#missbehavin

                                           Player A

I watched you peel back layers of black and white and gray until you tore open the universe and let explosions of color, paint our sky and for the first time in my life I watched you feel alive.

There was a time when you sat in silence beside me, sharing only the tapping of buttons on a Nintendo controller that has long since seen it’s prime. And we didn’t need to speak to one another as children because our games said enough.

Up. Down. Left. Right. A. B. B. Before this, there was only you and you have not always been easy to love. But I have not yet ceased to try.

I dreamt of your laughter last night…. It turned into star power and you ran like hell and you fought off demons and you were invincible for a short period of time and I chased after you until it wore off.

Up. Down. Left. Right. A. B. Y. Won’t you let me win? I ask like I don’t already know it is not in your nature to do so. But there are moments in adulthood when darkness swoops in and I am running out of light and the last thing Id ever want is for you to not want to survive.

I found strength in every moment of your unapologetic whistling and You have unlocked treasures on your own accord yet I am still not okay with letting you go.

Holding onto your cape…. Not to keep you from soaring….. But to keep you from disappearing into a sky that will never be big enough or brave enough to wrap it’s arms around you, unafraid to let you know that everyday it is proud of you and you make it a better person.

Up. Down. Left. Right. A. B. A Clock is ticking off in the distance and you’re humming to the sound of all that could be. Where ticking is for the world, you have only ever heard the Zelda medley……and you know it by heart…. And soul and wherever you roam, all that silent music follows.

There was comfort in knowing you were not out of reach but by the end of this game, you are still leaving me……

You have collected the pieces and have battled the bosses and as much as I want to hit reset and take you back to your last save, I know you deserve to win.

You deserve the forward moving motions where the last battle will begin because the best part of the game is the journey to the end.

This….is no longer a co-op mission and I can’t recall the exact moment we each started one player games but there is hope here…. even in the sidelines of your victories and success but especially in your failures. 

I remain unyielding in my love and belief….that you made me see pigments I used to not see.

Sometimes I wonder why only parts of the world are painted in your colors and the rest are still weary and unlit….. Then I remember that you and your hands……are still painting it.