#minho;

He slipped it in casually during a recent letter to his mum, an ‘I met someone, or rather, I’ve known this person for quite some time but have just come to realize the true nature of my feelings. I think I’m in love.’ In all honesty he wasn’t expecting much back in response, mostly a letter undermining his feelings and playing them off as if they didn’t exist. His mother always wanted to control every aspect of her children’s life and with two of three children being away at school it only made her yearn for more control. To Mrs. Lee her children weren’t just her children, they were her prized possessions and the more they progressed and blossomed into successful human beings, the more proud she became. They were her life’s work, and there was no room for failure and displeasure.

  Oh, what is this? My charming youngest son has met someone? Please tell me it’s that darling Aislinn Cavanaugh. The both of you would look exceptionally well together. The envy of everyone! Charlotte even agrees with me. There is not a better boy for her daughter! The only thing I worry about is the children having freckles, that family has as many freckles as they do galleons. Such a pity. I keep telling Charlotte there’s a potion and a few glamours that can fix that right up but of course she never listens. Sigh. You just can’t help everyone, now can you? Oh, right, where was I, dear?  Yes, yes. Aislinn. She’s quite a lovely young woman, very intelligent…

  Taemin stopped reading then and there and set the letter on fire, right in the Great Hall, before he could digest the rest of her nauseating words. He sent back a reply the next morning, after he spent the night venting to Kibum in their dorm, which only contained the following three words: It’s not Aislinn. Her reply arrived by dinner, he was already expecting it and knew the basis of what it would contain.

  What do you mean it’s not Aislinn? I’m going to be honest; I’m disappointed and am asking you to reconsider. You don’t love this person, son. You’re young and your feelings will pass. Now in the meantime, you should really consider Aislinn. Taesun said there’s a Hogsmeade trip coming up soon, why don’t you ask her to be your date? I’ve spoken to Charlotte and she says Aislinn always raves about you in her letters home, I know she’ll say yes.

  His eyes are taken off of his mother’s words as he lets out a laugh, his breath visible in January’s cold winter’s air. It’s a long minute before his laughter ends with a choked sob and he’s ripping the letter into pieces and lets the wind blow them away from the Quidditch pitch. His gloved hand is working to wipe at his eyes, removing the moisture that falls from them. He wasn’t crying. It was just the cold weather making his eyes watery.

  It was a joke, his feelings were a complete joke; to his mother, his elder brother, his friends, and probably to Jonghyun as well. There was no one that would ever take him seriously if he had admitted to his feeling publicly. Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to confess to Jonghyun, to stand in front of the brunette and tell him that he loves him. It’d be sudden and surprising but maybe… no. Taemin couldn’t get his hopes up only for them to be smacked down by reality. It would be disgusting. Boys weren’t supposed to love boys. Even if it were acceptable, boys like Taemin Lee were supposed to love girls like Aislinn Cavanaugh and not boys like Jonghyun Kim.

  Taemin didn’t want to love boys like Jonghyun, anyway. He just wanted one boy. Jonghyun. Not someone like him; why settle for a cheap imitation when the real thing was taking up residency in the same bleeding castle? Taemin didn’t understand why out of all the people in the castle he would fall for Jonghyun, and maybe it wasn’t really love. He didn’t know him as well as other people did. He only knew what he saw, and what he saw he absolutely adored but it wasn’t enough. Taemin wanted to dive deeper into the depths of Jonghyun Kim but he didn’t know how, and he wasn’t one for stalking. He just wanted to know everything about the boy who enticed him so, who wouldn’t leave his head for more than a few minutes and spent his nights evading his dreams.

  He loves him, he knows this. It feels a lot like love or what he always imagined love to be. Love was more than blood status and money, more than outside appearances and arranged marriages. Love was being with someone who made you happy, it was learning about someone and maybe not liking everything but accepting it because it makes that person who they are. Love is forgiveness, love is… the feeling of breathlessness and nerves he gets when Jonghyun looks in his direction. The warmth that courses through his veins when he hears the other laugh, the way his heart contracts and he feels whole when Jonghyun smiles. That was love to him. But was it enough to upset his family and go against everything he was taught? If it wasn’t, was it still love? Fourteen years-old Taemin knew that not all love was worth fighting for, but this was Jonghyun and that changed everything.

  “Taem, you’re a bit early for practice. Doesn’t start for a good twenty minutes!” a hand comes up and pats him hard on his back, causing him to shift forward on his broom. “Trying to get on Captain Flint’s good side? Doesn’t matter, I’m still going to take over Quidditch captain next year.” The handsome fifth year circles around Taemin on his broom, a smirk etched into his features as he watches the other, his look going from curious to concern with he notices the tense silence. He’s just about to question it when Taemin beats him to the punch.

  “Minho, I’m in love with Jonghyun and I think I’m gay.”

  His circling stops at once, and he turns to face Taemin. The look on his face was unreadable as his eyes stops to search the fourth year. Minho whistles as he lets out a breath “…what did you say?” he wanted to make sure he heard correctly because in all honesty.

  “I said…” but Taemin stops speaking before he could get the words out of his mouth. Had he just come out to Minho? It was unplanned and unexpected, usually Taemin was good at hiding his emotions but he was in a state of panic and his face showed that as he looked everywhere but the chaser. His hands trembled as he tries to grip his broomstick tighter for support. “Nothing.”

  A snort sounds from the other before a crooked grin appears on his face. He resumes circling around Taemin again. “Didn’t sound like nothin’. C’mon, we’re best friends, are we not? We’ve seen each other naked, slept in the same bed, I think it’s okay for us to add a little honesty to our friendship. So you’re in love with Jonghyun Kim for some odd reason, and you think you’re gay.”

  The calm and playful tone in Minho’s voice is enough to put Taemin at ease and calm his panicking, his hands were still trembling and all he could do was give a slow nod of his head in response.  

  “We both know that’s bullshit.” Minho laughs and nudges Taemin’s arm with his shoulder. The seeker only grunts in response, his brows knitting together in slight offense. “How does someone think they’re gay? It’s a black or white thing, mate. Either you are or you’re not! You can be bisexual but let’s be honest; you’re all talk and no play with the ladies, Taem. So, you’re gay. You are. You don’t think you are, you just can’t let something as “imperfect”, “twinky” and “irregular” mess up the image you got going on for mummy and daddy, it’s cool. I get it.” He gives a slow nod and reaches out to place a supportive hand on Taemin’s shoulder, massaging it lightly as he continues on chatting like everything was completely normal, and for once Taemin felt like maybe things could be. “As for the Jonghyun thing. That wanker? Are you sure you’re not under the imperious curse? The Taemin I know would have much better taste than a bloody Gryffindor. But hey, if anyone can tame that lion--it’s you.”

  Before he could stop himself a laugh escapes from parted lips which wastes no time and escalades into a wide smile. A warm happiness spreads through his body, the correspondence with his mother temporarily forgotten. “I don’t know about that. I don't think he bats for our team. Have you seen the way he and the muggleborn are always together?”