#minordepression

So, I have this weird thing happening - this is the second time that I reach a major life goal and I have a major breakdown following.

Of course I wouldn’t realise straight away - I’ve been in a depressive episode of sort for the last few weeks, and only today I realised it happened just after I reached a big goal.

The previous one I could barely recognise as a depressive episode, likely due to lack of awareness and comparison, but it also happened straight after reaching a major life goal.

But this time I did a lot more thinking.

What if it’s really like this?

Now I need to figure out what’s the trigger(s).

I can think of a few for now:

- reaching a major goal doesn’t change my life for the better as much as I thought (or not at all).

- reaching a major goal leaves me unfocused and without direction at least until I find the next (big?) one.

- I worked hard to reach the goal, and in some way pushed through exhaustion, and now that I reached my goal exhaustion caught up.

Maybe all three at the same time, even.