#mine though

Crisscross, big boss

Got you on the sideline

Flip flop, hip hop

Can’t see that you’re all mine

Picking up, making out

Fry me like a live wire

Squeezing tight, all your might

Can’t find out that I’mma liar

What I want, I can’t have

What your back cuz I’m mad

Power crazy, gone wild

Out to getcha, love child 

Your my affliction

Love addiction

From a distance 

My insistence 

Means you’ve gotta run now

There’s no time to slow down

I see your sideways glancing

Your eyes want my romancing 

Do you find me entrancing

Why do you keep chancing

Encounters with me

You outta break free

Give into your sin

And watch me begin 

I’ll let it unfold 

There’s truth to be told 

You’re more than you seem 

The truth that you deem

Unsafe to remain

Untouched and untamed

Our hearts will collide

Consumed with our pride

I want you inside

This knot that I’ve tied

A noose and I’ll wear it

A cross and I’ll bear it 

You hide yet you share it

You sweat yet we’ll fair it

Do you want to feel my love?

Do you want to see my love?

Do you want to wear my love?

The convergence itself is Secret's Corner. A name that is, to my knowledge, barely official, claimed only on the lips of those who grew up around it and, charmingly, emblazoned on the local bus timetable.

Secret's Corner has a near mythological place in my heart.

As a child, before I had the knowledge of the place in actuality, the name was fantastical. Perfect. The platonic ideal of an evocative location. Secret's Corner. It was whatever I wanted it to be, whatever I could imagine it to be, and everything beyond my imagining.

A nexus of secrets. The convergence of all that was possible and all that was not. A promise of a life filled with slowly unfurling marvels, mysteries revealed with more forever waiting. A future of endless joys and lessons and novelty.

Even now, decades later, the name sends a frisson of exaltation through me. I was close enough to the old home today to see the words, still somehow more real than anything surrounding it, on the timetable next to a bus stop.

Alright! I hope that I'll hear from you soon! :)

Don’t fucking notice me today

I’m under the covers and I’ve spat out all my pills

Please don’t look at me today

I chewed on my nails until they bled down my fingers

Please don’t talk to me today

I looked at my naked body for an hour before I put clothes on

Please don’t stare at me today

Netflix is on and I’m wrapped in that scarf you got me for christmas

Please don’t text me today

I turned the bath on hot until it scalded me and planned out all the ways to kill myself without you noticing

Please don’t message me today

Everything hurts because I do not love myself enough to help my dying body

Please don’t call today

Everyday I feel like I am dying

and there is no escape from the internal collapsing

of the galaxies in my heart

Please

Please