#mod ama

I can’t think of one off of the top of my head, but that definitely doesn’t mean there isn’t any. So, I’m going to put this out to followers just in case any of y’all are aware of an ace/aro- and trans-friendly MLM positivity blog. Feel free to recommend one in the comments! I’ll also put this post in the tags for mlm and nblm, in case anyone in that space can help out.

honestly? a tie between the plague doc, specifically the nonbinary snom, our mareep emote & our hornet emote

Anonymous said to a-gender: Idk if you'll even answer this but how do you know if ur agender cause I'm so fuckin confused about gender and this is the one option I haven't explored much yet. Like how do u know??????

Anonymous said to a-gender: How do u know ur agender. I assume is different for everyone, but I'm currently questioning and have no idea what I'm doing.🙃

Anonymous said to a-gender: Hello, TrevorSpace brought me here. I’m really confused about my gender right now and I’m going through a crisis. I feel agender but I still feel like a girl. If anyone can help me, I’d appreciate it greatly :)

Anonymous said to a-gender: Hey. Is nonbinary for specific for trans people? And those who don't feel like they have a gender is agender? Sometimes I feel they/them but okay with she/her. Does that mean I'm agender?

Anonymous said to a-gender: Hi, recently I've started identifying as agender because it feels exactly right for me. I have a very fem presentation just bc I like that style, and I've spent 6+ years calling myself a lesbian too. Can I possibly be agender and a lesbian? I don't know how to understand my sexuality outside of 'lesbian' bc that's what it's been shaped by so thoroughly, I like women and use they/she pronouns. Confused what I should do.

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Hi there! My apologies for the long wait--I've been very busy. I decided to group these together since they all deal with a very similar theme.

As far as how I personally realized I was agender--like I've said previously on here, a lot of it was realizing that any idea of gender as far as how it related to me, myself, and I was very little more than a wiggly hand-gesture static noise. 'Gender' has meaning when I think of other people, but not when I think about myself.

You can also explore terms like gendervague, gendervoid, and genderless, which are related terms but not necessarily quite the same as agender (your mileage may vary).

As far as feeling agender but also like a girl, assuming that 'girl' is gender-based and not presentation based--there are terms like girlflux, genderflux, etc. that might help! Those are more along the lines of a spectrum between 0 and "girl" that your gender might fluctuate up and down along.

Nonbinary is an umbrella term, as well as a specific gender! Agender falls under the nonbinary umbrella, and an agender person is both agender and nonbinary, but a nonbinary person may not be agender (and very well might be "just" nonbinary!).

It's important to remember that pronouns don't equal gender. If you like they/them and she/her, it doesn't mean that you're necessarily agender. You could be a whole host of things. For example, I use she/her, they/them, and ey/em and I'm agender, but my best friend uses she/her and they/them and is not agender. I wish I could be more help here, but unfortunately all your pronoun set "means" is... that you have a pronoun set.

The fact that you say you feel like you don't have a gender could certainly point to being agender, however!

Gender also does not equal presentation! Having a feminine presentation doesn't necessarily mean anything as far what your gender is (and don't forget about butch/masc lesbians!). However! The whole 'lesbian and now agender lesbian' thing is very familiar to me, because I went through the same thing! You can absolutely be agender and a lesbian, if that's what jives with how you see yourself.

If any of you have any followup questions, don't hestitate to let me know!

Gods, I really feel this, as a stressed-out college student, oof. I’ve been snapping at everyone lately, oof. Sorry requests take me forever to write, I’ll be trying to write more often but I can’t promise anything. 

Jumin: 

As someone who is often under immense pressure and stress, it is not a foreign emotion to Jumin. 

Granted, he is skilled at containing his feelings and keeping emotions and stress under control for the most part, and as such he may not quite understand why you’re suddenly acting out from it. His poor experience with others means that he expects everyone to act as he does. 

Initially, he might be shocked when you yell at him to just leave you “the fuck alone” and finds himself at a loss at how to react. 

Would likely just leave the room in subtle anger, not wanting to make the situation any worse, now feeling an overwhelming ache in his chest to hear you speak that way to him. 

He’d take a bit to cool off, and then realise that he should have been kinder and less patronising. 

Hesitantly, Jumin would go to you and apologise, and since he has no prior romantic experience before you, he’d likely turn up with flowers - red roses - as an apology because he read it in a book once. 

You’d be dearly touched, of course, and apologise for snapping at him. 

If you needed help learning or studying, he’d happily hire only the best tutors and professors to personally explain things for you. 

Yoosung: 

He’s basically in the same boat as you - you’re both stressed, nervous and frustrated with exams being right around the corner. 

As such, when you snap at him after he asks if you ate and hydrated properly out of love for you, he’d be deeply upset, how could he not be? 

He was just as stressed as you were, but at least he was trying to be a good, loving boyfriend and you were treating him like this!? 

Initially, he’d be distraught, and feel your words stab his heart. 

He’d feel offended and leave in a hurtful huff, not sure what else to do, but he did not wish to deepen the argument, either. 

You better be the one to apologise to him. He’d eventually re-evaluate his own actions and try to beg for your forgiveness, since he loved you so much and would come to blame himself for you snapping at him, so you’ll have to take responsibility for your actions and assure him this is entirely your fault. 

He’d offer to study with you and help you get work done.

After exams, you two hole up in his dorm and watch Netflix for a whole weekend. 

Zen:

He was stressed out himself during this time, with attempting to juggle roles and music recordings.

As such, when you snapped at him, Zen immediately snapped back. Neither of you meant to be cruel or venomous, but your frustrated states caused the situation to heavily escalate. 

Before you knew it, you were yelling at one another and arguing like a storm. It was wrong of both of you, but at the moment you felt so angry that you did not bother to think about what you were even saying. 

His words only fuelled your rage, and vice versa, until you couldn’t take it anymore and burst into tears. 

This caused him to freeze, wide-eyed as guilt and realisation hit him in the gut, all his words coming back to him as he swallowed his regret. He’d want to comfort you but would be so hesitant. He raised his voice at you…he made you cry..! 

You were regretting your words, just like he was weeping because you hated how you exploded for no reason.

With immense hesitance, Zen would apologise, trying not to cry himself, as he attempts to wrap his arms around you. You let him. 

Jaehee:

Jaehee is no stranger to be being stressed out of her mind

She really does understand what you’re going through  - especially after working for Jumin for so long. 

Out of all the other RFA members, she’d be the one to not take your harsh words to heart, knowing it’s all just frustration from your end and not something which you actually mean to say. 

As such, she wouldn’t yell or get offended. She’d leave, but only to come back five minutes later with a cup of tea to soothe your nerves and a snack to make sure you’re taking care of yourself whilst studying. 

You’d likely break down in tears when she comes back, thinking that she’d hate you for snapping like that, and apologising through sobs. 

Hearing you cry would hurt Jaehee’s heart, and she quickly comforts and holds you close to her, assuring you that you needn’t worry because she gets what you’re going through. 

She’d likely snapped at you herself a few times - and would want to try and ease that stress to the best of her abilities. 

Saeyoung:

He was trying to get you to take a break, joking around and trying to make you laugh. Unfortunately for you, he was distracting as all hell, and not at all funny in that situation. 

You had tons of work to get done! You didn’t have time for this. 

Admittedly, you should not have snapped at him, and regretted it as soon as the words left your lips. On the other hand, you did not expect him to take it further than just leaving the room to let you study. Instead of that, he started to argue with you and call you out, which only fuelled your rage more. 

Especially since he was being such a hypocrite! He always complained and snapped at you if you did anything to distract him when he was working, so how was this any different? 

Both of you said nasty words which neither of you really meant, and both ended up severely regretting. 

When all was said and done, you turned away from him to face the wall, not wanting him to see you as tears gathered in your glassy eyes, as you tried to conceal your sobs.

Saeyoung, however, knew you well enough to know you were about to cry and he hated that he was the cause. He hesitated, not sure what to do. 

Swallowing a lump in his throat and with a heavy heart full of guilt, Saeyoung slowly walked over to you and tried to wrap his arm around you from behind, placing his chin on your shoulder and muttering an apology, pleading you not to cry. He’d then make some silly joke to lighten the mood, and his heart would feel lighter when he heard you laugh.

Oh! Yes! Many!

Fridays at the Rowdy Raven 3k Special

Thanks to you all, we've reached over 3000 followers! To celebrate this amazing milestone, our Fridays at the rowdy raven will be a Mod AMA! Direct your questions to one or more of our mods, and we'll answer to the best of our legal ability!

Mod Knight - the theatre loving Panic! Fan

Mod Handy - the quick witted nb creative genius

Mod Katt - the loving momfriend with twisted interests

Mod Sphinx - the mysterious exotic new mod

Ask us anything you like, about the arcana or otherwise! Ask one, ask us all, it's all up to you!!

We love you guys, thanks again!