#misc.kra

preferably something that describes being with the fiction based person in a serious and physical (?) sense...

this would preferably be in depth. terms for partner, husband/wife, girl/boy/joyfriend, mom/dad/parent, stuff like that. maybe even things to replace terms like dating, crushes, friendship, and marriage?.

basically i want something to specifically call my [ blank ] that is not reliant on implying they are Completely Fictional or could be considered not completely serious [ shipping , "fictional" other ] while still making the distinction that its a bit different than most other relationships..

im sure we could make this on our own with enough time but we just wanna see if theres anything already out there & if someones willing to Help make it if not!!!

Q). How has the MOGAI community influenced or affected how you understand identity, both your own and that of others?

hmm. it certainly didnt make us "more open"/accepting of others, because we just.. assumed that was the default state of mind that Everyone had when we were a kid haha . like, we had no problem with seeing a xenogender for the first time and going "oh, thats awesome!" even with no explanation or additional context

it did however open us to learning what being trans or queer really was like. and that made way for us accepting that no, we are not just a really dedicated cis ally, we are also trans. we heard about transmeds and we really couldnt understand why "trenders" were a bad thing, let alone being considered "not actually trans."

so, from about 11 years old and onwards [ we're 19 now ! ], we've had a stash :) we were mostly on instagram at the time of discovery , and didnt even consider tumblr as a source for the community. however the small corner of the community we found really made us a lot happier!

we showed our stash off to all our friends, talking about how we personally experienced it the entire time. we wouldve never been so happy and accepting of our own experiences if we never saw that random suggested post on our instagram explore page !! it changed our lives haha

if we didnt find that post, i dont think we wouldve explored our identity as much as we have. we wouldve just considered ourselves a trans man [ IF we ever realized we were trans ] that has a Really Weird sense of identity, without having any way to describe it.

we're not a trans man. we're trans neutral, some masculine traits, some feminine. we can call ourselves a girl sometimes and even other people can too but either times are only in specific situations. we're aroace and asensual but gay and very much into people from fiction, and real people only in theory [ so no actual attraction ]. we have specific terms that apply separately to each of us, like pulse is beyongraspic (link) & brokinadinic (link) . and hollow has lectence (link) & macarshric (link) in their stash. but we wouldnt have known ANY of that if we didnt get any exposure to the mogai community.

Q). Talk about either your favourite identity term of yours or a random one that applies to you! Why is it a part of your identity, how does it apply to you?

No real favorites between labels n such, sooo were going with being aromantic <3 also some mentions of other labels :)

as a kid, we absolutely knew in a vague way that we weren't like the majority. being trans & having gender dysphoria, being aromantic & asexual, plural, etc. so it wasnt much of a surprise when we saw the work "aromantic" and it immediately clicked. though seeing the label itself was some time in late middle school, we knew from the start that we were aromantic, just without its name.

we had the classic experience of pretending/lying about having a crush on someone, even to the extent of DATING said person . humiliating & exhausting.

we've had no romantic or adjacent attraction towards anyone we've ever seen or met. i mean, sure, we can say that "they look.. cute?" but its more in a way that you would say a feral animal or a kid looks cute, nothing more than basic aesthetics.

the actions & thought of attraction feels disgusting to us, we cringe and can even get nauseous when we see even mildly intimate or romantic activities , anything from holding hands or a hug to flirting. as long as it had a romantic intention, its disgusting. not that we'd ever try to PREVENT people from doing things like that, we just avoid it as much as possible.

being aromantic [ & asexual ] is so deeply ingrained into our brain. its not something that we can ignore or push away! it dictates how we interact with others, how we perceive things.

its one of the few permanent identities we have, we dont ever expect it to go away, and we dont want it to ! its integral to our ideal life hehe :) we simply wouldnt be ourselves if we were suddenly experiencing that sort of attraction.

note : some of us are more.. kindof interested in romantic situations? like in a scientific way of "hmm i want to study these activities." instead of willing to explore it for ourselves. so not all of us are fully disgusted by romance n such , however we're all detached from it [ majority of us think its Nasty though haha . this doesnt mean that we want it Eradicated from the planet, we just avoid it & dont like to hide our feelings very much ! ]

Q). What are your experiences with names, pronouns, and other referential language? How does it relate or not relate to other aspects of your identity?

names are easily "broken" or ruined for us, same with pronouns or terms like girl or he/him. yknow that one toy story "i dont want to play with you anymore" scene?? yeah that except the toy is replaced with words. we have to regularly cycle through what we allow our friends to use on us because the feeling of a "broken" name or pronoun or whatever else being used on us is horrible. its actually a lot worse than our legal name, which we do Not like. so.. this leads to us using our legal name more than our preferred names when not in online spaces, just to avoid confusion & people getting upset over it .

this also applies to each individual system member. we all have a set of a few names at any given time [ even if theyre majority nicknames ] because we all share the trait of not being able to stand having a Broken name. we try to avoid Breaking anything as much as possible but its just not something we can fully prevent from happening

we dont pay much attention to what terms/words tie into identity-wise,. if the word sounds right to use, we use it. "Sol" as a name is good for us currently, not because of an attachment to space , but because it SOUNDS right. Same goes for our other names and pronouns & literally every other word we use to refer to ourselves. if there was something that we wanted to add to our stash, but it didn't sound/feel right, we wouldnt be able to comfortably do so.

Q). Talk about some sort of transition you've had or would like to have!

ouug god . conflicting ideas for transition. we havent had much transitioning other than basic social changes between close friends, which is very hidden from everyone else that isnt in that small circle of people.

the only medical one we can ALL agree on is "vaginal-preserving phalloplasty" . basically you keep your vagina and get a dick too ! its also pretty neat that medical advancements allow for this hehe

we're also tempted to get another medical transition Thing, which would be top surgery . so, removal of our breasts. we cant exactly agree on this because half of us like having them, and the other half doesnt. if we DID end of getting rid of them, we'd probably stuff a bra or something when someone wants to have them. but, again, not completely sure if we want the scars & such

[ unless we ended up getting tattoos or fancy scarification Maybe?? in that case i personally, the current fronter, would be fully on board, even though i dont really care for which outcome happens ]

more medical stuff we Mostly agree on !! HRT. likely testosterone shots. probably not until the dawn of time, definitely not to the point of facial hair [ sensory nightmare ] , and we want that midpoint between a classically feminine appearance & androgyny. some of us are more hesitant because we might go "too far" and not be as comfortable with our shared body.

we tend to lean towards preferring feminine appearances, simply because its more aesthetically appealing to us ! though we like some more masculine traits, which would be why we also want to look a lot more androgynous compared to our current appearance. we want that sweet sweet "she- uh... he? they???" response from every stranger we meet.

we dont plan on changing much else i dont think?, the rest is probably just future social transition stuff like pronouns and our names & terms used for us.

Q). How do you express your identity through your behaviour or clothing? How does this relate to your identity? If you don't currently, would you like to in the future?

ehh we dont do that, dont really know HOW that would work either . we act how we naturally act and dress in whatever fits our Fancy. this is probably tied into why presentation terms are very confusing to us </3

though i suppose plurality changes those slightly? because we have differing opinions & tastes & personalities, but its not a "we are going to do this on Purpose" type of thing? so im not sure if it fits "expressing" our identities in this context. again very unconscious activities , we rarely notice it happening. its mostly other people pointing it out and us being surprised about it

soo havent thought about it much, not sure if it applies to us, & we arent interested in changing anything to "express" our other identities.

note : our clothing habits are not considered expressing our identities because.. its clothing. i dont see how thats applicable to us if we just dress in whatever looks best on our meat body & fits our tastes. fashion tastes. not identity themed stuff. we dont really care much we just want other people to say our dresses or sweaters compliment our hair color or whatever

Q). How do you organize or categorize your identity? If you don't, why don't you?

we group things into Words/Terms, Body, Gender+, Orientation & Attraction+, General Identity+, & nonhumanity+ . [ the plus symbol is meant to make room for things that dont exactly fit the category, but are "close enough" so we dont need a billion little dropdown menus with one or two terms in them lol ]

Words/Terms include descriptive words like Partner or Man, as well as pronouns, titles, & names. Body is what we physically are , whether thats meatspace or Not. Gender+ is pretty self explanatory, anything that is a gender or fits into a gender adjacent category. Orientation & Attraction+, General Identity+, & Nonhumanity+ all have the same function as Gender+ , so anything that fits those general concepts goes in those sections.

it sounds simple because it is !! our brain goes mush and turns one thing into another at random so theres little to no point in trying to separate everything into teenie tiny pieces just for it to be replaced/eradicated. so they all go into one of those categories , there are no additional "smaller" pieces to our collections

plus, we are always adding & subtracting things from the lists, so they stay pretty small !!. we are Constantly on Edit Mode ehehe