#mod mirabelle

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We've noticed that there's a lot of misinformation or just things people don't know in the ISAT fandom, so we want to help people keep their facts straight, as well as spread some little known fun facts! Here, thanks to our lovely fact checker Mod Odile, we only share true facts.

Speaking of which, below the cut we have introductions for all of our awesome moderators. We have decided to all take an ISAT character as a "faceclaim" we can use to represent ourselves. We are not roleplayers, we're just using our favorite characters to represent ourselves! Feel free to send us questions; we're always willing to learn more, you can even submit a fact you'd like us to make a post about (which, as always, will be fact checked!)

and it was better this time! i really liked the discussion about like, faith not being about appearances, and who looks like they're doing the best at it, or whatever. because it's easy to look at other people and go oh they're so much better at this than me... when that's really not the point at all!

it made me feel a lot better about my relationship with the change god in source! because it was so easy to think about how all the other housemaidens were changing and following teachings better than me... but little changes were just as valid and i was following in my way with my own faith and that's what really mattered!

as much as they say they never changed much, mirabelle did change over time quite a bit in source, and even now, watching them change and grow and becoming their own... it's really nice. really cool. they've never given themself enough credit, i think.

in our system, mirabelle mostly started out as just an anxiety holder, fronting when our anxiety was especially high and also try to get through that anxiety. they didn't really front for much else.

but they've really fixated on faith and religion, comparing their own religion to what the collective system follows, and it's really helping them come into their own and differentiate themself more from other system anxiety holders. mirabelle thinks their postings on all this is probably really cringe, but i really think it's good for them. it's helping them grow. it's bringing them happiness. and their happiness makes me happy, too.

love ya, mira

last week, when going to the bible study we mostly attend to spend time with our mom... it kinda caused us to panic and freak out. when we've been working so hard to learn self compassion and self confidence, to remind ourself that we are capable and can do things...for the bible study to kind of throw that back in our face and be like, well, if you're feeling able to handle what life throws your way, if you're confident in your ability to weather the storm, then you're doing religion wrong

like. um. we've never felt confident or capable. we never feel like we're able to do anything right. probably contributing to whatever kickstarted our physically painful anxiety attacks. haha.

we weren't even going to go this week. since we had an appointment at the same time. but. we ended up going anyway. and just doing the appointment before going into the study. and this week was. better?

it actually lined up with this week's therapy session really well. hard times are hard, and there's no discounting that. for better or for worse, they shape who we are. and, for better or for worse, there's lessons to be learned from the hard times. it's an opportunity.

it's also worth it, though, to look at the lessons we've learned from those opportunities...and see if they're still serving us. because it's really easy to pick up harmful stuff too, like, 'i'm too emotional and showing my emotions will only get me hurt'. that one doesn't really help. but. 'i got through this hard situation and i persevered, and didn't just survive it, i bounced back, and got myself into a better situation. so i know i am stronger than i think i am.' that's a better one, unrelated to the first one.

we are always growing, always learning...and we always have the opportunity to take what we've learned and question it, to figure out if it's really a fact, or if that lesson we learned is actually hurting us...

and it's a good reminder, too. that the religion isn't all bad. it's done a lot of harm, yes. but there's still good things to pick up out of it. the reminders to love, to view the world from the point of view of love. the reminders to not succumb to despair. the reminders that we are always growing and changing and learning.

it's late and i'm not wording well so i just hope some of that makes sense. haha.

anyway. here's hoping the next session doesn't trigger a panic attack like last week did.

But like I said, we're better today!! And right now I'm in front, but I'm not sure if it'll last, so...hello!! Today we have shopping plans!!

supernova's helping me write this one, too

the other thing we've been doing is biweekly therapy (once every two weeks). and what we're working on is self acceptance and self love and self esteem and self confidence

and this is...a form of Change, for us. because we've never been someone who is able to love ourselves, or feel we're good at things.

so we're getting into positive affirmations, which are helping a little as we try to practice them... and, we're gonna be trying out this thing where every day we practice five minutes of self care. in a very. practicing mindfulness way. trying to restore ourselves. trying to just be.

we'll see how it goes. we have good feelings about this! we're also just. tired of being exhausted and hating ourselves all the time. so maybe if we stop dragging ourselves down, we can feel a little better... and we're gonna try to keep up the positive affirmations, too. along with other skills like challenging negative thoughts that we need to keep practicing... it's a lot but it's worth it!

Thanks Supernova...

This week was...mixed feelings again.

We talked a lot about free will and being able to make our own choices and I really enjoyed it at first! Free will is a big part of individuality and changing! Changing is actively making choices!

But, at the same time, you know how it is with Christianity, there's this undertone of yeah you have free will but there's still right and wrong choices and if you choose the wrong ones you're going to burn for eternity.

To an extent I kinda get it, because like, you have things that hurt other people that are obviously wrong. But rather than free will being a test of your faith or whatever, I really more see it as free will being an opportunity to find yourself and learn how to be authentically you...

Sometimes it's really neat to compare and contrast, and it really reaffirms my believe in Change, but sometimes, it's demoralizing, seeing what people around me want me to believe...

It's dark like the night sky, a little glittery, and has moon and star designs on it.

Probably isn't a surprise that Siffrin fell in love with this thing like immediately. He literally can't leave it alone. So I guess this is, uh, our new favorite ring! Haha

It's hard for us to wear rings, in a way, because our fingers are permanently inflammed these days. Inflammation has us a whole...at least two ring sizes larger? But it's not painful to wear rings or anything, we just think it looks a little...awkward. But, uh, regardless, we're gonna be wearing this a lot I think