#minhag

I saw this post, and I realized that what I take for granted knowledge wise may not be so, and people rarely talk about the intricacies of Minhagim.

(btw, what I am saying applies to all the different groups but for the rest of the post I'll be mainly using the Sephardic and Ashkenazi b.c. I am lazy)

We use the terms "Ashkenazi" and "Sefardic" (etc.) to refer to where our ancestors came from (or more likely lived in 1500s or so), which is fine! But that not 100% accurate. Or at least it would be more accurate to say that that is a secondary meaning that is used a lot, but there is a primary meaning which can get confusing.

The primary meaning of these terms is "Which bundle of Minhagim do you follow?"

Now seeing as minhagim are traditions that carry the weight of a law, usually it is your ancestry, but not always!

We will take 2 obvious cases first, then talk about some other ones:

First Someone who converted. Now obviously since they converted they have no (halachically) relevant Jewish traditions. So what do they take? One might be tempted to say "whatever area their ancestors were from" but honestly that makes no sense. They don't have a tradition from those people, just geographical happenstance.

Rather they are to take on the traditions of the community/location where they converted. So a Polish person might become Sephardic, or a Italian person Ashkenazi.

The Second is marriage. When people get married (with some exceptions) the wife is supposed to take on the husbands traditions (don't @ me, we can discuss gender in Judaism another year). So, a Ashkenazi woman who marries a Sephardic man is now Sephardic (though they would usually say that they follow Sephardic customs to avoid confusion).

And it is worth noting that many people keep their exes traditions even after getting divorced.

Now to some more interesting ones:

A Jew who was raised not religious in any way has no tradition! So if they become religious later in life, they can take on any minhag they desire. Usually they do end up taking their ancestral one, or the one of the community they live in, but there is no need! (lpt for those becoming religious: 1 hour between meat and milk is a valid minhag that you can take!)

And finally: Moving. If a Ashkanzi Jew moves to a purely Sephardi area, they are obligated to take on Sephardic customs! This is actually the big one, all the others kinda fall from it, but on the other hand it is basically not applicable anymore.

Way back when, when travel was a big deal, you would probably be the only Sephardi in Poland, so you couldn't really keep it.

Nowadays that basically everywhere is uber multicultural that ruling isn't applicable, but still interesting!

Like am I allowed to have small decorative holes? If so, how many? And how big? I’ve seen fillet crochet challah covers (see below) before, but I’m not sure they’re technically allowed.

The classical Jewish view in this matter is that tradition is of great value but only insofar as it serves as a means of worshiping God. Judaism as a historical religion naturally gives considerable binding force to the ways of the past because it is in these that God's will becomes revealed. There is an appeal to tradition in Moses' song (Deutoronomy 32:7):

Remember the days of old,

Consider the years of many generations

Ask thy father, and he will declare unto thee,

Thine elders, and they will tell thee.

David Gans (1541-1613), the author of Zemah David, one of the earliest works on Jewish history, quotes this verse as Biblical support for the study of Jewish history. A Talmudic interpretation (Berakhot 35b) understands the "father" in the verse: "Hear my son, the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the teaching of thy mother" (Proverbs 1:8) to be God and the "mother" the Community of Israel. Solomon Schechter's idea of "Catholic Israel" as the source of Jewish teaching and its deciding factor is based on Rabbinic views of this kind. The verse in Proverbs is also applies by the Rabbis (Pesahim 50b) to local and parental customs which are binding upon those affected by them.

In short, the Jewish tradition itself is that of Jewish tradition deriving its authority not from and in itself but from God. Tradition is helpful as a guide. It is not a god to be worshiped.

So, first off, Chabad and Lubavitch are essentially the same thing.

A quick reminder to please practice kindness, understand that we're at different points in learning how to navigate these sometimes complicated identity situations, and remember this person is coming here to get assistance in how to better navigate this aspect of their Jewish identity