for a moment, she’s transported years back. before her mistake, before the fallout. she’s eight years old. the daughter of toph beifong has an image to keep up, but she just wants to run around with her older sister. lin is an unstoppable force to the little girl, even at fourteen, lin is defined. strong. what is suyin? except a little lost, following in the steps of giants, confused. how long has she wanted to run? out the door, never looking back? flash forward. she leaves without so much as a goodbye, and she’s sent to her grandparents. ( suyin didn’t say sorry yet. how could her mom let her leave without saying sorry. ) flash forward. the pirate ship. the sand benders. the circus. ( she still hasn’t managed to say sorry. why can’t she say it? ) when she builds the city, when she settles down, when she hears about her sister — the chief you say? I always know she’d follow in mom’s footsteps. is she happy? she tries.
the memory lights up like a flashbulb. a young opal plays outside, and suyin brings the pen and paper outside. this type of letter shouldn’t be written in an office — that’s too impersonal. she listens to her daughter laugh, as she begins again. dear lin, it’s been years. no , what if lin throws it out immediately? dear lin, how are you? no. lin won’t answer. su stops, the sun making her daughter look angelic. this girl deserves to know her aunt. hand turns back to the paper, dear lin, I'm sorry. she drops the paper when opal cries, and the wind picks its up. by the time su has consoled her daughter, the letter is gone. it doesn’t matter. she wouldn’t have read it either.
it was a long time ago. thirty years. thirty years. they could have had thirty years. what if suyin had died? here. now. how could she face the spirits, knowing she had left lin? why couldn’t she have said sorry when she needed to. you cannot go back in time. you want to, how badly suyin wishes that time could be undone. how many memories does she picture her sister in now? su is smiling, smiling because she knows her sister has forgiven her. but the tear on her cheek reminds her that this could have been years ago. she turns away from lin, she can’t face her. like a coward. she’s a coward.
‘ everything I've lost —— ‘ she stops. the guilt. her voice breaks. she didn’t love her son the right way. she didn’t love kuvira the right way. she didn’t love her sister enough to apologize thirty years ago. suyin has loved in all the wrong ways. and thus, she has lost. ‘ I can’t lose you lin — I've lost — I've lost more than you know. ‘ the memories. the identity. a mother failed. ‘ it’s me who has to make up for everything lin. ‘ she can’t look her sister in the eye. she can’t. how beautiful lin is. even with the scar, more with the scar. suyin shakes. if they had died because of her mistake. ‘ i have been a bad mentor , mother , but I — I failed you as a sister lin. ‘
‘ I can’t take any more loss ——— and I promise you , I will never hurt you again. ‘