#misguidedcats

You didn't know this version of Daryl, you were trying hard to learn it, but… it was difficult, he was turning a bit unpredictable.

After that first day, he left you in the room and went to get food, and came back just as it was getting dark, he didn’t say much, and you didn’t push him, you just wanted to know what was on his mind, what had happened in those hours in which they took him back and then they took you the very next day.

But no luck

Did he resent you? Were you his liability? Did he agree to turn into one of Negan’s soldiers because of you? to protect you? that very thought made your chest squeeze in guilt, he was this wild person, so beautiful and free, and you had helped to put a chain around his neck, you were keeping him locked 

You remembered what he told you that night, at the welcome to Alexandria party

That he was an outdoor cat, a wild cat

And now… not anymore, that had put a collar around his neck.

You felt guilty, especially since he made no attempt to strike a conversation with you for the rest of the day -which wasn’t much, as it was getting dark-.

He didn’t miss the opportunity to fuck you then too, this time after he got rid of all his clothes, and took you softly against the matress 

The very next morning you woke up as he was getting ready to leave the room, putting on his vest

“What is going on?”, you asked him 

“I’m needed for somethin, stay here ‘right?”, and he left after giving you a quick peck on the lips.

You did as you were told and stayed put inside that room, he went out to get food and came back promptly,just to leave you again.

You got dressed and put some order around, Negan had given you the courtesy of grabbing some things before he took you, so you put on some jeans and a shirt, and just, you hang around, you read a book, you searched around the entire room, you found everything you could need in a small apartment, which was so weird and foreign. 

And then… Darylr returned at nightfall. 

“Hey! what happened?”, he didn’t say a thing, he threw himself over you and kissed you hungrily. 

Then he fucked you, without even saying a word, and its not like you dind’t want him back, you did, you desired him as much as he did you and you felt guilty for putting him in this situation, so you dind’t complain, you didn’t even ask him to ‘take precaution’ either, and you also, didn’t care. 

When you looked back you’d think you were an idiot, but when Daryl was over you, touching everywhere and kissing all he could reach, you didn’t even thought about it. 

He would bring you food, and after every meal, he would take you, and then he went off to do Negan knows what, and then he came back at sundown, and then the next morning he repeated all again

It went on for five days.

You never left the room, you had a bathroom in there, so you didn’t need to, you sometimes would open the door and look up and down the corridor, but it only gave you cruel reminders of your time here as a prisoner.

Well, your first time as a prisoner.

So you really appreciated Daryl’s hyperactive sex drive, because if he weren’t there to put your mind off of things, you’d be having a really, really hard time.

Sometimes when you woke up in the middle of the night you saw the wall in such similar colors as the one they kept you in you jumped on the bed, Daryl grabbed you, hugged you tightly half asleep and normally you would go back to sleep in his arms, knowing you were… safer… than that time.

But then he would leave you alone all day to dwell on negative thoughts, and the fact you haven't seen sunlight in a week was really starting to take a toll on you.

You were reading “the art of war”, on the leather couch when you heard a knock on the door and you decided the smartest thing to do was answer, and that’s what you did. You jumped when you came face to face with Negan, smiling down at you from his height. 

“Well there you are”, he teased, “I just wanted to make sure Daryl hadn't dicked you down to death”, he chuckled at his own joke, perhaps when he saw your mortified face.

“I’m fine”, you assured him

“I can see that”, he said, looking you up and down, “look, now that you are a resident of the Sanctuary…”, he said punctuating every word with dramatic movements of his body, and his hand holding his beloved bat, “I need to put you to work”, he said, “no idle hands around here, well, except for my ladies’... they have their hands full with my big…”

“I get it”, you interrupted him, “so what do I have to do?”, he smiled widely once again.

“I have a spot open…”, he teased you, and you knew this couldn’t mean anything good. He took the liberty of grabbing your hand, and took it near his face, he inspected it, like he was looking for something, and then the other, then he smirked once again, and took you down the corridor

“There is a spot open… as my assistant”, he started

“What do you need an assistant for?”, you asked him

“To sit with me in meetings, pay attention, to remind me of things and how they should run, now that we are… conquering and diversifying I really need some help to keep track of things”

Bullshit, he just wanted to torture you with his presence

“So… did he ask you yet?”, you looked at Negan with clear confusion on your face

“What?”, you asked him, he chuckled

“Oh well, you had been locked up in that room for so long… that I just thought he did, so he chickened out, uh? So I don’t get to call you Mrs Dixon yet?”, he kept teasing

“I’m not sure what you mean”, you said quietly, he just looked at you, but didn’t say anything else, even the smile wiped from his face. 

You kept walking through the labyrinthine hallways 

“Where is Daryl?”, you asked him, he looked at you from the corner of his eye, his smirk noticeable 

“Send him to do a couple of errands for me”, he said, “don’t worry, just guys”

“Do you have him… pressuring people?”, you asked then, then he stopped right in front of you making you crash into him

“Do you want me to?”, he asked, you shook your head.

“No”

“I meant it when I said I want him as one of my top guys, I just want to make sure he knows how the food chain works”. He said, and this time, it felt weird, like you were truly in. You arrived at the already known to you meeting room, and when he entered, everyone was already there.

They got quiet as soon as you entered, but you didn’t miss the angry look Simon gave you when he recognized you

“What is she doing here?”, he asked angrily, making you smile

“Careful with her Simon, she might look all pretty, perky and preppy, but she will off you in the first opportunity she’s got”, Ngean teased, “of course you already know that”

He made you sit at his left, while Simon was right in front of you, on his right

“That spot has been open for a while”, he said, “my left hand girl”, he winked at you and then he got comfortable. “Bad you are not wearing that little number I gifted you, I guess you are saving it for your husb… well… for Dixon”, he kept teasing you about something you didn’t even know what it was. You looked around and they were all waiting patiently for him. Even Dwight was there.

“Anyhoops… talk to me”, he demanded. But then he leaned over the table to you, “these here, are my lieutenants”, he said, “each of them manage an outpost, that’s Gavin, that’s Regina, and well, you know Simon”, and there were also more people, like Gary, Diwght… Arat… ugh. But Laura shined for her absence.

“I don’t think sharing this type of information with her its a good idea”, said Simon, his eyes never drifting from your form

“Well, Simon, she is one of us now”, Negan said with a wide smile

“Is she?”, asked Simon

“Alexandria is like… one of our outposts now”, he said, “they not only work for us, they work with us”, he said, raising from his seat, he swung Lucille making everyone flinch, “do you understand that SImon?”, he asked, he barely nodded, “I will have Laura dealing with them, she lived among them, she knows how they operate”

“I think it might be better to use our old methods to deal with them”, he said facking a creepy ass smile, that’s it.

“(y/n), would you repeat to Simon here what you said to me that beautiful night we spent together?”, he asked, winking at you, you frowned, and then due to context arrived in the memory pretty quickly

“We will break before we bend”, you said then, but it sounded more like a question

“Right!”, he said, pointing at you, “they will not bend”

“Then they’ll break”, he said, “didn’t you say you wanted to move to the suburbs?”, you weren’t gonna lie, especially to yourself but, that terrified you, that very phrase, he was Negan’s right hand and he was a sadistic prick, you looked towards Negan and he was looking right at you.

“I’m start to think that our approach to communities is failing”, muttered Negan, “we lost the river people, we lost that big community who was holding up in that highschool…”, he said, “and the ones at the library…”, he said

“So?”, he asked, and fear settled more into your bones, too many communities, and what did he mean by ‘lost’ anyways?

“I will not lose another one”, he said, “so you keep your greasy hands off of it, and I will be keeping a very close eye on you in regards to the Hilltop”, he said.

Was he ‘spanking’ Simon in front of the lot of you? That could be catastrophic because the man did not seem pleased.

The reunion kept going on, with the things they had taken from the communities and other juicy details that you were taking mental notes of. 

Every

Single

Thing

Relevant people to their organization, mentions of places, rendezvous points, they talked about it like you weren’t even here, they had four outposts including The Sanctuary, they had closed one recently, that was interesting.

Of course the real important stuff like where they kept the guns was out of bounds, because they already knew that, so… it's not like you knew where the outposts were… yet…

You decided then and there, that you had to play this game, and you had to win.

Negan was being so open to you because of two possible reasons, 1. He truly believed you could be an asset and he really wanted to make an effort to create something out of everything with all the communities, or 2. He didn’t believe in you at all and he only wanted to torture you, convinced that you were never going to be able to scape or do something important with the information he was feeding you with.

Both scenarios worked great with you, because in the first one, he made things easier for your community in exchange for safety from the undead, and in the second he underestimated you good enough so you could destroy this thing from the inside.

People tend to underestimate you.

Negan left you alone to go back to your room, and you did so without any delays.

It had been a week in which they could have been torturing your family back in Alexandria, or Sasha or Rosito which you haven't seen yet. You couldn’t believe you let yourself be for a whole week! Next time you’d see Negan you were going to ask him to let you see them, as an act of good faith.

You got to the empty room, and Daryl walked in just a couple of hours after. You barely said hello to him, and he threw himself on top of you and kissed you hungrily.

After what happened today, you wanted to talk to him, to tell him what you’d heard, what you knew now, but he wouldn’t let you get a word in.

“Hey!”, you called, grabbing onto his shoulders, stopping him, “can you talk to me at least?”, you asked him

“I need ya”, he said, trying to sunk his lips onto your neck again

“Daryl… please”, you said, he grabbed you by your thighs and lifted you until you were seating in the countertop, he placed himself between your legs, as he trapped your mouth on his, he smelled of cigarettes and whiskey, which really called your attention. He had been drinking, “STOP!”, you said more clearly, pushing into his chest. 

And he did, immediately, searching your eyes, and he found anger

“What the hell Daryl?”, you asked him, “what is going on?”

“I wanna be with ma woman”, he said like it was the most obvious thing

“You barely talk to me”, you chided, “we are in the freaking sanctuary, where we were both tortured and kept against our will, we are surrounded by enemies, you are gone all day doing Negan knows what, and you won’t talk to me!”, you said angrily, he never stopped looking into your eyes, “what is going on?”, you demanded an answer

But he didn’t say anything

“What is he making you do?”, you asked him, and you feared the worst, was he making him torture people? kill them? pressure the Hilltop?

“Just groundwork, deviate walkers, yesterday I had to chase down a guy”, he said simply

“Do you hate me?”, you asked him then

“Aint’ nothin you could do to make me hate ya”, he said in a whisper

“I think you are angry, not directly at me, but I think you resent me, if I weren’t in the picture, you would have never said his name”, you said, “you would have fought him”

“That ain't true”, he said

“But it is”, you argued. “Why won’t you talk to me?”, you asked him, “we are in this together, and the only thing you do is fuck me, without even… taking any precautions”, you said, “what if you get me pregnant Daryl?”

“Maybe that way you’ll be safe”, he said, you stopped all movement as all the air left your lungs as if you had been punched in the gut

“What?”, you asked, trembling, not being able to believe what you were hearing. “You want to knock me up?”, you asked him

“That ain’t why I’m doing it”, he mumbled, he nuzzled the side of your neck with his nose, “I want ya, I wanna feel ya”, an unsettling feeling got hold of your chest.

“Why does Negan keep mocking me about you chicken out… about not being able to call me Mrs Dixon?”

“Why ya’ talkin’ to him?”, he asked angrily, releasing your neck

“I have to be his assistant”, you said, “no idle hands in the sanctuary, he said”

“He is messin’ with me”

“He is messing with all of us”, you just stayed like that, he in between your legs, you gaze upon one another, “please talk to me”

“He ain’t gonna do to us what he did to Dwight n’ Sherry”, he said, “yer mine”, he said, kissing the side of your neck, right on the spot where he knew it made you rolled your eyes.

“Daryl”, you said, squeezing his shoulders until he looked you in the eyes again, “what if you knocked me up or something?”, you asked him. He looked back at you, now you saw the concern in his eyes

“We’ll send you back to Alexandria”, he said, in a whisper, “M’ gonna keep ya safe”, he promised, “whatever happens”

“But Daryl…”, you said, frustrated, he wasn’t talking to you, he wasn’t seeing reason, he wasn’t answering your questions. He sighed, releasing you, like you just had given him the bluest of balls you could have.

“I got somethin’ for ya”, he said, turning back to you, his face had softened, he grabbed something from the inside of his pocket, and you gasped when you saw a small velvety box.

“Daryl…”, you whispered, opening your eyes widely

“I got this whole thin’ planned an’ well…”, he seemed incredibly nervous. He was going to propose until that bastard took you, interrupted your life, conquered your home

You looked at him, still not knowing what to say, he found your eyes and then he looked down at the box, he opened for you, revealing what in plain sight looked like a nut, that would belong with a bolt, like it was a piece of his motorcycle, but edited to be thinner, he took it out of the box and offered to you, you saw, with amazement, that the inside was decorated with diamond, something you could only see if you were holding it like you were right now.

“I wanted to ask ya’, if…”, he stopped, the ring in between the both of you, “ya mean the world ta me”, he said then, “I wanna call you my wife”, you looked at him, your eyes shining with unshed happy tears. 

“Really? are you sure?”, you asked him

“Since we went ta DC”, he said, and you smiled widely.

“I’d love to call you my husband”, you said with a soft smile, “but that’s all you want?”, you asked him, “call me your wife?”, you asked softly. He looked flustered.

“No… notjustthat”, he mumbled, almost unintelligible

“What else?”, you teased him. you knew that it wasn’t realistic to get married, for a ceremony or whatever, this was it, from this day forward, you were going to be Daryl Dixon’s wife. 

“I wanna be with ya, to live our lives together, to plan our future… we’ll live together’ right? in that cabin?”, he asked, looking at you with those beautiful eyes filled with love, you smiled softly at him

“Do you want to… have a family with me?”, you asked him hopefully

“Ya mean, have a’couple o’kids?”, he asked, kind of scared, you just looked back at him expectantly, “I mean…”, he got even more nervous, “never thought I’d be a daddy”, he said then.

“Me neither”, you said, “but, as things are going… someday maybe… I mean it could happen…”

“If it does, yer the one I’d have pups with”, he whispered, you smiled widely.

“I wouldn’t choose anybody else either”, you offered back. “But I still have some other requests”, he grunted with a smirk on his face, placing his hands on your hips. “I’d like to be the one you talk to, about your dreams and fears, about what you want to do or what bothers you”

“Done”, he said simply, you smiled at him, your eyes filled with happy tears.

“You are it for me Daryl”, you said with a soft smile, “I’m like a cool wolf, or an eagle, I mate for life”, you warned, he smiled right at you back.

“You are the only one”, he whispered back, he leaned in and kissed you then, softly, gently, with all the love he had for you, and you answered in kind, when you parted, you offered  him your hand, he grabbed it softly in his and slided the ring on your ring finger, it was a perfect fit, “Uuhh, thank you, husband”, you teased, he smiled at you

“Wifey”, he mumbled, you kissed him hungrily, hugging him tightly. You grabbed his soft locks at the back of his neck, as you knew he adored, as he grunted softly against your lips. You ended the kiss with a last peck to his lips

“I know you are… scared, and worried”, you said, “and you want to protect me, but, we can do this together”, you said, caressing his cheeks with your hands, “I need you to trust me”, you said, “I don’t break easy”

“I know”, he mumbled.

“Together… we can work this out”, you said, “Its a good thing we are here”, you said with a soft smile. “We are the foxes in the hen house, we can try to fix the situation from the inside…”

“How?”, he asked

“Slowly… carefully, but definitely”, you assured him, you felt his even breath and you knew now what you had to do. 

Not very romantic, but this was Negan's fault hehe

It as some sort of ritual they put him through

Daryl was never going to forget the face Negan made, the sick smile he gave him.

“That’s my soldier”, he purred. He gave Dwight a signal and he opened the door, “I told you I was going to get you a new pair of shoes, right?”, he teased, Laura entered the room, Fat Joey and a couple of others entered in tow

“Tell Frankie I want her to… attend… Daryl boy here, as his new rank implies”, Laura just smirked at him and nodded, “and tell Tanya to pull something together for him, and to Sherry”, Negan said this staring directly at Dwight, “ell, just to make him feel more comfortable”, he demanded. “Follow her, would ya?”, said Negan, Daryl looked at him one last time and decided to do it.

There was something different about Daryl now, despite the bruises of the brutal beating they gave him a couple of hours ago, he stood tall this time, his step was more sure, and he had a determined look in his eyes

A look Negan had seen in each of his men, his saviors

He smirked as he saw Daryl walk away from him

The first stop was another room, but this one seemed to be some sort of closet, where piles and piles of clothes were laid, hangers filled with pants and others with henleys, shirts, you name it. For every size and gender

“Pick some clothes savior”, Daryl actually flinched when he heard Laura call him that, but he needed to pick his battles and if it was true that Negan was going to grab you, he needed to get dressed, you couldn’t see him like that, not again.

He grabbed some jeans, a dark blue henley. and underwear, socks and a boxer. and a tank top to wear underneath. But then he remembered something.  

“Yeh, give me my vest back”, he demanded, reaching with his hand towards Dwight, who was standing by the door, he smirked as he removed his vest slowly.

“Have it cleaned”, he said to Fat Joey, which he nodded quickly and ran to accomplish his command.

“My bike too”, he said then

“It’s yours, I told you, didn’t I?”, he said, raising his hands in the air. Daryl was learning where he fit in the food chain right now, he turned and grabbed a pair of biker boots on his size, and nodded, grabbing onto the clothes against his chest.

“I’m moving people, just need two vehicles, we are grabbing a very special guest, meet me at the gate in five”, Negan’s voice boomed through the walkie talkie

Then the squadron took him to a big bathroom, in one of the superior levels.

“Please, rinse thoroughly”, mocked Laura as he let him inside. 

It was a big bathroom, all white tiles, and a big spacious shower.

Only with you in his mind he regulated the water, not really waiting until he peeled the disgusting suit out of his body, and got in. The water on his tired body felt heavenly, and merely second he looked down and saw all the dirt and grime on the floor of the shower.

He looked around and he saw… anything he could need was in there. shampoo, conditioner, soap, liquid soap, in bar, in all smells and colors, He grabbed a loofah? its that what was it called? and the most manly-smelling soap he could find and he rubbed himself raw with it. Until his skin was red.

He tried to push aside all of his dark thoughts, of all the stuff they pulled on him since they took him. How they left him naked, how they didn’t let him sleep, how they… beat him up.

He had to put it aside… for now… now he got you involved in this, so, now, he was going to have to pull in twice the work, because of any mistake, and you were the one who was going to pay for it. By now he had a pretty good guess of what Negan’s modus operandi was.

He took care of himself like he had never done before.

He shampooed his hair, he even got a bit of conditioner in there, he washed his face thoroughly, he got soap in every nook and cranny of his own body, and made sure to rinse himself too. If he was going to play at being a soldier, he needed to look like one.

There were towels waiting for him, and as he looked around the all white room he thought himself to be in some irreal situation, he couldn’t believe what was going on. 

He dried himself pretty quickly, and got dressed.

How long has it been since he had clean clothes?

He didn’t take the one the Alexandriands offered him when he got there, down the line he might grab something on that mission in DC, but it had been a while.

He got dressed pretty quickly, the clothes fit him perfectly, and then he opened the door.

“Oh my!”, mocked Laura, “who would have thought that under all that… a decent man was hiding, (y/n) is a lucky girl”, Laura eyed him up and down with a smirk on her face, Daryl only growled something incoherent.

“Next stop, follow me”, she said. 

She led them to the top levels of the factory. He knew this way, he knew where they were taking him. his grim commitive left him in the lunge of all of Negan’s wives

Sherry was there to receive him.

“You said it”, she wasn’t asking, she was accusing him, her face showing how conflicted she was. Sherry then looked behind Daryl, at Dwight

“We’ll take it from here”, she said, and in front of Laura’s amused glance, she closed the double door on their faces.

“He… threatened me with her”, he said shortly, she looked back at him, with sadness in her big brown eyes and nodded

“He tends to do that”, she said, “is she going to be… one of his wives?”, Daryl shook his head

“Nah”, he looked around and he saw all these beautiful women looking back at him with curiosity in their eyes

“No sex”, Sherry warned, and he looked back at her like she just slapped him

“I dun’…”, he denied with heated cheeks, “dun want nothin”

“We are supposed to… take care of him”, contradicted Frankie

“Not in that way”. Daryl didn’t want anything to do with these women, but they grabbed him and made him sit on a comfortable sofa. Frankie went to stand behind him, and started rubbing his shoulders, massaging his back. He flinched at her touch, he didn’t want to be touched by anybody by you, but then he decided to let her touch him, if she didn’t do her job, Negan could punish her. 

Sherry came towards him and sat in front of him

“You know how he is now”, she said, “so will have to do as he says… or else”

“He will use ‘er to make me”, he said shortly

“I’m not gonna lie, I don’t get why he let you keep… being married to her”

“We ain’t married”, he said. 

“Negan wants to play with you”, she said shortly. He only looked back at her, frowning, he kind of knew that, but still…

He didn’t want to play along, he didn’t, but when Tanya lifted a ridiculous silver top, revealing what she as a chef had prepared for him, he dove right in, not even bothering to use utensils. It was some sort of pasta with a creamy sauce. It seemed like Negan was even taunting him with you, your favorite dish. He just figured out how hungry he was, after days of being fed with nothing but dog-food sandwiches.

He felt watched, all the women on the lounge were staring at him, but he didn’t care, he drank all the beer they offered him and ate the whole thing. Licking his fingers right after.

Sherry brought him a scotch to wash it all down

“Does he do this often?”, he asked her, in a way only she could hear, “offer the lot of you like this?”

“Never”, she said, “I mean sometimes, but he is always in the room with us”, he hummed, “he doesn’t let other men touch us”

“He went to get her, didn’t he?”, she asked him

“Yeah”, she admitted. 

Laura came back to the lounge an hour later, when she made sure he had been “treated” good enough. With a nod towards Sherry, he left the room with an uneasy feeling, a shiver down his spine. 

“You are one of us now Dixon”, she said, as they got to the main floor of the factory, “which means you are on top of the food chain, you answer only to Negan”, she said looking at him, he wants you here, in the Sanctuary”

“Right”, he mumbled, as he saw the workers, a dread settled in his gut, as he saw all the people there

“They work for points, they work for us”, she said, “you want something, you write your name, you get it, got it?”, she asked, “we give them safety, they feed us”

This was more than just that, Daryl thought, this was worse than the old world order. As he saw all these people down there, and him looking at them from above.

And then he saw him, at the other side of the floor.

Negan was looking straight at him and smiling. He was flanked by Dwight and Fat Joey, Laura took him straight for him.

“There you are!”, Negan greeted, with that mocking smile on his face, “Looking sharp Daryl”, he said, “can’t wait to let you loose on my communities”, he said with a smile. And Daryl didn’t like that, not at all, and Negan could see it in his face, “but first…”, he said, pointing at him with his leather gloved hand. “...I want you to see how good I treat my men”, he started walking, and Dwight signaled him to follow suit, the four of them did.

The walk was painfully slow and long, as everyone kneeled at the sight of their leader and talked praises to him, and Negan, being the theatrical man he was, thanked and greeted each and every one of them.

Then, they stopped in front of the door that they led him that morning. 

Dwight gave him his vest back, that he put on immediately, and offered his clothes that where his before they took him, he only retrieved the red cloth he had always on the back of his pants and threw the rest on the floor, “this too”, he said, passing him his crossbow. Daryl took it without a second thought, and then Dwight passed him the little box he had hidden on his vest, the one he let Negan dissacrate.

“Now Daryl, let me tell you, I don’t like it when my saviors live in sin with their ladies, so… make an honest woman out of her would you?”, he mocked. Daryl just looked at him as he pocketed the ring on his vest again. “quickly… if I were you”, now they were back in the front of the door Negan took him in the morning

“Welcome to the rest of your life, soldier”, said Negan, as Dwight opened the door to the room.

Negan padded him on the back before he pushed him in.

There you were, sitting on the bed. Daryl’s breath got caught in his throat when he saw you, “all dolled up” for him, you were wearing a dark green tight dress that hugged your curves and some high heels 

“There you go tiger”, Negan teased, “All pretty for her man!”, he laughed, he winked at you and then they closed the door to leave the two of you alone.

You stumbled when you tried to stand up weaning those ridiculous shoes, but it didn’t matter because Daryl was right there to catch you and hugged you tightly in his arms. The hug didn’t last long, he searched your face to eat your mouth hungrily, he kissed you roughly, like he was claiming you, you tried to keep up, caressing the back of his head.

He finally released you, leaving you breathless 

“You were crying”, he said softly, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs, you tried to cover it up but you guessed you failed, as Daryl knew you too well.

“I’m sorry, I was scared”, you admitted, “they took me, I didn’t know what was going to happen”, you whispered, “Negan tends to be… unpredictable, you never know what he is going to do with you”, you looked at him wondering where the other shoe was going to drop, Negan didn’t specify much 

“Ya safe ‘ere”, he whispered, “yer with me”

“I know”, you assured him, and when you looked at his face, and around, and the way Negan spoke to him… you could only assume

“Did you…?”

“I’m one of his now”, he said, caressing your face with his thumbs

“I’m sorry”, you offered, he looked at you with shiny eyes, he looked like beaten puppy, “because of me you had to say his name, join this insanity”, you whined, he didn’t say anything, he walked towards you and grabbed you, pulling you to your feet gently, and then he grabbed your face and kissed you, fiercely, needily 

“You got nothin’ to be sorry fer”, he mumbled. And then he kissed you again, “what the hell ya wearin?”, he asked, releasing you and looking you up and down

“Negan has a very twisted sense of humor”, you mumbled, looking up at him, at his beautiful eyes, “he said that if I wanted to stay here with you, I couldn’t just be dressing like…”, he had also said that now you were the wife of one of his soldiers you needed to ‘take care of him properly’, and that included looking ‘fine’ but you didn’t want to tell him that.

“Ya’ aint in an auto shop”, he said for you, you smiled, “I’ll get ya out of it”, he promised, kissing you again, his big hands were on you in a second, grabbing you by your hips and then caressing everything in their path towards the back of your dress. Oh, he wanted to go all the way, which surprised you a bit.

“Wait”, you called, when he opened the zipper, he stopped immediately, searching your eyes

“Wanna stop?”, he asked

“No, it’s just… right now?”, you asked him, “here?”, you loved having sex with Daryl, but you had this notion that having sex in a ‘safe’ environment, where you both were comfortable, safe and in controlled privacy was the one condition that was not negotiable. 

“Yes here”, he said, and kissed you again. You gave yourself directly to him, no more doubts or questions

The cold air hit you as he released you from the dress. He lowered you down onto the bed gently then, with a soft smile on his handsome face. 

Now you were only in your underwear, but he took care of that quickly. Now you were naked, with only your heels on, and he looked down at you with such hunger it made you tremble. He was still fully clothed, but he had no intention to change that as he took himself out of his jeans. 

You whined in need, the image of him stroking himself, kneeling on the bed, looking down at you, it was just too much. You spread your legs for him, and he dove in, kissing you again roughly.

“Christening the bed of our new home already?”, you teased, and he got comfortable between your legs. He teased your entrance with his thick fingers making you whine, before he even tried to.

“Daryl”, you moaned when he pushed in the tip of his cock inside you, “fuck”, you whined.

“Tell me… yer mine”, he demanded, and even though this part of his truly… surprised you, you looked up at him to see longing in those beautiful eyes of his.

“I’m yours”, you assured him, and looking at him more, all cleaned up, made you glad, a huge contrast of what you saw yesterday. And you wondered if this was his way of… healing, of wanting to get better. Of having you, to assure him that it was all over and he was going to be fine.

You let him, as he filled you up completely, making you tremble and moan under him. 

“Daryl, I love you, I’m yours”, you confessed, you surrendered yourself completely to him. 

He fucked you roughly against the mattress, kissing you hungrily, caressing every inch of skin he could get his hands on, he made you finish twice before he found his own release, filling you with his cum and a grunt, as he looked down on you, still, fully clothed, his jeans rough against the skin of the inside of your thighs 

He used his arms at each side of your head to not crush you under his weight, as he tried to recover his breath. 

You tried to caress him, but you only found fabric instead of skin and you did not like that.

“Was I too rough?”, he asked 

“No, I’m fine”, you assured him, caressing his arms, his shoulders, trying to give him comfort. He let himself drop to the bed by your side, and the cold of the room made you tremble. He was quick to notice and grabbed a blanket from the foot of the bed and covered you with it. 

You cuddled against his side, and he surrounded your shoulders with his arm. 

“At least we are here together”, you tried, he hummed, this Daryl, was new to you, you didn't know how to play this game you had been dealt. “When all of this is over”, you said gently, “I think… we should go away”

“What ya’ mean?”, he asked

“We could find a nice cabin… near Alexandria, and we could live there, together, would you like that?”, you asked him, “just us two… in the woods… we could come back to Alexandria whenever we want…to trade, and see our family…”

“I’d like tha”, he said, caressing your back, “just us two”

“You could teach me how to hunt…”, you tried, “I could teach you… something in turn”, you giggled softly.

“I’d like ta teach ya”, he whispered against your temple, kissing it afterwards.

“I love you Daryl”, you whispered, “I’m yours”, saying it right now, ‘sober’, and not in the heat of the moment might be what he needed to hear

“And I love ya”, he assured you back, kissing the top of your head. 

You were shaking, seating in the porsche of Deanna’s house, rubbing your temples, your elbows on your knees

You heard a door behind you and Rick and Michone came out, just a look and you knew what happened

“She’s gone”, he said gently.

Heart attack

After she witnessed her son being brutally murdered Deanna started clutching her chest, it turns out it wasn’t just grief and shock

Many Alexandrians were there, wide eyed and pointing, you saw many tears, she had fought through the night, but you were in the middle of a goddamn apocalypse, you didn’t have much means to reanimate her, despite Denise almost breaking her arms trying to do reanimation for most of the morning

“Meeting in the church in ten minutes”, he dictated 

“Rick!?”, you called, he immediately turned around and turned to you, “where’s everyone?”, you asked him

“Maggie, Glenn and Beth stayed at the Hilltop, in hopes of convincing Gregory to fight with us”, he said softly, “Carol and Morgan stayed at this placed called the Kingdom”, he muttered, “We fought some people on the way there, Carol was injured and she stayed there, for safety”, you barely nodded

“So everyone’s ok?”, you asked him

“They are” , he assured you, he kept looking down at you, “We are going to get him back”, he assured you

“How?”, you asked him, “you know what they did to me, imagine what they are going to do to him… a man… and a wild one at that”, you said. He nodded, and walked away from you without an answer

Daryl

They took him from you and you couldn’t do anything about it

Alexander was MIA

There was no way you could take them

You were screwed

So you dragged your feet all the way to the church, you were… tired, defeated, scared, sad… frightened more than anything and just plain fucked

Daryl…

You needed to go to him, find him, beg Negan or whatever, take him back, but as you were now, you couldn’t even open the gates to let yourself in, you really were just plain tired… destroyed more likely. 

But Daryl

Being at the church, or at Alexandria at all without the archer felt so foreign to you right now, and you couldn’t help but torment yourself with the memories of the last time you saw him, pre-conquering of Alexandria, that he wanted to give you something, that he was going to come back to you.

What could you have possibly done to prevent this? could you have stopped it?

Did fight hard enough for him?

You sat on the first bench, on the same side as always, as you waited for everyone to enter the church. They all looked like they just had been told Santa didn’t exist anymore, that their idyllic lifestyle had been a gift, and that gift just expired

Once you were all inside the church, Rick started

“Deanna is gone, heartattack”, he started strong right off. He waited for the murmurs and gaps to dissipate before he continued, “Now, most of you were out there last night, we need to discuss how to proceed… how things are gonna go from now on”

“What do you mean?”, asked someone

“We work for Negan now”, he said, “he wants half of everything we have, and once a month, he will want a tribute”

“What kind of tribute?”, asked another

“Whatever we can get, and he doesn’t’ like it… he will kill one of our people”, he said

“We can’t live like that!”

“We have to”, he said, “we got off easy, you saw what happened last night! how easily he just went in, how many there are!”, he said, “and they have our people! they have Daryl… he took Rosita and Sasha”

Since the Green/Rhee weren’t here, Negan took exactly the exact people to literally grab you by the metaphorical balls. With Daryl in his power he knew you and Carol were tied, with Rosita, he held Alexander (as new as it was), and Eugene and Abraham, and with Sasha he double tied the third most dangerous person here. And with all three he had Rick and Michonne.

He took a lot of firepower, some of the strongest members of your group.

He took your Daryl. 

“I will find Alexander”, you said out loud, “with him, we can plan something, I know the Sanctuary, we can get them back…”

“You can’t go in wild goose chase”, said Rick

“What? a wild goose chase?”, you asked him, enraged

“We need you here, to join the scavenging team, what you did in DC, we need you to do that again”, he said, “they’ll come back soon, if we have a good tribute to them, something better than we have, they’ll go easy on us…”

“Yeah, Daryl is gone!”, you said, “so is Alexander, AND ROSITA, three important members of my team”, you said then. “And going to get Daryl is not a wild goose chase!”, you said angrily, he sighed loudly

“I know, i didn’t mean it like that”, he said softly, “what I meant is that if we play by Negan’s rules, we might be able to get him back more easily, than if we don’t”, he said, and you nodded, it made sense.

You had talked to him, Negan, he knew, because of what you talked about that night, he believed to treat you more fairly, so you won’t rebel against him, maybe Rick was right, maybe if you find something really good for them, maybe he’ll let Daryl come back to you.

“I’ll go with you”, assured Tara, who, to this moment, you had barely registered, she had been here last night, with Denise. She had been so dedicated to her blooming relationship with her that you had barely seen her these last days. 

“Mee too”, said Abraham

“What about the walkers in the quarry?”, asked another

Good fucking point

Rick sighed again

“We need to find Alexander”, he admitted, defeated. 

You needed coercion to finally get some hours of sleep, and food, and then you were finally allowed to leave Alexandria in the search of Alexander

He had left on foot

You found him on the third day, in the barn where he had left the HUMVEE, you didn’t think of checking that place first, a couple of miles out of Alexandria on a farm. He pulled a gun on you, but that wasn’t surprising. He stopped it as soon as he recognized you

“Are you alright?”, he was a military man, he had been in Afghanistan, he had always got a escape plan, and he had saves supplies and canned goods there, in that barn

“Yeah”

“Negan wants to kill you”, you said

“I’d gather”

“You did well on running, but now, Spencer is dead, Deanna too, heart attack, and we are fucked”, you said, “they took Daryl, and Rosita and Sasha, its a matter of time before they take or kill someone else”, you said confidently, “they want half of everything we manage to make, steal or scavenge”

“What does Rick want to do?”, He asked

“We have to take care of the walkers on the pit”, you said quickly, “it’s just a matter of time before that truck slips and they get free, and the saviors will come back to Alexandria any day now”

Without Rosita and without Alex being safe in Alexandria, you were completely screwed if you wanted to handle the explosions you found. 

You took an Alexandria car back to town with the explosives inside, Alex had given you an instruction to handle them, you were going to blow everyone up, without Rosita. 

You got back to Alexandria at noon, alone, armed to the teeth, but as you signaled the men inside to open the gate, your mouth opened wide when you saw Gary at the gates, opening it for you

Once he did he revealed the trucks inside, you only could fully grasp it, they were here

The saviors were here. 

You barely got inside with car and all when Gary opened the door of the car for you, as two other saviors started registering the car

“Hey little lady”, he greeted

“Traitor”, you greeted back, he only laughed

“Come on, don’t be so hard on me”, he said lightly, his demeanor told you he was no good intentions towards you

“The trunk is filled with explosives”, said one, alarmed, you weren’t even fazed

“And why’s that?”, he asked you, he took a step forwards, eliminating the space between you, making you take a step back and hit the side of the car

“You know we have a quarry full of walkers a couple of miles west”, you told him, “we need to take care of that”, you said severely

“Where’s Alexander?”, he asked then

“I have been looking for him for three days, couldn’t find him” you said, bored 

“Uh but you found explosives?”, he asked then

“We were keeping the out of the walls, for safety”, you explained quickly

“And what were you gonna do with all this dynamite? uh little lady?”, asked a guy that had an unfortunate looking face, he hadn't heard the conversation between you and Gary

“Shove it up your ass”, you answered bluntly with a cynical smile, “to see if your insides are as thick as your head”, his own wiping off of his face. You had no time nor patience for these clowns. You heard the other saviors laugh 

“What?”, oh he was gonna punch you, but Gary stopped him

“Davey, leave her alone”, he warned, “our boss had been waiting for this one”, he said, Gary singaled you to walk in front of him, as the other saviors took the crates of dynamite

He led you back to the armory, where Rick was looking dreadful as Negan was loading all our guns into a truck

“She’s here”, Gary announced as Negan finally turned to you.

“Hey! you joined the party! find anything…? HOLY SHIT!”, he laughed when he saw all the crates of dynamite, “darling you are a bomb! or a sex bomb?”, he rambled 

“You are killing us if you take our guns”, you told him, “we need to deal with the walkers on the pit”, you said, Rick looked at you with red eyes, like he was afraid or something

“I know darling, and you don’t have to worry about a thing!”, he said loudly.

You looked at the person that was coming out of the armory, and your breath got caught in your throat when you saw Daryl, dressed in a two piece dirty suit, barefoot, sweaty and beaten up

“DARYL!”, you said loudly, ready to go to him, but Negan stepped forwards, making you bump into him, preventing you from doing it

“Nope!”, he said quickly, “he is here as the help, you don’t talk to him, you don’t touch him darling”, you looked at Daryl over his shoulder, he looked back at you with teary eyes for merely seconds to then kept doing what he was doing

“What are you doing to him?”, you asked him, “leave him alone!”, you demanded, looking back at Negan angrily

“Oh darling, Daryl here is just refusing to come to the reality that he cannot get away from me, and neither can you”, he said, “he will soon though, if he knows what’s good for him, so if you want to keep him whole, you won’t talk to him, you won’t touch him, you won’t even talk to him, am I clear?”, you stopped looking at Daryl to look back at Negan, he was smiling at you

You didn’t answer as you searched for the eyes of Rick, who looked like he was embarrassed

“Rick…”, you called

“Please”, your leader begged you back

“DO SOMETHING!”, you screamed, he only shook his head

“Oh darling, see, that’s why I took Daryl and not him, Rick is a little bitch”, said Negan, you looked back at him, “my little bitch”, he said then, “but Daryl there, can be my top dog”, you released a long breath you didn’t know you were holding

“If you kill him…”, you warned

“I’d think very carefully of what your next words are going to be if I were you”, he said severely, not any trace of playfulness out of his face, “I don’t do threats darling”, he said, “you are already getting a nice treatment, me… not killing many of you, taking hostages instead… it's nice treatment, something new I’m trying here, help me prove this method it's going to work”, he ‘invited’, you looked back at Daryl and he was looking back at you with a plead in his eyes

“Fine, Negan”, you said, looking back at him, making him smile again, “I’m sorry, you had make yourself perfectly clear”, he chuckled

“That’s perfect darling, exactly what I like”, he said, “I’m pleased, so pleased, I’m going to take care of the little problem you guys have”, he said simply

“He will let us keep one gun for each person”, said Rick like it was the deal of the century. You smiled at Negan

“Thank you for your kindness”, you said and he laughed

“That’s a good girl”, he said. “now pick yours”, he said

“The RPG”, you said simply, he chuckled

“The mere thought of you holding that thing makes me tingle”, he whispered, leaning into you again, “a hot woman with a powerful weapon”, he said raising his eyebrows teasingly, “but alas, I advise you against it”, you grabbed your gun from your belt, the one you had retrieved from the ground that fatidic night and showed it to him, “fun”, he said only, nodding 

Maybe you should have picked one of the assault rifles with a scope and silencer, but you decided against it, the gun was more malleable, hideable, besides, you had a couple of assault rifles outside of the gates. 

You were made, -as was Rick-, to stand there and watch how they the guns and some supplies from you, but he didn’t got into the houses as he threatened to do

He sent a whole group of saviors to the quarry, to do a full report. 

You appreciated the fact that he commanded Arat to be out of your sight, as he knew you clearly hated her guts and almost chopped her head off with your ax in front of everyone. You tried to be on your best behavior, as they took meds, your guns, leaving your personal effects intact.

And finally, after tortuous hours later, he guided you to the gates, Rick and you following him like two dogs. Daryl following closely behind you, being led by Dwight 

“Now that you know we can… be complaint”, said Rick, looking up at Negan, and then at you

“Yes…?”, he asked

“I wanted to ask you, if we could see Sasha and Rosita”, he said slowly

“That’s not gonna happen today”, he said simply

“What about Daryl? could he stay?”, he asked then

“NOPE!”, he said quickly, “not gonna happen”, Negan then turned to you

“Can I at least talk to him?”, you asked him, he seemed to think about it

“I’ll make you a deal”, he said finally, “everything you want to say and do to Daryl, you have to say it and do it to me first”, he said with a shit eating grin, you looked back at him with a frown

“What?”, you asked him, confused

“Yeah, for example, if you want some… you know… a conjugal visit, you can, well, take me for a spin first”, he winked at you, “they all can wait”, you slapped him, you didn’t even think about it, but it wasn’t a hard slap, more like, a bitch slap

This could cost you and you reacted accordingly, grabbing your own guilty hand, in mere seconds, scared of how he was going to react, but as he turned back his face, he was smiling, deadass smiling with a big grin.

“Oh darling”, he teased, “I’m even more attracted to you right now, if that’s even possible”, you just rolled your eyes. But as your eyes turned to Daryl right behind Negan being grabbed tightly by Dwight, you thought twice about it

You wanted to comfort him. 

Minutes lingered in which Negan kept his eyes and mocking grin towards you, you then took a long sigh and turned to him again

“Does the deal still stand?”, you asked, and then he deadass smiled

“Whatever you want to do to Daryl, you have to do it to me too first”, he said, “that included talking darling”

You were not gonna fuck him, but… you still wanted to comfort Daryl, he needed it, you needed it. You took a big sigh and shook your hands, that were shaking.

Everyone was looking at you, all of them, the saviors were staring with mocking grins on their faces, but you did it anyway. 

He let you wrap your hands around his shoulders, even though he was taller than you. You kissed his cheek quickly

“Anything you wanna say darling?”, he teased loudly

“I love you, and remember we are here waiting for you”, you said bluntly and quickly, whispering in his ear. You released him as he burned you

“SO SWEET!”, he said out loud. He looked back at you and nodded, then looked at Daryl. You turned and run to him, wrapping your arms around him tightly, you kissed his face longingly, he hugged you back tightly

“I love you”, you said

“I love ya too”, he said with a choked voice

“Remember we are here, waiting for you”, you said, he nodded, hiding his face on your neck, you felt him take a deep breath, breathing you in. 

“That’s enough!”, said Negan, Dwight pulled him by the handle his suit had, and Negan grabbed your shoulder and pulled you backwards. “Well, Rick, let’s get our business done, shall we? just you”, he said, “the rest of Alexandria will stay here until your return, we will take care of your walkers, or any walkers to come, and you will work for me”, he said loudly, for everybody to hear

Rick only nodded, and got into a truck behind Negan.

Dwight pushed Daryl until he got him inside a truck, you shared last looks, and they left, again, taking your heart with them. 

The majority of the saviors left

And you felt left out, you wanted to see how they got rid of them, with explosions and guns, but a couple of saviors stayed, guarding the gates.

That guy that was called Davey or whatever kept looking at you, making your skin crawl.

Tara came to you at the gates

“Everything alright?”, you asked her

“They took a lot of meds”, she said sadly, “but at least nobody else died, right?

“Yeah, you could say that”, you muttered sadly, you walked back with her to the house. Your mind racing

When are you going to see Daryl again? What could you possibly do to get him back? this ‘agreement’ didn’t look like it had an end date, a way to negotiate, what could you give to Negan for the release of Daryl? What could you do to get Rosita and Sasha back?

“They beat up Abraham pretty bad”, she told you, “before you came back”

“Is he alright?”, you asked her

“He will be”, she said firmly, so you went with her to visit him.

You spend the afternoon putting order in Alexandria, frequently listening to explosions happening a few miles back, at the pit

At the end of the day, they brought Rick back, with a scared look on his face, and the announcement that the walkers… were all gone, every single one of them.

You didn’t know what to feel.

Although you could say… you felt pretty powerless 

He returned from Alexandria with a knot on his throat, as Dwight pushed him back into his cell, the only thing he could see in the darkness was you, pressed against Negan as you kissed him on the cheek.

The very thought made him shiver. 

With nightmares clouding his mind, he tried to sleep.

He whimpered when he heard that damn song, again, not letting him bat an eye, not get a minute of peace

We are on easy street

And it feels so sweet

The song ended and the door opened, like clockwork, Dwight entered with his dogfood sandwich

“Had you thought about my proposal?”, he asked

“I ain't ‘ever gonna kneel”, he said quickly

“You sure?”, he asked, with a mocking grin on his face, “I found something in your jacket that says otherwise”, Daryl just looked at him, and almost jumped to attack him with Dwight showed him the little box he knew all too well 

“Screw ya”, he mumbled, “don’ touch tha”

“I would say it if I were you”, he said, placing the box back inside his jacket, “you know I did, and you… have so much to lose than I did, you have your girl, and you also have a family, make it easy on yourself, on them…”, Daryl just looked up at him, “you know what he can do to them”, then the blonde let him out and lead him through the hallways

Have you stayed in one of those cells? Have you walked this walk? barefoot like he was now?

You had, he knew you did

How did you manage to stay whole?

He admired you now more than he ever did

This was his third day here, he had been checked by a doctor, he had seen what Sherry was now, and he had been tortured, sleep deprived and fed with dog-food sandwiches. They took him to Alexandria, to further his torment, he hadn't seen Sasha or Rosita, but he guessed they weren’t better off, and he had been there when Abraham demanded to see them, and they beat him up at the very gates. 

“Step in”, Dwight pushed him into a room, a comfortable looking room, where Negan was, waiting for him sitting on a leather couch

“Ahh Jesus, you look awful!”, Negan mocked, “you thirsty?”, Daryl barely nodded, at the prospect of being mocked and not given any, but Negan stood up and offered him a glass of water. But he had trouble drinking it, “Uh I forgot, you got your mouth all fucked up like a babboon’s ass, D get him a straw, what’s wrong with you?”, he asked him.

Dwight ran to fulfill his order, looking for a straw in the made kitchen there until he found one, and gave it to Daryl, who sipped on the water quickly, he was thirsty, very much so 

“See that guy? He hustles. I like hustle”, admired Negan, looking at Dwight come and go, “but believe it or not, things weren't always cool between us. See, D here… he worked for points, him and his super hot wife and her super hot sister. But, see, sis… she needed meds. And that shit is hard to scavenge, so it costs more…”, he started telling the tale, Daryl just stood there, watching him  silently, “...Sis fell behind on points, so I asked her to marry me. Told her I would take care of her in sickness and in health, blah blah blah, because I am a stand-up guy”, his eyes never strayed from Daryl, not even for a second

“She tells me that she's gonna think about it… Next thing you know, I'm dealing with an orange situation. Dwighty-boy here stole all the medication and took off with his super hot wife and my super hot maybe soon-to-be fiancée!”, he makes Lucille tap on the floor, making both men jump a bit,  “So I had to send my guys after him, because I can't let something like that stand. There...are...rules”, he said emphatically, “cost me an arm and a leg going after him… and you know what… Dwighty boy?”, he smiled even more, chuckling “He still got away…”

Daryl knows that part, he was the one that helped him escape 

“But here's the thing. D.. he saw the light. He manned up. He came back. He asked for my forgiveness. I like that. Made me... take notice. But Lucille... Well...you know how she is. She is a stickler for the rules. So, Dwight... he begged me not to kill Sherry, which I thought was kind of cute, so I was just gonna kill him. But then Sherry says that she will marry me if I let Dwight live, which, if you think about it, that's a pretty screwed-up deal, 'cause I was gonna marry her sister until she wound up dead, but... Sherry is super hot”.

Daryl then looked at Dwight, that looked like he was about to start crying any second now

“Anyways, it was a start, but it wasn't enough, so Dwight... he got the iron. And then I married his super hot wife… Ex-wife. And then after all that, he still got on board! And now look at him. Pow! One of my top guys. And we are totally cool”, they were not cool, Daryl thought, Dwight was miserable. “The point being, I think you can be that guy”, he said, placing a hand on his chest, “I think you are ready to be that guy….”, he then turned to the room around. “I believe you can be one of my top guys… and my top guys? well… they live like Kings!”, he said quickly… “you saw, our toys, our women… When you work for me, any of those fine ladies could be yours, of course, as long as they say yes”, he said

“Not interested”, he said grumpily, looking at the floor in front of him. Of course, Negan knew why, but he still wanted to trial him. 

“Oh right”, muttered Negan, “you already got a lady”, he teased, “you might be an asshole, Daryl, but you’ve got a fine taste in women”, he said, “damn that girl is a minx, did you know that when she was here, she beat up several of my men? including Simon, they say she made his head ring like a freaking bong! and Fat Joey there was wearing a footprint on his fat face for like a week!”, he was pleased now, he looked around the room and spread his arms, “you know Daryl? all of this could be yours, you could actually bring in that pretty little number of yours, have her here… did you ask her to be your wife yet?”, Dwight then reached into the pocket of Daryl vest he was wearing

“Hey… don’t!”, Daryl protested, but he gave it to Negan

Dwight grabbed onto Daryl’s vest, Letting Negan take a couple of steps back to see the insides of the box

“Oh… no… this is for her?”, he asked, “so you haven’t asked her yet… she still isn’t your wife”, he said with a wide smile. He then looked at Daryl, with a look that was borderline sadistic, “maybe I will ask her… yeah, that would be fun, having her here…”

“No”, he said quickly

“She will come here”, he promised, “hell, I will go and get her myself right now, the question is… will she come here to keep your bed warm and your cock wet… or my bed warm and my big fat cock wet?”

“Leave ‘er out of this”, he said, his voice was rough, but Negan was thrilled on the begging he saw on his sharp little eyes. 

“She will do it, you know she will”, he whispered in his ear, “I’ll go to Alexandria and I will tell her… that I will chop up pieces of you if she doesn’t agree to marry me, you know she will say yes… she is nice like that”, he muttered

“Don’t”, Negan chuckled when he heard a bit of begging in his voice

“Very easy then, say it… and she will come here as your wife”

Daryl looked at him, with horror in his eyes, he remembered what he saw, with Sherry, a couple of days back, clear as day, that pregnancy test on that medical table. Negan was going to do to the both of you the same he had done with Dwight and Sherry. He was going to make you his wife, and after that he was going to make you have sex with him, he could just easily get you pregnant, he could knock you up on a whim, just to get back at him.

The very thought repulsed him. The thought of you with someone else's child in your belly, you being coerced into having sex with someone you didn’t want to, just to protect him.  

But that’s not all Negan could do to you, he could humiliate you in front of all the saviors, just to prove a point, he could burn you again, torture you like he did him, and you too, make you work for him for points, and you were not gonna bend, not for long, he could end up killing you, and make him watch your walker self strapped to the fence. 

He couldn't bear it, the mere thought made him tremble 

He had to do it, for you, because of you. At the end of the day, he understood Dwight, he did, he had Sherry, and Daryl had you… so he swallowed his own words, he cleared his throat, and he raised his eyes to look Negan on the face.

“I’m Negan”, he muttered. 

PCN: I feel guilty because of how much I enjoyed writting this chapter!

The three of you looked at the scene, standing still, not daring to move

“What do we do?”, you asked them, “what the hell do we do!?”, you started to feel your own heart beating inside your chest, fear making an appearance.

“We get the hell out of here”, said Alexander, “now”

“We can’t leave!”, Rosita fought back, “We can’t leave our home! Carl! and the others!”

“They are gonna be fine, but we, are the capable ones, we are the experienced fighters, the threats”, he said quickly, ”we are the ones that get killed”

“He makes a good point”, you whispered.

“YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, THAT HOUSE, THAT HOUSE AND THAT OTHER HOUSE! MOVE IT PEOPLE”, Negan, on the street, pointed at yours, Rosita’s and the other house that belonged to your group.

“They’re coming for us”, you whispered, you didn’t even have to ask if they were carrying, they took out their guns from their holsters, ready for anything.

“We stand our ground here”, said Alexander

“They already have hostages”, you whispered, “is not very…”, you interrupted yourself when you saw Arat herself, with that shit eating grin leading a group of goons into your house, “OH FUCK NO!”, you said, ready to get out and intercept her.

“No! wait!”, Rosita grabbed you before you could leave, you looked back at her with a plead in your eyes

“That’s the woman who tortured me”, you said seriously, Rosita and Alex exchanged looks

“Let’s fuck her up”, she said then. You just smirked at her.

But the door slamming open downstairs make all of your heads perk up

“We kill them first”, Rosita said, so you all three nodded, in agreements, and put the safety off of your weapons

Alexander blew the head of the first savior that appeared up the stairs. 

Rosita the second

“UH! LOOKS LIKE THE PARTY IS GETTING STARTED!”, Negan shouted, the gunshots resounded all over the house

It was like being in a movie, you had a grave voice as a commentator as you tried to prevent the saviors from coming into your house, you felt like that time at Terminus, it was you or them and right now, you couldn’t afford to be the one to doubt right now, if someone was going to come across you you were likely to kill them, and that was it. They were inside your home, your house, so no, it was non negotiable.

You managed to eliminate those who had entered through the front door, but more were coming, sot he three of you decided to sneak out the back door, and you moved right next door to your house, it was going to be a cold day in hell before you let that woman even touch something that belonged to you or your family. 

With the help of Alex you climbed right onto the small roof over the first floor leading to the windows of the second floor, and you climbed through there

Oh you could already hear her. She was giving commands as she register the first floor. You didn’t even wait for Alex and Rosita, but you heard gunshots outside, so you guessed they were on their own fight, but you had to get to Arat, for yourself, nobody could do that to you and come out winning, no way in hell.

You were in the last step of the stairs, and then you saw her, with her smug face signaling his goons to follow her, then she raised her face and saw you, oh you saw it, even if it lasted a second, you saw the fear. 

”What the fuck did I say?”, you asked, “that I was going to put my fucking axe through your thick skull”, you will come to be scared of this side of you, the one that not only was alright with killing people, but was enjoying to defeat your enemies, “and here you are, trying to get into my fucking house!?”, you threw your ax at her, as she was trying to get to her feet, she stumbled back the last steps and tried to get away from you as the ax got stuck in the wall where her head had been.

You ran down, grabbed your ax that was stuck to the wall and turned to face her. She had a knife in her hand, but that was not going to help her much. She came at you with it, but you blocked her easily, it was like you had been taken by a foreign entity, you didn’t even recognize yourself as you returned every swing.

The door was open and that’s why she flies back and trough it when you kicked her in her stomach 

“Get the hell out of my house!”, you screamed. You grabbed your ax with both hands as you were above her and swung it from above your head down, but as you were ready to end her, you heard like 5 automatics being unlocked. And five saviors were pointing them at you.

Arat stood to her feet, wiping the blood of her mouth

“You think this has a happy ending for you”, she asked you, grabbing your face as another man grabbed your weapons, “it doesn’t, you are not the heroes here”, she said with a mocking grin. 

”Although it's been fun to watch, end this now, or I’ll be forced to start killing your people now”, you heard

They grabbed you, making sure they took away your gun, for like the third time is that you lost one of your guns, and of course they took your ax, throwing it in the grass right there, at least they didn’t took it for themselves, and pulled you towards the round up, making sure to rough you up as much as they could, grabbing you tightly and pushing you around. 

You huffed when they pushed you to your knees, you didn’t want to fight it unnecessarily, but, you couldn’t help but to feel that usual glint of humiliation, to be treated like this, to be this helpless.

Once you were on the ground, Rosita by your side… there was an awful silence, like the calm before the storm. You felt his gaze on you, but you were so shocked, coming to terms with what was happening, that you didn’t even manage to look at him, your eyes were trailed on the street in front of you.

He whistled then, a sound that chilled you to the very bone, you didn’t even know why, he walked slowly, he was taunting you, he walked in front of you, and the around you, making his abt scratch the floor, as he passed behind you, it made your skin crawl, a tingle down your spine made you twist on the floor, making him chuckle

“Oh darling”, he teased, “are you afraid of me?”, he leaned in, until he could whisper in your ear, “you should be”

“You rapacious rat bastard”, you accused, and he just laughed, “we gave you sanctuary”

“Well, it's not like we needed it”, he said, hissing theatrically. “I already have a Sanctuary”

“If you could come in at any second, why do all of this?”, you asked him. He just looked down at you

“You won’t believe the valuable information I gathered these past weeks”, he said, now he spoke seriously, “How you work as a team, how you think… specially, how you think”, you frowned as you looked at him, “you gave me much to think darlin’, you did”, he said, “now!”, you jumped as he suddenly raised his voice, “I don’t want the others to think I play favorites, so, be a doll, and stay there looking pretty alright?”, He walked away from you, teasing, looking at the different people he had on his knees

You were nothing impressive, barely people that got a couple of weeks of training with Alex and Rosita, definitely no threats.

You looked around to find your people, Gabriel, and Tyresse, you cursed them in your mind, for you could tell they didn’t fight it, they just took it, and went willingly when armed guys entered their houses and made them kneel.

“People of Alexandria!”, he shouted, “For those who don’t know me… I’m Negan”, he said, he swung his barbed wire bat threateningly, “Deanna here did knew me better though, thought she could strike a deal with me, close and personal”, he teased with a wide smile, “but that’s not how it works”

“You told me we had more time”, she accused, and this was a bit above your paygrade, but… you really wanted to know what went down there.

You heard gunshots in the distance, coming from Olivia’s place down the street, you looked at Negan, but he was only smiling widely, a bit later, two men brought in Carl, alone, they haven't even touched him, but they treated him roughly and made him kneel right on the other side of the street in front of you. his eyes immediately found yours

“are you ok?”, you mouthed, and he barely nodded

“I will let Olivia stay in the house with Judith”, hearing the little girl’s name coming out from his mouth made your stomach turn, “for you to see how reasonable I can be”, he said with a smile. 

But that didn’t make you feel any better

“That’s all of them boss”, muttered a guy you haven't seen before, so Negan seemed to look for someone amongst you, you saw his dark eyes scanning the place, then he finally turned to the both of you

“Where’s Alexander?”, he asked, you looked around and realized, he wasn’t anywhere, they brought in Rosita, but not him

“He got away”, said Rosita with a smirk, but Negan was not amused at all. 

“Find him!”, he said, and a group of Simon's men ran to fulfill the order, you looked at Rosita and she nodded at you, you smiled back

He was going to indeed fuck them up

“This is not funny”, muttered Negan, “this shit ain’t funny at all, in fact, it's gonna cost you!”, he said, out loud.

Alex was right, he presented a threat to this, and it's a good thing he escaped, he could do so much from the outside, especially if he manages to get to the container filled with guns. 

“Before we can truly start this… we need to wait for the rest of you”, your eyes could not leave his form, he truly scared you, he was unpredictable, “they should be back shortly”, your eyes opened wide… oh the rest of them? Daryl? Rick? Michonne?

No no no no

“Yeah, you should leave before they get here”, said Carl, he was defiant as always, “they will kill you all”, he snapped

“Carl!”, you called, “stop”, Negan chuckled darkly, as did many of their men

“Really kid? threats?”, he asked

“You think you know us but you don’t”, he kept going, “you don’t really know how dangerous we are”

“Carl please!”, you said again. Alexander was right, you were the threats and so far… you had been fine, but Negan did not need to be reminded there was a clear difference between your group and the natives of Alexandria, not right now.

“Don’t be rude darling”, said Negan, “the kid and I are talkin”

Negan then looked around with a smile on his face

“Oh is that what this is? Are you waiting for the valiant heroes to come back and save you? for the badass group that your leader accepted into your home to rescue all from the big bad wolf?”, he laughed, he laughed in the faces of all the hopeful people, “oh if you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying much attention!”, he was like one of those charismatic presenters of those TV contests and if you weren’t at his mercy, with a gun pointing to the back of your head, you’d be really entertained 

The sky was turning gray, the new day threatening to show up, but you still had a couple of hours left… of darkness.

Headlights interrupted you, coming from the gates, and the rumbles of a couple of engines cut through the silence that had been settled above the lot of you.

“Damn! Was that cool or what? we timed it almost perfectly!”, Negan said with a wide smile, the gates opened to let four other vehicles in, two of them were vans, then there was the RV, Alexandria’s RV, and then a big truck. They came down the street until they were in front of the first vehicles. The vans parked backwards so the back was towards you. 

Several men surrounded the vehicles, and helped them unload whatever was in the van. Soon, you realized, they were the rest of your family.

Simon led the gloomy committee, as he made his men drag your family from the vehicles. You gasped when you saw Daryl, they just threw him on the street, he was not wearing the long sleeve shirt had this morning, he had his vest but nothing more, and he was shaking, covered by a thick blanket, and down his right arm was blood, shiny, new blood, he was wounded

His eyes found your own and you wanted to cry

The others seemed well, although, you could tell, there were some people missing… Maggie, Glenn, Beth, Carol, Morgan, they were nowhere to be seen.

Oh gods, where they dead?

You tried to get to Daryl but someone grabbed you roughly -again- making you whine in pain, throwing you back into the ground. 

You then looked for the eyes of Rick, who just looked like he just came down to the same realization as you. He was looking at Negan like he was the evil incarnated, and you realized that just now he was coming to the realization you had about an hour ago.

That Smith was Negan… That you were completely screwed, and at the mercy of the enemy that you had let inside your walls. 

The rest of them, Abraham, Sasha, Aaron, Eugene, Michonne, looked… like they had been through hell, and you could read the shock in their faces like an open book

Abraham, and Michonne looked more composed, showing nothing in their stone cold faces. But… the rest of them were completely frightened

“Great!, now that everyone’s here…!”, it was like Smith was on crack, “or at least… some of you”, shit shit shit, you looked frantically at Rick, who found your eyesight and nodded softly, trying to calm you down, you now were the one losing it, and quickly. 

“We can come to an agreement…”

“Nope!”, said Negan, swinging his bat into the air, “No, Rick, you don’t speak for Alexandria, and don’t think you’d notice… but you are not in a position to negotiate anything right now”, he said, he was very theatrical, he was. “Now, where were we?”, he asked, he turned and looked at you, you looked back at him wide-eyed, “oh yeah… first impressions, paying the price of someone escaping… yes… let’s wrap that up”, he said 

This couldn’t be good

“But…!”, with his sudden change of tone he always made you jump, “before we can begin, I need you all to turn to the same page as us… you need to understand… how things are going to be from now on… we… are the saviors, and now, you are under our wings”, he said with a taunting smile, “you will scavenge for me, you will work for me, and you will provide for me… in turn… we… will save you”

“From what?”, asked Abraham. But it only took one look from Negan for you to realize what he meant… from himself and his group.

“From the dead ones, of course”, he said, frowning, but with a wide smile on his face. “For you to understand who I am… and who we are… We want to make things clear from the get go… so I’m going to beat the hell out of one of you… fine people”, he said, you heard gasps and quiet ‘no’s’, and people moving on their own very spots, but everyone was frozen to death, “it should have been three…”, he said then, “I told Deanna to give me three names, preferably of the new group, from the Rick’s Pricks….”, you looked at Deanna and she looked possibly defeated, looking at Negan with a hate in her eyes

And for the first time, you understood what Mayor meant…

When a good man goes to war, even the devil clenches his buttcheeks… or something like that 

If looks could kill, Negan would definitely be dead

“... But she wouldn’t give even one of them up!”, said Negan, “and thennnn…”, he turned back to you, “this fine lady here made a really good point”, he said, and you couldn’t believe what good point you could have made. “You will not bend… oh no… the usual package won’t work with you, will it? you are survivors, fighters, you will fight and fight and fight me… so… let’s begin”

It was deadly quiet… you shared concerned looks as you found the one of Daryl, who looked like he wanted to spring to you, you mouthed to him, “I’m alright”, and you had faith that everything was going to be alright. 

“There is one person here, that will be the pea under my mattress, the little bitch stone inside my boot, this person… and that person… needs to die, for you all to realize how serious about this I am, and how I am able to fulfill my threats, I really want you all to know me”, he said. 

Negan walked… slowly, taunting you, he walked in front of all of you.

You felt Daryl’s gaze on you so you returned the stare

Whatever was going to happen, you couldn’t wait any longer, the wait, the uncertainty, was driving you mad, you wanted to go to him, to hold him, you could tell he was having a horrible time, his eyes… his face was sickly pale, he was shaking, he had a bullet wound on his shoulder, you could tell, he had been badly injured.

Behind him, you saw the bastard with Daryl’s own crossbow, pointing it at him, waiting for any excuse to kill him. Looking at him with such contempt, just like Arat looked at you, what the hell did you do to these people for them to hate you that much?

Without knowing it you gave a piece of your mind to the leader of the organization, and because of that he was going to take it out on your family.

He whistled once more, and he stopped right as he pointed his bat at you.

“NO!”, screamed Daryl. And Negan laughed

“Speak again and I will bash her pretty little brains in”, he said severely, “Relax Daryl-boy”, he said, recuperating his smile, “I wouldn’t dare to touch the golden girl here, oh no”, he said, then looking at Rick, he made a quick turn around, so quick that it made your head spin.

“Any takers?”, he asked.

You looked around once more and everyone was just petrified, you had seen freakishly scary leaders and what they could make his followers do, but not the locals, these people, were just now coming hard to this reality.

You saw it in Atlanta in the hospital, in Terminus, with the claimers, and with the biker gang in the road, and with the wolves.

The monsters this new sick world had created

But many of these people had never seen anything like this before.

But as you looked around more closely, the circle has kind of limited into your group, and Alexandrian’s inner circle, they didn’t bother with the old ladies and gentlemen, no, you didn't even saw Jesse anywhere

He was going to take his pick from the very top group.

“So nobody thinks they deserve to be taken by Lucille?”, he asked, swinging his bat again, did he name it? that was its name? you were confused. 

You were just coming to the realization that one of you was going to die tonight, that this Negan psycho was going to beat one of you to death. 

“You don’t have to kill anybody”, said Michonne quickly, “we understand”, she said severely, “we work for you now”, Negan just looked at her, the smile never wiped from his face.

“No, you see I don’t see that you understand, this woman here, tried to cut the corner, didn’t take me seriously, and that’s why I think I should bash someone’s head in, and I really wanted it to be Alexander”, he said out loud, “but… he ran like a cowards so another one must pay…”

The rage was leaving your body, like foam after being showered, what took your body instead was something you hadn't seen in a while… fear. It felt like a cold shower, numbing your shaking extremities. Maybe it was you, maybe it was and he said that to make you think you weren’t the chosen one, he knew you had brought in Alexander and you were close to Rick and Daryl, he was going to kill you. 

He swung his abt, with time, with purpose and determination towards Tyresse, and you heard, in fractions of a second, screams and gasps, but the bat missed his head by mere inches and you knew he hadn't missed on purpose, he was trying to scare you all.

It worked

Everyone was whimpering, and Tyresse had started crying, Sasha had screamed and she was now crying.

This couldn’t be happening. As you saw around, and looked at each and everyone one of the faces of the men and women there, tough as nails, waiting to shoot you int he head, or beat you to death, or held you captive, or torture you.

You started to think about all the things that happened between your both groups, what you did in the sanctuary, how you beat a couple of them up… how they beat you up… how you just tried to kill one of them because of your rage.

Did you bring this on your group?

Perhaps you should have done a deal with them from the beginning.

Perhaps things should have been different. 

Negan took himself to the other side of the round, this time, nearing the ones who showed up later to the party. He stopped right in front of Daryl, and then he turned to look at you. He played with the bat on his hand, that’s when the tears started falling from your eyes, silently, but you were just preparing for the worst.

The second best after Alex could be Daryl, he was like a wild horse of the great Northamerican wilderness, untamable, and Negan knew it.

“You know what?”, he said then, “I want to start our relationship on the right foot”, he said, taking long, slow steps, like he was marching right back to the center of the circle, “this ugly duckling colluded against your group Rick…”, he said, “he a two-faced prick, and you know what? nobody likes a person you cannot trust”, he said simply, “that will always be there… whispering behind your back, looking to tumble the first domino, and… I just hate snitches”, he said.

It was one second.

Only one

One moment Negan was looking at Rick, with his back turned to the cars with the lights on, and the next? 

You saw a trail of blood flying, passing right in front of the lights and for a fraction of a second, it shone like glitter.

That was before you heard the screaming

“NO!”

When you managed to focus your gaze, half of Spencer’s face was completely destroyed, and a piercing scream cut through the night.

It was Deanna

You had never heard something so soul piercing, it made you shake as you fell on your side.

Negan was still on position, with his bat over his shoulder tainted with red

“Anybody moves… they’re next”, he said simply, and you heard several safeties being taken out. 

“No! NO!”, Deanna whined, as Negan bashed Spencer’s head in, again, and again, and again.

His movements were dramatic, exaggerated, blood, and pieces of guts flew in every direction, some even landed on Deanna.

His own mother

Spencer was an asshole, but killing him in front of his own mother?

This was sick

You wanted to throw up, but at the same time, you couldn’t take your eyes off of Spencer’s shape, there was no longer a head to look at at, it was only a bloody pile as Negan kept coming at it, again and again

Like he wanted to make it clear to you

That he wasn’t playing around. 

“Wow!”, he said, finally turning back, leaving the rest of Spencer alone, “I love some nightly workout, keep my juices flowing, can’t wait to get back home to all my wives!”, he said, “two weeks was it? three? too damn long if you ask me! I gonna screw them all”

The only thing you heard was Deanna’s screeches, as she twisted in pain, clutching at her own chest, not being able to move as she -as everyone- was being held at gunpoint.

This was sick

Negan stood there, like he just didn’t kill a person in the most sadistic way possible, cracking jokes and talking about screwing women.

“Spencer let us in the middle of the night, he surrendered his own community to us”, he said, this time, he was not smiling, “I don’t want to have him on my team and I don’t want you to have him on yours”, he said.

You finally managed to turn and look back at Rick, his eyes were red, and trailed on Spencer still, he couldn’t believe what was happening, neither could you, this was so surreal

“I really hope i made myself clear because i just love doing that”, he said, “so does lucille”

“We get it!”, said Michonne, “we do”

“I’m glad”, Negan said, “because I truly believe this could be the beginning of a very nice relationship”, he said, “I’m not an idiot, I know that you went out there, you know about the hilltop, I don’t want you to get ideas…”

“We are not getting anything”, Tyresse assured him… he was trying to keep it together, for the group. Finally he had snapped out of his tightening fear, and you were somewhat relieved. 

“I love this”, he admired, “I love that you are understanding, and I want you to see how reasonable I can be”, he said, “that’s why, nobody else needs to die tonight…”

You could feel relieved but Negan proved to be so unstable and unpredictable you didn’t know if this was good or bad.

“I said I wanted three for Lucille, I only took one, but I think… I’m not gonna kill any more of you, because that just won’t work with you people, right?”, his smile was unsettling, and he directed it straight at you, because of what you said, “I’ll just take the right people, and each time you do something wrong, I’ll kill them, right in the comfort of my home”, that seemed to snap Rick out of his stupor, 

“No…”, said Rick shakily, “take me, only me…”, Negan chuckled

“Ever the righteous hero! I love that, but that’s not gonna cut it, not really”, he said, “I need you here leading the efforts to get things for me Rick”, he said, then, he started walking around, watching at each and everyone of you, “though pickins though”, he said pensively, “I noticed that some people are missing”, Rick looked around nervously, “tough mission out there?”, he asked, and Rick barely nodded, “If I find them in a certain community I might rethink what I just said… Rick…”, he threatened.

So the rest of them were on the Hilltop? all of them?

“Damn… I wanted to ask Maggie to come back with me”, he said, “well… lets wrap this up I want to go back home already”

He pointed, at two people, and his goons grabbed them, you heard screams, but you couldn’t look, you were looking at Daryl

It was your turn to scream as he pointed the bat at him

“NO!”, you screamed, trying to get up, “don’t touch him!”, two saviors grabbed you as three others, including Dwight, grabbed Daryl and loaded him in the same van he had come in, “GIVE HIM BACK!”, you tried to fight them, you did, but they were stronger than you, you were tired, and you had been through so much in the last hours, you weren’t even a threat to them right now.

So you could do nothing as you saw how they took the love of your life, and your friends.

They throw you back into the ground when they realize you were no threat to them.

“Oh darling, I’d take you too”, Negan said, “but I need you here, I need you here to convince your friends to cooperate, because if they don’t… you know what’s gonna happen to your Daryl, right?”, he asked, and you nodded, “I’ll treat him good”, he assured you, as you met his gaze, “if he wants it, I’ll make him a soldier and he will live like a King…”

You knew Daryl was never going to go for that

“... don’t you worry”, he said, “I’ll be back in a couple of days, I’ll leave you so you’ll… gather your thoughts”, he walked away from you to address the rest again, “and I want you to know, I still like to very much kill Alexander, so if you see him… tell him I have his girl, because he is a coward and a deserter, let’s move out!”

You felt them around you, walking around, getting in their cars, and driving off, but you felt nothing, as your eyes were set on the gates.

They took Daryl.

“Deanna? Deanna!”, you heard around you, but you couldn’t make your eyes work, you couldn’t make your body react.

“You were right Rick”

“Deanna! we are gonna get some help! you are gonna be alright”

“Rick… you were right”, she said. 

Sorry for taking so long... I really wanted to make it intense but then I'm not sure I accomplished what I wanted

“You know? I used to defend myself pretty decently in the kitchen”, you began softly, “but in the old times I would… you know watch a video on my phone and go, uh I want to eat that, so I would go to the store and get the ingredients to make”, you told them with a soft smile, “but never like this you know, you are like a witch, make magic out of… just things”, you laughed, Carol giggled as she put ingredients in a bowl, many of which came from a can

“It’s not that difficult, come here”, you passed by her side of the kitchen after washing your hands, and she began teaching you little tips. This goes with this, if you want it with sugar you can eat this, this can replace butter, and so on.

Daryl just watched the two of you bond sitting on the kitchen bar with his head on his hands, he seemed hypnotized by the two of you, so he just looked at your interactions with a small smile on his lips 

He stayed until she served the three of you food, and you ate happily, it was one of the best things you had eaten, and you let her know that.

The environment near Carol, for the first time since you knew her, wasn’t heavy or tense, for the first time she was being honest with you, her true self, as the three of you ate. You still could feel the darkness looming, of the impending conflict, of the coming war. But tonight, you decided to put all of that aside.

As soon as you were done with dinner, you cleaned up, and, to your surprise, Rosita came to the house looking for you

“Hey, what’s wrong?”, you asked her softly, her eyes were a bit bloodshot, like she had been crying

“Can you cover my guard shift tonight?”, she asked you, and if she was coming to you, you knew she didn't have another choice, so you nodded

“Of course”, you assured her

“Its from eight to 4”, she warned, but you nodded

“It’s everything alright?”, you asked her, she just shook her head.

“Abraham left me”, she whispered, “I thinks there’s someone else”, you opened your mouth

“What? really?”, you asked her. From all the couples of Alexandria, Abraham and Rosita would be the last ones you expected to split up, “I’m so sorry”, you whispered

“I’m just… too distracted you know? I don’t think I would be able to guard properly”

“Say less”, you assured her, she only nodded, and left. You weren’t concerned, she was a woman of a few words that preferred to lick her wounds alone, yet… This proved to you she knew she could count on you, so if she needed you, she was going to come to you.

“I’m on guard duty”, you told Daryl, as he was talking to Carol in whispers, both seemed like they were onto something very interesting, stopped speaking just as you entered back to the house

“Alright”, Daryl said simply, “ya sure?”, you barely nodded, so he didn't fight it. Rick came next to the house and Daryl took the opportunity to leave quietly, thinking you wouldn’t notice, you didn’t know what that was about.

“Tomorrow we are going to the Hilltop”, he said, you frowned

“Why?”, you asked

“To gather support to fight the saviors”, he said, he expected you were going to be against it, like he prepared for you for it. “I know you are not into the idea”

“Of my family starting a war?”, you asked him, “not really”

“We will win this”, he said, convinced

“But at what cost?”, you asked

“We will get Hilltop’s help, Jesus said they were trading with more groups… this could be the start of something, if we all fight the saviors they’ll have no choice but to release them”

“Promise you are only going to talk to the Hilltop”, you begged him, you didn’t even know what Hilltop was about. 

“Yes”, he said quickly, “I need you to stay here”. you would ask why, but you guessed is because of your negative for the whole operation in the first place, “Need you to keep the place in one piece, besides, Deanna is not into this either”

“Fine”, you said, “but I want to go eventually”, you said with a soft smile

“Of course you will”, he said, “Carl is staying, the new guys too”

“Fine”, you echoed. He left you. Of all the things you had disagreed on with Rick, this was definitely the worst one, the strongest you felt. Besides you couldn’t get distracted with a war, you needed to deal with the walkers on the quarry and to make Alexandria stronger and more united.

You went directly to the armory, you grabbed an assault rifle with a scope and a silencer, and you went to the gates, you stopped on your tracks when you saw Abraham and Sasha talking and laughing, with a very -strange- closeness between them. 

No… What?

You relieved them, and she nodded in your direction with a smile, you nodded back, but Abraham just didn’t even look at you, he was too smitten with Sasha to notice. 

You didn’t want to take sides, Abraham was… a great figure in your life and in your group, but Rosita was your friend and… you really needed to get more info on the matter. 

You shook your head and you climbed onto the platform near the gates. 

Something you had learned in your months alone… At night, you remembered how scared you were, those first nights, in complete darkness, not knowing what loomed there, until, one night, when you found a bottle of moonshine, you decided, very drunk, that you could “connect” with the night, with the darkness, that it was a state of mind, and after many nights -sober-, you determined you were right.

It took a couple of minutes, it required you to close your eyes to tune your ears, then open them to adjust them to the low light.

It’s a state of mind, it’s a state of mind

You chuckled when you remembered a funny chapter of one of your favorite TV shows, anyways… Unagi: A state of total awareness 

Anyways, of course you looked outside the walls, but you looked inside as well, from this perspective you could see the main street of Alexandria and many of their houses

From here, a silent post beside the wall, you could see many things.

You saw Rick coming out of Jesse’s house, what was up with that?

You saw the couple that just left take a turn and not go for Abraham’s house, the house he shared with Rosita, you saw them going into the group’s second house. You saw Denise with Tara walking hand in hand… and then you saw Daryl, coming out of Aaron’s garage, his usual workshop, with Carol and they seemed to be talking about something, they both seemed excited, which was very odd. They didn’t even catch you watching, so you just turned back to the complete darkness. 

It was such a contrast 

Out there? the wild, sick world that wanted to rip you apart and eat you, and in here… behind the safety of walls, stood you, protected from the outside world. Life & Death, Danger & Safety.

Bananas.

Some voices took you out of your determined stance, again, from here, you could see everybody, but nobody could see you. You look back towards the street, but the voices were ricocheting, it finally led you to the source, against the side of Deanna’s house, against the wall. From here, and with the help of the lights from the houses still on, you could see the distinctive figures of Smith, and Spencer, they were talking in angry whispers.

And then they both started walking towards you

You were a curious person, you wanted to know what they were talking about… but.. also if they say something you shouldn’t hear… But you couldn’t hear shit, Ross would be so disappointed. 

You just stood there, guarding, they are the ones that should be careful, right? But you really started to wonder what they had to talk about in such… 

“Good night darlin”, Smith seemed to interrupt Spencer in the middle of his sentence, clearly meant for him to shut the hell up now that he noticed that you were within ear range

“Good morning gentlemen”, you said with an even voice

“I thought Rosita was going to be up there tonight”, muttered Spencer

“She asked me to cover for her”, you answered firmly 

“You heard her, my turn to guard”, Smith muttered, climbing the platform you were on.

“It’s Spencer’s turn”, you clarified

“Well, I’m covering for him”, he said simply, and you didn’t want to be difficult, so you just nodded, trying to ignore his imponent figure by your side. You looked at Spencer walking away from the both of you, he seemed disappointed. “So? how are you feeling tonight darlin?”, he asked, there's something about him that made you terribly nervous

“I’m better”, you said, more firmly, trying to put as much distance between you as you possibly could, in that small platform it was a bit difficult, but you liked the space

“You ran off today”, he said, “I can tell this is hard for you”, he was being condescending, but you really didn’t want to react poorly

“It is”, you whispered, “I don’t want anybody to die”, you whispered, “we have been through so much, we finally have this thing going on for us and… I just want to enjoy it, but we can’t seem to catch a break”, you whispered. “With an army of walkers looming over us, and then the Saviors”

“They seem like nasty sons of bitches”, he said

“I just don’t get it”, you answered, “I’ve come across groups that…”, you interrupted yourself, “nasty ones, truly nasty ones, that I still have nightmares about… I just don’t understand, we should all be fighting the dead together, not amongst ourselves”, yous aid, exasperated, “we have all lived through unimaginable pain, none one of us has gone through this unharmed… we should be focusing all of our efforts into ending the hordes of dead ones, and try to make things right again, instead, we are fighting and killing each other” 

“So what do you think we should do with the Saviors?”, he asked

“Cut the best deal possible, now… before there’s dead ones on both sides… before it's too late, maybe we made it out the lot of us”, you said simply, “but Rick is right, they will not treat us fairly, I have seen it, these bastards are bullies, feeding on the terror they can impose on their victims, they will tease, and take, and bully, and press, and threaten, try and make us bend, and bend, and bend… but the thing is… we will break first”, you muttered, “we will snap”

“So that’s it uh?”, he asked, more outloud than expecting an answer

“I get what this Negan guy is trying to accomplish, I think, but that isn’t the way, you can’t put the worst people to deal with the decent people still in this world… that’s how it works, bigger empires had fallen for less”, you whispered, “anyways... The idea of having two people on watch is that they guard different points”, you said giving him a side eye

“Yeah sure but this is way more entertaining”, he said simply. You only chuckled

“Where you out there much?”, you asked him then, curious 

“Not really”, he said, “I was never alone, first I was with my wife, then with Laura and her father… then more people joined us… then… Well, some left, some died… other came and went, we were the last ones standing”

“I’m sorry”, you whispered

“How about you?”, he asked

“When this shitshow started I was in Atlanta, met some people there, we put on a team to try and wipe out the dead”, you muttered, “then I left said team after a couple died, I was alone out there, scavenging, never staying in one place… until Carl found me sleeping on a roof”, you whispered, “then I met the group, and we traveled together here, found it on our way to DC”

“Damn, you were out there alone?”, he asked

“Yeah”, you whispered, “For a while”

“How did you manage?”, he asked

“I’m not gonna lie there were some days in which I just… didn’t seem to see where the ship was going, know what I mean? so I just… discovered that primal part of me that many others have too… the survival part”, you rambled, looking into the void of darkness beyond the wall, “I have done things, thought things that a couple of years ago would have frightened me, but now, I just… I internalized it, created this thing, between the survivor and the old me, and she is… kinda unhinged”, you said, chuckling, he chuckled too, “I’m gonna take a lap”, you muttered

The hours passed slowly, by the time it was done, it was 4am and everything was dead, dark, not lights in the houses.

Smith found you in the other post and walked you back home

“So you are saying, you could work with the saviors”, he said

“I don’t think we have a choice, but I will do as Rick and the rest want”, you said

“What about Deanna?”, he asked then, and then you remembered his heated conversation with Spencer

“She is great, and a good leader, but my loyalty goes to Rick first”, you warned, he smiled, and nodded

“Good to know”, he said.

“Hey”, to your surprise, Daryl came out of the house

“You waited for me?”, you asked sweetly, but Daryl was too occupied throwing daggers at Smith to care for your words, as he reached where you were standing on the porch and placed a hand on your hip, possessively., “thank you”

“F’course”, he said, but he was still looking at this guy. “Let’s go”, he said, you waved weirdly at Smith who was just looking at the scene, entertained and walked away once you were back inside the house

“What were you doing with that guy!?”, he asked angrily, as soon as you were alone, making you flinch

“We were on guard duty, the both of us”, you answered back with a frown

“It's like everytime I turn you are with him!”, he said, and you didn’t understand why this guy make Daryl tick so much

“it was an unfortunate set of accidents”, you said calmly, “nothing else”, he promised, caressing his arms

“Don’t like him”, he said

“I know”, you answered back, “I will try to stay away from him, alright?”, you asked, with a smile creeping onto your face, you kinda found this jealous Daryl… interesting.

“What are you smiling for?”, he asked

“Never seen you this jealous before”, you teased, he smirked

“Yer mine, I told ya”

“Yeah, and you are mine”, you said, with your hand on his hips, “in that same square, what were you up to before, in Aaron’s garage?”, you asked him, he chuckled, but he averted your gaze

“Nothin”

“Are you going to try to put another bike together?”

“Yeah”, he said with a soft smile

“Well… if you are a biker you know what that makes me?”, you asked him with a cheeky smile

“Mmm my ol’ lady”, he said, you laughed

“Indeed”, you brought him to you and kissed him softly, “let’s go to bed”

“We aint’ gonna’ be sleepin’ much”, he warned

“Yeah I know”

“Tomorrow I got that trip to the Hilltop”, he said, his blue eyes analyzing your face

“Don’t go”, you begged him, his face quickly twisted into a frown

“What?”, he asked 

“Don’t go”, you insisted, “stay home, with me”

“I have ta’ go”, he said, “we are getting people to fight the saviors!”

“We shouldn’t”, you said quickly, “we shouldn’t fight them”

“They kidnapped and tortured you!”, he said angrily

“Yeah, and the claimers threatened to rape and kill us, after beating us up, and the terminus people locked us up and tried to eat us, and the wolves tried to hack us up while I wasn’t here, but here we are!”, you said

“Yeah because they're dead!”, he said quickly, “they are all dead!”

“I’m trying to get what happened to me behind this”, you said, he stopped in his tracks, “I’m not going to let what happened define me!”, you said angrily, “I’m not going to let those bastards ruin my life!”, you said, “but maybe it's too late, if you keep going down this path, it will be ruined!”, you said. He shook his head

“How ya’ think I feel?!”, he asked angrily, making you jump in your place, “M’yer man, of all the men here ya chose me to protect ya, ya gave yourself to me and I failed!”

“I’m with you because I love you for who you are, I did not “gave myself” to you because I wanted you to protect me!”, he stood there, quietly, “you are not at fault for this!”, you said back

“We need to make it right!”, he said back. 

“If you want to make it right just… don’t let it happen to anyone else!”, you said, “we can’t get anybody killed, especially not one of us!”, you said quickly, “do not go to war with that jackass, we will lose, we will, many will die, and that will not be in our hands, alright?”, he shook his head

“It’s happenin”, he said, “wer goin”, you just nodded. And he walked away from you

“Where are you going?”, you asked him

“My room”, he said, he wasn’t angry, but he did seem disappointed. You pouted, you literally pouted, he didn’t tell you to go with you. You just shook your head to keep your tears at bay and you went up the stairs, to your room.

One step forwards, and two back…

You slept alone for the first time since you were back, and it felt crappy, and you promised yourself that whatever it was, tomorrow you were gonna fix it before he leaves. You were so tired you fell asleep immediately.

The very next day, you helped them get everything they needed.

You looked like a little kid, whose parents were going out and were going to be left at home with their least favorite aunt or uncle.

“When we come back, we’ll deal with the walkers in the quarry, we will need the training”, Rick promised, just like a parent would give a poor consolation prize to the kid left behind.

You barely nodded.

You watched Daryl move things into the RV, head hanging low, so you approached him with a smile

“Be safe”, you said, he looked at you surprised, as he didn’t expect it, like he expected you to be mad at him

“Yeah”, he assured you, you hugged him tightly, kissing him softly on the lips, everyone was there, you didn’t care, he was smiling when you split

“Come back to me?”, you asked him

“Always”, he answered back

“M’sorry fer last night”, he whispered

“You don’t have to be, people disagree on things, that’s what happens”, you said gently, “I did not like sleeping alone tough”

“Yeah, me neither”, he whispered

“Have you heard the saying, if you can’t fight them join them?”, you asked him, “I will join you in whatever you all want to do if I can’t convince you otherwise”, you whispered, he nodded, “there’s strength in numbers”

“love you”, he whispered

“love you too”, you answered back

“You both are going to give me diabetes because of all that sweetness”, Carol mocked as she walked by, ready to go.

Going out there was a risk, with the saviors going around, so they were taking most of the team, and where heavily armed, just in case

Maggie, Glenn, Beth, Abraham, Sasha, Eugene, Carol, Michonne, Aaron, Daryl, Morgan and Rick.

Leaving you with Rosita, Tyresse, Gabriel, surprisingly Alexander, and of course the kids and the Alexandrians 

You wanted to go to the Hilltop, but this wasn’t the day, and you were not gonna fight it, you only regret you didn’t have that jealousy-motivated sex, Daryl was looking all riled up and… you were getting horny again

“I know that look”, whispered Daryl in your ear, you giggled

“You get me all riled up and then you bolt, that is not nice Dixon”, you warned, he chuckled

“I have something nice for ya, fer when I get back”, he whispered, that truly peaked your interest, you looked quickly at both sides, and when you made sure nobody was watching you, you hooked your finger in the hem of his pants

“It better be something I haven’t seen before”, you teased, he got so red he hid under his hair

“It ain’t”, he said, after shooking his hair off of his face and looking at you with a sheepish smile. You smiled widely

“You know how curious I am, and you saying this just before taking off is kinda mean”, you laughed, “but… I’ll make sure to have something nice for you too then”, you said with a smile

“Yeah, and I don’ mind if I had seen it ’fore”, he teased back, hooking his finger to the belt loop of your jeans. You giggled

“Come back soon then”, you said confidently, “my ol’ man” 

“We will, my ol’ lady”, he whispered back, leaning in and kissing your lips.

You made sure to hug each and every one of your people that were going on that mission, as you liked to do, and you even waved goodbye when you saw the three cars leaving through the gates.

You helped Rosita close them.

“Wanna tell me what happened?”, you asked her. She looked back at you with a sad smile

“I’m gonna be needing a drink for that”, she said, you nodded, “I know where Spencer keeps his good stuff”

“Good thing he is guard duty tonight”, you said and she smiled

“What are you ladies planning?”, asked Alex, walking towards you

“Is a weird thing you didn’t go”, you said, changing the subject, he shrugged

“I’m conflicted with the chain of command”, he said, “I want to follow Deanna’s lead, and she doesn’t approve of this, and maybe because of that it was Rick to ask me to stay, so we don’t leave the place without that much firepower”, he said simply

“Well, good one, we should get together for a little dinner at night”, you said with a soft smile

“Yes, but… we have a busy day ahead of us”, he said, “training the people for once”

“I’ll go with you”, you answered back, “I need it too”

You weren’t here, when a band of fuckers that called themselves the wolves jumped the walls and started butchering everyone

They didn’t get far, luckily most of the people where here, but there had been several casualties, and now the Alexandrians were more motivated to take their classes in defense, they had seen first hand the cruelty of the new world.

It had been a bloodbath, it got bad

10 people died, Alexandrians, old people, defenseless people, many of Carol’s fake friends

But the wolves had died, all of them, something ensued with Morgan… it got ugly. You didn't like him, you avoided him. He was a bit… unhinged 

You were kind of glad you weren’t here for that. 

It was a productive day, it felt like it. You participated in the class with Rosita and Alex, you made lunch for the people still here, and then you helped Tobin in the guard posts. He insisted one day you could have a whole walkway between the posts, and more of them too. All around the wall, it was a nice dream

Alex told you he was gonna fill a well to help with a water system for the plants, but he told you and only you he was going to hide the guns away from the community before you could use the tanker, so you went with him, so you could watch nobody was following you. 

You hid the guns in a container Alex and Abraham buried with Alexandria’s machinery they were using for the walls, it was a nice place near the construction place.

You took another Pentagon gun, you believed it was the coolest thing ever, to have a once government issued gun? super cool. You were gonna need another silencer, lucky for you, it wasn’t common for them to use them in their guns, so there was always one around.

You also took a couple of walkers on the way

And you came back before the sun sets

You were concerned for your friends. You had this weird feeling in your stomach, that something was terribly wrong, and yet, you couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

What if they got attacked on the road? What if the saviors get to them?

You wanted to believe they would give them a chance, if their plan was mainly to subdue communities to get their shit, you guessed they needed them alive for that… and also… they were badasses… you were gonna pity the saviors they encountered. 

When you were back in the streets of Alexandria, you were walking abc home after refilling the well when you encountered Laura

“Hey, wanna grab something to eat at my place?”, you asked her, she smiled at you

“Sure”, she said with a smile

And you gathered with Carl, Alex, Rosita, Gabriel, Tyresse, the guy Gary, even Spencer, Smith, you all joined. You laughed with them, told stories, you talked, and you were happy, they were finally joining in. 

You wanted to include them, like Rick and their people included you.

But you’d come to find out… soon… that Daryl’s words, the ones that he told you last in that barn before you got to Alexandria… prove them right.

In the longest debate on who to trust and who don’t, which people are good and which ones aren’t, on those who are deserving to be welcomed in Alexandria and in the inner circle and those who weren’t… this was going to be a hard lesson to learn.

You managed to get rid of all the rest and stayed home with Rosita and Alex

“That pelirrojo hijo de puta left me for someone else”, she said, sipping on the scotch. You looked at her and wondered: how the fuck did Abraham could possibly pull someone better than Rosita?, and Alex seemed ready to poach her too. That sneaky motherfucker

“I’m sorry Rosita”, you whispered, “never saw it coming”, you said 

“You know what he said? that he thought I was the last woman on the planet, so that’s why he got with me, and now he realizes that I’m not”

That seemed to be unnecessarily cruel.

“But I don’t want to ruin the night, el puede irse a la mierda, so… how are you and Dixon doing?”, she asked you

“We had a little fight last night… but we made up this morning”, you said simply, “I’m just worried about the savior’s shit, 

“Oh yeah, you made up… miss that honeymoon face”, she mocked. 

“Well lucky you ladies, i haven’t been with anyone since before the collapse”

“WHAT?!”, you both asked at the same time

“Not many choices”, he said as a justification, “I was in killer mode”

“Ah c’mon, there’s plenty of nice women right here”, you said back 

“Este está como un avión de combate”, muttered Rosita. Alex laughed. “You speak spanish?”, she asked, surprised and amused 

“Sí señorita”, he said, and now, as they exchanged heated glances, you felt like you were third wheeling but BADLY

“Oh my, should I get out of the line of fire?”, you mocked

 “Oh c'mon this is just getting started, we have Smith and Spencer covering our asses tonight”

“Yeah and I slept like 4 hours and I’m on Judith duty tomorrow morning”, you said 

“Well, tonight she is with Olivia”, said Rosita.

“Still… I…”, you were destroyed, feeling like you could sleep for days.

“Fine we are going home”, she said, winking, as they both said their goodbyes and left you home. Haunting thought, but if something you knew about relationships in the apocalypse is that each new day you were alive, it was some sort of gift, and there was no time to waste, so… if you wanted something you better get it.

All the couples were getting together rather quickly, again, no time to waste

So you went up to your room, Carl was sleeping, Judith was with Olivia, and the rest of the house was empty.

You fell asleep quickly

But the thing is… when you knew everything, meaning, the safety of those around you, depended on you… your senses heightened, it happened when you had your nieces and nephews with you in the past, and it happened now, it was funny, when you were with Daryl you could sleep through the third world war, but now? you jumped out of your bed when you heard the gates (that were like three blocks away), being opened. And then the sounds of engines. 

Were they back at this hour?

You got out of bed and walked to the other side of the house, and looked through the window

You felt your heart in your fucking throat when you saw a strange trucks coming in, and other vehicles behind it.

What the fuck?

You ran back to your room, your jeans on and boots, got your gun and ax with you, and went to get Carl

“Something is going on!”, you alerted him, and he jumped right with you, he looked at his windows and came back to you, he grabbed his gun from under his bed and was ready in a second

“Go to Olivia’s, wake her up, take care of Judith, shoot anybody that crosses the threshold”, you commanded, and you went down the stairs with him.

You needed to get back to Rosita and Alex, you needed to alert.

“WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY”, someone shouted, it sounded like it was out of a speaker. “PEOPLE OF ALEXANDRIA, WOULD YOU BE A DEAR A JOIN US HERE ON THE STREET?”, that voice sounded hauntingly familiar

You got out of the house by the back door and you escorted Carl until he was inside Olivia’s, and then you managed to turn towards the main street

Trucks with their high lights on were illuminating the main street like a macabre show. There were at least a dozen silhouettes standing there in front of the vehicles, you couldn’t tell who they belonged to.

“WE AIN’T GOT ALL NIGHT PEOPLE!”, you could see people exiting their houses, an

The you saw even more people coming towards the houses, a couple to where you were standing, hiding behind the side of a house

“SAVIORS, GET IN THERE, BRING ME EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THIS LAZY PEOPLE!”, fuck, the saviors where inside the walls, they just went in like they belonged here, but… Spencer was on guard! Spencer and Smith and…

“Spencer? why don’t you give a few words to these kind people? tell them we have nothing to fear”, the voice said simply

“If you come out now, nobody is going to get hurt!”, he said shakily, that traitor. You went inside Rosita’s house.

“It’s me!”, you said quickly, at this point, nobody was asleep

“UP HERE!”, she said. 

“They’re coming”, you said, climbing the stairs 

“Ese hijo de puta!”, she cursed, and when you got to them, in the second floor, you gasped

“Is that… Smith?”, you asked, as the angle finally let you see who was there, front and center

He whistled, a whistled that made your blood ran cold, he was holding a barbed wire bat, and dressed in a leather jacket, but it was him alright

“I HOPE YOU HAVE YOUR PISSING PANTS ON!”, He said loudly, “you are gonna needed them, NEGANS HOME!”