There used to be a time when these events were events in Virâs life. He still remembers that first time Oliver brough Vir as a plus-one to one of these black-tie gatherings, at which point Vir went out of his way to buy a suit he couldnât afford and wouldnât shut up about it for the week leading up to or following the dinner party. These days, however, Vir meets the news of another damn White House event with a groan and a âDo I have to go?â (at which point Oliver threw dress shoe in his direction, which Vir took as an emphatic âyesâ), though promises in the car ride over to be on his best behavior and show off those pearly-whites he flosses so often for.
And for the last hour, heâs been phenomenal. He only takes two clementines before they serve the actual dinner, he shows off the fun little French phrases his father taught him to some bored-looking Macron aides, and he even complies with Oliverâs requests to give the press some affectionate shots of the Second Family despite the fact that he despises anything that even remotely resembles PDA. At around minute sixty-two, however, the wine starts hitting a little different and he decides that he once again canât pretend he doesnât hate this. So he takes another glass of the red chalaue or bordeou or some other French delicacy with too many vowels, making a bee-line to his usual strategy during these events - two hallways down from the main room, close enough that itâs not suspicious but far enough that nobody thinks to venture out to bother him.
Or at least, Vir assumes that no one will think to bother him, but just as heâs finally settled in with a small notebook and pen balancing on his knees, heâs startled out of his thoughts by the sound of someoneâs voice. âFuck, ah, oui, bonjour, baguette,â he exclaims as he drops the pen in surprise. He looks up, only to realize - âOh, youâre not French.â His shoulders ease a bit at the fact. This is usually the part where he pretends to be apologetic, lamenting a splitting headache or a bad stomach or a half-deadly stroke for how terribly rude he is for leaving the party, but tonight heâs tired of making a genuine effort at Second Gentleman. Heâs been tired for a while, actually. Instead, he cocks his head to the side, considering his guest before asking, âYou up for a game of Twenty Questions?â He raises the glass of dark alcoholic nonsense he picked up on his way out, taking a sip. âIâll even let you start.â