Light buzzing of the airplane’s engines fill the air as it flies us through the air to an unknown destination. My wonderful man has refused to tell me where we are currently flying to, ever the lover of surprising me.

The last five years have been the hardest but most rewarding of my life. After my relationship with Tom became public, my life changed overnight. Suddenly, everyone wanted to know who I was, where I came from, and everything that was happening in my life. My followers and book sales skyrocketed after the Late Late show which thrilled my publicist to no end. Every media outlet wanted to interview me and do a story of “the woman who snatched one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors.” I had interview after interview having to repeat our love story countless times for everyone who asked. It grew tiring but I was also exhilarated. I finally got the opportunity to boast about how amazing Tom truly was. The fans got a glance at the man behind the mask, so to speak.

Wherever I went, people would follow me and want to take pictures and ask me questions about Tom. At first it was overwhelming. There were a lot of difficult days following. Especially when I read the negative comments and reactions. I knew there would be and I tried to brace myself for the worst possible thing anyone could say about me but nothing could have prepared me for the real thing. Faceless people calling me a gold-digger among other comments on my appearance, saying I’m using Tom for fame and how we made up the story for publicity claiming that since I’m a writer I could “spin anything to make it sell.” It seemed to be never-ending. Every time I tried to focus on the positive, supportive people one of the negatives would pop up and ruin any sense of confidence I had built.

Tom would try and distract me from it as best as he could, but when he wasn’t physically there with me, nothing could shake the depression it would send me into.

After a few months, I had had enough. I disabled the comments on my Instagram posts and turned off all notifications for all social media. I no longer wanted the negativity to take over my life as it had.  It was also having an adverse effect on my relationship. That was our first hurdle that we faced together. He didn’t want to tell me what to do, knowing I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself no matter how much he wanted to protect me, but he finally drew the line. He made a statement on his social media, telling the fans he loves so much to stop with the outrageously false comments, to consider my feelings and how their words affect me when they start typing, and that if they weren’t going to be supportive of the woman he is choosing to spend his life with then they are not true fans of his. Following his statement was when I disabled everything. From that moment on, our relationship went back to how it was before we went public.

A pair of lips awoke me from my daydreaming. “How’s our littlest flier?” Tom’s baritone whisper invaded my ears but not disturbing the smallest passenger on the private plane.

I glance down at the sleeping 7 month old with my dark hair and Tom’s curls. “He’s sleeping like a champ as usual.”

He smiles proudly as he sits next to me, reaching for my hand. He plays with the rings that adorn my ring finger that he gave me 2 1/2 years and 1 1/2 years ago. “And how’s my beautiful wife?”

Memories of those two magnificent days always bring me the greatest joy.

Seeing him slowly go down on his knee in front of the fireplace at the Chalet, him declaring his “everlasting love” and how much his life has felt “more fulfilled since meeting me at the chalet,” how big of a surprise I’ve been to him, how much he’s loved every minute of our lives together, and how he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with me. The pure love and joy he exhibited on his face the moment I said yes will forever be etched in my mind, making me fall in love with him that much more than I already was.

Hearing the words “I do” in the most confident manner with the biggest smile on his gorgeous features will also remain a constant memory of one of the best days of my life. The tan suit he wore, the stunning dress that I still love to this day, the warm sand under our bare feet, the sun setting behind us as our family and our closest friends watched us begin the next chapter in our lives.

A kiss to the back of my hand brought me back to the present, “She is confused as to where her husband is taking all of us.” I raise my eyebrow in question towards him eliciting a chuckle from his lips.

“You trust me, darling?”

“You know I do.”

He squeezes my hand in affirmation, “Then will you please believe me when I tell you that you will not be disappointed?” He places another kiss on the back of my hand, ending this discussion in the most gentlemanly way possible. Damn him.

I decide to trust him as I have since the day we met, resting my head on his shoulder, careful not to wake our most precious gift and catch some much needed sleep before we land in who-knows-where.

Upon the pilot’s message about our upcoming decent, I was instructed to put on a blindfold by my husband, adding to the surprise he has in store for us. I was hesitant, skeptical of being robbed of my site for the time being but I trusted him enough to know he wouldn’t let anything bad happen.

He took an anxious Bobby and our gray cat Sadie out as soon as the door to the plane was opened and put them in the awaiting car. Listening to him coo at our son who was undoubtedly upset about being removed from my lap melted my heart. I wish I could have seen it instead of just heard it.

“Alright, my darling, your turn.” He guided me down the steps of the plane into the chilly atmosphere before he gently placed me into a car. He hopped into the drivers seat and we began the second leg of our journey.

The drive was peaceful. He had soft music playing so it wouldn’t wake up the baby in the back and he probably thought I would want to sleep a little more, too. I happily accepted the heaviness again, taking full advantage of not having to fuss over my son.

I was awoken by his soft whispers, “you can take the blindfold off now, darling.” I sat up in my seat before untying it. In front of the car, I see a gate. Tom sticks his arm out the drivers side window, inserting a key into a keyhole effectively opening the gate. I look around and see the bright snow covering everything around. As he drives through the gate, I recognize the area immediately.

“When did the Chalet install a gate?” I ask Tom who has a shit-eating grin on his beautiful weathered face.

“Actually…” He trails off as we pull up to the Chalet and into a brand new garage built off to the side.

“Is this why it was under construction for so long?” I exit the vehicle, putting Bobby on his leash and grabbing Sadie’s carrier before rounding the car to the side Liam is on. Tom is already working to take his car seat out. Tom had told me right before we got married that the Chalet was under construction and would be for a few years. It broke my heart to know we couldn’t go there for our honeymoon, but where we did go was the most wonderful experience. Malaysia, Australia, and Bora Bora… the most fun and relaxing three months of my life. It was a God-send after the stress of planning a wedding and reception. We had a small ceremony with just us, our family, and our closest friends followed by a big reception a week later inviting everyone we know for a night of fun.

Tom ushered us up to the front door, unlocking the door with another key.

“When did Sal give you a key?” was my last question before we entered the building. My jaw dropped. 

Everything looked completely different. There no longer was a front desk, but a foyer with benches and cubbies for coat hooks like a mud room. It opened up to the grand living room that Tom and I have made many memories from sitting together while reading and writing to when we sat by the fireplace after my midnight breakdown the night before to when he proposed to me right in this very spot. 

The view of the mountain below still took my breath away even after all of this time and the many visits we’ve paid since that first time. As I took in the room I loved, I noticed the small details that weren’t there before. Pictures of us- me and Tom- from our first time here to our wedding day and our first family of three photos, solo pictures of Bobby, Sadie, and Liam I’ve taken over the course of the last few years. 

I also noticed a few pieces of furniture that weren’t here before. A papasan chair was placed in the corner just like our home in London had. It’s the best place to sleep when I have a headache and Liam loves sleeping with me in it. There’s a picture of one of those occurrences hanging above it as to remind me of the first few weeks he was born.

Tom appeared next to me, having Liam in one arm, he wrapped the other arm around my waist pulling me closer and whispered in my ear, “Welcome home, baby.”

“Wait, what?” I gasped as the realization hit me. I turned to meet his eyes, “You bought it?!”

“Sal was looking to retire and I said I’d take it off his hands. He gave me a great deal considering we were his favorites.” He kissed me tenderly before pulling back again. “I wanted this to be our home; a place we raise our family, make memories in. What better way to unveil the finished renovations by bringing us all and spending the holidays here?”

I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist, squealing in excitement. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I could call this place “home.” It’s always been a home away from home. Every time I would have to leave, I’d feel like I was leaving a piece of myself behind. But my wonderful, thoughtful husband made it happen. He made this place that holds a special place in both of our hearts into our dream home where we will raise our son and our future children, where we will start family traditions that will be passed down to our children when they have children of their own, a place where our families can come together for the holidays, birthdays, and vacations… a place to call home.

“Do you approve?” He purrs into my ear.

“Do I approve?” I ask incredulously. I pull back to face him, “This is one of the best surprises I could have ever asked for.” I place a quick kiss on his lips. “Thank you.” I turn my attention to our beautiful son who was wide awake now, “did Daddy buy us a new home?” My baby voice came out, “did he?” I took possession of him, kissing his scrumptious chubby cheeks repeatedly. Tom chuckled at how ridiculous I sound but he’s gotten used to it now. “We’re going to be so happy here.”

Tom brings us on a tour to show me all that was done to make it work for us as a family home. Two of the rooms were combined to give us the most incredible master suite I’ve ever seen, including a spa-like master bathroom and a see-through fireplace that connects the two.

Two of the other rooms were redone into bedrooms for Liam and a future child with closets and their own bathrooms. Two other rooms was changed into guest suites for family or friends who want to come stay with us.

But the most amazing surprise out of all of this was the last room was my dedicated writing space. A serene room including a desk, a bookcase that contained all of my books and my unfinished works, cups filled with my favorite kinds of pens, plenty of loose-leaf printer paper, other notebooks I’ve yet to use, anything I could possibly use or need. The real kicker was in what looks like a wardrobe was a Murphy bed. I had always said that my ideal office would include a Murphy bed because I do my best writing in bed. I spend most nights up until the wee hours of the morning writing and I didn’t want to keep my future partner awake with my habit. I couldn’t wait to get started.

The kitchen was converted into a beautiful chef’s kitchen with quartz counter tops with a gorgeous chevron backsplash, normal-sized stainless steel appliances, white cabinets and cupboards and a banquette that was build into the large island that could fit our growing family. It opened up to the living room and dining room now which made the space seem so much bigger than it already is.

I could picture Tom at the stove, making breakfast for us on Saturdays while I watch from either the island or on the couch in the living room. I could imagine both of our families flying around the room busying themselves with whatever dish they were in charge of for the holidays. I see Tom and I enjoying quiet midnight snacks while sitting on the island or on the floor and mid-day food fights like we had during our first encounter.

The gym was also revamped and the laundry room was scaled down to accommodate a family instead of a hotel. It was all so perfect. It felt like a dream, but it wasn’t a dream. It was our new reality.

As we start this new chapter in our lives in Colorado with our little family, I can’t believe how my life has turned out…

In six years, I went from a single, aspiring writer who just released her first book going on a solo vacation for solitude and inspiration to a best-selling novelist, the wife of one of England’s finest gentleman who also happened to be one of my biggest celebrity crushes, and the mother of his unbelievably adorable son.

Never in a million years would I have thought this was where my life would end up after being stuck with him in a beautiful secluded Chalet. Our time in seclusion would be the catalyst for the ride of a lifetime. Half a dozen years later with a painful, but eye-opening year separation, five more published books and book tours for me, five movies and long press tours for him, a long awaited wedding plus reception, and a beautiful baby boy later… here we are in the same Chalet we met converted into our dream home with our son, dog, and cat. Life couldn’t be better.

The holidays in our new home were better than I expected. Our moms fussed over Liam as much as they possibly could when they weren’t concerned with cooking for all of us. When they weren’t all over him, Tom’s sisters were. It gave us some much-needed alone time in our brand new master suite. To say we took full advantage of our built-in babysitters was an understatement.

Thanksgiving came and went far too quickly. Our moms stayed after wanting as much time watching Liam discover something new every day and spoil him as much as they can since neither of us live close to our families with his in England and mine in the states. Our busy schedules don’t allow for us to see them as often as we’d both like. But ever since Liam was born, we’ve both taken tons of time off- no movies, no press tours, no auditions, no publication meetings- and we’ve gotten the opportunity to see them more.

By Christmas though, Tom and I were ready for it to be over so we could go back to our normal. We love our moms, more so now that we have our own child, but they were beginning to become “smothers.” Thankfully by Christmas Eve, Tom’s sisters were back and they could focus on more than just us. That night we decorated the tree with ornaments from our respective childhoods and the ornaments we made to commemorate Liam’s first Christmas and our first as a family of three. We drank cider and eggnog around the fireplace as we watched the snow fall, sharing stories of our favorite memories and our most memorable present. Christmas morning was full of excitement with our nieces and nephews tearing open their presents and Liam wanting nothing to do with his. For dinner my mom’s famous Swedish meatballs were made and devoured by everyone. Our family’s Jell-O dessert with strawberry Jell-O with strawberries added, whipped cream and pretzels was a big hit with the whole family, even Liam had a small taste and he continued to suck on Tom’s finger trying to get every last morsel of flavor. It truly was a day of merriment.

The next day the chaos had ebbed. We finally got back to our quiet household with our routine. We spend New Years Eve watching the fireworks through the multi-story, floor-to-ceiling windows. A picture perfect site made for the best New Years I had ever had.

By the time we were leaving in mid-January because Tom was due on set for his first movie after the baby, we discovered our family was going to gain another member.

When the holidays came around again, our daughter Julia was the apple of everyone’s eye who met her, completing our already-perfect family. She has Tom’s ginger locks and her blue-turning-green eyes are like mine but so much more to die for. She has the sweetest temperament, just like her brother. I can tell already that they completely adore each other. I can’t wait to watch Liam be the protective big brother I always wanted growing up. With a father like Tom, I know he will be the best man- sensitive, caring, soft- everything I love about him. Julia will be the most headstrong and stubborn woman just like me. For now though I’m good with them staying my babies.

As I sit in the papasan chair in the corner with my sweetest little girl sleeping in one arm, I have a pen in the other hand. Words were flowing out of me as if a levee had just given way. Finally getting some peace and quiet after the busy holiday season, I’ve had time to come up with an idea for my next book.

“I see some things never change.” I look to see the love of my life standing where the doorway used to be, where he said those exact same words to me after our year separation. This time however, he was holding our son on his hip, matching smiles on both of them. My handsome boys.

I can’t hide the smile that seems to be a constant on my face nowadays, “But would you really want them to?”

His smile grows bigger as he makes his way over to me, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss on my lips. He pulls back a hair and whispers, “Never,” in the huskiest tone instantly reminding me of the God of Mischief. 

I can’t help but giggle like a schoolgirl when he talks like that. This man still gives me butterflies even after all these years. He still makes my heart race every time he looks at me or touches me. I still get goosebumps when he tells me he loves me, which is multiple times a day. I still love him- I’m still IN love with him- even more than I was yesterday but less than I will be tomorrow. I sigh in complete and utter contentment.

Meeting at this Chalet was the best decision we both could have ever made. The blizzard that stranded us here was the best thing in the world that could have happened to us. I can’t wait to see what the next chapter of our lives has in store for all four of us.

.

the end.

.

The days dragged on at first. But after my book made it onto the Bestseller’s list, it got a little easier. Countless interviews were requested to find out the true identity of this illusive author, all were declined. Sure, this caused some controversy, calling me “a coward” and “a diva,” but my stance remained the same: I wanted to stay anonymous until all of the books in my series were released.

Yes, series. After the success of the first book, the sequel to one of the two endings I published was highly anticipated. Once I left the chalet last year, I started working on a prequel to the first book. With the sequel recently published, the prequel is now the main focus. The publishers may even want me to completely rewrite the first book but with the character from the prequel instead. It’s still just in talks. They want to see how well the prequel does before thinking about adding that book.

Days were easy, but nights… definitely were not. When I wasn’t writing, my thoughts consisted of only him. I wondered what he was doing or if he was missing me as much as I was missing him or if he had already moved on and forgotten about me. I did manage to stay away from his social media as hard as that was. I did see his last Marvel movie when it came out and have seen his new Loki series. They were both absolutely brilliant. I wouldn’t have expected anything less from him.

My feelings never lessened, only growing for him as my heart yearned for him. It all hurt at first knowing I wouldn’t see him every day, but after a few days, it turned into a dull ache. I tried to distract myself as much as possible with my writing, diving into a world I created to keep my mind from wandering to what he might be doing.

Which is why I am currently in a car, on the way to the chalet. My plane landed an hour ago and I’ve been a ball of nerves since the wheels touched down. As I made the familiar drive into the mountains, I could enjoy it this time. The sun was shining on the snow covered trees and it highlighted the road ahead. My knuckles were white against the black steering wheel. The winding roads through the mountains churned my stomach.

What if he’s not showing up? What if I’m the only one and I make a fool out of myself? What if I’m the only one who has been looking forward to this day? I’ve been counting down the days ever since I left. I always knew I would come back. From the second I made the decision, I knew I would be back. I had only hoped that his mind wouldn’t have changed.

I finally pulled up to the chalet, this time seeing multiple cars parked out front. Entering through the front door, the same feeling of home washed over me as I take in the same modern interior as a huge contrast to the log cabin look on the exterior.

“Miss Borosi! So nice to see you back here!” The owner greeted from the desk. “Are you planning on staying? I can have your room prepared for you.”

“Oh no, that’s okay. I don’t know if I’ll be staying yet, but I will let you know as soon as I do. Thank you.” I made my way into the living room where I planted my butt and waited. I waited for an hour before I asked the owner if I could make something to eat in the kitchen. He said I am more than welcome to it, letting his chef know that I’ll be in there as well.

I tried to stay out of his way while I made two grilled cheese sandwiches, adding bacon and pickles, with a smile on my face. I thought about when we made these for the first time. We had just met that day, but it seemed like we had already known each other for years. I remember the way his eyes lit up when he tried it, vowing never to go back to a plain grilled cheese. I remember how after that he had asked me about my writing and had been genuine about his curiosity; how at that moment I wanted to kiss him so badly, but didn’t because I didn’t know how he would have reacted, only to have him kiss me on the last night… and slowly but surely I fell in love with him… so much so that I am willing to get my heart shattered if he doesn’t show up.

“I see some things never change.”

My shoulders slump and my head drops in reprieve. My chest feels like a huge weight has been lifted, I can hardly believe I can breathe again.

I turn around to see Tom, the man I’m so hopelessly in love with, leaning against the doorway. As badly as I want to launch into his arms, he chose those words for a reason. I had to play along. “What are you doing here?” I ask back.

He shrugs, “I’m in town.” How is it possible for him to look even better than the last time I saw him but also the exact same? His eyes held the same mischief I’ve come to love seeing in his films.

As I took in the rest of him, I felt my throat tighten and my eyes start to sting. After one whole year of wondering if he would show up, after worrying about him possibly moving on and forgetting about me… he’s here.

“Is this real?” I ask, a sob escaping.

“God, I hope so.” He utters.

In a second, we’re in each other’s arms and his lips attach to mine as if no time had passed. He kissed down my jaw to my neck where he buried his face, gripping me tighter to him.

I run my fingers through his hair, basking in the feeling of being with him again. “Tom?”

He withdrew, smiling down at me. “Yes, my love?”

I stare into his baby blues that were looking at me with so much love and happiness, I feel like I could explode. “Thomas William Hiddleston,” he giggles, filling my stomach with butterflies, “I love you.” I finally confess. “For years, I only dreamed of telling you those three words. Having a crush on a man I never thought in a million years would ever give me a second look is so much different than being head over heels in love with the most kind-hearted, funny, polite, charismatic, attractive, caring, sympathetic, unique man I’ve ever met who also happens to be the man of my dreams.”

His lips captured mine again, groaning into my mouth before pulling away. “Darling, I’ve loved you from the second I saw you singing and dancing while cooking in this very kitchen. You captured my heart before I even knew your name.”

I knew from that moment on that we’ll be more than alright. If this separation didn’t weaken- but strengthen how we feel for each other, then we can get through anything life throws at us. We can figure anything out if we have that head over heels, my heart is yours and yours mine, can’t live without you, want to spend the rest of my life by your side, heart-pounding, staggered-breathing, knee-trembling, soul-freeing kind of love that you usually read about in books...

epilogue...

White.

Bright light coming in all directions.

Thick blankets coat the world around, freezing it all in time.

Cotton balls of ice crystals breeze by creating a shield, blinding the sight of any fool who dared to venture out.

“That is the last time I rely on you for checking the weather.” I scold my agent as I’m unsure of where exactly I am at the moment. She mistakenly watched the forecast for the week AFTER my vacation at the chalet this fool is currently trying to find. I shouldn’t have counted on her info without double-checking it myself first. I trust her wholeheartedly with my newfound career as an author, but she isn’t the most reliable on other things.

“How many times do I have to say ‘I’m sorry?’ My mind was preoccupied with planning this book release that you’ve been working towards for years. It kind of fogged out the less important details.” She apologized, but a lot of good that’s doing. Thankfully I had enough common sense to rent a vehicle with all-wheel drive in case this was to happen.

The resort I booked my vacation at is secluded and quaint, only a few rooms available at a time. The pictures on their website paint a relaxing atmosphere of a log cabin with stone floors and fireplace, busts of different wild game tastefully scattered on the walls, and warm textured rugs creating a beautiful rustic feel. Every inch whispers “I’m home.” It’s one of the many reasons why I chose this place. I wanted a carefree time away somewhere cold, not much caring for the beach. I prefer sweatshirts over bikinis, blankets over towels, hot chocolate over coconut drinks, and fireplaces over bonfires.

After what felt like hours, I managed to survive the drive and finally reach my destination. Only two other cars were parked out front which was comforting, knowing I won’t have many people to deal with. I parked near the front, only guessing where the lines were. The parking lot was already covered with at least an inch of snow, showing no sign of stopping anytime soon.

Stumbling through the door, I was greeted by warmth. The stone fireplace is in plain sight, warming the ever-cold guests as they enter. I get lost in the décor as I match the pictures with everything I’ve seen so far. I’ve been staring at all of them daily, my excitement to finally get here not giving me any self-control. The beautiful gray stone on the floors gives the log cabin a more modern feel, but still cozy thanks to the rugs.

 “Ah! You must be my last guest.” An older man, maybe mid-50s greeted me from behind a desk with a live-edge wood countertop. “I’m glad you made it before the brunt of the storm.” He typed on his computer before handing me the key to my room, even carrying my bags for me. “You are welcome to anything in our top of the line kitchen and all of the amenities we offer. Fresh towels are in the linen closets in your room, as are any extra toiletries you may need. The wi-fi password is on your bedside table and TV remotes are in the top drawer of that table.”

He rattled off a few more things before concluding, “Now due to the blizzard, I won’t be staying here. If you are to need anything else, my cell phone number is listed on the phone.” He stopped at the doorway but turned back, “There is one other man staying here who is wanting to leave tomorrow, but from the looks of it, he won’t be leaving anytime soon.” He sent me a friendly smile. “Please enjoy your stay.” And with that, he took his leave, leaving me to my own devices.

day one...

“Stop eating the carrot! We need a nose!” I scolded Tom, shaping the mound in front of me. He took another bite to spite me before stuffing it into the head of our snowman.

This morning, Tom was in a pleasant mood. He decided to knock on my door, get on his knees and sing “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” The laughter that erupted from me would have awoken everybody had there been anyone else here. He was just so cute. He had all of his winter gear on, including a knitted hat with a poof ball on top, his black pea coat, snow boots, and gore-tex gloves. He looked so cozy and warm and just so darn cute, I couldn’t say no. We gathered supplies for dressing our specimen before finally stepping outside. The snow was perfect for snowman making and there was plenty of it.

“I can’t help it,” He whines. “We really should have eaten something before we came out here.”

“Oh yeah? And whose fault is that? Mr. ‘We have to go outside now!’” I mocked him as he was while I was getting ready. He was so pushy! I was under the impression he was a “patient” man. Apparently that is completely disregarded when it comes to making a snowman.

“Can you blame me for being excited? I haven’t built a snowman since I was a child! I didn’t want to miss the perfect opportunity.”

Despite my eye roll, I couldn’t condemn him for it. I also haven’t done this for quite some time which is why I was all for it when he asked and didn’t fight him when he rushed me. Thankfully I packed gloves, a hat, and warm enough boots to withstand the cold just in case.

Whack!

Something hard hit me in the middle of the back. I turn and gape at this mischievous man who was tossing a ball of snow between both hands. A smirk plastered on his face as he watched me through his eyelashes over the top of his glasses. He was doing his best to channel Loki in this moment. Embracing the God of Mischief must be second nature for him after playing him for so long. I can only imagine what he does to get into a character that is a complete 180° from who he really is.

“Did you just throw a snowball at me?” I incredulously asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically at him. If he wants to start a war, he will lose. I played softball for six years and can throw a mean ball. He will regret this.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “So what if I did?” In a second he went from mischievous to playful. The glint in his eyes sparkled in the bright light.

“Then you would be starting a war you are guaranteed to lose.”

Snowballs of all shapes and sizes flew and smashed when they came into contact with body parts, laughter and screeches filled the air, dusts of snow were kicked up as we ran from the other, dodging what was thrown at the other. It was loosely tossed in the other’s face and shoved down the other’s back. It was all fun and games until someone was pelted in the face so hard that glasses went flying off.

Tom fell to the ground instantly, disorienting him enough to lose his footing. I, on the other hand, folded over in laughter with my knees nearly giving out on me. I made my way over to him, trying so hard to breathe through it, but I ended up collapsing in front of him, finally giving into my weak knees. We lay in the snow, cackling at the other, basking in the moment. The second we would stop laughing, we would start back up again. Embarrassingly enough, a few snorts came from my nose to which ignited more hearty laughter from both parties. Tears fell from both our eyes, nearly freezing against our cheeks.

Several minutes passed, the laughter had died down. Silence having filled the air now as we both lay still on our backs, staring up at the gray sky, minuscule snowflakes dusting our faces.

“Hey Jen?” He broke the silence. I hummed back. “You win.”

I sighed in contentment. “I told you I would.”

He chuckles at my smug response before finally peeling himself off the ground. When he leaned down to give me a helping hand, I noticed a red streak just on the edge of his eyebrow.

“Oh my God, you’re bleeding!” His hand flew up to his cut, flinching when he came in contact with it. I started apologizing profusely, adding “I wanted to win, but not like that.”

We retreated inside finding a first aid kit behind the front counter. Being guilt-ridden, I insisted on patching him up, not taking no for an answer. He sat on the couch while I stood behind it so I could assess the damage. Once the blood was cleaned off, it turns out it wasn’t too bad. A piece of ice must have just scraped him.  Easy enough, right?

Wrong. Fixing him was easy, but I quickly found myself losing focus, getting lost in his handsome face, admiring the little details that not a lot of people get the chance to see. Oh how badly I wanted to trace the scar on his forehead that he received a few years ago from running into a stage door. The only imperfection I see in site. I took note of his jealousy-inducing eyelashes any woman would pay big bucks for. Knowing they shield his swoon-worthy blue eyes makes them treasured by many. His ginger lock that beg for fingers to run through them have hints of blond that no one would see unless in the sunlight or up close. My curiosity to see how soft they are nearly takes over my sense of reason.

Thank God he closed his eyes so he can’t see my ogling.

“Will I live?” He asked looking up at me after I finished.

“I think the odds are in your favor.” I patted his shoulder signaling he could get up if he so chooses. “Although, it might leave a gnarly scar, but hey, at least you’ll have a new story to tell.”

“I don’t know which story is more embarrassing: running into a door or getting hit in the face with a snowball.” He chuckled, shaking his head at himself.

“Oh now I’ve got to hear this story.” I plopped myself on the couch, eagerly awaiting him to continue. We were both laughing in no time at all as he animatedly told the story, also going into his lesser known scar stories. We eventually relocated to the kitchen, both of us starving for some sustenance. After he finished his stories, we moved onto mine. They weren’t nearly as entertaining, but he listened with the same enthusiasm as I had his.

It was then I realized just how easy it was to talk to him. He is quite literally the easiest person to talk to. I feel like I could talk to him about anything and everything. I could tell my deepest and darkest secret without any fear of judgment from him. I could tell him all of my fears and insecurities, and he would be there to tell me “it’ll all be okay,” that I’m not crazy for having such thoughts. He would be the shoulder I could cry on if I need it… I could trust him.

Dear God, that’s scary. Trust does not come easy for me. I’ve been burned by so many people I have put my trust in before that I just don’t trust anyone new in my life. Only a few select people get that luxury. My heart wants to add Tom to that short list, but my head is arguing with it, being the voice of reason. If nothing comes from this week, I’ll always be thankful to him for showing me I can let someone in and it’ll all be okay in the end…

Later that night when we had said goodnight, I received a call from one of my best friends.

“So how’s vacation? Still pissed you went without me.” I chuckled at her bitterness. If she could have gotten off work, she would have been here with me, experiencing all that is Tom. a.k.a. #1 on her list. We’ve talked implicitly and explicitly about what we would do if we ever had Tom as our own. When I eventually tell her, she will flip.

“Well,” I started, trying to come up with the best way to explain it all without giving away the most important detail. “The solitude I wanted has been compromised.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say the only alone time I’ve had is at night.” I was hoping by being extremely vague that by some miracle she would get it. She knew of my plans to lock myself in my room from the second I got here to the second I left. She was looking forward to the same thing if she were to come along.

“Who have you been spending the days with?” She asked, catching on.

“His name is Will.” I knew just by giving those small details, she would understand.

“And you’re just telling me this now? What’s he like?” She fired a million other questions to which I stayed silent.

“I can’t say much, but just know he’s the best person I’ve ever met and I will give you full details when I get home.” After she made me promise at least ten times to tell her everything the second I get back, she was satisfied and we ended the conversation at that.

She is going to kill me when I tell her the truth.

I shrugged at the thought. At least I’ll die knowing I had met the most amazing man there ever was or ever will be.

Lying on my bed after gathering my supplies, I tried to get back to my piece, re-reading it to return to the mindset. I stare at my words in my familiar scribble unable to come up with what to do next. The worst part about being a writer is writer’s block. Not being able to do what you want or being able to put to paper what you have in your head is beyond frustrating. It’s comparable to a doctor not being able to help a patient or a mechanic not being able to find the problem with a car. Not being able to do your job is both annoying and infuriating. It is especially when the reason I came here was to get inspired, and possibly start something new. I did begin something, thanks to Tom’s suggestion, but haven’t been able to get back to it since I stopped last night. Despite him saying he believed in me, I just couldn’t think of anything to write. No matter how many times I would re-read it all, nothing came to me. Nothing.

The only thing that did occupy my mind was him and the way he looked at me just outside my door. Such intensity and curiosity, I had to stop myself from launching at him. Every fiber of my being wanted to latch my lips to his, to feel them capture mine like I’ve seen his do with multiple co-stars. Would they be strong or like pillows? How would his beard feel against my face? Would he moan or sigh as they connected? Or would he pull away before that would even happen? Would he say I was being inappropriate and apologize for making me think otherwise?

Whatever the outcome might have been, it didn’t occur. Dwelling on the past helps no one. I need to get a grip and channel my frustration into writing.

Doing so actually helped me continue, my pen flying across the pages well into the wee hours of the morning. Getting lost in a story is my favorite part of creating. It’s only a hope that the reader gets just as lost. The next thing I knew the sun was peeking through the curtains and the smell of coffee invaded my nostrils from downstairs.

Wow. I haven’t pulled an all-nighter like this since college… I am not going to be any fun today.

I left off on a cliffhanger to inspire me when I return to it later. I had fully planned on just sliding everything to one side of the bed and crashing, but then I smelled bacon.

day three...

“One year from today, we meet back at the chalet if we still feel the same.” He says to me, tightly holding onto my hand. We’re standing inside the airport, already passed security. Our respective flights are on opposite ends of the terminal so we have to part ways here.

“One year from today.” I repeat back, committing the date to memory. I was having a very hard time trying to swallow back the tears that were threatening to come out. I had cried all of the previous night thinking about not seeing him after today. I didn’t want him to see that this was killing me on the inside, but I wasn’t doing a very good job.

“Darling, look at me.” My lip quivers at his plead. I take a deep breath before meeting his eyes for the first time today. They were brimming with tears, mirroring mine. “Look after my heart, for I’m,” a heavy tear fell from his left eye, “for it belongs to you now.”

I drop my backpack, throwing my arms around his neck. “Mine has been yours long before this and will be until you say otherwise,” I whisper back. The tears spill over as I soak up possibly the last time I’ll ever be in his arms. His grip tightens around me, feeling his breathing become uneven. We stay this way for what feels like hours, neither one of us wanting to let go. 

I pull back slightly to find his cheeks wet and eyes red. I lean forward bringing my lips to his, hoping it relays all of the emotions I wish I could express.

We pull apart far too soon for either of us, resting our foreheads together. “Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar: but never doubt I love.” He whispers, speaking back the words I tried to tell him with the kiss.

We kiss one more time before we part. I look back at his retreating figure as a new wave of tears starts to build. As if he feels my stare he pauses, looking back too. Even from here I can see the tears he has. We nod and finally, walk away.

After hours on the plane, I finally arrived back home. I flopped on my bed, feeling numb from all of the crying I’ve done within the last 24 hours. My mind immediately goes to Tom. I wonder where he is now. Was he on his way back to London or did he have to go to LA? Was he thinking about me? Was he hurting as much as I was?

It’s at this time I wish we had swapped numbers but I remind myself of why we didn’t. One year with no contact… what the hell was I thinking?

I unfollowed him on all social media while waiting for the plane to take off. The only reminders of this trip were the numerous pictures I took of him throughout the week, some without his knowledge. I placed those in a hidden file so I wouldn’t be tempted to look at them every day for the next 365 days.

I call my best friend and tell her I’m back. She comes right over hearing the distress in my voice. I tell her everything once she gets to my place. As predicted, she flipped out once I told her the true identity of “Will,” but then she calmed down once I told her about the heartbreaking end to it. She understood where I was coming from, given we’ve only known each other for a week. This isn’t “The Bachelor.” We may have strong feelings now, but things change once we’re out in the real world. She commends me for being strong and then offers to stay the night so we can mourn properly with Chinese food, rom-coms, and alcohol. I couldn’t be more grateful for her friendship than right now. I’m definitely going to need it…

A couple weeks go by, I’m sitting on my couch writing when she calls me. “Dude, I know you’re not really supposed to keep tabs on him but as your best friend I have. And I say you need to look up ‘The Late Late show’ from last night. Tom talks about you.”

Instantly I turn on my laptop and search for it. I click on the video from a few hours ago and watch. I see Tom sitting on the rounded couch with two other celebrities that are irrelevant to me at the moment. He looks as amazing as ever. He’s in a signature suit that he wears so well. He thanks the audience for the love before him and James start talking.

“So, Thomas?” James starts, focusing on him first.

“Yes, sir?” Tom answers, fidgeting with his suit jacket.

“I heard you went on vacation recently, you lucky bastard.”

“I did, yes.” He nods. “I was at a little chalet in Aspen for two weeks.”

“Why in the world would you go there? You’re supposed to go somewhere warm for vacation. Aspen is cold! Didn’t they just get a huge blizzard there? I heard they got like a foot of snow.” 

Tom chuckled, “Yes they did. I was originally only going to be there for a week, but thanks to the blizzard, I had to extend my stay for another. A second guest and I were stuck there alone for the latter portion.”

“It was just the two of you?” James asks. He nods. “What did you guys do for all of that time?”

“We had a lot of fun. We cooked, we read, she wrote-“

“She?” James shamelessly interrupts. The audience “ooh-ed” at the mention of a female. “The other guest was a female?” He asked for everyone.

Tom nervously chuckled, poking his tongue out the way he does. “Yes, she was. We spent the entire week relaxing, having fun, and getting to know one another. She’s a very special woman, one of the strongest women I’ve had the pleasure of meeting.” My heart actually felt happy for the first time since we parted. I can’t believe he’s even talking about me. He’s known for being tight-lipped about anyone new in his life; only vowing to tell people when there was something massive to tell.

“Are you going to see her again?”

“God, I hope so.” Tom blurts out with a big smile on his face.

“Oooh Thomas!” He teases, slapping Tom’s knee with his note cards, cueing the audience to laugh. “Do you have a crush on this girl?- You’re blushing so hard right now!” He points out as Tom’s cheeks have indeed added a slight pink hue to them.

“Erm,” he hesitates letting out a sigh, “yes James, I do. Very much so.”

My hand flies to my mouth, amazed at his confession. He’s telling the world he has a crush on me. Even if no one knows it’s me, it’s still monumental for him.

“Oh my gosh! I can’t believe this!” James freaks. “Does she know?”

“She does, yes. I told her before we parted.”

“And what happened?” James pried.

“And we agreed to take some time to think about if this is really what we want. It had only been a week, we wanted to make sure we weren’t just infatuated with what we had while secluded in our own little world. We made a pact to meet back at the chalet in a year if we both still feel the same. If we both show, which I hope happens, we’ll figure it out. If not, then we have our answer.”

“This is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard!” James shrieked, bouncing in his chair. “Have you been in contact with her since?”

“Unfortunately, no. That was one of the restrictions she came up with. No contact until then.”

“What if she’s watching tonight? Is there something you’d like to say to her?” 

“There are loads of things I wish I could say to her, but I think I’ve already shared too much.” James egged him on to say something, telling him this might be his only chance to do so. So, he took it. “The one thing I will say is…” He paused, trying to think of the best thing to say. He looked straight into the camera as if he was looking right at me. “Darling, I never should have let you walk away from me that day in the airport. That was probably the worst decision I could have ever made.” His hands covered his heart. “I’ve felt utterly lost ever since. I sincerely hope I will see your magnificent smile again soon.”

I had to wipe a tear away as I closed my laptop, shocked at what I just watched. Tom talked about me on national television, no doubt it’s going viral right now and the Hiddlestoners are going crazy over their idol talking about liking someone publicly.

My one and only hope is he still feels this way in a year. 

I have to remind myself, “Whatever will be, will be.” I have to have faith that everything will work out in the end, no matter what the outcome. I just need to not think about it and focus on my next book and living my life for the next year. 

Someone once said, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, you know it was meant to be. If not, it wasn’t.” I hope they were right…

one year later...

My room phone woke me up the next morning. My hand flailed around the table, trying to find it without opening my eyes. When it found something that felt like a phone, I yanked it to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, Miss Borosi!” Even in the fog of sleep, I still recognized the voice to be the man that greeted me on the first day. “I wanted to call to let you know the plows will be by tonight to clear the road up here and I will be down with the bobcat to clear the parking lot so you and Mr. Hiddleston can be on your way tomorrow morning. I want to thank you for your patience and hope you have a wonderful last night.” He hung up after that, leaving me to process what he just said.

The plows are coming tonight. We can leave tomorrow. This dream of a vacation will be over. Tom and I will go our separate ways, possibly never seeing each other again… 

I knew this day was coming, but I didn’t think it would come this quickly. And we haven’t even talked about if we want to stay in contact after this. I know I would. After what happened last night, he might want to too.

But the nagging question I have now is how much could we even be in each other’s lives? He will be busy nonstop with all of his projects coming up, having no personal time in between. He will be traveling around the world for months on end, going to event after event, promoting. How would he even have time to do anything but that? And if my book takes off, I’ll need to get started on my next idea and focus solely on that for as long as it takes… How could we make anything work?

When I left my room shortly after wallowing, I couldn’t find Tom anywhere. I knocked on his door, nothing. He wasn’t in the kitchen, the living room, or the gym. It wasn’t until I was about to go back to my room when I heard some ruckus outside. I wrapped one of the blankets from the living room around my shoulders before I cracked open the front entrance.

There he was, with his back to me, shoveling the sidewalk in front of the chalet. What stood out against all of the white were two cars that had previously been buried under a mountain of snow. He had also cleared a perimeter around each of the cars so they could get out easier.

He must have gotten the same call I did this morning. So being the gentleman he is, he decided to clear off both of our cars and clear most of the snow out for us. God this guy… I seriously can’t even believe he’s real.

I closed the door back up and returned to the kitchen. I filled the kettle with water and set it on the stove. He’ll be frozen by the time he comes in so the least I could do is make him some hot tea to warm him up again. I also started the coffee machine so he would also have a choice of warm beverage.

In the meantime, I heat up some of the leftover egg bake from yesterday and find a spot at the table. My mind is preoccupied with ideas of my next book concept, jotting down a few down in a small notebook I like to carry around until I hear the door open.

“Darling?” He calls out having smelled the coffee being made.

“Dining room.” I answer back, finishing my point before I felt two frozen hands press into my neck. A very unattractive noise came out of my mouth as I cringed. “Not cool!” I cry when he withdrew.

“Sorry love. I saw an opportunity and I had to take it.” He disappeared into the kitchen with a huge grin on his gorgeous red face. Oh how much I’m going to miss seeing that face right away in the morning…

He joined me a short time later after making himself some soft boiled eggs and toast. I gagged when he dipped the toast in the runny yolk. The smile that came on his face showed just how much he enjoyed it.

“So, you got the call?” He asked after he’d finished. I nodded unable to think of what to say. He nodded back, seeming like he didn’t really know what to say either. He got up, coming behind me. He kissed my cheek. “I’m going to take a shower. Thank you for the tea and coffee.”

“Thank you for clearing off my buried car.”

The rest of the day was very solemn. We didn’t do or talk much. We just laid on the couch, enjoying the others company while we still can. I’ve noticed throughout the week that we don’t need to do much to have a good time. The simple things bring the most peace and joy. It’s nice to find someone who is the same as I am.

I excused myself to take a shower after he told me to go put on the nicest clothes I’d packed. He also instructed me not to come out until he came to get me. I reluctantly did as he said, although I was curious to know what he had planned. I laid out my favorite forest green long sleeve, leggings, and a pair of brown boots before jumping in the shower. 

As I waited for him to knock on my door, I sat reading over everything I wrote over this vacation. It was honestly the best work I had ever done. Maybe it’s because this short story feels more personal than anything I’ve ever written. I put more of myself in this than I do with anything else. I based her reaction off of what mine would be if I were in that situation. My feelings of love towards him and that loss I would feel if I ever lost it…

Damn it.

I fell back onto my bed. Did I really feel that way? I mean, I knew I was extremely attracted to him and had a great admiration towards him before this, and slowly after getting to spend time with him and getting to know the real him, they turned into real feelings… but there’s no way they progressed that much within a week… no. No way.

Then why does my stomach feel like a giant knot when I think about leaving without him?

Ugh. Stop.

I tried to busy my mind with doing my make-up and blasting music in my bathroom while doing so. It helped for a while. You know until I heard the three knocks on the door.

My heart both dropped and wanted to explode when I opened the door. He stood there with his hands behind his back dressed in a simple navy suit with a white shirt, and dress shoes. Well I sure feel underdressed… 

He took a moment to take in my appearance. I shifted nervously as he did so. “Evening, love.” He greeted. “You look absolutely stunning.” He held out his hand for me. When I placed it in his, he brought it to his lips. “Would you care to join me for dinner?”

I couldn’t hold back a nervous laugh. “What, what is going on?”

“Close your eyes.” He instructed.

I hesitated before doing so. He kept his hand on mine that was on his arm and told me when to take the steps. We walked into the dining room before he stopped me. “Okay, you can open them now.”

What I opened my eyes to was probably the most romantic sight I’ve ever seen. All of the other tables and chairs were moved out of the room, leaving only one set up in the middle. The whole room was lit up with candles that were scattered around the room. A bottle of champagne and two flutes were sitting on the table as well as two place settings. The only things missing were rose petals but I’m actually glad there aren’t any. It would have been too much.

“What is all of this for?” I ask amazed he went through all of this trouble.

His hand intertwined with mine, bringing it to his lips again. “I think it’s about time I treated you to a proper date.”

A… date?

I couldn’t find the words to express how shocked I am. He worked all day to create this for me. He wants our last night together in this chalet to be special. How in the world did I deserve this?

“Now if you could please take your seat, I will go get the first course.” He whispered in my ear before pushing my chair in.

“First course?!” I exclaimed. I turned to protest, but he had already disappeared into the kitchen.

After a simple Caesar salad course and a delicious breaded Chicken Cordon Bleu with a Dijon cream sauce, roasted potatoes, and steamed broccoli, I was stuffed. I thanked the Lord I was wearing leggings instead of anything more restricting. I felt a stuffed at the chicken was. I would have been embarrassed if he hadn’t already seen me scarf down many, many meals already.

“Don’t get too comfortable, darling. We still have dessert.” He grabbed our clean plates to bring them to the kitchen.

“Dessert? You’re kidding me right? I don’t think I could eat anymore!” I lean against the table as I usually do when I’m literally too full to support myself.

“Oh but sweetheart, you will want this dessert.” He disappeared again into the kitchen. I heard some preparations being done but I glued my butt to the chair, so full I couldn’t move.

“Could you close your eyes for me again, love?” He yelled from the other room.

“Ugh, fine. So mysterious.” Using my hands to cover my eyes, I eagerly anticipate what he had in mind. I hear something be placed in front of me, feeling his presence behind me, his warm hands finding my shoulders, and his lips to my ear. “Open.”

I gasped as I took in what was in front of me. The most beautiful brownie was sitting in a bowl, topped with vanilla ice cream that was slowly melting. I told him days ago that my favorite dessert ever was a warm brownie with vanilla ice cream. And since then, I have been craving it. How is that he knows what I want without me actually having to say it?

“I think I just found room in my hollow leg.” I retracted my earlier statement. He chuckled before returning to his seat to enjoy his dessert as well. The brownie was perfectly warm with so many chocolate chunks and the chilled vanilla ice cream… oh God, it was heavenly. I was disappointed when I’d finished, but completely satisfied.

“This has been the best way to end the most amazing vacation I’ve ever taken.” I stated as I leaned back on the table.

“It’s not over yet.” He proclaimed, getting up once again. He took our dishes into the kitchen before returning with a glass in his hand. He set it in the middle of the table before slipping his phone out of his pocket. He fiddled with it before setting it into the glass. “On the first day we met, I heard you singing along to this in the kitchen. From that point on, you mesmerized me. I knew I had to dance with you to this song at least once while we were here in order to come full circle.”

Familiar piano notes filled the room, flooring me. I gaped at him incredulously. This was one of my favorite songs at the moment.

“May I have this dance?” He asked, holding his hand out to me. Even though he knows my dancing skills are atrocious, I’d be an idiot to decline.

We slow-danced around the room like we had created our own world; circling around the room completely entranced in the other. He pulled me to him, I held onto his shoulder and his hand for dear life. I felt his large hand caressing my back, holding me to him as we moved. He’d spin me and dip me at the perfect moments of the song, always bringing me back as close as possible. Our eyes never left the others.

During a break in the song, it was like the world paused. He had spun me out again, holding on to my hand as a lifeline. We gazed at each other and suddenly the world shifted… Something in him shifted.

His lips crashed into mine just as the music continued. The best way I could describe it would be through the lyrics of the song we’re currently listening to. My body felt like it was on fire like a thousand suns and I couldn’t burn it out even if I wanted to. His soft lips moved against mine with so much passion, my knees gave out. His arms wrapped around my body, keeping it locked against his. Mine found his neck, gripping him so tightly, I was afraid if I did this would all be a dream.

All too soon we pulled apart, but not before giving me one final lingering kiss. The kind of kiss I found it hard to open my eyes again. I felt his lips at my ear, whispering in my ear the last line of the song, “I’ve got a Hunger in me.”

He cradled my face again, bringing our eyes back together. “If I told you, you held my heart in your hands, would you believe it to be true?” He looked into my soul, conveying every sense of the truth.

My hands found his lapels, tugging his chest closer. I rested my forehead against it and took a few deep breaths. My heart was racing at his words. There is no way he would say that if he didn’t mean it. He’s not the type of person who just says things to say them. I know I believe him. He holds mine, too. He has since before I met him…

But I honestly don’t know how we would make anything work. All of last night, I tried to think of every option we would have after tomorrow. Would we even make it in the real world? It’s been just us for a week. We haven’t had to worry about anything but spending time together.

When would we ever be able to see each other? He’s got a million things to do in the next year and it’s bound to be more as time goes on. He’ll be traveling the world and I’ll still be in the Midwest. I’ll have to be focused on my next book or else I could be in deep trouble with my publisher.

But even I know I could write from anywhere. It’s not like I have to stay in one place to write…

Even if I did go with him to everything, what would I be doing all day if I’m not writing? Sitting in a hotel room while he’s off doing his job? Literally waiting for him to come back and having him exhausted from working, he more than likely won’t want to even do anything after that. I’ll be alone. What kind of life would that be?

I’m not saying it wouldn’t be fun to travel with him. Traveling with him would be a dream come true. He could show me a whole new world that I’d never be able to see otherwise. But he’ll be working. He won’t have much downtime, therefore, not a lot of time we could spend together.

I don’t see a solution to this where we come out of this unscathed.

I look back up at him; I look into the eyes of the man of my dreams. The man that has made me feel more loved than I have in a very long time, even when I thought I didn’t deserve it. He has changed my life… 

The words that come out of my mouth I never thought I would say. “What are we doing?” I croak out, my voice cracking.

The look on his face broke my heart. His eyes lose hope, his smile fades, and his shoulders lose some of their sturdiness… God I feel horrible.

“I don’t understand.” He shook his head slightly.

“I believe every word you’ve ever said to me. You’ve made me feel things I never thought I would feel again. You’ve let me be myself without any judgment and I could never thank you enough for that.” I sighed, looking down at my fidgeting hands, wanting nothing more than to thread them through his. “But out there, I just don’t see how we could work.” I tried to walk him through everything that had been on my mind. With every word I could feel my heart break more and more.

“But darling, I-”

My hand flew up to his lips so quickly, I didn’t think I could move that fast. “Please, don’t.” I beg. If he says what I think he was going to say, it would 100% change my mind. I’ve already thought of a plan though... “I have a proposition.”

“I’m all ears.” He eagerly answered when I removed my hand. He immediately took it in his and held it close to his chest. I could feel his heavily beating heart through the back of my hand. He was just as scared as I was about this, but I knew this was the right thing to do.

“Hear me out,” I start. “I think we should go back to our lives. You go back to being the amazing actor and the even better human being that I know you to be and I’ll go back to being an anonymous writer.”

“So far, I’m not liking this plan of yours.” He interrupted, gently squeezing my hand.

“Please let me finish.” He nods before I continue, “We go back. We have no contact. No following on social media, no exchange of numbers- nothing.” I could see him beginning to protest so I quickly kept going, “And then after a year, if we still feel the same way we do today, we meet back here.” This seemed to spark something in him. I could see the hope slowly returning to his eyes.

“Obviously the ideal situation would be that we both come back. If that happens then we’ll figure it out. Because if we can go a year without speaking and still feel the same as we did after only knowing each other for a week, then we can get through just about anything.” I would love to say I’m an optimist and say I know we would both come back. Thinking about how remarkable it would feel to finally be back together after a year of yearning… but I’m not a positive thinker. It’s better than thinking of the alternative. I couldn’t imagine coming here again thinking he would show up only for him to not… “If only one of us comes back or no one shows up at all, then we have an answer and we move on.” As I say this out loud, my heart drops. 

He looks away from me, down at our hands, his thumb running up and down mine. I see the wheels turning in his head as he’s thinking about it. He enfolded me in his arms, his hand held my head gently massaging the spot. He takes a few deep breaths as I hear his heartbeat slow a little. He kisses my temple before speaking, “I still don’t like it…” He trails off, “but I think that’s fair.”

I sincerely hope I don’t regret that decision...

last day...

To say these past two years have been hard would be an understatement. After we met up again, we stayed for the rest of the week to talk and figure out the most important details of this relationship we were entering into. Many hours of serious talks and making up for lost time, we jetted off and have been together ever since.

Being with him has been the most challenging but rewarding time of my life. I’ve also never been so terrified of losing someone before so I try and spoil him as often as I can to show him I appreciate him. After a long day of filming, I have a home-cooked meal ready for him as well as a cup of his favorite tea. I give him shoulder and back rubs if he’s stressed. Small gestures to show him how crazy I am about him.

Tom has also treated me like I’m the most special person in his life. He spoils me with small gestures as well as extravagant ones such as taking me to Norway for my birthday to explore my Norwegian roots and baking brownies for finishing the last book in my series. He’s been there for me for everything, to when I got overwhelmed while writing my books to similar situations we found ourselves in years before. They don’t happen very often but having him there for every single bad moment has made a world of a difference. He always shows me that he’s here for the long run, no matter what the world throws at us. He has truly become my rock, my confidante, my love, and my life. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have him.

After leaving the chalet, we flew to London to meet his family. My nerves were already on edge, but I was more worried about meeting Bobby. I was never a huge dog person, having grown up with cats. Don’t get me wrong, I like dogs. They’re too precious for this world and we don’t deserve them. He quickly became my baby though after meeting him. He was easy to love, just like his daddy.

When I did meet his family though, they welcomed me with open arms. They were elated to finally meet his “famous author girlfriend” who “stole our Tom’s heart.” They were getting tired of him only talking about me, our week together, and how he couldn’t wait to see me again. He was thoroughly embarrassed but I assured him that my best friend went through the same thing. They also loved the fact that Tom finally brought someone home. I was surprised how well I got along with them. It was more shocking that they had all read my book and loved it, wanting to know what else I had planned (apparently Tom made them all read it when he saw them after we met). 

And because of the series finally being finished, I’ve decided to reveal myself which is the reason why I’m backstage at Ellen. I told my agent when I first hired her that if I were to ever relinquish my anonymity I would want to do it on Ellen’s show. When my agent called the show, they were thrilled. 

So now I’m here, freaking out about the whole thing. Thankfully, Tom is here being the rock I need right now. He hasn’t left my side the entire morning. He made me breakfast, he held my hand on the ride over here, he sent me encouraging smiles when I glanced at him from the make-up chair, and now his arms are secured around my waist as I stand backstage. I’m just waiting for the show to start. I briefly met with Ellen, only adding to my nervousness. She raved about my books, having read the backs of all of them. Her joke broke some of the nervous tension but as soon as she left and a PA came in telling me I needed to take my place, it was back.

 “I’m so nervous, I’m shaking! I hate being the center of attention and I hate public speaking. Why did I decide to do this again?” I ramble, hearing Ellen’s monologue in the background.

“Because my darling, you deserve to be recognized. Your books are phenomenal, and everyone needs to know who the creative genius behind them is.” He placed a kiss on my temple. I tried taking a few deep breaths.

“I wish you could go out there with me,” I whine. “This would be so much easier if I had your hand to hold.”

“I know, love. However, I am looking forward to being the one backstage for once. I can be the proud boyfriend watching my love’s success.” His pride is beaming off of him in waves. Usually I’m the one filled with pride for him on the sidelines. It’s odd being on the receiving end but having someone being proud of me is an indescribable feeling.

“One minute, Miss Ehlby.” The PA warned. “Just walk out and around the chair, greet Ellen, and then take a seat.”

“Break a leg, darling.” He gives me a kiss before I hear Ellen.

“My first guest has just released the final book in her coveted book series that includes ‘Deny’ which she published with two different endings, not telling anyone. They created such pandemonium that she’s been the most sought after author to interview. She’s remained anonymous, using a pseudonym to stay out of the spotlight. Today she is finally ready to come out of the shadows. Please welcome J.J. Ehlby.”

The music started playing and the PA motioned for me to start walking. I followed the light out, doing exactly what the PA told me to do and what I’ve seen countless celebrities do every time I watched the show with my mom. I greeted Ellen with a hug before sitting down on the nice white chair so many famous people have said they’ve peed on.

“Hi J.J.!” She greets again when the audience and music have quieted down.

“Hi Ellen!” I smile back.

“Thanks for being here. I know you could have chosen any other show to do your first interview but clearly you chose the best.” The audience laughs.

“I did choose the best. I told my agent years ago that my first interview had to be on your show whenever I decided to throw my anonymity out the door.” The more words I said the more comfortable I felt. It doesn’t feel like I’m in front of hundreds of people and one of the funniest and kindest people in the world.

“So, why don’t you tell us about yourself? No one knows anything about you except you’re a great writer.” She asks the first question I was prepared for. I was given a list of questions she would be asking so I could know what was coming.

“Well thank you. That’s why I wanted to publish using a pseudonym. I wanted to be able to have my professional and private life be separate until all of the books I had planned came out. With the last book in stores now, here I am!”

“How did you come up with the pseudonym?” Question two.

I explain it the same way I did to Tom all that time ago, “My initials actually. With my name being Jenessee Julia Lynette Borosi, I wanted to still have it be connected to who I am, but not so close that people could easily figure it out. So it became a play on my initials, J, J, L, B.”

“That’s clever,” She comments. “I never would have guessed that.”

“Thank you. I thought so, too.”

“Let’s get to what everyone has been talking about since your books came out. You published two different endings.”

“I did.” I admit, smiling evilly to myself.

“And you didn’t tell anybody.”

“Nope! That’s what initially drew the publishers in. I had posted it online which somehow gained their attention. It wasn’t popular online due to it not having any references to vampires, werewolves, or any sort of fanfiction. But when they contacted me they told me they liked both endings that I had in mind, so I told them that I wanted to do both and not tell anyone. They were immediately on board. No one had ever done anything like this before, so I thought, ‘why not?’”

“And you did a sequel only for one of them?”

I nod, “Yes. With one of the endings, it was finite enough to where it didn’t need one. But the other ending left it open-ended on purpose so that I could write a sequel to it.”

After a few more questions about the books, she asked the one I was most anxious about, “Since you write about love and falling in love so well, do you have that in real life? Do you have that kind of love in your life?”

Tom and I haven’t been very public about our relationship. Only posting non-descript and non-identifying pictures of the other and we never tag the other. We were waiting for my identity to be revealed before we go public. It’s been more fun that way. The fans go nuts for every single picture Tom posts. Everyone wants to know who I am. It’s also given us a chance to get to build our relationship outside of the media. We’ve been very sneaky. It’s tiring but exhilarating at the same time.

“I didn’t while writing the first and second books.”

“But you do now.” She states, not questions.

“I do, yes.” I can’t help the smile on my face as I think about my love backstage watching this. He’s talked about me on a few occasions. After his first interview about the “Chalet Girl,” everyone has asked about it. He did give an update after we officially got together, but he obviously didn’t give any details as to who I was. I’ve always felt giddy knowing he was proud of talking about me. I could imagine that’s how he is feeling now.

Ellen teases me about the instant smile causing my whole face to go red.  “What’s his name? How long have you been together?”

“His name is Will. We’ve known each other for three years and have been officially together for two.” Tom and I decided to use the names we first gave each other to the media so no one would suspect anything, just like when we used them.

The rest of the interview went by smoothly. She asked a few more questions about my books and then surprised the audience with a signed copy of my first book.

The next day Tom and I headed to Burbank from Los Angeles so we could tape an episode of the Late Late show. We were going into it like we hadn’t met before so we could shock the world by revealing that we were actually together and have been for a while. Tom wanted to go public with our relationship on James’ show because that’s where he made his first interview about me and he’s sentimental. He’s all about things coming full circle… such a romantic man I’ve got.

We headed to our separate dressing rooms and taped our “intro” video a while later then we moved onto the actual interview portion. We sat on the blue couch, me being the closest to James, then Tom. We were told someone else would be joining us later for a different segment. He sat a safe distance away from me so no one would think anything was going on.

“Welcome to the show, J.J.!” James greets me.

“Thank you! I’m excited to be here.” I cross my legs at the knee and relax into the back of the couch.

“And good to have you back, Thomas.”

“Thank you, sir. It’s great to be back.” He’s also leaning back with his ankle crossed over his knee. He looks like an absolute snack and there’s nothing I can do about it… stupid interview.

James went on to ask me basically the same questions Ellen did yesterday, bringing up her interview a few times. I repeated my answers trying not to sound like I rehearsed them a million times beforehand. He’d also asked me about my boyfriend, like Ellen did.

“Speaking of lovers, Thomas, how are you and your ‘Chalet girl’? How long has it been now?” James asks Tom, segueing into his portion of the interview.

“We are wonderful. We celebrated two years together this month.” And what an amazing anniversary it was. We traveled to Italy where we indulged in so much pasta and pizza. We also each tossed a coin into the Trevi fountain and took a tour of the Sistine Chapel. It was absolute perfection. I didn’t want to come back.

“So, I take it you’re still pretty infatuated with her.”

“Oh James, I’m more than infatuated with her. She’s the love of my life.” He confesses, sending me a quick glance. “I fully plan on making her my wife someday.”

We’ve talked countless times about our future: where we would want to get married and who we want there, where we want to raise our 2-3 kids, where we would want to retire to if we ever were to- everything and anything that our future may hold. I’m so excited for that time. I’d marry him tomorrow if he asked.

“Am I ever going to meet this lucky girl? You’ve been so secretive!”

“You already have.” He promptly gets up, plopping down right next to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulders before grabbing my face and kissing me. 

“What?!” James gasped. “You two?!” He motions between us with the largest grin on his face. “She’s your ‘Chalet girl’?”

I stare at the man who I have fallen more and more in love with every day for the past three years. He looks at me with such love, devotion, pride… This wonderful man has shown me that I am worthy of love; worthy of his love. That I deserve this and so much more… and I truly believe I do now.

I bury my face in his neck as he answers, “As I mentioned before, she’s so much more than that.” His hand intertwined with mine on his lap. “I don’t know what I did to deserve an incredibly kind, funny, strong, independent, breathtakingly beautiful woman such as her in my life, but I’m the luckiest man. I really am.”

If my heart could fly, it would soar…

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