#misguidedhour

Aerion was fuzzy, it was the noise, but still, you did not want to part from him, and besides, this entire thing was for him.

A tournament had started, two moons later, knights and houses from all over the continent had come to enjoy whole weeks of celebrations for the birth of your child. 

You kept gazing back at him, with the nannies in the corner of the royal box, as knights fought to death in the field in front of you. This didn’t amuse you anymore and you wondered why they ever did. After the war, you didn’t really want to see more violence, more blood, or more death.

But nobody died yet so you were hopeful 

“Papa! look! that knight has a pointy spear, more like the others”, pointed Rickon, he amazed you more and more each day, he was so smart, nothing ever escaped his sharp little eyes. 

But soon the relaxing environment turned sour, as the spokesman presented the next joust

“Ser Daario Blackwood wished to face Ser Jonos Bracken”, you frowned as you looked around and nobody was cheering

Who organized this?

“This cannot happen”, you whispered to Cregan by your side, who frowned, “who organized this?”

Worrying whispers took over the bleachers as the people made nervous remarks. Everybody knew the bloody story between the Blackwoods and the Brackens, they would make any excuse to shed each other’s blood.

Ser Daario approached the royal box.

“Your Grace, my queen”, he offered with a big smile, putting up the visor of his helmet. “If you do me the huge honor, of granting me your favor for this joust, ill surely assure it”, he said with a big smile.

“Of course”, you offered him, throwing through the end of his spear your flower crown, it made from Crepe Myrtle leaves, which look almost black, with red roses and ears of wheat that looked golden.

“Thank you, your most gracious Lady”, he said confidently

Ser Jonos Bracken rode his horse towards it to, this time, he stopped in front of Jaehaera

“If her grace would honor me”, it was odd, to say the least, she was small, and the way he referred to her made your skin crawl. Jaehaera, oblivious to it all and the way he referred to her, she was a child, but she shouldn’t be greeted as “your grace”

She threw her flower crown at him with a soft smile and twinkly eyes, she reminded you so much of Helaena it made your chest tighten.

“Thank you, princess”, said Lord Bracken.

Then both rode to the opposite sides of the tilt

At the signal, both spurred their horses, which neighed nervously and started galloping angrily against one another on each side of the wooden palisade. They met in a horrifying crash of wood, meat and metal.

It was the Bracken who had the point of his spear sharpened and without the protection of the metal point, and when they collided, people screamed as they saw the bloody outcome.

His spear failed at the last second, instead landing on the poor Backwood’s horse, the poor thing screeched in agony. Cregan was quick to distract the children as your eyes couldn’t be taken out of the bloody scene.

The Blackwood got out of his dying mount and unsheathed his sword in a violent movement. The Bracken was quick to release his weapon and do the same

“You are an embarrassment Bracken!”, you heard him scream, “Craven!”, he met his sword with a clash, “Treacherous!”, another swing, “Cunt!”

But the Bracken was quicker, pushing him and threatening him with his sword. You jumped out of your seat and that is when the whole stadium seemed to go quiet.

The Bracken stood tall with the point of his sword in the Blackwood's neck. 

“For the one true King of the seven Kingdom, and his heir! princess Jaehaera Targaryen!”, everyone gasped and you just looked at him, straight in the eye.

Blackwood snapped out of the floor, taking advantage of the distraction, he kicked into his legs making him trip and fall, he did as well, he sliced his leg, and when he was back on his feet, he did the same as he had done him, he put the point of his sword in his neck. 

“Your grace?”, he asked, “should I slay this traitor’s neck?”, he asked loudly. You heard the children being taken out of the box by the Queensguard.

“Let’s not sully this day with death”, you said loudly, “a tongue I think, sends a better message”, you offered. He did not seem pleased, but obliged. 

He took out his tongue in front of everyone

And then they cheered as he raised it in the air.

But there was a part of the public who didn’t applaud, just watched the screaming Bracken on the floor with frowns and disgust.

And you didn’t know what to make of it.

You didn’t know what to feel, or if you should feel anything at all when the joust continued, you couldn’t let it bother you, not in front of the most important families of the realm who had come to celebrate ‘a new beginning’, allegedly. You had to show yourself strong, and that is exactly what you did.

You did not look at Cregan for the remainder of the event, you loved him, he was your husband, but you were the Queen, and you couldn’t be seen as the young girl -that you were- , looking at her husband for approval in front of any trouble that comes your way.

Although he grabbed your hand and squeezed it, in sign of strength.

And you were thankful for that. 

The Blackwood was all too happy to continue jousting, invigorated by the Bracken blood you let him spill. The Blackwoods were unhinged but they were loyal to you, and after the situation with Alysanne Blackwood, but everything seemed fine. You wanted to make them an offer of marriage soon, they were key in the victory to the Blacks.

“Ser Abelar Hightower”, out of nowhere, came a knight dressed in all green, with silver marking, a whole tower in the top of his helm, as he wasn’t on the list apparently.

And nobody in the capital had heard anything from the HIghtowers since before Aerion was born, so probably half a year now.

This was the younger brother of the clown that appeared before you when you held audiences 

“The Queen was requesting the Hightower presence!”, he said loudly, in a tone you didn’t appreciate, “so I came here to ease her worries”

Well, he didn’t, he faced Blackwood, your personal knight, carrying your favor. 

He jousted against him, and he threw him off of his horse in the first assault, he was alive, but barely as they took him out in a made up bed. 

And he kept charging at your knights, and winning, and winning yet again. 

Then he rode back right in front of your box

“You grace”, he said, taking out the helm. He was nothing like his weak brother. This man was tall and broad as a log, handsome. “I’m here to ease your concerns, and worries, there is no danger to expect from us”, he said, again, the message meant well, the issue was his tone, he was mocking you, “after you emptied out coffers, my Queen, we were forced to cut the tree a little thinner, if you get my meaning”, he said simply

“I do not”, you said back, “but again, this is hardly the time and place”, you said 

“We, the Hightowers, got nothing to hide”, he said, sporting a wide, mocking, grin, “we will always serve the House of the Dragon, and the rightful heir”, he said then, and that sparked your interest

“And who that might be? in your eyes?”, asked Cregan, as he stood from his seat, you had missed the fact that he was angrier than you.

He always got particularly in front of treachery and traitors, he took the capital without a single drop of blood, driven by justice and vengeance. And now he stood again in front of you, like the man who had taken King’s Landing in your name

In your late mother’s name.

“Well, the Queen of course!”, he said, “and the next in line, Prince Aegon and Princess Jaehaera”, there it was

It was a complicated situation, as you found the eyes of the mortified lady Tyrell of the Vale, who had attended the celebration in the Reach’s name, and representing her son. She seemed frightened of what was happening, no in any way shape or form what she desired out of her Kingdom.

But still, the Hightowers remained one of the most powerful houses in the realm. Because of where they stood… the oldest city in the seven Kingdoms, the peak of light and wisdom

“The Prince of Dragonstone and Heir to the Iron Throne is Aerion”, said Cregan, “of House Targaryen and Stark, a son of Ice and Fire”, he said firmly, “you might not have heard”

The knight only smiled and nodded, hsi auburn hair reminded you of Alicent

Soon, your son’s cry filled the air and he seemed to have put everything back in order, as chatter spread all over the stadium and noises began filling the air.

“Your grace”, called one of the midwives, you looked back at him with a fond smile

“Take him back to the Red Keep”, you allowed, as you had still tourneys to watch, “Ser Erryk”, you called, he nodded and escorted them back to the castle.

But you yourself couldn’t hold on for much longer.

The night found you in the bowels of the Red Keep

You lit up the candles underneath Balerion’s skull, where you tended to pray before Cregan took the city, before everything was… alright.

“Ao teptan nyke skoros nyke eptan hen ao”, [You gave me what I asked of you], you whispered, ”ao ossēntan ñuha qrinuntyssy, se isse pālegon nyke teptan ao mirri nykēla”, [You slayed my enemies, and in turn I gave you some myself], “ao teptan nyke ñuha dārion”, [You gave me my kingdom], “sir iksan asking syt kustikāne naejot gaomagon ziry”, [Now I’m asking for strength to keep it]

“Tepagon nyke kustikāne naejot mīsagon ñuha tresy”, you begged, you closed your eyes and focused your energy, your mind, your senses into this moment, this silent moment

Nobody ever taught you how to pray to the Gods of Old Valyria, but so far, Balerion has been listening.

You felt him, heard him coming towards you from the hallway

“Are you praying?”, asked Cregan, Erryk following closely behind him

“I’m very sorry your grace”, he apologized

“I didn’t know you followed a religion”, he said

“Some say Targaryens, as their dragons, don’t answer to neither god nor men”, you said gently, “But I find comfort of the Gods of Old Valyria, those whose names inspired the ones of our dragons”, you told him, “Balerion is the god of death, the greatest dragon of my house, and the one whose fire shaped the Iron Throne and the Seven Kingdoms alike”

“You ask the God of Death for strength?”, he asked, he wasn’t judging, he seemed truly surprised. You didn’t answer, “I’m very sorry for interrupting your prayers, but, I was getting worried when I didn’t see you with Aerion, your head snapped back to his

“Is he alright?”, you asked 

“Yes”, he was hastily to answer, making you sigh, relieved, “Yes, our son is well, strong like his mother”, you smiled, giving the skull one last look, you returned to the safety of the halls of the Red Keep. 

“The feast is waiting”, said Cregan. You barely nodded. And began walking next to your husband

[“I’m concerned”, he said, frowning, looking all across the sea, a cup of wine in hand, “she is alone, without no friends, no family to guide her and care for her”, he said slowly, he then turned to his friends and confidant]

Cregan searched for your hand, and you squeezed it back. 

[“She has you”]

“Let’s get Aerion”, he offered

[“It’s not the same”, he said, “I had made you come here because I believe you are the last one, the last one that could be of comfort, you are, in all effects, her aunt, cousin to her mother”, he said softly.]

“I have a surprise for you wife”, he said with a soft smile

“What is it?”, you asked him, intrigued

He led you to the rooms on Maegor’s Holdfast in which you usually would host members of the family who did not reside on the Red Keep

[Lady Jeyne Arryn sipped her cup of wine]

“Aunt!”, you said, happily, as you saw Jeyne Arryn herself waiting for you with a pleased smile. You remembered her fondly, she hosted you when you seeked her support for your mother days before the real war began.

[“I will stay, for a while, to comfort her”, she said, “as my nephew is getting ready training to be the future Lord of the Vale, and I do want to see that beautiful little cherub, a son of ice and fire, the prince of Dragonstone”]

“My Dear niece”, she hugged you back tightly

“Are you here to stay?”, you asked her once you separated, “I heard your nephew is doing great work, shows great promise to become future Lord of the Vale”, you say warmly, she smiled and nodded

“Indeed, it is my wish that I can indeed stay for a good season, to give you my company and my counsel if you so desire it”, she said warmly

“Nothing would please me more”, you said in all honesty. You missed the looks they exchanged with Cregan, you missed the complicity.

“You will be the guest of honor at our feast tonight”, said Cregan

“That would be your son”, sh chided carefully, “is him who we honor, although, not everyone was aware of that”

“Were you there today? at the tourney?”, you asked her, frowning

“Sometimes tells of treachery travel faster then the wind”, she said with warning in her voice

“It is normal, I think, to be resentment, specially after how the Hightowers were shunned”, he said

“After a fire there is always ember”, she said, “what’s important is that it doesn’t catch anything dry around it”, only five minutes -to your knowledge- here and she has already proved herself to be wise and a counsel worthy to listen to.

Until you gathered them in a great hall, you remembered how many great families are in the seven Kingdoms. So many you couldn’t possibly remember their names. 

The music was delightful, the food was delicious, the wine was floating freely, thing to Lord Redwyne, but… BUT… there was still something tense in the air.

The mysterious Lord HIghtower didn’t present himself again, he left as mysteriously as he appeared and that did not make you feel better.

You and your counsel, with the arrival of your son and other events, had completely forgotten about the fact that Old Town seemed to have been erased from the map without any word to the capital.

And you did not believed the arrival of Lord Abelar HIghtower to be a ‘proof of life’

This was only one of many feasts you were holding for the week's events, so, to everyone's relief really, it ended quite early. The guest of honor, meaning your baby son was not in attendance and you felt restless after today’s events and you wanted to see him.

You have been so caught up inside these walls that you sometimes forget there is a whole world, millions of people out there. 

What was happening in the cities? what was happening in the streets of the very city at your feet? in King’s Landing itself?

What was said today? Was it in the mind of most people that it was safe to be? That they wanted Hightower blood in the Iron Throne? that they wanted Jaehaera reigning alongside Aegon? that they believed the Greens should have won?

That you were not the one who should sit the Iron Throne.

Thoughts haunted you as you walked back to your apartments, you felt your resolve crumbling, and that could not happen, you couldn’t slip, you needed to remain strong.

You passed by Aegon and Jaehaera’s apartments, as you saw them both sleep separately you thought about marrying them, but, now? not so much. The betrothal was still not of public knowledge, perhaps you’d do well in marrying Jaehaera away from this madness, with a kind powerful family, that will treat her well, when she is at least eight and ten. Perhaps that is what is best.

She was a kind and sweet child, and even though you wanted to have her under your wing, this foul city was not for the kindhearted, for the faint of spirit.

You learned that the hard way

And despite your best efforts the Red Keep was a nest of vipers. 

“Ser Erryk”, you greeted as you found the man guarding your apartment where your son slept.

“Your grace, might I introduce you… the latest member of the Queensguard: Ser Steffon Mangold”, presented Erryk, you smiled warmly at the blonde man stationed right beside him. 

“Your grace”, he said enthusiastically, taking a knee in front of you

“It’s a pleasure, I have been told that you were the hardest to find”, you laughed softly, he smiled and stood up again. “The last spot to the Queensguard, where are you from?”

“King’s Landing your grace”, he said quickly, “I have been raised in the city, and I think that is why they chose me”, you looked at Erryk and smiled at him, he nodded back, he had done a good job, it had taken almost a year, but finally it was done.

The mythical seven guards of the Kings, Queens and Princes of the Seven Kingdoms. You looked at the other man at his side, the ones on watch.  

Down the hall, following you, came…

“Ser Mervyn Flowers”, greeted Erryk diligently. From House Peak, of Starpike, this as the bastard brother of the Lord of Starpike, Unwin Peak, but you only smiled politely

“Ser Mervyn”, you offered, “Now that I’m in the best care possible, take the night’s watch and watch the childrens chambers if you please”, you checked with Erryk who nodded at you

“It is an honor your grace”, he said, nodding dutifully, and left you

You did not like him.

And it wasn’t unfounded, his brother, half brother, the current Lord of Starpike, had been a supporter of the Hightowers during the war, gathering a host of two thousand men to support the Green army from Oldtown.

During the time Cregan held trials for the traitors and afterwards when you yourself held audiences, Lord Peak came rushing to… demand… your forgiveness, you granted it, not wanting to trouble yourself and to give instability to the Reach after everything that happened so, you pardoned him after the counsel of your now husband. The problem was… he never left. 

He had offered himself to fill the post of Tyland after his untimely demise, and Cregan had refused him, deciding to bring yet another Lannister, and now he spent his days… whining and bitching and commenting of every decision the small council had ever made, he couldn’t secure a position for him or any of his family, except for his half brother.

Who was the finalist of Erryk’s long list of candidates, in his defense, for the post of Queensguard, so they decided to pull him to the first seven, to calm his brother, and it looked like it worked

For a couple of weeks

Now the Lord of Starpike was at it again.

He had a daughter, of Aegon’s age, and he was insisting on betrothe the two. You avoided him like the plague, because of your doubts on what to do with the future of the little ones of your family. 

No matter how good you tried to put everything together, with the right people, the right family, the throne kept being like a light in the middle of a swamp, I was going to pull in all kinds of creatures, good and bad. 

“Ser Erryk, you and Ser Steffon are the ones in charge of Aerion”, you said softly, “until he is of age he will be sharing my chambers, so I want one of you at least with him at all times”

“Of course your grace”, you looked at Ser Steffon, who looked very professional and well mannered, standing there like a statue of the Father.

“Ser Steffon, can I have a word?”, you asked him, he seemed surprised, but nodded 

He followed you inside your chambers.

“Have you been out there, in the city, recently?”, you asked him

“Yes your grace”, he said, standing firmly right by the door

“Can I ask, what had been said? in the streets?”

“Your grace?”, he didn’t seem to understand your questions

“What are people saying? about after the war, about the succession?”, you asked him

“The people love their queen!”, he said rapidly, like he was afraid of high treason

“Please”, you begged him, “I won’t hold you accountable for what the people re saying, they are my subjects and if they are worried or displeased I need to know”, you said gently, he seemed pleasantly surprised, but somewhat relieved

“Well, your grace, you see, the war was hard on everyone, and when they raised against your mother, the situation was critical”, he said, “but they love their queen”

“What about those who believed Aegon was the true King, that believe in his legacy?”, you asked

“People are contented with how things turn out”, he assured you, “food is being send again, the people are fed, and you are the one who made sure of it, that is what matters”, he said, “stability, food in their bellies, and safety”

“Well, I think that yes”

“They never cared if the reigning monarch was a man or not”, he said, “they believe in their King or Queen, whoever that might be”, he said, “as long as they are cared for”

“That is right”, you whispered. “Do they accept me as Queen?”

“People is glad that the war is over”, he said, “and they see you as the symbol of that, of a new era of peace and prosperity”

“You seemed to fear me, minutes ago”, you teased

“You are my Queen, and this is the biggest honor of my life, I do not want to disappoint you”, he said

“So you have seen what I have done, or at least heard about it, do you think I am a tyrant?”, you asked

“People in the city talk about how you burn alive your enemies, the pens who caused the war, and how you flew in the back of your dragon and saved the Kingdoms from the wrath of the Ironborns, they talk about how you are in truth the protector of the realm, and I do believe it too”, he said, “you are more than the Lady of the seven Kingdoms, you also are the Protector of the realm”, he said

“Thank you Ser Steffon, I value honesty above all else”, he nodded, “you may go”, he nodded and left the room. 

The Protector of the Realm

A strong Queen

You were proving to everyone that it did not matter if you were a woman because you checked all the titles, all of your titles. Lady of the Seven Kingdoms, protector of the realm, Queen of the Rhoynar, the Andals and the first men…

With Fire and Blood

Cregan entered the room and smiled as he saw you in your nightgown

“You are happy”, he said with a soft smile

“I have an idea”, you said, “we should take a tour”

“A tour?”, he asked

“After this is over…”, you said, “I wish to take a tour through the Kingdoms, to see my people, so they can see me, and Aerion perhaps”, he listened to you carefully and nodded

“I think it can be done”

“The people need to see me, my heir, and my dragon, to remind them, to reassure them that the war is over and the Kingdoms need to be reunited again.

“I believe, it's a magnificent idea”, he said then.

“And we should go to Oldtown first”, you warned

PCN: I CANNOT SAY ENOUGH HOW SORRY I AM, my inspiration just left the station and didn't come back

AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea, I HAD NO PLANS TO WRITE IT, it just struck me like lightening while I was working, I SWEAR WHEN I ANSWERED THAT ASK EARLIER TODAY I WASN'T WRITING IT, I HAD TWO PAGES AND WERE MOSTLY RAMBLES

Don't know what else to say or how to explain it

I guess Inspiration does have to get you while you are working.

If you read the books, you know what -might- come when I started mentioning weird names, NO SPOILYSSSS

Taglist of the most patient people on the planet

“Look at him”, you whispered, “he is perfect”, you admired his beautiful round face, his perfect little nose, his long eyelashes, his round squishy cheeks

“He is”, Cregan whispered, kissing your temple, “you had done so beautifully, my sweet Queen”, you looked into his eyes and you found content, and pride

But your eyes returned to your baby, your dragonling.

He had silver hair, beautiful silver hair, just like yours, and then when he barely open his eyes, he revealed them to be icy gray, like his father

He was so perfect, a perfect Targaryen Prince

The blood of Old Valyria and the blood of the first men run through his little veins.

You were so, so proud of him, of yourself, you had every maester check his health, and they all agreed, that the New Prince of Dragonstone was healthy, strong, and, as he had proven to you, had a strong set of lungs in him.

“My love”, called Cregan, but you only hummed, not letting your eyes wander from your newborn son, “there is people wanting to meet him”, he said softly, it was the middle of the next day, and you wanted to savor your alone time with him a little longer.

“Later”, you said simply

“They had been waiting since yesterday”, he said, kissing the top of your head again, “and we need a name”

“I just gave birth, can’t they please leave me alone for a bit?”, you asked, softly but angrily 

“This baby is the next ruler of the seven Kingdoms”, he said softly, “there are protocols…”, you looked at him severely

“Bring in my brother and Jahaera”, you conceded, he barely nodded, and went away, giving you a breath of relief. You didn’t want anyone else but your family in here

The children entered with big, curious, scared eyes, when they landed on you, they came to your side quickly, Aegon was sure to be right there next to you, to catch the closest and first look at his baby nephew

“He is a bit red”, it’s the first thing he mumbled, making you giggle

“He was just born”, you whispered, “it’s normal”, you explained softly, Jahaera didn’t say anything, but looked at the baby with big ghostly eyes, and for the very first time, you thought you catched a glimpse of a smile

“Jahaera? want to hold him?”, she seemed truly surprised, you just patted the bed right next to you, and she climbed to your side, when she was settled, you placed your baby in her arms, she seemed content, only watching him in her frail arms

“He is small”, she murmured, you only smiled, he was a bit small, and… “made of ice and fire”, she whispered

“What?”, you asked, but you were interrupted when Cregan opened the door, he stood there, with a warm smile on his face. 

You didn’t even know how you were going to name him, I mean, you had some ideas, and you were not even going to ask your husband, he, your firstborn, was of the realm, of the Iron Throne, he had to have a name of Old Valyria

Jahaera excuse herself, she had a lesson with her septa, but Aegon stayed, sitting there in the bed by your side, Cregan had left to gather the court

“Can I ask you something?”, your baby brother asked 

“Anything”, you answered truthfully

“Now that you have a son… will you… will you still love me the same?”, he asked, and his big eyes told you he was extremely worried. That truly surprised you, but you smiled softly nonetheless.

“Of course!”, you said with a big smile, “you are my baby brother, I will never stop loving you, and I will never stop caring for you, you heard me? you are stuck with me, and your little nephew for life”, you giggled

“Really?”, he asked, hopefully

“I promise”, you assured him.

Cregan came back, thinking he had given you enough time, Aegon as he saw him, he excused himself from the room, and left

“A name, wife”, he demanded. He was the father, but he is letting you name your child, the prince of Dragonstone and heir to the Iron Throne

“Aerion”, you said with your son back in your arms, “of House Stark, until he ascends the Throne, as Aerion Targaryen”, you said firmly

“Good”, he said, “the small council is waiting”, he said, and again, he did not expect a no for an answer

“Very well”, he received your son, as you stood from the bed, the maids had placed you the “looser” dress you had, but not less impressive than any others, it was soft red velvet, with black and gold details. Your hair is barely arranged by two small braids arranging it off your face.

You barely let the maids touch your child, but they had dressed him too, in a simple golden attire. He was sleeping in his father’s arms, and you held onto him too, as you walked the hallways.

You had to present your son to the court

Not letting them see him, would awaken all sorts of gossip, that maybe there was something wrong with him, or he was weak, or any nonsense like that, this was going to make it clear to everyone…

The House of the Dragon stood strong, with you, your son, your brother, and your niece.

Especially with the silver hair on his head.

“You have done beautifully, wife”, Your husband said, as he saw you pondering, with your eyes lost in front of you

“Thank you husband”, you answered simply

You were already tired as you reached the huge doors, you hoped you didn’t have to sit on the throne today, you didn’t think you could handle it. You were still really sensitive.

“Lady (y/n) of House Targaryen, Queen of the Andals, the Roynar and the first Men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms, and protector of the Realm, and her Lord Husband Cregan, of House Stark, Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North, and Hand to the Queen, would like to present to the court, Aerion, of House Targaryen and Stark, Prince of Dragonstone!”, you might as well announce it now, the shocked faces appeared before you, your son was the heir, and next King of the Seven Kingdoms.

The huge doors of the entrance of the throne room opened in front of you, you tried to smile as the entire court, your court, tried their best they could to catch a glimpse of the sleeping Prince in Cregan’s arms

You walked slowly to the front, smiling and nodding to everyone on their way

All the Lords and Ladies nodded at you, muttering words of kindness

“Congratulations my Queen”

“What a fine Prince your grace!”

“You had been blessed, and you had blessed us all”

And more

So much more

Your council had been waiting for your approval, to start the celebrations, feasts, tournaments, parties, the first ones since the end of the war

“Behold! Prince Aerion of House Targaryen and Stark!”, chanted Arryk, you faithful Queen’s guard. 

It was a tiring affair, you should be resting, and Cregan thought so as well, but you you a Queen, and if you wished to prove those who wouldn’t see your mother on the throne wrong, you have to stand there, with your newborn son, in front of the court as you barely gave birth the day before as the sun was setting 

“In the celebrations of the birth of my son, I announce a big tournament, to join all countries as one, and also, a big feast to go with it!”, you said loudly, and the entire room bursted in cheers and applause, making Aerion cry angrily, as he was startled by the loud noise

Cregan smiled grabbing him carefully with his strong hands and showed him to the entire room, shortly, then he cuddled him into his strong chest, he looked so proud 

The tournament was going to be held in two months time

This was a new era, you constantly had to be remained of

The kingdoms were still healing, you were still healing… you need this, you did

You were finally “allowed” to go back to your rooms, you dismissed the nannies who had offered to take your baby.

It was normal and customary, that you had a small army of women ready to take care of your child, but you didn’t want to let him out of your sight

Is not that you didn't trust them, it was just…

It felt odd

To be apart from him

You had them bring a crib by the side of your bed, as you watched him asleep tears fell down your eyes… oh how you wished your mother was there with you

You had cried for her in the middle of labor, how you needed her warmth, her maternity, her advice, all of her. She was an excellent mother, she adored each and every one of you, and you didn’t know how you were going to do this without her

You were so lonely

You had dismissed your ladies, and the nurses were unfamiliar to you

Because Aegon the Usurper killed your mother’s nurses when he took Dragonstone

You felt so lonely.

The all familiar pain that had installed on your chest came flourishing back again, and you realized it had never left, you just grown accustomed to it

Would she be proud of you?

You imagined your brothers coming to see your son, Jacaerys picking him up from his crib and raising him in his strong arms, you imagined Luke grabbing onto Aerion with gentle hands, accommodating him on his chest with his beautiful smile looking down at his nephew 

The guards outside your room presented Cregan who entered the room with scrolls on his hands

“Letters, from your cousins Baela and Rhaena, and one from Lord Co…”

“Dispose of them”, you demanded, you didn’t care

“But…”

“I don’t care what those traitors have to say”, you said bluntly, he had caught you in a wrong moment

“Wife…”, he started carefully, “may I ask why…?”,  he asked simply, you guessed he wanted to hear your version of the facts

“Corlys Velaryon served my mother, until it suited him, when the ship was sinking, in the moment my mother needed him the most, he betrayed her, then served the usurper!”, you said bluntly

“He probably was the one who poisoned the usurper”, he said softly

“I guess, it didn’t suit him to keep serving him, I don’t care”, you said angrily, “if he had stayed at my mother’s side like he promised perhaps she would still be here”, you said, you could not forgive him, you wouldn’t allow yourself to

And Baela and Rhaena?

It just hurt too much

At one point they were like your sisters, like real sisters, you had lived together since your mother married Daemon, and… now it just hurts too much. They say Rhaena managed to hatch a dragon, a pink little thing

Good for her

But it just… it hurts… of all the people that could have survived… 

You felt guilty for only thinking about it

They were more Corlys Velaryon’s granddaughters that they were your sisters

“Can I read them?”, he asked, you looked at him

You wanted to say no, you did, but you were also terribly curious

Of what they might want or say… What if was indeed something important? and really, it was Cregan, he was the only one you trusted fully

“Yes”, you said shortly, “let me know if there is something important”. He sat by the window, to read the letter by the sunlight, Aerion began to get fuzzy, so you grabbed him gently and started to feed him

Something very frowned upon

Not even your mother had breastfeed her babies

But to your understanding… who better to feed a future King… than a Queen? his mother? You paid it no more mind as he latched onto you, Cregan didn’t even batted an eye

He was frowning a he read the missives 

“Is there something they need?”, you asked dismissively, “a threat to our Kingdom?”

“No”, he said simply, “just a call for you, their sister”, he said, he folded the letters and put them away, then he opened the one of Lord Corlys

“They wish you the best regarding the birth of your child and Prince of Dragonstone, and they wish to know that if there is anything they can do for you”

“No requests… that’s a new one”, you said sadly 

“Please, help me understand”, he pleaded once again, “what are you thinking?”

“They just keep wanting the fucking throne”, you said bitterly, “that is all this whole thing had been about, the Hightowers and Velaryons alike, each for their own side, sunk their teeth into the targaryen of their choice and bit, ripped and tear them apart for their own convenience, for the fucking throne, killing my entire family in the process, I am done with them”, you sentenced. 

“Very well”, he said, “I will stand by you”

“Thanks”, you said smiling softly, not wanting to discuss the issue further

Even if they were true, that they only were calling for you, their “granddaughter” and sister, how could you ever trust that? if you were not seated on the throne, would they still care for you?

You were convinced they only wanting to fall back into your good graces, the graces of the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and everything that meant

And the very fact that they knew about the birth of your son so soon unnerved you.

Of course they had spies inside the castle

Perhaps you should burn the letters publicly so words get to them

But it was of no consequence, because that very day, Cregan received important news

His son was arriving

He was in the Crossroads Inn, and he was dying to go and meet him

You allowed him to go with a small force, you had never seen him so happy and excited. He was on his way to meet his son

And taking advantage of that fact, that was going to take him a few days… You realized, thinking about Rhaena… 

Your son needed his egg

You had felt Vhaelar restless, and you needed to know if she had laid her clutch of eggs, or, egg

Singular

The very thought frightened you, what if it didn’t hatch? She as well could be the last Dragon, a grown, fertile dragon. You called in a Dragon keeper immediately, and he presented in front of you, the one that went inside the cave with you, the only one who could get close to your Dragon

“This is long overdue, your Grace”, he said with a soft smile

“I cannot go down there myself”, you explained softly, his face then changed. “What's the matter?”, you asked him

“Vhaelar laid eggs, we didn’t know how many, when the prince was born we adventure into the cave to find… one is gone”, it seemed like everything froze around you

“What?”, you asked

“One of the nests was… broken into”, he said

“Why wasn't I informed of this!?”, you asked angrily

“We found it this very morning”, he said quickly

“Raised alarms!”, you said

“The one that stole it… didn’t realize, she laid two eggs”, he gave a signal to Erryk who was at the door and he opened them to reveal two more Dragon Keeper, that brought with them the heating chamber

A sight you never thought you’d see again

They revealed the egg to you, and tears were brought to your eyes, it was golden, golden like the sun

Was it an Omen? Golden like Syrax… Golden like Sunfyre

Who could have possibly stolen my dragon’s egg?”, you asked him

We don’t know your grace, it must have been someone who knows the area, that its been heavily guarded, even though its against the sea, you had maintain guards around it, and over it, so we can’t understand…”, you kept quiet, you could barely go up stairs, you couldn’t go personally.

That is why she was so restless

Somebody stole her egg

“What if it hatches?”, you asked him, fright in your eyes, he didn’t know what to answer

“A dragon will only answer to a Targaryen your grace, in the worst case, it will grow wild, until we can finally know where it is”

“And in the best case?”

“It’s not normal for two eggs to hatch in the same clutch”, he said softly, “if the Prince’s egg hatches… then… someone still had a treasure in their hands but at least, it will not be a dragon”

It did not settle your nerves

You saw the beautiful egg, it seemed to move, you could feel it, the life within it

“Thank you”, you said finally, and they left you alone.

It wasn’t until a week later, as you fixed the skirt on your dress, that you finally realized how important this was.

Rickon Stark, Cregan’s son, was entering the city

Your husband’s child

Your own child, by marriage

A sweet boy of eight

Soldiers entered in front of the comitive, mounted men with the Stark sigil, and then, right after them, Cregan in all his glory, and at his side, on his own horse, a young boy, that even from afar, you could tell he looked exactly like Cregan, same shade of hair, and as they dismounted and walked towards you, you realized, he had his eyes

“Your Grace, my I present to you, my son and heir, Rickon Stark”, presented Cregan

“Your grace”, the boy greeted politely, his big eyes looking at you widely, even though he bowed. Cregan was by his side, looking at his son proudly

“My Lord, you are most welcomed to King’s landing, and to the Red Keep”, you greeted, amused, he smiled shyly.

“Thank you, your grace”, he looked at you with mistrust, and you could understand him, all of this was new for him.

You of course invited them in, the entire household he had brought with him was large, but, the more the merrier, and if having more of his people with him was going to make Cregan and RIckon feel more comfortable, they were most welcomed.

“There is someone I want you to meet”, you said happily, he only nodded, you looked at Cregan as you walked back to your chambers, and he seemed content, “Can I call you Rickon?”, you asked him softly

“Yes your Grace, of course”, he said simply

“Are you my new mommy?”, he asked bluntly, and you looked at Cregan, alarmed, he was amused, but didn’t say anything, you then looked back at the boy who was looking up at you with his big ghostly eyes

“I don’t have to be if you don’t want me to”, you said gently, and that seemed to relax him a bit, “but there is a place I’d like you to fill”, you said with a solemn voice, like you were requesting of him, you opened yourself the double doors to your room

“Which one, your grace?”, he asked solemnly

“How about.. big brother?”, you asked, inviting him to look inside the cradle where his baby brother was sleeping peacefully

“I’d like that”, he said, pleased, but frowned at further inspection of your baby, “why is his hair white?”, he asked, you giggled

“Because he got it from me”, you said softly

“I thought you had white hair because you were old”, he said simply, and you laughed, hard

The sound of your own laugh seemed so foreign to you

You haven't laughed in…

In…

In a long time

“No, no my dear, I was born with my hair like this”, you explained softly, he only nodded, understanding clearly, “so… are you going to be Aerion’s big brother?”, you asked, and he looked at you with a true smile for the very first time, and nodded excitedly

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Summary: Keep your friends and your husband close… and your enemies? Well…

Pairing: Cregan Stark x Targaryen!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, war, death, mentions of killings, genocide and war, threats, arranged marriage, SPOILERS for ASOIAF, and Fire & Blood, also, might spoil House of the Dragon, pregnancy!, fear of childbirth, discussing death in childbirth and all that comes with it, unrealistic birthing scenes, (I mean, what would I know really?) 

+18, MINORS DNI

Wordcount: X k 

Notes: Sorry for the delay, I think I lost my connection to this story. I know some of you didn’t like where this was going, the reader being so “defenseless” without Cregan, I had to re-read the whole thing to truly return to it.

After that horrid and terribly realistic nightmare, you never saw your uncle again, neither in the realms of dreams nor the realms of men, so that was a relief

But how could you see him? He was dead, he couldn’t hurt you anymore…

It took you a while to fully comprehend that, the next nights were tormentous, but then, something happened that brought you back to reality…

Your baby started kicking

You smiled as you felt the little kicks inside of you and touched your belly, that certainly grounded you, it made you come back to reality as of sorts, and it made you more focused, you attended every meeting, you held audiences, and you even appeared more in front of the people of King’s Landing, that gathered every afternoon chanting for you.

You were blooming, and even though you had relayed in Cregan a lot, you were beginning to settle in your post, without a hand.

But you missed him, terribly, specially at night 

days turned quickly into weeks, and then into months, and soon you could barely move, you grew tired quickly, you devoured everything you could during meals, and your babe moved tirelessly inside of you, specially at night

It had moved so much last night, that today at the small council meeting, you were fighting to not fell asleep

You couldn’t help it, you closed your eyes for barely a second, and you managed to open your eyes again, your lords were looking at you with kind eyes and soft smiles

“I’m so very sorry”, you muttered, rubbing your belly, trying to accommodate in the uncomfortable wooden chair

“You have nothing to be sorry for, our gracious lady”, muttered Lord Lannister, “perhaps we should move the meeting”

“No! no”, you insisted, “please continue”

“A new prince or princess to the seven Kingdoms, heir to the Iron Throne will be born soon, is a matter of great celebrations, a ray of hope, an unmistakable sign that the war is over and new times are coming, a new era of dragons, we should celebrate”, Lord Redwyne was a great narrator

“I agree”, said lord Celtigar, “the people need new things to look forwards to, I can see it from reports all over the Kingdoms, everyone should know”

Celebrate an heir you still didn’t have in our arms, gods, it was almost too similar of the story of Queen Aemma, your grandmother, as was told by your mother

“He or she isn’t born yet”, you said softly, and you had come to terms with the fact that there is a big chance you would perish in childbirth, but you were hopeful

“We are aware your grace”, muttered Lord Lannister, “but… as Lord Celtigar said… the people need a reason to celebrate”

“That might be true but, what if we do it after? after the birth, we should send word all over the Kingdoms, and then… when we have her or him in our arms, then we celebrate”, your lords seemed to realize what you were implying, and they of course nodded understandably

“Have we received word from our Lord Cregan?”, asked the maester

“Only his weekly reports of advances in the restoration of the North”, said quickly Lord Celtigar, who was indeed seating in your right as he was the hand

“The one who keeps demanding an audience is still… Lord Corlys”, you looked away, not wanting to face the man, perhaps you were being childish, but… you could not face the man that was supposed to be your grandfather by name 

“I don’t want to see him”, you said shortly

“Very well”, muttered Lord Redwyne, “He has send his bastard son Adam, to the capital, to seek an audience”

“I’m sure he doesn’t actually need anything”, muttered Lord Celtigar, “he is looking for a way in”

“Perhaps a meeting with our own master of coin would ease him enough to stop bothering us?”, you tried

“That will do your grace”, muttered Lord Redwyne

“Any other news of importance?”, you asked after a long sigh, rubbing your belly, your back had started to hurt

“We have completely lost contact with the Citadel, and oldtown”, confessed the Maester, everyone looked at him, concerned

“Explain”, you demanded 

“The situation was delicate after the end of the war, I have trusted brothers with which I exchange letters and they have all stopped”, that did truly concerned you

“What about the Hightowers?”, you asked then

“The last report is that they received tons of grains from the Tyrells and then they… stopped sending reports as well”. You took a long breath

“Should we… send someone to Oldtown?”, you suggested

“That would be best”

“Escorted by an army and a dragon?”, you continued, the lords were nervous and they exchanged looks between them

“Your Grace has a point, to send only lords would be a mistake”

“We cannot jump to arms against Oldtown for no apparent reason”

“Keep trying to contact your people, anyone, inside Old Town, if in a moon we don’t get any more news, we will gather a small force, and choose an envoy”, you commanded, and they all nodded 

Finally they released you as the sun was setting, and you thought about taking a nap, but if you did, then you were not going to be able to sleep at night, so you decided to go to the gardens to enjoy the sunset 

You liked to think you didn’t need a master of whispers, that you knew fairly well what was happening in your Kingdoms, but apparently… not…

He came unannounced, one second you were watching a beautiful winter rose bush, and the other, a presence came rushing to you unannounced, you raised your eyes and you thought you were dreaming

Cregan, you gasped with a wide smile, but it wiped quickly when you saw his scowl

“I thought you were happy with me, with our marriage”, you frowned as you looked at him, this is the first words to you for months?, “I thought this is what you wanted”

“It is! I am happy!”, you said quickly

“You must despise it, despise me, if you kept this from me so…”, you took a step towards him and around the bush, he got quiet when he saw you, the roses were hiding your round form but now he looked at you with wide eyes and open mouth

You looked so, so beautiful, in his mind, he had never seen anyone so breathtaking as you

He quieted himself and jumped to grab you in his arms and kissed you hungrily, all his anger slipped away from his mind and from yours and he wrapped his strong arms around you and held you lovingly and tightly

“I fucking missed you, you resentful little creature”, he growled, against our lips, right before he nibbles on your lower lip making you whimper

“I missed you”, you whispered, kissing him back, “So much”, you promised, gasping desperately against his lips, against the short beard he was growing.

There was no more time for anything else… 

. . .

Soon he had you naked in your rooms, resting on his chest after he actually proved to you how much he had missed you, and grabbing you so tightly as a way of a small punishment

“how did you manage to come without being announced?”, you asked, hugging him tightly

“I have my ways”, he muttered back, “but I really need to know”, he said, his voice choking with worry, “why?”, he asked, still caressing you, “I’ve been going over it over and over and many answers come to mind, none of them pleasant”, he needed an explanation of why you kept this from him, and you understood that

“I wrote you a letter”, you defended yourself, he signed, “You didn’t receive it?”

“I did not”, he muttered

“It was moons ago, explaining why I didn’t tell you, told you I missed you and asking you to return, then I received a letter from you asking me to go up there, and I couldn’t, I didn’t want to chance it”, you whispered, he caressed your belly tenderly, and it felt as good as you imagined it, his big warm hand, your babe kick inside your womb, making Cregan chuckle

“Have you been able to sleep?”

“Not when I eat strawberry tarts after the tea hour, then… it moves a lot”, you answered, Cregan laughed softly

“Well, you are carrying a wolf pup in there”, he teased

“Or a dragonling”, you answered back.

“oh gods, how could you let me leave you like this”, he said, he truly, truly felt bad

“When you got sick, and were about to die”, you confessed, “you whispered your son’s name in your fever induced dream, and I realized that if you were truly going to die, you were never going to see your son again, if you knew I was pregnant, you wouldn’t have gone North for another year or so, and your people needed you”.

He thought about it for long minutes, thinking about everything you had told him. And he sighed

You were right

“But what if something… had happened to you?”, he asked then

“I devised a plan, and I made everyone swear on it”, you confessed

“Which was?”, he asked

“If I perished in the birthing bed… My brother was to be crowned King, with the same council, and four regents to rule in his name until he became of age… Jeyne Arryn of the east, you, from the North, Lannister from the West, and a Tyrell from the South”, he nodded, “if our child had survived me, regardless, I asked them to give him to you, with a dragon egg…”, you told him, he was resigning her own children’s crown only for him to go back home where he wanted to be

“Well, it was a good plan”, he whispered. But he felt chills at the very thought of raising a little dragon without her beautiful dragon Queen by his side. Without even realizing he held you more tightly against him.

“But we will not come to that”, he said severely, “but I will go with it, if anything happens”

“Alright”, you whispered, “good to know”

But he was back now, no harm was going to come to you as he remembered the tumultuous this last weeks had been for him…

It took him weeks, a whole moon, maybe two, to get back to King’s Landing, more than he ever thought possible, he had to move a big group of people and as such, it required time… You could have given birth by now.

He thought about it again and again, to where it might have gone wrong.

Well, he now knew the reason why you couldn’t travel up North to meet him, because you were pregnant, he really appreciated you were being careful, and if the reports from the small council had any truth to them, you were doing great in the command of the Kingdoms, without a hand to help you.

You were truly magnificent 

You had managed to send compensations and start reparations for everything that needed repairs after the war, even though some town were ages away from truly recovering, you had even started talks with Dorne

It was a new age, and you were shining like the fire your family incarnated 

He was truly proud

And as Cregan was in the White Harbor, trying to sail south despite the weather, he had to prepare his son and leave him to travel behind with a stronghold of his house to come with im, including maesters and cooks, anyhow, he rode his steed from Winterfell to the White Harbour, he was so desperate he made the trip in half the time it took him last time, and then he sailed on a small, faster ship, back to the capital, he wasn’t even announced, he traveled almost in hiding, hoping nothing bad was going to happen, and it didn’t

That is why he could travel so fast, like no man has ever done before.

In a moon, his son and a small army was going to reach King’s landing, but the important part is that he made it… you were still pregnant, and he could accompany you through the birth, and… he was going to be here, to be with you 

“Please don’t ever keep something like this again, I thought we were trough that”, he reprimanded, and you nodded

“Yes husband”

You promised, inside this room or when it was just the two of you, you were his wife, not his Queen, and… it was hard to balance both, but he was patient, and you were smart.

In the next day Cregan would spend his days trying to get ahold of the current situation in the Kingdoms, and he felt somewhat unneeded, you were doing great without him, but he was happy to be back to take over so you could rest, as he had been told that you were falling asleep sometimes.

He was very concerned about the situation in Old Town, truly concerned, that was dangerous, but at the same time, he didn’t want to risk anyone from the small council, good thing though they had the Lannisters on their side this time

“We should call in the Tyrells”, you muttered as you ate a strawberry miniature pie, “make sure their alliances are still with us”

“Good plan”, he said over breakfast, “that way they will know they are alienated”

You had a bad feeling over the Hightower situation, it made you truly nervous. Summing up to the fact that Cregan wouldn’t leave your side.

It's like he didn’t trust you anymore, he was looming over you, watching you closely. Whenever you had an audience or a meeting he was right beside you 

You had grown impossible bigger, you could barely move, you had to call in your maids and ladies in waiting again, for you couldn’t even put on shoes without assistance.

Your only consolation is that your baby was kicking wildly every morning, and according to the maesters, she or he was healthy and ready to come out at any moment. 

You had also seen them very nervous, consulting with the stars and other methods to calm the small council about your own wellbeing, nobody said it outloud, but you could see the worry in their faces

Also according to the maesters, it was a 50/50 chance that you’ll perish, taking into account your family’s history, but they were hopeful, because you, as Queen, as access to the best maesters, and as it was more at stake, they were going to take great care of you.

Besides, your mother had given birth to 5 healthy boys, and you, and survived seven pregnancies. 

But her mother didn’t

You tried not to think about it

The small council, despise it all, were hopeful and had huge celebrations planned for the arrival of the future Prince or Princess

You were concerned about the future, of you, and of your child, but that was reduced to nothing as suddenly, when you were getting dressed, you felt like a fountain inside of you collapsed, and you released a large amount of water

“The babe!”, cried your lady in waiting, “fetch the maester and the midwives!”, she commanded quickly

Cregan had left early to go on a mission deep in the city, and he wasn’t in the castle when the midwives came to you, changed your clothes to a simple nightdress, and laid you there in your own bed.

You started crying out in pain as the contractions began, and according to the midwife, it could take all day, the process was long

“Mmmmm”, you moaned in pain, “I need to be on my feet”

“My Queen!”, you wouldn’t take no for an answer, they help you up and you walked around the room, rubbing your back with one hand and your belly with the other 

You needed to obey what your body needed, and you felt relieved as you walked around, taking deep breaths

“You are doing great, your Grace”, they encouraged, the sweet ladies. 

Another construction swept over you

“Notify the small council, and please try to find my husband”, you begged them, and they nodded and one of them ran to fulfill your command 

But your sweet and calm disposition didn’t last long

“THAT FUCKING CUNT!”, you screamed, hours later, laying on your bed, legs spread wide open, “I fucking hate him for doing this to me”, the oldest of the midwives just smiled, having flashbacks of Rhaenyra when she gave birth herself 

“Not long now, sweet Queen”

The small council was gathered, nervously waiting for news of you, they had servants all placed from the small council chambers to your rooms, so they could know what was happening.

“I had commanded the high Septon to keep our Queen in his prayers for the last week”, muttered lord Redwyne, who was very devout, but, it was not of great comfort to the remaining men in the room

“She will survive this”, asserted Lord Celtigar

“The maesters and midwives agree that it was a easy pregnancy”, affirmed the Grand Maester

They didn’t know what else to talk about

“Where is Lord Cregan?”

“He reached the Queen’s chambers”, said the Lord Commander, entering the room

“Good”

You felt so relieved when you saw Cregan entering your chambers, kneeling by your side

“Your Grace, is not customary for the King to be present during the Birth”, muttered the lead Midwife

“i don’t care”, he leaned in, kissing your sweaty forehead

“Are you alright my love?”, you barely nodded, grabbing onto him and the bedsheet, preparing for the next contraction that made your whole body tremble

“They are more close to each other, I think it's time”

“It hurts so much”, you cried, the grand maester showed up then, and made you drink the last of milk of the poppy that was allowed for pregnant women 

Cregan looked at the scene concerned, there was no blood yet, and it had been barely a couple of hours so, he was optimistic, you were in good health, and he was there by your side, it had to be alright, it had to.

“Alright, when the next contraction comes, your grace will start pushing, alright?”, you barely nodded, grabbing onto Cregan so tightly he was afraid you’d snap his hand, turning his bones into dust

And it washed over you, more intense and painful than the ones before, with a scream, you did exactly that.

You had never done it before, but it felt like your body knew exactly what to do 

But you have never been in so much pain in your entire life

Never

“Again”, demanded the Midwife, and you were really losing it in the pain

“There's blood”, muttered Cregan, truly concern

“That is normal your grace”, the pain never left you now, it took ahold of you and wouldn’t let go

You started crying, you were in so much pain you feared that there was never going to be relief again.

“Don’t cry my love, you are doing great”, he whispered against your temple

“I’m scared!”, you cried

“Again your grace please, I can see the head”, encouraged the youngest and sweeter of the midwives

“Arrrggghhhhhh!”, you screamed at the top of your lungs

. . .

Fast steps could be heard against the stone walls of the Keep, resounding in the empty corridors

The sun was hiding in the horizon when a young boy interrupted in the small council chamber, where the men inside jumped at the intrusion

“What has happened?”, demanded Lord Lannister

“The Queen!”, he said hastily, there were the longest seconds as he regained his breath

“Well? SPEAK BOY!”, demanded Lord Redwyne, he took a long breath and then he finally managed to spoke

“She is well, and we have a Prince! my lords! a boy!”

They all jumped from their seats and hugged one another

“A prince! send the ravens to every corner of the Kingdoms!”

“Long live our Queen!”

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It felt like your baby knew, as soon as Cregan left, you started showing, you had been married to Cregan for more than six moons, but it was complicated to tell which of all those numerous times he bed you did the trick, but the Maester believed you were almost four moons now 

Further than you expected

But also, as Cregan left, you felt terribly lonely, especially at night, your treacherous mind would draw sinister figures in the corner of your vision. You had trouble sleeping, only able to do so if there was at least one fire lighten in your room

You didn’t want to feel like this, you really didn’t, you wanted to be relaxed, for your child’s sake 

But it was proven really difficult, your tricky eyes would draw shapes of people in corners that were not really there, when you turned too quickly or even in the corner of your eye. You besides dealing with issues of a healing Kingdom, you wanted to keep your mind busy 

“Have you seen Vhaelar flying over the city this past week?”, you asked Ser Arryk

“No, your grace”, he informed dutifully, as he was commanded to keep an eye on your dragon

“I want to see her”, you inform him, he looked at your belly doubtfully, but when he looked back into your eyes, and the decision made, he didn’t question you, he just nodded

“I’ll get the dragon keepers and some of the guards to escort you, your grace”, he said and almost ran to fulfill the command 

You could feel how nervous they were as you were walking dangerous steps amongst the coast of King’s Landing.

You had put on your riding gear, even though you weren’t sure you were going to actually take a fly, but it is the only “suit”, that allowed you to wear pants without looking strange, and boots so you won’t slip in the rock and hurt yourself

Vhaelar never liked the Pit, and now that it was mainly destroyed, she nested in the cliffs near the castle 

You could hear her even before you saw her, you looked back at your escort and they stopped moving to allow you to get close to the huge cavern she rested in

“Vhaelar!”, you called, and you hear her acknowledgement in form of a more soft growl, you placed your hand on your belly excitedly, as you took a torch a dragon keeper offered you and walked inside

The cavern was huge, dark and moist, humid, it hit you like a slap, the smell of hundred of dead animals, burnt, devoured by your huge dragon

it was an issue, before you paid farmers for cattle and the cattle was taken to the Dragon Pit to feed the dragons, but now that Vhaelar roamed freely, it was harder to paid the farmers back for their troubles, but the crown did

Vhaelar’s huge head appeared in front of you 

“Rytsas, ñuha dōna riña, emagon ao issare ruaragon?”, [Hello, my sweet girl, have you been hiding here?]

“issa verdagon iā lenton, aōha dārōñe”, [She is nesting, your Grace], muttered a brave Dragonkeeper that followed you inside, you looked back over your shoulder, he was one that knew Vhaelar and how to interact with her, so she didn’t even move a muscle

“verdagon iā lenton?“,[Nesting?], you asked, excitedly, the man nodded, your hand went to your belly, you looked back at your dragon and you found her huge golden eyes looking down at your belly, and then at you

“ñuha dōna riña”, [My sweet girl], you whispered, placing your hand in her snout, and petter her until she purred almost 

Your dragon was going to lay a clutch of eggs, or egg, for your baby, they were right, there was a special connection between dragon and rider, you smiled warmly at the very thought. It also wasn’t strange, there was still some dragons in Dragonstone, the Cannibal for example, dragons she can mate with. 

This had certainly lightened up your mood for the rest of the day, as your guards were relieved that you decided against taking a short flight.

Vhaelar was to be left alone if she was indeed nesting 

It is indeed a wonder she didn’t burn you to a crisp

But now… as soon as you entered the castle, you felt like a dark cloud was on top of you and wouldn’t let go 

Cregan had done all he could to make the place nice for you again, there was a few weeks in which he would walk by your side and watch you carefully, everything you looked at and flinch, he would change for something else, all the tapestries and furniture, all of it, he would trade it for others, he even went as far as commissioning paintings from Lys to change the colors of the rooms

But still, it was still an impregnable fortress. Designed to not let anyone in… or out…

You tried to go about your day, but it didn’t take long, as the sun was hiding, for the shadows to start taking shapes.

Oh how you wished Cregan was there with you

You placed your hand in your belly

Cuddling you every night, placing his big hand on your belly like you were doing now, to feel your unborn child

Protecting you, making the shadows go away

You dismissed your ladies as soon as they took out your dress, and you put on your night shirt. You felt skittish about people touching you in your condition, you felt like you were cheating on Cregan somehow, by letting someone else touch your pregnant body. 

You got on the bed, and drifted off to sleep strangely quickly 

You woke up in the middle of the night, without apparent reason, you didn’t remember what you were dreaming about, but you woke up distraught, relieved that you actually woke up… and even a bit disoriented… and then… when you looked in the corner of the room.

You gasped, a tall figure was there, with his usual pose, hand grasped behind his back, standing up really straight, his long hair combed to perfection,  his eyepatch seemingly cutting his face in half, his remaining violet eye looking at you, with malicious intent 

Aemond was there, a smirk on his lips.

“Aemond? you are dead”, you whined, your hand on your belly protectively. In a quick movement he unsheathed his dagger hanging from his belt and made the knife dance in his hand 

Why him? of all of them, why was he presenting himself in front of you like this? because it's probably a dream, it couldn’t be real, he was dead! He was dead, well, they never found his body but he was dead, Daemon took him out with him in an incredible battle over the God’s Eye

Then you saw it

Dark sister, the sword, hanging from his belt 

“You would like me to be, wouldn’t you?”, he asked, his eye then traveled down your body to your small baby bump. He chuckled darkly as he saw your protective stance 

“My my, my little bastard having bastards of her own”

“He is not going to be a bastard”, you defended, “I’m married”, he chuckled again

“Oh yes, married and ruling the seven Kingdoms… Would you look at my pretty little bastard niece, how far she’s come”

Your breathing got heavy, you tried to sit on the bed, you did so slowly, your eyes never leaving his form

This couldn’t be real, he wasn’t here, this was some sick nightmare

But why does the hot tear that fell down your cheek felt so real?

“What are you doing here?”, you asked shakily, still, not being able to believe your own eyes, this felt way too real to be a dream, but it had to be, right?

Right?

He was quick on his feet, he had always been and he ran towards you who couldn't get out of bed and grabbed you by the neck, the dagger still on his hands

“Guards!”, you screamed but nobody came to your rescue 

“Is of no use”. he mocked, shaking you, you only could grab into his wrist, your other hand still protecting your belly from his anger, “nobody will come to save you. not even your idiotic husband”, he mocked then

“Cregan!”, you cried, as he could hear you, but you had sent him away, thousand miles away

He chuckled darkly

“Nobody is coming”, he threatened, “this feels like just old times, doesn’t it?”, he kept teasing, mocking you, provoking you, he didn’t squeeze, but he had you on a chokehold, you wouldn’t move  as he threatened your cheek with his blade, “me, sneaking into your rooms, late at night”

“Fuck you”, you grunted, “nothing ever happened, you just wanted to torment me”, you recalled

“Mhm, just like now”, he purred, he really hasn't changed since the last time you saw him, the dinner? was it? He looked older, perhaps, more tortured 

“What do you want?”, you whined

“You dead, me sitting on the Iron Throne, as is my right, bastard”

“They will never take you”

“They took you, didn’t they?”, he mocked, squeezing. You whined, scared not of him, but for your babe, your unborn child

“My baby”, you whined

“Ah, don’t worry, I’ll carve it out and leave it for the Stark to find if it concerns you such”, now you whined and twisted in the bed 

“No! my baby, he isn’t at fault!”, you were growing desperate, you looked to the side and found a heavy looking chandelier in the night table by your bed, at arm’s reach, you tried to grab it, making it drop to the floor with a loud “clang”, he then squeezed, tighter, and tighter, until you couldn’t breath, you thrashed and pushed but he wouldn’t let go… and everything went black 

You woke up taking a huge breath, like you had been shaken awake

You look at all directions, scared out of your mind

Gods… were you dead?

No… you were still in your room

it had all been a dream, a nightmare more like it

A horrible, gut wrenching nightmare…

Gods, what were you thinking? sending Cregan away like this?

You had been childish, keeping this important information away from your own husband, you couldn’t be like this, he was never going to let you flight up there, but… you wanted to tell him, you missed him, and even though that by your calculations he had been back home for at least a couple of weeks, you really hoped deep down, and in a very selfish way, that he’d return for you, for your unborn child.

You hated yourself for being so weak, so dependent, but… you would not live with yourself if he came back a year from now to an already grown child, his child, which he didn’t know anything about. 

So you rose from the bed even before the maids got to you, took a quill to paper, and started writing a heartfelt letter to your husband. Revealing your state, telling him why you hid it from him, and promising, if he so wishes, to go visit him.

After you finished writing it, you took it to the Maester yourself to be send at the earliest convenience 

If only you saw the chandelier on the floor before the maids return it to its rightful place 

. . .

Cregan took a long breath as he looked down at Winterfell, he smiled brightly, it felt so good to be back home, he spurred his horse on and started galloping, he couldn’t wait no longer, he felt like a little kid

But is his own child he wanted to see

He sent word before his arrival, so it was to no surprise that the entire castle habitants were waiting for him in the courtyard

He was finally home

After a huge march, after a bloody war, after taking the freaking capital, after marrying the Queen of the seven kingdoms, after all of that… he was finally back home 

“Our Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North and King Consort to the Queen (Y/N) of House Targaryen, his Grace Cregan, of House Stark”, chanted a soldier and he felt goosebumps in his arms when he heard all those titles 

He tried to look solemn, not like a twenty four year old who just got home after two years away, but as soon as he saw them, his family, all the solemnity went away 

There, at the long steps that led inside the castle, was his sister, his bastard sister Sara, and by her side, holding her hand, was his son, Rickon. He was… so grown, taller, his face was the one of a boy, not a babe like the last time he saw him, his dark curls… his big grey ghostly eyes just like him… He looked like his mother. 

He jumped off his horse and went straight for him

The boy seemed skeptical of him, but he didn’t care and he grabbed him in his arms and hugged him tightly

He was barely a boy of 6 name days

He had him so young and yet… he was his son and heir, his blood

“I missed you my boy”, he whispered against his head

“I missed you papa”, he answered, his voice choked, and still the one of a child

He released him then, and turn to his loving sister

He greeted the rest of them, all of them, he knew every face and every name still, they were his people, and before he could finally enter his home, he looked over the walls of winterfell… The gray wolf on cream and green field was no longer alone. The three headed red dragon with four legs stood by its side.

As he walked amongst the hallways he noticed that everything stood the same, like it had been for the last thousand years and it surely will be for the next 1,000.

The first thing he did was talk to the maester, to see if he had received any ravens from the capital. He couldn’t hide his disappointment, he hadn't had words from you since he left a moon ago.

But to no matter, he was home now, he needed to focus on what he was doing, he couldn’t be with you wishing he was home, and then in his home wishing he was with you. Your beautiful, golden, resented heart probably still ached for his departure, he could understand that, he read you better than you ever believed he did, he was going to give you time and write to you himself. 

He called his sister Sara to his private audience room, he needed to get acquainted with everything that happened here since he left 

Sara presented himself shortly after, with a silly smile on her face, now, she was his sister, not the Lady Regent of Winterfell

But as he saw her face… he sighed 

“Why do I feel you are somewhat disappointed?”, he asked with a mocking tone

“Well, I’m not gonna lie, we wanted to see her”, she said with a smirk

“Her?”, he asked

“Our Dragon Queen”, Sara said with a smile, “and her Snowy dragon”, Cregan chuckled

“I wish she could hear you”

“Is she as beautiful as they say?”, she asked enthusiastically 

“She is”

“Is she as strong…?”, she asked then

“She is”, he said then

“Can her dragon burn people to a crisp?”

“She can”

“She is a girl? so amazing!”, she said, “So… how are things… King Consort of the Seven Kingdoms?”, it didn’t take her long to start teasing him

“They are still working on the title, they believe the husband of an acting Queen shouldn’t be named King, but merely Prince, or something else”

“Whatever they call you, you still married the QUEEN!”, she said with her eyes wide and her smile broad. Cregan chuckled

“I did”, he said with a smile.

“Do you miss her?”, she asked then, “Is she coming here?”

“I hope so”, he said with a sad smile, “and I do miss her”

“Auw! my brother is in looove”, she teased

“It’s too early to talk like that”, he said, trying to return to his more authoritative facade

“You are married to the Queen! is actually too late to talk about love”

“We need to discuss what is happening in my Kingdom”, he said then, “I might be the king consort, but… I’m still Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North”, he said with a short smile

“Well… let’s start with the fact we don’t have any more men because after the war they decided to settle in the Riverlands…”

So as soon as he arrived home, he started the long process of audiences and meetings with his lords to attend to the most urgent matters of the North…

So as days turned to weeks, he started to worry, he send a raven to King’s Landing, communicating you of his arrival safely to his home, and asking for your well being

He wanted to see you

Perhaps he was being selfish, but… he requested your presence, perhaps you could take to the skies and visit him, it was not a strange idea, you were his wife, you were a skillful dragon rider who assisted in the war and burnt armadas to the bottom of the narrow sea. And the sunset sea like when you saved him and the rest of your small council

You could easily pay him a visit, right?

So you were expecting his answer, and he was expecting yours, two ravens sent weeks away from each other, but only one was set to arrive at their destination, not the other.

It was a few weeks until Cregan received word back from the you

The letter was vague and distant, claiming you were not going to be able to travel North due to important matters that required your attention

He couldn’t prevent feeling truly disappointed, he wanted to see you

You in turn, thought he had received your letter, and gave no answer but a request for you to travel North, without even acknowledging what it would be the greatest news for your marriage and the future of The Kingdoms, so just answered back that you couldn’t make the journey

You were heartbroken, but understood that maybe he was angry with you, and he had the reason to. 

Another moon went by, and another 

Cregan was teaching his son how to use the bow, that he had commissioned specially for him, when he received a letter, not from King’s Landing, but from Driftmark

A letter from the Sea Snake himself

Cregan found it amusing, and was truly curious about what Lord Corlys may want

Searching for a way in? most likely

Did he want to propose a union between their houses? Did he have a young girl he wanted to present for his son’s hand?

But Cregan never would have expected the news that came inside that letter

He was livid

Why had Corlys Velaryon written to him, congratulating him for the unborn prince of Dragonstone and heir to the Iron Throne?

Why would he be expressing his concern, chiding him as he was a child, of the dangers of his absence by his wife’s side?

Why was that nosy old bastard expressing his concern for the wellbeing of the royal marriage?

You were pregnant…

… With his child…

… You didn’t tell him…

… He was half the continent away…

What was he thinking? leaving you like this, without making sure you were not with child?

Why didn’t you tell him?

Why did you hide this from him?

You could have known after he left, but the thing is, you didn’t write to tell him…

What were you thinking? 

Allowing yourself to be left alone in these circumstances?

He called in Sara immediately

“Make preparations, I need to leave for King’s Landing as soon as possible”

“Did something happen?”, she asked, alarmed

“The Queen is heavy with child, my child, I did not know, I have to be with her by her side…”

“When do you want to leave?”, she asked, concerned

“As soon as possible”

“The preparations will take weeks”

“I’m aware, I will take Rickon with me too”

“Really?”, she asked, concerned, “But Cregan, there must always be a Stark in Winterfell”, he smiled, sliding a large parchment over the table towards her

“It’s going to be you”

It was a decreet, to make her legitimate, signed by you

He was going to return south, to you, and he was going to take his son with him, even though he didn’t think it was going to be a good idea, for his son to be influenced like this, but still, he wanted you to meet him, and if you were not going to come to him, he was going to take his son to you

Perhaps, he didn’t think he was going to be able to leave him again, not after everything, not after missing two years of his short life

Adding to the stress and problems he had at home, now he had to add his unruly wife, who hid her pregnancy from him, and a unruly Lord, who purposefully send him that letter with ill intent, passively revealing against them

Corlys Velaryon was acting with a spoiled child whom his parents paid no attention anymore

What was he to do with him?

What were you going to do with him?

As he looked out the windows of his rooms to the vast valley in front of him, his home, he couldn’t help but release a single tear that fell from his cheek.

He was overwhelmed, now sad, that you mistrusted him so much, you must truly hate him to keep your pregnancy from him

He was now himself divided, South and North, Lordship or Crown, his son or you and his unborn child

A child that was going to be the next Queen or King of the Seven Kingdoms…

and his people needed him too, so much, they were also healing from the war, and losing a great percentage of his male population.

But he then smiled

Oh his child, his unborn child, a baby, made from you and him…

He couldn’t help but giggle a bit 

Despite your beautiful, but resentful heart, oh he couldn’t wait to see you all fat for him, because of him, because of your and his child

“I want my hair loose”, you said faintly, as the maids nodded with shy smiles, as they brushes your silver strands 

Your dress was magnificent

A black background with red and golden intricate designs, open sleeves from your shoulders that had a beautiful drop, a low neckline.

The jewelry was exquisite, your neck was decorated with a golden dragon that curled around you, your wrists and fingers with gold as well, in your heart finger, you had a ring that belonged to your mother. 

“Your grace”, called in Ser Erryk, “the Lord hand and Lord Celtigar, both want to see you”, you barely nodded.

Both men entered the room and you watched them through the mirror, as they saw you they stopped in their tracks, their mouths open, but they regained their composure quickly

“In this day your grace, we have something for you”, said Lord Celtigar, who had brought a beautifully decorated box with him. You turned around in your chair, to be presented with said gift.

Cregan stood behind him, giving him space, as Celtigar theatrically bowed, and opened the box and showed you the insides

You gasped when you saw it, tears threatening to fall as you covered your mouth

“How? Where did you find it?”, you asked, your throat in a knot

“A low-life was trying to sell it in the docks of Claw Island”, he said softly

Your mother’s… and well… Jahaerys’ crown

When your mother rebels and traitors swarmed the capital and threatened the life of your mother, she had to flee and hide all over the Crownlands… and to be able to return to Dragonstone, she had to sell the crown

A sad tale… but in the end…

They had brought it back to you

“You will be crowned with the crown of the conciliator”, said Cregan, “with your mother’s crown, and King Viserys and King Jahaerys before her”

“Thank you”, you murmured, a single tear scaping you

“You look gorgeous, your grace”, said Reysen

“Thank you”

“I’ll give the crown to the master of ceremonies”, muttered Cregan, and you only nodded

They left once more, and the maids kept brushing your hair 

“More reason to have my hair loose”, you said softly and they nodded with wide smile on their faces

You were nervous, to say the least, it had been a long, nerve-wrecking week, in which you had met so many people you barely remember their faces, they had asked much things from you

And now you were getting crowned 

Once you were ready, you asked the maids to leave, and they did

You watched yourself in the mirror, as tears started pouring down your cheeks

“Gods!”, you cried, falling to your arms folded over the dresser

You would give all of this in a heartbeat to have them back… at least one of them… only one… luke…. or Jace… or your mama

The door opened but you didn’t want to see who it was, you waiting for whoever it was to leave, but that didn’t happen

You felt two strong hands grab you and turn you, and in a second your face was against a soft velvet vest, a hand in your hair

“Shhh, everything is alright”, you whined when you heard it was cregan, hugging you tightly, “it’s all alright, I’m right here, with you…”

“I wish they were here”, you whined like a little girl

“I know, I know”, he whispered against the top of your hair

“I would give everything”, you insisted, like he was the god of death capable of doing such exchange 

“I know”, he repeated softly, “they are ready for you, my sweet queen, it’s time… to make everyone proud up there, to shout to all corners of the seven kingdoms, that you, the last dragon, are still here, in honor of your mother, and your older brother”, you barely nodded, finally raising your head to look at him

“To tell all those sons of bitches that the blacks won. and you are alive and well, and they lost…”, you smiled as you wiped your tears. “I’m going to be there, by your side, or behind you, wherever you need me, i’m here…”

You needed him, Cregan realized, and not only to help you rule the kingdom, no, you needed him in a more intimate way… you were only a young woman, who lost everything, he had agreed to marry you, appealing to the power both of you held, but he could tell, that was not enough, in the intimacy you were both going to have, you were going to need more

So he leaned in, and kissed you

Just a peck, on the lips, as he held you softly by the face, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs, you leaned in gently, softly, and when you parted, he could see it in your eyes

In your still innocent eyes

You needed more from him…

You needed a husband, and a protector, a defender, a champion, a knight in shining armor…

And he was going to pick up that mantel

When Cregan stood up and give his back to you to open the door and start the procession, you touched your lips that were still warm, and smiled gently

Your first kiss… your first real kiss…

Cregan turned back to you and offered you his hand, you took it without thinking.

He had proved once again you could lean on him with ease, he was not going to turn on you, or judge you, or tell anyone… from this day forwards, he was in this with you, by your side… as your partner, as your King consort and Hand, as your husband in a few weeks, as your everything

The very thought frightened and excited you at the same time

He released you as soon as you came into the hallway, but you walked side by side, in complete silence, towards the throne room

The great doors were closed, and he looked at you intently

“I will take place by the throne, you will enter alone”, you barely nodded, “are you alright?”

“Yes”, you said shortly, he only nodded in turn, and he left you to enter the ceremony through one of the side passageways.

You just looked at the detail of the large wooden doors, playing with your fingers ahead of you

You were getting crowned, you were getting married soon, you were ruling a country because you were already of age… It was so many things… and you were alone at the top, with no senior to guide you, nobody you completely trusted… no… father or mother figure 

Only Cregan

You took a long breath

You weren’t even nervous… you were longing to get this over with, your hands were sweaty and your feet already hurt for the shoes even though beautiful 

Soon the music started, and the doors opened slowly, to reveal you to the room, people gasped and cheered for you, as you started walking slowly towards the end… towards…

The Iron throne

It was there, surrounded by spikes, melted swords of the enemies oft he house of the dragon

The cause of such bloodshed 

The cause of the annihilation of your family.

All those plots… from the greens, all that coin and gold, armies, and at the end

You smiled widely

The blacks had won, you had won, your mother’s blood will sit on the iron Throne

Screw them

If you could, you would dance over his graves… if only there were enough remains of them to bury…

You climbed both steps of stone before the throne, as discussed, and you turned to the people, a golden cape moving behind you

“Our new Queen!”, chanted Erryk

Your small council was there, the Grand maester brought, in a red velvet cushion, the golden crown of Jaehaerys The Old King

“With the crown of the conciliator, we crown you”, chanted the master of ceremonies, he took the crown, raised it for everyone to see, and then he turned to you and he placed it gently atop your head. It felt… good… the weight rather than bother you, it felt like it grounded you 

“Queen (Y/N) of house Targaryen, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms and protector of the realm, the last dragon, the unkillable, and like your ancestor before you… the conciliator”, he said firmly 

People applauded, cheered for you, as Cregan Stark moved forwards and took your hand softly, helping you up the treacherous steps until you sat on the Iron throne 

The throne was cold and uncomfortable under you, but you sat straight, holding onto the arm rests softly 

“Long live the Queen!”, he demanded of everyone, and again, they cheered and chanted your name for long minutes you thought were never going to end

After that was done, they paraded you to greet the people of Kinglanding that were gathered at the gates, with chants of your name, and everyone wanted to reach out to you…

There were so many people there, in the throne room, lords from houses you haven’t even heard of before, and the streets were packed, so packed, so many people screaming, reaching for you.

It came out of nowhere, you lost your footing, but before you could collapse, Creganw as there to grab you from your waist.

“The Queen, and future King consort of the Seven Kingdoms, Lord Cregan Stark!”, presented Eryk and then the people really lost it, screaming in delight, as the lords gasped behind you inside the walls of the Red Keep

Soon the doors to the exterior closed, and you were again inside the safety of the castle, With Cregan by your side, grabbing you by the waist.

“The marriage will take place in a week”, said Cregan to the new founded court, and everyone clapped once again, some of themes haring looks of concern amongst one another

Then he looked at you

You haven't discussed this, not at all

He had made that decision for you 

You didn’t know what to think or feel 

“So soon?”, you asked when you had him by your side, in the banquet for the celebration of your coronation

“Yes, everyone is here”, he said gently, “there had been rumors… of me… of us, gathering at late hours, I think is better to do it as soon as possible”, he said gently, you barely nodded

You had barely turn ten and eight a few moons ago, alone, trapped in your room

You took a shaky breath

Yes, you needed to get married, but you never thought it was going to be this soon! You talked about it, you understand the need, and that night when you summoned Cregan to your rooms, you knew it was happening

But one week?

You only stole looks at Cregan and you nodded, you then turn to your left, to your baby brother, who smiled softly at you, but the smile, just like yours, didn’t quite reach his eyes

He had seen so much

You too

Aegon didn’t even let you cover his eyes when he had his dragon eat your mother alive before your very eyes, and his eyes

Your brother was traumatized for life and there was nothing you could do to help him

One time, a few days ago, you tried to take him flying with you…

You had to hide the claw marks he left in your arms. He had scratch you to release him, in the midst of screeches and cries as soon as he saw your dragon in the distance

He was terrified of them now

“What’s on your mind?”, you heard Cregan ask beside you, you barely looked at him

“My baby brother”, you confessed, there was no point in lying 

You looked around the room and you found all of the great houses dining and feasting, all of them but two

The Hightowers and the Velaryons

You took a long breath

Corlys as Baela had requested audiences with you, and you had denied them

You didn’t hate Baela, nor Rhaena, she had a dragon egg now… but…

It was bitter

You had lived with them since you were about ten, when your mother married Daemon, they were, for some time, your step-sisters, and even that, they were… your aunts? you didn’t even know… 

But seeing them got you a bittersweet sentiment, perhaps because they were the survivors of all this madness, alongside with you… but the truth you would admit to yourself late at night… is that you would have traded them for your brothers anyday

You were resentful, that they were the ones to survive and not your siblings…

They had a life ahead of them, a grandfather that literally killed a King for them, to guide them and protect them

A man that betrayed your mother

She had grown resentful and paranoid, yes, but he turned his back on her when she needed him the most

You didn’t believe you could forgive him.

You were not a Velaryon, not by blood, and now, that you become Queen, not by name either… he never treated you as one, so that was it

You wanted to keep him at arm’s length 

But you didn’t even realized… that there was another house absent front he festivities

You were glad to see the capital boasting with life, like the days of old, like when you wee young and you were living in the good days of your grandfather King Viserys

A tourney had been organized, as competitions and festivities, and even though you found it dreadful, there you were… granting so many favoors you had your ladies and even servants braiding new ones each hour….

Perhaps all the knights in there, at least, most of them, asked for your crown of red roses and dark green leaves and golden feathers.

At the end, you were crowned the Lady of Love and Beauty by the winner, a Knight from the Vale. You watched your small council closely, and they all seemed pleased

Telling constantly how much the people were taking to you, how much they loved you even

Their new, young, beautiful Queen

The bards were singing songs about your beauty and your strength, no doubt they had been paid handsomely to do so

You felt… powerful

You sat in the most dangerous yet important seat of the realm, you had the last grown dragon on earth. 

You felt good, in control… until…

Until the day of your wedding.

Cregan had not accepted a marriage in the Sept, he did not follow the faith of the seven, and neither did you, so you accepted to be married in the godswood, by the heartree

It was going to create controversy, the small council said

But fuck the faith, the seven pointed star, and the heraldry that replaced all the dragons in the capital thanks to Alicent fucking HIghtower, and that you had already commanded to replace back to the likeness of your own dragon, and the three headed dragon of your house 

You were waiting for one word, one revolt, one bad new from the citadel to burn it to a crisp… luckily, it had been none

You thought they knew it as well, that you were looking for an excuse to do the same thing Maegor the cruel did

So the day of your wedding came quickly.

And as the maids braided your hair in a Northerner style, then, you felt nervous. Truly, nerve wrecking nervousness makes your hands shake.

You were about to be married… to Cregan Stark

A rough, authoritative man,a handsome and strong man, a man who was going to go back and forth and leave you for months at a time, perhaps years, but…

“Everything is going to be alright”, murmured the sweet maid, one that had served you since you were a child, manage to survive the Greens, she smiled at you through the mirror

“Thank you”, you whispered

“He is a kind man, and I have no doubt he will care for you”, she said with a complacent smile, and you only smiled widely 

“I know he will”

“If you’d allow me, your grace… your mother would have been proud”, she said then, and that brought tears to your eyes

“Thank you”, you cried with a smile on your face

You had married an entire continent last week, promising to give your life in service to the crown and the countries that were under your reign, and now… you were going to give your body… to another

To a man

Septas had taught you what you needed to know -according to them- about marriage, of how a woman must serve her husband, about you had to lay on your shared bed and let him do what he needed to do, bed you, breed you, how it was a woman’s job to have his husband’s children and heirs…

Of course you were nine at the time, your mother when she found out dismissed the Septa, fought hard with Alicent, saying that over her dead body she was going to allow the Old Queen to take charge of your education ever again

That was fun to watch, scary, but fun, to see your mother so protective and angry

And then you discovered “how babies were made”, by not by your mother in a nice chat or anything really, you discovered it the funny way, with your brothers and stepsisters, sneaking off the Castle in Dragonstone and going to the town, following soldiers to pleasure houses, then you were thirteen 

And then stealing racy books from the library 

But this was no time to think about that

You stood up, already dressed, your hair done, no much jewelry, only a nice beautiful white dress, yes it was the wedding of the Queen, but you had been celebrating your coronation for a week now, the Kingdoms had just been through a gruesome war, it was not fair, for them, for you to spend so much

Your wedding, a banquet afterwards, and baskets filled with food that were to be distributed through the streets of King’s Landing

And Cregan… well

He was nervous as well, more like, getting it over with already…

The sooner you settled in, with the throne and in your marriage, the better 

He fixed the silver velvet vest on him, and the large gold chain they had made him wear, it was a warm day, and his pants, he felt them too tight, as he was waiting for you in the Godswood. Was he doing the right thing?

He was going to be in the depths of one of the things he hated the most…

Politics

When he gathered his army and marched south in search of “justice”, this was not what he expected, to the the second most powerful person in all the realms

It was a constant thought, he never, in a million years, would hope he was going to end up here, waiting for…

He raised his head when they announced you

There you were

All his doubts disappeared

You looked… breathtakingly beautiful, positively godly

Not intimidating, like an empress of an old dynasty on the day of your coronation, now… you looked like the embodiment of a god of the waters or snow itself, made flesh… Dressed in a beautiful white dress, no much finery but only you, your hair arranged in a 

Northerner way that made him smile. Now his pants were truly tight

Tyland Lannister was escorting you

As soon as he had you within grasp, he grabbed your hands and accommodated you by his side, facing his commander of his army, an old man from house Mormont. 

“Who comes before the old Gods on this day?”, asked the tall man

“(Y/N), of House Targaryen”, presented Tyland, with his deep voice, summoning complete silence from everyone present. “She comes here to be wed. A woman grown, trueborn, and noble. She comes to beg for the blessing of the Gods, who is here to claim her?”, he asked almost defiantly, looking at Cregan, who took a step forward

“I Cregan Stark, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North, I come here this day before the gods, to claim this lady, who gives her away?”, he asked

“I, Tyland Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock, and Warden of the West”, he said firmly, releasing you right next to Cregan, you both looked at him and smiled, and then turned to the man presiding the ceremony

“My lady, (Y/N) of House Targaryen, do you take this man?”, he asked

“Yes”, you answered, it came more gently than you expected, “I take this man”, you said loudly and almost enthusiastically, and you felt people chuckling, and bit your lip, embarrassed. But the man presiding the ceremony smiled at you, and your now husband, grabbed your hand in his big one

“So Cregan Stark, take your wife, Lady (Y/N) now, of House Stark”, he said, and Cregan was on you in a second, he cradled your face in one of his hands, you looked up at him and your eyes met his, just for a second before you closed them since he leaned in and trapped your lips into his. You tried to relax into the kiss, your second kiss ever, with now your husband

Those closest, members of courts and Lords and Ladies from the noblest houses applauded, the gardens filled with all of them, you separated from Cregan and greeted them 

“My beautiful lady wife”, he whispered in your ear, making you smile at him

Gods he was handsome, especially with hat devilish smile

And you were married to him

Despite your secret wishes, the day went incredibly fast, and before you knew it, you were being led to your chambers… not the King’s… meaning yours, but others… Cregan’s… tonight, you were not a Queen, but a lady wife, the way it was supposed to be

The small council, and others Lords and Ladies followed you closely, but as soon as you were inside the room, Cregan stood up, shielding you from them 

“Out”, he demanded, surprising you

“But my lord… the bedding ceremony…”, stammered Tyland

“I don’t care”, he said, and you then stepped out…

“No bedding ceremony”, you said firmly, and that was enough for them to leave you alone

Alone with your husband…

You looked at him nervously, he turned softly, to look at you.

You looked around in turn, recognizing these rooms immediately, these were the rooms Cregan was using now, but before they belonged to…

He moved slowly, his eyes on you, you looked back at him

“If this marriage is going to work, I need to make something very clear”, he said seriously, he came at you quickly, and grabbed you, his hand was so big against you that with only one he placed it at the side of your neck and face, he grabbed you softly but decisively, and make you look at him, “out there, you are the Queen, but here? inside this room? as soon as you step inside, you are mine”, he growled, and he smirked when he saw your pupils enlarged, “you are my dutiful lady wife, mine to command, mine to guide, mine to bed, mine to breed, am I clear?”, he asked with an authoritative voice that made your legs shake, you nodded, your eyes not leaving his, but they betrayed you. You were a bit scared of his words. He caressed your cheek, “mine”, he said, this time more softly, “mine to cherish, mine to care for, mine to love, mine to make love to…”, your eyes shined with excitement then and you smiled brightly at him 

“Love?”, you asked as you were a little girl

“Would you like all those things?” He asked, his playfulness and rough eyes returning to him as he made you tilt your head back slightly. You managed to nod

 “Your words, my love”

“Yes Cregan”, you whispered 

“Inside this room, I’m your Lord husband”, he commanded severely

“Yes my lord husband”, you corrected quickly 

“Good girl”, he leaned on and trapped your lips on his on a fervent kiss, you were barely able to catch up, the third time you had kissed Cregan… this time was different, this time, there was nothing to prevent you from… escalating the kiss

“Do you want to consummate the marriage now?”, he asked, and you barely nodded, “your words wife”

“yes husband”, you barely said, looking into his eyes, he only smile, but didn’t kiss you again, his lips instead, traveled south 

You moaned softly, feeling his lips suck on a very tender spot in your neck

“In this room, we are husband and wife only, only us, two people, joined for life”

“Only us”, you whispered, with expert hands, he undoed your dress, letting it fall to the floor, he even undressed himself, as you didn’t even know where to start. He didn’t push you, he did all the work, as you were so nervous, terribly nervous.

He laid you on the bed covering you with his large body.

He kissed everywhere he could reach, he caressed your skin, making you shiver, moan, and spread your legs even further for him… You didn’t even know someone else could make you feel like this…

You tried to caress him in turn, his upper arms, his shoulders, his side, his mouth returned to yours, as his fingers worked you open for him…

The voice of the septa wouldn’t stop resounding in your head… you laid there, let him do his things, you wouldn’t know what to do anyways… and in turn… he made you feel the most exquisite pleasure… that you had never felt before…

When he entered you, you dropped a few tears from the sudden and sharp pain, but then, after he soothed you and gave you time to adjust to his size… he fucked you slowly, delicately, gently, holding you in his arms, and kissing all over your face and neck

You could tell he was holding up… from doing more things to you… but if only that night, he was exactly what you needed.

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“Arra”, you woke up as he was again lost in his mind, “Arra my love”, he was dying, his mind was delusional in fever and yet, you felt your chest tightening, “Rickon”, he only whispered the name of his first wife, his childhood friend, and the one of his son

“I will care for him”

He whispered 

He was burning up again, after getting better the day before when you got there to tend to him. You stood up, and searched for the Grand maester 

“I can’t lower the temperature of his grace”, you cried to the man all the way in the tower of the hand

“Your grace, you should be in your rooms”, he said urgently, “if you catch the disease, we are all lost”

“I need you to help me with Cregan, he caught it”, you cried.

The man and Arryk ran to your side, and towards Cregan’s rooms, he had not eaten not drink anything since the day before, no matter how much you tried to give him sips of water.

The Maester checked on him dutifully

“His temperature is great, your grace”, he said, in his eyes… you didn’t even want to think about it, you didn’t even want to think about what it meant

“No, do something! anything!”

“Let’s prepare him a bath”. The Red Keep had been deserted, but by a handful of servants that were obligated to stay in the palace ground and have no contact with the exterior, those helped you and Arryk make a bath for Cregan.

The maester placed his boney hand on the water, the other, on Cregan’s forehead

“It’s ready your grace”, both the water and Cregan’s high temperature being the same, Arryk, the maester and you grabbed Cregan and placed him on the water slowly

He whined and grunted

He was chanting another woman’s name in his fever induced dreams, and his son’s name. She had died in childbirth, or rather after, but his son? you had kept him from him, from seeing him and taking care of him like any father should

You didn’t know what to do about that, could it be that he dreamed of the life he once had rather than the one he had now? He hadn't muttered your name not once, and you tried to focus on rather doing whatever you could to help him instead of this… silly things

But you were his wife now, and you were expecting his child, even though you haven't confirmed it with the maesters, and… he didn’t know yet, but still…. would he hold you in his thoughts as he did his former wife?

After all, the child you were carrying was not going to be his, he belonged to the Targaryen dynasty, and the Iron Throne, it was not a normal child, his heir… was in Winterfell…

You hold him as he rested in the tub, the theory was that at matching temperatures, as the water started to get more tempered, so will he, his body temperature lowering

With a cloth you kept his forehead and head also wet, with the current temperature of the water.

As minutes trespassed, his face seemed more relaxed, his temperature was indeed lowering

Would he regain consciousness? would he ever look into your eyes and speak to you again?

You had to believe he was going to

As he grunted into consciousness, the maester made him drink some tea with other herbs, and he did, that itself was an improvement.

Once the water was cold, you removed him from the water, dried him, and even he himself stood, with your help, and you laid him back down on fresh sheets.

His fever was no longer there, almost, it had worked, but the Maester had given him milk of the poppy so now he had fallen on a thick sleep.

“There it is your grace, soon he will wake, and when he does, he most likely, left this disease behind him”, muttered the Maester, “if the fever doesn’t return, if it does, please, call for me”

“Thank you”, both men left you alone with your husband

You sat by his bedside, taken his hand on yours, scared his fever will raise again

The night fell over the Seven Kingdoms, and you were so tired, that you fell asleep, your head laying on the rough sheets by his side, his hand on yours

Sleep took you without you fighting it, letting you slumber in dark dreams as dark tides swallowed you whole.

You dreamt about being in one of the royal vessels, it wasn’t nighttime, but it looked like it, the clouds so gray, so dark, they could swallow you whole. The boat was at the mercy of the waves, the sea was wild and dangerous, you felt like you lose your footing on deck

There was no one in sight but you, but you felt ghosts of people all around you, moving the sails, working the ship

You knew you had a destination and that you had come from King’s Landing, but the uncertainty as you crossed the storm was making you tremble. You were alone, nobody you knew was in sight, and in your dream, you knew… Cregan was not there with you.

Behind the clouds, you could hear a dragon, it wasn’t Vhaelar, it was someone else…

You woke up because you felt a squeeze, a gentle squeeze, you opened your eyes, alarmed, and when you managed to focus them, some gray eyes were staring back at you

“What are you doing here my love?”, he asked, and you couldn’t help but cry out of happiness and relief, once you placed your hand on his head, making sure he was clear of the fever

Two months, you had been battleting the disease that stretched out far and wide, but as it came, it went away… for those who survived…

Within the castle, it had taken many lords and ladies, but the most important within your circle was… Alicent and Lord Tyland Lannister.

The former, that sick woman, literally and figuratively, has snuck out of her rooms, sick with the winter fever, and tried to barge into the nursery, Jahaera and Aegon’s rooms. According to Arryk, she had screamed the name of your baby brother with “murderous intent”, she wanted to see him, to make him catch the disease as she screamed, scaring the children, which only worsened the situation because then the mad Queen was conscious that Jahaera was there… her only living descendant

She lost it then, but she was a sickly and weak woman, and once the soldiers gathered she was easily taken back and locked in her rooms.

She refused her green dresses, she wanted to jump off a window, in the end she died with sorrow on her face and your mother’s name on her tongue.

You felt relief, and you couldn’t hide it

But the loss of Tyland did strike you and your family. He had been there since you could remember, even if sometimes he was an idiot, he was there, and had been faithfully for you since Aegon died, probably poisoned with his help

Anyways, you were barely getting the hand of your small council.

But the Lannisters did not want to let the post go, so they were going to send Tyland’s cousin. You were looking forward to him, now with Tyland gone, and Jason dead in the war, the line had to change within the Lannister House, but it remained strong, as they assured you. 

You wanted to be so relieved that Cregan survived, but every time you saw his face, you were reminded of his face twisted in fever and agony, chanting another woman’s name like a prayer. 

You felt so terribly guilty for keeping him here.

So you… as soon as he was better… you demanded of him to go to Winterfell

“No, I’m not leaving you”, Cregan said, passing around the room

“You need to go home, Cregan, to aid in this crisis, the maester suggests that once you caught it and survive, you won’t caught it again”, you said quickly

“The disease is still raging, you are still…”

“I won’t catch it”, you said firmly, “I’m from the blood of old Valyria, blood forged with magic”, you said, he chuckled, mocking you, but you were not joking

“My love..”, he said condescendingly, but you didn’t budge.

“Tyland’s cousin is coming, the realms are at peace, it’s time”, you sentenced 

He didn’t fight you anymore, and it broke your heart even more to see the excitement in his gorgeous eyes. He might be trying to deny you, but he couldn’t hide it, he was excited to leave, and you couldn’t blame him

The mere thought of being without him for so long made your stomach twist, you hand instinctively went to your lower belly, Cregan noticed

“Are you well?”, he asked, you nodded

“I’m fine”, you said

“You look different”, he said with caution

“It was a hellish week”, you answered back

“I see”

You had yet to confirm your doubts with the maester, but you were certain

You were with child

And you were about to send the father back home for spite, well, not quite, but, you were pushing him away, to leave your side. Without him knowing.

So as Cregan was distracted with preparations for his departure, you went to visit the Grand Maester.

“Wonderful news, you are indeed with child your grace”, the old man said, he had been your mothers Maester, he probably aid in your own birth, his eyes filled with tears of happiness

“I’m so glad”, you muttered, “but we must keep this between us, it’s to soon”, he nodded eagerly

“Are you going to tell Lord Cregan?”, he asked

“I’m not sure”, you admitted 

“But the hand is leaving your grace”, he said softly. 

“I know”, you said shortly

Within a week, Cregan was ready to leave, and even though you wanted to cry and hold onto him, you stood in front of him in the Royal Harbor 

“If you take a lover, please be careful, and don’t let him plant his seed in your belly”, he whispered, you only looked at him

“The same goes to you husband, don’t plant your seed on another woman’s field”, you answered meaningly

“Wouldn’t dream of it”, he whispered

“Good”, did he really think you could take anyone who isn’t him? Now you wanted to cry even more 

You were angry, you didn’t even know why… Your heart was breaking at his departure, and you did not want to feel like this, you wanted to get it over with

Your marriage still did not feel concrete enough, he, Cregan, has as well been forced to marry you, nothing else, and even though he and you too have taken joy in bedding each other, there was nothing else there.

Yes he cared for you, but like a sworn sword would care for his princess, nothing else

He frowned when he saw how you evaded him with your eyes

“You are alright? I’ll be back before you even notice”

“You will lose the tide, my love”, you said soulesly, “you should go”, that would have offended him, if he hadn't seen you all angry and offended like you were. He only smirked.

You were angry because he was leaving 

And that made him glad somehow

You cared 

“I’ll be back before you know it, the small council already promised to keep you entertained”, he said softly

“Yes husband”, you muttered, not feeling it, you were like a little child, being comforted by a parent. 

“And I wouldn’t oppose a visit from you, on dragonback”, he teased, you barely smiled

“Very well”, you muttered

“I will arrive in Winterfell in three weeks”, he said with hope in his voice, you barely nodded, again, evading his gaze.

You weren’t angry at him, you were angry at the situation, but it still hurt, very much so, his departure, the thought of not having him by your side, in your bed, not waking him to his hand on your body and his lips on yours

But he had called another woman’s name on his sleep

He leaned in, grabbing your face on his hands softly, and he kissed you hungrily, with longing, you did as well

“Please send word, whatever happens, anything”, he demanded against your lips, you only nodded

“Yes my lord husband”, he gave you a last smile and nodded.

He was taking a grand part of his army with him, those who wanted to return home, but many stayed, in King's Landing or in the Riverlands. 

As you watched him go, you turned to the maester

“Your grace! you didn’t tell him”, he chided softly 

“What kind of wife would I be if I kept him from his son this long? the fever almost took him, what if he never saw his child again?”, you whined, but as you watched the boat sail away, you wiped those thoughts from your mind. You turned to the maester with a soft smile

“We shall tell the small council, that I am with child, now that my husband has just left, I will not give ground for doubts on the paternity of my unborn child as were my brothers”

“Never, my sweet gracious lady”, he said, “we shall tell them this very meeting later today”, you only smiled softly 

You summoned them as soon as the ship’s sails were no longer visible in the horizon

“Lord Cregan just left, we expect him to return in less than a year”, you said firmly, you didn't know where the strength came, you wanted to be curled up in your room, crying, hugging your pillow, your chest was constricted against the fabric of your dress.

You missed him already

You can’t believe he is gone, that you were not going to see him for the next year, or so… that you were expecting his child, and you were going to give birth to him or her… alone, completely alone, without your husband

But it was the right thing to do, you knew it, you couldn't be this selfish, he had a family of his own, a whole country that he needed to see. If you would have told him, he wouldn’t have left, another year far from home, another year away from his son.

You couldn’t have that

“The year will pass swiftly your grace”, muttered Lord Redwyne, “not to worry”

“There is something else”, you said, sharing glances with the Maester, “I’m with child”, there was a few awkwards silent seconds, and then the room exploded with cheers and words of encouragement

“That is great news, your grace!”

“A new prince or princess! A new era!”

“The country is flourishing again”

You only smiled

“Congratulations your grace”, said Lord Celtigar by your side, “But Lord Cregan just left”, he muttered

“Yes, in reality he does not know, and we must kept it that way”, you said firmly and the room was quiet, “he needed to go back home, to resolve some matters of the greatest importance, and he wouldn’t have gone if he knew the news”

“Very well, as your grace commands”, said Lord Redwyne

“This is for the greater good”, you assured them, and the men at the table changed their concerned looks.

You didn’t even wanted to go back to your rooms, you wanted to keep yourself distracted, the castle was still in high alert because of the disease, but still, you finally were able to visit your brother Aegon and Jahaera, who, against all odds, had finally bonded in a somewhat sweet friendship.

They already know how to read, so all this time in confinement had allow them to read and read, history books, children’s books, books about animals, their minds were distracted and absorbed in other things, they had finally managed to reach some other emotions rather than sorrow, and you were so grateful

Their nannies were excellent and had aid them in that as well, keeping them distracted

But the night came anyways, no matter how distracted you kept yourself, and even though if for the past two months you had been sleeping alone, now that you knew Cregan was not even in the castle, that each passing second he was sailing further and further away… you couldn’t sleep

And when you did, terrible nightmares tortured your mind

You were again on that ship, Cregan was with you and… the waves and the storm dragged you to the bottom of the ocean, the waves tearing you apart. 

You were alone again, and it was of your own making.

Cregan could already feel the cold breeze hit his face, he was excited, he couldn’t wait any longer to get home… 

He looked over his shoulder, back towards King’s Landing, where you had remained, he had second thoughts about leaving you, he did, but he knew you were going to be alright, you had to be. You were stronger than you seemed

You were surely going to visit him in Winterfell, right?

You didn’t want to admit it, but you cared for him, you did, you had challenged a dangerous disease just to tent him, made sure he survived. Being with you strengthening your relationship was vital, but… either way, you were not yet with child, once you were, he was never going to part from your side, so it had to be now, that is what he thought

He didn’t need to stay one year away, he was going back home with news for his sister and to feel the current climate, that wat, he might even be able to return sooner to you, perhaps you even felt stronger to fly back to Winterfell to see him, that would certainly improve everything, he thought

When he came back, he was going to tell you to make a tour throughout the Kingdoms, they needed to see you, see their Queen.

He breathed in the fresh sea breeze, and smiled.

He was coming home to see his son, and yet, he couldn’t wait for you to see Winterfell, he couldn’t wait for you to meet his son… He couldn’t wait… for your future together.

He had survived, thanks to you, he had survived the deathly fever, for you, for his son, for the children he knew you were going to give him, for the future of the Kingdoms.

He just needed to… learn to combine his worlds together.

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So this is what she meant with “that could be easily arranged”, Cregan thought, as he saw his Queen petting the snout of her huge fearsome dragon

Vhaelar? She called it?

It was big, very big, not that he had many dragons to compare it to besides Jacaerys’ dragon, this one was much bigger

White, it was unusual, his scales lit up under the sun, giving him an unrealistic look, like the huge beast didn’t belong in this plain

He had just seen it burn eighteen men to dust and yet, the creature didn’t even spare him a look, he didn’t felt threatened by the dragon, like she wouldn’t hurt him, like she knew him

You were speaking to her, in a language he couldn’t understand, perhaps it was High Valyrian, only he heard you speak his name to the dragon

And then the beast directed her golden eyes directly at him. it was barely a second before she turned her whole attention back to you

You were speaking to her, and she understood you perfectly 

The last child of Rhaenyra, the young Queen, the last dragon

An impulsive, broken young girl, young QUEEN, had the last dragon, the only one left

He smiled widely

You had the anger, and the power to back it up, you were going to be loved by your allies and feared by those who weren’t, and that was the perfect combinations, loved by millions, feared by them too

The huge beast raised her head, growling, you took some steps back and she took flight, her huge wingspan making his clothes flutter like it was the wind. You walked towards him with a soft smile on your face.

But the smile didn’t reach your eyes, it never did 

“I thought the dragons in your family…”

“She didn’t rest on the pit, that is why she was spared from the traitor’s rage”, you referred to the common folk as traitors… 

“The trials have come to an end, your grace”, he said surely

“Indeed”, you muttered

“Yet, I have send ravens to all corners of the realm, people from all over will come to swear their allegiance to you, so… busy weeks are coming”, he warned, you barely nodded

“I’m glad”, you said softly

“But not only that… they will not only bring their oaths, they will bring their problems, I fear I must warn you, they will make demands of you, the entire continent was devastated by a civil war, every town, city and holdfast”. You heard him intently and nodded

“Yes, thank you, my lord Stark”, you offered a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes, and he sighed barely loudly

Should he be scared of you?

He felt like he was very close to a wild animal, he would never know how or when you were going to react. He was waiting for the perfect moment for you to snap and turn on someone or something

He really hoped you wouldn't

But somehow… he hoped you would

He wanted to see the fire in you, he had to stoke it, because fire was better than nothing, fire was better than the remains…

You were sitting the most dangerous seat on the realm, he needed you to be dangerous, if only a little bit, he needed to see the fight in you, a passion of some sorts 

That night he found you in the library, to his great surprise, you were reading tomes about Jaehaerys and Aegon the Conqueror’s rule 

You were tired, but didn’t want to relent the story about how The Good Queen Alyssane prohibited the Prima Nocta and with which laws

The Lord Hand my Queen, introduced your Queen’s Guard, you smiled at the man as you closed the huge and dusty book

“My Lord Hand”, you greeted

“My Queen”, he said, “may I”, he said painting to the chair, you nodded

He sat slowly in front of you, he got rid of his cape, instead wearing a leather best instead

“What are you reading? if I may ask?”, he said softly

“Just somethings about the laws that were created by the Good Queen Alysanne”, you said dismissively, “you needed to speak to me, my lord”

“It’s time, imperative and time sensitive that we name the new small council, we cannot rule without one”, he said, you barely nodded, “we will need, A master of coins, a master of laws, a master of ships, a Grand Maester, and… a Master of whispers if you choose to have one, and of course, a Hand and the Lord commander of your Queensguard”, he listed

“We have you”, you said with a smile, and Cregan barely nodded, this was not the time to inform you he wanted to return to the North… he will give you more time, “And Lord Arryk”, you muttered, “we have mAESTER gERARDYS”

“You wish to name him Great maester?”, he asked, you nodded, “very well”

“I don't trust anyone else”, you whispered

“What do you mean?”, he asked, concerned

“Maesters come from the Citadel… of Oldtown… of the Hightowers”, you whispered, Cregan nodded

“Yes, I understand your concerns”, he said softly, “how about Lord Corlys?”, he said then

“He is old, and betrayed my mother”, you said quickly, “his time has passed”, Cregan nodded

“I’m not sure if antagonizing House Velaryon is a good idea”, he said gently

“We pardoned him, and let him keep his properties”, you muttered, “he will have to be contented with that and his granddaughters”, you muttered

“Very well”, he said

“No Velaryons, no Hightowers”, you said firmly

“Tyland Lannister”, he said

“Master of Coin”, you said with a nod, “he might be a Lannister but he served King Viserys and…. Aegon… loyaly, we need the Lannisters”, you admitted, he nodded

“Great”

“After the war, who do you think has the greatest armada of the Seven Kingdoms?”, you asked 

“It has to be the Redwyne’s”, he said firmly

“Are they summoned to court?”

“Yes my Queen”

“Good”, Cregan smiled as you never stopped to surprise him

“They pledge for Aegon, but I’m sure under the right circumstances, they will bend the knee to you”

“Then we will make sure, that the Tarlys present themselves first”, you said, “the Lords of the Reach, and make sure we serve their wine at the festivities”, Cregan nodded 

“So, we have a grand maester, a Lord Commander, a Master of coins and luckily a master of ships…”, he listed

“We need a maester of Laws”, you said softly, “a strong, joust man…or woman”, you corrected, “someone who draws respect…someone who knows the real world, who has traveled and seen to the furthest corners of the Realm”

“You are describing Lord Corlys”, he said, concerned

“There has to be someone else”, you whined

“I might know someone”, muttered Cregan, “He served the blacks”

“Good”, you muttered with shy smile

“He is at court, he was summoned when I called for the remainder of your mother’s small council”. Yes, introducing you to important Lords and Ladies of the realm, he needed to ease you into politics, who to trust and who don’t

Making you Queen was not only for revenge, not because it was the right thing to do…

Were you actually good for this? where you meant for the throne?

“Even if we don’t need a master of whispers, I think we should have one”, he said softly

“Who that might be?”, you asked back

“I will look into it”, he was also going to look into who was going to replace him as hand when his inevitable return to the North comes to be, but he didn’t want to say that yet…

He needed you stable, and surrounded by people you trust first

“You should have some sleep my Queen we all need it”, he said gently, you nodded, and raised from your sit, “I’ll walk you to your rooms”

He had the rooms of the king ready for you, and it was a curious thing to sleep there, but you did, it had been two years since your grandfather, and your mother didn’t use the rooms, so… it wasn’t that odd.

They replaced the upholsterers, tapestries and paint, and it looked beautiful, filled with flowers and soft colors, you liked it, it was spacious

Cregan stopped at the doors

“Thank you, my lord Stark”, you didn’t know why, but you always felt relaxed and safe next to him, but now, you felt nervous

“You are most welcome my Queen”, he said softly, “tomorrow, I’ll introduce you to your prospect of Master of Laws”, he said softly, “we were made brothers at arms at a time in White Harbor when I was very young”, he said softly

“Good”, you said said with a soft smile, “If he is a friend of you, he is a friend of the crown”

“you are speaking like a true Queen”, he said with a relieved smile

“Good night, my lord hand”

“Good night my queen”. he said firmly, and you closed the door gently, as a guard was posted at your door

The Very next day, the sweet maids dressed you in one of your mother’s dresses, of when she was young, a reed dress with details of gold and a white collar that made you look truly regal, they fixed your hair and applied a soft powder in your face to even the colors on your skin

They even placed rings in your fingers and a necklace in your neck

Cregan thought a private introduction was better for you, so he ask you break your fast in the gardens, it was getting chilly, but the morning were still beautiful 

As you already had some buttered bread and fruits, Cregan nodded to the man beside them, both appearing  in the garden.

You were a bit startled when Arryk announced them, but smiled as you saw both men approaching

Of course you recognized Cregan, but the man besides him? Gods

He had a… singular… appearance, he was of a dirty blond hair, unruly beard decorated by silver beads, his hair was long thought trimmed in the sides letting you see the skin of his head, the hair that remained, in the center and top of his head was braided backwards by a long braid, he had tattoos in the sides of his skull, he was dressed in blue leather, and furs, high boots. 

He was… peculiar

“My Queen”, said Lord Stark, “may I introduce to you, Lord Reysen Celtigar”, he said, “Son or Bartimos Celtigar, your mother’s master of coins”

“Celtigar?”, you called, impressed

“My beautiful Queen”, he said, dropping to the floor in front of you, “You must not remember me, you were young, but in the years you lived in Dragonstone I visited a few times with my grandsire and father”, he said quickly, “I was, being the second son, send to travel the world, I was not here for the war, sadly…”

“Your house loyalty to mine is clear, my lord”, you said softly, “you should you join me for breakfast”

“You are too kind”, both men sat in front of you

“Lord Celtigar here has traveled far and wide, all over the Seven kingdoms, and even Essos and beyond”, said Cregan softly

“Really?”, you asked

“I shall tell you everything you’d like to know, my sweet Queen”

And Cregan Stark and Reysen Celtigar distracted you from the shadows lurking on the corners of your eyes.

Cregan saw how Reysen shamesly would court you in front of him, how your smile lit up the garden and how you’d giggle like the young women you actually were, this was going to be good for you, have men that are blindly loyal to you, rather by loyalty, or pure desire and love, but loyal in the end.

And that is how the Celtigar was named Master of Laws, he was young, yes, but he had seen things many haven’t yet, he was of Cregan’s age, and his elder brother was the Lord of Claw Island, fiercely loyal to you and your cause.

With a small council made up, people named, only Lord Redwyne was missing.

The Hightowers you hated… wholeheartedly, but you needed to rally the other most important houses of the reach, with the Redwyne and the Tarlys that was possible, assured also

In the coming days and weeks, the castle was brought back to life and filled with people oof all noble houses, the entire city was receiving thousands of lords, ladies and their people

And audiences needed to begin, people were going to swear their allegiance all over the week, they were going to make pleas and requests, and at the end, they were going to watch you being crowned, the location was yet to be disclosed, and Cregan feared you had to make this happen in Harrenhal, were it could held a host this big, but it was too late.

You were going to be crowned at the Throne room

And Cregan could see that your heart was not truly invested, but… today he had the maids dress you and fix your hair in a magnificent way, dressed in black and red and gold, your hair mostly let loose, decorated with golden treads, and a crown made by your own hair half of it braided in magnificent braids

Not a Queen, but you looked like an empress

the epitome of royal power

And the entire seven Kingdoms was going to see you like this. 

He escorted you, alongside your small council, and sat you on the Iron Throne, in front of the room filled with expectant lords and ladies 

“This day, we receive you most lustrous Lords and Ladies from all over the Seven Kingdoms”, presented Cregan, “for you to swear your allegiance to the new Queen and bring an end to the conflict that devastated our lands for two years”, he said out loud, “you stand in the presence of (Y/N) of House Targaryen, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms, and protector of the realm”

“All hail the Queen!”, chanted Arryk, and the room came alive with their chants

“Hail the Queen!”, it made you shake, grabbing tightly onto the throne

Your grandfather was right, this thing was truly uncomfortable 

“The audiences will begin”, presented Cregan Stark

“Allow me, to be the first!”, Cregan and Reysen shared concerned looks when the first one to step forwards, was, indicated by the embroidery on his clothes, a hightower. 

Your stomach dropped, you suddenly wanted to throw up

“Lyonel Hightower, my Queen”, you raised an eyebrow, not impressed with this pompous individual

“Of course”, you looked at Cregan, annoyed, who had decided to invite this clown into court

“This Kingdom had seen enough war”, he said easily, “let’s stop this animosity, let’s bend broken bonds”

“How do you suggest we do that?”, you asked 

“Through a marriage pact”, he said and you chuckled darkly, “let’s join our houses, my Queen”

“Yes, because that really helped my grandfather, did it not?”, you said with poison in your tongue, “worked so good the last time”, but this clown was clearly not reading the room. The throne room was deadly quiet, but he just kept talking

“I will bring this Kingdom back to glory, with all the power of Oldtown”, he just kept talking, “when I marry you, most gracious Queen, we will have the prowess to…”, he kept going on and on, and you only wanted to throw up, that is until… 

You saw her

Right then, hidden amongst other lords and ladies

Her hair was now tainted with gray, his face cut by age and stress, but she was there… dressed in light blue

Alicent hightower

When she met your eyes you saw her flinch, because they reflected what you felt about her…. utter and pure hate.

“...My aunt”, that is when your attention was returned, “the most gracious Dowager Queen is to be placed back in the citadel…”

“The only place she should be placed is deep in the black cells”, you barely whispered, but that sound alone made the entire court, even the pompous bastard, shut up

“My Queen…”, muttered Alicent, taking a step forwards, and everyone remained quiet

“What do you want?”, you asked, visibly shaking with rage

“I’m here to beseech you, to ask you to give me permission to be sent to Old Town…”

“Why?”, you cut her, “so you can plot on how to take the crown from my family again?”

“No…”, she said, shaking a smile, “I only wish to live the remains of my life in peace”, you scoffed

“My Queen, when we marry, our family…”

“I’d rather die alone than marry a HIghtower”, you said loudly, and you heard gasps and snickers alike, “you don’t understand what is going on, so let me enlighten you, you will surrender your entire treasury to the crown”, you said firmly, and the room was silent again as the color dropped from Lyonel’s face, “ten million golden dragons?”, you said

“But my Queen”

“The hightowers are enemies of the crown as it stands right now”, you said, “and the price to be considered members of the Kingdoms again is that one”

“But…”

“You have two children, they will be my cupbearers, squires of court, here, in the Red Keep”, you muttered, and he nodded rapidly, “fail to meet my expectation, fail to jump when I say so, and I’ll make sure that I truly bring back this kingdoms to the glory they deserve because I will burn your High Tower and the Citadel to the ground, the last dragon is mine to command, remember that, a dragon is worth more than gold, and more than a thousand armies…”, the man shakily dropped to the ground on one knee

“Yes my Queen”

“… and you…”, you turned your rage to Alicent now

Cregan watched you from the corner of his eye, fearing the worst, he had advice you to leave her be, chained, but alive, but he was not going to refute you now, in front of the entire court, if you commanded your guard to slay the old Queen, the order had to be carried out, there was no other choice 

You only grabbed onto the throne tightly, trying to reign in your emotions,

“How dare you?”, you asked finally, the eyes of the old Queen snapped open, “I wanted to have you burn with the rest of the traitors, because you were the true orchestrator of the death of my entire family”, you accused, “YOU!”, you said, standing up, “you usurped my mother and threw the entire Kingdom into chaos, but I, decided to spare you, because of my hand’s advice, to ignore you, let you live the rest of your withered life in peace, yet you have the audacity of coming here and demand things of me”, you said fiercely

“No… I didn’t demand I… It wasn’t me!”, she ran over her own words, nervous

“Lord Hightower”, you called, now turning your attention to the old shivering men in front of you, “thanks to the audacity of your aunt, you will pay for her, five hundred thousand gold dragons, or else”, he opened his eyes widely, but lowered his head

“Yes my queen”

“And you, Alicent, it’s clear that we have been very indulgent, you are from now on forbidden to receive any visitors, and you better spend the rest of your miserable life avoiding me, or else I’ll have your head, because I’m sick of looking at it, I see it every night in my worst and darkest nightmares already”

“Y-your grace”, she trembled

“And everytime you see Lord Stark, you better fall to your knees and kiss the floor where he is about to walk, it is because of him you still draw breath, instead of my parents, my brothers, and your children”, you said with disdain

That is what it took for her to break in sobs, one hand trying to drown them, and the other clutching her chest

With only one look and gesture of hand of Lord Stark, two of your three Queensguards grabbed Alicent gently and removed her from the throne room

You took a long breath as Lyonel and all traces of the color green disappeared from the room. ou closed your eyes for a second, took one, two, three long breaths, and you opened them again, you saw your smile council, Cregan nodded at you, giving you his approval 

“So, who is next?”, you asked out loud, and the entire court seemed to take a step back. Except from one, old Lord, who stepped forwards, helped by a cane and the help of a royal guard

“Lord Bewford, of House Blount your grace”, the man introduced himself and you smiled softly, nodding at him and signaling to him to present his troubles, “I gave 500 hundred men to the cause of the righteous Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, is not much, but in that army where my two sons, they are both gone now”, he murmured, “Winter is coming, I need strong young men to help in the fields and around my household”, he said shakily. You nodded

“I will never forget what you sacrifice for our cause, good Lord”, you said, “I will cut off taxes for the coming season, and furthermore…”, the maester gave you a piece of paper, “I have news of the local orphanage, where girls and boys are in need of roof and food, I bet that with willingness, they can help you in exchange for a home”, you said softly, and the old man’s face lit up

“Thank you, your grace!”, he said, trying to kneel 

Cregan smiled widely, and the rest of the Lords and Ladies took that step forwards raising their hands wanting to be greeted by you. 

It was going to be a long day

But you held your ground with patience and grace, that Cregan thought you must have inherited from your grandparents.

Your rage dwindled as your tiredness grew, but the court did not witness more outbursts, your distaste and even hate for the Hightowers and exclusively to them, make the rest of the royal houses relax and bend the knee more easily, picking sides between the Targaryen Queen and the most hated house in the Kingdoms.

Cregan thought you were going to be met with more resistance, but he was surprised to see the ease with which the Lords and Ladies of the house directed themselves at you. He was amazed by how many marriage proposals you received, to which you made deaf ears to, but they were still there. He had a young page to write down the names, for him to study for future prospects. 

And when you offered Lord Redwyne to be your master of ships and he agreed with a laugh in front of the entire court, that sealed the day. 

The Keep was boasting with life, just as he wanted it to be, now that he didn’t met with incredible support of the houses, he had to separate the true loyal, with the ass licking ones.

He stopped the audiences at four hours after noon, to give you rest, and there were more things he needed to do. 

He had to speak to you about which houses you would like to invite to spend the season at court, to make your court.

He was met in the hallways by Arryk

“Have you done it?”, he asked, “have you looked for potential brothers at arms?”

“Oh yeah, my Lord, but we have a small, or rather… a large problem…” 

“What now?”, they both reached the second story balcony to the courtyard, and Cregan stopped in his tracks when he looked down and the courtyard was filled to the last inch with hundreds of men from all ages and sizes, soldiers, knights

“They all want to do the trials to belong to the new Queensguard”, said Arryk with a wide smile, and Cregan laughed

Of course everyone wanted to serve the young new Queen

“Alright, let’s start by sorting them by Kingdom, and if they have real battle experience”, Cregan commanded, with a smile, “have some fun”

“Yes my Lord”, said Arryk, almost laughing

But then, your new appointed small council called to Cregan Stark to an important meeting

When Cregan entered the small council room he felt the uneasiness, the nervousness of all the important men gathered there, and as he walked to the head of the table, all looks were on him

“Gentlemen”, he greeted, if there was something wrong, he wish they would tell him, “Please, let’s not waste any more time, tell me why we are here, why we are meeting without our Queen”, he said hastily, gods, he hated politics

“My Lord Hand”

“Why are we meeting without the Queen?”, he asked severely

“She is our Queen, yes, but she is young, and clearly unstable. The Hightowers decided to take it, yes, but what when they don’t?”, muttered Lord Redwyne 

“So…?”, he asked, “she is right, they are a haunted house, that brought down the House of the Dragon with their schemes, and their ambition”, he said angrily

“Lord Hightower has a point, the Queen will need a husband, we need security of the Line, and also… someone who will… help her…”, muttered Tyland

“Well, I came up with a list, and we present it to her…”, muttered Cregan

“It has to be you Lord Stark”, said the maester, that did took him by surprise

“No…”, he said

“You signed an alliance”, remembered Lord Lannister

“When I signed it, the Queen was still alive, Young Jacaerys, the heir to the Iron Throne was still alive…”, he said gently, “I was supposed to be married to a princess with five brothers, who was supposed to become the Lady of Winterfell, I was not supposed to become King consort of the Seven Kingdoms”, he said severely 

“It has to be you, Lord Stark!”, said Redwyne again

“How about you?”, he asked, looking at his friend, Celtigar, who had remained quiet, “I have a five year old son!”, he said, “alone in Winterfell, with no mother to care for him, I have to go back to him, I can’t abandon him”

“You can come and go as you please, your wife will have a dragon!”, said the Maester

“it can’t be me”, he repeated

“You are the most loyal and trusting, the one everyone will trust as a King consort”, fought Tyland

This is not what he wanted

He had come here because he had promised the Queen, because he wanted to bring justice, and even perhaps vengeance to the realm

But he had signed the pact of ice and fire…

“The North remembers my Lord, your name, is in that treaty”, said the maester, “I saw you sign it”

This is not what he sign up for

I see you very quiet my Lord Celtigar...

Ok so... this was another chapter of them being... accustomed to their roles... next one we will see more of reader's and Cregan's relationship and we will be more personal... we will also see Aegon again, poor thing... again... sorry for the delay

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