#mlm reader insert

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I could not believe I was doing this; I could not believe I was at my first high school party. I normally would not go to these sorts of parties, not because I was not invited. Yes, I was what you called a "nerd" but so was everyone in my school. The school was full of smart people, so people were not called nerds. Even some of them would be the definition of what a nerd is with loving stuff like Star Wars or Star Tark. But I did not go to parties because I am not a huge fan of drinking alcohol, I do not understand the fun of it. I am sure it is great now but then you have a bad hangover the next day. I do not get the point of parties either, it is just a reason for teenagers to get horny, sweaty, and drunk all at the same time and that does not sound fun at all.

But we still had popular kids in the school, and I was not one of them. Not that I wanted to be one of them, all they care about is how much money is in your bank account and what car you were driving. Example of popular kids was Flash and Liz, both of their parents were rich, so everyone wanted to be friends with them. And the party I was at was Flash's one, I do not like Flash at all, he is full of himself and how rich he is, but I was at this party against my own will.

The only reason I am at this stupid party was that my BFSB, who is my Best Friend Since Birth, wanted to come. It was the end of the summer party that everyone and their mothers were invited to, it was a way to prepare that we need to survive another year of school. She was friends with Flash and Liz, so she was invited to this party and dragged me along with her,

I honestly do not know how Kate and I are best friends because we are the opposite of each other. Both of our families are close to each other. And me and Kate became close because we were always around each other. But we had nothing in common when it came to our interests. She is popular, loves fashion and is a party animal whereas I am shy, and only wears hoodies and would rather just stay in and watch TV than go out.

So, when she told me about the party and how she needed me to go because she could not go by herself because her family did not trust her. And that is because Kate has done a lot of bad things over the years that have gotten her in trouble over the years, sometimes even with the police.

So now her parents were watching like a hawk watching their pry. So, the only way that Kate could go to the party was if I went with her and lied saying that we were going to the cinema or library. Her family saw me as the "Golden Child" as one would say because I always studied, was doing great in school, did not drink. It was every parent's dream.

So now I flash forward to the present and I am awkwardly sitting in the kitchen of the flash's party waiting for it to be over. I haven't even been there more than 10 minutes, but I wanted to leave already. I lost Kate as soon we walked into the room, so I was just waiting for her to show her face again.

And speaking of the devil and they shall appear, Kate comes running into the room and almost falls all over the place because she is drunk, and we only just got there. "We've been here five minutes, how have you drunk already," I asked her while I walked over to her and helped her over to a seat and sat her down. But she slowly slips off the chair and now is on the floor, I try to sit her down again, but she just keeps on falling. She finally gets herself to sit down and then looks around the room before her eyes land on me and she screams.

"There you are Y/N, I need you to do me a big Favour" she chuckles while saying it to me as if she just found me. This bitch is drunk, I do not like to do Favour for her, she always asks me to do them for her and they are always bad. Most of the time I do a Favour for her, I always end up holding her hair up in my bathroom because she is too drunk to go home.

" Depend on what it is?" I answered her while getting a glass of water for her from the sink. To say I am scared would be an understatement, she could ask me to do anything, and I did not want to hold her hair back again all night. "I need you to play seven minutes in heaven so I can get on with Flash in the closet," she said trying to stay sitting at the table and blinking at me weirdly.

I think she is trying to wink at me, but she is so drunk that it isn't working out for her. I honestly don't know what she sees in him because he is the most selfish person I have ever seen, but as her BFSB I just must support her and her stupid decisions and just put a fake smile on.

I walked over to give her the water and the smell of alcohol off her is strong. Flash and Kate have this think. Like  will they, won't they thing going on. They like to hook up, but it never turns into anything serious. Kate says she is fine with it, but I do not think she is, to be honest, I think she wants a relationship (AGAIN I DON'T KNOW WHY!!).

My heart drops when she asks me that question, she wants me to play seven minutes in heaven. She knows I have not even had my first kiss yet, and she wants me to have my first one with a drunk stranger. She must be joking; this must be a joke.

"No... it's a bad enough that you dragged me to this party, but now you want me to go out there and play a game," I said, walking back over to the sink and refilling the glass of water. "Oh please." She is giving me her famous puppy dog eyes. Kate always does the puppy eyes when she wants me to do something, and sadly it always works.

"No, I'm not doing it, I'm not having my first kiss be at his stupid party" I am standing my ground, there is no way she can get me to do it. And then she plays the card that she knows that I cannot say no to. She begins to walk away but then turns around to say one last time. "Oh, and also Peter might be playing, and I know you have a big fat crush on him," she says with a smirk on her devilish face.

Peter is someone that is in my year, he is the sweetest, kind, smartest person that I have ever met, well I have never had a conversation with him but what I have seen and heard is all of that. Well from everyone except Flash who likes to call him Penis Parker for some stupid reason, and that is another reason that I don't like flash. But sadly, he isn't into boys because he has his eyes out for Liz. I don't blame him because she is the girl every guy wants to date and every girl wants to be including Katie.

She continues to look at me with those puppy dog eyes until I cave in. I was going to do it any way but since Peter will playing and I have had a chance to kiss him is a bonus. I will do her this Favour, but this is the last time, I hope. We walk into the room and people are on the couch ready to play. As I walk over, I see that Peter is sitting there but Liz is sitting right beside him.

I walk over to the couch and sit beside Kate. I look over to Peter and he sees me and gives me a smile and a wink. I looked behind me thinking he did not just do that to me, but when I looked behind me there was no one. I was confused about why he was at this party because he and Flash don't get along but I didn't really think much into it.

They begin the game, And Kate says she will go first and spins the bottle to see who the first person is. She spins the bottle and of course out of all people its lands on Flash. He makes a joke about how they aren't in a relationship and that other ladies can join in. Like I said they have been hooking up for like seven months and spend most nights texting but to flash they were not  in a relationship.

Kate gives me a smile before getting off the couch, and they go off somewhere to have their seven minutes. And now I was stuck on my own with people I do not know and one of them I will have to spend seven minutes in heaven with. I feel myself starting to panic that I would have to spend seven minutes alone with someone. Maybe I could just leave the game and no one would notice.

I stare into the distance in my thoughts when I am brought out of it with someone shaking me. It is my turn to spin the bottle. And my nervousness starts to get the best of me, I can feel myself starting to panic. I grab the bottle and I spin it and my heart starts to beat fast. It feels like it is spinning forever until it lands on Peter. I do not want to do this, so I grab the bottle to spin it again when I am stopped by a hand.

I look up to see that it is Peter's hand on my hand, and my heart starts to beat faster, and it feels like I am about to have a panic attack. "Hey, it landed on me, and we have to play by the rules" he winks and then grabs my hand and leads me off. I can hear Everyone talking while we walk away. We slowly walk over to the closet and close the door.

It is awkward for a while because neither of us does anything. We just sit there awkwardly. I am too busy panicking about what to do because this is my first time. It feels like I have been in this closet for hours, and I have already spent most of my life in it. When he finally breaks the silence and says something.

"You know you're the only person who does not pick of me like flash" He's staring into my eyes while saying this and damn it feels like I am in actual heaven. "Or wants to be my lab partner just so they can pass the class and not do any work" I feel my heart melting as he says all this to me. I do not know why he is saying it, but I am not going to stop him.

"You're not my type," I say trying to act cool, but I can tell it is not working. He can hear my heart beating so loudly or could he hear my thoughts.

" Oh, really Y/N" He smirks while saying his to me. We stood there quietly again just staring into each other's eyes. Then when all is in slow motion, he starts to lean in. And just before our lips touch.

I woke up

The heat in your cheeks betrayed you, and you cursed yourself for sounding like a moonstruck simpleton.

Thomas poured himself a glass of brandy, his blue eyes holding a glimmer of amusement as he regarded you. "Do you not enjoy the dance?"

I enjoy watching you more, you thought, your pants getting uncomfortably tight now that you stood so near to the man.

Your throat tightened, words jumbled in your mind. "I-I find myself more at ease observing," you managed, the confession sounding like a plea.

"Ah, the quiet allure of the wallflower," he mused, taking a slow sip. His gaze lingered on you, unsettling yet thrilling all at once.

"Your grace is evident even without stepping onto the floor," you blurted, then immediately wished the ground would swallow you whole. He was a baronet, and you? A nobody, Just another young man without title or means.

"Flattery, sir?" His eyebrow arched, a playful edge to his tone. But there was something else there. A curiosity that danced behind his eyes.

"Merely an observation," you replied, the words coming out rougher than intended.

"Observations can be powerful things," Thomas said, setting his drink aside. His hand ghosted near yours, an almost touch that sent a jolt through your veins. "Especially when seen through keen eyes."

You swallowed hard, realizing that you’d fallen for this man. Hard. And talking to him only confirmed it.

You needed to get out, and swiftly, before you’d make a fool of yourself. This man was a forbidden desire. A man from the upper class that you should not get involved with.

The grandeur of the ballroom, with its opulent chandeliers and the swish of silken gowns, suddenly felt like a gilded cage. The air, heavy with perfume and heat, clung to your skin. You yearned for the crisp night beyond the tall French doors.

"I could use some fresh air," you murmured, an apology and an excuse all in one as you rushed to get away from the man of your desires.

If only things could be that easy. As if fate wanted to tart you, the man followed your steps.

"Ah," you heard Thomas say, his voice soft as velvet. "I find myself with a similar need."

Even if you had wanted to escape him, denying him to come along felt impolite and quite frankly impossible. And so you led the way, the two of you slipping through the throng of dancers and out onto the balcony where the cool breeze kissed your flushed cheeks. London's lights twinkled below, a starry mimicry that paled against the real constellations overhead.

"Thank you," Thomas said after a moment, his breath forming clouds in the chill. You watched as he placed his hands on the marble balustrade. Those long and slender fingers… fantasies arose within your mind. If only…

Thomas sounded hesitant when he spoke next, as if he was thinking of how to phrase things. "I must confess, I'm rather unhappy being here,” he said, words a sigh as he joined you leaning his elbows on the balustrade. “Parading around, dancing with all those beautiful girls."

You tensed. "I share your sentiment," you said cautiously, thinking of the ballroom and all the wonderous guests inside. You had danced with gorgeous women in the past, always being polite enough to compliment them and sometimes even make them blush.

It’s just… they weren’t for you.

Even if society expected you to eventually choose one as your wife. You supposed you were lucky not to have been born in one of the upper circles. The pressure of marriage was a little less in your circles, as you at least needed a good income to provide for a family And you weren’t quite there yet. Still young, your old man would say. You’d get there.

Perhaps, you thought, feeling the cold night air brush past your heated cheeks. "The festivities here are... suffocating."

Thomas chuckled softly, a sound that carried both weariness and relief. “Oh, the party is just fine,” he then said, surprising you at his honest admission. His blue eyes turned to you. “The music is wonderful and the company is excellent.”

You felt a slight shiver at his words, as if he somehow had included you in the company there and had given you a shielded compliment.

"It's my sister," Thomas finally admitted after a bit of hesitating, turning his gaze to the stars. "She forced me to attend. Insisted, really."

You remained silent and watched your hands so close to his on the cold marble balustrade. His skin was pale, like a translucent ghost compared to the pale stones his palms rested on. An ethereal beauty.

"Lucille is relentless," Thomas said, his voice low and tinged with a fatigue that seemed etched into his very bones. "She wants me secured in another marriage."

So Thomas wasn’t eager to get married? Again? If you caught it correctly there. Had he been married before?

“Isn’t marriage supposed to be a joyful affair?” You carefully asked, surprised by how bitter your own voice sounded. You had wanted to keep your calm, but once again you were losing your composure.

Thomas let out a short laugh. “It is supposed to be, my friend.” His blue eyes sought yours again, tiny crunkles adoring them as he smiled at you. “If it’s with the right one.”

Silence stretched between you, and when you didn’t speak, Thomas shifted on his feet and cleared his throat again.

“And you? I couldn’t help but notice you lack a ring,” that observation had you gaze at your own hand, surprised that Thomas had paid attention to such a detail.

His eyes flickered back to you, apologetic. "Forgive me. I seem to be gushing. It's just... I feel oddly at ease with you."

His hand found your shoulder, a gentle pressure that should have been alarming but instead anchored you. His touch was hesitant yet seeking, as if he were reaching not for your body, but for something intangible that you both shared.

"It's... it's fine," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. The rebellion of enjoying this moment, this connection with someone so far removed from your own station, was a heady thing.

You felt the words catch in your throat, a confession rising unbidden. "I—I wouldn't know the joy in it either. Marriage... women..." Your voice faltered, choked by the admission. "They don't hold that sway over me."

The hand on your shoulder grew heavier, the fingers digging gently into your skin as his grip became firmer. Thomas’s blue eyes were searching yours, a storm of understanding brewing within their depths.

"I'm sorry," you added hastily, an apology for the truth you rarely dared speak aloud. “I probably should just leave.”

"No," he said, stepping closer, his breath a whisper against your lips. "Don't ever apologize for your truths."

To your surprise, his hand rose, fingertips reaching for your skin.

"The only real beauty I see isn't in there,” Thomas whispered, “It's here..."

His fingers brushed your cheek, a touch so light it might have been mistaken for the wind if not for the fire it ignited beneath your skin. "You're remarkable," he murmured, tracing the line of your jaw with a reverence that made your heart stutter.

Your breath hitched as his face loomed closer, the reality of this moment—a moment you'd longed for without knowing it was possible—threatening to overwhelm you.

"Thomas..." The name escaped as a sigh, a prayer, a curse all at once.

"Shhh," he coaxed, his lips grazing yours, a fleeting contact that promised more. And then, with a certainty that left no room for doubt, his mouth claimed yours in a kiss that was both gentle and insistent.

You tasted him—brandy and wistfulness—and it was like drinking from a forbidden spring.

His lips moved against yours with a slow, deliberate passion that spoke of things unsaid, desires unvoiced.

His kiss was a quiet revolution, upending everything you thought you knew about longing, about yourself. You kissed him back with a hunger that surprised you, raw and honest in its intensity.

"Thomas," you breathed again into the kiss, and this time it was an anchor, holding you fast in a world tilting dangerously underfoot.

The stars above were witness to the crescendo of your surrender as Thomas deepened the kiss, his hands exploring territories of flesh and fabric with a conqueror's boldness. The world narrowed to the balcony, the night air an accomplice to your shared sin.

As darkness crept around you, shielded you like a cloak, Thomas’s hand ran up your thigh, gently tugging at the buttons of your clothes. You let him, didn’t even try to stop him because this was what you wanted.

"Thomas," you gasped, a hand clutching at his vest as if to anchor yourself amidst the storm he was awakening in you.

"Let me," he breathed against your throat, his words hot and heady as the kisses he planted along your collarbone.

You could only nod, every nerve ending alight, anticipation coiling tight within your belly. His fingers deftly worked the buttons of your shirt, exposing skin to the cool kiss of the night. You shivered, not from cold but from the sheer intensity of his gaze drinking in the sight of you.

"Beautiful," he said, the word a caress as his hands roamed with purposeful intent.

Your back hit the stone balustrade, his body a solid line of warmth against yours. Every touch was a spark, every movement stoked the flames higher. When he sank into you, it wasn't just a meeting of bodies; it was the union of souls adrift, finding harbor in each other's arms.

"Thomas," you cried out, the name a talisman against the overwhelming tide of bliss. Your world constricted to the rhythm he set, the slow grind that escalated into urgency, the push and pull as old as time yet as new as the dawn.

"My friend,” he whispered, his lips at your ear, each thrust punctuating the claim. “Mine.”

"Yours," you echoed, the word torn from the depths of your being as you clung to him.

Your friend, perhaps even more, you wanted to say. But pleasure rippled through you as his cock moved supply inside of you. You’d never had someone of his size and girth before, but you’d been more than ready. And so had he been. The head of his cock was slick enough to make the slide in less painful, the thrusts now deep enough that they hit your prostrate at such an angle that you couldn’t help but feel bliss.

You couldn’t tell how long time lasted as you lost yourself in pure pleasure. Your muscles contracted around his shaft, milking him, begging him to come inside. Your lips parted in a silent ‘o’ while he buried his face in your neck, gritted teeth scraping along your sensitive skin as he groaned your name.

His arms were clutched around your shoulders, pulling you tight against him, two lovers caught in an embrace.

The stuttering of his hips announced that he was close. And as if on cue, your body started to spasm, walls fluttering around him as you came. A few irregular thrusts later, Thomas followed you, tumbling over the brink and painting your inside with hot, liquid white.

You groaned, coming down from your high with Thomas’s arms still around you, as both of you caught your breath.

The aftermath was a quiet so profound it felt sacred, your breaths mingling, a silent testament to what had passed between you. It was over too soon. Reality beckoned with the distant sound of music and laughter filtering through from the ballroom.

“Good,” your voice nearly skipped a notch, emotions still running wild inside of you as your chest heaved rapidly up and down. “S-So good.”

Thomas slipped from your core and started to readjust his clothes. You figured you should do the same, making yourself look presentable, even though your heart was still racing rapidly at what had just occurred.

“Thank the stars for such a miracle,” you thought you heard Thomas whisper. But surely, you must be mistaken, right? You turned to face him, but before you could ask, Thomas had grabbed your hand.

"Come," he murmured, straightening his clothes with swift, practiced movements. "We must return."

You followed Thomas inside, the thrum of the ballroom a stark contrast to the intimacy you'd just shared. The revelry was a blur, the faces nothing more than masks devoid of meaning. Lucille approached, her eyes sharp as shards of glass, slicing through the facade.

Thomas instantly let go of your hand.

"Really, Thomas?" Her voice dripped with disdain, taking in his disheveled appearance. "I would have never taken you for such... tastes."

You flinched and looked aside. Indeed, Thomas’s hair was disheveled, despite his best attempts, and a bruising hickey was peeking out from underneath his collar. Had you done that?

You stepped away from him, ready to retreat into the shadows, feeling ashamed and suddenly very little and meaningless. But Thomas’s blue eyes turned towards you, dark and determined.

“This wasn’t meaningless,” was all he said. But you felt the words deep inside your heart, reigniting the pleasure he had given you before. It had been real. It still felt like it had meant so much more than a fleeting moment of passion.

"Wait for me," he promised, low and fierce. "This isn't the end."

Then Sir Thomas Sharpe disappeared into the crowd, following his stoic-looking sister. Her features portrayed displeasure, perhaps even disgust, and it would have made you feel uncomfortable if not for Thomas’s soothing words.

You weren’t done here. Neither of you were.

You would see him again.

~

AN: For more, follow me (:

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I wake up to the sound of my alarm screaming at me, I hit the snooze and try to go back to sleep. Today marked the first day of school, I was great when it comes to school, but I hated it. I would rather just be homeschooled. I was not being bullied or anything, I just hate being around people, well of course with some exceptions of Katie.

I slowly crawl out of my bed, and head into the bathroom to have a shower before I must leave for school. I quickly jumped into the shower and listened to music while doing it.

Music was the one thing that I loved; a song could tell you a whole story within 3 minutes. It could be about heartbreak, happiness, loneliness, there was not just one way to write a song. I love the lyricism of some artists like Taylor Swift, and how they would use words that normally do not rhyme and then make them.

That is what made me start to write songs because it helped me get away from everything that I happen ding in the word, it allows me to be in my own little world, and I could get all my emotions out without having to talk about my feeling to someone.

I had a songbook that had all of my thought, ideas and songs in it and no one was allowed to look at, not even Katie or my father. They knew that they was not allowed to look at it and Katie respected my privacy. But there was sometimes when I caught her trying to look.

Most of the songs were songs about Peter, and some were about other people. But mostly about Peter and how I could never be with him because he never felt the same way. I started a new song a couple of days ago called "enchanted" but all I had so far was the chorus.

"There I was again tonight Forcing laughter, faking smiles Same old tired, lonely place Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy Vanished when I saw your face All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you"

The song was about how much Peter had an impact on me, how he could make the most horrible day turn into the best with just his smile. But of course, he could never know how I felt. I grab a plain white top and black jeans and a green flannel from my closet and throw them on.

I walked downstairs to find my dad in the kitchen with his laptop looking at the news. It was talking about the Germany situation with Iron Man and Captain America. And how they are outlaws now, it was sad to see the one hope that the world had fall apart.

My father is always working and never takes time out for it; he  owned a couple of restaurants with my mother. But after she died it became his full responsibility to run them, he used it so that he did not have to cope with my mother's death. He never really showed any emotions, but I knew it hurt him.

My mother died a couple of years ago when I was 13, she was in a plane crash on her way back from a business trip. My father was meant to go on the business trip with her, but they got into a fight the night before and he decided that he was not going to go. And now he blames himself for what happened and how she was alone. I have told him thousands of times that he did not know it would happen, but he still blamed himself.

Ever since then he drove headfirst to work and has not stopped working since then. And it has affected our relationship, we barely spend time together or even talk. He is always either at work or home in his office doing work. I heard him one day talking to grandparents on the phone about how hard it was for him to look at me because it reminds him of her.

I do look a lot like my mother, we both had E/C eyes and H/C hair. People would say we look like twins and my dad did not get a look in when it came to me. I did miss her; I missed her a lot. She would help me with my songwriting, she would help me when I need a word to rhyme with or could not think of a chorus.

She also loved music but never did anything about it because she was so busy with business. So, when she died, I decided that I would complete her dream for her. I was good at writing songs, just not everything else when it came to it. All I knew is that I would be famous one day and I will dedicate my first Grammy to her.

My father looks up form the laptop and gives me a small smile that he always gives before going back to work. I grab bread and decide to make toast, I sit down and eat the toast in the awkward quietness. My father closes his laptop and looks and me not saying anything for a while.

"Excited for your first day back, Y/N," he says after a while. I was honestly shocked that he remembered because he never really kept up with me and what was happening in my life. "Yeah, but nervous about it as well" I answer while eating my toast. He looks at me and let out a small sigh, "I'm sorry I haven't been the most amazing father lately, I just thought that my focus on work would help us. But it has honestly done the opposite" he confesses

I did not know what to say, this was unexpected, my father and I have not had a conversation like this in years. We normally just have small talk and then go separate ways, but he was having a conversation with me and wanted to know how I was. "It's ok, I know it's been a lot for you lately" is all I could get out. I did not know what I should say. I was never good at comforting people, so I normally left that for other people to do.

We ended up talking more about my mom and how she would be proud of me. He also asks me if I am still writing music and I tell him that I am, and when I tell him a smile appears on his face. We talked for a couple of minutes before I looked at the clock and saw that I was late for school. I rush to grab my bag and notebooks before rushing out the door to the bus stop.

I did not even hear my father when he offered me a lift because I was already out the door and running down the street. I was thankful to make it just in time for the bus and sit in the back of the bus in the empty bus, the bus ride is normally about 30 minutes, so I take out my songbook and scribble some ideas down.

I open the page that enchanted is on and read over the chorus that I have. I had a pre-chorus and chorus idea, but I did not know if it would work with the songs. But then I heard my mother's voice in my head telling me to put it in, so I did.

  "And it was enchanting to meet you All I can say is, I was enchanted to meet you"

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you"

When I finally get to the school, I am already 10 minutes late, I get off the bus and put my songbook in my bag not even realizing that I did not close it because I was in a rush. I ran into the school and down the hallways and rushed over to the corridor that my locker was in.

When I was about to turn the corner to it, when I bumped into someone, everything in their hands went flying into the air. We both fell to the ground, and I could hear him laugh, "Are you ok, Y/N" I heard him say.

I look over to see that I bumped into Peter, out of all the people I could have bumped into it was him. I was screaming on the inside but looked calm on the outside, I was good at doing that when Peter was around. I help him pick up all his stuff, and he puts out his hand to help me up.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't  looking where I-" I was cut off by him laughing again. "It's grand Y/N, I wasn't looking either," he says. Wait he knew my name, I did not think he would know it.

He picks up my bag and hands it to me, I do not even notice that something fell out of it when he does. We just stared at each other till I remembered that I was late for class and still had not been to my locker.

I apologise again for bumping into Peter and being too rushed off, I could hear him calling me, but I was too embarrassed to turn back around.

I finally got to my locker and started to put my stuff in quickly, so I am not late for class, just as I finished with my locker and was about to go to class. Kate and Nathan turn the corner and walk over to me. Nathan was our friend; well, he was Kate's friend more than mine. Also, he had a crush on her, which he told me about one night when he called me drunk.

But of course, Kate does not feel the same way because she has her eyes on Flash,  It was a weird love triangle that I just did not want to get involved in, so I just pretended that the call never happened. They walk over to me and open their lockers. "How come you're not in class," I asked, I was confused. Yes, Kate did not like school, but she would never ditched class. "Remember, Miss Potts, emailed us saying she wouldn't be in first-class," Nathan said.

I think about everything that has happed , I had to rush to school for no reason. I head butt my locker and sigh with everything that happened. Didn't even notice Kate had walked over to me and closed my bag for me, and we headed to the canteen to grab something to eat.

Most of my classes were mostly just the teachers telling us what we were going to do this school year. And then we had my favourite class, which was music. Music was the one class in that I did not feel like I was under pressure to be the smartest in the room. It was the one hour of the day that I could just be myself, the teacher tells us that we can just do our own thing for this class.

So, I head to the back room, the back room is normally used for people who play drums, so they do not make too much noise but since no one in my class played it, I used it as my quiet spot for songwriting.

I get to the back room and sit in one of the bean bags that are randomly laid across the room. And open my bag to take my songbook out so that I could work on it. I looked in my bag and I couldn't see it, so I just assumed that it fell to the bottom, and I started to take everything out.

Panic started to take over my body when I realized that the book were not in my bag anymore. It was gone and I did not know where it was, I left the back room and asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom. And I ran down the halls looking around for my book, but it was nowhere to be seen, I went to my locker thinking I could have accidentally put it in there when I was not paying attention. But it was not in my locker, I could feel a panic attack coming on.

That book had everything in it, from notes from my mother, my feelings and thoughts and worst of all everything about Peter. I needed to find that book, I texted Kate to meet me in the hallways outside of the class she was in. After a couple of minutes of waiting she finally came out of it. She looked concerned because I texted her EBFM, which stands for Emergency Best Friend Meeting. We normally used it when it was important and it was important.

"I can't find my songbook Kate" I explain to her and the concerned look on her face disappears. "Y/N, are you serious? You called an EBFM for this" she says with a disappointed look on her face. "Kate, you don't understand, this book means everything to me. It was the last thing my mother got me before she died" I explained. Kates  faces changes to sad now, she knew that my mother's death had a significant impact on me.

"Ok, I'll go ask around and you go to lost and found to see if anyone handed it in" she explains, I give her a big hug and thank her before we split up to find the book. I get to where lost and found is in the front office and ask the receptionist if anyone had in a book, she hands me a box that has books in it. I looked through it, but it was nowhere to be found, I asked her if anyone handed in a book to let me know, I told her that it has my name on it and says songbook.

I meet back up with Kate at my lockers, she had no luck finding it either, "Y/N try to remember the last time you had it" she says. I think back to my day, so I had it on the bus and when I got off it, and then I rushed into the school and bumped into Peter. "Oh" is all I could get out, "what, what," she said.

I explain to her that when I was rushing to my locker, I bumped into Peter and my bag was open because I forgot to close it. Which meant that my songbook with songs about Peter was with the person the songs were about. It felt like my heart dropped, I could not even say anything else. If he had the book and he looked in it, he would think I am a creep.

The bell went to tell us that it was time for the next class, so I went back to the music room and grabbed my stuff and headed to the next class. Luckily, it was science and Peter was in this class, I walked in and saw Peter and Ned sitting beside each other. I needed to find out if he had the book without him noticing, I know I could just go up and ask but what if he had it and looked thought it? I was not ready to have that conversation with him yet.

I slowly walked past trying to look in his bag, but it was closed, Ned noticed me trying to look in his bag. "Is everything ok Y/N?" he asked. Peter turned around and we made eye contact and I could feel my heart beating so fast.

"Yeh, I drop my pen and I'm just trying to find it" I came up with an excuse for what I was doing. Peter gives me a small smile and grabs his bag. Was he about to hand me the songbook, was he about to tell me to never talk to him again?

Panic started to take over my body as I waited for him to take it out . He finally gets what he needed from his bag and hands me a pen, I look at it confused. "I just thought you might need it because you lost yours" he explains.

Oh yeah, thanks," I say before quickly taking my seat at the back beside Katie. I guess Peter did not have it, so it was gone. I could feel tears start to form in my eyes, I tried to hold it back but then Kate asked me if I was okay. And then I lost it, the tears that I was trying to fight back were now running down my face.

And now everyone was looking at me, even Peter, I could not take it anymore and I grabbed my bag and ran out of the classroom. Almost bumping in to the teacher when she was coming in, I could hear Kate calling me, but I did not stop till I got to the bathroom.

I just needed to be alone for a bit, I lost the one thing that my mother gave me. I felt like I lost her again, and it hurt even more now because I had nothing to remember her by now. I was quietly crying in one of the stalls when I heard the door open, and someone walked in. I put my legs up so that I was fully on the toilet so they could not tell I was in there.

"Y/N??" I hear someone say from outside the stall, I did not say anything, "Y/N, it's Peter" he says. Are you serious? The last person that I wanted to see was on the other side of the door. I did not know what to say, he stood there in silence at the stall for a while before I heard the door open and close again. As soon as it does, a sigh leaves my lips, I sit there in the toilet before I decide that I am done with school with the day.

I grab my stuff and unlock the stall; I open the door of the bathroom looking around to see if Peter was waiting for me, but he was not. Which I was disappointed about but why would he, I head toward the front door and sign myself off before heading out the door but not towards home.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

After everything that happened in Washington and me nearly dying, my father has not let me out of his sight. It has been a week now and he has dropped me at school and collected me and I need to get permission from him when I leave the house. I know he is heart is in the right place, but it is so fucking annoying, I honestly surprise he did not get me a bodyguard. Also, Spider-Man came to my house a couple of times to apologizing to me. One of the times he showed up during the middle of the night, and just hugged me for a couple of minutes and cried. MJ has been apologizing as well because she made me go up when I wanted to stay with her. But I have assured her that she had nothing to apologize for and that she would not have known. And of course, Flash made the whole thing about him and how his best friend Spider-Man saved him and did an exclusive interview with the school media and made him sound like a hero when he in fact is nothing but a selfis- we will not get into that. Now we were less than 2 weeks away from homecoming and I honestly did not want to go, I mean there is only one reason I would go, and he is into someone else.

I have tried to get more along with Liz since she helped me with my panic attack, and even though I hate to admit it, I do think he and Peter would be great together. Well not as good as Me and Peter but it would be a close second. Now I just had to pretend like I did not like Peter like I was doing now while we were finishing our project in my house because we were going to present it tomorrow. I was a nervous wreck while Peter was so calm and collective. I would catch him staring at me sometimes with a smile on his face, and a part of me just wanted to ask him but the other part wanted to just move on with it all. We finished the project and my father offered Peter to stay for dinner, well we would be going to the restaurant. My father really likes Peter because he thinks that he will be a good person in my life.

"Why don't you invite her up for food" he says with a smile, I look at Peter and he just shrugs at me, he takes his phone out of his pocket and calls his aunt. "Hey May, Y/N's father invited us for dinner to his restaurant" he said, I couldn't hear what she was saying but when Peter smiled it meant that she agreed. We finished and got into the car to go collect Miss Parker before we went. She came out in a dress and looked like she put some makeup on, she got into the car. "Y/N, you didn't tell me you had an older brother" she says in a weird voice in a sexual way, "I actually Y/N's father" he says, and May looks at him shocked. They spend most of their car ride talking about different things, and I swear my father was trying to flirt back sometimes. Peter and I just looked at each other confused about what was happening.

I was happy that my father was moving on, I been pushing him more to put himself out there. I will be going to college in the next couple of years and the thought of him being here by himself made me sad. But why did it have to be Peter's Aunt May? We finally made it to the Restautant, and the flirting got worse, they decided that they wanted to be own their own table so they could talk about "Adult Stuff" and made me, and Peter go to the children's table. Which I did not mind because it meant that I could spend time together, "Well I guess they're going on a date now" Peter said with a laugh, "Yeah, I guess so" I said with a giggle.

"Well maybe we can go on a date" I hear Peter say and my body goes into shock, I could say anything all I could do was stare at him. "What... did you say" was all that I was able to get out after a few seconds of silence. "Oh... I meant like a date like a friend date" he said and just like that it felt like I was just stabbed in the heart, and it hurt so much. But I could not let Peter know that, so I just put a fake smile on and moved forward. "Yeah, sounds fun" I said with a fake smile hiding all the pain that I was feeling from the friend comment.

We walked over to the table and Peter rushed over to me and pulled out my chair for me, "Just because it is a friend date does not mean I should not be a gentleman. I sat down and he pushed my chair in. I have never been on a date before but damn this was the best one I have ever been on ... even if it was just a friend's date. We spend most of the night talking about Star Wars, to the avengers, to his apprenticeship with tony Stark and then Spider-Man.

"What are your thoughts on Spider-Man" he asked me, "I mean he saved my life so I would say he is a great superhero" I say. "But I was thinking about something" I say to him putting down my slice of pizza, "So Spider-Man is New York based right?" I say and Peter just nods in response. "Well, the one time he's seen outside of New York is in DC when we have the decathlon" I say, and I look at Peter and he gives me a weird look as if he is holding in a fart. "What are you trying to say" he asked me, "Well Spider-Man goes to our school and maybe is in the decathlon team" I say and Peter chokes on his pizza. And I was wondering because you work with Stark that you would know him. "Why" he asked, "Well... I wanted to see maybe if he would want to go on a date with me" I say. Believe me I did not want to go on a date with Spider-Man, he is not Peter and that who I like. I was doing what MJ told me to do and to make him jealous.

"What, you want to... Go on a date with him?" he says almost stuttering over his words. "Yeah, we've talked a couple times and he seem really nice" I say keeping eye contact with him to see if I could read how he was feeling but I could not tell, he still looked like he was holding in a fart. "You don't even know what he looks like, he could be ugly underneath" he says a little defensively, "Well Peter Luckily for me, I don't care about looks it's all about personality" I say with a smile. I look at Peter's face and he looks upset, could it be working but then a smile appears on his face. "Yeah, I can do that for you" he says. "Lucky for you, I have gotten really close with him and I will be happy to let him know" he says, the rest of the night we just talked about other stuff including the Homecoming dances that were coming up, and that he might ask Liz out, which just made me jealous, but I could not let him know that, so I just played along. "Maybe, I could put in a good word for you since you're doing the same thing" I say with my well-practiced fake smile, and he smiles back at me. And we just smiled at each other till it was time to go and we headed home. I try asking my father how he is date with May went but he would not tell me and made me go straight to bed.

I went to bed and listened to my favorite podcast until I fell asleep, I woke up to the sound of pouring rain and lighting. I looked at the clock to see that it was 3am in the morning, I was about to go back to sleep when I heard a knock on my window. I ignored it and then tried to go back to sleep but then it happened repeatedly, so I angrily got out of bed and went over to my window. I open them to see Spider-Man hanging at my window, so I open it, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE IT'S 3AM" I quietly shout at him, so I do not wake up my father. "Could you maybe let me in then give out to me please" he says and then a lightning flashed in the sky, "yeah, come in" I say walking away from the window so that he could climb in. He climbs into the room and does not say anything, just walks around until he spots my song book. "I see you still write songs" he says, "Yeah, I have but I haven't written one in a while" I say walking over and taking the book off the desk.

"How come you haven't" he asked me to sit down at the chair at my desk, I been stuck on a song I have the lyrics but not the melody. "Can I hear some of it" he says, and I just look at him, "Please" he says after a moment of silence. "Ok, but I can't look at you as I do it" I say turning around and picking a part of the song to sing to him. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before starting.

"There I was again tonight Forcing laughter, faking smiles Same old tired, lonely place Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy Vanished when I saw your face All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you" 

This versus perfect describes my night with Peter, after I did it, I wait to hear something from Spider-Man. But he does not say anything, and I start to get nervous, so I turn back around to see him just staring at me. We stared at each other for a while before I decided to break the silence, "Not to be rude, but why are you here" I asked. And it is like he finally realized what was happening and quickly stood up and walked over to me. "About that...I got a pretty interesting text off Peter tonight" he says, and I just look at him. "And..." I asked waiting for him to say what he needed to say. "Well... he told me that you had a crush on me" he says, I completely forgot that I said that, and I did not think he would tell Spider-Man. "Oh...he did?" is all that I could get out, still in shock that Peter told him, this was the sign that I needed to move on. "Yeah, And I really appreciate but."

Was Spider-Man about to reject me about my fake crush on me, what the fuck... I know I made it up but damn it still hurt. "I just see you as a friend" he says. Guess now I needed to act, "Wait what" I say acting upset, "I can't believe this" I say with tears in my eyes. All the years of learning how to fake cries from YouTube videos were finally paying off. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset you" he comes over and hugs me. "You'll find someone much better than me" he says, "Like who" I say still fake crying. "Well, that Peter kid seems good" he said. I stopped fake crying and looked at Spider-Man, "What" I said, "I said what about that Peter kid" he says again. "He likes someone else" I say, and Spider-Man walks over to the open window and begins to climb out, "You sure about that" is all he says before climbing out the window. I walked over to my bag and put both my song book into my bag, so they were more hidden.

I spend most of the night thinking about what Spider-Man said until I fell asleep at about 5am. Until I woke again but this time my name was being screamed. "Y/N, Y/N, Y/N" I hear someone shout and it get louder until my bedroom door swung open. "Y/N L/N, GET UP NOW YOU ARE LATE FOR SCHOOL" my father shouted at me, and I look at the clock to see that it was 10am ... TEN FUCKING IN THE MORNING!!!! FUCK I GONNA BE LATE FOR MY PRESENTATION AT HAFT TEN. I quickly got dressed and saw all the missed calls and texts from Peter asking where I was... I texted him that I was on the way and to meet me at my lockers. I quickly got into my father's car, we headed to the school, and I did not even wait for the car to stop before I jumped out of it, and I could hear my father giving out to me as I quickly ran in with the project. I ran to my locker and quickly turned the corner and I bumped into someone; why am I always bumping into people. I looked up to see that it was Kate and she just looked at smiled at me, "I'm so sorry, Y/N" she says getting up for the floor and putting her hand out to help me up.

"I hope we can put everything behind us and be friends again" she said with the most fake-ish smile ever. Kate forgets that I have known her all her life, so I know when she is being fake. So, I did the only thing I could do and that was be fake back, "Oh yes, totally I'm so happy that we can be friends again" I said with a fake smile. I should be getting an Oscar with all this acting I have been doing the last 24hrs, I should be an actor when I am older if music does not work out. I pick up my stuff and give her one last time, "Well we should totally catch up soon" I say before slowly walking away. I could feel her death stare at the back of my head as I was walking away, and I turn the corner to see Peter.

"Omg, thank god Y/N" he quickly rushes over, "I thought you were to upset to come in because Spider-Man turned you down" he says rushing me over to my locker. I started throwing everything that was in my bag and put it into my locker, I wasn't even looking at what I was putting in because I was thinking about what Peter said. "Wait, how did you know he rejected me" I asked, and I could see that Peter started to panic, "We do not have time for this ... we have a presentation to do" he is saying grabbing the project off me and grabbing my hand and running to the class. Thank God, we just made it on time, and we did it with success and not to blow my own horn, but it was fucking amazing, and we walked out of class with an A. "We need to celebrate this A" I say to Peter as we walk down the corridor. "We should get milkshakes" he says stopping me in the corridor and shaking me with excitement, "ok, we can get milkshakes" I giggle.

Ned runs up to us and links arms with Peter and Me, "So are we going to the homecoming together?" he says. "Peter is asking Liz" I say, and Ned looks shocked. "What really Peter, that's so cool" he says, "Actually..." and then I freeze when I notice something. "Y/N, what wrong" Peter says, and they both look at what I am looking at to see that my locker has been broken into. I rush over to it seeing what has been taking, "Where is it, where is it" I say taking everything out of the locker and throwing it onto the floor. "What's wrong" I hear Ned say but I was too busy panicking. I could feel myself having another panic attack, and my arms being gripped me, and they took me to the bathroom and saw that it was Peter. "Y/N, look at me" he says, and I look at him, but I could feel my chest getting heavy.

"Breathe In, Breathe Out, Breathe In, Breathe Out" he says with a calming voice, and I do as he says. Something about Peter voice was so calm and helped me. I feel myself calming down, "Thanks so much Peter" I said walking over to sink and sit down. "No bother, after you had your first one, I asked Liz was I would do if it happened again" he says sitting down beside me. Just as he sat downside me my phone in my pocket went off and I took it out to see a message from an unknown number.

New Message!

"Secrets cannot stay secrets forever"

"Do as I say, and We won't have a problem"

I could feel my chest beginning to pick up again and my breathing was going out of control and Peter could notice too. "Y/N, what's wrong" he says, I did not answer and began to get my backpack and begin to walk out of the bathroom, but I was stopped by Peter grabbing my arm. "Please tell me what is wrong, I want to help" he says, "I just need to be alone right now, you need to focus on asking Liz out anyway" I say, and he lets go of my arm when I say that. I did not bother to stay for any reaction and left the bathroom and headed towards the main entrance, I could hear my name being called by MJ and Ned, but I did not stop, I decided to go to the place that I go where I go when I am upset. And now I was standing in front of my mother's grave.

"I'm sorry that I only visited you when I'm upset, you're the only one I can talk to about this stuff" I say sitting Infront of her grave with some flowers. "A lot has happened in the last 24hrs, and I really wish you were here to give me some advice" I started to feel the tears fill in my eyes. I told her about everything from my fight with Kate and becoming friends with MJ, that I knew that she would be happy about. And how father has been incredibly supportive lastly but has also been extremely strict after what happened in DC. "I know it because he loves me but damn, I need some independence" I say with a giggle, also that I was turned down by a guy I did not like, that I liked Peter that she would really like. I did not even notice how long it was until I got a text from my father asking me if I wanted a lift, but I told him that I would walk home.

Just as I texted him back, I started to hear some footsteps coming from behind me, I turn around to see Peter with flowers. "What are you doing here" I asked him, and he just stood beside me and put the flowers on the grave, "I didn't want to leave you upset, so I went to your house to see if you were here, but you weren't" he says. "How did you know that I was here" confused because I never told him where my mother was buried. "MJ" is all he said, "I hope you don't mind me coming, I didn't want come empty handed, and I remember you saying these were her favorite" he says handing me the flowers. "Peter, you didn't have to" I say to him putting the flowers with my ones, "They are beautiful, thank you" I say pulling him to a side hug.

I spent some time telling Peter stories about my mother and vice versa, it was nice having Peter here, it weirdly made me feel more comfortable. "Oh, Peter is going to ask his crush Liz out to homecoming" I said to my mother grave. "Actually, I don't think I will" he says looking down at the ground, "wait why" I turned to him, but he will not look up to me. "Because I.." Just before he could say anything my phone started to ring in my pocket, "Sorry, just need to take this" I got up and walked away from the grave.

"Hey, what's up" I say as I answer the phone call, "What's this about leaving school early" he asked me with a bit of anger but also concern in his voice. "Sorry I had a panic attack, and just needed to be with her right now" I say. He told me to head home and that we would talk about it when I am home, we say our goodbyes before I hang up.

I started to walk back to Peter when I heard him talking but he was not on the phone, he was talking to my mother. I could not hear exactly what he was saying because he was whispering and when I got close enough to listen, he stopped. "Talking to my mother" I asked him, and he quickly jumped, "oh yeah, just some advice" he says standing up. "Well, she good at advice so whatever she said it good" I said with a giggle. "Anyway, my father needs me home so I think I should go" I say picking up my stuff. "Can I walk your home" he asked, and I could not help but smile. I guess becoming friends with Peter was better than not having him in my life, we spent the time walking home playing eye spy. Until it started to rain, and I did not have a coat, so Peter took his hoodie off and handed it to me. "No thanks, it's yours" I said. "I wasn't asking" he said with the most serious face, it was kind of scary but kind of hot.

I put the hoodie on, and we continued the journey, we just walked in silence, but it was not an awkward silence but a comfortable one. We finally made it to my house, and I was beginning to take the hoodie off, but Peter stopped me, "Keep it" he says to me, "But it's raining Peter, you need something" I say. "So... you look better it in it" he says, and I definably could feel myself blushing. "Well, I see you in school tomorrow" I say, and it looked like he was about to say something but quickly changed his mind. "Yeah" he said looking disappointed in himself. He pulls me into a tight hug that lasted for a good few seconds before he lets go and just stares at me before just walking off.

I walked into the house to see my father waiting for me in the kitchen, "So you want to explain what that hug was" he says. I will explain everything that happened from the song book, my crush on Peter, the book going missing the first time and then the second time. I did not tell him about the message because I wanted to deal with it myself, if they did have it. They would release everything that was in it. Plus, I needed to figure it out who it was, and get it done with something happening. We have dinner before I head upstairs to my room and put the hoodie that Peter gave me on my desk. Then my phone vibrated again so I took it out and saw that it was unknown again.

New Message!

"Ditch Peter or else he finds out"

"And I will be watching to make sure" 

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

The last week of my life has been the most normal it has ever been since my mother passed away, of course I was still fighting with Kate and the note of locker but its be radio silence with them. And plus, everyone knows that Flash is all talk no action, the number of times he said he would do something and then does not is in the millions. I spent most of the week either studying with MJ and Ned or hanging around with my father, and now I was in the car on the way to school so I could go on a DC with the decathlon team for the tournament. During the car ride with my father, I got every talk that you could imagine which include sex, drugs, and alcohol and among more and so I had to remain him that it was a school event with all nerds.

We finally arrived at the school just as my father finished the birds and the bees talk while Taylor swift played in the background. I tried to quickly get away, before he could give me another talk that was not needed for this event, but I was quickly pulled into the tight hug. My father has been paranoid all week about me going away, he was worried that something bad would happen to me and he would lose me like my mother. But I assured him that nothing would happen and that I would keep him updated all weekend, and that I would get him something nice from DC.

"Now you better keep me updated, let me know when you get there" he shouts at me as I walk away, "I will, don't worry" I replied. I noticed that MJ and Ned were looking toward me at the bus and MJ had a big smug grin on her face, "Bye Mr. L/N" she says as she waves at him. "Bye Michelle, make sure Y/N calls me will you" he asked before getting in the car and she gives me a nod. I look over to see a very confused Ned, "How come he can call you Michelle, and I can't" he asked, "Well that's because I like him" she says with an evil grin. "So does that mean I can call you Michelle, Michelle?" I asked with just got an evil look from her that send shrives down my spine.

But that was our friendship, MJ was just that type of person who came across imitating at first but once you got to know her, she was really caring and kind. She acted mean but was not, whereas Kate acted mean and was mean, do not get me wrong she did have her good bits, but it was always at a cost. We were about to get onto the bus when Flash stuck his head out of a window, "Now Y/N, you can sit and just look pretty and let the smart ones do all the work" he said. Flash never really got over the whole ego knockdown and is trying to get me back and if this was what he meant with the note, then I really did have nothing to worry about. "Damn Flash, what would Kate think about you hitting on me" I playfully say to him. He did not like that at all and tried to produce something but could not, so he just stuck his head back it. 

All I could do was laugh, Flash was like one of them small dogs that would bark loud and you get scared until you see what they look like. Just then Mr. Harrington came off the bus "Great everyone is here, time to go" he says handing me a blazer that had the school logo on it. We all began to get into the bus when I noticed something running towards us, and as it got closer, I noticed that it was Peter running towards us. "Is that Peter" Ned said getting off the bus then I could hear Flash making a stupid joke as he always does and then MJ roasting him. I walked towards Peter who was now squatting down out of breath. "What are you doing here" I asked him while handing him the bottle of water from my bag.

He takes the bottle and drinks all of it in one go before handing it back to me, "Thanks for the bottle back" I jokily say. "Sorry, I had to run from my apartment to here" just then I hear a pair of footsteps and then " Yo Penis Parker, what are you doing here" he says, and I give him one of the evil looks that MJ been teaching me. "I'm here to join back the team" he says, and the smile of Flash face from his "good" name calling disappears. "Well, the team is full so bye" he says before grabbing my arm and pulling me to the bus.

"You have 3 seconds to get your hands off me, 1....2" I said, and he quickly let go and headed toward the bus. Just a few seconds later Flash came back off the bus with Mr. Harrington with him, "Flash told me you wanted to join back the team" he says. "Damn didn't know Randall was coming" I say which gets a laugh from Peter, Peter and I have been watching a lot of Recess lately. To be honest we have been spending a lot of time together since the night I stayed over, which is good and a terrible thing. Good because I get to spend a lot of time with him but bad because my feelings are getting a lot stronger. With all the feeling it helped me finish my song "Enchanted," well I have all the lyrics just not the melody yet. Peter has been teaching me how to play guitar but without the kissing part. I do not regret telling him that the kiss did not mean anything, yes it did mean something to me, but I did not want to ruin our friendship that was just beginning.

"Yes Sir" he says looking down at the ground as if he was a child that just got told off by his parents, "he can have my spot, I was just keeping his seat warm anyway" I say handing him my blazer. "There is no need to do that Y/N, he can just take Flash's spot" he said and told flash to give Peter his blazer before both got on the bus. "Thanks for getting me on the team, Y/N" He said, "But I didn't do anything" I said confused and he just laughed and walked towards the bus. When we got on the bus, there were just two seats left at the back of the bus, and I saw MJ sitting beside Ned, that never happens so I knew she was trying to get me to sit with Peter.

But I just decided to sit by myself just do some writing, I started to watch some YouTube videos about music writing until I started to feel myself dozing off. I looked like one of them baby video where the baby falls asleep at the dinner table but wakes them up when their head goes down. I wake up to the sound of someone laughing and open my eyes to see peter on the other side of the bus, he was recording me. "HEY" I tried to give him the scary look that I gave Flash, but I was too tired to do it. "I'm sorry but you looked so cute, and it was funny" he says putting his phone down. I just gave him a look of pity to deleting the video, but he would not.

"I'm not going to delete it, but I have a way to make it up" he says taking off his blazer and putting it onto his lap. "Lay down and use this as a pillow" he says, and I could not stop myself from blushing at the thought of laying down on his lap. He jesters me to come over to him, I was too tired to overthink it and just get up and go over and lay down putting my legs on the seat I was on. Just as I was falling asleep, I thought back to what Peter said, wait did he call me cute and then I was out cold.

I woke up to the feeling that someone was watching me, and I open my eyes to see that I was facing Peter chest. I looked up to see Peter staring back at me with a smile on my face, he finally noticed that I was awake and quickly looked out of the window, but I was still waking up, so I did not think anything of it and just got up. "How long was I out" I ask trying to stretch as much as possible while sitting down, but he did not answer me and just continued to look out the window. Then I heard my name being screamed out by one of my fellow teammates, "Hey Y/N awake" I looked around to see who it was to see that everyone was staring at me and Peter. "We are playing Truth or Dare, and Peter didn't want to play until you awake up" Betty said, I look back over at Peter who was still staring out the window, but I could see in the reflection that he looked like he was in deep thought. 

"I think I'll pass, but thanks for the offer" I said walking back over to my seat and taking out my song book. "Aw, Y/N is just a chicken" Flash says and starts making chicken noises, "Fine but I'm going first" I said annoying because I let Flash get under my skin. "Oh, let the fun begin" flash said, "Flash, Truth or Dare," "Truth" he says. "Why did you leave that not on my locker" I asked, he had to say it. "What note" he says looking confused, "Don't play dumb, you left a note on my locker after I embarrassed you in the meeting" I said getting more annoyed now that he was playing dumb. "I honestly don't know what you're talking about" he says and for the first time, I believed him because when Flash does something he owes up to it. "ok" I say sitting back in my seat, now Peter was looking at me again with a look of worry. 

We played a few more rounds until it was Betty turn, "Peter, Truth or Dare" she asked him. Peter was brought out of thought, "Emm, truth" he says unsure about it, "Do you have a crush on anyone" she says. Peter's face quickly starts to blush, I look at him and then over at Liz who now has a smile on her face. "Emm..." is all that he could get out, "Now remember you must be truthful" she says, "Yeah" he quickly said then looks at Liz but then at me. "Are they on this bus" she asks, "Hey, one question at a time" Ned quickly chines in. "Ok, next time then" she says sitting down. I knew that Peter had a crush on Liz, and the way he talked about her and looked at her, he was talking about her. 

Just then Mr. Harrington sits up, "Ok we are here, so I'm going to call out the rooms" he says taking out a list. He called out everyone names, Liz was with Betty, MJ was with Lisa then he said something that was a sign from the gods. "Y/N, you will be with .... Peter" he says, and I got excited at the thought of a sleepover with Peter. "Sir is it ok if Y/N and Ned swap" Peter asked, and my heart dropped when he said that I could ever look at him. He just let me sleep on his lap but now suddenly. 

"I promise his mother, I'd make sure he takes his medication" he added, and I see Ned give him a confused look. I got off the bus and I guess I looked upset because MJ walked over to me, "What was that all about" she asked, and I just shrug my shoulders. "I do not know; it is all just confusing. One minute he wants me to sleep on his lap, next he produces some excuses to swap rooms. Thankfully I do not get put with Flash but with another boy on the team, we get up to the room and Liz wants us to meet at dinner so that we can practice tomorrow. At the dinner peter is being really distance, he and Ned sit off at a table talking in secret. "What you think" I hear Liz say to me. "Huh" I say turning my attention back to her. "I'm saying that the team should all go for a swim to help with tomorrow, I saw it in a ted talk" she says, but I stop listening again thinking about everything that happened today with Peter. "Yeah, sounds good" I say without thinking or knowing what she said. "Great see you then" she says before getting up and walking away. 

Then something hit my shoulder and I look to see an angry MJ, "You do know what you agreed to" she says. "Mayb... nope" I said grabbing my empty plate and heading towards the cleaning station to leave your plate. "Well, you just agreed to a late-night swim with the team" she said, "What, I can't swim MJ" I say. "I know, this will be fun" she says with a smile, and we head up to her room and wait for the knock to tell us its time. MJ and I spent the time  watching Hunger Games with comments from MJ saying that this should be a real thing. We get through the first movie and haft way through the second one when we hear a knock on the door. And we open the door to see everyone waiting in their swimming stuff, "Now we just have to get Ned and Peter" Liz says with excitement, a little too excited. 

We finally got close to Peter's room, and I spotted him coming out of it, I told them to wait there so we do not make too much noise. As I get closer, I see that Peter is not in his swimming truck, but it is a hoodie and jeans, he finally notices me and gets a bit of a fright. "Oh, hey Y/N ... and Liz" he says, and I look behind me to see an excited Liz. I tried my best not to roll my eyes and just put my attention back to Peter, "Great timing, we were about to knock at your door" I said and was butted over by Liz. "Yeah, we are about to go swimming" she says, and waves and I hear everyone, and they run pass us and Flash spanks Peter on the ass. "So, are you coming?" I asked hoping he would say yes, "I was .... I was going to go study in the ... in the business center" he said. I could tell something was off because I have noticed Peter gets jittery when he is nervous.

"You don't need to study; you are like the smartest guy I have ever meet" Liz says and honestly fuck rolling my eyes I was about to get sick with this cheesy line of Liz. "She's right though, you don't need to study" I added. I zooned out because I was getting angry with this interaction between Peter and Liz, he was looking at her like I looked at him. It was clear the person on the bus that he was talking about was Liz and not me. Why would it be me, I was brought out of thought when Liz threw a bar at Peter before dragging me off to the others. I could help but look back at Peter who was just standing there looking back at me, I knew that it was time that I got over him finally. 

But Peter never showed up to the late swim, even though I really did not want to go it was really fun. I spent most of the night with MJ and Betty trying to teach me how to swim. Well, I should say Betty tried to help me as MJ just called out supportive things from the sidelines as she read her book. We all said goodnight and headed upstairs to bed, I stopped by Peter and Ned's room to check on them since they never came down with us. I knocked on the door, but no one came to it, so I knocked again and still nothing. They must have headed to bed early, I guess. I head down to my room; we have a busy day tomorrow. 

THE NEXT DAY

 wake up to the sound of Mr. Harrington knocking on my door, giving us a ten-minute warning that we are leaving soon. I get up and get dressed in the uniform that everyone must wear on the team and get all my things ready and head out to the bus. Everyone starts showing up one by one and Ned walks out by himself without Peter. He tells us that Peter had some family stuff that he had to deal with, but I do not remember Peter ever mentioning that he had family out here, but he says he will meet us at the decathlon. We spent the bus ride testing each other and Flash demanding that if Peter does not show up that he should have his spot back, and Mr. Harrington agrees to that deal. We get to the decathlon, and they tell us that we must turn our phones off, which is bad because me and Ned try to ring Peter, but he did not answer and now Flash to go on with us. We go on and it is Me, Flash, MJ, Liz and Ned and we all answer questions to get our teams some points, until we get to the final question;

The room got quiet as everyone was trying to figure out the answer before everyone else. Then I hear a buzzer and our school's name being called out and I look up to see that MJ has buzzed in. "Zero" is all that she says, and the room goes quiet again waiting to hear if she was correct or not. "Correct" the women says and it hit us, WE WON, WE ACTUALLY WON. We all got so excited that we all started to hug each other, well everyone but me and Flash. Mr. Harrington decide that we would celebrate the win by going to the Washington Monument, MJ did not want to go up because it was built by slaves, so I decide to stay with her, but she told me to go up because she knew that it was a dream of mines to visit it. As we walked into the building Ned took out his phone and started to call someone, I heard him say Peter's name and then he began to whisper. "Hey, is that Peter" I say walking over to Ned, nods to me so I take the phone off him.

"Peter, What the fuck" I said to him on the phone, "Y/N, Put Ned back onto the phone please its important" he says, "Not until you tell me where you are and why you been acted different" I asked. He ignores the question that I just asked and asks me to put Ned onto the phone. But before I could say anything Liz took the phone, took the phone and I put it into the scanner and onto the elevator. And of course, Flash had to make one of his smart comments, "Can I be the one to tell Peter he's expelled" he said, and I could not help it but hit him on the head and pretend that I did not do it. Which of course did not work, and I got into trouble. 

As we went up the tour guide told us some facts about the Washington Monument that were not that interesting. Just then there is a loud bang, and the elevator stops. "What the fuck was that" I asked, which of course I got into more trouble for cursing. Ned throws his bag onto the floor, and we can see that it is burning, then we all look up at the ceiling and it looks like it was cut through with a laser. And that is when the whole elevator started to panic, of course not me... Man who am I kidding, I've never been more frightened in my life. "This is Flash's fault" I scream, and he looks at me, "How?" he shouts at me, "I don't know but I know you have something to do with it" I shout back at him. The tour guide women tell us to calm down and that the safety system are working, and that we are safe in here AS IF THAT GOING TO KEEP US CALM BRENDA WTF!!! Like does she think we are stupid, we are in an elevator that could collapse at any time, and she tells us we are safe. Again, may I say .... WHAT THE FUCK BRENDA!

And the worst thing that could happen was I started to have a bad panic attack, I could feel my chest collapsing and my breath begin to be increasing up. "Y/N having a panic attack" I hear betty says, and I feel a hand on me and look up to see Liz. "Y/n, look at me breath In and Out," I hate that out of everyone that could be helping me that it was Liz. I wanted to hate her for being the one that Peter liked but I could not, I started to breathe in and out just like she said, and it was starting to work. Brenda then opened the emergency door on the roof and started to climb out of it, and I could see that they had people at the elevator door waiting to help us. They started to get us off one by one, my breathing started to pick up again and Liz helped me focus again, of course Flash had to be next and pushes pass everyone with the trophy and climbs up. With all his movement the elevator dropped down and my breath was back and there was no stopping it. I was too deep into the panic attack, I was about to die, I should have listened to my father when he told me that something might happen. Then the cable that was holding up the elevator snapped and dropped, and I thought I was about to pass out. 

But then it stopped, I looked around to see Ned, Liz and Mr. Harrington were left in the elevator. OMG IT STOPPED!!! And just as though they God hated me it began to drop again and then SPIDER-MAN!! LET ME REPEAT THAT!!! SPIDER-MAN fell into the elevator. He shoots a web out and the elevator stops but let us be real he cannot hold an elevator with five people for too long, I've honestly accepted death at this point and the fact that Flash got to survive pissed me off. He goes flying and stops himself on the roof and does this weird New York accent that he did not do the last time I meant him. Ned started to jump around, and Spider-Man gave out to him and which I would have found funny if I were not having a panic attack. 

He starts to get everyone off, starting with Mr. Harrington first and he just left us in the elevator, then Ned and Liz. Just Liz gets off the elevator and to save the web snap and the elevator drops, and I froze as I watch myself drop down. I close my eyes and wait for it, but it doesn't come, and I feel like I am hanging. I open my eyes to see that Spider-Man had a web around my hand and has saved me. I finally got to safety and had a checkup with the doctors on site. Of course, when I got out MJ ran over to me and pulled me into a tight hug.

I hear my name being called and I look up to see Peter running towards me, he pulls me into a tight hug, and I hear him say something. "I thought I lost you, I was so scared" as he kept me in the hug. The bus ride home was the quickest we have ever been, we were all process what just happened, we get to the school, and I get off the bus to see Aunt May and my father talking to each other until the notice us, my father run over and pulls me into a hug and tell me I am never allowed to go on a trip again and we head home.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

I woke up once again to the sweet and wonderful noise of my amazing alarm going off. I did not want to get up, I wanted five more minutes, I was having a dream about performing at the American Music Awards and My mother was in the front row. But I did not want to be late, so I headed out of bed and started to get ready for school. I walked over to my closet and put on a baggy black and white flannel and ripped jeans. I put them on one of my favourite pairs of vans and grabbed my bag before heading downstairs.

When I get downstairs, as I got closer to the kitchen, I could start to smell bacon, as I walked into my kitchen, I saw my father was cooking. He turns around and notices me "Morning Y/N," he says putting a plate of bacon and eggs on the table. I sit down and smiled at him; I was happy to see that my father was finally acting like himself again. He sits down across from me and begins to eat, "oh and before I forget I will drop you at school" he says before putting a fork load of bacon in his mouth. "I was offering you yesterday, but you ran out before I could say anything" he says with the bacon in his mouth. 

We eat and talk about what we have planned today, of course, I talk about school. He talked about how the restaurant is doing great and how he should have more free time. It is good that he would have free time, meaning we can spend more time together. We finish and grab things before heading outside to the car, I asked if we could stop outside Kate's house to also give her a lift to school.

We get to school, and we get out of the car, and I tell my father that I will see him later. We walk towards the school doors, and I see Peter and Ned walking into the school. He notices me and waved at me; I can feel my face being too heated up from blushing. I wave back at him before he disappears into the school. I remember back on our small interaction yesterday when I bumped into him in the halls. And then he checked up on me later that day, he was so sweet and kind.

"You're welcome, Y/N" I was brought out of my thought with Kate saying that, "what" I said confused because she just randomly said that. "I gave him your number because after you left, he seemed worried," she said. "Why would he be worried about me, we are strangers," I said. "I don't know, I didn't ask," she says as we walk over to our lockers to get out books.

I looked over to see Peter at this locker with MJ and Ned, Peter and Ned were talking while MJ was just reading a book. MJ and I used to be friends when we were kids, it was the three of us. It was Me, Kate, and MJ, when you saw one of us, you knew that the other two were not far behind. But MJ and Kate got into a fight while I was on holiday and I tried to find out what happened, but Kate would not tell me, and MJ ghosted me that whole summer. I did not even notice Kate walking over, so she scared me when she spoke. 

"Maybe this will be the year that you will date," Kate says, which causes me to jump because I was deep into thought about everything. "Stop, we haven't even said more than one conversation," I say, she does not say anything she just gives me a creepy smile and winks like she was up to something and then walked off. I chased after her trying to find out what she was up to because her plans never ended well for me. 

The bell went as I walked into class and saw Ned and Peter were sitting beside each other as always. I went to sit beside Kate as I always do but Flash was sitting there, she notices me, and I give her a WTF look and she gives me a Fuck Off look back and points at the seat beside Nathan. I let out a loud sigh before walking over to him, it is not like I did not like him it was just that we barely talked except for that one night. And every time I was around him, Kate was always there so I was never around him by myself. So,  it was awkward as hell sitting beside him. He was just staring at Kate; it was creepy. 

"What does he have that I do not have," he says turning around to me looking for an answer. "I don't know, I'm as confused as you are when it comes to them two," I said taking my stuff out of my bag for the class. The teacher walks in, and the class begins, it was just a normal class about science of course now with smart comments from Nathan about how he did not understand any of it. Luckily, Nathan was attractive because he did not have one brain cell in that brain of his. 

Just before the class ended, she announced that we would have group assignments in pairs. Katie looks at me then at Peter and gives that creepy smile again. She was up to something, and I needed to stop it before it was too late, but I didn't know what it was. I looked over at Peter and I could see Peter and Ned doing their little handshake, which meant that they were pairing up. 

"Oh, and before I forget I picked the pairs, I have made a list and will be putting it on the board," she says which gets a few groans and moans from some students. I looked back over at Kate and the smile was gone, and it looked like she was thinking.  The bell goes and then she puts the list up on the board before everyone rushes over to see who their parents were.

Kate rushes over to the list and is the first one to get there, I walk over to and look through trying to find my name on the list. 

Tom Holland & Jocab Batalon                                         

Zendaya Coleman & CJ Kenna                                       

Marisa Tomei & Laura Harrier                                       

Nathan Patson & Flash Thompson                               

Y/N  Y/L/N & Kate Daly 

Peter Parker & Ned Leeds 

I was paired with Kate, which I mean could have been worse. It just basically means that I would have to do most of the work while she does nothing but the pictures.  "Hey Ned, could you swap partner with me. Y/N get so controlling when it comes to projects, and I can't do it anyone with him" she says. I shot her a dirty look and I get a smile in response, I look over at Ned who was looking at Peter. "Oh, but Peter and I have a good idea -" she doesn't even let him finish, "Oh please Ned, I'll put in a good word to Liz" she says 

Peter and Ned talk for a bit before they come to a decision that they would swap with us. Panic starts to take over my body and I can feel myself getting a little lightheaded. I mean I was happy that I was with him, but I was nervous about it. I always acted weird around Peter, I try to act normal, but I act anything but normal. 

I look over at Kate who is now talking to Nathan, I have a feeling she is now trying to get him to partner with Ned. Of course, he agrees because he is in love with her and will do anything for her, which I feel like she uses for her advantage which I don't think is fair. I look over to see Peter walking towards me with a smile on his face. "I guess we are partners, if you want you can come over to mine later and we can start it," he says. I couldn't say anything because I was still panicking about being a partner up with Peter, I just stare at him not knowing what to say in case I fuck it up. 

"Earth to Y/N," he says while laughing, I quickly remembered what happened. "Oh yeah, that's sound great" I answer back trying to ignore the fact that I took ages to answer. He smiles at me, "grand, we can plan it during lunch" he says before joining Ned in the hallways. As soon as he walks away, Kate walks over to me with a smile on her face. "You're welcome again" she says before walking over to flash.  

The rest of the classes dragged in; Peter wasn't in for some of them, and Kate didn't see beside me for English and would avoid me in the hallway. Something happened and I needed to know what it was.  The bell went for lunch, so I headed to my locker to get my lunch. 

I see Kate and Nathan are at Kate's locker. They were talking about something but stopped when I got near enough. "What are you talking about," I asked, they both looked at each other before looking back at me.

"Oh, nothing, just talking about a science project" Kate lied, she was my best friend, so I knew when she was lying, and she was lying to me right now. But I did not know why or what it was. She finished at her locker, and we headed towards the canteen, then grabbed our food and headed towards our normal table when I heard my name being called.

"Y/N, over here" I hear someone shout, I look around to see Peter waving at us to come over to him. I begin to walk over but I am stopped by Kate, "Emm, I think we should sit at are normal tables" she says.  "Well, Peter invited us over there. So, I going to sit beside him" I say before walking off. I look over to see Kate and Nathan going toward the other table.  I don't know why she was acting like this, one minute she tried to get us together and then the next she avoided him. 

I walked over and took a seat beside Ned, who was sitting across from Peter, and MJ were sitting at the other table. She looks up and sees me, I smile at her, but she just goes back to her book. "Don't mind her, she ignores everyone" Peter says while taking out a sandwich from a school bag. "Yeh, she can be mood sometimes" Ned says which gets him a death stare from MJ, she looks over at me before going back to her book. 

We ate lunch and talked about different stuff, about Star Wars, which I had never seen before, and Ned and Peter looked at me like I had three heads. And demanded that I watch them soon before the new one comes out. Just then Liz Allen walked in and got Peter and Ned's attention, she and her friends were putting up banners for homecoming that was happening next month. The table went quiet as both boys watched her every move, it was kind of creepy, I just wished Peter looked at me like that and not at Liz. 

"Did Liz get a new top?" Peter said as they both stared at Liz. "No, we've seen that before but never with that skirt " Ned replied. I just stared at them while it happened, "we should stop staring before it gets weird" Peter says. "Too late" is all I could get out; they both just look at me. I can feel jealousy filling my body, I had my answer. Peter liked Liz, so I had no chance. I noticed that MJ was looking at me like she was studying me. 

"Can we talk?" she says, damn I forgot what her voice sounded like with how long it's been since we've talked. I nod in response before grabbing my stuff and following her outside, I saw Kate walking over and she looked pissed, but she was stopped by Liz when she asked her about the homecoming.  I followed MJ outside and we sat at one of the benches outside, we sat in awkwardness for a while because neither of us knew what to say. 

I decided to be the one to break the silence, but I guess we both had the same idea because at the same time we both asked each other how we have been.  We both laugh at how awkward it is, "You go first" she says laughing. "Well, I've been good, thanks what about you" I say with a smile on my face. "I've been good too, I just wanted to apologize," she says. "For what," I asked, "For not being there when you need me" she says, I could hear that she was fighting back tears.

The summer with Kate and MJ's fight, which led to MJ ghosting me all summer, was also the year that my mother passed away. I was mad at MJ for never contacting me or saying anything, but I eventually moved on because I never liked to hold grudges. "It's Ok MJ, I forgave you a long time ago" I say, a smile appears on her face, and she pulls me into a hug. "I've missed you; I wish I didn't let the fight with Kate affect our friendship," she says. I was about to ask what happened when the bell rang to tell us that lunch was over. 

I grabbed my things and gave MJ my number before heading off to class. I was happy that I was able to fix my friendship with MJ, and I'm sure my mother would be too. My last two classes were a double music class, which I was thankful for because I had so many emotions I had to get out. I walk straight over to the back room and take out my book. I think back about Ned and Peter talking about Liz and the way he looked at her.

I don't blame them for looking at her because who wouldn't, she was pretty, smart, and kind, there was no chance of winning with that. Also, she was a girl, she ticked all the boxes for Peter. I hated her for it, but it was not her fault. I tried my best not to let my feelings for Peter influence my feelings for Liz, but jealousy got the best of me all the time. All I could think about was this line repeatedly, I needed to put it down, when I wrote what I was thinking about, it was like the thought was being taken out of my mind.

"Please don't be in love with someone else Please don't have somebody waiting on you Please don't be in love with someone else Please don't have somebody waiting for you"

All I could think about was Peter and Liz. What if she did like Peter and Peter asks her out to homecoming, I did not want to think about it anymore, so I focused my attention on something else. I still had to go over to Peter's house after school, so I need to get over it before he catches on. 

It was time for me to move on, but there was no one in the school that I found as attractive as Peter. Everyone else was just meh when compared to Peter. Maybe I just need to take a break from boys. Focus on my music, the school did a talent show at the end of the first term just before winter break. 

I would never normally think about doing it, but this year felt different this year felt like my year. It was not the year I would date Peter as Kate said but the year of music. I spent most of the double class trying to play the guitar, but I still could not get the hang of it. Then the bell went to tell us that the school day was over, I grabbed all my stuff and made sure that my bag was closed before leaving.

I made my way to my locker to find Peter and Ned standing there waiting for me. He notices me and starts to walk before me, "We never got to plan about going to mine, so I thought I'd meet you at your locker" he says. He looked all sweaty like he was just running, "oh yeah sorry, when do you want me to come over" I asked, I walk over taking everything I need into my bag.

"Well, I was thinking maybe we could head over now," he says looking down at the floor. "Yeah, I just have to text my father and let him know" I reply. I take out my phone and click on my father's contact. I let him know that I was heading over to a friend's home to do some homework and will be home later. 

I finished my locker, and we headed toward the front entrance of the door. Just as we got out of the school, I got a notification from my father, telling me that it was ok and that he will see me later. I look up at my phone to see Peter and Ned talking about something, I look behind me to see Liz walking over to a car and getting in. 

"My father said it's fine, so I can come over," I say which takes Peter out of his thought. He smiles at me and says bye to Ned before we head off in the direction that I am guessing his apartment was in. On the walk we talked about our lives, I told him about my mother, and he told me about his parents. It was nice getting to know Peter, he was a kind and caring person. We finally make it to his apartment block, and he takes out his keys to unlock the door.

We walk into a small but cosy apartment, as we walk into the apartment there is a loud bang coming from the kitchen. "Wait here," he says before disappearing around the corner. I hear him talking to someone, but I cannot make out what they were saying. I stand there awkwardly for a couple of minutes before Peter comes back around the corner with a brown-haired lady. She looks at me then looks at Peter, I guess he did not tell her that I was coming over.

"Aunt May, this is Y/N L/N," he says introducing me to her, I put my hand out for a handshake. But she hits it out of her way and pulls me into a hug, "we are a hugging family" she says while hugging me. She pulls away before grabbing her purse, "well I'm going to grab some food, Y/N you're welcome to stay for dinner" she says. And I thank her for the offer while she heads out the door.

After disappearing, Peter leads me down the hallway to his bedroom, he opens his door to a medium side room with bunk beds again the wall, the walls were covered in nerd stuff from Star Wars and other things I did not know. I looked around taking it all in, I did not know what I was expecting his room to look like it, but it was not this. He sits on his bed and motions for me to come to sit beside him.

"So, what do you want to do the project on," I said to him, "actually I was thinking about maybe asking you about yesterday," he says, not looking at me but at the floor. "What about yesterday, I told you I am fine Peter," I said. He finally looks at me, "I know but I was just worried because you ran out of class" He speaks. He looked concerned, but I do not know why.

We had just only become friends, "it's just that I lost something really important that belongs to my mother," I said looking at him, "I thought I lost it forever, and I got upset at myself about it" I continue. "What did you lose if you don't mind me asking," he says, I did not know what to say, oh just a songbook that my mother gave me that had all the songs about my feeling for you. "Just a songbook my mother gave me," I said leaving out the rest of it. He looks at me with a smile, "you write songs" he asked, and I nod. I did not want to say anything else, so I just looked around the room to find something to change the subject.

When I spot a guitar hidden beside the desk, I walk over and looked at him. " I didn't know you played," I said, taking the guitar in my hands. " I used it; my uncle got it for me. But I have not played it since he passed away" he says I could tell that it was hard for him to talk about it. So, I did not ask any more questions. " I've always wanted to play it, but I'm not good at it," I said putting the guitar down and heading back to bed.

Peter gets up and walks over and grabs the guitar, "Maybe I can show you something," he says walking over and handing me the guitar. We spent a couple of minutes with him trying to explain to me where to put my fingers, but I could not get the hang of it, "come here, I'll show you" he says coming behind me. He grabs both of my hands with his and puts them in the right places. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, and it made me have butterflies in my stomach.

He puts my fingers onto different strings then tells me to pull them, and it places a note. I turned around to thank him but noticed how close our lips were to each other. I just look at him not knowing what to do and something tells me to lean in so I do, just then Aunt May walks in and causes us to jump. "Hey, I was wondering if you would want to go over to that new place across the street," she says.

She does even let us reply before we are pushed outside the door and towards the elevator. We walked over to a restaurant called The Prachya Thai and we get a table for 3. We sat down and May asked me questions about my life, and I would catch Peter looking at me but would look away when I caught him. We get our food, and we begin to eat and then it awkward silences. Aunt May notices and gives us a look before talking, she turns around to Peter.

"I thought you liked larb, too early, not early enough, how time do I have to say larb before someone speaks" she says. I look over at Peter who is just looking at his place, I don't know what to say after the nearly-almost kiss we had in his room. "You know I larb you" she says to peter. He looks at me then in May, "It's just I'm tired with school and the apprenticeship, it a lot of work" he says. She then talks about how she is not a fan of Tony and how he's a bad influence.

"What does your mother think about tony, Y/N" she says, I look down at my food not knowing what to say. "Y/N, mother passed away a couple of years ago," Peter says, and the smile drops from Aunt May's face. "Oh Y/N, I'm sorry". "It's okay Miss Parker, and I think she would feel the same way" I say with a smile on my face. I liked talking about my mother because it was like she was still alive. We ate our food before Aunt May paid the bill. Peter and I are waiting outside for her. 

"Can we talk about what happened in my room" I said, "About what" he says. Before I could say anything, else Aunt May walked out, "So Y/N would you like a lift home" she says, I politely decline saying that my house isn't far from here. I said goodbye to Peter and May before heading off, but all I could think about was the almost kiss.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

It had been a week since I had decided that I was going to get my revenge on Kate, And after all the time of putting together the perfect plan, now I just had to make sure that my plan worked, and the very first step was to make sure that Nathan moved on from Kate, then when he is not focused on protecting her and he would tell me something that can stop her finally. I know I am making her sound like an evil villain like the ones in the Disney movies but honestly, they were not as manipulative as she can be. And let us just be honest I was doing Nathan a favor by setting him up with Betty at least he had a chance with her instead of just following her around like a lost puppy.

After deciding on how I was going to approach the whole setting Nathan up without him getting suspicious, I finished at my locker and headed toward the exit hoping to bump into Nathan. Just as I was getting close to the exit, I saw Nathan walking out and he was alone. "HEY NATHAN, WAIT UP!!!" I called out to him so that he would stop, I finally caught up to him but needed to stop so that I could catch my breath because this was the first real exercise in my life. We both just stood there as he waited for me to catch my breath.

"So...." he just looks at me with a confused expression on his face, "Oh I was wondering if you wanted to walk home together" I asked him. "But you never wanted to walk home with me before" he said, and he was right, Nathan and I were Never really close so even when we were friends, we never walked home together even though he lived down the road to me. "Well do you want to or not" I was too out of breath to try and come up with an excuse, "Yeah, sure" he said before beginning to walk again. The first five minutes of the walk was awkward because none of us were talking, so I decided that I needed to say something.

"So... any girls catching your eye" I asked after a couple more minutes of awkward silences, this was the first time that me and him were spending time alone with each other. "Y/N, why?" he asks as he stops walking, "Because I know someone who is into you, and come on you can do so much better" I say. He just looks at me and then it finally hits him, "Oh Y/N, I think you're a great guy but I'm not into du-" I stop him before he completes his sentence. "Oh god no, I was talking about Betty" I say trying not to be hurt by being rejected by a guy that I didn't even like, "OH" he says with a giggle and continues to walk.

"Come on she pretty and also smart plus you both want to be in the media industry" I say, he goes to say something, but I stop him. "Plus, again you can do so much better," "Y/N, you know I cannot..." he was about to say before I cut him off again for the third time. "Listen Nathan, I know we aren't close but come on, we both know you need to move on" I say, and he just stops again. "Kate is blackmailing you isn't she" he says, and I just freeze, "What... No" I say trying to play it off, but I knew I was not. "Come on, I wasn't born yesterday, you have never showed interest in my Love Life and now suddenly" he says, and I started to feel bad for using him.

"Listen Nathan, I'm sor.." I say but this time Nathan cuts me off, "No, you are right. It is time to move on but also put an end to Kate's reign of terror" he says. "And how are we going to do that" I asked, and he pulls out his phone, "Well I was saving his incase Kate tried to blackmail me, but you need it more" and shows me what he has on the phone and turns out Kate been cheating on Flash with everybody under the sun, but then he shows me something that I had never seen it before. "Wow, this is so juicy, how did you get these" I asked, "I have my ways" he says with a smirk.

On the way home, we tried to produce different ideas that we could do to expose Kate till we decided. The plan that we land on would be that we make a video of all the messages with the guys, and we would play it at homecoming when she gets nominated as Homecoming Queen. Which also meant that we would have to rig the voting to make sure that Kate won, which would not be unexpected because she was promoting it all over the school with posters and cupcakes. Now we just needed to get more of the messages because the photos that Nathan had were not even the worst of it all, he only had time to take a picture of a few on them so we needed to produce a plan, I hate to get Kate's phone so I could download all the messages and then it hit me. Luckily, Nathan told me that Kate saved everything to her cloud, so all her messages were on her laptop as well.

So now we just had to make sure that I could get to Kate laptop without anyone seeing, "I think we should have a sleep over like old times" I said to Kate, we were currently sitting at the lunch table, I spent a lot of the night trying to produce an effective way to get access to Kate's laptop. And with this I would be in Kate house where she keeps her laptop, but I just need to produce a distraction, but I could not stay focus to the plan because my eyes kept wondering over to the table that Peter was sitting at with Ned and MJ. I missed hanging around with them but if this plan works it will not be long before I am back over there. The only positive thing about this was not being around Peter was that it was easy to move on and not have to hear about him and Liz.

"That's a great idea, we should go shopping for homecoming outfits before" she says, "oh what dress are you going to get Y/N" Flash says. "That's so funny, I forgot to laugh" I say, "Oh Y/N, he's just messing with you" she says. "But we should definitely have a sleepover tonight" she says and it like God didn't hate me enough with having to spend the night with Kate, "What's this about a sleepover" I hear a voice behind me, but I hope it did not belong to who I thought it was .... Then Liz sat down at the table.

"Oh Y/N and I are going to have a sleepover after homecoming shopping, you could come" she says, "oh, sounds like a great idea, Betty and I needed to go dress shopping anyway" she says, "oh who you are going with" she asked. "Well, I'm going with Peter, and Betty is going with Nathan" she says, "Oh really" she says staring at Nathan. "Well, you know what they say the more the merrier" she says with her famous fake smile. What could not be more fun than going dress shopping with the girl that your crush asked out? And the full day having to listen to her talking about her date with Peter.... That is the definition of FUN! And when I finally came back after the thought of hell, it was now Kate, Liz, Betty going to the shopping/sleepover now. But I could use them as a distraction while I was getting the messages.

After a couple of minutes of planning Liz finally let the table and Kate's eye went straight to Nathan, "I didn't know you liked Betty" she asked. "Well, it was time I moved on, and Betty is really smart and funny" he says, and I could tell this was driving her crazy, "oh .... I am so happy for you" she was not even hiding it at this point. You could tell that she was being fake but there was also maybe a hit of jealousy, but before anything else could be said she changed the subject. "So... Y/N, who are you going to go to homecoming with" she asked, "Yeah, even Penis Parker has a date, and you don't" Flash added on, and I really had to bite my tongue so I would not bad mouth Flash again.

"Oh, I don't think I'll going with anyone" I say, Homecoming was the last place that I wanted to be. The only reason I was going was to do the plan, I was just hoping that I would not have to watch Peter being all Lovey Dovey with Liz the whole night. And I did not even want to think about how Kate and Flash were going to be all night, but now I had to spend the night with Kate, Liz and Betty and then go homecoming shopping with them. It was just a week... a week of pretending to be friends with Kate.... a week of pretending to be happy about Liz going out with Peter.... boy this was going to be a long.... long... long week.

The more I think about it, my life will never be back to normal. I knew MJ would forgive me for what I had to do because she understood what she was like. But even if Pete forgave me, did I really want to watch in fall in love with someone else? That would be more painful than anything that Kate would do to me, I think Nathan could tell that I was starting to regret all this, "Hey Y/N, can you help me at my locker" he said before grabbing my hand and pulling me off into the hallway. He dragged me all the way to the bathroom.

"Please telling me you're not rethinking this because I pretty sure that Kate is planning my blackmail as we speak" he says. "No, I am still doing it... I was just thinking about what happens after" I say walking over to the sinks and sitting on the counter, "What do you mean" he asked while sitting beside me. "Well, I'm doing all this so that Peter doesn't find out about my feelings for him but is it all worth it when after I have to pretend to be happy for him and Liz" I confessed. "Wow, I did not know... I am sorry" is all that I hear before he pulled me into a hug, "I understand how you're feeling" he continues.

Nathan was the other positive thing about this whole experience, the more time I spent with him, the more I realized how much of a great person he really is. And he is the only person who would understand my whole situation, and I was happy that he was finally moving on. "Thanks Nathan" I say before he leaves me alone in the bathroom just as I finally got myself together, somebody walked into the bathroom.

I turned around to see that it was Peter, but he looked like he was upset. I did not know if I would say something, but I hated to see him upset. "Are you ok, Peter?" I asked him but he just ignored me, "Peter, I know you are mad at me, but I just want to know if you're okay" I say and he just turns around and looks at me, it was like he wanted to say something but did not know what. And after a few seconds of us just looking at each other, he finally says something. "If you really want to know, I lost my internship with Tony" he finally says, "Aww Peter... I am sorr-" but he cuts me off before I could finish.

"Don't act like you care" he says, and I could see the anger in his eyes, "I do care Pete-" but he cuts me off again before shouting over me. "NO, YOU DON'T... BECAUSE IF YOU DID YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT ME ... YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT ME FOR FLASH ... IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANYONE Y/N" he shouts and I just stand there and take it all in because it was true, yes it was not the full truth and I really wanted to tell him the full truth but I could not so I just let him take out his anger.

"I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU THAT I LIKE... NO, I CAN'T DO THIS" he says before walking out of the bathroom, and I was just trying to fight back the tears, but I just could not anymore, and it all just came out. After a couple of minutes of ugly crying in the bathroom the bell went to tell me that lunch was over, so I quickly splashed my face with water to make it look less like I was crying but you could still tell. The next class was science, which I was just avoiding all week at this point because it was the class that I sat beside Peter in, but I could not miss it anymore, so I had to go and luckily it was a double. Luckily, we did not have a project that we had to do so I could sit where I wanted.

I just stood outside the door and just watched as everyone walked in and got ready for the class, Ned walked past me and gave me a look, but he was not with Peter. He decided to go home after the whole bathroom scene, which just made me feel worse about hurting Peter. And what I did the whole time was think about how much I hated myself for hurting Peter, all I wanted was to walk out of school and just find Peter and hug him like he did to me when I was sad at my mother's grave. But I could not so I just spent the rest of the day trying to think of how I was going to get Peter to forgive me if he even let me speak to him again.

The final bell went to tell me that it was finally time that school was over, and all I wanted to do was to get into bed and never get out of it. As I walk out of class, I hear the same annoying high school screams from behind me and I turn around to see Liz and Betty standing behind me. They quickly run over to me and link arms with me and begin to drag me off the hallway, "I am so excited for the sleepover/shopping trip" Liz says as Betty nods in agreement. With everything that happened with Peter, I had forgotten that I agreed to do this sleepover/ shopping trip and it was the last thing that I wanted to do.

But I just plastered on a fake smile and just pretended that everything was fine, "Me too, this will be so fun" I smiled through all the pain. As we walked around the school, I tried to keep an eye out for Peter but there was no sign of him. We all agreed to meet at Kate's house at around 7pm and I just head straight home, I knew I said that I would not lie to my father, but he did not know about the whole Kate blackmailing thing into hurting Peter and MJ, and I was planning to keep it that way. As I walked into the door, I did not even bother to say hello to my father, I just headed straight to my room and get into my bed.

I felt nothing... just numbness, I was debating that I should just stay home and just forget about the plan and just stay in bed forever. I heard a knock on my door, but I did not answer because I just wanted to be alone, but I guess they did not take the hint because I heard my door opening and closing. And then I could smell some food, then my bed dipping beside me from someone sitting on it. I could not see who it was, but it was not like it was my mother back from the grave, "Hey...." I look out to see my father sitting on the end of my bed.

"What are you doing here" I asked because I was confused on why he was in here, "Oh well, you see... I live here" he says handing me a plate of spaghetti, he then sits beside me, and we sit in silence as we eat. "So, you going to tell me why you came straight up to bed" he asked, and I do not reply, it is like he knew that I did not want to talk because he gets up from my bed and over to my Tv and grabs the remote. "Well, if you don't want to talk, we can just watch a movie" he says turning on Disney Plus and scrolling through it all.

"How about Love, Simon" he says with a little giggle, "really... Really" I say grabbing the remote off him and turning on a random Star Wars movie. "Since when do you like this" he asked, and I go back to not talking again trying to take my mind off anything, but I guess I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up the Tv was off, and it was dark outside. I just lay there for a bit trying to wake up more before my phone started to ring.

I grabbed my phone and answered it without even looking at who was calling me, which I was soon going to regret. "Where the fuck are you" I hear them say on the other side of the line. "What" I say still haft sleep from waking up from my nap. "LIZ AND BETTY ARE HERE, AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ALONE ... SO, GET OVER NOW" they quickly yelled at me, then I realized that it was Kate calling me and I looked at my clock to see that it was now haft seven. "Oh shit, sorry I was watching a movie with my father and fell asleep" I say, "Well you want to get over here before I start spilling secrets" she says before hanging up.

I grabbed everything that I needed before telling my father that I was starting at MJs for the night, he offered to give me a lift, but I had to decline because I was not going to MJ; s. And after a 30-minute walk that could have been shorter if I just told him the truth, I finally arrived at Kates house and before I even could ring the doorbell. The door flew open, and I was pulled into a tight hug and all I could smell was a strong perfume that only belonged to Mrs. Nolan. "OMG Y/N, IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG" I hear her say as I slowly suffocate from the tight hug, she was giving me, "Honey let him go, he can't breathe" I hear Mr. Nolan say from behind us, and she finally let me go.

"Sorry" she says with a small giggle, "the girls are upstairs in Kate's room" Mr. Nolan says before him, and Mrs. Nolan disappeared into the sitting room, and I headed downstairs. If being friends with Kate taught me one thing, that was how to be fake, and I was going to need it. I did not have anything against Liz, she was the one that helped me in the elevator when I was having my panic attack, I just did not want to have to listen to her talk about Peter all night.

I walk into Kate's room to see them all sitting on the floor looking through homecoming magazines, "Y/N, take god you're here" Liz saying standing up and pull me over to them. She shows me two different magazines, one was a lovely red dress and the other one was a yellow dress that was not as good as the red. And believe me when I say that I really wanted to tell her the yellow dress, "definitely, the red dress" I say, and she smiles before looking back through them. I looked around the room to see if I could see the laptop but there was no sign of it.

"Hey, why don't we watch a movie on your laptop while we look through these" I say hoping that she would say yes. "Why would we do that when I have a big TV downstairs" she says, "ohh can we watch twilight please" Betty begs us, I hated Twilight, I do not know what it is, but the movie makes me cringy. But of course, it was three against one and now we were sitting down as the open scene of twilight began to play. Just then my phone vibrated in my pocket, I took it out to see that it was a message from Nathan reminding me about the plan.

"Hey, I'm going to go use the bathroom" I say getting up from the sofa and heading toward the bathroom was but going upstairs but quietly went into Kate's room, I had to be quick before they started to get suspicious. I quickly looked around the room but there was no sign of the laptop, if I were Kate where would I put it and then it hit me. I walked over to the bookshelf that Kate had in her room. When Kate was a kid her parents made a secret nook before the bookshelf. I quickly pulled the bookshelf out and out my hand behind it and fell around till I felt something, I grabbed a hold of it and pulled it out to see that it was Kate's laptop.

I turned it on hoping that it did not make a loud noise, luckily it did not but it did have a password on it, I took out my phone and quickly asked Nathan what the password could be, but he did not know. "Hey Y/N, is everything ok" I heard Kate call from downstairs, I quickly grabbed the laptop and my bag and ran toward the bathroom. "Oh, I'm just getting changed and ready" I call back out and she tells me not to be long, now I just had to figure out what the fuck the password could be. Think... think what the password would be, it was four numbers... I put in the day her, and flash started to date ... wrong, then I tried 1234 but of course ... wrong, then I had one last guess.

And I only had one more idea, but I did not know if it would work, so I type 1512. To anyone else that was random numbers, but it was the day that Kate and I became friends, it was the fifth of December at my mother's work party. When both of our mothers started to work together and we became close friends after, and it worked the laptop unlocked. It was bittersweet that the password was that because I was getting into it to end mine and Kate's friendship for the last time. I found all the messages, and there were a lot, I got the hard drive from my bag and attached it to the laptop with the wire and started to download them onto it. It said that it was going to take 5 minutes, but I did not have that.

"Y/N, its Liz. I need the bathroom" I hear Liz call from the other side of the door, "One second just brushing my teeth" I said looking down and it was at thirty-five percent and started to get changed so I was changed when I left. After a couple more minutes it was at ninety percent, "Come on, Y/N I need to go" I hear her again, but she sounds annoyed. "Just one second" I call out. "Y/N, you have five seconds before I open the door myself," I look down and it was at ninety-five percent.

FIVE... 96%

FOUR ... 97%

THREE ... it jumps to 99% but stops

TWO.... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

ONE...

"WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING YOU SO LONG" Kate storms into the bathroom with Liz, she is holding a butter knife in her hand that she used to open the door. Luckly the laptop downloaded and put it into the bag before she could see it, now I just had to get it back without her noticing. "I had the bad diarrhea, ok?" I lied to cover up, so they did not get suspicious, "Ew Y/N, TMI" Liz says before pushing us out and locking the door after her. I go to Kate's room to put my bag and to sneak the laptop back, but Kate follows me back into her room, "So do you hate Liz?" she says sitting on the bed.

"What" I say looking at her confused because she was asking me this unexpected, "I mean, I would hate her if Flash was going to the dance with her and not me" she says. What was she trying to do, get me to admit that I hate Liz, believe me I wanted to hate Liz, but I cannot. If Peter were going to be with anyone, I would be glad it was someone like Liz. But let us be clear I am not happy about it, but I cannot do anything about it now.

"Well god thing you don't have to worry about that" I reply, and she gives me a confused look, "what is that meant to mean" she asks. "Oh, I just mean that Flash is so in love with you, you don't have to worry about that" I say, but I really meant that no one likes Flash enough to ask him out. Everyone around him was using him for his money, including Kate, and he was about to find out. "Oh, yeah that's true" she says with a look of disgust, just then the bathroom door opens, and Liz comes out.

"OH, we should play truth or Dare" Kate says, "Liz gets Betty, we are playing truth or dare" she calls out. Now we were all gather around Kate's floor in a circle, "Who's first" Betty asks. "I'll go first" Kate says, and I knew this was not going to end good for someone and I was hoping it was not me. "Truth or Dare, Liz" she says.

"Truth" she says, and Kate begins to think about what to say. "Why do you like Peter Parker" she says, "Well he's smart, kind and he's cute" she says, and I could feel the jealousy filling my body. "Oh... Even thought you were his second choice, you would still like him... Huh?" she says, and I feel my heartbeat in my chest, "What do you mean Kate" Liz asks, and I was hoping this was not the way Kate was going to tell Liz. "Oh, nothing" she says with a giggle then changing the subject.

We play a few rounds, Kate had to eat the day off cheese that Betty somehow had in her bag, Liz had to tell us a secret that no one knew, and Betty had to prank call Nathan and tell him we are watching him. And now it was back to me, and Kate was the one asking me. All I knew was that I was not picking truth because she would somehow find a way to bring up Peter.

"Dare" I say hoping that it won't be as bad, "I dare you to..." she was thinking, and I could feel a panic attack coming along. "Why don't you read us your latest song from your book" she says, and my heart sank, "I don't have my song book" I say, Kate do gets up and left the room. "What is that all about" Betty asks, and we just sit there, and all confused on what Kate was up to, but I knew what was happening and then she confirmed my biggest fear and walked in with my song book.

"You left this here yesterday" she says walking over and handing me the book, but it was not my actual book it was just a fake. I open it to see that all the lyrics to Enchanted was written in it with Peter name in a heart, "Well." she says sitting back down with a smile on her face. "Y/N, if you don't have to, if you don't want to "Liz says, but I knew that Kate will not let that happen, "Well. Y/N reads it or Liz you can" she says.

"If that makes it easier for you, I don't mind" Liz says to me, "Oh ... I will do it". I read it and see that a part of it was already highlighted, the fucking bitch already had this plan, now I was glad I was getting revenge. I clear my throat then look at Liz and begin to sing the part that Kate has highlighted, "Please don't be in love with someone else, plus don't have somebody waiting on you" I sing and then I look around to see everyone's faces. Betty and Liz were looking at me as if they felt bad for me, "Wow, that was beautiful" Betty says and Liz nods in agreement.

"Who is it about Y/N" Kate asks me, "Oh ... it's about a boy in school" I say. "Oh, how about we play hide and seek" I say trying to change the subject, "We aren't five, Y/N" Kate says. "I think it would be fun" Betty says, "fine, but Y/N, you can be on because it's your idea" she says getting up and walking out of the door and the girls follow behind. I begin to count to 30 aloud as I walk over to my bag and grab the laptop to quickly put it back where it was. And quickly text Nathan for the second half of the plan, and I find the girls.

It does not take me long to find Kate, who was just standing in the Kitchen eating ice-cream. "Why didn't you hind Kate" I asked, and she just rolls her eyes and heads upstairs. Next, I find betty who was hiding in the bath in the bathroom, and now it was just Liz, but I could not find her. After a couple more minutes of looking around for her, I decided that I would give up. "Ok Liz, I give up" I shout from the sitting room, and I hear someone shout from outside and then the front door opening.

"Hey, that's cheating" Betty says, and Liz sticks out her tongue, "They never said where we couldn't hide" she says and just then my phone starts ringing and looks down to see my father's name. "I have to take this" I say to the girls before walking outside, but it wasn't my dad calling me, "So did you get it" I hear Nathan say from the other side. "Yeah, now I can go home" I say before hanging up, now I had to do the acting of my life ... be sad... Be sad ... be sad