#mname

Proximity alert, the way Em starts to stumble over his words and Name just smiles, smiles, smiles because he loves him so much. And they're just the sweetest friends, the softest boys, the way they've found each other and stayed together and the support everyone gives to Name and the way Name listens and understands.

Bonus: Did I mention Name is in love with Em?

Name is in a constant state of breaking my heart into pieces and shattering me because he is so desperate not to be left behind and has so much anxiety about all of it. He's in a place where everyone is moving on without him and he's still stuck where he started.

And that's the real pain of Name's story. That's the real agony of watching him. Is that he truly is trapped where he is. His anxiety and fears have left him silent but, even more, have left him trapped. He doesn't go anywhere, he doesn't explore new places or new ideas or new things.

He sits in his room,in familiar places, in old memories, and he clings to what he had and what he remembers and everyone else is moving forward, traveling, exploring, learning and he's... not.

And his mother's constant pressure to just get over, to just start talking, to stop being the way he is, isn't helping anything. If anything, it's hurting him more and more.

I am truly wondering what next week holds for him. Because he is at a breaking point, at a spot where he cannot keep clinging to anything familiar. He's losing Em, his mother won't stop and his new friend is definitely one of them and something is going to break.

Name slowly giving up hope, giving up on Em, while we can see Em living his life and thinking he has all of this balanced better now is painful because I understand both sides, both Em thinking that Name will be okay and that this is just a rough spot and Name convinced that he's nothing to Em, that he doesn't matter, that he's lost the closest friendship and the most important person in his life.

Cannot deny that Name breaks my heart on every level. He is so desperate, so hurt, so anxious about everything and he has relied on Em for so long and Em now has no idea how desperate he is nor does he understand how much his mother is hurting (Em has such a wonderful relationship with his mother and him going through Name's mother makes sense even though it's hurting Name) and it makes sense as much as it hurts.

Utsuri yuku kisetsu no naka de mata Chikazuiteku sayonara no shunkan Zutto isshoni sugoshite kita   Soro soro jikan da ne Baby kimi to deatte Koware sou na yoru wo norikoete   Kono basho he Cause we made it Tou mawari demo Cause we made it Machigai nanka janakute  Michibi ite kureta Oh We made it here tonight Sukoshi kowai kamo shirenai kedo mata Meguri aeru you na ki ga suru kara Sasai na koto de kenka mo shita Subete ni imi ga atta ne Baby kimi to deatte Tomo ni yume mite samayotte Kono basho he Cause we made it Koukai wanai Cause we made it Tatoe dare ga semetatte Unmei datta kara Oh We made it here tonight oh oh oh Cause we made it Cause we made it… We made it here tonight… Cause we made it Cause we made it… We made it here tonight… Sky is slowly turning orange like you on the green field I wanna run with you Sunlight Moonlight Always thinking bout you The sky's the paper I wanna paint Your beautiful picture Bright love Wow…with you Tomarazu hashitte mayotte Tsumazuite itakute Kimi ga ite kurete Dakara ima Dakara boku wa Baby kimi to deatte Koware sou na yoru wo norikoete Kono basho he Cause we made it Tou mawari demo Cause we made it Machigai nanka janakute Michibi ite kureta  We made it here tonight oh oh oh

2016/12/16 11:38 RJTT

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