#mkpost

Hi @dismanibus, thank you for the ask. <3

I will not be going first.

And Matt is asleep right now, so that leaves me. Least favourite bits first, to get them out of the way:

Here: embodiment – I've got nothing against the concept in the abstract, I just really don't feel at home in our body at all. It's not just dysphoria (though that certainly contributes considering we are not built like me even remotely), it's also the fact that I'm having to practice using our left hand so it stops being useless to write (and do other things) with when I'm left-handed, and our sensory tolerance thresholds being way lower than my own (i.e. the cat yelling in the middle of me typing my response wouldn't have nuked my focus before, it would've been at worst an annoyance, no such luck here), and the insane amount of rest we need after doing basically anything, ... I can live like this because it beats being dead, it could always be worse but it's far from good.

Before: the impermanence of my living situation(s). I've never been scared of change in general (I get bored if things are the same for too long, even), so this isn't about that; more that I never got the chance to even try settling anywhere, get to choose to move on when I decided I'd had enough instead of external circumstances turning "moving on" into my best option.

My favourite bits now:

Before: Matt, in general. Doing most of our growing up in each other's pockets, and then I'm also glad we got to spend our last few months of life together.

Now: I cannot overstate how much I enjoy getting to be alive again (maybe unexpected considering a certain recent post re: "dying satisfied", but I wasn't actively trying to get dead, if there had been a viable/sustainable "staying alive" option I'd have taken it), and also getting to play pretend in writing – it is really fun when the stars align and we can make it happen.

Thank you. For my part:

Living here now, favourite part: relationships – mine with Mello and Matt, of course, but also the ones we have with our (collective) close friends & partners (! *points*) – are what I most consistently find myself grateful for.

Living here now, least favourite part: the lack of sufficient financial resources / in-person support that would allow us to spend more of our limited energy on things beyond "meeting our own basic needs & maintaining our living space reasonably clean". The limited energy wasn't new to me the way it was for Mello, and we (our system at large) do support each other when and where we can; but that only goes so far when you share the same body and brain. While it helps that some of us are more efficient with certain tasks, or find them easier, and we can somewhat reliably optimise energy use that way – ultimately, we all draw from the same resources, and they are not plentiful.

Living elsewhere before, favourite part: being able to set up my living space exactly the way I want(ed) it, to ridiculous extents. Not just "arranging the furniture in my rental flat" – we're talking "enough money to have entirely custom skyscrapers built to my exact specifications" here; perhaps not unfamiliar to you and yours. (I did not appreciate my indoor pool anywhere near enough while I still had it.)

Living elsewhere before, least favourite part: not something I ever fully realised back then, having known nothing else and therefore having an extremely skewed baseline, but how lonely it was. It got worse after Mello died – in many ways, he was the only person I could reasonably consider a peer – but we weren't very close before that happened, either; had barely begun to get along at the time.

Drafting this post for Matt to finish filling out later.

It is now Later so. HI CALLA here's my answer #myanswer!!

It's not going to be a proper answer for "before" because that honestly feels really far away for me now, I wouldn't know for sure. I know I used to be bored a lot and generally wasn't having a good time of things (there's a... maybe lots of... reason(s) I was stoned and/or crossfaded most of the time lmao, anyway) but I haven't got enough specifics to make Clear Pronouncements.

"Now" is easier. My least favourite thing is less to do with our life close-up and more to do with *gestures at the general world situation*, like, okay not EVERYTHING was better circa 2013 but SOME THINGS sure were better circa 2013. And NOW now my least favourite thing is that I'm hungry and it sucks. Will fix that before going to bed lol.

My favourite things are currently peeking over my shoulder while I add onto the post they started earlier (:þ) but aside from that, yeah I'm going to have to be wholly unoriginal and steal Nate's answer, because I AGREE we are absolutely surrounded with lovely folks (hi Calla & Geta & co at :pusheenfamily:. This includes you. Btw. Just so we're clear on that :3c). Like idk we just have really lovely friends (close and less close) and it's Nice.

Thank you @ohveda for the tag!! :3 For me, (italicising those where I have literally no opinion)

coffee or tea | early bird or night owl | chocolate or vanilla | spring or fall | silver or gold | pop or alternative | freckles or dimples | snakes or sharks | mountains or fields | thunder or lightning | egyptian mythology or greek mythology | ivory or scarlet | flute or lyre | opal or diamond | butterflies or honeybees | macarons or eclairs | typewritten or handwritten | secret garden or secret library | rooftop or balcony | spicy or mild | opera or ballet | london or paris | vincent van gogh or claude monet | denim or leather | potions or spells | ocean or desert | mermaids or sirens | masquerade ball or cocktail party

coffee or tea | early bird or night owl | chocolate or vanilla | spring or fall | silver or gold | pop or alternative | freckles or dimples | snakes or sharks | mountains or fields | thunder or lightning | egyptian mythology or greek mythology | ivory or scarlet | flute or lyre | opal or diamond | butterflies or honeybees | macarons or eclairs | typewritten or handwritten | secret garden or secret library | rooftop or balcony | spicy or mild | opera or ballet | london or paris | vincent van gogh or claude monet | denim or leather | potions or spells | ocean or desert | mermaids or sirens | masquerade ball or cocktail party

coffee or tea | early bird or night owl | chocolate or vanilla | spring or fall | silver or gold | pop or alternative | freckles or dimples | snakes or sharks | mountains or fields | thunder or lightning | egyptian mythology or greek mythology | ivory or scarlet | flute or lyre | opal or diamond | butterflies or honeybees | macarons or eclairs | typewritten or handwritten | secret garden or secret library | rooftop or balcony | spicy or mild | opera or ballet | london or paris | vincent van gogh or claude monet | denim or leather | potions or spells | ocean (!!!) or desert | mermaids or sirens | masquerade ball or cocktail party

May when more bespooned add hovertext (invisible from dashboard and tumblr.com/url, unfortunately) to elaborate on my choices.

3. what are you looking forward to right now?

5. What's your drink of choice? (Coffee/tea order, alcohol of choice, pop, etc)

Hey, thank you for the ask!!

Our blog title comes from Placebo album of all time Sleeping With Ghosts. We wanted something from there because it has personal significance for the three of us in a lot of ways, but then most of the lyrics were too specific or too personal or too exposed so we decided to just go with titles.

Our URL is a result of the same thought process – we actually wanted the album title for it, but (obviously, Placebo being as popular as it is) "sleeping-with-ghosts" and "sleepingwithghosts" were both taken; so were "english-summer-rain" and "englishsummerrain" (from the eponymous song, the only one from the album that felt relevant to all three of us as we are now – everything else was too oriented, either towards a pair of us or towards our past).

Since nothing else on the album truly appealed, we came up with a mashup of both that still suited and that no one else already claimed. I can't say I dislike the result. It feels more right than our original idea would have.

Looking forward to: bedtime, playing more EuroTruck Simulator 2 tomorrow, having spoons to spare for 1v1 interaction with friends.

As per drinks, I don't know, actually. There's a hole where my alc preferences used to be, probably because we don't drink so there's nothing there for my stuff to slot into, and with everything else we just haven't had much variety while I was around so there's a choice of like... plain water, sparkling water, leaf water, oat water, fruit water, and fuckall else. Going to rectify the lack ASAP.