#mirror talks

“Care to share?” Remus asks, breaking off his focus from Bill who was sharing the way Snape had started to belittle Harry and mock him for letting him get in and see his memories of snogging Cho in various places around the castle.  Bill had stepped in, but Snape found ways to mock Harry anyway.

Sirius grins, “Harry’s girlfriend wants to have a sexual relationship with him in what I could only assume is the prefects’ bathroom based on the comment of ‘bubbles’ as a hint if he gets the date right.  Send help he says.”

Bill and Remus burst out laughing.

“You sure he’s ready for that?”  Remus asks.  “I mean, they’ve been dating for months, but he’s kind of behind…”

Sirius shrugs.  “To be honest, are we ever really ready for it?”

“No, but – but I think there’s a big difference here,” Remus counters.  “You literally just gave him the sex talk.”

“Fair point, but the twins were there, too, and they’ve definitely had sex,” Sirius retorts.

Bill frowns.  “I always assumed they knew everything.”

“I think they did,” Sirius states.  “Just wanted in on the conversation, maybe to help ease things along for Harry.  I mean, Harry was pretty quick to let them in and seemed relieved that they’d make jokes whenever he looked particularly embarrassed.”

“Ah, maybe they were trying to make up for what happened at the start of the holidays – even since they got banned from quidditch,” Bill offers.  “I know they haven’t reacted well to Harry’s defense of you over mum and dad.”

Sirius nods.  “Most people don’t understand, but Harry’s my kid and I’m his parent – your parents are nice people, they gave him jumpers and food, but it’s just not the same…”

“You don’t have to explain,” Bill offers.  “I know – I see the two of you together and it’s obvious.  Plus, you’re the one that has constantly supported him.”

Sirius smiles.  “Thank you.  It’s been hard to deal with people who state otherwise, and I appreciate the help now.”

“Good.”

“So, what are you going to tell him?” Remus questions.

“Er – I don’t know.”  Sirius frowns.  

He knows that Cho’s been leading the entire relationship, and that Harry’s definitely a bit unsure about things.  He could tell Harry that he shouldn’t do it, but his kid might just do it because Sirius tells him not to.  He could suggest that Harry’s not ready (because Sirius isn’t sure that he is), but that would just make Harry want to prove that he is ready – even when he isn’t.  

“I suppose that I could just advise him on what the bubble comment means,” Sirius shrugs.  “Ultimately, it has to be his choice and he wouldn’t be the first person to have a first time he’s not ready for.”

“True,” Bill states.  “Still, since it sounds like your first time might not have been something you were ready for – maybe you could…”

Sirius clears his throat.  “Nope, can’t do that.”

“Why not?  It’s not a big deal – obviously, he’s okay talking about sex with you…”

“Nope – nope.  Just trust me.  I can’t tell him – it would be … just awful.”

Given that Harry has no idea about Sirius’ relationship with James and the awkwardness of explaining the way they tumbled into bed that first time, Sirius absolutely could not tell Harry about his first time.

Remus is giving him a look, “Was it…?”

“Yes, and that’s exactly why I can’t tell him,” Sirius says, giving him a look.  “And given he’s the only one…”

“Damn, you’re always so lucky.  The only person you’ve been with is the love of your life,” Remus says, jealously.  

Sirius gives him a disgruntled look.  “Yeah, I’m so lucky.”

“Oh, right, sorry,” Remus grimaces and goes silent.

Bill’s frowning across from them, “Okay, one of you has to explain.”

Sirius shakes his head, but Remus says, “Just tell him – you know that he won’t judge you.”

“Oh, fine,” Sirius sighs, when he sees Bill nod.  “It’s kind of a unique situation.  See, Lily and I were as close as James and I were – so, she knew that I fancied him, even though I didn’t tell her, and she saw us a few times while we were hiding our relationship in sixth year.  In seventh, when it was clear that James did still fancy Lily, too, I – I told him that he should give it a try when she asked him out.  That he had to date her to know that it was me he wanted to be with –”

“How could she do that to you?” Bill asks, appalled.  “You said she was your friend.”

Sirius is taken aback; he hadn’t even considered what Lily had been thinking trying to get James to herself if it wasn’t for the fact that she always wanted to share him.  She’d only asked knowing that she intended to share the whole time.  

“Er – well, she – er – she always planned for what happened,” Sirius states, noting Bill’s frown.  “Which is that she knew that I’d give James my blessing to find out and if everything went well that she’d be able to tell us her master plan.”

“Master plan?”

“To share him,” Sirius states, thinking about that moment when Lily pulled them both up into the dorm and said that they needed to talk.

Sirius had been avoiding even looking in either of their directions for two weeks and had immediately told her that there was nothing to talk about.

“Don’t lie to me, Si.  We both know that you’ve been heartbroken ever since I asked James out,” Lily states, plainly.

“Not true,” Sirius chokes out.  “It’s just – I’ve had a lot going on.  Wanted to catch up on homework.”

“Please, I’m not stupid.  You’ve been my best friend for ages – I know you.  I know that you’re in love with James,” Lily states, crossing her arms as she stands in front of the door.  

Sirius coughs.  He couldn’t deny it and one glance at James says that he’s still in love with Sirius, too.

“And I know that James is in love with you, and yet, he still went out with me because you’re some sort of self-sacrificing masochist,” Lily states.

“I am not – I just – I couldn’t hold him back.  He’s fancied you for ages – and yeah, we’ve … had fun together, but if he’s happier with you – I just I want him to be happy.  That’s how this works, right?  I love him, a lot, and they say when you love someone – all you want is for them to be happy.  I love James,” Sirius states, giving him a loving look, before turning to look at Lily.  “And I want him to be happy – and if that’s not with me, if that’s with you… well, he found an amazing girl.  He’s got great taste.  You’ll take great care of him.”

Lily’s got tears in her eyes, obviously touched.  “You’re such a dunce.  Didn’t you think that there’s a reason that I’m confronting you right now?”

“Yeah, to warn me that you know about our past and –”

“No because I want to share James,” Lily states.

“What?” Sirius and James ask together.  Evidently, Sirius isn’t the only one that is being thrown for a loop here.  

“You – you want to share me?” James asks, speaking quickly.  “Like I could – have both of you?”

He looks eager at the possibility, and Sirius could admit his own eagerness.  

“Well, yeah,” Lily chuckles.  “What kind of best friend would I be if I stole your boyfriend away and didn’t consider your feelings on the matter?”

“I – well, I – you knew?” Sirius questions.

“Oh, come on, like all those times you talked him up to me and I’m meant to believe that I shouldn’t have picked up that you were mooning over him,” Lily smiles.  “I know you pretty damn well, Si.  And I know that this won’t be easy, but I also know that I really fancy James and I love you, platonically.  And I know that you love James and love me – differently, obviously.  And I – I really think James wants to make a go of it with me, but he’s totally gone on you, so…”

Sirius wipes away his tears.  “Yeah – I mean, I’m game.”  He looks at James and opens his mouth to ask him what his thoughts are when suddenly James is kissing him.  

He missed kissing James over the last two weeks, so he doesn’t hesitate to kiss him back.  

After several moments, he hears, “Guess I’ll leave you two alone now – you can have him tonight, but tomorrow, he’s mine.”

He breaks away just long enough to say, “Deal,” before refocusing on his boyfriend.  Now, his again.

“Earth to Sirius,” Remus says, waving a hand in front of his face.  

“Er – sorry,” Sirius shakes his head.  “Anyway, ‘bout two weeks of dating James and she offers to share him with me.  Something about how James and I were gone on each other, but James also fancied her – Lily and I were best friends and – and it just made sense.  I mean, if I weren’t gay, she’d probably of tried a true threesome, but I am – so sharing was the best she’d get.”

“Why – why doesn’t anyone know?” Bill questions, clearly accepting the different relationship.

“Because I’m a Black or I was … well, I never got to marry him, but I always considered myself a Potter.”  He clears his throat.  “With being in the Order, Lily as a muggleborn and me as a Black – they were targets because they were my friends.  If anyone knew about the situation – I just couldn’t take the chance.”

Sirius shakes his head, looking down at his locket.  “Not that It matters – they became the biggest targets in the war anyway.”  

He doesn’t have to finish with what happened.  Obviously, the war ended in devastation and that’s the end of their story.

“I’m sorry,” Bill states.  “I thought it was bad before, now…”  He pauses, and gets a confused look on his face, “Harry doesn’t know?”

Sirius shakes his head.  “I don’t really know how to tell him, and they aren’t here so, he doesn’t need to know, but yeah, I can’t tell him that the only person – not just our first time – that I had sex with is his father.”

“Fair,” Bill states.  “Maybe I could try talking to him.  You know, I regret my first time – I was inexperienced, I barely knew her, but I had been interested because I heard all about how great it was – so I rushed into it.”

“I’m sure teenage hormones helped,” Sirius teases.

“Oh, definitely,” Bill jokes.  “But yeah, I definitely rushed, and I wish I’d waited somewhat.  The second person that I slept with was much better.  At least I had a connection and had discovered more about myself to be comfortable.”

“Well, you do see him every week.  Maybe you could talk to him?” Sirius offers.  Obviously, Sirius’ll try to talk to Harry about gifts, and the special date since it’s also their six-months ‘anniversary’ and Valentine’s Day.

“Of course.  You going to write a note back?” Bill asks.  

“Of course.”

Dear Kid,

First things first, I might suggest that bubbles means that she likes to get clean, maybe even with you.  

Second, you don’t need help.  You’re going to be just fine.  Plan a date, make her something nice, buy her some candy and flowers, and remember that it’s also been six months on the fourteenth.  Just try and be romantic, but also be yourself.

Don’t focus on being the perfect boyfriend or whatever plans that she may or may not have, just do your best and if things happen and you’re ready for those things… then, let things fall where they may.  

Love, your Pads.  

“There – some basic advice.  Hopefully, it helps.”

“I’m sure it will.”

***

Sirius had spoken with Harry extensively about his preparations for his Valentine’s Day and hoped the day would go well for him.  Given that he knows of Cho’s after date plans, Sirius figures that Harry will be busy all day and thus, pours himself a drink since he’s alone today.

Sirius hadn’t expected to hear from Harry today, given the holiday, he quite expected that Harry would sneak off and be a normal teenager with his girlfriend, and he’d hear about how it went tomorrow, instead, just after dinner, he hears his mirror going off.

“Hey kid, thought you’d be busy today,” Sirius states, peering into the mirror uncertainly.

“Yeah, well, it must’ve been the worst date in world,” Harry states, looking miserable.

“Why?  You and Cho have been getting along splendidly.  She liked your Christmas present, and I told you about the romance and stuff… she clearly had a plan…”

“Yeah, well, apparently, Hermione had some bright idea to force me to talk to Rita Skeeter about what happened in the Graveyard.  Only she didn’t tell me that.  She just told me that it was really important, and I had to meet her at noon at the Three Broomsticks.  Wouldn’t take no for answer.”

“Oh, no, Kid,” Sirius groans.  “Didn’t she think we would’ve come up with that idea on our own if you were ready to talk about it?  And in the middle of your date, too?  A very special date that she would obviously know about?”

“Of course she didn’t.  Or she did and just didn’t care – she’s not a fan of Cho, so it’s probably the second option.  Especially given that she’s not exactly known for caring about all that.  She has an idea, and you have to agree, or she’ll badger you about it.”  Harry shakes his head, furiously.  “Apparently though, that wasn’t the worst part.  The Slytherins were determined to cause grief by seeing Cho and I together and bringing up Cedric, who we haven’t exactly talked about in a while, and I thought we were doing okay, and suddenly she wanted to talk about him…”

“And because of what happened and all the stuff with the Azkaban breakout and what not, you’re not exactly anxious to talk about that on a date,” Sirius finishes for him.  Maybe Cho isn’t as ready for next steps with Harry as she thinks.

“Exactly.  So to distract from that situation, I bring up meeting Hermione and – and I don’t even know what happened.  Next thing I know she’s talking about her and Cedric dating and then she mentioned Roger Davies asking her out and we’re at this horrid tea shop and she’s crying and then she just took off all upset.”

“Aw, kid, she was trying to make you jealous because she’s jealous of Hermione,” Sirius states.  That much he’s absolutely sure of.  Cho has been jealous of Hermione since the beginning of term, as evidence by all of the arguing, and Harry bringing up meeting her in the middle of their special date probably provoked those barely hidden jealous feelings.

“What?  Why?  She’s just my friend.  And we’ve talked about it – I mean, I’ve been with her since September…”

“She’s a girl who’s been by your side for years, and you literally told her that you would cut your date short so you could go see her,” Sirius explains.  “A very special date, I might add.”

“It wasn’t like that!”

“I know, believe me – I do.  It’s just to her, she doesn’t get it so… that’s where her mind jumped to.”

Harry sighs, “So, what do I do?”

“Get her a present, some flowers and sweets, and write her an apology note explaining what happened.  Send it with Hedwig and give her some time to accept it.”  Sirius pauses, “Your dad always used to make these glass flowers that would start as a seed and grow into her favorite flower until Saturday when it would start all over again.  Since it’s glass, it can’t die – maybe I can tell you how to do that?”

Harry smiles, “That – that would be great.”

“But before I do that – do you want to talk about what’s going on with what Hermione did?” Sirius questions.  Given Harry’s reaction to the other kids eavesdropping on Christmas Eve, it would make sense that Harry’s not exactly thrilled about Hermione trying to force him to talk – it’s like she learned nothing from Harry spending days as Snuffles to avoid talking to any of them.  

“It was fine.”

“Kid, don’t lie to me.  It can’t have been easy to deal with Skeeter, let alone answering all of her probing questions about the most traumatic event in your life.  One you barely want to talk to me about let alone anyone else.”

“I don’t know why I bother to try and downplay things to you,” Harry mutters.

“I don’t either – we both know I know you well enough to read between the lines.”  Sirius would chuckle, but this isn’t exactly the right time.

Harry sighs.  “Fine, it was awful.”

“That’s better.  Go on.”

“I was reeling from the Cho thing, and I show up – there’s Hermione with Skeeter and Luna.  Apparently, she had decided that the only way that we could get people to understand what happened last year and be on my side was for me to tell Skeeter everything and let her question me about every last detail of what happened.”

“Go on, tell me what everything.”

And he does.  Harry explains how he reiterated everything that he’d been through – naming names and giving the excruciating details of everything he’d been through.  He’d spent hours being grilled with Skeeter making jokes about how she’s really better off writing an article people want to read – ie, him having some sort of psychotic break from reality due to being in the tournament and wanting to kill for the win and then, reacting badly to being able to follow through.  

Hermione had been blackmailing Skeeter with being an Animagus, which caused her to agree to writing the story with the truth and only the truth.  It still put Harry in a position to tell everyone everything he’d been through when he didn’t want to talk about it and with zero support.  Absolutely no consideration about Harry’s feelings at all.  It makes Sirius absolutely furious.

“You know, I don’t even know how I feel about any of it – I don’t feel better.  I don’t think I even care if those who haven’t believed in me all this time believe me because I had to relive the worst night of my life – and it is the worst night because it’s replaced the moment of hearing my parents dying for me when I was a baby when I ran into the Dementors this summer.”  Harry’s angry – rightfully so.  

“I am so sorry, kid.  I wish that I could help you – do something, anything, but I can’t.”

“I know – I just … what am I going to do when people react to what I went through?  And did Hermione think about how I’m affected by this?  Or how Cho might be affected?  I – I haven’t even been able to work up the nerve to tell her and now, it’s like I’m saying I don’t care about her feelings on the situation, and she deserves better than that.”

“I agree.”

“I just – I feel devastated that my best friend thought this was an okay situation to put me in.  That she thought the greater good of everyone knowing was more important than my feelings on the matter.  I already told the DA and my friends more than once that I didn’t want to talk about it, and she goes and does this?”  Harry shakes his head.  “I thought we were friends, I thought I mattered more to her.  It just – it feels like I don’t.”

Sirius aches to be able to reassure Harry and give him a hug.  Take him away from everything, but before he could think of something that would help, he and Harry hear a knock on the door.  Harry hides the mirror in his bag, but it’s still activated, so Sirius can hear everything.

“Harry?”

“Cho, and Luna, what are you –”

“I brought Cho here,” Luna, obviously, states.  “It became very apparent to me that you had no idea what Hermione had planned, and I felt it was very unfair, so I wanted to apologize and give you the opportunity to explain to Cho what happened when I saw how upset she was.  I assumed neither of you knew.”

Harry clears his throat.  “Thank you, Luna, I had no idea.  She just told me it was important and made me promise, which I shouldn’t have done, and if I had known what it was for – I wouldn’t have.”

“What was it for?” Cho asks, icily.  Clearly still upset.

Harry takes a deep breath. “Hermione has been keeping Skeeter from writing bad articles about us due to discovering that Skeeter is a beetle Animagus, it’s how she obtains her information illegally by spying on them.”

“Blackmail?  Wow, when I thought she couldn’t sink any lower,” Cho scoffs.  “Why does that matter?”

“Because after the breakout at Azkaban, Hermione had the bright idea to make Skeeter write everything that happened honestly after the third task – and have Luna’s father publish it in the Quibbler.  She reached out to both and then this morning insisted that I meet them (well, her) at noon at the three broomsticks so I could…. Tell my story…”

Harry trails off and there’s silence for several moments.

“You mean, she blindsided you with woman who has ruined your reputation and is the reason no one believes you in the first place to force you to tell the world about one of the worst nights of your life?” Cho demands.  Obviously, Harry nods because the next second, Cho yells, “I’m going to kill her!”

Clearly taken aback, “You can’t kill her, but yes, I am angry with her.”

“Not angry enough.  She ruined our date and anniversary to force you to relive your trauma to the one person that is the reason you’ve been going through such hell this year.  Skeeter started this and – and Hermione – no, no this is not okay.”  

What follows is a clearly angry Cho storming out of the room, And Luna offering, “I thought I could set you up with a make-up date and give you the chance to approve the article…” she obviously hands him something, “let me know if you approve.  Sorry, again.”

And silence reigns.

Harry clearly shoves the prewritten articles into his bag and pulls the mirror back out.  “Er – I don’t know how much you heard, but I – er – I need to intervene.  Talk to you later?”

“Of course, later kid, good luck.”

***

Sirius would have loved to have been a student in the Gryffindor common room that evening when Neville, upon hearing what Hermione had done, had given Cho the password into the dorm allowing her to berate Hermione about the situation in front of everyone.  Of course, Hermione hadn’t taken it sitting down, meaning that there had been an all-out row smack dab in the middle of the common room.

Harry had arrived fairly quickly afterward, and so had McGonagall when another prefect felt it was their responsibility to do something but didn’t agree with Hermione enough to speak up for her.  The row had ended when McGonagall insisted the three of them accompany her to her office.

According to Harry, many students and even McGonagall had been appalled by Hermione’s lack of concern for Harry’s feelings on the matter and ambushing him with the idea despite the fact that many of them wanted to know what happened that night (and felt that Harry should tell everyone what happened, clearly not caring about his feelings, either).  Hippocrates.

Although she didn’t condone Cho’s behavior, either, she could understand where they were both coming from.  Hermione had wanted to help the greater good, while Cho had been solely focused on her boyfriend.  The end of the discussion resulted in detention for both (for causing a scene), and McGonagall reminding Harry that it is his choice to do the article, but there are pros and cons to both options and to truly consider it.  

Harry had spent the better part of the next three days debating back and forth (and not speaking to Hermione) before he admitted to Sirius, “I think I should do it, but I don’t want Hermione to feel vindicated.”

Sirius nods, “You’re worried that it will affect the public’s perception and as a result, she’ll feel that she did the right thing – that it is okay to sacrifice your feelings and to do things that greatly affect you without consulting you.”

Harry nods.  “But I – so many people have come up to me asking if those rumors were true, that I spoke to a reporter to tell all, and that they’ve all been wondering and that it would help them believe me.”

Sirius frowns, “And what have you said to these nosy gits?”

“Nothing because Cho immediately took points and the twins or Ron and Neville declared that they’re the next target of the twins’ pranks for daring to even approach me about the situation.”  Harry states, trying not to laugh.  “Seamus has literally asked every day and has been pranked every day.  I don’t think that’s helping.”

“It does make you feel a bit better, though, doesn’t it?” Sirius questions with a smile.

Harry nods.  “It does, but it also helps me feel like it’s going to help our side.  I’d really like to do anything that hurts Voldemort and given that I – you know, I already did the hard part…”

“It’s your choice.  I support you, no matter what.”

Harry smiles.  “Best Pads in the world.”

“Helps that I have world’s best kid,” Sirius grins.  

“I should go, I love you.”

On Christmas Eve, Sirius decides to play the piano that he had moved to the sitting room.  Harry sits beside him, smiling even as he misses the keys.  “I’m so bad at this.”

Sirius chuckles.  “It takes time to learn – I wouldn’t expect you to be able to learn in an afternoon.”

“I learned flying in an afternoon,” Harry counters.

“That’s natural talent, general speaking it takes time to hone a new skill.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”  Harry looks very disappointed and unhappy to be playing the piano with Sirius.

Sirius frowns, “If you don’t want to learn it – that’s okay.”

Harry shrugs, “You said that it was something you did when you were younger – so I am fine learning.”

“Kid, if you don’t want to learn – we don’t have to do it,” Sirius repeats.  The last thing he wants to do is force something on Harry.

“But you want to teach me,” Harry replies, his eyes big and curious.

“I want to do something that we both enjoy,” Sirius counters.  Harry’s making a face that tells him that he’s not exactly comfortable with the idea of voicing anything against what Sirius may want, so Sirius takes the initiative.  “How ‘bout this?  We can talk about the map and how it all works like I told you I would when we have the time.”  

Harry lights up, evidently excited about learning more about his and James’ talents and efforts.  “I’d like that.”

“Why don’t you go get it?” Sirius asks, and Harry doesn’t even hesitate to rush up the stairs to go get it.

“Er – Sirius,” George asks, hesitantly.  “Why would you know anything about the map?”

“Because he’s Padfoot, obviously,” Harry says, back in record time.  “That’s why I call him, ‘Pads’.”

“What did you do?  Fly up and down the stairs?”  

“I was excited,” Harry replies, looking a little sheepish.  

Sirius is sure he just summoned the map since he knows his magic won’t register but doesn’t want to get into trouble.  “Alright, kid.”

Sirius turns to the twins and grins at the stunned look on the twins faces as Harry says the password and lays it out on the floor.  They move to sit around it, including the twins, Ron, Ginny and Hermione.  

“You never said –” George starts.

“It’s not my fault, you didn’t notice,” Harry states, stiffly.  “I mean, Lupin and Pads haven’t exactly hidden it either – Lupin regularly calls him ‘Padfoot’ and Pads regularly calls him ‘Moony’.”

“Someone called?” Remus asks appearing in the doorway.  “Is that the map?  Why is it out now?”

“Harry has been curious about the map for some time, and I thought I’d explain a bit about what we did with it.  How it came to be,” Sirius offers.  “Why don’t you join us?”

“On the floor?” Remus questions, looking quite like he’d rather not sit on the floor.  “I’m a little too old for that.”

Sirius gives him a look.  “I’m older than you.”

Remus rolls his eyes, playfully, but still sits, smiling.  “Only by a few months.  Always reminding us that you’re the oldest.”

“And yet, I wasn’t the first name on the map,” Sirius jokes.  He had spent months arguing that because he’s the oldest that he should get to have his name first on the map.

“If we had gone in birth order, it wouldn’t have sounded as well.  It works better in the order it’s in,” Remus retorts.

“You’re just saying that because you’re first,” Sirius laughs.  It was such a familiar argument that he could almost imagine being in the dormitory arguing the first time.

“No, Padfoot, Wormtail, Moony and Prongs just doesn’t roll off the tongue the way that Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs does,” Remus states.  “It’s just a bonus that it means that I get to be first.”

They both laugh, before Sirius turns to the kids, particularly his kid.  “So!  First, we should probably start with why we created the map…”

“... it has nothing to do with the fact that we are nosy gits,” Remus finishes, trying to say it with a straight face and utterly failing.  

They burst out laughing, before Sirius clears his throat.  “We didn’t use the map for that, it was more that we just wanted to sneak around more confidently.”  

Particularly he and James, who wanted to get away with some of their more interesting fun that he would definitely not be talking about to the kids.  

“Anyway,” Sirius coughs.  “It wasn’t hard to find a big enough parchment, but it’s incredibly hard to get all of the details of Hogwarts and it’s moving parts, so we had to spend a lot of time drawing and sneaking around to get everything in detail.”

“So this is all hand drawn?” Harry asks, looking at the extreme details.

Sirius nods.  “Once we had a section that was accurate and verified, we’d transfer it onto the map and make it come alive if need be.”

“We spent months researching what spells would work,” Remus offers.  “The whole thing took years to do.”

“Moony was in charge of research since the rest of us were busy …”

“Being nosy gits?” Harry teases.

“Oi!” Sirius says, playfully offended.  The kids laugh.  “No, working on the Animagus transformation.”

“Yes.  They were busy making those strides while I looked up the spells.  The map was a long term project for me since I couldn’t join them in the Animagus project,” Remus explains.  

“Of course we all did our part.  Moony got the spells research, but we each had to learn and apply them.  It takes a little of all of our magic imbedded in the map to power it, so we needed all of us to place the spells on it, but that came last.”

“Right, the spells were applied last, so the next steps after determining the spells we needed, we had to map out the whole castle.”

Sirius grins, “We had so much fun.  Sneaking around the school in James’ cloak.  Plotting ways to get into the professor’s quarters and the common rooms we didn’t have access to.”

“It wasn’t that hard, all you had to do was find a Hufflepuff, Slytherin, and Ravenclaw and stalk them under the cloak and listen for their password and then use it when no one was around,” Remus counters.  “Instead, you came up with elaborate plans just because you could.”

“Yeah, that’s too easy.  We wanted to make it more fun.”  Sirius notices Harry, Ron and Hermione sharing looks.  “What?  We like fun, elaborate plans.  Why make it easy?”

Unfortunately, it seems like something else is going on because Hermione puts her face in her hands and is muttering about a month with a cat face for no reason.

He and Remus share a look.  “Someone want to explain?”

He’s giving Harry a look, hoping that he’ll be honest with him.

Harry grimaces.  “Ron and I might have used Polyjuice potion in second year to sneak into Slytherin and interrogate Malfoy on the heir of Slytherin and the Chamber of Secrets stuff.”

“Except he knew nothing, and Hermione spent a month with a cat face because she accidentally used cat hair,” Ron adds.

“And it was all for nothing because we could’ve just used the cloak,” Hermione groans.

Sirius isn’t sure how to react to this explanation, but Remus appears to be curious.

“How did you get Polyjuice?”

“We made it ourselves.  Tricked Lockhart so we could get the book with the recipe,” Harry states looking uncertainly at Sirius.

“Yeah, wasn’t that hard.  The git signs anything you put in front of him,” Ron jokes.

“We made it in Moaning Myrtles bathroom,” Hermione says.  “Rarely anyone goes in there.”

“But that was a good thing because it turns out to hold the entrance to the chamber,” Harry finishes.

That one statement was enough to piece together some unfortunate pieces that Harry was somehow pulled into the vaguely mentioned chamber of secrets incident that no one has given him the explicit details of and honestly, he’s rather freaked out.  

He almost can’t breathe at the thought of Harry battling some unknown monster at twelve.  He looks at Harry, who’s clearly worried about him, and he chokes out, “Need a minute” before rushing out of the room.  He’s not sure where to go – but as he changes into Padfoot, he finds himself rushing up the stairs to be with Buckbeak.  The hippogriff would help calm him down just by his presence.

He transforms into himself to enter the room and bows to Buckbeak, who bows back.  Then, he transforms into Padfoot.  He didn’t need to talk… just escape.

How had his kid ended up in the Chamber of Secrets?  How had he ended up in deadly situations year after year?  What was he going to do with his kid?  This kid that’s going to give him a heart attack someday?

All he knows is that he has got to get himself together.  His reaction has probably freaked out Harry, and no doubt, Harry might second guess telling him things now.

In fact, he’s probably worried about Sirius going off the deep end and getting himself in trouble.

“Oh good, you’re in here.  I was worried for a second,” Harry says, confirming Sirius’ thoughts.  He enters the room, bows to Buckbeak, who bows back, and then sits down beside Sirius as Padfoot.  “I’m sorry that I haven’t told you about some of the things that have happened to me.”

Sirius gives him a look, unsure if he should transform.  

“But you probably want to hear at least some of what happened… since Padfoot helps, maybe I could tell you now?”

Sirius gives him a nod.  He’s not sure that he wants to know, but if Harry’s willing to confess, maybe he wants to talk about it.

Harry smiles, nervously.  “Well, I’ll start with first year, most of it was good, but…”

Harry details his Hogwarts letters and his magical incidents before he knew, confessing about the cupboard which has Sirius growling.  He tells Sirius not to worry about it that it’s over now and someday they’ll get what’s coming to them.  Then he talks about Hagrid, everything in Diagon Alley, the incident with the train, meeting everyone.

“The number of people that thought it was okay or a good idea to claim that they already know me was appalling.  I hate it so much; I can’t even explain.  Anyway…”

He details school life, his awful professors not doing anything for him, the incident with the Remembrall and getting on the quidditch team.

Sirius is actually really proud of that.  He’s sure James was screaming excitedly in the afterlife the same way he would’ve been had he’d seen it.

Then, he goes into the midnight duel, the mess at Halloween – saving Hermione, the attack on him during the quidditch game, the Christmas holidays (poor kid), finding Flamel, and Hagrid’s baby dragon mess (the reaction to the whole story of the hatching, arranging transport, getting caught, the sheer absurdity of the points and detention in the out of bound forbidden forest, plus the students’ reaction).

“It wasn’t too bad,” Harry assures.  “I’ve now dealt with worse.  It was hard at the time – I seriously wanted to quit quidditch it was so bad.  Can’t imagine what life would’ve been like without it, now, but I really just wasn’t happy – being unwanted and treated like that was something I’m used to at the Dursleys, but to suddenly have that at school by my own teammates and housemates – it sucked.”

Sirius whines.  He hated thinking of his kid suffering so much that he wanted to quit his favorite sport.

“Anyway, we thought Snape was going to steal the stone because of the incident during Detention and what I’d seen between him and Quirrell.  We tried to go to Dumbledore but he was flying to the Ministry and so we told McGonagall.  She dismissed us.”

Harry pauses, “You’re going to be pretty mad at this next bit, but I just want to remind you that I am alive.”

Sirius gives him a look.  That statement doesn’t make him any less angry at what he suspects happened.  If Harry went after the stone because McGonagall decided to dismiss him, and nearly died, someone’s getting bitched at.  

Harry goes on anyway, explaining about the situation with sneaking out and down the trapdoor.  Sirius is suspicious of the situation with how it easy it was for the kids to do it.  By the time he gets to Quirrell and the mirror, Sirius is furious.  It was some sort of setup; a test of sorts and he’s pissed.  He’s growling throughout the explanation, which barely lessons when Harry wakes up in the hospital three days later.  Three days.  The thought that his kid was unconscious, in the hospital, for three days has him so furious – even as Padfoot – that he knows he’s going to rage for hours against Dumbledore the next time he sees him.  

Harry’s looking at him, worriedly.  He stops growling and rubs his head against Harry’s hand, hoping that he’ll start petting again and continue.

Harry sighs and finishes out the year.  Sirius is genuinely upset that all of a sudden people like Harry again.  That he had to save the day to get treated right.  It makes him furious.

Harry doesn’t stop, launching into second year and how boring the Dursleys before stopping, “What kicks off the whole Chamber of Secrets mess starts at the Dursleys, and I need you to promise that you won’t go kill them.”

Sirius snorts.  If he was going to kill the Dursleys, he would’ve done it already.  Unfortunately, he’s painfully clear that no matter how many people hurt his kid, he can’t do anything, yet.  Nothing legal anyway.  

Harry takes that as the promise.

“Alright, well, Dobby was aware of a plan to give a special object to Hogwarts and start the whole nonsense because he was a Malfoy elf, and he knew what Malfoy was up to… so he tried to stop me from going to Hogwarts to protect ‘the great Harry Potter’, blah, blah, blah….”

Sirius snorts, again.  That elf certainly has a thing for his kid.  

Harry continues, clearly not bothered by Sirius’ snort.  He talks about being excited for Vernon’s proclamation at breakfast and thinking it meant he remembered Harry’s birthday and detailing what was expected of him.  Sirius starts growling, again, angry that Harry spent his twelfth birthday all alone, doing chores, being barely fed and then, spending the evening pretending he didn’t exist.  

Only that wasn’t the worst bit.

Dobby had nearly cost Harry his life when he deliberately caused issues for Harry.  Obviously, Harry is alive and fine, but even with him glossing over everything that happened when Dobby ruined the Dursleys’ night, Sirius can’t help imagining his twelve-year-old kid locked in a room, slowing starving to death, just because of some house elf that shouldn’t even have been able to find him if Dumbledore’s blood protection was to be believed.  

Dobby might’ve been a boon in recent months, but he’s quite angry that he could’ve gotten Harry killed.  Then again, he’s furious that Dumbledore’s so-called protection – the one that kept Harry at the Dursleys for a month over the summer – obviously didn’t hold up well at all.  Of course, he suspected given the guard on Harry over the summer.  A guard that somehow didn’t notice Harry’s clear abuse.  

Suddenly, he realizes that Harry’s still talking about the twins and Ron saving him by breaking him out, the rest of the summer (no wonder he’s angry that the Weasleys claim that he’s like a son given he almost died, and they still didn’t offer a home), the mess at the floo and bookstore, Dobby’s blocking the barrier and flying a car to school.  

Sirius would be laughing his arse off at that, but right now, he’s just confused.  He has plenty of questions, but it appears that Harry’s too busy talking and petting him to bother checking Sirius for a response.  Sirius wonders if Harry ever told anyone these stories before.  Clearly, now that he’s started, he just wants to let it all out.  

Maybe Sirius should’ve turned into Padfoot over the summer to bond with Harry.

Harry continues talking about the ridiculousness of Colin Creevey being the worst fanboy ever, at least Ginny didn’t follow him around and talk his ear off.  He talks about Lockhart, quidditch (Wood is something else), Snape’s assholery behavior, and the detention.  He talks about everyone knowing everything about him and the weird situation of voices in the walls.

Then, he got to the specifics: The Death Day party (cruel thing to do to his kid who was orphaned that day), the message on the wall, the instant suspicion on Harry (that makes no sense), Dobby and the quidditch game (another thing to be annoyed with Dobby about – downright furious at Wood’s callous words), and Colin’s attack.  

“There was a dueling club – Malfoy sent a snake at me in front of everyone and I spoke to it – that’s how I found out about my parseltongue ability.”  

Here, Harry looks down at him uncertainly.  Sirius nods and rubs his head against Harry’s hand to show that he doesn’t think any differently of Harry for his ability.  He’s surprised that Harry didn’t know that Sirius had already been aware of his ability.  Harry smiles and goes on.

“Dealing with the suspicion was awful.  But it did encourage me to try and figure out who was doing it – hence the Polyjuice potion to sneak into the Slytherin dorms on Christmas…”

He details the second holidays, their plot with the Polyjuice, issues with Myrtle (who had – has – a crush on Harry), and their crazy plan only somewhat working.  The dead-end had been disappointing, but they continued on with investigating as more attacks happen and Harry keeps somehow ending up at every scene.  Poor kid.  

“And then, just when I thought Lockhart couldn’t get any dumber, he decides to ‘celebrate’ the situation by having dwarf cupids running around giving out singing valentines.  Sheer chaos.  He also told us to ask Snape about whipping up a love potion and seriously, he looked like he’d kill anyone who’d ask for something like that.”  Harry laughs, “And of course, despite everyone thinking I was setting a monster about the castle, I got a few valentines.  There’s this one that was so embarrassing, I tried to run and dwarf tackled me  – it was in front of so many people – including Malfoy, of course…”

Sirius is surprised when Harry actually sings it:

His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad

His hair as dark as a blackboard

I wish he was mine, he’s really Devine,

The hero who conquered the Dark Lord

“I tried to laugh it off, but it was so embarrassing and of course the twins spent the evening singing it out loud to me all night – I know it wasn’t them though, in case you’re wondering.”

Of course, Sirius knows that.  He’s betting it was Ginny, but the Creevey kid is a possibility.  

“Anyway, the only good thing was that I figured out how the diary worked…”

Of course, he continues to poke around and finds the diary, which he didn’t know was so special, but had some weird interest in.  He details talking to the diary, which talked back, causing major concern for Sirius.  A diary like that was serious dark magic.  He would’ve been yelling if he could when Harry detailed the diary showing him scenes from 1946.  Something wasn’t right, but with Harry petting him, he couldn’t change back, probably for the best – his anger could scare Harry off from finishing the story.

Harry continues, “I really didn’t want to ask Hagrid about his potential involvement, so we kind of pushed it off, even after the original borrower of the diary ransacked my stuff to get it back.  Especially since things were fine until there was another attack… this time on Hermione right before the quidditch game.”

Sirius whines.  He feels bad that the situation had returned and this time so close to home.  It must have been devastating for Harry and Ron.  However, the attack made most students realize that it wasn’t him.

Harry explains about the resolve to sneak away and discuss with Hagrid only for Fudge and a Lucius Malfoy to show up.  He mentions Fudge and his corrupt ways with the arrest of Hagrid and Dumbledore’s sacking.  Sirius agrees with the latter but disagrees with the former – at least the Azkaban part.  Since Hagrid was seemingly involved the first time (and those attacks stopped with his expulsion), it makes sense to remove him from the school, but not arrest him without proof.  

He explains about Hagrid’s ‘follow the spiders’ message and now, Sirius has a new thing to be angry with Hagrid about.  Sirius is growling throughout the whole story of his and Ron’s adventure into the nest of man eating spiders.  He couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he had watched Harry’s adventures without knowing that he survives.  

“So we learned a few things, the security was tight, so we barely got the opportunity to visit Hermione, who had ripped out a page regarding the snake in the Chamber.  Once the announcement about Ginny was made, we went back to the common room only to eventually decide that we needed to tell Lockhart what we knew so he’d be prepared.  Unfortunately, the man was a fraud…”

He details the entire events from visiting Lockhart to the return and telling Dumbledore the story.  Sirius had whined and growled at very places, only having Harry present, alive, and petting him had managed to keep him from completely losing mind.  Everything he’d gone through – almost dying – would’ve had Sirius flipping out.  Hogwarts was obviously not safe for his kid and as happy as he is for the Weasleys, he’s very upset that Harry had to save the day.  And even more pissed at Percy for his letter now.

“Now, I know you know about some stuff from third and fourth year, but I figure I could give you some details about the things you missed, like blowing up Aunt Marge…”

Although Sirius was angry at the Dursleys for allowing the situation, listening to his kid talking about standing up for his parents and ballooning Vernon’s sister was a delight, too bad she wouldn’t remember it.  Sirius is furious at the Ministry for wanting to send him back after that, but Harry continues on.  He gets through third year much faster than first and second, only getting into the details for things he wants to complain about (like Trelawney and not going to Hogsmeade), things he enjoyed, or things that were fun troublemaking or funny to him (like how he got the map in the first place or the maps reaction to Snape and winning the quidditch cup).  He skips entirely over the events of that night except to explain why they were at Hagrid’s and the time turner.  Overall, somehow a better year.

“And you know most of fourth year, but there’s some details I didn’t tell you, yet, so…”

Sirius could tell that Harry just wants someone to listen and that he’s actually feeling better just talking about everything.  Just like he’d said way back when Sirius gave him the mirror, he never really had someone want to know everything or got to talk about it much.  Hence reveling in the chance to tell Sirius the details of his life.

Even the embarrassing ones.

“Okay, obviously, I was under a lot of stress, but I’m kind of amazed that Cho still fancied me after that,” Harry adds when he details the events leading up to the first task and snapping on Cho, not realizing it was her.  “And of course, I should’ve asked her sooner, but I didn’t know about the ball and honestly, I was disaster with girls last year…”

At this, Sirius gives him a look.

“Oi!  I’ve gotten tons better this year.”  A snort by Sirius and Harry says, “I have!  Just let me tell you how bad I was at the ball…”

Sirius would’ve been laughing so hard that he couldn’t breathe at Harry’s explanation of the ball, but couldn’t as Padfoot, instead he plots ways to embarrass Harry once he can talk while continuing to listen to Harry’s mess up.  He’s right, Harry has gotten loads better with dating since the previous year.  

Eventually though, he gets back to more serious things like the Hagrid mess and figuring out the egg clue.  It’s just when he gets though Myrtle showing up in his bath when they hear:

“WHAT DO YOU LOT THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

Jarring them from their comfortable spot and looking at the door where Sirius just happens to spy the extendable ear pop away.  Sirius glances at Harry, who looks devastated that everything he told Sirius could have been overheard by his friends.  Clearly, he wouldn’t want them to know and now they do.

“Why don’t you go up to your room and I’ll take care of this?” Sirius offers immediately turning back into himself.

Harry gives him a grateful look and takes off upstairs, while Sirius heads downstairs.  He reaches the landing with the drawing room, where Molly is yelling at the remaining kids and Tonks.

“What the hell is going on here?” Sirius thunders, angrily.  Based off the disappearing extendable ear and Molly’s tirade that he’s heard the beginnings of that mentioned privacy and eavesdropping, he’s sure that he already knows.

“Oh, Sirius, I’m so sorry.  I thought I had a handle on their eavesdropping – somehow, they must’ve created more of those ridiculous ears.  I don’t know how long they were listening or how much they heard, but rest assured they will be punished for the rest of the holiday – so busy cleaning or other chores that they won’t have time to bother you or Harry again as soon as I’m done yelling at them,” Molly says.  “Unless you’d like to yell at them?”

He’s tempted but they (minus Hermione and Tonks) are her kids, she should discipline them.  

He clears his throat.  “If I started yelling, I’d probably say something we’d all regret.  So, I’ll leave the punishing to you.  I just need to know: how long?”

He’s staining at the kids, who are not looking at him.  All of them looking down in shame.

“Answer him,” Molly says, sternly.

There’s a cough, and Fred answers, “The beginning.  Lupin went to get tea when Harry went after you and…. we couldn’t help ourselves.”

Sirius gives an angry snort, and figures nothing more needs to be said as he turns and takes off up the stairs.  

It had hurt to watch Harry’s reaction to losing him – apparently there’s a channel on the telly that is keyed to particular people and naturally the Potter Household (James, Lily and now Sirius) had the telly always focused on their son, Harry. Harry had been devastated as he lost Sirius, so devastated that he had attempted to torture Bellatrix, managed to throw off a possession and destroyed Dumbledore’s office (which he deserved). Listening to Dumbledore tell Harry that Sirius (in his opinion) deserved to his death because of his treatment of Kreacher and then explain how awful he’d been to Harry when he deliberately left him at the Dursleys despite knowing that it was condemning him to ten dark and difficult years.

They’d all been furious that after losing his only parental figure, Dumbledore had laid the prophecy on him and encouraged him to think it is somehow his responsibility to end the war. The worst part of the last week though was watching Harry grieve for him. The way he’d hoped that Sirius would come back as a ghost.

It broke his heart to watch Harry trying to go on without him and no matter what James or Lily said, he just couldn’t stop himself from watching. Their support of him (alleviating his worries that they blamed him for not being there for Harry) hadn’t helped him with his death whatsoever.

“Oh, Si, why are you torturing yourself?” James asks, as he joins Sirius on the couch, where he’s watching Harry looking at his albums again, probably wishing that Sirius was there to tell him about the pictures he hadn’t gotten a chance to explain about.

“Because I deserve it for failing him.”

“You did the best you could –”

Sirius glances at him, “I know that you and Lily don’t blame me for what happened, for letting myself fall into Peter’s trap rather than raise our kid, but I – I haven’t forgiven myself, and I don’t deserve to be happy when he’s suffering without me.”

“Sirius, do you really think that’s what Harry would want for you? He loves you as much you love him, he wouldn’t want you to suffer in the afterlife – great beyond – whatever you want to call it especially because you’ve spent so much of your life suffering – he wouldn’t want that.”

Sirius knows he’s right, but at the same time, he just doesn’t feel right in rejoicing that he’s reunited with the love of his life when their kid is despairing over losing him. Maybe someday when Harry’s feeling better, but not today.

In an effort to distract him, James turns his head away from the telly to kiss him, which Sirius could admit is something he’d missed over the last decade and a half. He’d missed sharing James with Lily, getting to love him just as much and as often as she does. He revels in the kiss for a minute or so before he pulls away, “As much as I’d love to continue this, I just – can’t get Harry suffering out of my head.”

James sighs and nods, “It’s only been a week, if I’m honest, it took a lot longer for Lily and I to accept our deaths that there was nothing we could do for either of you. So, I understand.”

“I just – it hurts, I think about how the one time I don’t have the mirror on me –” he stops because suddenly he hears Harry on the telly saying something to the mirror he’s talking about, and he also hears him from his pocket.

He pulls the mirror out of his pocket, “Kid?”

“Pads? Is it – is it really you?”

James eyes are wide, and Sirius is in utter shock, so he says, “Yeah, it’s us, son.”

“Dad? Wait, you, what?”

“I guess the mirror is better than we anticipated,” James counters. “It’s so good to see you – talk to you, oh! I have to go get your mother; she wouldn’t want to miss this.”

Sirius vaguely registers James getting up to go get Lily because he’s too busy staring at his kid.

“I’m so sorry, Pads. It’s all my fault you died –”

“Oh no, Kid. It’s not your fault, it’s mine, I should’ve been more careful in regards to Kreacher and I should’ve –”

“But you wouldn’t have been there if I hadn’t fallen for Voldemort’s trap! It’s all my fault you were there!”

“No, it’s not. It’s my fault I was there, and I would always be there when you need me – you are not the reason I died, and you know what? Even knowing that it was a trap, even knowing that I was going to die – I’d do it all over again, for you, because I love you and it’s my honor to die for you. I love you so much…”

“You really mean that? You’re not angry with me?”

“Of course not, kid. I’m angry at myself for laughing at Bellatrix instead of taking things seriously, but I don’t – I couldn’t ever blame you. I’ve been so upset that I left you behind, but I – I would never blame you. In fact, I’ve been so touched that I mean so much to you that you found a way to break into Umbridge’s office when the mirror didn’t work, that you managed to get all the way to the DOM, and I am so proud of you fighting against the Death Eaters and surviving you were amazing kid…”

“He’s right, of course, you do so well, Sweetheart,” Lily says, sitting beside Sirius and leaning so that Harry could see her too. James moves to his other side.

“Mum?” Harry questions. “Is that really you? I can’t believe that I – I mean, I was half-hoping that I’d see Pads, but…”

“It’s really us, Kid,” Sirius says.

“This is amazing,” Harry says, wiping away his tears. “I’ve been such a mess and now…”

“Now, you have this chance to talk to us,” James offers. “About anything, about everything. There’s so many things we’ve wanted to talk to you about and we just…”

“We love you so much, we’re so proud of you,” Lily states. “You’ve turned into such a good person despite all the awful things you’ve been through and –” She’s cut off by someone yelling up the stairs for Harry.

Harry puts down the mirror quickly, as he hears Ron, “Hey, it’s time for the feast. You don’t want to miss it.”

“I – I’m not … I don’t really want to go to the feast. I’m not feeling up for it.” They gesture for Harry to go with Ron, which he luckily understands, “Actually, just give me a minute, I’ll meet you downstairs.”

As soon as Ron’s out of earshot, Sirius says, “Go get some food at the feast, we’ll be here to talk when you get back.”

“Promise?” Harry asks.

“Yes, I promise.”

“Okay, I love you all.”

“We love you, too.”

***

Almost as soon as Harry’s able to get away, Sirius hears, “Pads!”

“Hey, Kid!” Sirius answers, immediately. Lily and James are once again sitting on either side of him. “How was the feast?”

“A lot better knowing that I would get to talk to you all after even if suddenly people want to talk to me and wave to me as if they didn’t ignore me all year.” Harry rolls his eyes. “Honestly, it’s kind of reminiscent of first year. I had to –” he stops.

“Almost die for Dumbledore’s test and win back the points that you never should have lost in the first place, and be mistreated for months?” Lily asks, at Harry’s and Sirius’ surprised looks, she continues, “Oh yes, we know, we’ve been watching over you, and we’ll fill you in later.”

“Oh, so, you – you know some of the things I’ve done…”

“Yes, and we’re proud that you managed to survive, and that you’re such an amazing kid…”

“Although I wish you’d have more fun and less almost dying adventures,” James interrupts. “And use the cloak, again, for fun, not just when you have to.”

Harry chuckles, “I guess that means that you’re a bit put out that I first used it to go to the restricted section of the library?”

“Exactly,” James teases. “Or only using it cover for Hagrid or sneaking down the trap door. I did like you using it to sneak out to Hogsmeade –”

Harry blushes. “Yeah, I guess I’ll try being a troublemaker next year – think mum’ll like that?”

Lily smiles, “As long as you’re not using it for deadly reasons – I’m okay with it.”

“Really?”

“Of course, Sweetheart, you deserve some fun in your life.”

“I won’t be having much fun tomorrow.”

Lily sighs, “Right, well. I know you’re stuck with her. Especially since Sirius is here with us rather than you…”

“Stuck with her – wait, if you’ve been watching over me…”

“We’ve seen the horrible way Petunia has treated you – in fact, since we have this opportunity, I’d like to talk to her as soon as you get there tomorrow.”

“I – you don’t – it’s not necessary,” Harry offers, clearly worried about something.

“It is necessary, Sweetheart. She’s been allowed to treat you that way and I thought I’d have to wait until she died to rip her a new one, but I think this’ll do.”

“Mum – I…”

“Please, Sweetheart. Let me do this – it’s my fault you’re stuck with her. It’s my fault that she’s treated you the way she has – I need to talk to her – I need to try and make things better for you even if it’s far too late and the damage is already done – please.”

Harry looks uncertain, but he nods, “I guess – if that’s what you really want.”

“It is,” Lily states. “We love you and it was so hard to watch you suffer at her hands, watch them lock you up for something that wasn’t your fault, and I – I have to do this.”

Harry looks so upset that Sirius intervenes, “But we can worry about that tomorrow – wouldn’t it be great to spend tonight just finally getting to talk to him?”

“Si is right,” James states. “I don’t want to talk about the bad things right now – I just want to talk about the great things – how proud we are of him, how much we love him – we have all the time in the world to talk to him about the difficult things he’s been through.”

Lily looks at James surprised, but smiles and nods, “Of course – obviously.”

“Yeah, it’s been a kind of crazy week, and I really just don’t want to talk about that stuff.”

“Yeah, I’d rather talk about the fun stuff like quidditch!” James says, causing Lily and Sirius roll their eyes playfully while Harry cheers.

“Yeah, it’s much more fun talking about that. If you were watching over me does that mean you know I play seeker?”

“Yes, and I’m so proud! You didn’t even have to try out as you were so good,” James states. He goes on to detail all of Harry’s great flying some of which Sirius had seen or heard about and some of which he’d been thoroughly surprised about. “… I can’t wait to see you back on that firebolt next year – I knew you were a natural since your first time on that baby broom…”

Harry smiles, “Even though you looked like you were freaking out a bit in the photos?”

“Oi! It’s normal to be a little bit neurotic about your toddler on a broom – I just wanted to make sure you were safe.”

“Hence the reason you also didn’t react well to Snuffles?” Harry teases.

“Hey, it’s entirely normal to be worried about that,” James offers.

“It was cute that you worried so much,” Lily agrees. “It made the whole thing much more fun.”

Sirius laughs, “Except when you had to talk him down from his excessive freakouts.”

Harry laughs, “To think that the baby broom and turning into Snuffles was probably the safest things I’ve done in the magical world.”

“This is true,” James says. “A certainly prefer that to Giant Spiders, Giant Snakes, Giant Dragons and Giants.”

Harry shrugs, “I didn’t mean to run into those things.”

“Wait, what’s this about giant spiders and snakes?” Sirius questions. “Have you been holding out on me?”

“Maybe,” Harry admits. “It’s just – I didn’t really want to talk about it. It was second year, the Chamber of Secrets was open – there was this diary that told me Hagrid’s giant spider was the monster, except that wasn’t true. Hagrid told us to follow the spiders for answers and we did, except they tried to eat us and the Weasleys’ rogue car had to save us and then … it turned out the monster was a giant snake – and I didn’t mean to meet it, it’s just Lockhart was idiot – it’s a long story.”

“There’s a lot of missing details there, son,” James states.

“But we’ll fill you in some other time,” Lily offers as Harry yawns. “Looks like someone’s exhausted.

“I haven’t really been sleeping, honestly. But I’d rather talk to you all – I haven’t, I mean I’ve been dreaming about this for so long.”

“Aw, kid, I’m sorry we didn’t try this earlier,” Sirius offers. “But we’ll talk tomorrow. Don’t worry – we have plenty of time to talk now. Not even Death can stop us now.”

“He’s right – go get some rest, and tomorrow, I’ll have a talk with your aunt and then we can play catch up, okay?” Lily asks.

Harry nods, “Yeah, okay.”

“Good night, we love you, Kid,” Sirius says, with James and Lily repeating the sentiment.

Apparently, everyone had been quick to read the article and write into Harry about their thoughts.  Although most of the letters had contained assurances that they now believed Harry and condolences for the shitstorm he’s been through (some going so far as stating that they’d be taking up ‘his cause’), while others had called for a one-way trip to Saint Mungo's, Harry is furious at all of them.  He’s angry that those that suddenly believe him, only believe him because they had read his worst memory to understand and believe him.  

He’d been so angry that when Seamus had come to him to apologize (after Umbridge had given him another month’s worth of detentions for ‘spreading his lies’), he yelled at him in front of the whole hall.  Everything he’d been feeling with regards to be suddenly believing him because they needed him to relive the worst night of his life (even pointing out that thanks to the dementors he knows it beats out remembering his parents being murdered) that a simple apology wasn’t going to cut it this time.  That it was insane how anyone could have expected that they had a right to know the trauma he’d been through – even bringing Hermione and her actions that led to this point into it.

He laid out all of the times that he’d forgiven the students and the general population for shit they’ve put him through and how he’s had enough.  That they’re lucky that he doesn’t have an adult that cares enough and is able to take him away from this shitty country and that he hates Voldemort more than he thinks everyone should reap what they sow hence doing everything he can to see an end to him.  Like making sure that everyone is aware of his return and could prepare for it despite knowing that keeping his mouth shut would have made his life a lot easier.

“And then I stormed out.  Everyone’s probably going to go back to thinking I’m insane.”

Sirius’ heart breaks for his kid.  He deserves far better than this.  “Aw kid.”

“That’s all you got?”

“No, of course not.  I just can’t figure out the right thing to say here.”  Sirius sighs, “Just give me a minute.”

Sirius tries to think of what would be helpful here.  He understands Harry’s point far too well, people poking at your sore points and thinking that they have a right to invade your worst memories is awful, but now that it’s out there – alienating those choosing to believe now wasn’t going to help. 

Before he could think of what to say, Harry suddenly shoves the mirror in his bag still activated.

“Hey Harry, doing alright?” Cho asks, (at least the voice sounds like Cho from the last time he’d heard her voice).

Harry must’ve given her a look because she says, “Right, stupid question.  I just want you to know that I’m a hundred percent on your side and you’d be surprised how many were hiding that they always believed you but were afraid to say something.”

“Yeah, I know some were…”

“But I didn’t come out here for that.”

“You didn’t?”

“No, I – well, because of all the craziness, we never got the chance for me to give you my present for Valentines and our six-month anniversary…”

“Oh, you don’t have to get me anything…”

Sirius laughs.  Clearly his kid doesn’t get her hinting here.

Cho giggles.  “You’re so cute, you know that?”

Harry coughs, “Cute?”

There’s a sound of a quick kiss.  

“Let’s skeeve off today,” Cho offers.  “I could give you my present in the prefect’s bath?  Meet you there in a half hour?”

Harry’s clearly still stunned because she whispers something in his ear and he squeaks, “Yes.”

Another sound of a kiss and a teasing, “See you soon.”

Sirius can’t believe what he just witnessed so to speak and bursts out laughing.  The laugh attracts Harry’s attention.

“Did you…?”

“I did,” Sirius laughs.  “Good for you, kid.  You could use the distraction.”

Harry blushes.  “Yeah, I just…”

“You’re stunned.  That’s okay.  It’s okay to say no if you’re not ready, too.  Just remember what we talked about alright?”

Harry nods, “Thanks, Pads.  Talk to you later.”

“Bye kid,” Sirius replies, still laughing.  At least his day is looking up.

***

Despite knowing that it was coming and Harry walking him through what the article was going to say, and that Harry could get into trouble, it was still a shock when it was presented at the Order meeting the night the article came out.  

The members had come in talking about the paper and why they hadn’t considered doing it sooner to help the cause.  Sirius had explained exactly what Harry had yelled about in the hall and why he was so upset with Hermione regarding springing something like this on him – he went through hell, he barely managed to talk about it with him and Dumbledore that night, and he absolutely deserves to never have to talk about with anyone else ever again.  Let alone to a reporter for the whole world to know the very private details of his personal hell, especially that reporter.  

Most had an ashamed look on their faces, a few argued if it could help them than why his feelings matter?  If it weren’t for Remus and Bill holding him back, he would’ve attacked Moody.  Considering the Moody part of the situation, he thought he’d be more understanding, but apparently not.

Dumbledore had actually agreed with Sirius, which makes him happy because it shuts down those arsehats that want to exploit Harry (even if it’s too late since Hermione already did that). 

Now that it’s been done, they could use the article to their advantage – warning more people, gathering new members, and hopefully getting enough of the public to question Fudge that they could oust him.  Not to mention that they had outed multiple high level death eaters, it’s possible they could push for some distance at least with those marked death eaters.  

Unfortunately, Fudge is trying to combat the situation by banning the Quibbler within the Ministry and Umbridge banning it within Hogwarts.  Dumbledore didn’t seem worried, however, since he knows that it’s far more likely that the students and general populace will find other ways to read it now that they know Fudge doesn’t want anyone to read it.  

The evening edition of the Daily Prophet had even denounced the Quibbler as trash and to not trust the article of the interview given by Harry (although he’s described in awful slanderous words).  Words that made Sirius want to break his promise and see to Fudge earlier on, rather than waiting.  Maybe he could get Dobby to mess with him?

The discussion was a long one and reminded Sirius that although Harry’s rightfully upset, ultimately this is a good thing – at least now, they could make some headway in the situation.  At least telling him how helpful it could be to the Order might help Harry feel better about the situation.  

Finally, Dumbledore ends the meeting.  Leaving Sirius with Bill, Kingsley and Remus sitting in the corner while Molly opts to cook dinner and Arthur chats with Tonks and Moody on the other end.  

Since the meeting is over and mostly everyone’s gone, Bill leans over and asks, “So, do you know why Harry missed his occlumency lesson today?”

Sirius narrows his eyes at Bill because he sounds as if he knows that he’s not the sole method of communication between Sirius and Harry.  “How would I know?  You didn’t get a letter from him today.”

“Relax, I don’t intend to tell on you or anything,” Bill says.  “It’s just been plainly obvious to me and anyone who’s been paying the least bit of attention that you and Harry have an alternative way to talk.”

“What makes you say that?” Sirius asks, impassively.  He would not be giving up any information regarding his communication with Harry.

Bill laughs.  “Oh, Sirius, if you didn’t have any communication with Harry and then suddenly had communication via me, your letters would be more than ‘got valentine’s day / girlfriend issues’.  The letters are too short – cute little notes that don’t really indicate that close of a relationship – and given what happened over the holidays, it’s quite clear that you have an extremely close relationship.  Plus, you almost never listen to my debriefs about Snape’s arseholery because you clearly already know.”

Bill has a point, of course, and it doesn’t help when Kingsley adds, “Besides, you know way too much about what’s going on with him at Hogwarts for it simply to be quick notes from Bill and no notes in the fall term.”

“But we won’t say anything because we’re too curious for the answer to tell on you,” Bill offers.

“And because it’s clearly been good for both of you,” Kingsley comments.  “You’ve gotten a lot better since September, which makes no sense unless…” you have a way to talk to your kid.  

He doesn’t have to finish his thought for Sirius to get where he was going.  

“So, you going to tell us?”

Sirius gives him a look, but then looks at the laughing Remus, “You know they’re right; it has been very obvious.”

“Fine, yes, I do have a way – through some mirrors James and I made when we were twelve so we could talk to each other while in separate detentions,” Sirius explains after casting an anti-eavesdropping spell he remembers from school.  “He says my name into his and his face appears in mine and I can talk to him.  I went to check on him after I saw him dead on the floor thanks to the Boggart before school started and we ended up talking.  I gave him the mirror and it’s been quite the godsend, honestly.”

“You and James were so codependent that you couldn’t even have detention without each other?” Bill laughs.  

“That’s what those mirrors were for?” Remus questions, sounding incredulous.  “I mean, I know you use mirrors for you and Harry, but somehow never connected the dots back to the mirrors you and James used to carry around.”

Sirius gives him a look.  “Why else would we carry around matching mirrors?”

“Well, I – I thought you were just… vain.”

Sirius shakes his head and looks at Bill, “We weren’t codependent – we just liked talking to each other and being by each other – even in detention and …”

“And now what you mentioned the other week makes so much more sense,” Bill states, with a laugh.

Sirius rolls his eyes.  “Okay, that’s not the reason why – we made the mirrors in first year.”

Kingsley is giving them a confused looks that although Bill and Remus are chuckling.  

“Maybe you just didn’t realize,” Bill teases.

“I should’ve realized,” Remus jokes.

“Alright, alright,” Sirius says.  “It doesn’t matter why we created the mirrors, it’s just that we did, and I gave Harry the mirror and I – I talk to him pretty much every day.”

“Nice,” Bill grins.  “So now, back to my original question, do you know why didn’t show up today?”

Sirius coughs and laughs, “I don’t think he’d want me to tell you all, but let's just say that Cho followed through on her bubbles plan.”

“No way, really?” Bill questions.  “I was fairly certain that I talked him out of bubbles at least.”

“Well, I don’t know for sure, but he was talking to me after the chaos Dumbledore mentioned when the article hit Hogwarts, when Cho found him and offered to skeeve off classes and follow through with her original Valentine’s night plan had Hermione not ruined it,” Sirius smiles.  “I haven’t heard from him since, so I figure he’s been thoroughly distracted all day.”

They all laugh, even Kingsley (who could obviously put the pieces together).  

“Good for him,” Kingsley says.  “I’m sure it helped quite a bit.”

“I agree.  Nothing like having that kind of fun for stress relief,” Sirius says.  “Certainly, miss it.”

“You know, since you’re single now and have been for a while, you could find someone else, if you wanted,” Remus offers.

Sirius shakes his head, “I’m in hiding, Moony.  Who am I going to date, Moody?”

“Gross,” Bill and Kingsley respond.

Remus rolls his eyes, “There are other men in the order.”

“Not many – most are married or gross,” Sirius replies.  “And don’t you dare suggest Snivellus.”

“Nah, you two would kill each other first,” Remus jokes.  “Besides, he’s obviously not into men considering he’s still pining after…”

“Ah, right,” Sirius responds.  “That’s good because he’s definitely a no-go.”

“What about Kings,” Remus offers, nodding at the auror, who helpfully wiggles his eyebrows at Sirius.

It’s not that Kingsley isn’t attractive, it’s that he’s not James.  Which isn’t a fair standard by any means, Sirius thinks, but he can’t help it – he wants James.  

“Yeah, how about it, Sirius?” Kingsley teases.  “Think you’d like a crack at this.”  He gestures to himself in a way that makes all four of them burst out laughing.

“You’re certainly intriguing, but you also work for the Ministry that’s after my head.”

“Fair point, but I’ve been heading the manhunt away from where you are and I do have so many interesting photos of you in my office,” Kingsley teases.

Sirius thinks about all of the erotic photos he’d done for James whenever he had to be away from him for an order mission, but there’s no way Kingsley found them.  Just as he opens his mouth to refute this idea, the other three burst out laughing.  Obviously, a joke.

“Oh,” Sirius breathes relieved.  “You were joking.”

Suddenly, the three of them are looking at him, intrigued. 

“Wait, wait, wait, you have photos like that?” Bill asks, looking interested.  “Can I see them?”

“No!” he pauses.  “I mean – no, I don’t have any photos like that, and you have a girlfriend!”

“Yeah, but she’s been curious, too,” Bill offers as Remus says, “Lies.”

“Fleur has been curious about me?” Sirius asks, not sure if he should be flattered or concerned.  “You’re curious about me?”

“Well, yeah, you used to be attractive.”

“Used to be?” Sirius asks, offended.  “I am still very attractive.”

“I agree.  That’s why you should give me a shot,” Kingsley offers.  “I would make you feel sexy, again.”

It is tempting, but he doesn’t think he could do it.  His heart still belongs to James even if he’s gone.  

“If we ever got caught, you’d be in more trouble than the average bloke.  I wouldn’t want to put you in that position,” Sirius offers as an excuse to let him down easy.

“Fair point.”

“You know, maybe Charlie might –” Bill starts.

“No,” Sirius states, startling them.  “Look I appreciate your efforts, but honestly, my heart still belongs to James, I’m a fugitive and I’ve got a kid that’s the center of a war.  I don’t have time for dating, and I don’t really think I could even consider someone else right now.”

“Fair.”

“But if you all are looking to set someone up, you should try helping Remus with his little crush,” Sirius teases, wiggling his eyebrows at Remus.

“I told you nothing is happening, and you need to drop it.”

“Right because those doe eyes prove nothing is going on,” Sirius retorts.

“He’s right, Remus,” Kingsley adds.  “It has been obvious for months.”

“I disagree because there’s nothing going on,” Remus states, plainly.

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

“It’s the truth.  Besides, I’ve got a mile long list why it can never happen – even more than your reasons for not dating Kingsley,” Remus says, giving Sirius a look.

“You’re a fugitive, too?  I had no idea,” Sirius jokes, causing Bill and Kingsley to laugh.

“Shut up, you’re not funny.”

“Judging by the laughter, I’d say I am,” Sirius grins, but before Remus could respond the gruff voice of Moody says, “What are you lads up to over here?”

Dispelling the spell, Sirius says, now frowning, “Nothing to worry about, Moody.”

“Why don’t I believe you, laddie?” Moody frowns.  “No one uses an anti-listening spell for something that’s nothing.”

“It’s just something private, Mad-eye,” Remus states.  “Nothing concerning.”

Moody probes with some specific questions for several minutes, in which Sirius’ frown deepens.  It bothers him the way that Moody is acting as if he has some sort of right to break Sirius’ privacy, the same way the order mainly acts towards Harry’s privacy. 

Finally, Sirius says, “If I tell you that it’s private and that it’s none of your business – it’s not.”

Moody opens his mouth to counter when Kingsley intervenes telling Moody, ‘That he needs to let go of that need to know everything attitude and realize that he isn’t owed any knowledge he wants’.  

Moody gruffs and mutters some unintelligible before limping away and leaving the kitchen.  The somewhat fun mood obviously killed.

***

It’s much later, when Sirius is half asleep (because he’s convinced Harry won’t be calling tonight), when Harry does, in fact, call.  

“Pads!” a cheery voice shocks him out his slumber.

“Hey kid,” Sirius says, rubbing at his eyes and trying not to look that sleepy.  “You look happy.”

“And relaxed,” Harry smiles.  “I know it’ll be ruined tomorrow, but I had a great day after we talked.”

“I bet you did,” Sirius smiles.  “I suppose you’re calling to tell me it went well?”

“It did – I didn’t realize what I was missing,” Harry grins.  “We started off in the Perfect’s Bath, but then Malfoy was going to crash it according to Dobby, so he took us to the Room of Requirement.”  He pauses.  “Which reminds me – have you been having him spy on me?”

“No, absolutely not.  I wouldn’t do that to you after last summer.”

“Oh, good.”  Harry pauses.  “But then why would he be around to help all the time?”

“I think he bonded to you and decided to basically be your elf after you rescued him,” Sirius offers.  “But it’s only a partial bond because he was able to leave and get paid by Hogwarts, so it’s a bit complicated to be sure.”

Harry frowns.  “I don’t really like having an elf.”

“I don’t either, but I don’t really know for sure, it’s just my assumption,” Sirius says.

“Yeah, anyway.  I just wanted to call you back because we – er – got interrupted.  How’d the Order react to the article?”  

Sirius tells Harry about the order meeting emphasizing that he doesn’t necessarily agree with the members of the Order that wished to have disregarded Harry’s feelings by doing it sooner.  

“…so it seems like there is something good that came out of the article.  Even though it’s awful that they suddenly believe you, we don’t want to alienate anyone who is potentially on our side now.”

Harry frowns, “Does that mean I have to apologize to Seamus or Hermione now?”

“No, but if they apologize again, I’d consider potentially just accepting it or at least not yelling at them, again.”

Harry shrugs, “Yeah, I guess. I mean, it’s not like I consider these people (aside from Hermione) my friends anyway.”

Sirius nods, but before he could broach how things were going with Hermione (whom Harry hadn’t spoken to since Valentine’s Day, now more than a week ago), he hears another voice.

“Harry?”

“Hermione,” Harry offers, putting the mirror face down inside his bag.  He’d been in the common room for once because of the anti-listening spell and it being empty.  “What are you doing up?”

“Oh, er, I was waiting for you, actually, but I had to run upstairs real quick – what are you doing with that mirror?”

“Just checking out my reflection,” Harry lies.

“You were talking to it, and you’ve been carrying it around and doing that a lot lately,” Hermione replies, clearly sensing his lie.

Harry sighs, and Sirius wonders if he’ll tell her the truth.  

“It was my dad’s… Pads gave it to me,” Harry offers.  “I – er – pretend to talk to him or Pads, you know just to get out my frustrations about … things.”

It’s a half-truth that Sirius thinks will likely convince her.

“Why don’t you talk to me and Ron?”

Harry snorts.  “You’ve kind of proven that you don’t really understand how I feel, which I guess isn’t your fault – you haven’t been put through what I’ve been put through and you have loving supportive parents and … and all that.”

Hermione is clearly surprised by his statement.

“And you don’t usually get punished like I do either,” Harry says, clearly thinking about the phrase on his hand due to Hermione’s brilliant article plan.  “I mean, I’m lucky I haven’t been killed or expelled yet this year.  Lucky that the detentions aren’t all night anymore.”

Hermione clears her throat uncertainly, “I – er – wanted to talk to you about that.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, I, er, I didn’t consider the repercussions of my actions on you, specifically.  I was thinking of the whole picture of all the good it’s already doing if Bill’s note means anything, and how important it is for everyone to have that information…”

“And it’s more important than my feelings,” Harry says, bitterly.

“Yes.  Well, I thought so.”

“Thought?  Past tense?”

“Yes, I – er – you were … somewhere today… and the talk of the castle.  I was also part of that because everyone knows what I did.  A lot were only okay with it because they wanted to know what really happened, but even those types made comments about me being a bad friend…”

She pauses as if waiting for Harry to assure her that she isn’t a bad friend, but when he doesn’t, she continues.

“And I think I was a bad friend… in this case.”

“Do you think that because you do care about the effects of your decisions on me or because other people are telling you that you should consider yourself a bad friend for it?”

“I’m not a bad friend, I’ve supported you through so many things…”

“Stop, Hermione.  This isn’t about whether or not you’ve supported me or how many times because I never said that you were a bad friend –”

“But the fight with Seamus –”

“ – I said that you, my best friend, didn’t even consider my feelings on the situation because you’re being bad friend in this instance… it’s not the first and won’t be the last time – and I am not perfect either, but you’re not in general a bad friend, we just haven’t been seeing eye-to-eye this year,” Harry interjects to get his piece heard.

“Oh,” Hermione frowns.  “I – I came here prepared to talk about all the support I gave you last year –”

“And that was great,” Harry says, cutting her off.  “I wouldn’t have been able to handle both you and Ron hating me plus the school all on my own, but it doesn’t affect this year.”

“We have been at odds a lot,” Hermione admits.  “Not used to that – with Ron, it’s normal.  With you, it’s heartbreaking because… because you’re my first friend.”

“I am?  You don’t – consider Ron…?”

“No.  I don’t,” Hermione states.  “It’s just – at first – even after the troll thing, we still struggled a lot, and if it weren’t for you… but you know, we did genuinely become friends, eventually.  I’ll always consider you my first best friend, though.”

“That’s – er – I guess that makes fighting this year worse, huh?”

“Yes, it does.”

“So why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?” Harry questions.  “Because I honestly don’t get it.  What happened over the summer that you’re following Dumbledore’s orders and living at my Pads’ house without me and – and not considering my situation at all?  I just – it feels like I left with the Dursleys and suddenly, you don’t seem to care anymore.”

“I do care, Harry.  I just – I’m not used to you… disagreeing with me.  I mean, yeah, there was that Firebolt thing – which I was right about – but suddenly, this year it’s like –”

“– I suddenly grew a backbone?  Fighting for your life will do that for you,” Harry finishes.  

“Yes, I understand that.”  Hermione clears her throat.  “Anyway, it’s just been hard to be fighting with you.”

“Is that to say that you think I shouldn’t stand up for myself…”

“No, no, of course not.  I – it’s just… I’m not used to not being the one that you listen to, that you go to for advice to, and instead, fight with.”

“I know,” Harry states, “But you do understand, don’t you?  About the problem this year?”

“Yes, your girlfriend stealing my spot in your life,” Hermione responding sounding jealous.

Sirius frowns a bit.  Although he’d joked about it because Cho is clearly jealous of Hermione, he hadn’t expected Hermione to be jealous of Cho.  Clearly, Harry doesn’t either.  

“What?  Hermione, no one’s going to steal your spot in my life.  You’re my best friend.  Cho’s my girlfriend.  There’s a big difference.”

“But she’s basically me except pretty and snogs you.  She even does your homework…”

“She does not!” Harry insists.  “She helps me learn from my mistakes and encourages me to find the answers myself.”  Harry takes a breath.  “But that doesn’t even matter because she’s not replacing you in my life.  Just like Neville would never replace Ron in my life even if we are talking more and have gotten closer.  Is that really what this whole year has been about?”

“I don’t know,” Hermione says, sounding distraught.  “It’s just after third year, I never wanted that to happen again, at least, I never wanted to have the issue of you not talking to me, again.  And then, fourth year happened, and I thought I was guaranteed, but then, it ended so brutally.”  

“And?  Go on, I still don’t understand.”

“Well, I wanted to do right by you, but I wasn’t sure how to do that, so I listened to the Order and Dumbledore, and when you started dating Cho and – and studying with her and listening to her over me…”

“Because she understands that I have gone through something traumatic and assured me that it’s okay that I work through that on my schedule … she wants to protect me because she cares about me, and she wants me to stay safe and not expelled or worse… I mean, of course I’m going to listen to her – she’s focused on me rather than what’s best for everyone.”

“And I’ve only been focused on the impending war.  Worried about you and me and what’s going to happen with the war…”

“You’ve been a little more focused on the world, the people who are innocent and will suffer if they can’t do a basic shield charm, but honestly, it’s not like I don’t get what you’ve been trying to do with the DA and the article or even in encouraging me to keep fighting Umbridge despite the fact that I’ve got permanent scars on my hand… but…”

“But if I was the good friend that I think I am, I would’ve thought about how you’ve gotten punished for my ideas whether it was emotional turmoil or through the detention.”

“Exactly.”

“I’m sorry – I really am,” Hermione insists.  

Sirius isn’t sure if it’s enough considering that Harry has been hurting and the discussion didn’t quite seem like Hermione thought she was wrong, just that she should’ve also considered Harry’s feelings.

“Would you have done it, again?  The whole manipulating me into the DA and the article?  Knowing how it’s affecting me?”

Hermione’s quiet for some time, long enough that Sirius is sure that Harry’s going to be unhappy with her answer, but then…

“I would actually tell you and lay out my reasons if I had to do it, again.  And I’d actually listen to you if you said no or if you weren’t ready,” Hermione states.  “Rather than ambush you as I have, but I wouldn’t not suggest it.  Because they have been good things… haven’t they?”

“The Order seems to think so, I happen to just accept it, I guess.  It didn’t exactly help me, but I know that it does help the overall goal of dealing with the war.  I don’t think I like calling them ‘good things’, but I could be a little … not bitter, but I’m not exactly feeling like they’re good just yet because I’m still upset.”

There’s a pause.  

“Does that mean you’re still angry with me?”

Harry sighs.  “No, I’m not.”

“So, you accept my apology?”

“Yes, I do.”

It’s quiet for another minute as Hermione likely hugs him.  

“Alright, well, I’ll let you go back to talking to Sirius,” Hermione says.  “And see you tomorrow.”

Harry coughs.  “What? I – I told you that I was talking to my Dad – not really, but… pretending to.”

“And you think I believed that?”  Hermione laughs.  “It’s so obvious, Harry, I am surprised that it’s taken me this long to realize it.  I mean, that mirror has been attached to you since the start of the year – you’re always off on your own, the way you and Sirius bonded over the holidays, not to mention calling him ‘Pads’… it’s just obvious.”

“Well, I – er – should neither confirm or deny that…” Harry starts.

“But you’ll tell him I said hello?”

“Maybe.”

More laughter before the sounds of Hermione walking away become obvious and Harry reappearing in the mirror.  “Hermione says hi.”

Sirius laughs.  “I heard.  She also seemed to be genuinely sorry and I’m glad you two made up.”

“You are?”

“Of course.  Hermione’s been a good friend, she just made some missteps.  It happens, no one’s perfect.  I mean, the situation you’re in is pretty unique and she’s just been doing her best.  You both have, really.  You’ve reigned in your anger and aimed it at the right person (sometimes that has been her).  It’s too much to expect either of you to not have struggled this year.”

“Yeah, I guess.  I was surprised that she thought Cho would replace her in my life.”

“Hmm-mm, it was a surprised to me, too, but it does make sense.  The three of you – you, Ron and Hermione are incredibly close and it’s understandable that when a new person enters into the equation that it would throw off the dynamic.”

“And since she thinks of me as her best friend, it does make sense that she might be – jealous – a little.  Like – like with Ron.  I just never considered Hermione being jealous.”

“I didn’t consider it either,” Sirius admits.  “I thought it was just Cho being jealous of Hermione, which makes sense, but I suppose that jealousy works either way.”

“Yeah, anyway.  I’m feeling better.  I know tomorrow will be a disaster, but at least, it’s working out and Cho promised that we could hang out after my detentions and things if it gets too much, again.”

Sirius chuckles, “Or even if it doesn’t become too much?”

Harry blushes.  “I think I’m going to bed now.”

Sirius smiles, “Well, I’m always here if you want to talk – promise not to tease too much.”

“Uh-huh, I believe you, Pads.”

“You should because I mean it,” Sirius grins.  “Love you, kid.  Good night.”

His excitement came crashing down with a simple exchange at that meeting.

“What are the kids doing for the holidays?” Molly asks, when Dumbledore asks if there’s any last minute discussions.  “I told Ron to invite him to the Burrow, but I wanted to be sure.”

“I think it would be best for Harry to get reprieve from Hogwarts this year for the holidays,” Dumbledore announces. “The Burrow is excellent.”

“Of course it is, much happier for him, and he’ll be with family,” Molly answers, smiling.

It was like he was doused with ice water.  He’s so stunned that he can’t even voice his dissent as everyone leaves not even looking him.

All of that work for his kid to have the best holiday all for nothing.  Just another celebration taken away from them.

He's heartbroken, how’s he going to break this to Harry?

***

Sirius has been miserable all week.  He’d been expecting that Harry would (and should) stay with him for Christmas, but at the latest Order meeting, Molly had unilaterally (with Dumbledore’s support) decided that Harry was invited to the Burrow to spend the holiday there.  Since Sirius had orders to ‘stay inside the house’, naturally he wasn’t invited.

He hadn’t told Harry this, as he figures that Harry would be upset as well.  Of course, Harry might prefer somewhere a bit cheerier than Grimmauld Place.  The truth had just dashed all of his plans to give Harry a room to call his own – Sirius had been working on turning the spare room next to his into a bedroom for Harry for months now, using Harry’s friend Dobby to get the things that he wanted from the store.  House-elves were amazing when they wanted to be, and Dobby had jumped at the chance to help Sirius because it helped ‘the great Harry Potter too’.

Now, it would be for naught.  This room was ready for Christmas and his kid wouldn’t even get to see it, let alone live in it.

“Pads.”

Plastering a smile on his face so that Harry wouldn’t know anything is wrong, Sirius answers the mirror, “Hey kid.”

“Hey – er – I know it’s a little bit earlier than usual, but I was hoping that you could answer something for me?”

“Of course, what do you need?”

“Oh, well, the list to stay over the holidays came around and I didn’t know if I should sign it?”  Harry looks extremely hopeful and yet, nervous.  “It’s just with you being my Pads and all, I figured you’d have said something about spending the holidays together, but you haven’t and I – you know – you want to see me, don’t you?”

“Oh, kid,” Sirius says, his heart breaking.  “Of course I do…”

“But you haven’t invited me over – just like over the summer…” Harry trails off, evidently hurt that everyone else had been at Sirius’ house over the summer when he hadn’t been.

Sirius clears his throat feeling guilty that he hadn’t insisted on Harry’s presence before anyone else had come during the past summer.  “I want you here, but – er – Molly and Dumbledore decided you would stay at the Burrow.  Ron was meant to tell you, and I didn’t know how to break it to you.”

“But – but you’re my Pads.  You – you have a house and – and you can’t spend the holidays alone.  I should be with you.”

“I want you to be, but – but I don’t really have a say,” Sirius explains.  He knows that it’s going to hurt Harry’s feelings, but he really doesn’t have a say when it comes to Harry as evidence by the fact that he couldn’t just invite Harry to the house over the summer, assure him that he could live with him if something happened at the trial, and bring him home for the holidays.

“Wouldn’t it be safer to stay with you?” Harry tries.

“Of course, but it’s – already been decided,” Sirius answers, defeated.  It hurts that Harry’s trying to find all of these reasons that he should be with Sirius because none of them matter.  It’s not like there was even a discussion into the possibility of Harry and Sirius spending the holidays together.

“Did you – did you fight for me?  Like you promised you would?” Harry questions, looking doubtful, but hopeful at the same time.

Sirius hesitates because he doesn’t want to disappoint Harry.  He hadn’t fought for Harry because he knew that it would be an utter waste.  There hadn’t been a discussion.  Molly made a decision, Dumbledore approved and that was it.  Molly wouldn’t be willing to stay at Grimmauld Place and there’s no way the order would be willing to let Harry come and stay here on his own.

“You didn’t – did you?” Harry asks, completely upset.  “I thought you wanted me –”

“I do, kid!” Sirius insists, looking around at the room that he created for the sole purpose of giving Harry his own room for Christmas.  “I want you here more than anything.”

“Then why didn’t you fight for me to be with you?”

“I – I just I – I couldn’t.  They didn’t even give me a chance to counter –”

“You could’ve said something – anything afterward.  Instead, you just gave up.”  Harry’s looking very upset.  “Because you obviously don’t really want me.”

Before Sirius could even speak, Harry’s gone and yelling his name hasn’t brought him back.

“Everything alright?” Remus asks.

“No, of course not,” Sirius retorts, angrily, although it’s not Remus’ fault.  “My kid thinks I don’t want him here for Christmas and I can’t even make it right by saying that he would absolutely be allowed to come here, and I can give him this room and – and …”

Remus frowns, evidently feeling sorry for him and Harry.  “We can talk to Molly.  It’s not her decision.  If Harry wants to be here with you as his Pads, then he should be.”

“She’s never going to listen to me,” Sirius groans.  “She hates me and thinks I’m a bad influence.”

“But she might listen to me,” Remus offers.  “Don’t give up.  I’ll try and talk to her.  I’ll call her for tea.”

“Really, Remus – I don’t…”

Remus glances around the room, and smiles, “I’m sure that we could find a way.  Maybe even show her this room – it could help her realize how much you mean to each other.  Just let me handle it.”

“Alright.  Thanks.”

***

Despite not having an answer and Harry’s obvious anger with him, he still calls the next night.  After the initial hellos, Harry says, “I’m sorry for hanging up on you yesterday.”

“It’s okay, I understand that you were upset.  I’m upset, too.  I just – I am going to talk to Molly, she’s supposed to come for tea tomorrow, but I – I don’t want you to get your hopes up, okay?”

Sirius wouldn’t have even mentioned it to him since he’s sure that it’s a slim chance that Molly will cave and let Harry come to Grimmauld Place for the holidays, but he wants Harry to know how much he’s wanted especially by Sirius.

Harry looks very uncertain, but somewhat excited and happy by the evidence that Sirius wants him.  “Even if she says no, can I – maybe sneak over to your house?  I mean – I could fake ill or something?”

“Let’s not make any hasty and obvious plans,” Sirius says, trying not to laugh at his eagerness even though it makes him feel good to know that Harry does want to be with him so much that he’d fake ill.  “We’ll figure something out, but right now, I don’t want you to worry about anything, okay?  Just know that I do, in fact, want you here and that I’ll do my very best to get you here to spend the holidays with me.”

Harry nods, smiling.  Clearly, he wants to be with Sirius as much as Sirius wants him to be with him.  “It’s just – I should be able to spend my holiday with my family and that’s you.”

“I agree.”

“And you shouldn’t be alone either – it’s not fair.”

“I completely agree.  And I love that you do want to be here – even if it sucks.  This place is not the best for a cheery holiday,” Sirius jokes.  “But you wanting to be here just because you want to be with me, too, is a great feeling.”

“Yeah, I do, and I want to be with you – I’d hang out in Azkaban if it means being with you for the holidays.”

Sirius laughs, “Well, that’s an endorsement of my company.  Still, we’ll just calm down a bit and we’ll talk about it once I’ve sorted it out.  Hopefully, I could be charming enough to get what I want.”

Harry grins.  “Charming – yeah, maybe.”

“Well, I’ll have Remus there to help.”

“I’m glad he’s willing to help.”

“Me too – it means a lot.”  Remus had come a long way in a short space of time and Sirius had come to appreciate is support.

“Anyway, we’ve got the DA tonight and I’m hoping to spend a bit of time with Cho, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Sounds good, kid.”

***

Fortunately, or unfortunately, the next time Sirius sees Harry is in person.  Apparently, he’d had a very real vision of Arthur getting attacked while on guard duty, and this situation had prompted Harry and the Weasleys to come to him in the middle of the night.

Sirius hadn’t been dumb enough to suggest bed, so he’d gotten them all butterbeers, ordered Kreacher to get out (when he was muttering about Arthur being dead), and they all sat in silence until Fred breaks it with wondering about what happened.

Harry had clearly been uncomfortable discussing his dream with the Weasley children who were looking at him with little disguised suspicion and when Sirius had tried to get them to ease up on Harry, Fred had attacked him, saying that ‘it was easy for Sirius to say that there are things worth dying for when he is inside hiding’.  Sirius nearly broke his glass bottle of butterbeer trying to keep calm, when Harry shouts, “Don’t you talk to him like that!”

“Well, he’s not!  He’s just sitting around here doing absolutely nothing – certainly not risking his life –”

“Shut up!  Shut up right now – you don’t get to talk to about him like that – as if he doesn’t want to be out there fighting!”

“Oh sure – defend him – but you wouldn’t defend mum and dad when they actually have taken care of you!”

“Are you kidding me?  Your parents haven’t done anything for me compared to Pads.  He’s been the one that wrote to me all last year, he was the one that lived in cave just to support me last year, and he’s the only one that bothers to care about my feelings and support me at all –”

Fred starts yelling about Harry staying with them before second year for a month and jumpers and pies with George yelling, too.  Harry continues his own yelling and it’s a full-on screaming match before Sirius throws up a flare.

“Stop it, all of you!  I understand that you’re under enormous stress right now – so I won’t yell at you, but this stops now.  I’m going to put on some music, we can either play some Snap or sit and listen to the music – I don’t care but we are not going to continue fighting.  Do you understand me?”

The twins both nod reluctantly while Harry storms off into the kitchen.  Sirius puts the card deck on the table, turns on the music and says, “I’m going into the kitchen to talk to Harry.”

He gets angry grunts in replies but ignores them.  He follows Harry into the kitchen and finds him angrily throwing dishes at the far wall.  For a moment, Sirius watches him as he puts a charm on the door so no one will be able to overhear them.

“Throwing things isn’t usually a recommendation for dealing with anger, but I suppose it’s better than punching them.”

Harry turns and spotting Sirius immediately moves into his arms to hug him.  “I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

“Why are you sorry?” Sirius questions.  “You didn’t do anything wrong.  It’s normal for you to react angrily when someone’s attacking someone you love – especially given the situation for us.”

Harry shakes his head.  “No, not that.  For getting so angry that I broke all of your plates.”

Sirius chuckles, as he waves his wand to repair them.  “I can easily repair them and… I understand why you’re angry.  No one knows our situation, but still, they do know enough that isn’t fair for them to attack us or me.”

“It’s not fair at all – how do you come into someone else’s house and do that?”

“They are under a lot of pressure right now – they’re worried about their dad and lashing out – I’m sure once Arthur pulls through, they’ll apologize, and it’ll be fine.”

“But it’s not fine.  It’s not okay for them to throw that in your face when you’ve been the only one there for me for ages – ever, really.  Jumpers and food are not the same thing as what you’ve done for me all this time.”

“I know, but I don’t care what other people think – I only care about you.  You’re my kid, you know I’ve done everything in my power to support you and that’s enough for me.”

Harry smiles, leaning back and brushing the tears away.  “When I woke up – all I wanted was you.  I was terrified and you are what I wanted because you’re my Pads.”

Sirius smiles, “I’m happy to be here – do you want to talk about it?”

Harry shakes his head.  “I thought I was the Snake – it feels like I hurt him.”

“Oh, kid, no, you didn’t.  You couldn’t have – I promise.”

Before anymore could be said, there’s yelling from the sitting room.  Sirius looks at Harry and they immediately move to find out what’s going on.

“Oh, Sirius!  There you are – and Harry, oh, thank you so much!” Molly says, immediately moving to hug Harry tightly, causing him to shuffle uncomfortably.  “Because of you – Arthur’s going to be alright.  They were able to stop the bleeding and there’s venom and he’ll be in the hospital for a few weeks – Dumbledore’s found an excuse for his being there and – and it’s going to be alright.  If he’d been found ten minutes later, he wouldn’t be – so thank you!”

Her speech leads to the rest of the Weasleys to thank Harry as well (even if the twins did it a bit stiffly).  Harry looks uncomfortable as well.  Sirius is just glad that Arthur’s going to be alright, if only so that Harry wouldn’t feel guilty for something he didn’t do.

“And Sirius, I know that we had a bit of a tea planned later to discuss things,” Molly starts, eyeing Harry and her kids.  “But I was hoping that we could cancel that tea and just stay here?”

“Of course you can.  The More the Merrier!”  Sirius grins, it’d be worth putting up with the Weasleys to have Harry here.  “It would be much easier given that we’d be closer to the hospital, and it was what I was hoping to suggest at tea, anyway.”

Of course, he leaves out the part where he intended to just have Harry stay, but that’s okay.  As long as Harry is one of his guests, that is all he wanted.  He’s going to be able to give Harry his bedroom after all.

“Brilliant!  Thank you so much.”  Molly hugs him, too.  Although it doesn’t last nearly as long as the one with Harry, which he’s actually grateful for – Sirius isn’t that big on hugs anymore except with his kid.  “Why don’t we have some breakfast and then, all of us nap and visit Arthur around lunch time?”

There’s murmuring around the crowd of teenagers that sounds like agreement, so they make their way to the kitchen, Sirius and Harry last.  Harry hugs him quickly, saying, “Guess it worked out after all.”

Sirius smiles, “As long as he’s okay and I get to have you here, I’m all good.”

“Good.”

Knowing that he needs to get Harry to talk to him, he sends the kids downstairs, leans against the door and pulls out the mirror.  “Harry.”

It takes multiple calls before a puffy-eyed Harry appears in the mirror.  “I’m not in the mood to talk, Sirius.”

“I think we need to talk, Kid,” Sirius states, his eyebrows raised at Harry’s use of his name.  He’d always called him ‘Pads’ since the day before the school year started whenever it was just the two of them.  “I can help – at least let me try.”  

Harry’s clearly uninterested in responding as he doesn’t even look at Sirius through the mirror.  

“Alright, kid.  We don’t have to talk, but I do have a surprise for you.  Wanna come out so I could show you?  I spent weeks on it – please, come out?  Just for me?”

Harry rolls his eyes and huffs out a sigh, “Fine.”

The door opens behind him, and Harry looks like a tired mess, but still rather defiant.  “Where’s this ‘surprise’?”

Sirius grins and grabs his hand and leads him up the stairs.  They make it to the third door next to Regulus’ room on the children’s floor.  The plaque read Harry James Potter’s Room.  

Harry looks at him, “What’s this?”

“Your surprise.  Go on, look inside.”

Harry hesitates but is clearly curious and slowly enters the room.  He walks to the middle of the room, which is decorated with all of Harry’s favorite things, and pictures of his family – Ie, his parents, Sirius and himself.  There weren’t many, but Sirius hoped to rectify that.  He’d included photos of when Harry was a baby.  It’d taken him a while to find them all – sneaking out of headquarters with Dobby to find them at his old flat (which had been willed to him by his Uncle Alfred and visiting Andy secretly while Tonks was gone because she would mention his excursions to Remus or Dumbledore and Sirius didn’t want the Order to know).  Harry’s spinning around looking at everything in utter shock before sitting on the queen-sized bed with golden sheets and a deep red blanket since he’s used to the Gryffindor dorms’ color.  

He looks shocked.  “This is – for me?”

Sirius smiles as he moves in front of Harry, “I offered you a home when I was almost freed, and I couldn’t follow through.  Now, I – I know that I – I can’t fully offer you to stay while I’m technically still on the run.  I – I want to, but with the Ministry paying close attention to you, it’s hard… Dumbledore has to approve when you come and – and…” Sirius shakes his head.  “Doesn’t matter, the point is – this is your home, I know it’s kind of depressing and I’d rather we live anywhere else, but … this is what I can do for now.  Someday, when I get the chance to be free and prove my innocence, we’ll get a new home, and we’ll design it ourselves, and it’ll be exactly everything we both want because I want you with me – you’re my kid, and we both deserve to have our home together as a family, but for now, I wanted you to have your own room and know that you’re not a guest here – you’re at home here with me.”

Harry’s quiet for a long time and Sirius is almost afraid to look at him, worried than he made a mistake, that Harry didn’t want to be with him – live with him or have a home with him.  That maybe Harry eagerly accepting Sirius’ offer had just been the excitement of the moment (discovering a godfather, his innocence and potential freedom), that even if he had asked if he could live with him when he was worried about getting expelled, it was just because he didn’t want to go back to the Dursleys, not be with Sirius, and that just because he wants to spend the holidays with Sirius doesn’t necessarily want a home with him.  It could be that he was just worried and wanted some comfort and assurances, not that he actually wanted to live with Sirius… especially when Grimmauld Place was not his idea of a good home… there could be so many reasons that Harry seemed somewhat interested in staying with Sirius, but maybe… maybe… maybe…

“Of course, if you don’t –” Sirius is cut off when Harry suddenly throws himself in Sirius’ arms.  He buries his face in Sirius’ neck, getting it all wet from his tears, and mutters something about never having a home before.  “Oh, Kid, I love you.  I always wanted you here, I just come with some complications, and I wasn’t sure if you would want to…”

“Of course, Pads!” Harry says, leaning back and wiping his tears.  “I’ve always wanted to live with you ever since you offered, but I thought – maybe you didn’t want me to, especially with the other day...”

“Of course I did, Kid.  I’ve always wanted you with me.  I’ve been wanting to make sure you’d be here for holidays for weeks – same thing with last summer, but…”  He shakes his head and smiles.  “So, do you like it?”

“Like it?  I love it!  I – I get to stay here for the holidays?” Harry asks, his eyes sparkling in excitement.  “This room is really mine?”

“Yes, I’ll have Dobby move your things – that elf really loves you,” Sirius smiles.  He’s thrilled with Harry’s response to the room – happy that after worrying for so long that he wouldn’t be able to give Harry a place to call his own that he finally can.  “He helped me buy the stuff and – er – helped me sneak out of here, completely hidden, I promise.  So don’t worry.”  He pauses, and says, “But don’t tell anyone – I was careful, but they don’t need to know.”

“Of course I won’t tell.”  Harry smiles, “I’m glad you got to get out safely.  You were so happy when you were out and about as Padfoot when you took me to the train, I worried about you being stuck inside.”

“I’m feeling a lot better these days, this project for you helped distract me.  Sometimes, it’s projects that can help quite a bit,” Sirius states.  “Distractions can be great.”  

He knows it’s not fair to bring up whatever was bothering Harry right now, but he needs to be sure that his kid is actually doing okay.  Whatever happened had shaken him, and he just wants to make it better.

“Until you bring it back up again,” Harry states, giving him a look.  He lets go of Sirius and sits back on the bed.  “Thank you for this –”

“You’re welcome,” Sirius grins, pleased.  

“– and I suppose that you want me to talk about what’s wrong?” Harry sighs, as he finishes as if Sirius hadn’t interrupted.

Sirius moves to sit on the little couch by the wall across from him, “Well, I want you to do whatever you want to do that will make you happy.  If that’s confiding in me – well, then, I’ll be happy, but as always, I won’t force you to share with me.  I’ll just tell you that I love you and I’m here for you whenever you want to talk.”

Harry bites his bottom lip, clearly uncertain about whatever’s bothering him, but after a quiet few minutes in which he looks around at all of the things Sirius had included for him, including some books on defense and other things.  The pictures, the items, and the mirror now his sitting beside him clearly helps.

Finally, he says, “I’m worried about the fact that I can see into his mind – it’s not just his moods anymore.  I dreamt about him before, but it has gotten so strong and – and I felt like I was the snake that bit Mr. Weasley.  I thought – what if I could get possessed or something?  What if he’s looking through my eyes right now and – I – I can’t be the reason someone else gets hurt.”

“Harry, kid, that’s not possible.  Yes, you’re seeing in his mind, but he can’t possess you, and it’s incredibly hard to purposely look into your mind from that far away, even in person, it would be incredibly difficult.  It’s easier when you’re sleeping, and your defenses are down.  Even if he were to attempt to possess you, you wouldn’t remember it.  Possession generally leaves you to lose hours of your life – just like the imperious curse does.  You’re uncertain, you can’t remember… there’s many ways that it’s obvious.”

Harry pauses.  “So… if I – I remember everything than I’m not… I wasn’t…”

“It’s not your fault, Kid,” Sirius assures him.  “Whatever happened no one blames you and you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“But I – I heard them and the looks that they gave me afterwards, it’s just…” Harry looks utterly terrified at the idea of possibly being the reason someone gets hurt.

“It’s not you, Kid.  We all know that.  He did it, he was possessing the snake, not you,” Sirius assures him.

Harry sighs, clearly he’d been worried about it because of the stupid Order members.  Sirius will have to make sure those members get a talking to about the situation.  “I’ve been afraid to sleep just in case it happens again…”

“You shouldn’t be, Harry.  Like I said – we did think your scar pain would happen more now, and you’re seeing more, but that doesn’t mean that he can or would possess you.  It is a bit of a concern, but not for that reason.  Actually, I think I have a few ideas on how to help you, not sure it will because your scar is special, but I can try.”

“Thanks, Pads.”  Harry yawns, clearly tired.

“Okay, Kid, why don’t we get your something to eat and then you can get some actual rest?” Sirius suggests.

“What if it happens again?”

“Well, I can stay with you, if you’d like?  As Padfoot.  Protecting you from the nightmares?”

“Would you?” Harry questions, eyes hopeful but uncertain.  “It’s not too much to ask?”

Sirius smiles, “Of course not, you’re my kid, I’d do anything for you.”

“Thanks, Pads.  I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

***

When they next awoke, Sirius could tell that Harry was feeling much better.  “A good rest then, Kid?”

Harry nods.  “I felt safer with you here – this bed is pretty special, too.”

Sirius grins, “Comfiest one we could find.  Only the best for my kid.  I’d do anything for you.”

Harry smiles, “Your kid.”

“That’s right, kid,” Sirius smiles.  “You’re my kid, and I’d give you the world if I could.”

“Would you – maybe –” Harry stutters, shakes his head and stops.

“Come on, Kid.  You can ask me anything – you know that,” Sirius assures him.

Harry looks uncertain, but nods after a few minutes.  “Would you sleep here – like this?  I just felt safer with Padfoot here… but it’s not fair to –”

“Harry, kid, stop.”  Sirius smiles at him, “I want to help you in any way I can – I spend a lot of time as Padfoot, if you want me to curl up as Padfoot while you sleep, I’d gladly do it.  Anything to help you.”

Harry’s eyes widen, “You really mean that?”

“Of course,” Sirius repeats.  “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know – it just, can’t be comfortable.”

Sirius laughs, “I spent most of last year in a cave – sleeping as Padfoot, I spent most of the year before in the forest – sleeping as Padfoot, I spent years Azkaban – sleeping as Padfoot, and this year?  I still spend most of my time sleeping as Padfoot.  I do somewhat better now that I have a real bed, but I certainly don’t mind sleeping as Padfoot.”  He smiles.  “Especially if it helps my favorite kid.”

“I’m your only kid,” Harry laughs.

“You don’t know that, maybe I have other kids hiding somewhere,” Sirius jokes, when Harry suddenly looks uncertain.  “I’m just kidding – I haven’t had sex with a woman –”

“Gross – I don’t need to know about that.”

Sirius laughs and continues as if Harry hadn’t interrupted.  “– so I can’t have more kids out there.  You’re my one and only kid, but you’re still my favorite, I promise.”

Harry smiles, “Thanks, Pads.  I appreciate you.”

“I love you, Kid.”

“I love you, too.”

***

Sirius can’t help smiling as he leans in the doorway of Harry’s new room.  He’s showing it off to his friends.  Ron had been put out that Harry had his own room, but ultimately, Harry managed to point out that he's never had his own room before – the room he uses at the Dursleys is Dudley’s second bedroom.  That and Sirius had worked so hard on it that Harry wasn’t going to let it go to waste.

Sirius is just happy that Harry seems happy with it.  

“The twins did apologize in case you’re wondering,” Remus says from behind him.  “I assume that’s why you’re watching them.”

“That’s not it at all.  Although I’m happy to hear it,” Sirius states, genuinely.  “I just wanted to see him be happy.  This is the first time that he has his own room to show off – it’s just nice to see how excited he is.”

Remus smiles, too.  “And you’re proud that all of that work over the last few weeks that you did.”

“I can’t be proud of my hard work?” Sirius teases.  He knows that Remus is just kidding.  Things had been getting better between them and it feels natural to joke around again.

“I think it’s good that you’re proud.  I think having such a project on your hands helped you, too.”

“Hmm-mm, I think it’s less pride of what I’ve accomplished and prouder of the fact that I could finally given him some sense of the home that I should’ve given him all that time or at least since the end of his third year.”  Sirius looks down, feeling guilty that he hadn’t given Harry the home he should have given him all along.  He couldn’t help feeling that James and Lily would be disappointed in him.  “He just deserves a home – even if this place sucks.”

“You know that it’s not your fault, right?” Remus asks, prompting Sirius to look at him.  “You know that we had no way of knowing that Pettigrew would do what he did (or when he did) or that he would escape that night when you had to go on the run.”

Sirius shakes his head looking down at his engagement locket that hangs around his neck that Dobby was able to find as it had returned to his flat when he was thrown in Azkaban.  “Pettigrew was a rat, literally.  I should’ve known – I should’ve been there that night.”

Given that this has been a frequent topic over the last few months, particularly since Sirius’ birthday, it’s no surprise that Remus seemingly drops the subject to ask, “What’s that?”

“It’s – it’s a locket.”

“Yeah, that much I gathered – I know what a locket looks like,” Remus teases.

Sirius moves back slightly so he’s out of the room and the kids won’t be able to hear him.  “It’s my engagement locket that James gave me – Dobby found it at my flat.”

Remus frowns, “Engagement locket?”

“Yeah – er – James knew that he couldn’t propose to me properly because no one knew that we were willfully sharing him.  So, he bought this locket and engraved it – planned a whole special night that was ruined by the Order’s surprise engagement party for James and Lily.  I was jealous and spent the next week avoiding being at home – went to my flat.  Until they tricked me back home – Lily and I talked – and James proposed the next morning with this.”  

He lifts the locket, which Remus takes a closer look at it.  The engravement reads: James and Sirius Potter, 1976 to Forever.  

“See the engraving?  He wanted me to know that I’m a Potter even if we had to wait until we could come out after the war… only it ended in devastation.”

He sighs, “And that’s why it absolutely is my fault.  I should’ve been there!  I never should’ve gone on the mission that week or decided to stop by the rat’s place because something felt off – I should’ve never left or gone straight home.”

“You couldn’t have known it would be that night – we wouldn’t have any idea,” Remus insists.

“I should’ve been there.”

“It’s not your fault, Sirius.  It was just meant to be – they were meant to leave us, and you were meant to be here to eventually be here for your kid,” Remus counters.  Then nods at the kids in the room, including Harry, who’s looking at him in confusion.  “And believe me – Harry would rather you be here.”

Sirius nods, and waves at Harry to show that everything’s okay.  “I know – he told me not to blame myself when we talked the night that I gave him the mirror.  I just…”

“It’s hard to get over it,” Remus finishes.  “I just want you to know – it’s not your fault.”

“I know – I just go through phases – especially being here, reminded of my worst memories even without the dementors,” Sirius states.  “But it is the holidays, and I could put my guilt aside to make sure that he finally has a good holiday.”

“I’m sure he appreciates it.”

Still, it’s always a little nerve wrecking to await results.  They just couldn’t wait for Harry to finally get his results so they could tell him how proud they are of him (because no matter what, they are all insanely proud of their son).  

“Harry looks like he’d rather be anywhere other than next to Hermione,” James laughs.

“I would, too,” Lily states. “I remember waiting for my results with my parents constantly asking about how I thought I did and someone else trying to still be my friend.”

“Someone else, Lils?” Sirius asks.  “You can say his name.”

“She prefers not to,” James states.  “Well, unless she’s yelling at him for his attitude toward Harry.”

“Which happens, often,” Lily offers.

James grins, “Right – you’ll see that.”

“Thanks – do you remember getting our results?” Sirius questions.  

James laughs, “You mean how we were still asleep when our results came, and mum and dad were the ones to read them out loud to wake us up?”

Sirius laughs remembering that day, they’d always shared a bed whenever Sirius stayed with them – that summer he’d already been there since the second day, so his results had gone to the Potter household.  Dorea and Charlus had received their results and decided to prank them by barging in and ripping off the blanket to wake them up with the news that they had failed everything and were having to repeat their fifth year.  It had been more embarrassing that they fell asleep naked than actually believing that they had failed.  “Yeah, well, lucky for us their prank failed because we were far too smart to fail everything.”

“It’s still great they tried.”  James laughs, “Although, I hadn’t anticipated coming out to them like that.”

“Yeah, it was – I should go and talk to them, actually…” Sirius starts.

“Later!  He’s gotten his results,” Lily states, excitedly.  

It’s true.  Harry’s opened his results, along with Ron and Hermione, and they can see his reaction to them.  “Only failed Divination and History of Magic – and who needs them?” Ron asks.

Harry grins, “Yeah, right.”  They swapped their results and then Ron ran off to show his results to Molly, while Hermione borrows Hedwig to share with her parents.  This allows Harry to sneak off and pull out his mirror.  “Pads!”

“Hey kid,” Sirius grins. “We’re all here dying to know how you did.”

Harry grins and holds the parchment up from them to read through the mirror.  He’d gotten EE’s in most of his classes, excepts O’s in Charms, Defense and Transfiguration (thanks to tutoring from Sirius and Cho), a P in Divination, and an A in History of Magic.  “What do you think?”

“You did great, kid!”

“Fantastic!”

“We’re so proud of you, Sweetheart,” Lily finishes.  “You did amazingly well, I’m surprised you did so well considering everything you’ve been through.”

“Well, I had some help – calling on Pads and um…” he blushes.  “Do you, um, know about…”

“Your lovely ex-girlfriend?” Lily asks.  “Yes, we do – we’ve always tried to watch over you, remember?”

“Right, of course, it’s just – she helped a lot.”

“It helps to have snogging breaks, huh?” James teases.  “I used to do that with these two all the time.”

“You two never studied at all, it was all snogging,” Lily teases.

“Like you would know,” James counters as Sirius offers, “This is true.”

James gives him a look that causes the other three to burst out laughing.  “Anyway, son, we’re so proud of you – you should buy yourself something nice, a gift as a reward.”

“Oh?  A gift?  What would you buy me if you’d been here?”

“Well, I’d likely buy you a new broom, but you’re not going to beat the firebolt… so…”

“Oh yeah!  That reminds me, did you see this?” Harry asks, lifting up a familiar badge.  

“Yes!  That’s my boy!  Getting Captain,” James cheers to laughs from Lily and Sirius.

“As if there was any other choice,” Sirius grins.  “You’re the best player on that team – so natural from the start.”

“Didn’t even have to try out to be the youngest player in a century,” James states, proudly. “There is no better choice.”

Harry grins, “It’ll be so much better than Prefect.”

“Prefect is only bad when you have people like these two making it difficult,” Lily offers, giving Sirius and James a look, both of whom grin back.

“There’s nothing fun about telling people to stop having fun,” Sirius retorts.  “This one was much more boring when he became Head Boy.”

“Oi!  I wasn’t boring we still had plenty of fun –”

“Remember there are kid ears here,” Harry cuts in, obviously assuming – correctly – that James was referring to their sexual exploits as fun.

“I wasn’t going to go there,” James states.  “I’m just saying that I didn’t become a bore, but I do agree, I liked being Captain more – and if you ever want advice…”

“Your father would be happy to give it to you,” Lily smiles.  “Even if you don’t want it.”

Harry laughs, “I’ll probably take him up on that.”

“Fantastic!  So, what classes are you planning on taking this year?”

“I don’t know.  I wanted to be an auror, but honestly, I’m not too sure about that anymore.  I’ll probably keep my options open by taking the core classes – sucks about Potions though. I’ll need it for most jobs, but Snape wouldn’t accept me with an EE.”

“That’s okay, we’ll tutor you and you can still take the N.E.W.T.,” Lily offers.  “I’ve always loved Potions and I’d rather you not have to deal with him, so tutoring you was always something I’d offer.”

“Really?  Because I’d like that.”

“Of course, Sweetheart.”

Harry grins, clearly happy about something to bond with his mother, as he’s been a little uncertain with her given that he doesn’t have as much in common with her.  “Thanks, mum.”  Before anymore could be said, they hear the sounds of Ron and Hermione looking for Harry.  “I gotta go, but I’ll call later.  Love you!”

“Pads!” an angry Harry yells.

It’s much earlier than he expects, and he’s surprised when Harry appears in the mirror looking extremely angry.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you, what?” Sirius asks, surprised.  Harry’s never been so abrupt and angry with him.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you and dad used to bully Snape and that’s why he makes it his mission in life to my life miserable?”

Sirius is in complete shock. “I – we – what?”

“Yeah!  I saw it all.  There was the DADA O.W.L and…” Harry continues to explain the entire scene, Sirius remembers it well.  

It had been merely two weeks after the incident with the Willow.  Snape had been following them around for ages, trying to get them expelled and Sirius had done something foolish, telling him that if he really knew anything then already know that to get passed the willow, all he had to do was press the knot.  Snape had used magic to stop Sirius from chasing after him once the answer was out and they’d both been lucky that James had come by a few minutes later and able to save him.  Although Remus had been angry with Sirius, James had been far more angry with Snape. Furious that Snape had finally found a way to prove his ‘theory’ and that he’d blatantly been trying to get Remus killed and Sirius expelled, the fact he existed was enough to go after Snape whenever he could.  It had been years of back and forth before that, but that incident and the incident after the DADA O.W.L had been the culmination of everything.  

Once Harry finishes the explanation of what he’d seen, Sirius says, “It’s not what it seemed like. He wasn’t our victim – we didn’t bully him …”

“Dad only went after him because you said you were bored, and the reason was that he exists!  How could you –”

“Harry, listen, it’s a long story, but that was just one moment – we trying to get back at him for the Willow incident…”

“You mean the incident where you tried to feed him to Lupin on the Full Moon?” Harry snarls, obviously very upset.  “Maybe he was right about that, too – maybe all along you were just attacking him for no reason –”

“No, Harry!  That’s not it at all – there were so many things and reasons, he was following us around, trying to get us expelled –”

“And you didn’t deserve that?  Mum said that you go around bullying people just for fun –”

“It wasn’t like that. We did throw hexes, but it was in retaliation for the mini-death eater’s own behavior.  We’d never attack innocents.”

“Snape was looking pretty innocent to me.”

“He wasn’t – I told you that he was into the dark arts and following after us, really, it wasn’t one-sided – he gave as good as he got.”

Harry looks furious. “Sounds like you’re just making up excuses.”

Before Sirius could even reply back, the mirror goes blank.  Obviously, Harry had had enough.  Sirius vaguely tries to call him back only to see nothing, but his own reflection.  

***

Sirius knows that things are a bit difficult between him and Harry even since Harry had seen the memory of what happened after the DADA OWL.  It’s true that Sirius hadn’t particularly cared for Snape ever since they met, and there had been extenuating circumstances to the events in the memory, but Sirius’ attempts to explain had sounded like excuses to Harry, who had ended the call a week ago, abruptly.  

Sirius hadn’t heard from his kid since, and he worries that Harry’s struggling with many things on his own now because he refuses to talk to Sirius over something that happened twenty years ago.  

The worst part was not being able to call Harry on the mirror because he couldn’t risk someone finding out about the mirror, which results in a very stressed out Sirius sitting in Harry’s room, wishing more than anything that his kid would just call him.  

He doesn’t like being on the outs with his kid.  Not when he knows that Harry’s suffering on his own at the school.  

“You okay?” a voice asks from the doorway.  It’s Remus, who’s been trying to be around more lately – Sirius senses that he’s feeling guilty about his lack of support for Harry or Sirius.

“I’m fine,” Sirius lies.

“You’re not,” Remus counters.

Sirius doesn’t bother to answer, prompting Remus to speak, again.

“Did you know that Snape refused to teach Harry occlumency anymore?”

Sirius looks up at him, “How’d you know that?”

“Snape was on a tear during the meeting tonight, which you didn’t bother to attend.”

“Why would I?  No one bothers to listen to me.”

“Because you’re a member of the Order and you’re required to be there, especially since your godson is the topic of conversation.  What the hell happened?” Remus demands.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sirius states, plainly.  “It’s not the Order’s business and if they really cared about the things that Harry’s been through or him at all – they wouldn’t have put him in a situation with Snape where he had no power to defend himself and give Snape all sorts of things to use against him.  It’s no wonder that Harry chose to peek into the pensieve – it was only fair.”

Remus frowns, “He looked at Snape’s memories?”

“That is the only thing you took away from that?” Sirius demands.  “It doesn’t matter what Harry did, it matters what utter bollocks that Snape’s been throwing his way!  For years, he’s treated Harry like hell because he hates James and he’s spent weeks on end invading Harry’s thoughts and memories and laughing at the hell he’s been through.  On top of which, he taunts him in class and has straight up destroyed Harry’s work on multiple occasions – it was okay that he finally got curious enough to see what Snape is hiding when he had the chance.  It’s not like Harry was offered the same chance to protect himself from Snape.  And he didn’t even teach anything – Harry’s situation has gotten worse and now he won’t even talk to me because of a mistake James and I made twenty years ago!”

Sirius is so frustrated that he doesn’t care if he’s being loud or outing the communication with Harry. He doesn’t care about anything anymore. His kid won’t talk to him, the order doesn’t listen to him, and he’s at his wit’s end over the situation.  

Remus appears to see that Sirius obviously needs to talk about the situation and sits across from him on the bed.  “I know that Snape has been unfair to Harry – I do, but it’s best that he learns occlumency and that you tell him that he’s got to put all that aside because Snape’s important for the war.”

Astounded, Sirius looks at him with unfettered loathing.  “Leave this room right now.”

“Sirius –”

“Now, Remus!  I already told you once – I don’t want to hear you say that my kid is somehow at fault for the situation with Snape. It is not his fault that he’s my kid, it’s not his fault that he’s James’ kid.  Snape is his teacher and has been practically torturing him in classes for years – since the day they met.  It’s not fair to put this situation on him.”

“I know it’s not fair, but we have to cater to Snape –”

“No, we don’t,” Sirius states, sternly.  “Harry has been through unfettered hell in the last few years, and he deserves better than to be forced to cater to Snape.  Whenever he does decide to talk to me, again, I’m going to tell him that. Because he deserves better than this and until you decide to put Harry’s needs and feelings first, I don’t want to talk to you.”

“So, you don’t want to talk about how stressed you’ve been about the memory Harry witnessed after all?”

“Not with you – not if you’re going to beat up on Harry and somehow think that he should be responsible for fixing things with Snape when none of this is his fault.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus states. “I am just trying to be –”

“Pragmatic?  The peacemaker?” Sirius asks.  He doesn’t wait for a response before continuing, “Well, I’m not the mood for it.”

“Okay – okay, well, I’ll stop, but I do think that you should talk about it – whatever happened.”

Sirius sighs.  He did need to talk about it.  If only because he was going crazy worrying about Harry’s reaction.  “He saw that memory of the DADA OWL, and he was very upset… rightfully so.  He had a lot of questions.”

“And he has the mirror to talk to you, so…”

“He – er – he told me what he saw and wanted to know why I never told him that his father was a bully…”

“Did you explain that he wasn’t?  That there were extenuating circumstances?” Remus asks, already ready to defend James, which is okay because it’s true.  “That any seemingly undue hexing of Snape or anyone else was for an underlying reason like finding out that they’d attacked Muggleborn first years or a returning the favor situation?”

The situation with Snape was never as cut and dry as it seemed in that memory, and Remus, more than anyone, would understand that.  He’d defend James when he wouldn’t defend Sirius.  

“I tried to explain, but he thought I was excusing the situation and ended the call – I haven’t heard from him since.”  Sirius shakes his head.  “It’s killing me that he won’t talk to me – that he thinks that James is so awful when he was an amazing man and I… I just never wanted him to think badly of the man that saved me from ending up like the rest of my family.  The man who loved everyone that wasn’t into the dark arts or baby death eater scene.  The man who risked everything for those he loved.  The man who – he just he deserves better than for his son to remember him by his worst moment – not the moment he risked his life to save the man who set up me and you up so he could kill you and blame me, not the moment he gave me a home and made me a Potter, not the moment that he tried to protect and help Harry in the graveyard, not the moment that he tried to fight Voldemort without a wand – No.  Instead, he’s remembered for his worst possible moment and it’s not just fair.”

“Maybe not,” Harry says.

The sound of Harry’s voice from the mirror jars Sirius from looking at Remus to looking down at his kid.

“Harry!  Oh, Harry, how long have you –”

“Long enough.  I heard you say my name and I figured… Can we talk?  Alone?”

Sirius glances up at Remus, who nods, “Of course.”

Once Remus is gone, Sirius focuses on Harry again.

“I’m sorry – I didn’t – I didn’t mean to cause you grief or drive you crazy, Pads.”

“That’s – it’s fine. I just – I understood why you were upset, I just hoped that you’d – you know – come back to me sooner, but you’re here now and – and I’m just glad you want to talk.”

“I do – I – it wasn’t fair to not listen to you.  I was just so angry that I didn’t really want to listen.  And it sounds like there really was more to the story and all I did by not listening to you was punish us both.”

“You needed time – I understand,” Sirius assures him.  “It’s hard to have your image of your dad not be so perfect all of a sudden.  I know Snape has said some awful things to you, but you refused to listen to him and now, you’re rightfully questioning all that.”

“I am – I just, I don’t understand, he didn’t seem to be doing anything wrong.”

“Not in that particular moment, no.  It’s a long story, but things built up to that moment…”

“Well, then, I’d like to hear the story – how’d it get that way?”

Sirius nods.  He’d known this was coming.  “Alright, well, you see, Snape was always into the Dark Arts. He had a thing against muggles from the get-go and there was a moment on the express where James laughed at his interest in Slytherin – made a joke about leaving which wasn’t true because his mother was a Slytherin – and –”

“She was?” Harry questions.  “I thought the family were all Gryffindors?”

Sirius feels a pang at the idea that Harry doesn’t know his own family history and sighs, “No, she – she was in Slytherin.  James grew up joking around about the house he’d be in and had this idea of being just like his dad – so it was always ‘if I’m not like dad, I’ll come home’ – it’s obvious he wouldn’t have.  Anyway, Snape took offense, made a comment about Gryffindors and then they left when we gave him the name ‘Snivellus’.  We were eleven – it was stupid.  It could’ve ended there.”

“But it didn’t?”

“Nah, he made it his mission to get us kicked out of school.”

“Sounds like Malfoy and me.”

“From what you told me – it was a lot like that.  He’d do something – we’d do something.  We knew he was part of a junior death eater gang – something I mentioned last year. He was into the dark arts, believed their philosophy.  He wasn’t fond of muggles or muggleborns – except Lily…”

“Mum?  I – I – you never…”

Sirius clears his throat. “Yes, well, it – it’s difficult.  As I told you at Christmas, your mum and I were close even without your dad around, and she struggled with not only her sister and that situation, but the fact that Snape was her friend.  He was the one that told her she had magic and they were close.  She kept trying to make excuses for him when he’d get caught up with his little Slytherin gang hurting muggleborns and it – sort of ostracized her.  Many in Gryffindor, particularly muggleborns, struggled even wanting to be associated with her because she got leeway that they didn’t due to Snape. She was … stubborn… like you.”

“Stubborn like my mum? That’s new,” Harry smiles, sadly.

“Yeah, and she tried so hard to hold onto him, even when it seemed like a lost cause.  The older we got, the worse it got and that was part of the problem.  As she pulled away, he became more and more obsessed with us.  He thought if he proved that we weren’t all that great that she’d be closer to him again.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrow. “They didn’t seem like they were friends at all for that to work.”

Sirius laughs, “They were and they weren’t.  It depended on the day.  They certainly knew how to drive each other crazy.  The situation we (as in James and I) had with Snape certainly contributed to the back and forth-ness of it all.  Since the beginning of it all – it was back and forth.  He didn’t like whenever he’d see Lily with us so he’d cause trouble and we’d retaliate.  Sometimes, we’d start something as if we could prove to her how awful he was.  By the time we got to third year, we all knew about Remus and Snape figured that he had the golden opportunity to get us expelled, by outing Remus.  So he plotted against us – found a way to make it work only it backfired…”

“When you tried to feed him to a werewolf?”

“I didn’t do that.  It was more complicated…” Sirius quickly explains what happened with it just coming out as it had and finishes, “…so it wasn’t like I just trapped him down there or something.”

Harry nods.  “Makes sense.  So – that event that I saw… it wasn’t because he existed at all…”

“No, James just couldn’t say the truth, unfortunately.  Too many people.”

“And mum – she didn’t really hate him?”

Sirius chuckles, softly. “Of course not – she was just angry that day.  Like you, she felt the need to step in for the underdog, which she always thought was Snape because aside from a few friends, no one really liked him.  Not like James and I, anyway.”

Harry nods.  “He did seem pretty popular.  You both were – with the girls anyway.”

Sirius smiles, “Yeah, too bad I’m not into girls.  Your dad got lucky though – found the best one.”

It’s quiet for a minute before Harry speaks, again.  “I’m sorry again for not being willing to listen.  I feel better now, but it was miserable this week.”

“It was pretty miserable for me, too,” Sirius admits.  “But I love you, kid, and I want you to be able to talk to me about anything else that you want to talk about, okay.”

Harry nods.  “Thanks, I love you, too.  But – er – right now, I’m kind of exhausted.  I have been so upset and focused on what I saw…”

“I understand.  Why don’t you get some sleep?  We can talk tomorrow.”

“Sounds good. Night.”