#misformelancholy

The two of them would lay awake together in the early hours of the morning after she had exhausted herself through crying, her eyes red and sore as she lay in Patrick's arms and he shushed comfortingly as he trailed his fingers through her soft brown hair. There hadn't been a night since she had come home to the apartment that she hadn't cried until there was no more tears left, the tiny nightgown she'd been making clutched tightly in her hand as her cheeks were stained with tears. Every night had gone the same way, so Patrick wasn't surprised that he found himself holding his wife close to him as she trembled from the intensity of her sobs. 'That's my girl.' He whispered gently into her ear when Shelagh buried her face into his neck, her breath hitching as she tried to calm herself down and she held to the fabric of his nightshirt with a vice-like grip. Cupping the sharpness of her jaw in his palm and caressing his wife's ear with slow strokes of his thumb, he felt her begin to settle in his embrace while her damp eyelashes brushed against the warm skin of his neck. 'I know that you believe that this is going to make me love you less, since we can't have a child of our own, but it has only made me love you even more, Shelagh.'

She pulled slowly away from his neck a few moments later and allowed her head to settle upon his shoulder through the fabric of his nightshirt, her eyes fluttering closed as she let out a sigh of satisfaction at the feeling of her husband caressing her cheek with the backs of his fingers. 'Ever since you asked me to marry you, I always imagined having children with you, Patrick.' Her voice was quiet and hoarse from her harsh sobbing a short while ago as she stroked her fingertips against the warm skin at the side of his neck, her eyes fixed upon his chest as she took a deep breath to stop herself from getting emotional. 'I always imagined sitting on the settee with you as your hand was on my stomach and we felt our child kicking, knowing that we were going to be expanding our family.' He stroked her hair lovingly while he listened intently. 'But when I woke up from my surgery and I saw the look on your face, I knew there was something wrong with my body. With me.' She snuggled closer. 'It's my fault we can't have a child.'

He hooked his finger beneath her chin and brought her gaze to his as the tears were once again evident in her enchanting blue eyes, her bottom lip quivering slightly before she sucked upon it to make it stop and he pressed a kiss to the bridge of her nose. 'I never want to hear you say that again, do you understand me?' He asked gently as he pressed his forehead to hers and the tips of their noses brushed softly against one another's, his hand finding her waist through the silky fabric of her ivory nightgown. 'It is not your fault that you came into contact with Tuberculosis and it is not your fault that it spread so far. It spreads like wildfire, my darling, so we were lucky to catch it when we did even if this is the result. I would rather no baby than no you, Shelagh, I mean that with my entire heart and soul. It was so hard for me to watch you go into that Sanatorium, not knowing if you were going to come back out again, and knowing that I wasn't going to get to see you for months. I would have come to visit you when you were in there if I was brave enough to, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to find the words to say to you.' She smiled slightly as she stroked his cheek with the back of his hand. 'If anything had happened to you-'

'I know.' She whispered as she cupped his cheek in her palm and allowed him to nuzzle into it as his eyes fell closed, his head turning in order for him to kiss her palm tenderly before he laced his fingers with hers and rested it over his heart. 'But it didn't, did it?' They shared a loving smile before she caught him in a slow and long kiss, their lips smacking softly when they pulled apart. 'I managed to get through it with the medication I was given, I discharged myself out of the Sanatorium and got onto a bus, much to the disgust of my doctor, and then I came home and became the fiancee of the man who I was madly in love with.' He smirked lovingly at her as he brought his hand up to tuck a strand of soft brown hair back behind her ear, reveling in the smile that she blessed him with that made her eyes sparkle sweetly.

'Was in love with?' He teased as he rolled her slowly onto her back and moved to cover her body with his own, resting his forearms either side of her head as he gazed down at her and she trailed the palm of her hands along the front of his chest as she smiled up at him. 'Has my charm begun to disappear since I slid your engagement ring onto your finger, my love? Because I would beg to differ, since you've still got it on.' She giggled softly as she wrapped her arms slowly around his neck and brought him down into a long and deep kiss, reveling in the gentle hum he gave against her lips as she trailed the tips of her fingers through the thick dark hair that covered his head. 'We're going to be just fine.' He reassured her when they had parted and her hands rested upon the sides of his neck, their foreheads kissing as their breath mingled and she brushed her thumbs against his warm skin. 'We've got Timothy and we've got each other, Shelagh, but if we still want children later this year then maybe we could look into adoption.'

'Really?' She gasped in excitement as her eyes sparkled and her lips curled up into a perfect smile that warmed his heart. 'You would really consider adopting?' He kissed her warm brow with a soft chuckle.

'I would go to the ends of the earth to make you happy, Mrs. Turner.' He reassured her as he moved to lay beside her, bringing her into his arms before he nuzzled against her hairline. 'Never forget that.'

As Shelagh settled down in the arms of her one true love that evening, drifting off to his fingers combing through her hair, she knew that she would get past this melancholy stage.

She would come out stronger.