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I know I don't miss you. Not actually you. It's just...it's so hard, going from having someone to talk to...to having no one at all. Like when you show a blind man the sights of the world...and then take it all away again. I wish it would stop. This pain. I don't want to feel alone anymore. I know you're not the answer. But I wish you were.
-doireallymissyouthough?
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on a related note: my computer was still signed onto your private twitter & i just scrolled to see how you were doing (funny how quickly things change - i know so little about your life now) and saw that you were crushing on some dude too. my first thought was 'that's good :-)' breakups have this stereotype of being all bad and terrible but somehow this wasn't... was it because we already had our bad run? or just that we were just on the same page? i still question this, even now, why didn't it hurt as much as i thought it would? why was and am, i so okay with it? i thought i would love you forever, in that same way, but it's not true. not anymore, at least. the love for you is still there, but i can't and don't see why i'd thought we'd be together forever. i'm sure you don't either. but i guess we both still love each other in a completely different way now. // you would think that one would be more experienced having gone through a relatively long, committed relationship (i mean, 2 years 2 months + all the other jazz) but it's not. i'd forgotten what it was like to crush on somebody (although that came back with R and not bk) or even what to do to get that person to date you. like what did i even do to get you to date me?? but i guess this would be my first considering genders so i won't be the one who's expected to do all the Grand Romantic Gestures™ (are we even allowed to do it or will that hurt their ego) but i mean if you want it, you gotta go and get it right????
I constantly think about coming back to you.
should i?
winter 2013/2014 produced the Real Hits. The Classics™
I'm feeling a feeling I haven't felt in a while...
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Wow I am actually feeling really shitty and down tonight :/ even though it was a good night
I can't seem to escape you tonight.
Everything she's saying is reminding me of you and the way you used to be. I thought I was okay, but I'm just so far from it that I don't even know. We're almost a year over. Can you believe it? A year? Okay, so ten months... but that's almost a year... and that's just fucking insane to think about... especially when I remember it all just like it was yesterday.
