#mindsbeat.

francesca spencer was a good nurse, and she was aware of that  —  she furthered a lot of her studies post-graduation to make sure that she could provide assistance to anyone that she was scrubbing in on. she was well liked, or at least she hadn’t heard anything otherwise  —  and she never second-guessed having to page a surgeon to provide updates when a patient was beginning to decline. well, other than when it came to taren beck; a pep-talk in the bathroom was necessary before she sent the page and slowly made her way towards the nursing station, fingers tapping anxiously on the counter top, chart at the ready. taren doesn’t even have time to settle herself across from the nurse before franny is talking, quickly and probably not in a tone that was easily understood.   “   i think he managed to sneak out for that cigarette that we had warned him not to have  —  he’s in respiratory distress, but i provided him with a dose of prednisone which was in his chart, and i gave him more oxygen through a face mask, he was complaining about the nasal cannula, and also made sure that he was sitting upright which he is not happy about.   ”   a pause, mostly to catch her breath.   “   the prednisone seems to be working, but i thought you may want to request an xray or ct scan to make sure nothing else is wrong.   ”

hands remain clammy, and become more-so with each hand that he shakes. this wasn't just a regular work event  —  not for elijah, having to work multiple angles throughout the night: a dotting date to his ex-fiancée that was wearing a white dress, an intern that is hoping to make way into the minds of surgeons that will teach him, and someone that is carrying the agosto name. barely a moment of peace, and those that were peaceful were fleeting; someone interrupting a conversation or finding him at the bar when hes trying to grasp hold of the liquid courage that is necessary  —  especially after the word-bomb that dropped at the podium with their chief’s speech. he’s muttering to himself when taren ends up next to him at the bar, lips immediately silenced and hand attempts (and fails) to loosen around his glass.   “   interesting speech, huh?   ”   the tone doesn’t fit someone that’s not worried, but he forces a smile on his lips. 

francesca thrived in these settings; social butterfly bursting from its caccoon and making sure that it was everyone’s problem. however, needle-like sensations begin to slither up her legs with each step, and an immediate sigh of relief once the heels are kicked off and the coolness of the bathroom tiles are against her feet. a medical professional, and a momentary thought of how clean the floors are before shoulders shrug, body leaning against the counter top. it felt as though the night was going by in slow motion  —  dinner hadn’t been served yet, but her body begged for a seat and something more enjoyable than the little bags of candy she snuck into her clutch. eyes are closed as she stretches her muscles, working out the tension that's building the more she stands, head slowly and cautiously making circles to help out any kinks in her neck when the door opens dramatically. lids whip open, hues landing on maddie with a sense of curiosity and worry behind the gaze.   “   you okay?   ”

there’s a sigh of relief when she allows herself to fall back into the chair, the pain that was moving up her legs slowly beginning to disappear the longer she allows her weight to be off them. occasional accidents were one thing, but the mass causalities always fucked with their heads, always causing the what if scenarios to linger in the back of their mind. what if they got the scene quicker? what if they knew the patient was also bleeding internally in their abdomen? what if they were quicker at scrubbing in? it’s not only nerve wracking but also mentally damaging. thankfully, she hadn’t lost one that night, although she was working tirelessly to keep it that way today, refusing to allow anyone else to add to the number of fatalities. eyes are closed when taren walks in, and she doesn’t immediately open them; the silence causes them to flutter open and look towards her.   “   not in the mood for a heart-to-heart or screaming match, taren. sit down, eat whatever the fuck you have in the fridge and enjoy the silence.   ”

to say that he’s enduring an adrenaline rush was just the beginning of it,  thankful to have been at the right place at the right time.  he can still feel the blood in his socks,  drying as each minute ticks on by,  knowing that the showers were going to be his best friend once he finished his debrief;  scrubs clinging to frame from the sweat that peeked out from his pores.   the emergency department had been slow,  which he knew he’d regret saying the moment it happened,  but alas,  he did it.  overnights were the worst,  having to sleep on the dreaded cots in the on-call rooms and always feelings as though you couldn’t actually sleep because your pager would probably go off the moment you begin to drift off.  last night was different,  however;  awoken by the door whipping open and the yells of other interns telling them  (yes,  them)  to get their asses into gear because of a large car pile up.  he’d been the first one to the ambulance when it pulled in,  already exhausted from bolting through the hallways to the emergency doors,  and before he could fully comprehend what he was doing,  his hand was inside someone’s chest cavity to try and stop the blood  —  resident shocked that he acted as quickly as he did.  the blood had been shocking once the chest was cut,  which was the main reason he had reached in,  trying to find the bleed and eyes widening once he felt the pulsations in the left lower quadrant of the heart,  and even more shocked when he wasn’t yelled at for being stupid but yelled at to not move. “   sorry that was kinda stupid for me to do,  i should’ve just let the resident work.   ”   those were the first words from his mouth,  half terrified to be scorned but more-so terrified to no longer work on cardio anymore.  he’s trying to lighten the mood with a slight smile.   “   yes,  it’s dangerous,  that’s why it’s fun  …  right?   ”