#month 14

I write lots of little posts on this blog (well maybe not lots, but some), but I never really have them written to you. This one is for you.

It feels like you’re coming home so soon, but also never. There are still nine more months, and it is both so wonderful and so scary. My brain goes and thinks about all of the wonderful things that could happen. We could be engaged in the next year. We could go on cute dates. We could laugh and be so silly. I dream of you coming home and all of the other worries of life melting away. Just being so thrilled to have you by my side again.  I dream of walks in my neighborhood, and kisses on the top of Webb Hill. I just can’t wait to see where life takes us, hopefully together. 

There is a lot of uncertainty, not necessarily with us, but with time. I put timetables on things, all sorts of things, and can end of being being disappointed. I want to be with you as much as I can, as soon as I can. We’re going to live so far apart for a little while and that’s going to be so hard. We’re still going to have pretty regular goodbyes and I’m already dreading them. Even though it’s going to be hard, that is what I want. I want that time. I want those reunions every so often. I want the long talks on the phone. I want weekends where we try to cram every single thing in, cause it’s all we have for just a little bit. I can’t wait to be able to date you again. To have my boyfriend again.

I look forward to all that comes after that. I can’t wait to marry you, when the time comes. I can’t wait to get to keep you forever. I can’t wait to grow up together and go through all of those big life moments together.  I can’t wait to cross things off of “our list,” and all of the random adventures that they will bring. I can’t wait to have you as apart of my family, and to start a family with you. All of these things once seemed to be so far away, definitely “one day” things, and now I feel like they are around the corner. Like I have so much to prepare for, because I don’t feel ready.