#moonymoment

when it's warm again by moonymoment @mayescapade

“Hi, my love. 

It didn’t feel right to leave you with nothing to remember me by, so I’m writing this. It’s 6am, and I can hear you crying in the kitchen because we both know that this is the end. It’s our tragic ending. Shakespearean style. I remember them all now. And I still think we did it better than them. Ophelia and Hamlet, Desdemona and Othello - they were couples rooted in miscommunication. We had a rocky road but I think we made the most of what we had while we had it. We didn’t let what I was or what you were ruin the greatness that was us, and I think in the end, when you stop hurting, you’ll know that it was worth it. We were something great, my baby, living on stolen time and I hope you find comfort in knowing that we didn’t hold back for a second of the criminal extension we were given. I hope you never forget how brilliant it felt. Our collective. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. 

That’s my last name, by the way. For if, at some point in the future when you feel able, you wish to learn more about me. With any luck, my parents are dead, but my brother should still be alive - his name is Regulus, in case you don’t remember. I’m not sure he’d believe you if you told him about us but I think it’s worth a shot. You know more about me than anyone in the world besides him. It might comfort him to know that I went in some semblance of peace, and I think it might comfort you to know him, too. He’s a good kid. I suppose he’s a good adult now.

I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry it had to come to this. I never wanted you to hurt and now I feel like I can hear your heart breaking and there’s nothing I can do about it, because my path is set in stone. If I could break it I would, but it’s diamonds, love. Second chances come in crumbling limestone and we disintegrated, but I think that there’s enough of me in you for you to keep going. I need you to keep going, baby. Don’t let me ruin you. Keep training. You’re going to be the best teacher on the planet one day. Keep working on that thesis about the Salem witch trials - you know I’ve been reading it. It’s brilliant. You’re brilliant. Call your dad back, I can hear the landline beeping with a message as I write this. Tell Betty from upstairs that I’ll miss her cat. I’m not sure if she knows who I am, but that ginger cat and I became friends. Maybe he can comfort you too.

Fuck, I want to be the one to hold you and it’s criminal that I can’t. I hope I’ve held you enough to compensate, but I also hope it wasn’t too much. Please find love. My happy ending is you but your tragic ending doesn’t have to be me. I write this with the hope in my heart that you’ll find someone. Kiss and love and smile and laugh again because that’s all I ever wanted from you. My baby. Please don’t close your heart off. I know you’ll want to. I’ll send one of my ghost friends to come down there and beat your ass if you do, and I promise they won’t hold back on the haunting like I did. I was always dying but I couldn’t bear it if I killed you too.

Smile. Please. Your happiness was my lifeline and my deathline and everything in between. I want you to do it in my memory. I want you to do it and forget me, eventually. Hopefully one day in ten years your significant other will kiss you against the fridge and I’ll pop into your head, and you’ll smile then, too, thinking about how wonderful we were while we lasted, and how beautiful our whirlwind of a love story was.

In another lifetime I’d be yours and you’d be mine. But things don’t always work out the way we want them to, and sometimes that’s okay. It will hurt but you will be okay. I can promise you that.

Bye, baby. I’ll see you when you get up here. 

(I’ll be waiting, my love. I’ll wait for you until the end of time.)

I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. 

I love you!!!!!!!!!!

Sirius”

— Saccharine, moonymoment

"fight back !"