#miragekoas

“This isn’t our usual problem…” Makoto paused.

“It’s true, we don’t deal with human criminals,” Ami agreed, though she sounded reluctant to dismiss the matter. “We really can’t just fight a regular human.”

“But can we really ignore this?” Rei asked, crossing her arms.

“We’ve got to do something,” Minako agreed.

Usagi stood up and put her milkshake down on the table with uncharacteristic conviction. Though the Styrofoam cup didn’t make much of an intimidating sound, the movement was still enough to get the attention of her friends.

“I know exactly what to do,” Usagi said with a nod.

“What’s your idea?” Ami asked curiously, though some of the others seemed wary.

Usagi took a deep breath before revealing her plan. “I’ve got one word for you: sing along!”

The other girls were rightly wary.

~oOo~

As it turned out, one sociopathic cannibal was no match five teenage with celestial patterns in colorful high heels. They had him tied to one of his kitchen chairs, apprehended, and thoroughly harmless within just a few moments. Though the kitchen was large and absolutely spotless, Sailor Moon had no desire to look inside that fridge for any snacks.

“Exactly what are you planning to accomplish here?” Hannibal asked, his voice oddly calm.

Sailor Jupiter tightened the ropes binding him to the chair. “To teach you a lesson.”

Aside, Sailor Mars shook her head slowly as she spoke quietly. “This is never going to work.”

“It’s not the worst idea to attempt non-violent punishments to encourage someone to reform their ways,” Sailor Mercury said with an uncomfortable smile, though her tone of voice revealed that she was also unconvinced.

“So you’re planning to kill me,” he said, almost amusedly.

“No,” Sailor Moon said. “We’re keeping you here all night.”

He arched an eyebrow at her. “And?”

“You’re going to repeat after me and sing all the reasons why it’s wrong to be a cannibal until the sun comes up,” she said, her voice firm and resolute. “In the name of the moon, I’ll educate you!”

At first, it took threats of attacks to make him sing the songs, all of which were simply nursery rhymes changed to have lyrics that discouraged eating other people. They were steadfast in their promise, though not everyone was able to stay awake through the slow process. On top of that, Hannibal was absolute tone deaf and couldn’t hold a single note.

Sailor Mercury occasionally chimed in with facts about the health ramifications of eating other people, especially due to the high fat content of heavier meals. The plan seemed ridiculous and ineffectual at first, but as the night went on, Hannibal’s imperturbable demeanor broke to frustration after the fourth repetition 'Did You Eat the Muffin Man?' and the third of 'Mary Had a Little Human Whose Skin Was Not Delicious.'