#mlmscams

Sometimes, the city with all the people just wears on me. Today’s commute was crowded and hot as if 50,000 extra people were suddenly on the subway.

And then I came home to a plumbing disaster caused by a leak through a light fixture. Not only is my bathroom wet with a questionably stable ceiling, but it’s also a fucking fire hazard.

In between the bookends of a shitty morning commute and a leaking bathroom that poses a fire hazard, I had to deal with another issue.

Fucking Beachbody.

If you’re lucky enough to be unfamiliar with this latest pyramid scheme to suck in unsuspecting housewives and convince them to spend their time selling shit to their friends, you’re lucky.

Because Beachbody is another MLM scheme aimed to turn your friends, acquaintances, and family into targets for sales goals.

And if that’s not enough, it does so through that most nefarious of means, body shaming and bullshit diet culture.

I admit it, every so often I throw a bean or two to friends shilling children’s books or comfy leggings. I don’t think getting involved in MLMs is a good idea, but I’m willing to over-pay for a pop-up book or some cute prints in the name of friendship every now and then. Especially, children’s books. That’s Not My Hedgehog was pretty much impossible for me to resist.

And I know better, MLM companies are basically giant Ponzi schemes where no one but the top dogs actually make any money (Protip: if you make money by recruiting your own competitors, think long and hard about whether that’s a sustainable business model. Hint: it’s fucking not.) But I go to the parties and buy a book and get out before anyone can ask me if I want to be a sales rep.

But Beachbody is a company selling the lie that you can successfully diet by recruiting mostly stay at home moms to shill for them. It’s gross upon gross.

And anyone whose a friend of mine knows how I feel about diet companies - they are evil, soul sucking, insecurity sucking monsters that steal our confidence and then try to sell us a cheap substitute.

Weight Watchers, the kraken of all diet companies, is in part responsible for my eating disorder. Just typing their name made me taste a frozen diet meal and gag.

I have strong feelings about this.

And I also believe in body autonomy, so while I will not pretend that everyone’s individual choices are pro-body positivity (something else diet companies steal and try to sell back fake), I don’t go around pissing on the Beachbody fad that’s been slowly taking over FB.

But today, a friend tried to recruit me. And I am so fucking angry about it.

I’m angry because I feel either:

a) misunderstood - how could anyone who knows me possibly think that I would be interested in something like this. My stance on dieting is one of my defining characteristics. It’s maddening to be so unknown. b) nothing but a sales target - maybe my friend knew good and well that she was barking up the wrong tree, but tried anyone in direct opposition to respecting my boundaries.

Worse, she caught me when I’m feeling vulnerable. I am actually looking for a new workout routine, and I didn’t know she was shilling Beachbody. She initially invited me to join a workout group and she pushed a lot of my vulnerability buttons (“fellow new moms,” “not a lot of time for yourself”).

I stood by my boundaries but was cautiously interested. I reminded her of my eating disorder recovery, that I wouldn’t be interested in diet talk, and that I practice health at every size and told her that if those things fit her exercise group I was interested.

She told me it did, and then promptly started explaining the diet aspects. Fuck, man. I just felt totally ignored.

Portion control, cheat days. All the bullshit.

On top of everything else, she did exactly what diet sales people do - she dug into my insecurities and undermined my confidence. She spent most of her time once she shifted to diet mode talking about the focus on cheat days, as if she had decided that that would be the right selling point for me. She focused on the fact that I’m a new mom, in a new mom’s body, mentioning a lack of self care that left me feeling extremely self conscious.

I am the only fatty in my new mom’s circle. Just me. I’m also one of the few who have a full time job. I can’t help but feel judged sometimes anyone and this was just a horrible reminder that it isn’t all my imagine.