#mlvsm

Things I found in my backyard today:

🍀 A four-leaf clover

🌶🦜 Pretty birds that like eating Dad's chillies

Four-leaf clovers bring a lot of sweet and happy memories because they remind me of the times Dad would bring them to me daily in my HSC year because I told him (once) they brought good luck. (I have no idea how he found so many, as I've tried to find them many times in our garden and very rarely I find one 🤷🏻‍♀️.)

Throwback to my gift from Satoko in 2015. 

My friends told me that when they imagine the love story of me and Tony as the cover of a shoujo manga, it would be something like this:

Tony princess-carrying me (like that iconic photograph at my graduation that had everyone excited for an epic birthday BBQ #iykyk 😂 that almost won our university’s alumni competition that year); an army of kendoka behind us, instead of the typical flower field; but still be surrounded by lots of flowers, because that encompasses who I am.

Ugh, I am so flattered that my friends could come up with something so cute🥰!!! I have the cutest, most precious, and most talented friends 😭🙏!! Thank you @alicemation for capturing this perfectly 🌸✨; Gwyn, for coming up with such a dreamy idea; @ anyone else who has been a part of my continuing story 😘.

Wednesday, 22 October 2014

It’s so annoying how whenever you have a crush on one person, it seems like every (unwanted) person on earth presents themselves as an option, and not the person you’re interested in 🙄...

Lately, in one of the classes I note-take for, this one guy named Anthony has been persistently flirting with me, despite me showing zero interest and (in my opinion at least) making it pretty clear. I’ve nicknamed him “unshakeable Anthony”, because I just can’t shake him off. 

Like, on my birthday exactly a week ago, he asked me out to coffee and I declined. I didn’t even give him a reason. Just a polite and firm, “no thanks. I’m not interested.”

Then, not even giving it a pause, he asked if I wanted to just study together this weekend instead, then. Even though mind you, I’m studying a completely different course to he was, and I was only in this class as a paid notetaker to assist someone else. 

I told him I had plans that weekend (which I did; the kendo barbeque). He somehow didn’t get the hint and asked to walk me home that night. This was the second time he’d done that. I obviously declined. He insisted. I declined again. (I don’t want this guy knowing where I live, since I already have one stalker.)

Because I knew there was a strong chance he was going to offer to walk me home, again, and there was a matter of time before he just follows me (especially since my home is so close to the train station... it’s hard to pretend to be going where I’m not going?) I asked Tony if he would mind meeting me after class and walking me home instead. Ugh, he’s an absolute angel and lifesafer! 

To be honest, it was a lot of people in the the kendo beginners’ group (affectionately self-titled the “Kspeds’”) idea that I asked Tony for help. I think they thought it’d be funny to see how he’d handle it.

During class today, Anthony complimented my hairtie... Which is quite awkward. Because it’s a regular, thin, black hairtie. But thanks... (I mean, I can’t be an asshole about it...)

And then he started showing off his tie, which was also nothing special (sorry! I think it was blue and white checkered? And not made from any fancy material, that I could tell... I mean I’m no tie expert, but...) I didn’t want to pretend to be interested in it... so I just gave him a fake smile and gave him a curt (or at least not more exaggerated than necessary), “nice!” Which he detected, and was like “wow, you really are not interested at all about this, are you?”

Sorry, Anthony.

Class went on as usual, and towards the end, Anthony asked if he could speak to me after class, and I was like, “sure! But I’ll need to dash, as I’m actually meeting up to speak with one of the kendo execs after class about... um, something... important 🙂.” And he was like, “sure, no problems! It’ll be quick!”

I wondered what he possibly had to talk to me about, considering I’d declined him so many times, we didn’t even study the same things, and as far as I’m aware, didn’t have much in common. If he was going to choose this opportunity to confess after I’d turned him down like that, I...

And then class ended, and it was so awkward. He made us sit on the couches just outside the classroom, and I was like, “so... what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” Whilst Tony stood near us, not close enough to interrupt. But close enough for Anthony to clearly feel uncomfortable 😅.

“Oh, nothing... I- I just wanted to talk, like - not anything serious! I’ll talk to you next week if you need to get somewhere...”

“No, no, no. It’s fine! He,” I indicated towards Tony, “doesn’t mind waiting at all. If you had something to talk to me about, you might as well tell me now,” I smiled sweetly. 

“No, it’s not like that. Anyway, I’ll talk to you later!” And he sprinted off so quickly down those escalators in Building 11. Oh my gosh, I almost felt bad but it was so funny!

Without thinking, I linked arms with Tony and we also walked down together. I eventually realised midway down the escalator and awkwardly let go. He told me he was okay with it, but I felt bad. And I told him that.

But then, when we actually walked outside of the building, onto the street, on a cold, late, night. The wind was blowing pretty strong, and I asked if I could borrow his arm again. 

On Friday the 12th of September 2014, the Japanese Navy came and visited our dojo.

Warm-ups were still a struggle for me. But, thanks to Tony and his little bit of extra training (he offered more private trainings, which I honestly needed, but I declined), I at least knew how to stretch properly and go the same way as the rest of the class. 

I had also learned a technique which prevented me from cracking up whenever I made eye contact anyone during neck warm-ups when we turned our heads side to side (i.e. closing my eyes.) 

I don’t know why, but it’s so awkward looking at people when they look so serious turning their heads from side to side! And unfortunately, whenever I cracked up, the other person would too. I knoww, I am such a class disrupter, right? Small victories!

I couldn’t keep up with everyone’s speed practicing suburi. However, Uncle Taek told us it’s about proper technique, not speed. 

He reminded us it wasn’t a race, so and we should cut correctly instead of trying to go as fast as we can. So I did my best to cut correctly (a struggle — who knew swinging a stick back and forth, or diagonally to the left and to the right was so hard, right?) I stood out during warm-ups for the wrong reasons, but I tried to focus on doing the best I could and not focus on how embarrassing it was to be such a beginner in front of our overseas guests.

Also, after kendo, I made friends with tall and dark-skinned Narong. I was curious that someone else in the club could speak one of the less common Asian languages I spoke at home, so I went and introduced myself.

“Geez, I saw you at warm-up. You have no arm muscles. Or barely enough to lift your arms,” was pretty much the first thing he said to me. 

I cracked up. “You’re right. I need to keep training.” 

“You should ask Tony if he can make you one of those wooden paddles the same weight as a shinai, but shorter, so you can practice suburi inside your home.”

“O-okay. I’ll ask him later.”

“Go ask him now.”

“He’s talking to Elena.”

“Yeah, just wait behind her.”

I felt awkward standing there as Tony and Elena were talking kendo stuff. Even more embarrassingly…

“What do you want? To date me?” he said raising an eyebrow.

“I--” Oh my god. I was so flustered. 

“Get in line.” 

He said it with a straight face, even though he was obviously joking.

I playfully him, and Elena cracked up and said, “oh, Tony, please! Surely there’s no line!”

After kendo, we went to a Korean restaurant nearby to celebrate the arrival of our Japanese Navy guests. There was two tables of Japanese Navy members; half at the table I was on with a group of other girls, and half with Tony and some other seniors.

Despite the language barrier, the Japanese Navy members were very friendly. I found out Kazuki and I were very close in age. I also noticed he was flirting with me a little…  

Eventually, Kazuki mustered up the courage to ask if he could add me on Facebook. June overheard and was like “oh me! Oh me too! Add me too!”

Suddenly all the girls on my table asked to add them on Facebook, and he looked overwhelmed. 

The tea ceremony is a very touching tradition where we pay respects and thanks to our parents for raising us, and also introducing our spouse to each other's families as an official member of the family, by serving them tea. During this tradition, we teach each other to use the correct titles for the seniors in our family and begin calling each other's parents "mum" and "dad".

(Oh, speaking of new titles, if anyone's wondering whether I decide to take my husband's surname, yes, I did. But I also decided to retain my own.)

Due to Covid, we didn't end up serving tea to all of each other's family members; instead, we only served tea to our parents, my oldest uncle and aunty, and a couple of Tony's family friends, since the rest of his family members weren't able to attend due to the border restrictions.

Despite it being a smaller event than usual, it was so special 🥺❤️.

To be honest, I was feeling nervous the morning of my wedding because the days following up to the wedding, Dad had been quite emotional about letting go of his little girl.

Even though he had always adored Tony, suddenly the week before the wedding, he was very moody and everything anyone did ticked him off (even when we weren't even in the same room)... No one could blame him though, as he's been recovering from a cerebral injury (the stroke he had in the middle of the year).

But come to the tea ceremony, he smiled the biggest genuine smile after Tony kissed him on the cheek (egged on by my aunties). That moment actually made me cry...

(Thankfully after the wedding, Dad has gone back to his normal love for Tony; he loves Tony like his own son and even said so himself, "when these two got married, I gained a son.")

It's still such a shame no one captured the kiss Tony gave Dad on the cheek because that moment was so priceless. But we still managed to capture a lot of special moments.

We didn't have a videographer at the tea ceremonies as we didn't want to make Dad uncomfortable, as his speech is still slow after the stroke and we didn't want it to stress him out.

Once we were done with my side's tea ceremony we caught our wedding car to attend the Liu side's tea ceremony, which was another emotional moment. It made me happy seeing how happy Tony's parents were.

At our tea ceremonies, my mum gifted me a traditional Laotian handmade necklace that day, and Tony's mum gifted me a jade bracelet. Both pieces of jewellery are extremely precious and valuable; one to remind me of my roots and one which is treaured for its protective properties and was given to me to protect me from harm and keep me healthy.

Our tea ceremonies felt so special because they marked the moments we officially became family to each other.

(Also, thankfully my cousins did a good job decorating our apartment as the decorations are still hanging as we're not supposed to take them down until they fall off themeselves, and there's no sign they'll be doing that any time soon...)