The explanation came the morning after.

You were one of the first people on deck, as always. The sky was dark, clouds hanging low over the sea.

Soft rain was fraying over your face.

It was peaceful at first as you stepped onto deck, until you saw a younger recruit huddled in a corner, already being tended to by another soldier.

You walked over, worry taking over your mind.

"What is it?" You asked, voice soft to the young man as if he'd startle like a frightened foe. He held his head in his hands, fingers digging into his scalp, pulling hair enough to tear some strands out.

He didn't give a coherent answer, shaking his head and muttering about hopelessness.

You knew the look on his face, because you had seen it once too often.

Because you had worn it yourself.

You straightened up, eyes searching the horizon.

Your lips pressed together as you saw what the young soldier did. Your thoughts of a last meal were proven to be correct.

At the skyline, the absolute behemoth of an emperors ship started building, creeping up on the warships back. You squinted trying to tell the flag, the rain obscuring your view, until being able to make out the beard painted on the skull on black background.

"Damnit..." You muttered, fist closing around your sword handle. Your stomach churned.

You didn't know if it was in rage or fear.

You stormed into the captains study. He was discussing with a few subordinates, about something that you didn't deem of significant.

"What the hell are you doing, [L/n]?" He growled, hands twitching around his pen. "I should be the one asking that!"

Rage was bubbling in your stomach. "You didn't think to tell us about the Mobydick closing in? There are children on this ship!" Your hands slammed against the table so hard the pens cluttered.

A few confused and anxious glances were passed amongst the present officers.

"These children your are referring to signed up themselves. Thier training and experience is sparse, they would only cause unnecessary panic if -"

"Bullshit! You're letting us walk blind into a battle we don't have a chance of surviving!" You cut him off.

"You're overestimating your impact here, [L/n]." He grew agitated. "Your experience and strength might be of high tier but your status is not. My decision making is none of your concern, or business." He took a deep breath, regaining his composure. "The new recruits will adapt to being Marines. This is what they signed up for. You're dismissed."

"The Whitebeard pirates are going to attack and kill all of us. You know how they are about prisoners, how can you let us die like this-?!"

"Dismissed. [L/n]"

You stomped back onto deck, hands quivering with white, blind hot rage.

The Captain knew about you - and especially experiences with pirates. He knew about Rose-Harbor.

And yet he dismissed this issue like the emperor that was sneaking up on you, breathing down your neck was just some new-world rookie-pirate.

"[L/n]," a few recruits came to you. "What's going on?"

You were never officially put in charge of the rookies, but you were the one who'd train them in actual survival, tips and tricks that saved your head. You grew on them and they grew on you.

You couldn't look them in the eyes. Couldn't look in their young faces, the youngest on board were sixteen.

And they would likely stay sixteen.

"Brace yourself for a battle you won't return from." Your words silenced the boat like a gunshot fired in the air.

All soldier in earshot halted.

The mood from the previous evening still hung in the air, now amplified by your statement.

"The Mobydick is chasing us. We will fight an emperor." You didn't believe in lying to them.

If faced with battle, playing down what was going to happen only made it worse. War with pirates was bloody and cruel.

You learned earlier in life than you liked, that in order to fight pirates, you had to be bloodier and crueler.

The ship was closing in, slowly. Creeping. Mocking. Taking it slow intentionally to burn out all the nerve you had.

You had suspected more chaos to unfold. The ship started buzzing in preparation, scrambling to get weapons ready, straps tightened, cannons loaded. It was all quiet, not much conversation going on, everyone lost in thought and fear.

A young recruit started crying after a couple of hours. The stress was heavy, pushing and suppressing air flow and coherent thought.

Those God awful pirates knew what they were doing. They had played it before.

This game of cat and mouse.

The roles of Thier Games were never switched up. You watched the ship come closer and closer.

You had heard about the Mobydicks unbelievable speed, but seeing it so effortlessly catch up to a warship was still impressive - in the most terrifying way.

By noon, almost every soldier had written letters to Thier loved ones, letters that would likely never reach them. The ship was almost within range of the rear cannons, but only creeped on that edge. A cat not yet crouching to attack.

You stood at the railing, the rain had faded, leaving behind a bone chilling cold. Every quivering breath was visible in the crisp air.

It wasn't your first time fighting strong pirates. But it was the first time fighting a whole emperors crew.

You had fought single admirals of those four mythical people before, but never anything like the main crew.

Whitebeard's ship was packed with twelve division commanders, each strong enough to bring your ship trouble. You didn't want to think about the fight against all twelve of them.

The Mobydick took the leap into fire range, sudden, without provokation, without warning, the fight had begun.

"They're closing in!"

A golden blue flame ignited at the enemies ship, speeding towards the marine ship.

'first division commander..' your brain reciprocated all the bounties you had seen in the newspaper all these years on repeat.

Cannon shots were fired at the pirate, that was now circling the warship like a hawk over a field of terrified mice.

Each canon missed pathetically, landing in the ocean with a loud splash. You bit your cheek enough to draw blood, the metallic taste was familiar on your tongue.

The ship closed up dangerously close now, but they didn't fire. They weren't out for mere blood. They were out for blood on thier hands.

You drew your sword, just in time to block a gunshot, blade reflecting the faint light of the first division commanders circling overhead. You knew the face of the man that had fired at you.

Sixteenth division commander Izo. The ship was now flank to flank with the marine ship, pirates starting to invade the deck.

As soon as the first pirate set foot on the deck, it was like a switch flipped in your brain. You fell into what you had made yourself to be.

Blood splattered on the wood as you cut yourself through the pirates that came like a flood. Your sword was dripping blood after mere moments had passed in battle.

Your slaughtering would've continued if it wasn't for a blade blocking your own. Fifth division commander, Vista.

A talented blade wielder, for sure. You could immediately tell by bis stance and the confidence practically radiating from him.

You parried his attacks, they came quick and flowing, evidence of years of training. Yet, you weren't disadvantaged in the fight. Callouses on your palms from hundredthousands of swings a day were edged deep into your skin, you remember your palms bleeding at the end of each day.

"You have some good swordmanship, child." Vista jumped back, initiating a short standstill of the swing exchange.

"I don't want praise from someone like you, scum." You spat, disgust evident in your voice, stand tightening.

"Not a big fan, huh?" He chuckled.

It made your blood boil. How he stood all smug grins and laughter as if he wasn't stealing and murdering for fun.

You closed the distance he had created just a moment earlier, blade missing his skin by an inch. A new kind of determination came over you. You wielded your blade so quickly it was only visible as a flash of steel in the air, keeping the whitebeard's swordsman on his toes, not leaving him a space to counter attack.

Despite your best attempts at making his head roll over the already blood soaked deck, he kept parring all your attacks, a viscous, yet playful glint accompanying his eyes.

Vista felt tingles in his spine at the glares you were shooting at him. The pure, unfiltered bloodlust dripping off of you wasn't something he had ever witnessed before. This wasn't a regular disdain for pirates. Something had happened to you. Someone had planted this seed of hate deep within your mind.

You weren't fighting him to protect your allies, or push your belief for good and wrong - no.

You were fighting to kill him.

To see him die.

He was itching with curiosity, all while enjoying your vile way of fighting that came with a finesse that made your swordmanship a hate fueled dance.

"you are quite the fighter, I must say!" His smile turned into a full on grin. He knew it agitated you. That why he did it.

"Shut up!" You almost got him with a direct intent to pierce his gut, but his blade blocked your own.

Up close, he could see the hate swirl in your eyes. How it made your fingers tremble and your chest heave. It had literally consumed you to the point you didn't pay attention to anything but killing him.

He was more than just intrigued.

"you're playing a loosing game, child."

You scowled. "What are you talking about..?" You didn't pause your attacks, yet he held you in place with his own. "Look around! Even if you beat me, there's nothing to win."

Your eyes darted to the side, getting stuck on the sight around you like a fishhook on the maw of a trout.

You hadn't noticed the commotion around your fight die down. Hadn't noticed how your commandors had fallen, the recruits were long gone as well.

A circle of spectators had formed around your fight, betting and conversing lightly, as if your fight was a game of poker.

Vista felt your stance falter, acting on your let down guard immediately.

He didn't want to kill you.

No, not yet.

So his knee met your stomach. Harshly. He might be a swordsman, but he had his fair share of martial arts knowledge as well.

You went down heaving for air, blade clattering on the wood just out of reach. Your ribs were aching.

"what? You ain't going for the kill, Vista?" A voice to your left - Marco you believed, mocked you opponent. "C'mon I bet money on this!" Another joked.

Your vision was still swimming, but you shakily reached for your weapon anyway. Your hand had finally reached the handle just as a boot was placed on the steel of your blade.

Your eyes glared up, meeting the ones of Izo once again. He had his gon pointed at your head.

"you're beat." He spoke leisurely, as if he were bored. "Just give it up."

An action meant to intimidate you into obedience, but it only provoked you further. You grasped his wrist lightning fast, pulling him down with all your strength. He lost footing on your weapon as he stumbled forward, pulling the trigger too - maybe out of reflex, maybe with intent to kill - either way, the shot missed and fired into the wood next to Vistas feet.

You drew your weapon out from under him, the using your tight grip on his wrist to fully pull yourself up.

You stood slightly hunched over, still in pain from Vistas kick, but standing and at attention.

You fought back the pirates that stood unmoving just a second before, and were now trying to get a hold of you again.

You did well, mostly. But you were off balanced, still heaving for air and outnumbered a hundred to one.

Another bullet fired past your head, stunning your limbs for a split second. Just enough for Vista to knock you down with his sword handle.

This time, they didn't give you a chance to recover. A was knee pressed into your back, cuffs immediately locked around your wrists.

Despite your fate being decided, your struggles didn't waver.

Like a rabid animal you tried scratching kicking and biting everyone who came within reach. You were hoisted up, leveraging all your weight against the direction Izo tried to pull you.

"are you seriously still not giving up?" Izo was equally irritated as he was impressed by your sheer determination. "What you're doing pointless."

You didn't answer because you knew he was right.

It seemed like Izo was done trying to drag you over the floor, hauling you over his shoulder instead.

You were gonna try to struggle more, but your ribs were stinging in pain. And your ribs being pinned between your weight and Izo's shoulder wasn't helping you breathe either.

"If you start struggling again, I'll knock you out."

You attempted a scoff at his threats, yet all that escaped you was a small huff.

You were dropped off in the middle of the Mobydick's deck, kneeling on the wood before an empty sitting chair.

You had a feeling who it belonged to.

Your suspicions were proven to be correct as heavy footsteps started coming your way.

Now, you had heard a lot of stories regarding Whitebeard. You would've never thought his presence would be as huge as everyone rumored it to be. You were right, but in a different way.

It was so much bigger.

For a moment, all your clarity about killing pirates flickered.

How would you even kill someone like that..? You felt like he'd squish you like an ant if you even had thoughts about attacking him or his sons.

He sat in his chair, looking down at you with no particular malice. Merely interest, if you read it correctly.

"So," His voice boomed, even though his voice was relaxed. "you caught my Son's interest?" He scanned your frame leisurely, as if he were looking at something so far inferior that it wasn't even worth taking seriously.

You took note of several division commanders gathering around you and Whitebeard.

You kept your mouth sealed, jaw clenched in agitation. Despite the intimidation, you started feeling your rage crawl up the back of your neck again.

Vista stepped forward. You would've lurched at him if it wasn't for Izo standing over you. "Pops, I would like to demonstrate why it is this marine stood out to me." Vista gave Izo a look, a signal.

your cuffs were opened and a sword was tossed to your feet. You hesitated for a moment. You still wanted his throat cut. Still wanted his blood shed.

But this wasn't a fight anymore.

This was show.

Even if You managed to get the upper hand in the fight, another member would just cut in to make sure the fight wouldn't end fatal.

You caught a glimmer of your reflection in the steel of the blade. Catching the splatter of blood on your face - blood that definitely wasn't yours.

Your stalling made the pirate across from you frown. "What, don't tell me you care about everyone watching?" He pointed his sword at you. "Does our little marine perhaps have stage fright? -"

You didn't let him finish his mocking, blade colliding with his once again. You were well aware you were playing right into his cards. He wanted to show off and he was successful.

Sparks were flying as your battle continued. You were still on your feet, still able to fight, but your movements slowly but surely grew more and more sluggish after each swing of your sword.

You blocked an attack from above, just barely before it hit your right shoulder. You had blocked a couple similar ones from the pirate before, but you were fading in strength.

Your left leg buckled pathetically under the pressure, knee colliding with the deck painfully. Vista only added pressure against your sword, which was hardly holding on.

You knew you were inferior to him in pure muscle strength. If you let this go on much longer, it would be at the expense of energy and your right shoulder.

You diverted his blade to your right instead, grabbing his wrist quickly, stopping him from regripping his sword. You used the right grip on his arm to haul yourself upwards. Your left hand still clutched your sword, swinging towards his neck.

You could almost see his head rolling, but a bullet cut through the air. The sound stunned you for a second, but what really saved Vista's head, was the bullet hitting the steel of the blade close to the handle, knocking it right out of your hand.

The blade dug itself into the wood a few feet away from you.

Despite all your building exhaustion, you still mustered up enough energy to send a glare at Izo, whose gun was still smoking and pointed at you. You were contemplating to simply lurch at him, using the weapons mother nature gave you. Biting and scratching until you got somewhere and it seemed like your stare gave you away, since Izo's hand tightened around the trigger again.

Whitebeards laugh flattened the tension immediately. "I think I've seen enough." A toothy smile grew across his face. "Marco," he called out to his son, immediately parted out from the crowd. "patch the Marine up, we will figure out what to do with them after."

━━━━ ━

You tugged lightly at the cuff around your right wrist, which was what secured you to the medical table you were sitting on now.

Your uniform was torn and bloody in some places, red spots still growing from open cuts on your skin. You were aching everywhere and in all secrecy, you were glad for medical evaluation and treatment.

"any medical history I should know about?" Marco's voice was eased, as if he were talking to an old friend. He sighed at the lack of response. "If you don't tell me, I'm not gonna look out for anything."

The only answer he got was a glare. He shrugged it off, instead trying to evaluate the damage dealt to your body. "Damn. Vista just can't hold himself back, huh?" He huffed, but not to you.

"Is that even a surprise?" Izo was leaning against the wall by the door, arms crossed over his chest. You didn't know when he had been designated to be your personal guard and follow you everywhere, but here he was sure acting like it.

The pirate did a thorough check up. Reflexes, testing swollen areas for broken bones, fixing smaller ligaments, all things you didn't even notice happened until the adrenaline had worn off. Now you were left with a dull throb of pain ricocheting around the entirety your body.

"Yeah, you're definitely getting a few days of bed rest. You got yourself a nice concussion."

You frowned, shooting him a sharp look. "You can keep glaring. You're still on bed rest."

━━━━ ━

Sengoku stared at the report file on his desk as if it had personally offended him. He had to read the papers twice until the words clicked into his brain.

The report has started off normal, a ship had been attacked by pirates. Nothing rare.

But the whitebeards?

And that ship specifically?

All the bodies were found, except for...

He pinched the bridge of his nose. For him, you never were a big deal. Strong and reliable, just what a good marine should be like. What he was rather dreading, was the talk he'd have with Sakazuki.

He was the one who had plucked you out of Rose harbor all those years ago after all. Sengoku still remembered it vividly. Maybe, because it was the first time Sakazuki had shown interest in a way he usually didn't. Maybe, because it was the first time seeing a fifteen yearold covered from head to toe in pirate blood, with eyes burning with hate like hellfire all while shedding tears.

He shook the image off his mind.

He didn't want to conjure up assumptions about where your body was - maybe even where you still were, if you somehow survived. The whitebeard pirates weren't known to be particularly merciful to their enemies after all.

━━━━ ━

You had thought long and hard about what was to come next.

If they wanted to kill you, why would they just do it already? There was no reason for them to keep you alive. You didn't give them any advantage. It set you off and gave you a sliver of confidence at the same time.

If they haven't killed you yet, maybe they would falter if it came down to battle. Even a second could be useful after all.

You didn't even think about help from the Marines. They wouldn't look for you. Not if you were a single missing body in a pile of corpses.

Even if they knew you were alive, it was unlikely they'd face the whitebeards for you.

Escape was your only option. Pushing aside whether or not you'd even be able to do so under the emperor's crew. But from what you had been able to pick up from the pirates conversation, they would dock a packed haven soon to restock.

If you had a chance, it would be then.

It was early in the evening now. The ship had lost a good amount of speed, you figured it wouldn't be long until arriving at your destination.

You felt hyper aware of everything. If this went wrong, you wouldn't be getting another chance again. You waited for one of the pirates to bring you food, as they have done for the past few days.

Your heart rate spiked. This was going to be up to pure luck. Would a recruit come down the stairs, or one of the division commanders. It had been both in the past, this would decide if you would even manage the first step.

Your eyes struck on the set of boots that strut down the staircase from above. A younger face, but not a strong one.

"c'mere marine. Get your food." He mused, calling you over like a dog. You did come over, taking the bowl from his hands.

Your nerves were strung tight.

You tried not staring too obviously as he turned around.

The bowl clattered onto the ground, content spilling all over the wooden floor. You gripped onto his shirt, pulling him back against the bars. One arm sneaked between the gaps of the cell, wrapping around his neck - and just for extra security - held onto the next bar as well. The other hand closed around his mouth.

You couldn't have him screaming. He thrashed and scratched at your arms, luckily not remembering the sword on his belt. After a few moments, he went limp on your hands.

You fished around his pockets. Hoping for a key, but your luck wasn't enough for that. Instead you opted for a pocket knife he had hidden on him.

You dropped him slowly, trying not to make a noise, before taking the knife and focusing on the lock. The blade was thin and a little curved up.

The best of the worst, at least.

You rummaged around in the metal, ears sharp for any click in the lock. Finally the door creaked open.

You took a couple of breaths. You couldn't rush now. You had to think carefully. You moved quickly, with featherlight steps that still felt too loud in your ears.

You took the coat off of the pirate, hiding your although blood stained white uniform. It offered little coverage but it was better than nothing.

You dragged the knocked out pirate into the cell and threw a cover over him before leaving and shutting the cell door. You rushed towards the stairs, ears sharp for any footsteps coming your way as you made your way towards deck

You were going to fight blood and teeth to escape this ship. Whether that would cost a sacrifice or two was unimportant to you.

Your body was twitching for the single thing occupying your mind.

You wanted your freedom back.

━━━━ ━━━━━ ━━━━━ ━━━━ ━━━━

Had to make a part 2 cus Tumblr is having trouble saving ts already even though I'm like only two thirds in :v