boyfriend!kung lao headcanons
kung lao x fem!reader (movie version)
your favorite cocky shaolin monk as your boyfriend ♡
sfw + nsfw
sfw . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.
he loves hearing you laugh. not because he’s soft. because he’s convinced he’s the funniest man alive, and every laugh is just proof.
he physically cannot let you win an argument. even when he agrees with you. (especially when he agrees with you.)
if someone compliments him in front of you, he immediately looks at you like a dog waiting for praise. “did you hear that?” “yes.” “interesting.” “what?” “nothing.” “you want me to compliment you too.” “i didn’t say that.”
if you’re having a bad day, he gets weirdly attentive. he does not know how to comfort people normally, so suddenly you’re being handed food, blankets, tea, random flowers he definitely stole from somewhere. he never acknowledges what he’s doing — “the flowers were in my way.”
he acts like he hates physical affection in public. but five minutes later he’s got an arm draped around your shoulders, your hand trapped in his lap, and his chin resting on your head. if you point out the hypocrisy, he just says, “this isn’t affection. this is security.”
he secretly memorizes tiny details about you and pretends he doesn’t. your favorite snack, your favorite color, the exact expression you make before you start complaining about something. he notices everything.
he gets jealous of the dumbest things imaginable. not jealous in a scary way, jealous in an unbelievably pathetic way.
you spend ten minutes petting a cat? suddenly he’s staring at it like it’s a rival.
you mention a nice conversation you had with someone? “and what was so interesting about that?”
if you ever dare to call another man handsome he acts normal for approximately three seconds. then: “really?” “what?” “nothing. just surprised.” “why?” “no reason.” there is a reason.
he has genuinely threatened to fight liu kang “for your honor” multiple times even though liu kang literally just smiled at you politely.
the worst part? he genuinely thinks he’s being subtle. he’s not. everybody knows. even the person he’s jealous of knows.
if somebody flirts with you, kung lao spends the next three hours pretending it doesn’t bother him. which somehow involves bringing it up every five minutes.
he keeps score of everything. everything. who won the last spar. who picked dinner last. who said “i love you” first after an argument.
he uses his hat to impress you constantly. constantly. like every day.
you’ve seen every trick but he still expects applause. if you don’t react: “you didn’t even look.” “i’ve seen that one.” “no. this was a different spin.”
he absolutely practices dramatic entrances before seeing you. not consciously. but if he spots you first. suddenly his posture improves. hair gets adjusted. walk gets smoother. voice gets deeper.
but the second you’re actually paying attention to him he forgets every cool thing he was about to say.
forehead kisses are extremely rare, and extremely dangerous. with kung lao, they are the emotional equivalent of getting hit by a truck, because they usually happen when you’re upset. or sick. or exhausted.
he’ll brush your hair back, press the softest kiss to your forehead, then immediately ruin the moment. “you looked awful.” “thanks.” “you’re welcome.”
he genuinely believes that being your boyfriend grants him special rights. your food? shared. your blanket? shared. your attention? his.
if you’re sitting somewhere, he automatically assumes there’s space for him too. doesn’t matter if there isn’t. that’s your problem.
if anyone asks why you’re dating him, he answers before you can. “she has excellent taste.”
deep down, though? he’s never completely sure how he got so lucky.
some nights he’ll just look at you when you aren’t paying attention, quiet for once. like he’s trying to figure out how someone chose him.
then the second you catch him staring: “what?” “you were looking at me.” “no i wasn’t.” “kung lao.” “you have no proof.”
nsfw (18+) . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.
he fucks like he fights: flashy, competitive, and convinced he’s the best you’ll ever have (and annoyingly, he usually proves it).
turns everything into a competition. “bet i can make you cum in under two minutes.” “bet you can’t stay quiet while i eat you out.”
will straight-up say things like “i trained all day just so i could fuck you properly tonight” with zero shame.
gives the messiest, most enthusiastic head. moans into your pussy like it’s his favorite meal, sucks on your clit like he’s trying to physically pull orgasms out of you, and won’t stop until his face is shiny with your cum.
he always makes sure you cum first. multiple times if he can manage it. his pride is tied to your pleasure.
he loves making you cum while he’s still fully dressed in his monk robes and hat, just to remind you how easily he can wreck you.
makes you ride his muscular thigh until you’re soaked and shaking, then makes you clean up your own mess with your tongue while he praises you.
before he slides his cock in, he rubs the head against your clit every time to make you whimper.
he loves fisting your hair and yanking your head back so he can bite your throat while thrusting deep. light choking too… his hand wrapped around your neck while he stares into your eyes, daring you to keep eye contact as you cum.
after a real argument he’ll storm in, pin you against the wall, and fuck you so hard the furniture shakes. lots of growling “you drive me fucking insane” while slamming into you.
he turns any bath into a slippery, loud mess. sits you on his lap facing him, water sloshing everywhere while he guides your hips and sucks marks into your wet skin.
100% has a breeding kink, and it gets nastier when he’s close — “gonna fill this tight cunt until it overflows… fuck, imagine how pretty you’d look carrying my child.”
he cums inside you almost every time and gets visibly turned on watching it drip out. will push it back in with two thick fingers while telling you how perfect you look “stuffed full of me.”
he gets hard again stupidly fast. you think you’re done after two rounds? he’s already half-hard against your thigh asking if you’re “really tapping out already.”
kung lao doesn’t just fuck you — he claims you, worships you, teases you, ruins you, and then puts you back together like it’s his sacred duty.
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