#mixedwithmonet

me: so, yeah. that's what I did on my day off.

I liked them so much, my mom actually bought me the VHS of their movie, which I watched religiously. By 2000, I was 8 years old and "over it," but lately, I've been thinking about that part of my childhood more, and this has always bothered me: I always wanted to be Posh Spice, but of course I was always likened to Scary Spice. And now, as an adult, I think of how formative and fucked up that is, and how something so little gets ingrained so intensely. The implication was that you couldn't be polished and put together if you were dark with curly, big hair -- no, then you were SCARY! And I spent the next ten years avoiding being "scary," trying (and failing) to tame my big, frizzy hair and being constantly frustrated by all of my features that seemed, in the world at large (and long after I had left the Spice World behind), to point me out as "scary." As an adult, I just see that, even if representation happens, it's important we consider what that representation is. Blackness is not wild, crazy, or scary by default. We are silky, sexy, smooth, "posh," and sophisticated as well. We are just as diverse and multi faceted as other races. The more we restrict what blackness is, the more others allow us to be restricted. These are two unrelated things that are somehow merging in my mind, in my Mindless Morning Musings. I know that Melanie Brown considered sophisticated and that now, but speaking more on the perceptions of a child compared to the realities of adulthood.

Me: -__- leave.