#missing out?

I want so badly to be a part of something. Like a club, a solid group of friends, family...it's hard to explain. I have all those things, but I'm not as tightly knit into them as I wish I were.

For example, family...I wish I had a close family, emotionally and distance-wise, so I can be a part of family gatherings and participate in traditions. Even being a part of my boyfriend's family is hard because all the adults barely speak English...and I don't speak Spanish...so I feel left out even though I'm totally accepted. 

Friends...a lot of my friends are moving out of state or several hours away and our "crew" is starting to disintegrate...

It's weird...it's a weird thing to grasp but that's just been my life.

Oh and about clubs, well, the only thing that I've been really into was art, and most of the artists I know like to work privately (including myself) when it comes to their art.