#misc updates

Here’s my new baby coming home in a few weeks~ He’s 6 months old and a white Husky

[ 2:05 PM ]

( 1 ) from chara.

hello everyone, and a huge apology to all of you for the sudden, extremely long, and unnanounced hiatus. though it may sound super typical, the main culprit behind this was school (and also the huge and intimidating change in the tumblr algorithm). however, with the school year drawing to a close, i do plan to slowly ease back into a regular posting schedule. here are a few other things that are going to be happening in the coming weeks:

• a masterlist for all anons and posts (finally, this blog can be organized)

• clearing out the inbox. i’m so sorry to those who have sent in texts during the hiatus, but it just feels odd to have the dreamies respond to months-old messages. the only ask i will be replying to, however, is the one for the ‘love letters to jeno’ series since, you know, that’s still ongoing

• posting fics for the winners of the contest i held ages ago on my main, @coshuangmos. this will probably be done over the following months, though. i’m so sorry for making you guys wait for so long gahhh

• also, mark will no longer be able to send texts considering how he’s no longer in the dream unit anymore. (i know, i know. he already misses you guys so much 😔 )

nonetheless, thank you all for your support prior to the hiatus, and to those who have checked in during it. the dreamies look forward to talking to you all again!

[11PM bonus devlog? 11PM bonus devlog.]

Amadeus sits in a... strange place. I have cited its primary inspirations as including Umineko, Final Fantasy VIII, and somehow, Sonic Adventure 1. Two of these three games are not necessarily known as being the most tightly-written narratives of all time.

Amadeus is difficult to categorize as a mystery game, because it's undeniably more about telling a story than presenting a mystery. Yet there is a mystery, and I've endeavored to set things up in such a way that come Certain Reveals, you can go re-play the earlier episodes and go "YOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

I actually was afraid that I had made certain setups too obvious in Episode 1, but was reassured by Spoiler Friends that my direction is definitely too insane for anyone to reasonably guess where I'm going with all this. Now that I've said that, though, perhaps expectations will be too high. Well, who knows?

We'll have to see how it lands once reveals come. Until then, I'd still like to talk about my biggest influences in mystery writing specifically, and what I've taken from those in terms of direction for Amadeus.

Or, what I'm HOPING to take from them!

Remember11: The Age of Infinity

OK, listen. This game is nuts. It has one of the most insane plot twists of all time, and it's kind of dumb but it's barely almost-justified by the game's logic, and it's just so completely out there, that you forgive it. Please play this game specifically for that reveal. There is nothing else like it. Probably for good reason, but still.

That twist isn't what really makes Remember11 stick in my brain as a mystery, though! It's the structure. The game has an INCREDIBLY unique structure, and it's almost entirely the fault of the game's (known and documented) tumultuous development.

It, uh, basically shipped without an ending.

Now, given that it did that, I think it did it brilliantly by using the concept of "not really having an ending" as itself a form of structure; something that ties into the game's overall plot. It's a brilliant concept and it... almost works.

The thing that makes it not actually work is that you can tell the delivery is half-assed. It needed more time in the oven.

Some incredibly important things live purely in the land of "utter speculation argued on internet forums until the game got a port that shipped with a timeline that straight up added new information," and other things are explained 10 different times by the time you get through it, which makes the mystery solving experience—to use a gameplay term—very unbalanced. During the epilogue, one character literally tells you when he answers a rather important question, that the explanation might not feel satisfying.

It's like you can hear the writers themselves saying "we didn't have the time to fully workshop this, so have... something."

And yet. This game is, in a way, Amadeus's grandfather.

It was my very first Big Brain Bullshit Mystery VN, so I had no genre expectations. I thought that spending 6 hours after finishing a game discussing Theories with someone else was peak fucking gameplay. I loved that some things were left open-ended and you had to discover the truth for yourself.

I still feel that way. The difference is just that now I have played other VNs, and have more experience as a writer, and can really tell when something's just not properly finished.

The problem with Remember11 is not the fact it doesn't have an ending! It's not that some items are left open to interpretation! It's just the fact that it didn't get enough time to properly pace & weave all the threads together, and that one of the things left "open to interpretation" is... one of the most fundamental driving forces of the game's plot. Lol.

So what have I taken from Remember11?

I prefer games that make you draw some connections for yourself. I love it when some things are unambiguously true, and you will understand them if you're paying attention; but they will never be stated outright. I want that experience of having to put some of my own thoughts into a story to fully understand it, and for that story to refuse to tell me itself that I'm right.

If a game is going to have a big plot twist you might as well make it nuts. This is personal preference, but like I said earlier, the plot twist in Remember11 is so fucking out there that I'll never be mad at it for being, um, very hard to swallow if you think about it too hard. If a mystery isn't going to be very well-balanced, I'd rather one that makes me go "what the fuck" than one that underwhelms.

...I have just sacrificed a lot of credibility as a writer by admitting that second point, haven't I? But it's true. If a game has "big plot twist" as its central identity, I want it to just go all out. I've been underwhelmed by plot twists that were properly earned and set-up just because I thought they were boring.

Well, please let me know in a few years how Amadeus lands for you. I don't think it's on the scale of Remember11's twist, but I still hope that no matter what, you don't find it boring.

Umineko no Naku Koro Ni

Yeah, you all saw this one coming. But Remember11 is important context for why it landed so, so well for me.

This is a game that takes what I loved from Remember11—that some things are never confirmed in the text, even though they are true; that it has almost no gameplay and yet I spent hours upon hours theorizing in a dedicated notebook while reading it—and presented it in the form of a VN that is. You know. Actually finished.

Reading through Umineko in 2022 is the reason Amadeus exists. I was in grad school studying media composition surrounded by Big Budget AAA Game Aesthetics, trying desperately to maintain my own values, and here was this beacon of masterful writing with MS Paint sprites and music that is in-your-face with fun melodies and audible looping points.

And it's the best goddamn game ever made.

It spoke to all of my personal values and preferences in mystery that were kindled alllllll those years ago playing Remember11, and showed me that the experience could be delivered properly. It reminded me that something can be a little jank in presentation if it's got a clear enough vision.

Without love, it cannot be seen.

What did I take from Umineko?

It is better to sacrifice polish in service of vision than the opposite. A game with janky presentation that is fueled by strong intentionality can still shine through and move people. It might even hit harder if it nails the delivery, because you might have lower expectations and get totally blown away.

I was right about Remember11!!! It is, in fact, the ideal mystery experience to have to put together some things yourself.

That first priority of mine is... probably quite clear. I don't think anyone is ever going to accuse me of making a game that sacrifices vision for polish.

The second point is where I, again, have to wait and see where my own delivery lands for people once we get there. How ambiguously can something be communicated while preserving its truth? I don't know. But there are some truths that I don't intend to spell out, but if you're following along, I think you will realize they are true nevertheless.

Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni

...and this is where I'd put a banger VN opening... iF I HAD ONE. The anime OP will have to suffice, but for the purposes of this post, I am specifically talking about the VN:

Higurashi was the other half of the recipe that kicked me into action and got me to actually make Amadeus.

Because while Umineko felt "approachable" in presentation, its writing is VERY tight. It didn't feel reasonable to assume that I would write a mystery-genre-defining masterpiece on my first attempt, so using it as an inspiration still felt a little daunting.

Higurashi, on the other hand, is nowhere near as tightly-written. It's good! It's VERY good. But there are a lot of terribly-paced reveals, last-minute asspulls, and moments of "if this one single character said literally anything this whole time the entire mystery would have been trivial."

It is carried completely by its phenomenal character writing, horror delivery, and by the fact that even if the reveals did not really land, it presented a complex puzzle that was really fun to try and solve.

I have a two-page spread in my notebook where I literally cut-and-pasted names & concepts out of paper, and then drew colored lines between them trying to figure things out. I have an honest-to-Oyashiro-sama Higurashi conspiracy board. It's almost entirely wrong, but I will treasure making it forever.

And I wasn't that disappointed by the mediocre mystery reveals, because I still got some satisfaction by solving certain things, emotional catharsis from the PEAK villain story arc, and enjoyment from getting to play around with an interesting mystery to begin with.

What did I take from Higurashi?

If a mystery isn't very well-presented, it can still be enjoyed as a story. Higurashi isn't a great mystery, but it's a deeply moving story and an awesome horror experience. The characters' motivations all make sense and the VN's contents captivate regardless. On the other hand, a mystery with a bad reveal that also treats its characters like plot points—not complex people with complex motivations—will just... be bad all around.

Perhaps most importantly... You can't write an Umineko without first writing a Higurashi.

There's no harm in shooting for the stars. I can certainly TRY to write a genre-defining masterpiece on my first attempt. But realistically, I am far more likely to succeed at writing something closer to Higurashi. Something where certain reveals don't fully land and are a little bullshit-y in how they are paced or justified, but where the heart of the story makes it a powerful experience nevertheless.

I have, at every step of the development process, prioritized making Amadeus impactful and consistent as a story. It's EXTREMELY important to me that even if someone plays it and thinks it's the single worst mystery they've ever played, that the story can still move them.

[SPOILERS REDACTED]

OK there's another VN that was a huge influence, but in this case I truly can't talk about why without everyone immediately guessing something. I am already suspecting that a handful of you are putting two and two together from just this. If that's you, sorry. It's not a super late reveal so I promise I haven't ruined everything. In fact congratulations, you are winning the Amadeus ARG I invented just now. I said earlier I prefer games that make you put stuff together yourself, right? You're winning at Amadeus.

(...There is actually, genuinely, ONE [1] thing i have put into the world that kind of legitimately qualifies as an Amadeus-related ARG. Just by the way. My lips are sealed on it forever, and if nobody ever finds it, that's fine.)

I'm talking way too much about this. Don't ask follow-up questions. I will answer with the shitpost image of Amadeus crying like Battler Umineko.

Honorable Mentions

I have played a lot of VNs, not like an insane amount, but a good chunk. And in some ways all of them have informed my writing. I want to shout out a few more:

Euphoria—similar to Higurashi, its emotional impact made up for some questionable mystery pacing.

New Danganronpa V3—this is a derogatory honorable mention. Next to Remember11, this is one of the most blatantly unfinished games I've ever played, but unlike Remember11, for some reason nobody talks about it like that. NDRV3 is an influence specifically because it was so clearly unfinished that it exposed the seams of how a mystery is constructed, and made the process feel much more approachable to me.

Final Fantasy VIII—not a visual novel, but its glossary menu makes it almost feel like one? And my takeaway from this is that sexy evil witches make up for a lot, and that putting key information exclusively in glossary menus is awesome. Reward me for snooping!!

Amadeus: A Riddle for Thee

So, from this, you have probably gleaned what my big priorities are as a writer setting out to create something way too stupidly ambitious.

That's right.

Obviously, the most important thing your big brain bullshit mystery VN can have is a banger anime opening.

And I've already delivered on that, so I guess it's safe to say that Amadeus: A Riddle for Thee is in fact one of the greatest mysteries ever written??

Thank you for supporting the game, and also, you're welcome:

Thank you to everyone who stopped by my table at Fanime! Whether you played through the demo, signed the guestbook, flipped through the art notebooks, or just took a business card, it was so much fun seeing people face-to-face and sharing my game with people.

If you liked what you played, Episode 1 ~ Waltz is out now!

All relevant links for Amadeus: A Riddle for Thee can be found at linktr.ee/amadeusgame—thank you so much for checking it out. Let's keep in touch!

The same foundation... but a new perspective.

I am really excited to reveal to you all:

🎵 Reharm

Make a song more ‘jazzy’ – that is, more harmonically and/or structurally complex; Personalise a song and make it your own.

🔪 Re-harm

To harm again.

More under the cut. Get Episode 1 here.

I'll keep it short! Amadeus: A Riddle for Thee ~ Episode 1 ~ Waltz is just about ready and will release on November 21. The build does need to be reviewed by Steam but barring something major we should be set to go for this date.

Thank you for your continued interest! In the time leading up to release I will be updating the store page with new screenshots, trailers, and a more up-to-date build of the demo. I'm very proud of how the game came out and I hope you enjoy playing it.

"I heard this game has child murder in it, is that true?"

Hell yeah it does. Not onscreen though, if you wanted onscreen child murder specifically, I'm deeply sorry to disappoint you.

"Why are you developing a game exclusively for 4x3 aspect in 2025?"

Because I am a hipster.

"How many ceramic objects were shattered in the making of this game?"

Two. One for sound design and one for the menu/UI visual design.

(It's digital art, but the shapes of the porcelain pieces in the background were created by photographing a jar I smashed with a hammer and making a 1-bit layer mask from the picture.)

"This game looks more melancholy than intense. Will it actually appeal to werewolfheads?"

I have testimony from a Certified Werewolfhead that this game has The Werewolf Juice. This person is transmasculine and owns not one, not two, but three different Home Depot werewolves. You can trust their testimony.

It's just got other stuff going on too.

"How long is the game?"

If you just read through it and enjoy the story, it's about an hour or two, depending on reading speed/how much you enjoy clicking on stuff for flavor text. But because I am writing it in the vein of bullshit big brain VN's with a million layers of insane plot twists (NONE of which are revealed in this episode—think of this like Higurashi episode 1), you can also probably spend 4 hours replaying it and scrutinizing things and making a red string pushpin conspiracy board.

So your mileage may vary.

"Why is the protagonist such a shithead?"

Because he is sixteen and a noble's son. He's got Luke fon Fabre syndrome. I actually think he turned out pretty well, considering.

"Did you name Amadeus that because of Mozart's name being Wolfgang and you thought that it would be funny to name a werewolf after someone named Wolfgang?"

Yes.

"What would you say is the biggest inspiration for Amadeus?"

You'd think that would be Umineko, but in some secret way, it's actually Sonic Adventure 1 for the SEGA Dreamcast.

It was developed on a laptop I painted Beatrice on by hand. But then I also have drawn Amadeus doing the Sonic Adventure pose. So they're both important, really.

"Do choices matter in this game?"

Not really. There are only two "choices" and they're basically just asking "do you want to see an awesome bad ending before you proceed with the story?"

And obviously you should, but you don't have to.

"What was the budget for this game and how was it allocated?"

My budget was negative lots, considering the grad school student loans, and all of it was allocated towards making a sicknasty soundtrack with tons of live recorded performances by awesome musicians. Zero dollars were put towards anything else whatsoever.

"Were any unions busted in the making of this game?"

Yes, but not by me! At the last job I was working while also developing Amadeus in my spare time, I staged a pro-union protest speech due to gross inequality in the workplace and got placed on administrative leave. :)

"What's up with his forearms?"

They're made of porcelain. You know, normal stuff.

"Indie games take forever to actually come out. When is this one actually coming out?"

GREAT NEWS. EPISODE 1 IS COMPLETE, AND THE FINAL BUILD HAS ALREADY BEEN APPROVED BY STEAM FOR RELEASE ON NOVEMBER 21!

Steam | itch.io | More links