

“I mean if she’s being distant and unresponsive maybe she found someone else. That would be horrible and I’d murder her but it’s not completely impossible.”

As more time in silence goes on and Heejin stares off into nothingness Hyeju grumbles an apology after Hyunjin shoots daggers through her. Heejin is clearly locked in her own mind trying to process the possibility that you could in fact be seeing someone else. Do you not need her anymore? Has she been replaced.

Eventually, with a lot of coaxing from Hyunjin, Heejin makes her way to your Seoul apartment. She rings your doorbell and gently chews on her bottom lip while waiting for your response. After what feels like hours, you open the door to see your confident girlfriend looking timid and rather small. Her body language speaks for itself. Her arms are crossed around her person, hugging herself, her shoulders hunched in a little. She looks as though she’s trying to protect herself from you.

You usher her inside and hug her close, finally realizing how much you missed seeing her and having her in your arms. She smells as wonderful as she always does but her arms stay around herself instead of returning your embrace. You release her and give her some space once the tension around her registers. Curiosity takes over you as you watch your girlfriend look around you living space in uncertainty. Like she’s looking for something different or that shouldn’t be there.

Heejin looks up at you with a sad smile and asks if you can sit down and talk. When you both make it to the couch she sits as far away from you as she can. Now it’s really beginning to register that something isn’t right.

“Look,” You’re startled out of your thoughts by her timid voice. “I was thinking maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

Tears fill your vision instantly and your heart rate speeds up significantly enhancing the feeling of dread in your gut. You try to speak but she continues before you can.

“I know you’re probably already seeing someone new so this way you can see them freely.” You sputter in disbelief and begin to get closer and reach out.

“Babe what are you talking about? I’m not seeing anybody but you, who else could I possibly be interested in but my own girlfriend?”

“Well you never want to see me or talk to me anymore so you must have someone on the side taking all your attention.” Heejin won’t meet your eyes but she doesn’t pull away when you grasp her hands in your own.

“Heejin I’m sorry. I promise you that you are the only one. Now, tomorrow, and the next day. I just haven’t been feeling all that well.” Her face grows concerned while listening to you. “I’ve just been. Wanting to be alone all day every day. I didn’t realize that was hurting you but I should’ve let you know how I was feeling. But baby having you here right now reminds me of how much I’ve been missing you.

“Is something the matter that you don’t want to be bothered?” Her previous unfounded feelings of betrayal are replaced by nothing but worry for you. Her hands come up to carrels your cheeks as she looks in to your eyes trying to find something she can’t quite explain with words.

“No not really. I just needed to decompress away from others for a while. I might’ve got a little carried away though. Like I should probably call my family back now that I think about it.” Your laugh is a little dry now that your emotions have begun to stabilize. But the tears in your eyes fall now that you understand the gravity of the situation. All because of miscommunication you could’ve lost the love of your life.

“I won’t do that again. I can’t promise that I’ll never feel like that again but I promise not to shut you out anymore.”

“Please. I didn’t know what to think. It’s okay to want alone time, I completely get it. Just please let me know when you need that space so my mind won’t stray too far.”

“I promise sweetheart and I’m really sorry.”