Jaheira is Not a Deadbeat
I am, as always, deeply in love with the kids' ambient dialogue while waiting for Jaheira to come inside. And it's time for me to have Opinions.
FIG: I saw her! I swear!
RION: Are you sure? Maybe it was just a laborer holding a shaggy grey mop!
FIG: Be serious, Rion! Who puts braids on a mop?
FIG: She'll be here any second. Maybe she's sneaking!
RION: Doubtful. We'd hear her knees cracking.
And of course my favorite:
RION: Enough, Fig. There's no point getting your hopes up. She'll be back when she's back.
FIG: You don't think she will!
RION: I know she will. But we'll wait a little longer, if you like.
Rion absolutely knew perfectly well what she was supposed to do from Jaheira's instructions. She just didn't want to. She's been hanging on to the desperate belief that Jaheira was going to walk through the door and make it unnecessary - and, as it turned out, she was right.
OK, fuck it, I'm doing a post about this now. :P
Despite what the Tumblr BG3 fandom would have you believe, Jaheira is not a "deadbeat mom." Is she a parent with emotional constipation issues and way too much time at work? Sure. But so are plenty of other parents on both Toril and Earth. It's SUPER clear from the way all the kids (including Rion) talk to and about her that they LOVE her and she has been an enduring presence in their lives, and that her recent disappearance was both unusual and devastating.Ā
There are books she reads the kids up in the bedroom! Fig is so excited to announce she's back, indicating that the absence is not a normal occurrence! Jhessem has convinced herself they share a bloodline! Jord got to go to the market with her as a boy! These are not the circumstances of children who do not give a shit about their parent or vice versa!
The devnotes about Jordās conversation in particular do not show a picture of a man with ill-will towards a mother who felt it customary to abandon him:
JORD: I tended to it. I just let it... thrive in its own independence. You know, same way you raised us. (Devnote: Well meant potshot at his mother, no malice in it)
JAHEIRA: I raised you to be a sweet and kind boy. What happened?
JORD: I watched what you did instead of listening to what you said. (Devnote: Amused, gently mocking his mother)
JORD: This house has taken in a lot of children over the years. Mother dear was sometimes more commander than, well... mother dear. (Devnote: Smiling, explaining why he and Jaheira trade barbs. No criticism, just understated affection)
It is, perhaps, worth noting at this point as well that Jord - and Rion, and Fig, and even Jhessem - speak with that teasing, mocking tone towards Jaheiraā¦ but so does she - towards the people she cares most about, including you as the player. The kids are acting as they have learned, and words like this can and should easily be read as gestures of affection. And they clearly trust Jaheira enough to bring this playful rudeness to the fore without fear of it being misconstrued or turning into hostility.
And if they are like Jaheira in this way, theyāre also not going to be comfortable showing the real depth of their feelings in front of you, the player character - who is fundamentally a stranger who has just walked into their house. Why would they? Jaheira clearly doesnāt; indeed, even her more serious conversation with Rion only takes place outside where even the other children arenāt listening.Ā
Perhaps most significantly, I truly donāt understand how anyone can interact with Tate for even a moment and think that Jaheira does not have a deep, if often unspoken, bond with the kids she raises:
JAHEIRA: I hope you were hibernating, little cub, I canāt think of another reason you wouldnāt come down to say hello.
TATE: Jaheira! I d-didnātā¦ didnāt w-want to see if you were r-really dead. They saidā¦
JAHEIRA: Who said?
TATE: Jord and Rion. They didnāt think I c-could hearā¦
JAHEIRA: You little sneak-thief. Well, they were wrong. Look! Not dead! I justā¦ had a few adventures.
She is so soft and gentle with him in a way that she is with no one else, a way that indicates that she knows him and how his personality is different from the others. And he in turn has clearly been utterly devastated by the idea that she might be gone.
Take, as well, the evidence provided by Minsc when he is present in these conversations! Thereās plenty of evidence to indicate the degree to which Minsc is guided by Jaheiraās behavior - to the degree that a doppelganger wearing her face was the key ingredient to binding him temporarily into the Cult of the Absolute. And Minsc - far more comfortable with emotion than Jaheira, at least in some ways - is clearly very affectionate with the kids as well:
FIG: STAND ON YOUR LIVER!
MINSC: It is stand and *deliver*, little Fig. Though I think I like yours better. You bellow like a true berserker!
JHESSEM: A fine day to you, saer. Are you known to this court
PLAYER: Eh?
JHESSEM: Ugh - play along, would you?
MINSC: Lord Boo is most pleased to make your acquaintance, my lady! Word of your grace has spread far and wide among the hamster houses. (Devnote: Swooping in to preserve the child's make-believe after the player ruined it.)
JHESSEM: Enchanted!
MINSC: Boo is also very well! And happy to see *you*, Rion.
RION: And I him. Enough that Iāll let him keep his lumbering, sweaty steed inside.
Would Minsc have taken it upon himself to have such a comfortable relationship with these children if Jaheira did not? I doubt it. Heād be friendly, certainly, but this familiarity goes a great deal beyond that.
And as for Rion herself - it's definitely reasonable to assume that she's had a strained relationship with Jaheira as she's grown older. (I have a lot of headcanons about this for my specific worldstate canon, but even just sticking to the game canon, it definitely seems like that's the case.) But leaving aside that - can you blame her for being upset at this particular moment?
As far as Rion knows, her mom was recently emotionally devastated for an indeterminate reason. (Minsc's apparent death. None of the kids are surprised to see him arrive, so clearly none of them knew he was supposed to be dead - but also there's no way that Jaheira didn't look afterwards like someone hollowed her out from the inside.) Then, without further explanation, she disappeared for what appears to have been several months (again, clearly not standard procedure), and after weeks of no contact, sends a seven-word message indicating she is about to die.
How exactly is Rion supposed to feel at this moment? This is an incredibly emotionally fraught circumstance, and if it's precisely representative of her overall relationship with Jaheira I will eat my hat.
Also - much is made by the game, by Rion, and by the fandom about that seven-word message, but if you try to chastise Jaheira about it, she gives further context:
PLAYER: Only seven? Thatās cold, Jaheira.
JAHEIRA: The cleric who cast the Sending was wounded. Should I have sobbed on her shoulder?
Jaheira was caught in a no-win situation. Trapped in the Shadowlands, a terrifying ordeal all by itself, with a gaggle of Harpers she had to protect, many of whom had apparently been injured by their encounter with Ketheric Thorm. If the only cleric she had access to was wounded, this was before they reached Last Light and met Isobel.Ā
Jaheira had ZERO reason to hope at this point - but she also still felt her own inescapable responsibility towards the people under her command. To send a longer and more emotional message would have been to put strain on her injured comrade and also risk making it very clear that she felt the situation was hopeless. The Harpers very well might have broken and scattered, condemning themselves - and, frankly, many others, given their crucial contributions to the final Act 2 fight - to death.
And then she lives, against all her own expectations, and returns to the city. And her dialogue reflects her conflict over this fact as well:Ā
JAHEIRA: I have given you much reason to think that Harpers hoard secrets like precious stones. But I promise you, this was not some intrigue. Just, ahā¦ plain and simple foolishness. As if by keeping clear of my family, I might keep them clear of the cult in turn. And if this fight were to go against us, wellā¦ they had already done their mourning. Why visit it on them twice?
She then goes on to discuss the city and her place in it - and relates it directly back to her kids as well.
JAHEIRA: I was wrong to think I could keep my children from this fight. Theyāre Baldurian born and bred - the only damned reason I root myself in this place. This city is a cesspit. An open sewer of the soul, that taints us with its filth and churns us out when all that is good has been stripped away. It also happens to be their home - and so it is mine. Ugh. That might be the first time I have said that out loud.
If Jaheira wanted to disappear and leave her kids to handle themselves, she would have done it a long time ago. It wouldnāt be hard; she is fully capable of vanishing into the wilderness never to be seen again - and in truth, thereās every reason to believe she would be considerably happier to do soā¦ except that it would mean leaving her children behind. They ārootā her in Baldurās Gate despite all of her previous inclinations and everything that comes naturally to her, and everything she does is guided ultimately by the need to protect the city because it is their home.
And that, my friends, is love, a love that she shows even if she does not know how to voice it.
TLDR: Jaheira's absence in the Shadowlands was definitely not a normal occurrence, and her kids clearly love her deeply and were devastated by her apparent disappearance. That she is a woman who keeps herself far too busy with work and has no idea how to express her own strong feelings does not, has not, and never will make her a "deadbeat."
