Nov 10, 2013
Moan.
Three: Your muse owns mine for two days
"...Owns...?"
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Moan.
Three: Your muse owns mine for two days
"...Owns...?"
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constantly thinking about you...
Day no.3 in the life of Rose of plans falling through.
I have had plans for the past 3 days now and every one of them has fallen through because no one can be bothered it seems so I keep getting ditched and it is seriously pissing me off.
So hard dressing for a day at uni when the only thing predictable about Auckland weather is that, its unpredictable. Grrrr.
i really don't want it to be summer
i don't like myself in skirts or shorts or summery dresses and if i wear anything else i'm too hot... i can't afford new clothes and even if i did i don't feel comfortable in summery clothes most of the time. The sun makes me ill, idk if it's cause of my anemia but i can't be in the sun longer than half an hour without getting a migraine or almost passing out... i just hate that i can't go out and feel confident or good about how i'm looking
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So it's my driving test tomorrow. I found out all licences for it and I just needed my theory paper that my mom knew where it was.
She found it and asked "Do I have every thing?"
"Yeah I just need the money for the car"
She storms into a rant that I've just been paid and they've given me Christmas money.
Yes fair enough but this money is to save for the future. I'm putting the majority of it in an isa.
She said I should pay for it myself as well as house keeping. Well, this is put down as another driving lesson which my parents said they'd pay for. I even gave them £60 for my test which they gave back ( I'm not sure what's different between that £60 and this £60? ) They could've just given me £60 less for Christmas.
I'd feel wrong if say my Grandad asked what nice things I spent his money on and I said a test.
It's strange how the last few months as shown me how everyone is just a person. Nobody is that different. My mom act's like a child, she has a strop, and then is happy again. They've begun to treat me so much different now I have a ( small ) job.
As for house keeping, sometimes they are serious, sometimes they kid. Do they want £20 or £200? I'm happy to do my own laundry, cooking, cleaning. I guess I could chip in for the heating but recently I've only been at home to sleep and it's turned off then.
I should've gone to uni.
Btw I love my parents. They just have no sense of logic. At all.
Dad just ripped into me and man it's breaking my heart. You're my dad? Aren't you supposed to love me unconditionally? It would be okay if I actually knew what I did wrong instead of being completely oblivious.... Whatever, I need to sort my shit out and find somewhere to live, I can't handle this anymore.
I want a cuddle and some tea and someone who actually thinks well of me to reassure me. But nah just going to sit here quietly and scrub fake blood off my face in my room.