#mkmm

"s'a magic thing. fairly similar to humans with persistent arousal disorder," Stretch explains. "the general medical consensus is that i have lots of magic, like all Papyri, and even more so with Judge power on top of it, and my world has no need for violent outlet of said extra magic."

"MUTT HAD THE SAME PROBLEM WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER, IF HE WENT WITHOUT A GOOD BRAWL FOR A TIME," Black interjects. "THOUGH NOT TO THE SAME DEGREE. AND HE GREW OUT IF IT, PER SE, SINCE HE HAD CONSTANT OUTLET AND HAS IRON CONTROL OF IT."

"BUT PAPY'S MAGIC NEVER GOT AN OUTLET IN FIGHTING, SO IT DEFAULTS TO..." Blue trails off, making an obscene gesture that makes Stretch snort out a laugh. "EXCESS LIBIDO."

“Hello there! I’m here to adopt a flameling–”

“because she’s an addict.”

“Haha, very funny. I am a very loving kitsune who always has room for another family member. I live in a huge, ever-changing mansion that can bend to any adoptable’s needs, and I have several bitties and even more lovers living with me. The flameling will never be lonely or uncared for.

I do need one that will be good around children, as we are expecting our first child later this year! We also have another skeleton running around the house that is 8 years old and fearless, and a few bara adoptables that are easily startled as well. We run our own adoption agency from the mansion, so many people will be coming and going and an adoptable who doesn’t mind many new faces, or at least doesn’t mind as long as they are around people they do trust, is preferred.

I simply can’t wait to see what you have for me!”

Sai welcomes you in with a bright smile. 

“Hahah! I know what you mean though. At this rate I’m just as bad as a hoarder with all of the companions and my own collection of bitties and such around here. But I do have the perfect little guy for you to add to you-” 

There’s a crackle of electricity as a brightly sparking Flameling zooming to the desk, bright and eager. 

Sai laughs and shakes her head. “They’re really eager to go home to you. They’ll be perfect with young children, helping around the mansion with anything you might need. They might be a little excitable but they’re pretty respectful of the more shy or fearful adopts that you might have at home.” The Current Flameling hops into the lantern, coming with a monocle and a snazzy bowtie for when they grow bigger as Sai closes the front of the lantern. 

“Currents are fun and sweet and will make a great companion for you. They’ll love the ever changing nature of the mansion and all the visitors. There won’t be a dull moment for you with one of these guys running around! Just be sure to give them a nice feeding of electrical currents every now and then to recharge. Thank you so much for adopting! If you have any questions please feel free to ask!” 

The Current Flameling is sparking with happy energy, eager to get to their new home!

There's two different kinds of non-violence-related ache, and the Swap brothers are currently experiencing both of them.

---------

"we were eight and one. the queen took us in and we did alright for ourselves."

"I WAS SEVEN AND SANS WAS FOURTEEN! I DON'T REMEMBER MUCH ABOUT DAD BUT I DO KNOW THAT WAS WHEN WE MOVED TO SNOWDIN! APPARENTLY THE CROWN PAID FOR OUR HOUSE AND GENERAL NEEDS FROM GASTER'S SAVINGS AND RETIREMENT FUND, UNTIL SANS WAS 16 AND ABLE TO WORK."

*Clapping noises*

"WAIT, YOUR HANDS DIDN'T MOVE, HOW CAN YOU BE CLAPPI--"

"....WHAT HAVE I DONE."

"gave us an excuse, that's what."