#misguidedcats

It was some sort of miracle that you managed to stay alive this long

You didn't know if it was because of your instincts, mistrust in general, knowledge of the undead because of comics, video games and movies or… whatever. 

It was sort of miraculous

When it hit, you were at an airport, trying to get back home, but all the flights became grounded, and the end of the world began. You ran, with a group of people, the most sensitive ones that didn’t want to go back to the city, to Atlanta, you got stuck in a highway, your group began to collapse.

You are not gonna talk about what you felt the first time you saw one.

This is not that sort of story. World had went to shit almost a year ago

You started to feel like you were blessed but cursed at the same time, every time you joined a group, something happened, everything went to shit, they started fighting, they started killing one another, or they got overrun, you never lasted long with any of them. You bailed before things got really ugly.

It was good to be on your own, sometimes, although you haven't had a decent night’s sleep in a while, a long while

You had a technique, you moved early in the morning as soon as you had visibility, half a day, found sleep on the roof of any house or structure after noon, to be awake all night, because the night was all more dangerous. You had to stay alert

You started moving, away from Atlanta, North, with no plan, you guessed, that in this country that wasn’t your own, the safest place could be Washington DC. The capital, were the president and most important people were, you guessed is there was a stronghold of humanity in this country, that might be it… so you started moving, with a map you scavenged from somewhere 

But it was slow, you couldn’t find a working car and when you could, they were low on gas.

You found a couple of houses in the middle of nowhere, they were packed with things and supplies, and you were relieved, so you grabbed a quick snack, and then went up the stairs, always on guard, but the house was empty, and quiet, and then from a window on a child’s room, you climbed onto the roof, you were so tired.

The roof was steep, but you already knew a couple of techniques not to roll and fall off, fortunately, there was a tree that covered you from the sun, so you cuddled hugging yourself, putting your backpack as a pillow, your ax on your hand and a gun in a holster 

You were lulled to sleep quickly, as you couldn’t hear any roamers, only a soft wind.

But you came quickly to yourself again once you heard the click of the safety of a gun near your face. You jumped, instinct polished by more than a year in the damn apocalypse, you only had to tighten your hand, your ax already there, and the other went to your holster. When you managed to lean up to face the intruder, you came face to face with a boy, who shouldn't be older than twelve

You were not going to shoot a kid, and he seemed indecisive, and not violent even though he was pointing a gun at your face

“Don’t shoot me please”, you said calmly, releasing your gun and letting it slide a bit down the roof, until you couldn’t reach it, you raised your hand until they were far enough from the ax. 

The boy seemed to relax his stance

“Are you alone?”, he asked severely, you nodded

“Are you?”, you asked him, he shook his head, “oh”, oh shit was more like it, were you in danger? he seemed like a serial killer in the making, “look I… don’t want any trouble, I just came across this house, I was sleeping a bit, I just want to… keep moving, alright?”, he stopped pointing his gun at you, “I can drop my weapons to the grass below, you can go and then…”, he put his gun back on his hollister, and came out to the roof with a big can of pudding under his arm

“Oh”, you laughed, “you found it”, you said lightly, he smiled, you showed him your own stash, you had found some candy bars

“I’m Carl”, he said, taking a seat near you, opening the can.

“(y/n)”, you answered back, he started eating it, unapologetically. He seemed so relaxed now, but just a few seconds ago he was pointing a gun at you. 

“Are you a nurse?”, he asked, “or a doctor?”, you shook your head

“No”, you whispered, “are you sick? I have paracetamol”, you offered with the pain of your heart, you almost got killed obtaining it, but he was a kid, and you wanted to think that there were still “codes” in place. 

“No”, he mumbled, “it’s my dad”

“What’s wrong?”, you asked back

“He collapsed, he is tired but… he is not waking up”

“Oh”, you muttered, not offering anything helpful, “It’s just the two of you?”, you asked him, but he frowned when he looked at you, thinking you did not have good intentions

“We were a big group, we got split up”, he mumbled, “after a group attacked our camp, we were hold up in a  prison”

“Really?”, you asked, “that’s smart actually, a place to keep people in, and out”, you mumbled

“Yeah, but we got overrun”, he whispered

“Oh”, you said back

“Do you want to come with us?”, he asked, you looked back at him.

Yes the rest of the groups you had joined had not worked out, but you had been alone for four weeks now, and you were getting pretty tired, and lonely, almost going insane, you had to sing in a low voice to yourself to hear something, a voice even if it was your own

“Are there… more kids?”, you asked, doubting it, “is this like a Peter Pan and the lost boys situation?”, he laughed

“No, it’s my dad, and Michonne, two adults”, you hesitated

“I’m not gonna lie, it’s been tiring being alone”, you admitted, “I would like to hang out with people for a while”, you tried to smile softly at him, and he smiled back. He straightened his posture, and got all serious

“How many walkers have you killed?”, your raised an eyebrow

“Walkers?”, you asked

“Those things”, he clarified, “the undead”

“I call em’ fuckers”, you said with a smile, he laughed, “Don’t know, many, a lot like, I hope a hundred by now”, you said happily and proudly, he nodded

“How many people?”, he asked then

“One”, you whispered

“Why?”, he asked, he wasn’t asking randomly, he knew what questions to ask and why

“He tried to steal from me”, you said truthfully, “something I needed to survive”, he seemed to nod

“What’s in your pack is yours, but what we find from now on, we share with the group, is that cool?”, he asked, you smiled and nodded, “let’s go”, he said.

You both sneaked back into the house, it felt nice to let the decision making go to somebody else, even if that person was a kid 

You came inside the house, and arranged to search the different rooms. You had barely turned your back when Carl opened the door and a walker? came out aggressively. Carl jumped towards the door to try to close it, but the monster was already half out. You grabbed your ax from your belt and smashed the roamer’s head in. He felt limply into the room.

“Thank you”, he muttered. You barely nodded

“I think this was the only one”, you both nodded and kept searching.

You found a flashlight and batteries! you already had one, but it was always useful. You also found some toiletries, which were not a priority, but again, always useful

You searched another house nearby, this kid… was amazing, he seemed to know what he was doing, a bit hesitant, but still. 

Then, we returned to the house, and there, covering the door with a huge sofa, rested a man. He looked a bit wild, thick unruly beard and curls, he must have been on his forties or so. He looked… tough, if anything

“That’s your dad?”, you asked

“Yeah, he is Rick, Rick Grimes”, he muttered

You placed what you scavenged on the coffee table. 

“It's a nice loot”, you admired, he smiled at you

“That’s a cool ax”, he admired

“Thank you! went I first got stranded trying to leave atlante we just happened to stop by a Bass Pro Shop”, you giggled. It was one of those you could throw, with a carbon fiber black handle.

You heard steps on the porch and you raised from the seat you had taken in one of the single sofas of the house, standing on guard. Carl as well stood up, but signaled you to stay calm

“It’s MIchonne”, he mumbled, and a woman entered the house

She was a badass, you knew the second you saw her, long hair in dreadlocks, leather tight vest, and a freakin’ katana hanging from her back

But as soon as she saw you she tried to grab the handle 

“Carl!”, she called

“No!”, he said quickly, placing himself between you both

“Who’s that?”, the little discussion woke up RIck, who, when he saw you, he grabbed his big ass gun he had on his holster

“Dang it!”, you said raising your hand as he pointed the gun at you

“Dad! stop!”, said Carl, with his back turned to you 

“Who are you?”, he asked 

“(y/n)”, you said back quickly, showing him your hands

“Dad is fine”, insisted Carl, “I asked her the questions”, you smiled apologetically

“Are you alone?”, he asked severely

“Yes, I swear”, you muttered

“I haven’t encountered anyone”, muttered Michonne, seconding your words 

You looked at both Michonne and Rick

“Look, I’m alone”, you said quickly, “I have been for a while, a month or so, I’m tired I would really like some company”, you begged, “if not, please, just let me leave, you will never see me again, I swear I want no trouble, for me this is the living VS the dead, I swear”, you said hastily 

“How many walkers have you killed?”, he asked, again. 

“I’d like to think I’m reaching triple digits, but I can’t be sure”, you said in all honesty, still with your hands leveled with your head. He frowned when he looked at you, “I try to drop them all, because, one less human-eating corpse walking around, right?”, you asked, he shared looks with his son, and then nodded. Carl walked until he could see your face, he nodded at you, encouraging you

“How many people have you killed?”, he asked then. You swallowed, hard

“Intentionally? one”, you whined, “but I accidentally pushed something that fell on top of someone and…”

“Why?”, he asked

“We were trying to leave that warehouse and a door just…”

“The one”, he clarified. Your eyes filled with tears

“I was trying to leave the thick of Atlanta, and… he was with me in the safehouse when it collapsed, we ended up wanting… there was only one car and…”, you choked, you still couldn’t sleep some nights, “he had a gun on me and I had a gun on him, I fired first”, you managed to let out, “I like to tell myself that he was a bad person, he certainly sounded like, I… also like to think it was him or me, he was a bit of an asshole…”, he lowered his gun

“I’m guessing you don’t have a camp”, he said slowly, lowering his gun, you shook your head

“I sleep on a lot of roofs”, you muttered, “mainly in the daylight… there is where Carl found me, I keep moving… from house to house, and…”

“Why? Why are you alone?”, you seemed to think the answer

“I’d like to think of myself like someone who is a good people reader”, you said slowly, “I tried to join some groups, but they all collapsed pretty quickly, I… gathered things by myself and I usually scattered before things got ugly”

“Where’s your family?”, he asked, now these questions seemed random

“I was alone in the airport hoping to catch a flight home, when it hit”, you muttered, “my family is on the other side of the continent”, you admitted.

“Are those your weapons?”, you had your ax, and you had a gun which you could find a silencer for, you had been very lucky. You nodded, “are you a good shot?”, you nodded again

“Decent”, you said, “I have been able to take him out with one shot”, you said proudly. They seem to relax, “we found pudding”, you offered with a smile, “I have paracetamol”

. . .

Even if the beginning was a bit… gun-sy, you made peace with Michonne and Rick, and now you felt at a disadvantage because they knew some things about you, but you didn’t know much about them except that Carl was Rick’s son, and Michonne was not related but they knew each other pretty well.

So, as it was night as you had opened some cans of spaghetti, you gathered the courage to speak to them. 

“Carl told me about a prison…”, you started the conversation, they both looked at you with serious faces

“We had built a camp on a prison”, she said, “We were a big group, but we got attacked by another group”, Michonne said, “We all got split when the prison was overrun by walkers and the governor’s people”

“He came with a tank!”, said Carl, and you looked at him surprised

“A tank? really?”, you asked, truly surprised, “Do you have some sort of meeting point?”, you asked, and they looked at each other

“No”, said Rick

“Do you intend to find them?”, you asked

“Yes”, said Michonne

“Great”, you said hopefully, “I hope we do”, you said truthfully. They shared entertained looks 

You consider yourself to be a good people reader, and them? they seem fine to you, though as hell, but good. You felt good, safe, they knew what they were doing, as did you. 

Even though they made you sleep while they kept watch, you managed, to finally, have a good night's sleep. You could understand why they were weary of you, you did, they wouldn’t let you out of their sight, and they didn’t let you protect them at night, but still, you understood, so you did what you normally would have done, and you showed them you could be trusted, leaving your weapons around when you were in the house and trying not to eye them too much even though you were curious. 

You believed they accepted you because they could see you could handle yourself in this fucked up world. And you found yourself wanting to prove yourself to them.

The very next day, they left you on your own to keep scouting the surrounding area, Carl and Michonne left on their side, you guessed they kept testing you.

You had your pack and arms with you, and you did as you always did, you guessed if it was a trap to get rid of you, at least they didn’t rob you or killed you, but Rick had stayed in the house to rest, apparently he had a couple of very rough days and needed it.

You met with Michonne and Carl back again on your way back, you were happy, you found a first aid kit, to replenish your own, and then some, and then you found some cans of mushrooms, those were your favorites, if only you could find some mostaccioli and cream, but that was too much to ask.

You missed pasta

But when the house was in your sights, Rick came running out, signaling you to do the same, there was people in the house, you turned around and started running, being thankful you had carried all your things with you.

“What happened?”, Michonne asked as you were running away from the house

You guarded them, Rick, Carl, Michonne, Tyrell, Carol, Maggie, Glenn, Sasha, Bob, Tyresse and Daryl, you kept watch as you heard them make a list of everyone that was in the prison, and everyone that was accounted for, or you guessed, didn’t make it and they saw it go down

Apparently, as Carl had told you, they had been living in a prison for half a year, it was the perfect place against the new world, you’d think, as you could easily protect it, but some psycho tried to take it over with a tank, attacking the prison, destroying it in the process, and vanishing Rick’s community from there. At some point there were like forty people living in it, and in front of you is what was left.

A haunting thought

They were seeing if there was any chance someone else might still be out there, and they got to the conclusion there wasn’t, well, except for… Beth

She was Maggie’s younger sister and she was taken, when she was Daryl before you met him, before the thing with the claimers.

“New here too, right?”, asked Tara, you smiled and nodded, “I just met Rick, MIchonne and Carl a couple of days ago, after they escaped the prison, how about you?”, you asked her

“I was part of the group that took the prison”, she said with a horrid expression on her face. 

“Oh”, you didn’t know what to say

“Our leader lied to us, made us do it”, she said shortly. One thing you’d learn in the apocalypse, is that is was like it was in prison, you heard very few stories, and shorter ones, nobody liked to talk about “before”

You also had a good story to tell, but… alas… nobody asked you either.

“We should get going”, said Rick

“Where are we going?”, you asked softly. He looked back at you, he didn’t have a plan, neither of you did.

“For now we keep walking until we can find someone to lay low, regroup, replenish our strength”, he said, and you nodded, that sounded like a great plan, you only hoped this place existed.

You noticed something else too, Daryl was always hanging back, measuring, watching, his crossbow always ready to release. He often walked away from the group in thought, just to come back a few hours later while you walked. 

The night came quicker than you expected and to your surprise, Daryl came in with dead squirrels for dinner.

You had never eaten squirrels before.

It was… tasty, tasted like chicken. After he set a fire and cooked them himself. You always felt his eyes on you, when you looked back he seemed to be analyzing you, testing you, as you tried the squirrel and then ate it.

“Good enough for ya’?”, he asked as he munched on his

“it’s great”, you said, of course at first you were not convinced.

You couldn’t hunt for shit, and in that period when you were alone you saw some gray days, but you always managed. You had eaten so many expired canned things you were pleasantly surprised that you haven't gotten poisoned yet.

You took turns to sleep, there were fifteen of you, so you took turns. You realized that in the -adult- close circle, those being Michone, Rick, Carol, Daryl, Maggie and Glenn divided themselves into the five groups to take guards, they didn’t trust you, or the trio, or Tara more, but you understood it.

You were just almost eaten by humans who promised you sanctuary 

Daryl kept watch with you like at three AM, and also Abraham, who wouldn’t let Eugene do anything of substance.

“What did you both do before all of this?”, he asked, which wasn’t fair, it was clear what he did. You looked at Daryl who didn’t answer

“Does it really matter?”, you asked

“Hell yeah”

“What I can tell you is that I didn’t do anything special”, you said simply, “nothing that could have helped me survive this anyways”, you said quietly, but you still felt both gazes on to you, “I’m a designer mayor”, you concluded, “just finished my masters when the crap hit the fan”

“You don’t sound like you’re from around here”, he said

“I’m not”, you said, but you were not willing to answer anymore and he seemed to understand it. 

“And what about you?”, he asked Daryl in turn, you looked back at him expectantly, but he only mumbled something under his breath

“It doesn’t matter now, does it?”, you asked, “we are all different people now, and it’s not like we need CV’s”, you said softly. 

“We are going to fix this”, he said, all convinced

“That’s just bullshit man”, muttered Daryl. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, you really didn’t. A scientist that could stop this? on their way to DC with these militars? that sounded so, so strange, but again, this had become a strange world

“I can use some people like you in the team”, he said, looking at you both. Daryl just shook his head

“You said you are going to DC?”, you asked, he nodded, “how do you know someone is there still?”, finding people that had a similar plan to yours was… endearing, maybe you weren’t so wrong after all.

“Well, we did lose contact a few weeks back, but there were still people there”, he said, “the last ones standing”. Someone created this virus, you were sure of it, and as easier someone could change this back, this was a virus, you really did hope there was a way back.

Although things were irreparable now. But at least, people didn’t have to keep coming back to life as flesh-eating monsters, and furthermore, people didn’t have to keep being eaten. 

“You too”, encouraged Abraham, you raised your eyes from the fire to look at him

“Why me?”, you asked him

“I saw you wielding that ax”, he said nodding proudly, you weren’t better with an ax that Daryl was with a bow, “you both should be there when we save the world”, Daryl only chuckled, mockingly, and then stood up to go for a walk around the camp. You both joined him, because you didn’t want to have another “claimers” situation, one where the group sneaked past your round, so you went in all different directions. 

“You’re with me”, muttered Daryl, you just walked towards him silently, and submerged yourself into the woods. 

The moon helped you, also, the sky was clear so you could see once you adjusted your eyesight. You watched where you were going, last time you tripped he snapped at you, when you were slow he also snapped at you.

You got it, he was this tough, tracker, hunter guy, but still, he seemed to be always looming over you,watching your every move

You didn’t care, something made you want to please him, to prove yourself worthy to him, you didn’t know what it was.

You are focused so much in your “quickness” and being fast that you didn’t watched much when you were going, especially since it was pitch black, you tripped and fell on your face, and you would have been embarrassed, if it wasn’t because you didn’t trip because of a branch or something, something grabbed you. 

You heard the growls and you knew you were fucked, truly fucked 

“Ah!”, you screamed when you kicked and hit the walker in its face, you turned around and you could barely see the silhouette. You grabbed your ax but you were so afraid to hit yourself, it lodged in what it seemed to be it’s shoulder

You saw and heard its mouth snapping open, he was going to get you, his boney body over your other leg, not allowing you to kick him

And then, an arrow lodged itself in the middle of its forehead, stopping his movements at once.

“It’s a wonder you haven’t been killed ye”, he mumbled, coming to you, grabbing the arrow from its head, and grabbing you, getting you on your feet, “did he get ya?”, you grabbed onto him, shaking your head

“Thank you”, you said, trying to hold on into his thick arm, as you took foot on solid ground

“Be more careful will ya?”, he asked and walked away from you, releasing his hold on you. 

“Sorry”, you said, catching up to him, “thank you I thought it was gonna get me”, you were shaken up, you felt your heart thundering. He didn’t say anything as he kept walking forwards, you walked stuck to his side, creeped out of your mind. Soon your round was over and you came back to the bonfire.

You didn’t understand why Daryl was so angry at you all the time. And furthermore you didn’t understand why he was hovering over you, as he sat right by your side, and slept right by you too. He wouldn’t stop checking where you were or what you were doing, you didn’t understand at all. You stole a glance at him and saw him staring into the fire. He had some beautiful eyes… the bastard, and underneath all that wild hair… he was sort of handsome, in a… special, wild way.

He caught you staring so you looked away quickly, and soon, you woke the others up and it was your time to rest. 

. . .

The next night found you in the church of the priest you saved from three walkers. He gave you the creeps. You believed yourself to be a good judge of character and you did not like him at all, but you needed sanctuary, food, water and a plan, so you should be fine there for a couple of weeks. If Rick trusted him, so could you, besides, there was fifteen of you, and one of him.

There you had more time to get acquainted with the rest of the group. You’d learn that baby Judith was a badass, and super quiet for a baby. She was such a cute little baby. 

You’d learned so many things from the rest of the group, how Tyresse was certainly the most intimidating-looking but a gentle giant, Bob was… odd. Carol was very reserved and if Daryl gave you judging looks he’s got nothing on her. She barely even talked to you.

Eugene was a bit of a weirdo, he was, he tried to “came onto you” multiple times and you’d reject his lewd advances quickly, and Abraham and Rosita would laugh at him. It was sort of comical, he was lacking very esencial social skills. But Abraham, Eugene and a couple of more were hellbent on fixing a broken church bus to get them to DC, and the rest of you were just trying to get supplies to keep going, or figure out what to do next.

You were not impressed by the town or its surroundings, but you were asked by Rick to stay near the church with Carl, baby Judith and the others, and you did, happily.

As you had a time for yourself, you sat in one of the church’s benches and peeked at a map you had of Georgia and the surrounding states, of the plan you had made when you got out of Atlanta, of the island…

Rick sat by your side and peeked, you looked at him, he had baby Judith in his arms

“This would have come handy before”, he chided gently

“I forgot I had it, I thought it was in my backpack, but it was in one of the zippers in my jacket”, you explained softly, there was some scribbles in it, Rick read them

“What was this?”, he pointed at your “plan V”

“Plan Vacation Village”, you said, he chuckled, “it’s an island on Lake Lanier”, you said softly, he looked at you wide-eyed, “I thought to go seek refuge there, an island right? easy to protect”

“What happened?”, he asked

“Never found out”, you said sadly, “never got to”, he looked at you funny 

“This could work”, he said, “we should be close enough”

“I’m sure I’m not the only one who came to the same conclusion”, you said surely, “that islands were the safest way… it could backfire, there could be walkers trapped in there…besides, it’s big, very…”

“Maybe…”, he said. He looked ahead, at the group getting ready for dinner, “why won’t you go find Daryl and Carol? we can discuss this at dinner”, he said softly, you nodded. He treated you like you were a little girl sometimes, but… Carol and Daryl were in the watch team, they preferred it so. You walked outside and realized it was already night, pitch dark, you were going to tell Rick to fetch them yourself, you didn’t want to go at night, but there it was again, the need to prove yourself, so you went out there anyways.

You seemed to catch a glimpse of Daryl out there, so, you followed him, you didn’t want to call out for him, so you tried to move quickly. you ended up a few yards away from the church when you catched him, he was with Carol. 

“... you seemed pretty cozy with her last night… the new girl”, said Carol teasingly

“She is just another dead girl”

“Rick wants us for dinner”, you said, they both froze and looked back at you, and you cursed yourself because your voice broke in the last second

They looked back at you wide-eyed

“I walk pretty stealthy for a dead girl”, you said bitterly

They were going to answer, but the three of you almost ducked when you heard an engine, a car, it passed right by you, it was black, Daryl went out of his way to catch a glimpse of it, and when he did, he was quick to grab the bow and smashed the back lights of the car they were preparing

“What are you doing!?”, asked Carol 

“That’s the car that took Beth!”, he said quickly, “get in! Both of you!”, he said, and wouldn’t take no for an answer 

“What?”, you asked, but they both jumped in, and rather than being out here alone, with a sigh, you jumped into the car too. 

You grabbed your bag, with your essentials for a couple of days. 

It had been hectic, a couple of days of planning, a big map of DC, thorough planning of entrances and exits, of a plan A, B, C, you believed you managed to get to a plan M. Rick, Abraham and Rosita had given total control of the mission, letting you choose even which car to take out there, and the provisions, and of course, you consulted in them too, in all of the decisions.

Soon the night before the trip came, and you were nervous, but in a good way, in an excited way, you checked the map one more time while you were in bed, preparing mentally for everything to be disastrous, to be empty, to be destroyed, ravaged and pillaged, to not finding anything but walkers… but at the same time, you were hopeful.

Deanna had told you that she had sent a couple of people into DC, but they never got too close to the city center. 

You got startled when you felt a knock on the door, you hid the map as if you were a little kid with something you shouldn’t be, as you indicated quickly that the person who knocked could come in.

You were surprised to see Daryl there, after a week of stalking him at night time, tonight you decided to let him be, especially since tomorrow you were going to leave, and also, you didn’t want to pressure him.

“Hey”, he greeted

“Hey”, you whispered back, with a soft smile, “you went out there again?”, you asked, honestly since yesterday, when you encountered him outside the pantry, you haven't seen him much.

“Nah, I was fixing my bike”. he said, “Rick told us to stop looking fo people for a while”

“Oh”, that was news to you, ever since the dispute on the morning before his trial you had been distant with the leader of your group. Even though he seemed like his good old self the moment you asked him about going to Washington. You needed to get close with Rick again.

“What were you up to?”, he asked, seeming uncomfortable, you’d ask him to come in, but you didn’t want to scare him

“Readin”, you answered simply.

“Didn’t see you today”, he leaned against the doorframe, looking at you

“Sorry, my head was elsewhere”, you mumbled. “Did you manage to fix your bike?”, it was a  strained conversation, you could feel it. Weird too.

“Yeah”, he whispered. “Is everythin’ alright?”, he asked, and it killed you to see that glint of hope in his eyes

“Yeah”, you assured him, “it is”

“Don’t seem like it”, he mumbled

“Well, my boyfriend, or at least, who I consider my boyfriend won’t sleep with me… so I wanted to give him some space”, you explained calmly. Then you thought better of it, maybe it was too early to call him that, you felt like an idiot doing so… but something got lost in translation. What were you two anyways? is not like you were friends with benefits or crap like that…

“I am your boyfriend now?”, he mocked, lightheartedly 

“Yes you are right, it sounds childish, from now on, I’ll refer to you as my man-friend”, you said with a cheeky smile. He chuckled darkly, scratching his neck. He looked around your room, finally stepping inside. 

“Can I… stay here?”, he asked, you smiled and nodded enthusiastically

“Of course”, you said, opening his bed more for him to join you. You had become excited. He got into the bed, clothes and all. Did he even have pajamas? you had found some in the clothes the Alexandrians had given you, soft cotton, with long sleeves and legs, nothing too fancy. You made a mental note to get him some comfortable ones, he could use when he stayed in your room, or wherever.

A thing you found odd, but quite endearing when you started joining Daryl at nights… was that you seemed to fit well together all the time. Back then you barely knew each other and yet, you seemed to be made to cuddle each other. You felt your cheeks heated at the thought, and your hands a bit sweaty. 

“What were you readin?”, he asked

“Deanna gave some of Reg’s books, I found a book of poems by an artist I loved”, you said with a soft smile. He cuddled into you, and you left the poems of William Morris aside.

“Keep readin”, he begged

“It’s in my mother tongue”, you warned

“Mmmm read woman, so I can learn”, he said simply, “can’t have my girlfriend cussing me out without me knowin”, you chuckled

“You called me your girlfriend”, you giggled. He chuckled, passing an arm over your torso, hugging you, and squeezed at your teasing. You laughed harder.

“Wanna talk about it?”, you asked softly, you didn’t know how to approach him, you wanted him to tell you things, what was on his mind, you found yourself wishing you could go inside his head sometimes.. 

“Read”’, he requested softly, his head on the crook of your neck. 

Now you certainly felt guilty… For not telling him anything about the trip, but now you didn’t want to spoil the mood, so… you always had till the last minute tomorrow…

. . .

You woke up alone, which saddened you, but perhaps it was for the best… So you got up, took a long shower and got dressed. 

So now the day had finally come and you were… extremely excited. more so than being nervous, you took it as a great sign. The plans were laid down, everything was looking good, the sun was shining. You took a deep breath into the day and started walking towards the truck you had picked.  You heard behind you some hurried steps, so you turned around to meet Daryl, who looked absolutely annoyed. 

“Why did ya’ tell me?”, he asked angrily when he saw you, you sighed, “Rick told me, ya’ going to DC, he thought I knew”

“It’s nothing personal”, you said, you resume your walk, as he started walking by your side

“Feel like it is”, he said

“It’s not”, you assured him, he grabbed you by the arm softly

“Why didn’t ya tell me?”, he insisted

“I thought you were busy… with Aaron, you are the new recruiter and all”

“Don't gimme that shit”, he said, you stopped to look at him

“I want to get out there again, I’m growing roots already”, you said, “and DC is right there, we might find something good”, but you weren’t answering his question, “for some reason, every time I want to go out there, you find reasons to keep me here”, you accused, “you are out there with Aaron, he needs you, and I’m… here”, you finished 

“I wanna keep ya safe!”, he said

“Don’t you think I want to keep YOU safe?”, you asked, “but I know… I can’t just chain you to the inside of the walls here, you go out there, every damn day, and I just have to sit and pray…”

“You pray?”, he asked, you shook your head

“Now you will have to do the same, have faith…”, you finished softly. 

“You don’t want me to come”, he said, “that’s what you are saying”, he said childishly. 

“No…”, you said softly. 

“Then I’ll go”

“There is no need”, you insisted

“Aaron can keep ‘mself from goin’ out ‘ere for a couple of days”

You didn’t even know why you were being this childish. You wanted to get out there, and DC was right there, the part that confused you, is why you didn’t want Daryl to come with you, you purposefully didn’t tell him, and now you were keeping him from going

You liked him, you liked having him around, you liked kissing him, but… you felt like you needed to do this, and if he was there… you were going to be nervous, you were going to be more worried about him, -not that he needed to be cared for though-, more than doing what you wanted to do, more than finding what you were looking for

And more than that… you wanted to test it, to spend a few days away, what will happen to him, to you, to what this was between you. You needed a few days to think, to gain perspective

But he was not going to let you go without him, looks like it.

“Why do you want to go?”, you asked, “it's a huge city, we might be going into a huge trap”

“Why do you wanna go?”, he asked then

“I want to make a big supply run, and not only supplies, but… maybe… intel run, maybe we find someone out there”

“Wha’ like the president?”, he mocked

“Or like a fucking army”, you said then, “scientists…”

“I’ll go with you”, you shook your head

“You need to be here, with our people”

“Why?”

“They might need you”, you said, “Rick… I’m taking Abraham and Rosita… a lot of firepower…”

“M’sure Glenn will stay”, he said

“I need you to stay”, you said more firmly, “I think if we both go and don’t make it, the group will fall apart”

“I dun’ want ya’ to get killed out ‘ere!”, he said, exasperated

“I won’t!”, you assured him

“I dun give a damn what happens here if you ain’t here!”, he said, exasperated, he actually surprised you with that, “M’goin”

“Daryl”

“(y/n)”, he called back. You shared looks, “I’m goin”, he said, and you barely nodded

“Fine”, you snapped

“Fine”, he echoed 

“But don’t you ever try to stop me from doing something, alright?”, you warned, “And I’m leading this mission!”,

“Fine”, he repeated

“Fine!”, you said, and you walked away from here. “Get your things!”, you said, you turned to see Rick and Tyresse watching the scene, with smiles on their faces, “traitor!”, you accused Rick, pointing at him with your finger

“If he goes, I’ll be calmer”, he said, his hands on his belt. 

You then met Abraham and Rosita

“Daryl is joining us”, you said with a forced smile. It was supposed to be Glenn, but now you realized they all had been plotting against you.

He joined you soon after, only carrying his crossbow and a crossed bag. 

“I’m the leader of this mission”, you said to the group, but specially to Daryl, “as such you’ll have to do as I say”

“Yes Ma’am”, he drawled, with an amused look on his face. 

“As Rosita and Abraham will know by now, I will hear opinions and ask for advice”, you said, you didn’t want to come out bossy, BUT… you needed to lead, that is what this was all about, sort of. A weak leader was one of the most dangerous things, especially in missions like this.

You stood in front of the truck and you opened the map you had procured.

“We go in one car, hoping to bring in more”, you said, “as we discussed, we take the 95 that will merge into the 1, in the first step in our mission… the pentagon”

“WHAT?”, asked Daryl, you looked at him with a warning in your eyes, and he raised his hands in surrender. It did sounded like a movie, but… that was the center of intelligence, there must be something there. 

“Then we cross the Potomac right to the center, if the war against the dead developed similarly as the other cities we have seen… we will find rest of the military there we can scavenge”, you said, “then into the CDC”, you said drawing into the map, “for the second item of this mission, intel…”, you said, “and for the third and fourth items… supplies and medicine, amongst the ten block radio around the monuments we will find three shopping malls and others, of course, I expect them to be completely scavenged by this point, so for that… in comes the plan B, we cross Anacosita river, into the Joint Base Andrews, see what we can find there, around, are some good neighborhoods we can scavenge in case we don’t have anything by then… ”

“Fine”, mumbled Daryl, seemingly impressed.

“Then from there we take the 495 back home”, you said triumphantly. “Let’s go”, you announced, Rick had sneaked in, hearing the entire conversation.

He hugged you, surprising you

“Come back”, he whispered in your ear, you nodded

“I will”, you assured him.

“You have 96 hours”, said Rick, “if you’re not back by then, we will go looking for you”

“Fine”, you said, smiling softly.

You said your goodbyes, all of your group was there, and even Deanna. Oh you really hoped you were right with this hunch. That you were not leading them into your untimely deaths. 

That’s why it needed to go well.

You checked your gun for the tenth time, and the magazine was full, you sharpened your ax, you had a first aid kit on you, in your backpack, all the things you could need…

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine”, said Rosita, “we trust you”, she said and you smiled nervously at her

You were dying to drive, but you let Abraham do it instead, you were delegating, that’s what leaders do, Rosita rode shotgun, and you and Daryl in the back.

You felt his gaze on you, so you preferred to watch the map obsessively, and then the outside. It was a nice day, sunny, but not hot, comfortable. You took a long breath.

Were you leading your family to their deaths?

“I was actually in Washington in the 90’s”, said Abraham, “I remember it as it was yesterday”

“Did you?”, you asked.

“Yes, I have a good layout of the city right up here in my coconut”, you all laughed 

“Good to know”, you laughed. And you knew he was trying to relax you.

Yes, uncharted territory. Washington was a big city, furthest from the top ten of most populated cities in the US, but still. And it was evacuated… this could be a “gold mine”, as it where….the answer to many of your problems. 

You felt Daryl’s gaze on you, so you returned the stare. You knew you had hurt him, by keeping this from him, you had to make it right.

“I’m sorry for not telling you”, you whispered, he only hummed, “I knew you were going to try and keep me there”

“S’fine”, he mumbled

“No it’s not, I lied to you”, you said, “and I’m sorry”. you meant it, he looked at you right in the eyes and nodded

“S’ok”, he said with a nod, you grabbed his hand, he interlocked his finger with yours and he squeezed gently. 

You were glad you had him with you right now, you didn't know what you were thinking, not telling him about this, not wanting him to come. 

. . .

It was like in the movies.

As you got out of the truck and looked over the government building. The center of intelligence of the US. The pentagon. It was huge, but empty, even though, it looked in perfect condition. not a single window was broken. 

Everything was like they just left the day before, as you entered slowly. It had been evacuated… promptly. A lot of offices… you didn't know what you expected of the building. 

“Its the second largest office building in the world”, said Abraham proudly, as you sneaked inside.

Again, you didn't know what you expected, if moats and secret passages, but it looked like a normal building, an office building, like five buildings one inside of another. this kind of intel, what was the government doing in certain years, was not going to help you know… 

This thing was like a maze, and it was dangerously quiet, not a walker on sight, and -if that made any sense-, made it even scarier. As you went into offices, you noticed all the file cabinets were empty, nor a paper on sight…

You made the call of not splitting, yes you were going to take four times as longer, but that was the call you had made, you weren’t splitting, so you went trough the offices more thoroughly and faster too.

You remembered every action movie you had seen, so, only looking under desks you had gathered a good number of loaded handguns. 

So far, so good. You went into the same side of the building, through six different buildings towards the center, and you managed to gaze upon the main courtyard, you saw it.

“So that’s what they did with all the intel”, muttered Abraham. it was all burnt to the very ground, was used to be a nice yard, you’d imagine, it was all burnt. as were the millions of documents that used to be in the offices.

“I guess even after all that, after the dead rose from their graves, they had priorities”, you mumbled. 

“Let’s find the defense secretary offices”, mumbled Abraham. 

You found a shit ton of handguns, but nothing more of interest, except for a bending machine with pretty much untouched candy, your favorite. You bagged those pretty quickly. 

You felt Daryl’s presence always behind you or on your side, but he didn't question any decision you made and you were grateful, you were becoming more excited as you advanced through the building. 

“So… what's the move, boss?”, asked Abraham, as you started to wander through the huntingly similar hallways.

“We have more handguns than people in Alexandria”, you said with your heavy bag on your back. “Let’s move on to the city center”, you said softly, “before it gets dark, I don’t want to be trapped inside here with no power and no light”. You said quickly. Then you looked at their determined faces, “is that alright?”, you asked then, doubting your own decision. 

“Yes”, said Rosita, and you got into a defensive position, walking back towards the entrance of the building, having scouted two sides of it, although you had come across places you couldn’t access due to lack of power and access cards. 

You couldn’t deny you were excited to be in the capital, you had sneaked into one of the coolest buildings in the US, but you were so on survival mode that you forgot to be hyped about it. 

“Don’t be afraid to boss us around”, said Abraham, placing one of his hands on your shoulder as you were walking out, he was as entertained as you, “we signed up for this”, you nodded, convinced. 

“Than you”

“You are making good calls”, he said with a nod

“Don’t say that yet”, you mumbled. 

You took a couple of walkers that were coming for you from the parking lot, and you got into the truck again.

Abraham tossed you the keys

“Your turn boss”, he said, chuckling, and Rosita got up in the back seats, and you and Daryl on the front. You took a long breath. It's been a while since you hadn't driven. But it was like riding a bike, you never forget it. 

You were invigorated by the success so far, so you started the truck.

“It’s a stick”, mumbled Daryl by your side, doubting your skills

“So it is”, it ran without trouble. as you put the truck in motion in 1st, and then 2nd. Daryl seemed impressed. “What?”, you teased, “I know how to drive stick”, he just smiled at you. “Lead me please”

“Yes Ma’am”, he said, opening the map. 

The roads were mostly intact, so far, as were the big bridges that went over the Potomac river. This city hasn't been bombed like Atlanta had, and it was mostly intact from what you could see, just inhabited.

The Washington monument stood tall, you were embarrassed to admit you got distracted watching it and almost ran over a walker and you got out of the way.

“Ups”, you mumbled. As Daryl chuckled. You had not trouble running over a dead one, BUT, it could jeopardize the truck, it could break it, so you did not intend on doing that if you had the road space to fo around it, “Sorry about that”.

“Can’t believe we’re here after all this time”, said Rosita with a big smile.

“It’s surreal”, you whispered. You felt something strange, in the truck you meant. “Does this thing have 4-wheel drive?”, you asked Abraha,, who just chuckled

“Don’t think so”, it was an old truck. But you felt it heavy… You looked through the rearview mirror to the back of the truck where your bags where, but you knew for a fact, that even with the guns, you didn’t bring anything heavy-er… and when you saw something move back there, you hit the brakes so hard you learned like three new curse words in spanish

“WHAT THE HELL?”, asked Daryl, who might as well have crashed into the console.

“You got ourselves a stowaway”, you grunted. 

You took your gun and your ax and jumped out of the truck after opening the door and that is what got them all in alert, jumping out too. You were still over the bridge. the coast was clear,

You grabbed the thick tarp made of cloth you had to cover your things, and there he was, trembling in fear

“Eugene!?”, asked Rosita.

“Hey”, he muttered

“Damn”, muttered Abraham, then he looked at you, “how did you know?”, he asked, you just smiled

“Eugene why didn’t you tell us?”, asked Daryl, helping him out of the back of the truck

“It was a last minute call and I didn’t want you to change plans, and I thought if I did this… and you wouldn’t notice… it would be safer”

“That makes no sense”, you said, “you should have told us”

“He has a point”, muttered Rosita, and she did, this was planned for four, not five, you should have taken another car.

“I want it to see it”, he said, pointing at the monument, “but I also wanted Daryl to come and protect us”, he said, you frowned, “so he could protect you while Rosita and Abraham protect me”, he said straight to you

“I am really in the “I need protection” team?”, you asked, that insulted you a bit. You thought you were holding your ground, and not in the ”weaker” part of the team.

“No you are not!”, said Rosita, who had been giving you lessons in hand to hand combat.

“Fine, I’m sorry”, as a leader you needed to learn to make decisions when situations like this presented themselves.

“Abraham?”, you called, “Ride in the back, with our biggest gun, that view will alert us if something is strange, watch out for snipers”, you told him, in a very professional manner

“Yes Ma’am”, he said, climbing into the back

“Remember our code in the RV?”, you asked him, “two taps for slowing down, three taps for stopping, one long one to watch out”

“Indeed”, he said. You then turned to Eugene

“Well, like I said, too many times already, you are under my command”, you said Eugene and he nodded quickly, “and under my protection”, he opened his eyes widely, “let’s go, before it gets dark we need to find a safe place to spend the night”, you said surely. 

And, with a slight change of plans, you entered the very center of Washington DC.

With no idea what waited for you there. 

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You were following that car well into the night and far from the church, to your counts, you were heading south, back to Atlanta, and the car was painfully familiar to you.

“Where do you think it’s going?”, asked Carol

“Back to Atlanta”, you answered quietly, you were in the backseat, and they both were in the front

“How do you know?”, she asked

“I have seen it before, the symbol”, you said, Daryl looked back at you for a second

“They took one of us”, he said, “Beth”

“Right”, you mumbled, “they tried to take one of mine a while ago”, you said quietly, but you didn’t say anything else

“You have known this whole time?”, asked 

“What?”, you asked back, “I didn’t know you were looking for them”

“Who are they?”, Carol asked

“Grady Memorial hospital”, you said

“How do you know that?”, Carol asked, you only looked back at her, not willing to answer. 

“That’s the only thing I know, this guys dressed as cops were “rescuing” people, take them back to the hospital where they are treated”, you said shortly, “that’s all I know”

In a couple of hours you were back into the city, following that car in a reasonable distance so it won’t see you. When it suddenly stopped, you stopped as well, turning off the car so it won’t hear you. You saw a cop coming out of the car, checking something, and then getting inside again. You tried to turn on the car, but it wouldn’t.

You had ran out of fuel

You looked outside and the neighborhood looked painfully familiar

“Let’s go, I have a place we can go near here”, you said quickly, getting out of the car. 

There were a few silent seconds in which you couldn’t hear anything near you, not walkers, or anything else, you were safe for now. You looked up and you could see the entire night sky, it was a clear night, and without all the city lights contaminating, it helped you see somewhat clearly.  

Then they got out of the car, interrupting the small peace that lasted barely seconds, and the three of you started walking into the night.

This might be a bad idea, in case you met them again, in case they were there. 

“Where are’ we goin”, asked Daryl catching up to you

“A safehouse, if you will”, you said simply.

A fairly new office building, it was small, five floors, four offices per floor, but it was walker proof, as you had blown up all the first floor, leaving on the the pillars and foundations, so no walker could linger, as it was an open space, only a fire escape ladder leading to the second floor. 

It looked more abandoned than the last time you saw it. Which was a scary thought

“What is this place?”, asked Carol, but you didn’t answer, you only started climbing. When you reached the top, into a metal railing balcony, you grabbed a rope that was hanging by the metal door and pulled. It was a bell, signaling to those inside that someone of the team was coming in, and you waited several minutes, as Daryl and Carol stood by your side, but nobody came. Confirming your suspicions.

The door hasn't been open in weeks, that much you could tell when you opened it. revealing the space inside. It was all empty, but that didn’t surprise you. you walked to the only closed door and opened it, revealing a stair to the third floor, and that is where the fun started.

It was a similar space then the first, but this one wasn’t empty. The first room was a made-up kitchen, a conference room you used as a dining room, another room where you stored your goods, food goods, and the fourth was a small armory that, even back then, was a bit empty. 

Daryl and Carol watched everything with careful eyes, as you meanwhile were coming down with the sense that nobody has been here in weeks, judging by the moldy can of beans on the table in the kitchen.

They were probably dead, you guessed, with a lump in your throat.

“Please eat, whatever you want”, there was a nice bounty there. And they dive in with no need for a second offer.

Your stomach was in knots.

You heard a noise upstairs, making you three flinch and hold onto whatever you had in your holsters in your belts.

You signaled them to stop, as you were going to check the sound yourself. You went up another flight of stairs, feeling the sound, it was coming from the bathroom. 

As soon as you step foot into the hall between the rooms, you heard it, clear as day

A deep, guttural growl was inside the bathroom, and your eyes adjusted to the night as you read the dreadful letters written in blood in the 

I’M SORRY

“No, no, no, no”, you whispered.

Yes you have come to terms with the fact that they might be dead, but to actually be witness to it, was a completely different thing.

You were shaking as tears started falling, you knew who it was, you’d recognize the letters anywhere. 

You felt your legs falter, due to fatigue, hunger, tiredness. You fell to the floor, managing to place your back against the door 

You hugged your legs as you sobbed uncontrollably, you heard the grunts and moans, and the hits against the door and you cried even louder. You heard steps coming your way and Daryl appeared, crossbow drawn, ready to launch. 

“Move”, he commanded

“No!”, you said, standing up quickly, “Don’t you dare!”, you said, looking at Daryl pointing the crossbow at the door, “I will do it”, you said surely, he didn’t let up, but took a step back, you grabbed your knife hidden in your boot.

Tears still tainting your cheek, you opened the door and the walker, one that had been your friend, launched at you. He had been a big man, so you had trouble, more to the fact that he was mainly “complete”, you had trouble grabbing him, placing your forearm on his chest keeping his head away from you.

Looking into those dead eyes almost made you fail, but you stabbed your knife as deeply as you could at the side of his head.

It immediately stopped moving, falling to the floor.

He didn’t look like him, you thought, as looked down at him, he didn’t, but… at the same time, it was him, there was no doubt.

Daryl looked at him

“He got bitten, didn’t have it in him to finish himself off”, he said, a big chunk of his leg was missing.

He had been bitten out there, he was alone, you guessed, and he came back here, infected, feverish, and locked himself in the bathroom. You looked inside, there was dried blood on the tub, and a gun, his gun.

He couldn’t do it. He died alone, and in pain, in this bathroom

Where was the other member of your team?, you wondered

You went to his room and grabbed the sheets covering his made up bed, and placed in on top of his body on the hall

“Ya’ should eat somethin”, the archer murmured quietly. You barely nodded, wiping the tears that were still falling silently.

It was silly in normal circumstances you would refuse anything that had to do with food right now, but you were starving, you missed the small feast the group had prepared back in the church, and the only thing yo

Gods you didn’t even let Rick know where you had gone, they were probably looking for you all.

There was an awkward silence between you and the archer, you were just looking down at your friend, you couldn’t leave him here, you just couldn’t. 

“Did ya’ know em?”, he asked gently, you barely nodded. 

“You should get something to eat”, you said to him, you needed to grab him, take him to the roof. You tried, but there was no way that you could take him up there yourself.

“Let me help ya”, he said, and between the both of you, you grabbed him. It was tricky, to go up two flights of stairs, but you did. 

Up there you had a wooden table and a couple of chairs, for when you had a moment at night, you’d sit up here, and eat, or chat, or whatever.

You placed him over the table. tomorrow, you were going to figure out what to do, how he’d like to go out.

You barely nodded at Daryl, who wouldn’t stop watching you like a hawk.

“Thank you”, you muttered, and then you both went back downstairs.

Carol looked at you sharply when you returned to the third floor. You just grabbed a can of noodles, and ate them up in a record speed.

“What is this place?”, she asked, again, as she had no answer of you

“I hold up here with a group for a couple of months”, you said

“This is like an operational base”, she said again, you do had to admit this was steps further from a simple “Warehouse” of civilians, but you had been trained by an army man, so.

You did not want to share, not like this.

“We had an army man with us”, you said simply, as you found a bottle of water, and a juice powder, which you happily put into the water, it’s been so long and you were a fan of it. You drank it so quickly it made your stomach hurt. 

“Take any room you want”, you said, “as you can see, it’s pretty safe here, but you can make shifts if you want, or whatever. You muttered, suddenly drained of energy. You went up to the room you occupied when you lived here. And finally felt safe, and at peace, and you fell into a dreamless sleep.

You woke up when there was a beautiful pink light in the horizon, signaling for the new day. 

You used the upstairs bathroom, there was still water inside the tank, to clean your face. You ate breakfast, just as you heard both of them moving around upstairs. 

You searched under the sink in the kitchen for the secret stash, you found an old bottle of whiskey which, in the normal world, would be more expensive than a car. You went up to the roof, Pope was there where you left him, Pope, it was funny, he was a christian, or catholic rather, so you’d mock him, calling him that. 

A soft wind picked up, raising the sheet from his body, you shook your head, trying to fix it. You searched his pockets, finding his trusted lighter, and his bible, which you grabbed from him. 

“We need to keep moving”, Daryl said behind you as you were fixing his clothes. 

“Then go”, you said quietly, as you were wrapping him as best you could, “I don’t want you or need you here, I’m not leaving him”

“He’s dead!”, he said, raising his tone, “do you want us to leave you and be alone again?”

“I have to do this”, you said defiantly, “I left him once I’m not gonna do it again”, he heard him huff and whisper something under his breath, but you wouldn’t listen. He didn’t leave though, he gave you your space, standing by the door, and waited for you. 

You resumed your work, wrapping your friend more properly.

Once you were done, you poured the whiskey all over him, after taking a sip, you needed courage. Once he was soaked in it, you grabbed his bible. 

“Ya’ catholic?”, he asked softly behind you.

“He was”, you said, as you searched for his favorite passage, he would often read it, at night, when he thought nobody could listen to him. But you did. The bible had been open so many times on those pages that you didn’t even have to look much. 

You finally found it, as you heard Carol joining you, but you shook your head, trying to concentrate as tears clouded your vision.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die…”, your voice broke a bit, and felt silly, people were watching you, so you swallowed it and kept going, “...a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace”, you recited, it was an odd time to end it, so you out down the book, and place it on his chest. 

“Your time here is over, my friend”, you said sadly, placing a hand on his chest, “I’ll see you on the other side”, you fired up the lighter and burned the sheet around him, it burned up like paper because of the whiskey, and soon the whole table was on fire. You watched it burn, counting to a hundred. 

You turned to the pair of them, who were looking at you with guilty eyes, but yours were dead now

“Now we can go”, you said, your voice breaking. Daryl didn’t say a word, but to your incredible surprise, he wrapped his arms around you, you hid your face on his chest, it lasted barely seconds, but it comforted you more that you could ever explain. When he released you, Carol placed a hand on your shoulder, and you three walked back downstairs, “we can do some recon, of where they have your friend, then we can come back here to spend the night again if you wish”, you said shortly.

“We should take what we can now, in case…”, Carol muttured red and you nodded. 

It had been raided, the armory at least, but you found a couple of handguns, and most important of it all, a silencer. You found arrows, for Daryl, and he seemed pleased when you handed them to him

Carol also refilled her chargers, and you took some for yourself, you couldn’t be wasting time recharging in the middle of a herd or being attacked.

“the rest of em’, ain’t them coming back ere?”, Daryl mumbled

“No, if he was here, alone, the other is gone”, you said shortly, “he won’t come back, not soon at least”, you said back, the lack of weapons and nothing else would tell you as much.

You looked at each other, all armed up, ready to go

“Let’s go find your friend”, you said shortly.

Walking down the street again was surreal, so many months ago you had left and never came back. You looked as far as you could, but the truck wasn’t there.

It was gone.

But it was a residential neighborhood, so you had no trouble finding a working car which still had a decent amount of gas in it.

You didn’t know what to do next, or what you should be expecting, you drove through the streets making sure to cross nobody in the same conditions.

You barely remembered where the hospital was, you truly haven't come across those people but once, when they tried to take one of yours after he got injured, you fought them of, he was fine, but they still believe they had this “authority” when they dressed as policemen, you didn’t know what was going on in that hellish place, nor you did want to find out.

Luckily Carol did remember where it was, so you stopped a couple of blocks away, and you got inside an office building, where you could have a better view.

It was unusually empty of walkers, they left, you thought, in search of warm bodies to feed on.

“There it is”, said Carol, pointing at the wing of the hospital that was part of your view

“”What do we do?”, ask Daryl, “coming rushing in?”

“I don’t think it’s the best idea”, you murmured, “we have the surprise factor but we have no idea what are we getting into”, you whispered

“We need to get Beth back”

“Why are you looking for Beth?”, the three of you jumped at the intrusion, you turned around quickly, arms in the air, to came face to face with a boy

“Ye’ know Beth?”, Daryl asked quickly

“Yes, the both of us were trapped in the hospital”, he said quickly, “she help me get out”

“We are Beth’s family”, said Carol, “we need to get her back”

“The thing’s a fortress”, he said, “men armed to the teeth, they have the numbers and the weapons”, he said

“We also have numbers and weapons”, muttered Daryl.

“Why you’d scape?”, you asked the boy

“What?”

“Why did you have to escape? Why were they holding you against your will?”, you asked then

“The place is run by this policewoman”, he said, “she’ll save you, but then makes you work, to pay them for their service”, you hummed, “they won’t let you leave because they believe there is nothing out there, it’s… weird”

“Can we dialogue with her?”, you asked then, if they were not going to ask anything, you were going to.

“I dunno”, he said. You sighed, you looked back at Carol and Daryl, who were looking back at you expectantly.

“We should go back and get the others”, Carol said decisively

“You sure?”, you asked, “this could escalate”, you muttered, “meaning, what are we gonna do, take hostages?”, you mocked, they shared looks, all of them, with the kid too, “No!”, you said

“There is no other way”, the kid said

“How did you escape? Is there a way you can sneak us back in?”, you asked

“There is no way in”, he said surely

“We’r gettin Rick”, said Daryl, “and your coming with us”, he said to the kid

“I’m Noah, by the way”, he said

“I’m Daryl”

“Carol”

“(y/n)”, you presented yourself. And you had a very strong feeling about this, something was going to be very wrong. 

Post chapter notes: sorry if this feels like a filler chapter, but again, I needed to tell part of reader’s story, another part is coming, it’s called “Exterminators Inc” which tells the story of reader’s past before she found Rick

Daryl didn’t release you until you were inside the house, and you were able to place your trembling feet on the wooden floor.

You saw it in their faces, nobody knew what to do with you, with this broken, injured you.

You haven’t even recuperated from your injuries of DC, and now you had more, and they were piling up

“You should go to the infirmary”, said Rick softly

“I think I want to take a bath first”, you said softly, they shared looks

“I’ll tell Denise to come to you, alright? in an hour, a special house call”, you smiled at him and nodded.

Rick called your name softly, and you catched yourself looking at nowhere, your eyesight unfocused on the wall

“What did he do to you?”, he asked, but he seemed to regret it as soon as he saw your face, “do you want to discuss it in private?”, he asked you both

“He didn’t… rape me”, you said slowly, and you heard Daryl take a deep breath, “he locked me up, fed me dogfood sandwiches, I had a knife on me so I tried to use it, so they came in like three guys and they beat me up a little”, you said, “and they burned me…”, you saw Rick whine, he rubbed his face with his hands, to then look at you with shiny eyes, he saw you trying to hide your forearm, and he grabbed it gently, taking the bandage softly, when they the brand on your skin, watching the burn mark, the initials, Rick took a deep breath, taking a few steps back and rubbing his face and hair back, pacing.

You watched Daryl as he looked at the initials in your skin, he shook his head, his eyes filled with tears. You could tell he had a hard time processing it, he didn’t want to believe it 

“I didn’t tell them, anything”, you said

“You should have”, Rick said desperately, grabbing onto your shoulders gently, “you should have spoken if that’s what kept you safe”

“They branded me because I refused to join them”, you said softly, “I refused to kneel and become a soldier or that guy’s wife”, you assured them, “they are like a cult, they run in complete and total loyalty to this guy Negan, he is like some sort of god”

“I’m gonna need you to tell me more”, said Rick, that’s when Daryl surrounded you with his arm

“Later man”, he demanded, Rick nodded

“Yeah, I’m sorry”, he said, he squeezed your shoulder softly and nodded.

Daryl led you downstairs, slowly, gently. 

He made you sit in the toilet while he drew you a bath, just like you had done for him that time. You hugged yourself, still in Abraham’s jacket 

He didn’t leave you, you didn’t think twice about it, he helped you take out your jacket, and shirt, he winced when he saw all the bruises, and he caressed gently each and every one of them.

You guessed he dared to do it because you hadn't rejected his touch, right now the only thing you wanted was his gentle hands on you, rather than everyone else’s

You took out your bottoms and then he helped you get in the tub, you moaned when you felt the hot water, just how you liked it, and it instantly soothes your aching body as you sit in it.

You watched as Daryl shed a couple of tears, as he saw the state you were in

“Please don’t”, you whispered, he shook his head, and finally looked at his face. “they just beat me up a little”, you muttered, “after they locked me up and i tried to stab them”, you whispered. You touched his face, “get in here with me”

“Nah, let me take care of ya”, he whispered, he grabbed a sponge, and he started to rub you gently, he cleaned your bullet wound that still had a couple of stitches, and then the rest of you.

One cold shower in seven days, the water ended up dark when you were done. He helped you get dried and dressed in your pajamas, is the only thing he had handy. 

When you resurfaced on the main floor, Denise was waiting for you with a shy smile and sad eyes.

You let her check you, every bruise, even the one in your head that was already healing

There was a particularly nasty bruise in your ribs, oh you remembered that particular kick

Tell us where your camp is bitch

“I want to rule out a concussion or internal bleeding”, she said, putting a little flashlight into your eyes, “have you vomited?”, you shook your head, “shortness of breath?”, you shook your head, “have you lost consciousness? Dizziness? abdominal pain? chest pain?”, this girl was reciting straight from a book, and Rick, Michonne and Daryl could see how uncomfortable you were becoming, you had indeed experienced most of those things, but because they beat you up. She checked your bruise some more, and then she sentenced that it was not an internal bleeding, just a bruise. But if I ever feel any of that myriad of symptoms I should go straight to her. 

She bandaged the burn mark, even if it wasn’t raw, you didn’t want to see it. She then took out the stitches of your almost healed bullet wound, she gave you some painkillers and demanded you stay here until at least the bruise in your ribs disappeared.

Then she left.

It was bananas to think that in the last week you had more medical checkups in the middle of the apocalypse than in your whole “normal” young adult life. You took a long breath, to distract yourself from those dumb thoughts. 

You were home now, you thought, as you looked around, you could relax, you could be safe, nobody was going to grab you, make you do things, burn you, lock you up.

You were back with your family, you were safe here.

You remembered all those times that Rick and Daryl told you to stay here, stay home, and you got angry, and now the only thing you wanted to do was to crawl into your bed and sleep for years.

“I know I have to… tell you what happened, what I know”, you offered softly, “but I just… want to sleep”, you whispered brokenly. Daryl shared looks with Rick and Michonne

“I’ll make you something to eat”, Michonne said, “you shouldn’t have those pills on empty stomach”, you barely nodded, and she served you some food, at this point, it was a little after noon, and you didn't know if they planned it, but nobody else showed up.

As you were eating rice with canned mushrooms, and sipping water, Rick couldn’t stop looking at you

“They want to see you”, he said softly, “but we told them to reign it in, that we were going to ask you”

“Who does?”, you asked back

“All of them”, he said with a soft smile, “so tonight, when you wake up from your nap”, he said gently. You’d like that, be with your family, all of them.

“Thank you”.

You ate everything up, Michonne even brought you some canned peaches, which you devoured, you took the pills with sips of water, and then Daryl guided you, you made a decision to go upstairs, even if you found Daryl’s room extremely comfortable, but, just the thought of being in a basement… just freaked you out. 

When the door closed behind you, and you were alone with him, you felt another wave of sadness/relief/rage crashing onto you like a tidal wave. 

“Hey, hey, what’s the matter?”, he asked, wiping your tears with his thumbs 

“When I was there… after a week I saw a guy… and he had your crossbow”, you sobbed and he caressed your face, “for a horrible second I thought they killed you, that you died, and I almost die right then too”, it got so bad, that you hiccuped into your sobs. 

“Nah”, he said, “ain’t nobody takin’ me out”, he said, “Not now that I have ya”, you sobbed as he hugged you tightly into his chest. “a couple found me in the woods that day, I tried to help them, they were runnin’ from the saviors, and they double crossed me, took my things”

I took it from a man that we encountered in the woods, he was alive when we left him

“I thought… “there is no way they took it from him while he was still alive”, you cried, “I thought the worst…”, he grabbed your face softly, making you look at him 

“Ain’t nobody takin’ me from you”, he repeated, “ya’ hear?, never, aint nobody takin’ you from me neither”

“Yeah”, you said then, smiling through the tears, “now I know, thanks for rescuing me”, you said with a soft smile, he only shook his head gently, with a smile on his face. You went to the bed and sneaked under the big comforter and the sheet. “Daryl…”, you called, he turned to you, “can you please… stay with me?”, you asked him

“M’never leavin ya”, he assured you, “not until ya get tired f’me and tell me to go to hell”

“That’s never going to happen Dixon so you better mean it”, you said softly. He laid by your side.

“Sleep, I’ll keep watch”, he whispered

“Promise to wake me up to relieve you?”, you asked childishly, as you always did when you slept next to him on runs

“Sure”, he said, understanding immediately.

“Wait… the good stuff Denise gave me are kicking in”, you moaned softly, “Mmmm this is goin’ to be a hell of a ride”, he chuckled as you surrendered yourself to a drug-induced sleep on Daryl’s chest.

Rick rubbed his face, tears threatening to come out, he left the house, after lunch, he needed to report to Deanna, who wanted to see you. 

“Is she alright?”, asked Carl, Rick had to almost tie him up so he couldn’t go with them to retrieve you.

“Yeah, she is good”, he said softly, “she needs some time”, he said softly, “she is with Daryl right now, but tonight we will all gather to make her feel better, alright?”, Carl nodded.

“Yeah, I got something I think she might like”, Rick smiled and placed his hand on his shoulder.

“That’s my boy”, Carl left him and Rick went up the few steps to Deanna’s house, and coming out of it, was Smith, who almost got face to face with Rick, Gary was following him closely

“Hey Rick”, he greeted

“Hey”, he said weirdly

“The boss lady was handing us a couple of jobs we have to do, being productive members of the community”, he said with a big smile

“Good, that’s… good”, he said. Rick didn’t know why, but like many other members of the group, he didn't like this guy at all.

“How is she?”, he asked, “big operation you did today”

“Yeah”, he said simply, “everything went well, ge got her back, those bastards… they… beat her up real nice, but… luckily, just that, so… she will be alright, she is with her… Daryl… right now”

“Oh good”, he said, and then he just walked away 

When he entered Deanna’s house, she jumped, she was truly nervous, and had a disturbing look in her eyes

“Is there something wrong?”, he asked, Spencer was there too, looking concerned, his arms crossed across his chest

“No, nothing to worry about”, said Spencer

“How is she, Rick?”, asked Deanna

“Everything went according to Alexander’s plan, he has proven to be, a great addition, no casualties, no nothing”, he said

“Because of her”, said Deanna, her knowing smile returning to her face, she walked towards him and grabbed his shoulders, “how is she?”, she echoed

“She broke down, as soon as she saw herself safe, she has cried, quite a lot, right now, she wants to be with Daryl, she had a bath, she is taking a long nap, Denise already checked her, give her some pain killers, she got beat up, but she managed to stay quiet about the location of Alexandria, so that’s great”

“I’m glad she is with Mr Dixon”, she said with a pleased smile, “those two, are my favorite couple”, she said with that sneaky smile, Rick chuckled

“Oh? how so?”

“Well, unpredictable, strong, a bit messy, colorful”, she said, “passionate”...”

“Alright”, chuckled Rick

Spencer was watching the scene, a bit relieved, but Rick could still see the trouble in his eyes.

“Deanna”, he called, “you know you can count on me for anything, right?”, he asked then, but he could not get nothing out of her

“Of course I do”, she said

“I saw Smith and Gary leaving”, he muttered, Deanna seemed even more troubled

“Yeah, I gave them both jobs”, she said, “anyways, I’d like to see her, when she is ready”

“She agreed to have a little get together later”, he said, “of course the both of you can go, I’m just worried, I don’t want her to do any favors, so, family only”, he said

“We will just come by to see how she is doing”, she said with a pleased smile.

Rick left the house with an uneasy feeling on his chest, he didn’t know what happened, and he didn’t like not knowing. 

Thanks to the drugs still lingering heavily in your system, you woke up slowly, calmly, the colors around in your room told you it was almost sunset, you felt groggy, but… better, in a sense, waking up and be completely aware of your surroundings was… calming

Daryl was looking at you, with a concerned look in his eyes

“Stop”, you whispered

“Wha’?”, he asked  

“Don’t look at me like that”, you whispered, he grabbed your face softly, making you look at him

“Like wha’?”

“With pity”, you answered 

“It ain’t pity’, he insisted, “I ain’t never felt more scared than the moment I thought you were gone”, he whispered, “I now I got you back, and I’m still cared”

“Why?”, you asked him. Then you realized it could be that he was afraid you had been… broken… damaged beyond repair. He didn’t say it, so you guessed you were right. “I’m here Daryl, I’m back, and I’m not going anywhere”, you said softly, “you did it, you got me back, I’m here”

“I want to kill that son’bitch”, he said, “I wanted to kill him right then and there”, as would that be the reason he was scared of losing you, that you’d be scared of him, of his “murdering” instincts

“I could have killed them, that day, but I aimed for their legs… I…. didn’t”, you whispered, “I just wanted them to fuck off, I never thought…”

“You didn't want to kill people, that don’t make you weak or nothin”, he said

“Well and you wanting to kill them doesn’t make you bad”, you said, he leaned in and kissed you, “I know I’m a bit banged up, but it’s still me, the same I was a week ago”, you said, “alright?”

“Yes Ma’am”, he said with a soft smile

“Now… it’s my party, so… you better cook me something GOOD”, you said, putting on your best front, you stood up from the bed, and put on your… clothes… your thickest jeans, a long sleeve shirt, with a turtleneck… you didn’t even know why, you didn’t want them to see you… like they had this morning.

With only a bruise in your face, you went down the stairs.

You entered the main space slowly, you were relieved of being back home, but your body still shook a bit. When you got to the living room, all the women in your group were there, Michonne, Maggie, Rosita, Tara, Beth. They all seemed surprised when they saw you, and then, they gave you that look.

Pity

“Please don’t”, you muttered, “don’t look at me like that”, you whispered 

“We thought you would like some company”, said Michonne, regaining her usual voice, the one she used when she was happy, “we will accompany you if you want to”

“Thanks”, you said smiling softly, “I do, really”, tears threatened to spill in your eyes, “thank you for rescuing me”, they all came in at once, but took turns to hug you tightly, murmuring praises in your ears and words of encouragement.

“We will eat, the pasta that you like”, said Maggie, your face lit up

“Real pasta? the dried kind? not the can kind?”, you asked

“The… “real” one”, confirmed Maggie, you smiled widely. They smiled at you when they saw your relieved face

“Oh good”, you said with a wide smile .

The rest of your family arrived, Glenn, Abraham, Rick, Carl, with Judith, and even Gabriel, Eugene and Tyrese, the original 18 were gathered, well, now 17 that you had lost Noah, who had been somewhat replaced by Alex. There was only one person who shone in its absence, but you didn't want to think about it. 

You ate all together, pasta, like you liked it.

But after dinner, you could tell Rick was getting anxious, so, Daryl, Rick, Alexander and you went to the corner to speak

“I didn't see him, Negan”, you began, “but i know enough to say that… this is big”, you said determinedly, “this is a huge operation, this people ran in complete loyalty towards him… he had this lieutenants of sorts, the one who imprison me was one, SImon”, you muttered, “then under then they have what they call their soldiers, the saviors, the hands that get dirty, with guns, heavy artillery, then, there’s workers, people they protect in exchange of their.. handy work, you have cooks, manual laborers… then, you have people who had wronged the system, they became some sort of slaves”, they heard everything you had to say about them.

“like I said, I don’t know who this Negan guy is, but… If he finds a woman attractive, he will make her marry him”, you said with a shaky voice

“Marry ‘em?”, you nodded

“And have sex with him”, you continued, “if they refuse he threatens to kill their real husband, or he melts their faces off with an Iron, or vice versa, if he needs someone to fall in line he will take his women for himself”, they both shared looks, “If a single woman won’t marry him, he makes them do hard labor instead, not many make it”.

“How did you learn all of this stuff?”, asked Rick

“It’s incredible what you hear when you keep quiet”, you said, “this guy Negan likes to make public displays of force, or law enforcement, that is one of his punishments, and I saw two guys with a melted face” 

“What did he make you do?”, Rick asked, as he was afraid of the answer

“He first off, his man Simon, offered all the bells and whistles, first to marry him, them to make me one of his soldiers, but I didn’t want to, I told him I wanted to go, so he deducted I had a camp… despite that I told him I didn't”, your voice broke at the last sentence, “I didn’t tell ‘em”, you assured, “I didn’t, but he knew, he saw me too clean and well kept, he wanted our location so when I wouldn’t give it he…”, both men stood still, “locked me up, beat me up, burned me”

“you should have told him so he would leave you alone”, Rick repeated

“I couldn’t do that Rick”, you whined, “it’s a huge operation”, you said, “they hold up in this huge factory, for what I heard, they have outposts too, trucks, guns, all of it”, you said, “they are hundreds of them”, the panic in their faces, they needed to know, “and they are not like Alexandrians or dumb fucks, they are us, Rick, times ten, more vicious, more violent, with more guns and resources, and they are not afraid to use them”, you said, “They run on ultimate loyalty towards Negan, their leader, he had turn these people into their soldiers, they are fiercely loyal, and entitled, they believe themselves to be the top of the food chain”, you said then, “the kind of guys that we wouldn’t let inside of Alexandria? well, he managed to control them”, you said. 

“You talk about this guy like he is some sort of cult leader”, he said

“Charles Manson wished he had come up with this stuff”, you said then, you looked down, “one of the members of my Atlanta group, the last one, found them before we did, he is one of them now”, you said, “I have reasons to believe, for what he told me, that they enforce themselves into other communities, makes them give them things, foods, and whatever they want… or they kill them”

“Jesus… Jesus helped us get you back, he told us, his community is under the savior’s thumb”, said Rick, you nodded

“He helped you?”, you asked, Daryl grabbed your arm softly

“Yeah, he approached me and Carol, and stayed with us until we got you back”, said Daryl, you smiled

“He took us to Hilltop”, said Rick, “it's a farming community, he told us the saviors killed a sixteen year old boy”

“Oh”, you said, it was great news that you knew another community, but horrible because of what was happening, “they’ll do the same to us”, you said, “it’s a matter of time, they will take our shit, and if we don’t fall in line, they will kill us”, you finished

“What are you saying?”, asked Rick

“He will look for us, hell, he might be looking for us right now”, you said, “and we better be prepared for when he does find us”, you said shortly

“To do what?”, asked Alexander

“To negotiate”, you said, “our loyalty and services for keeping our stuff, our houses, or something like that”, you muttered

And that… truly unsettled them.

You had today to recuperate, and cry, and feel pity about yourself, but now? you needed to pull it together, for what’s to come. You couldn’t give yourself more time to grieve whatever happened to you, they could be back at any minute, they could be watching you right now.

You jumped when the door opened and the three new guys entered, you didn’t understand what they were doing here, and Deanna and Spencer went in just behind them.

She wanted to see you and speak to you, but she understood it pretty quickly so once she made sure you were fine, she let you be, with the promise that anything you may need, you could count on her. 

Who knew that being taken by a hostile group and tortured would make your group more united? As you looked around the room you understood it.

You would do anything to keep them safe.

And soon you will be facing the greatest threat to your family yet… You had today, you will not take another day to yourself, to mourn, you needed to get your head straight, because whatever is lurking in the woods, you need to be right here, with your family, keeping them safe. 

But you still had today. 

You felt Smith’s eyes on you, when you looked back at him you didn't see a smirk, on those dark eyes with mockery in them, you actually saw concern, worry even. You tried not to think much about it

There was a person who still wasn’t here… and right now, as you felt the bandage touch against your long sleeve shirt… you needed her.

It as some sort of ritual they put him through

Daryl was never going to forget the face Negan made, the sick smile he gave him.

“That’s my soldier”, he purred. He gave Dwight a signal and he opened the door, “I told you I was going to get you a new pair of shoes, right?”, he teased, Laura entered the room, Fat Joey and a couple of others entered in tow

“Tell Frankie I want her to… attend… Daryl boy here, as his new rank implies”, Laura just smirked at him and nodded, “and tell Tanya to pull something together for him, and to Sherry”, Negan said this staring directly at Dwight, “ell, just to make him feel more comfortable”, he demanded. “Follow her, would ya?”, said Negan, Daryl looked at him one last time and decided to do it.

There was something different about Daryl now, despite the bruises of the brutal beating they gave him a couple of hours ago, he stood tall this time, his step was more sure, and he had a determined look in his eyes

A look Negan had seen in each of his men, his saviors

He smirked as he saw Daryl walk away from him

The first stop was another room, but this one seemed to be some sort of closet, where piles and piles of clothes were laid, hangers filled with pants and others with henleys, shirts, you name it. For every size and gender

“Pick some clothes savior”, Daryl actually flinched when he heard Laura call him that, but he needed to pick his battles and if it was true that Negan was going to grab you, he needed to get dressed, you couldn’t see him like that, not again.

He grabbed some jeans, a dark blue henley. and underwear, socks and a boxer. and a tank top to wear underneath. But then he remembered something.  

“Yeh, give me my vest back”, he demanded, reaching with his hand towards Dwight, who was standing by the door, he smirked as he removed his vest slowly.

“Have it cleaned”, he said to Fat Joey, which he nodded quickly and ran to accomplish his command.

“My bike too”, he said then

“It’s yours, I told you, didn’t I?”, he said, raising his hands in the air. Daryl was learning where he fit in the food chain right now, he turned and grabbed a pair of biker boots on his size, and nodded, grabbing onto the clothes against his chest.

“I’m moving people, just need two vehicles, we are grabbing a very special guest, meet me at the gate in five”, Negan’s voice boomed through the walkie talkie

Then the squadron took him to a big bathroom, in one of the superior levels.

“Please, rinse thoroughly”, mocked Laura as he let him inside. 

It was a big bathroom, all white tiles, and a big spacious shower.

Only with you in his mind he regulated the water, not really waiting until he peeled the disgusting suit out of his body, and got in. The water on his tired body felt heavenly, and merely second he looked down and saw all the dirt and grime on the floor of the shower.

He looked around and he saw… anything he could need was in there. shampoo, conditioner, soap, liquid soap, in bar, in all smells and colors, He grabbed a loofah? its that what was it called? and the most manly-smelling soap he could find and he rubbed himself raw with it. Until his skin was red.

He tried to push aside all of his dark thoughts, of all the stuff they pulled on him since they took him. How they left him naked, how they didn’t let him sleep, how they… beat him up.

He had to put it aside… for now… now he got you involved in this, so, now, he was going to have to pull in twice the work, because of any mistake, and you were the one who was going to pay for it. By now he had a pretty good guess of what Negan’s modus operandi was.

He took care of himself like he had never done before.

He shampooed his hair, he even got a bit of conditioner in there, he washed his face thoroughly, he got soap in every nook and cranny of his own body, and made sure to rinse himself too. If he was going to play at being a soldier, he needed to look like one.

There were towels waiting for him, and as he looked around the all white room he thought himself to be in some irreal situation, he couldn’t believe what was going on. 

He dried himself pretty quickly, and got dressed.

How long has it been since he had clean clothes?

He didn’t take the one the Alexandriands offered him when he got there, down the line he might grab something on that mission in DC, but it had been a while.

He got dressed pretty quickly, the clothes fit him perfectly, and then he opened the door.

“Oh my!”, mocked Laura, “who would have thought that under all that… a decent man was hiding, (y/n) is a lucky girl”, Laura eyed him up and down with a smirk on her face, Daryl only growled something incoherent.

“Next stop, follow me”, she said. 

She led them to the top levels of the factory. He knew this way, he knew where they were taking him. his grim commitive left him in the lunge of all of Negan’s wives

Sherry was there to receive him.

“You said it”, she wasn’t asking, she was accusing him, her face showing how conflicted she was. Sherry then looked behind Daryl, at Dwight

“We’ll take it from here”, she said, and in front of Laura’s amused glance, she closed the double door on their faces.

“He… threatened me with her”, he said shortly, she looked back at him, with sadness in her big brown eyes and nodded

“He tends to do that”, she said, “is she going to be… one of his wives?”, Daryl shook his head

“Nah”, he looked around and he saw all these beautiful women looking back at him with curiosity in their eyes

“No sex”, Sherry warned, and he looked back at her like she just slapped him

“I dun’…”, he denied with heated cheeks, “dun want nothin”

“We are supposed to… take care of him”, contradicted Frankie

“Not in that way”. Daryl didn’t want anything to do with these women, but they grabbed him and made him sit on a comfortable sofa. Frankie went to stand behind him, and started rubbing his shoulders, massaging his back. He flinched at her touch, he didn’t want to be touched by anybody by you, but then he decided to let her touch him, if she didn’t do her job, Negan could punish her. 

Sherry came towards him and sat in front of him

“You know how he is now”, she said, “so will have to do as he says… or else”

“He will use ‘er to make me”, he said shortly

“I’m not gonna lie, I don’t get why he let you keep… being married to her”

“We ain’t married”, he said. 

“Negan wants to play with you”, she said shortly. He only looked back at her, frowning, he kind of knew that, but still…

He didn’t want to play along, he didn’t, but when Tanya lifted a ridiculous silver top, revealing what she as a chef had prepared for him, he dove right in, not even bothering to use utensils. It was some sort of pasta with a creamy sauce. It seemed like Negan was even taunting him with you, your favorite dish. He just figured out how hungry he was, after days of being fed with nothing but dog-food sandwiches.

He felt watched, all the women on the lounge were staring at him, but he didn’t care, he drank all the beer they offered him and ate the whole thing. Licking his fingers right after.

Sherry brought him a scotch to wash it all down

“Does he do this often?”, he asked her, in a way only she could hear, “offer the lot of you like this?”

“Never”, she said, “I mean sometimes, but he is always in the room with us”, he hummed, “he doesn’t let other men touch us”

“He went to get her, didn’t he?”, she asked him

“Yeah”, she admitted. 

Laura came back to the lounge an hour later, when she made sure he had been “treated” good enough. With a nod towards Sherry, he left the room with an uneasy feeling, a shiver down his spine. 

“You are one of us now Dixon”, she said, as they got to the main floor of the factory, “which means you are on top of the food chain, you answer only to Negan”, she said looking at him, he wants you here, in the Sanctuary”

“Right”, he mumbled, as he saw the workers, a dread settled in his gut, as he saw all the people there

“They work for points, they work for us”, she said, “you want something, you write your name, you get it, got it?”, she asked, “we give them safety, they feed us”

This was more than just that, Daryl thought, this was worse than the old world order. As he saw all these people down there, and him looking at them from above.

And then he saw him, at the other side of the floor.

Negan was looking straight at him and smiling. He was flanked by Dwight and Fat Joey, Laura took him straight for him.

“There you are!”, Negan greeted, with that mocking smile on his face, “Looking sharp Daryl”, he said, “can’t wait to let you loose on my communities”, he said with a smile. And Daryl didn’t like that, not at all, and Negan could see it in his face, “but first…”, he said, pointing at him with his leather gloved hand. “...I want you to see how good I treat my men”, he started walking, and Dwight signaled him to follow suit, the four of them did.

The walk was painfully slow and long, as everyone kneeled at the sight of their leader and talked praises to him, and Negan, being the theatrical man he was, thanked and greeted each and every one of them.

Then, they stopped in front of the door that they led him that morning. 

Dwight gave him his vest back, that he put on immediately, and offered his clothes that where his before they took him, he only retrieved the red cloth he had always on the back of his pants and threw the rest on the floor, “this too”, he said, passing him his crossbow. Daryl took it without a second thought, and then Dwight passed him the little box he had hidden on his vest, the one he let Negan dissacrate.

“Now Daryl, let me tell you, I don’t like it when my saviors live in sin with their ladies, so… make an honest woman out of her would you?”, he mocked. Daryl just looked at him as he pocketed the ring on his vest again. “quickly… if I were you”, now they were back in the front of the door Negan took him in the morning

“Welcome to the rest of your life, soldier”, said Negan, as Dwight opened the door to the room.

Negan padded him on the back before he pushed him in.

There you were, sitting on the bed. Daryl’s breath got caught in his throat when he saw you, “all dolled up” for him, you were wearing a dark green tight dress that hugged your curves and some high heels 

“There you go tiger”, Negan teased, “All pretty for her man!”, he laughed, he winked at you and then they closed the door to leave the two of you alone.

You stumbled when you tried to stand up weaning those ridiculous shoes, but it didn’t matter because Daryl was right there to catch you and hugged you tightly in his arms. The hug didn’t last long, he searched your face to eat your mouth hungrily, he kissed you roughly, like he was claiming you, you tried to keep up, caressing the back of his head.

He finally released you, leaving you breathless 

“You were crying”, he said softly, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs, you tried to cover it up but you guessed you failed, as Daryl knew you too well.

“I’m sorry, I was scared”, you admitted, “they took me, I didn’t know what was going to happen”, you whispered, “Negan tends to be… unpredictable, you never know what he is going to do with you”, you looked at him wondering where the other shoe was going to drop, Negan didn’t specify much 

“Ya safe ‘ere”, he whispered, “yer with me”

“I know”, you assured him, and when you looked at his face, and around, and the way Negan spoke to him… you could only assume

“Did you…?”

“I’m one of his now”, he said, caressing your face with his thumbs

“I’m sorry”, you offered, he looked at you with shiny eyes, he looked like beaten puppy, “because of me you had to say his name, join this insanity”, you whined, he didn’t say anything, he walked towards you and grabbed you, pulling you to your feet gently, and then he grabbed your face and kissed you, fiercely, needily 

“You got nothin’ to be sorry fer”, he mumbled. And then he kissed you again, “what the hell ya wearin?”, he asked, releasing you and looking you up and down

“Negan has a very twisted sense of humor”, you mumbled, looking up at him, at his beautiful eyes, “he said that if I wanted to stay here with you, I couldn’t just be dressing like…”, he had also said that now you were the wife of one of his soldiers you needed to ‘take care of him properly’, and that included looking ‘fine’ but you didn’t want to tell him that.

“Ya’ aint in an auto shop”, he said for you, you smiled, “I’ll get ya out of it”, he promised, kissing you again, his big hands were on you in a second, grabbing you by your hips and then caressing everything in their path towards the back of your dress. Oh, he wanted to go all the way, which surprised you a bit.

“Wait”, you called, when he opened the zipper, he stopped immediately, searching your eyes

“Wanna stop?”, he asked

“No, it’s just… right now?”, you asked him, “here?”, you loved having sex with Daryl, but you had this notion that having sex in a ‘safe’ environment, where you both were comfortable, safe and in controlled privacy was the one condition that was not negotiable. 

“Yes here”, he said, and kissed you again. You gave yourself directly to him, no more doubts or questions

The cold air hit you as he released you from the dress. He lowered you down onto the bed gently then, with a soft smile on his handsome face. 

Now you were only in your underwear, but he took care of that quickly. Now you were naked, with only your heels on, and he looked down at you with such hunger it made you tremble. He was still fully clothed, but he had no intention to change that as he took himself out of his jeans. 

You whined in need, the image of him stroking himself, kneeling on the bed, looking down at you, it was just too much. You spread your legs for him, and he dove in, kissing you again roughly.

“Christening the bed of our new home already?”, you teased, and he got comfortable between your legs. He teased your entrance with his thick fingers making you whine, before he even tried to.

“Daryl”, you moaned when he pushed in the tip of his cock inside you, “fuck”, you whined.

“Tell me… yer mine”, he demanded, and even though this part of his truly… surprised you, you looked up at him to see longing in those beautiful eyes of his.

“I’m yours”, you assured him, and looking at him more, all cleaned up, made you glad, a huge contrast of what you saw yesterday. And you wondered if this was his way of… healing, of wanting to get better. Of having you, to assure him that it was all over and he was going to be fine.

You let him, as he filled you up completely, making you tremble and moan under him. 

“Daryl, I love you, I’m yours”, you confessed, you surrendered yourself completely to him. 

He fucked you roughly against the mattress, kissing you hungrily, caressing every inch of skin he could get his hands on, he made you finish twice before he found his own release, filling you with his cum and a grunt, as he looked down on you, still, fully clothed, his jeans rough against the skin of the inside of your thighs 

He used his arms at each side of your head to not crush you under his weight, as he tried to recover his breath. 

You tried to caress him, but you only found fabric instead of skin and you did not like that.

“Was I too rough?”, he asked 

“No, I’m fine”, you assured him, caressing his arms, his shoulders, trying to give him comfort. He let himself drop to the bed by your side, and the cold of the room made you tremble. He was quick to notice and grabbed a blanket from the foot of the bed and covered you with it. 

You cuddled against his side, and he surrounded your shoulders with his arm. 

“At least we are here together”, you tried, he hummed, this Daryl, was new to you, you didn't know how to play this game you had been dealt. “When all of this is over”, you said gently, “I think… we should go away”

“What ya’ mean?”, he asked

“We could find a nice cabin… near Alexandria, and we could live there, together, would you like that?”, you asked him, “just us two… in the woods… we could come back to Alexandria whenever we want…to trade, and see our family…”

“I’d like tha”, he said, caressing your back, “just us two”

“You could teach me how to hunt…”, you tried, “I could teach you… something in turn”, you giggled softly.

“I’d like ta teach ya”, he whispered against your temple, kissing it afterwards.

“I love you Daryl”, you whispered, “I’m yours”, saying it right now, ‘sober’, and not in the heat of the moment might be what he needed to hear

“And I love ya”, he assured you back, kissing the top of your head. 

You ran out of Atlanta, abandoning like it was riddled with the plague, not that it wasn’t already, but you get the meaning.

You were not going to DC, you were not going to Lake Lanier. 

At least not yet, you were driving Noah to his house first which was on the way to Washington DC, Beth had insisted, You were a big group, you were slower because of it, but all of you were seasoned survivors by now, you were strong together.

You came to know that you had lost Bob, which didn’t personally upset you since you never even spoke to him, but Sasha was terribly sad, as he was her partner, and it was awful to lose someone, whoever that was.

You gathered Gabriel, Michonne, Carl and Judith, and you started your long journey

Usually, it would be like eight hours of driving to DC, but traveling had gotten extremely slow in the apocalypse, especially since most roads were cut. You had barely drove for a couple of hours until you had to stop in a small industrial neighborhood, both because rather the car had decided to stop working and also you needed to change cars and regroup

But the sun was falling over the horizon, so you offered yourself to clear out a bodega nearby, with a couple of floors of offices, more comfortable for sleeping.

“I’ll go with ya”, jumped Daryl, who had barely even looked at you since they rescued Beth. You wanted to say no, that you didn’t need a babysitter

“I’ll go too”, said Rosita, and you were relieved. Something had shifted in the dynamic of that group, Abraham barely spoke, usually he was so driven, but now, since it was revealed that the whole cure thing was a lie, Eugene had an ugly bruise on his face and Abraham sat in the back seat and just looked forwards, didn’t even offer himself to drive.

You and Rosita took the lead while Daryl, behind you, had his crossbow standing in attention. You opened the thick door to the outside to reveal an empty hallway, you took your ax with your left hand and your gun with your right, you had been gifted with being ambidextrous, and you had nurtured it during your time alone.

You knocked on every door, clearing it office by office. 

It wasn’t until you reached the warehouse at the very end of the hallway when the fun began, at least ten walkers came for you as soon as you opened the door.

“Let’s get the party started”, you muttered, Rosita only smirked.

Daryl stood behind you, you felt him shift uncomfortably, as you and Rosita, knife and ax in hand, threw yourself at the walkers

Piercing skulls was more difficult than it seemed, truly. Well, in your experience it really depended on the… state… of the walker you were about to hit.

You drew the first walker blood, as you took the first one out of his undead misery with a swing of your ax, the second one was coming near, so you kicked it, made it stumble back giving you a few moments to take foot and end him too.

At some point this became cathartic. like a relief, you were ending the enemy, fighting the fight, the living VS the dead

You and Rosita fought them all, Daryl ended a couple of them, saying nothing, but you appreciated that he gave you your space to do what you had to do, what you offered yourself to. 

Rosita was badass, she was, her movements were impeccable as she took those walkers out, you exchanged looks and she smiled at you

“Those were some sick moves”, she admitted, “not bad new girl”, you chuckled

“Not so bad yourself Espinosa”, you said back with a wink

Daryl just watched the scene, interested. 

“Should we clean more floors?”, you said

“Damn straight”, she said, “let’s see what else we can find”, she said, after taking a look around, there were only boxes filled with odd metallic pieces you couldn’t recognize. So you moved on from the warehouse, Daryl barely nodded, and followed you like he was your bodyguard

With everything that had happened lately, being saved by Daryl repeatedly and then judged harshly by Carol and him too, you wanted to show what you could do, looking to prove yourself again, but this time, for your own sake, rather than to prove anything to them, if anything, you were annoyed that Daryl was there looking over your shoulder.

You went room by room on the second floor, as usual, you didn’t find anything too exciting. a couple of walkers.

A thing that you never liked to do… was to play detective, to draw a story about who these people were, how did they die if they were alone, you tried not to… look… too much at the scenes. You had seen things, terrible things, that you did not wish to remember right now.

So you tried to separate… walker from person…. they were not people anymore, and that is what you were comfortable with

You took a swing so hard your ax got stuck in the wall, you had to use your leg as leverage to take it out. 

It was a good exercise, you were afraid you were getting out of practice 

You cleaned up every floor, without a single bullet being shot, you took them out one by one.

As you cleared the last office, finding a couple of nice bottles of scotch in what it looked to be the boss’ office 

With complacent smiles and a good bounty you returned to the group after having a couple of swings from the bottle, only Rosita and you, Daryl, denied to take a sip.

You returned and Rick seemed impressed, so they all entered the building you had secured. 

The rest of them were scouting the area, searching specially for gas for the cars. You still had the things you had from your safehouse, so you ate together in a cleared office. 

These moments where odd, dining all together, like a strange family, with lots of uncles, and nephews and nieces

It was odd, but it felt nice.

Then the scotch appeared and they all seemed content, taking drinks, for different reasons…

Many of them celebrated they found Beth and their group was put together again, the others, for sorrows, for the broken promise of a solution to all this madness. Some celebrated that we were fine, and on our path to something better, others tried to drown their fears of the uncertainty of the near future.

But there wasn’t enough buzz for anybody to get really drunk, so after dinner, everybody split up.

Everybody knew what to do for the night, the scavengers looked for useful things around in the small neighborhood, the others prepared for the journey the next day, others set up lookouts points to take guard, Beth and Rick stayed with the kids. 

You felt weary of Rick, and how he treated you so delicately, so, you did what you used to do best, you went to the roof. You were a bit tired after slaying a dozen walkers so, you guessed you could take the first watch from the high point of the area. 

You came out the door of the roof, and you weren’t surprised when you saw Daryl there, you had seen him sneak out of the room when the liquor started pouring 

You were starting to… getting to know him better, he was the guardian of the group, always making sure everyone was safe and fed. You couldn’t sneak up on him, he was already looking at you when you found him.

“You should sleep a bit”, you said softly, he only acknowledged you and nodded, growling a bit. He tended to do a lot of that, just a little rumble, a sound from way inside his throat, but you were learning to interpret them

“What ‘bout ya’?”, he asked

“I have been training myself to sleep at day”, you said, with a soft smile. 

You sat right by his side, completely violating his personal space, but he didn’t seem to mind. It was not that he was paying close attention to what was going on, it was just that he couldn’t sleep. You didn’t say anything, you didn’t speak, you just sat there, breathing softly, looking at the scenery with sharp eyes. He was seated against a big squared vent, close to the edge, so you could see a lot of the area front here, even if you were setting there

You didn’t say anything else.

. . . 

It’s been a while since Daryl felt this peaceful

He felt relaxed, even deep in slumber, when he started to come to his senses, he felt a soft sway, like the one of a boat in a tranquil lagoon with barely any ripples in water. Then, he heard, he felt, your soft breathing, on top of his head, on his forehead, the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the top curve of your breasts, hiding comfortably in your brassier, under your soft looking shirt with a generous V-neck line. He saw your chest, your beautiful skin, how soft it seemed, he wished he could touch it… he tried to look up but the angle didn’t allow him to see your face, so he regained control of his body and he separated himself from you.

There you were, peacefully sleeping as he had been, the sun was already shining softly in the horizon.

When he realized how much he was leaning into you he separated himself from you, and that is what woke you, the lack of the presence of the archer stuck to your side as it was when you finally went to sleep

He couldn’t believe he had lowered his guard like this, and not because he didn’t trust you, but because he was supposed to be on guard, vigilant, taking care of his group

“It’s already morning”, you said groggily

He couldn't believe he had been looking at your cleavage, what was he thinkin?

He couldn't believe he had been looking at you like a deer in headlights since he met you, that he had never felt this comfortable in who knows how long, that he was almost impressed when he saw how you took down those walkers with only your ax, he couldn’t believe he was… feeling this… things… he… he stood up like the floor was lava, like you would burn him

“We gotta go”, he said quickly, you barely nodded, and he left you there, alone.

You didn’t even understand what was going on, but he almost sprinted full speed away from you. 

You stood up, the uncomfortable position you took all night taking a toll on your sore extremities, but to no matter, he was right.

You went down the stairs and found Rick, Carol, Glenn and Maggie, who looked at you and where you had come from. Rick looked at you kind of concerned, Maggie and Glenn with funny faces, entertained, and Carol seemed angry.

“Morning”, you greeted softly, “is everything alright?”

“Except by the fact that Daryl ran off, yes”, said Maggie with a silly smile, you felt your cheeks heated, looking everywhere but at their faces

“We were discussing how to proceed ahead”, said Rick, “with the big group we have”, you nodded and kept walking.

“No luck with more gas?”, you asked, and they shook their heads, “there are other towns nearby”, you said softly.

“Yes, let’s move to the next one”, said Rick, “let’s pack up and go”, he commanded

“I’ll make sure everybody has some place to take provisions, so we can divide the weight”, said Carol.

You walked back where everybody was refreshing themselves, you had found a working bathroom so everybody took turns to freshen up. You had checked the tank upstairs and still was halfway filled with water.

“Where have you been?”, asked Rosita with a smirk

“I slept on the roof, old habits die hard I guess”, you said with a shy smile

“Alooone?”, she tease, but you only shook your head with a smile, and kept moving

Last night meant nothing, you literally just offered your shoulder to sleep on and he accepted, nothing less or nothing more. 

Everybody packed up, and you started moving, leaving the huge fire truck behind.

You started walking North, you were a big group and you felt safe, for the first time in ages, there were no hordes or walkers near and you followed a road up north, a small road, to not draw too much attention to yourselves, from neither the living or dead.

You walked until you saw a sign, saying that you were already in South Carolina, you had left Georgia behind, and your plan to go to Lake Lanier. You don't resent Rick for leading you towards Washington, it was the sanest idea.

You didn’t even know what was there, an old margarita ville, cabins, yachts and a big hotel, it could be a huge bust, right?

So you just went along, is not like you could separate from them and go yourself, you didn’t want to split up, you felt safe with them, you felt like a force of nature, to be reckoned with 

At first, you were walking all together, on a line, as the day progressed you started to separate in groups, some started talking amongst themselves, you got a bit delayed and walked behind them, hand in your holster, ready for everything.

You were guarding them, taking care of them even from a bit afar, so that would give you a bit of perspective for possible dangers.

The sun was burning you from above, right a the center of the sky when you stop for something to eat

You still had bottled water to last you for today and maybe breakfast tomorrow, but no more than that, so you hoped you could find a town for tonight.

RIck looked for you with his eyes, and when he found you, he seemed concerned

“You alright?”, he asked, cradling Judith against his chest, you nodded

“Yeah sure”, you muttered

“I know you believed Lake Lanier was the way to go, but…”

“It's fine Rick”, you said simply, “I was just protecting our backs”, you said with a smile, he nodded placing a hand on your shoulder

“Thank you”, he said

You helped Tyresse, Beth, Carol and Noah to make food for everyone, Daryl set the fire of course and then escaped into the woods, out of sight. 

You baked some canned beans, in cans, and everyone seemed contented, you didn’t have anything better, and there were a lot of you, 

You wondered what happened to all the farm animals… in farms… the dead also ate animals, the fuckers, they were going to eat you too… farms you gathered, were screwed, specially those with small paddocks, nowhere for the animals to run from the dead.

You really wanted some eggs and rice right now, you never liked beans.

You chuckled just thinking about it, oh the things you had to eat now…

“What’s so funny?”, asked Rick, truly interested, you only shook your head

“I was just thinking how I wish I could eat eggs with rice right now, I never liked beans, and then I remembered we are in the middle of the apocalypse”, you laughed, and despite the surreal of the situation, everybody laughed

“I would give everything for some barbecue ribs”, muttered Abraham

“Tacos al pastor”

“A cheeseburger”

“Sushi form that japanese place near my apartment”

“Ceviche”

“Some pizza from Domino’s”

And everybody shared their desired foods, well, except Sasha, she looked utterly horrified by the topic, like she couldn’t believe what you were saying

You continued after that, taking out the fire.

You kept moving.

This time, you wanted to walk back, like you have done, but Daryl, surprisingly, had the same idea, he walked behind the group, and naturally, you started walking together.

“What was your favorite food?”, you asked him softly

“Wha’?”, he asked back

“Back there we all shared what we would like to eat, from before”, you said, “what would be your food?”, you asked softly, he looked back at you quizzically

“What kind of idiot question is tha’?”, you looked down, a bit embarrassed

“Well, just making conversation”, you whispered. an awkward silence stood between you now.

“Roast chicken”, he said then, you looked up at him

“Good choice”, you said, “A classic”, he looked at you, you looked back at him, and he actually smiled softly at you.

You kept walking, in a silence that wasn’t awkward anymore.