#mmshckly

It feels pretty strange to finally be writing this, the last 2424 post! This project has really become a part of my life - I have been thinking about it and working on it for more than a full year. I had planned to include myself as the final interview of the project, and after much back and forth about actually going through with that idea, here it is. I asked some of my friends to send me questions they wanted me to answer for my post and the results of that exercise are below. I'll admit that some of the questions I did not have an answer to and some I didn't want to answer publicly. It was kind of hard to do this, but having to stop, sit and think was in the end (as other interviewees told me) a truly cathartic experience of reflecting on the past 12 months. Doing this myself has given me an even greater respect and appreciation for everyone who participated in this project than I already had, so thank you, you are all truly wonderful! I also want to thank Amardeep for helping me get this site up and running and looking good, Caroline for helping me with the name, and Brooke for hosting a beautiful dinner for the NYC participants a few weeks ago to celebrate the project. And of course, thank you for reading. It's a beautiful thing to support and know your peers at this time in our life and everyone who read even part of just one interview played a hand in the community we created here. Cheers to 25!

How has this year measured up to your expectations?

I didn’t have super clear expectations of what would happen this year, but I did have a general feeling that it would be an important year and a good one. Though I knew I wanted change, I did not expect things to change and work out the way they have over the past 12 months, and in two huge areas of my life, this year has exceeded my expectations by far. I knew I would find a better job, but I didn’t realize how completely taken I would find myself with the new job I found. I feel really lucky to have found something that I really enjoy doing. Before my current job, I was struggling to find a career would make me happy so it feels pretty incredible to have some clarity in that aspect of my life - it actually feels like I'm on a "path"!

I also didn’t expect to fall in love! I didn’t even necessarily expect to be dating anyone let alone someone that I am bursting at the seems with greater adoration for every single day (hi H.S.!). This sounds totally crazy, but a psychic told me that I would find love at 26 so I honestly was in a phase where I was like, “Cool, don’t have to worry about that for a while,” in my head. So, the psychic was wrong (surprised?) and I couldn’t be happier about that.

I recently found a note of 25 things I wanted to accomplish before turning 25 and I realized that the things I have accomplished from that list were the ones I thought were the loftiest when writing them down and the items I thought would be surefire are the ones that I didn't make happen or lost interest in altogether. So in a lot of ways, this year was a big surprise.

How has this project helped you understand yourself more?

I've definitely learned more about my work ethic in sticking this project out. When I started 2424, I was unfulfilled at my job and had a lot of downtime to work on side projects like this. Within months of starting the project, my time became really really sparse as my professional and personal life changed and finding time to work on the project in my own schedule became an obstacle. There were definitely days when I wanted to throw in the towel, but I really believed in doing this and I try to never leave something unfinished, so I took the hurdles and I found ways over them. Looking back, I can see how I learned to create content and work collaboratively with others to produce work on a tight schedule that I feel proud of.

With 2424, my emphasis hasn't been on numbers or clicks, but rather on bringing genuine voices and thoughts from my peers together for others to read. It's been really incredible to get feedback that I am accomplishing that from people I know as well as from people I have never even met who write to tell me how moved they are by the posts they have read. During the interviews, it was always really exciting for me to hear a line or read a paragraph that was such a real, raw response that I knew others would appreciate and that the interviewee really felt to their core.

In your interview experiences, what have you found most inspiring about your interviewees?

I found a lot of myself in other people during this project and it was exciting to see people hold the same beliefs, passions and values that I do. I was warmed by everyone's love for their family - I think every single person expressed that in some way or another whether it made it into their final post or not. I was perhaps most inspired by the openness and willingness of so many people who I didn't necessarily know well or at all who sat down and talked to me about their lives. A lot of people told me that doing their interview was a cathartic experience and I am so glad that I was able to facilitate that for people at this time in our lives where everything is pretty up in the air and we are thinking so tirelessly about what the hell we are doing on this planet and are constantly in search of some kind of relief and reassurance from that pressure.

Have you found your "thing"? If no, do you think you will? Do you think that that's necessarily something people always find?

I think I did, yeah. I think I found my thing or my thing found me super early on in high school when I was the editor of our yearbook. Sounds so silly, I know, but honestly, having the creative control over how that book looked from cover to cover, deciding what content would fill the pages and in what order, reimagining the standards of that format, working with a team of diverse talents to pull it all off was all a complete thrill for me. For some reason I lost sight of how directly that experience could translate into a path of study and eventually a career in creating content and I went some roundabout way to get where I am now. I'm back to creating the strategy and content for the new realm of publications - web and social. A year ago I was telling people I wanted to end up working on the next kind of publication - not a magazine or paper and not necessarily a website - and I ended up working on a culture and entertainment site and its social platforms and it still kind of shocks me when I think about how full circle it all is.

I realize that I am lucky to even have the problem of wanting to find "my thing" and that that experience is not the reality of the majority of the population of the world. Therefore, I realize how lucky I am to feel like right now, I am in the right place, doing the right thing.

At 24, to what extent do you find that your identity is linked to your profession? In my experience, people our age tend to move through companies and roles more frequently than our parents or Gen X. If you agree with that assertion, do you think that this fluidity has any affect on your own or your peers' sense of identity?

For me, I do find my identity to be linked to my profession. I know that is a cringe-inducing statement to some people in my age group, but I view it as such - I know who I am (my identity), and my profession has to fit into it or else I will keep changing my job until I find the one that works. I think for some people it’s the reverse - you end up in an industry and assume the identity of a person in that industry or role to some extent and maybe you try out a bunch of industries until something clicks and you feel right. For me, I feel right and am looking with great care and intention for all of the parts of the world that fit me best. 

For now, I have found something great, but had I not, you bet I'd be changing my LinkedIn again within a year. I have come up against criticism and caution against my job hopping but that is such a small concern in my book when I am considering that my whole well-being is off track when I am unhappy with what I do with the majority of time. If I am going to have to spend 40-60 hours a week doing something for the rest of my life, that thing has to be something I want to do, am proud to do, am excited by and can learn from.

Do you have any role models right now?

My mom and dad are my biggest role models. Being of an age where I am largely taking care of myself (sorry for frantic calls when I am sick, mom!), paying my own bills, and making my own decisions, I realize now more than ever how hard it is to get by. I realize how much it takes to be responsible for yourself, and I can hardly imagine how much more is demanded of you to be responsible for kids and a family. As I figure out how to make it by myself, not a day escapes me that I do not think about how my parents figured all of this adult stuff out and created such a great life for me and my brother at the same time and I deeply respect them for giving everything in their lives their absolute all and pulling it all off. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that I am standing on my own two feet, my brother is a scarily smart and successful sibling and future doctor, and my parents are kicking back a bit and having what seems like a whole lot of fun at this stage in their lives! As I continue to navigate my future and strive for happiness, I am always looking to them for what worked and what didn’t and how to handle the bumps with grace and celebrate the successes with love.

What do you think is one of the most important things you've learned about yourself this year?

I have never been very outspoken or extraverted and something that I wanted to work on in my 24th year was finding the courage to add my voice to conversations more frequently. Often, I'd find myself in groups of people discussing anything - culture, politics, a song - and I would find myself thinking that I was never enough of an expert to really have an opinion on the topic or that the opinion I had wasn't anything special. Whether it was a conversation in a tiny Brooklyn apartment, in a loud bar or at a meeting at work, I'd hesitate and miss opportunities to add my two cents and feel silly for it later.

I think my new role on the editorial team at Tribeca has been simultaneously freeing and reinforcing for me as I have truly been able to exercise my voice on every decision from how to cover current social issues to the look of our web site, in fact, it’s really been demanded of me to put in my two cents on almost everything. I quickly got into the habit of speaking up and have been pleased to see my thoughts received openly and critically. Another big help in getting me to overcome that hesitation has been being in an incredibly open, honest and understanding relationship.

I don't often find myself feeling afraid of not having enough information to chime in anymore and I have gotten maybe too good at admitting when I don't know about something and asking others to give me their take so that I can begin to understand and formulate my own response.

What is your idea of success? How do you hope to get there?

It all boils down to happiness for me. And knowing what makes you happy is unique to everyone and is a moving target. For me, success is a concept for my life as a whole - personally, professionally, and everywhere in between.

Success as it relates to my career is measured by how happy I am to be there, doing the work I signed up to do, and whether I am challenged and stimulated to continue to learn. For me, the compensation side of it is really a non-issue beyond being a means to sustain my happiness. If I were not making enough to continue living in New York which is a place that makes me happy and is where my job that makes me happy is located, I would likely feel unsuccessful, or unhappy. Sure I would love to make more money so I could buy more fancy shoes if I am being totally honest, but I am definitely not under the guise that more shoes are going to make me happy or feel more successful, maybe prettier though.

In the same sense regarding my relationships - having more friends won't make me happier, having better relationships with my friends will. I guess what I am trying to say is that for me, success is never expressed as a number. 

So to be successful is just a question of whether am I happy by my own definition of happiness - how I spend my time each day and who I spend it with. And if not, what is the area in my life that is lacking and how can I improve it? It's an ever evolving conversation and a practice of listening to my body, my mind, my heart and figuring out what needs to be done to feel good about all of the different areas of my life.

You danced intensively and competitively as child and teen. In what way, if any, do you see the affects of that experience in your life now?

On the most basic level, it has made me very aware of and appreciative of my body. I can move through the thickest rush hour commute sardine slammed subway crowd at a speed that scares people. I can sit in a chair pose and sweat and burn forever in yoga because I have worked my body really hard for years on end and savored the soreness and strength that comes after. I really value being in tune with my body.

On a deeper level, I think dance instilled a degree of daring and a knowledge that I am resilient in me as well. I'm not too afraid to try something new because I have been told while wearing pointe shoes and a skin tight pink pleather dress to free fall to the floor following turns and jumps and not catch myself, to spin on my head and to wear my pointe shoes to bed to break them in. And I’ve done it. Through it all - sore muscles, bruises, exhaustion and bleeding feet - I only ever learned that I was stronger than I thought I was and that’s really empowering. I am always glad I danced because I find evidence of the abundance of strengths it gave me in myself every day.

What has 24 been like for you compared to how you imagined it would be 10 years ago?

I don’t remember what I pictured my life to be like in the future back when I was 14 but, I do know that I was starting to picture myself in college and beyond when I was about 17. I'd have to admit that my 17 year old self was pretty spot on as to who my 24 year old self would be. I had an attitude not of wanting to move to New York, but knowing I would, and that I would love living there, which I do. I remember thinking I would work in magazines, which I did for a brief moment and now I am working in pretty much the same manner but for digital instead of print. I took some detours to get here, but the irony of how full-circle I have come and how happy that has made me is not lost on me. I bet I pictured having a cute boyfriend at 24 too but I never could have dreamt up someone so great as the one I have been so lucky to find.

What are your biggest goals or plans for your 25th year?

I haven't thought too much about that yet to be honest. I just want to excel professionally, chill out personally, hang with my friends, save money, travel, survive winter. I hope to cook more, draw, take pictures, make the lamp I've been saying I'd make for a year now. I want to have less of an agenda all of the time. I want my calendar to not have a dot on every single day of the month. I want to run farther and finally take a dance class. I want to spend another rainy day watching an entire season of a TV show in one go. I want to do things that give back to my community and to help friends on their projects. I am really excited for some of the projects and companies being created by my peers and am always down to lend my support in any way possible! So my biggest plan is to try to not plan so much but to continue to do a lot of the things that I love.  

What would you still like to learn?  

Another language, then another one. How to cook without freaking out that it’s all underdone. How to better handle feeling upset or stressed. How to shoot and edit video and how to work in After Effects. How to save money. How to find a cheap flight across the world. There’s an endless list of things I want to learn, try and experience and I hope I never reach the bottom of it.

Do you feel old or young?

I think I feel young overall but maybe I feel old for my age. With my birthday coming up, I have been wondering what my life will be like in the future - like in 5 years - but I can never really get past the fact that I will only be 30 and everything could be 100% different by then. I could have short hair and own a restaurant (secret desires)! So it’s not lost on me that I have a lot ahead of me yet, but I do find that for a 24 year old, I’m a bit of an old soul who likes to watch movies and drink wine and eat fun food over going "out”.

The backbone of this interview series is that 24 is a secretly really important year. What's the next secretly important year & why?