Need to get something off my chest here.
I will not graduate on time. And the only reason is that was a fucking lazy ass and didn’t start on my courseworks on time and now I have shitload of papers to turn in on thursday and I really don’t have the time to write them.
I have two big couseworks that are semi-intresting, but they have to be at least 10 pages each and I really suck at writing long papers. Other than that I have 10 mini courseworks that have to be around 2 pages each but they take a lot of time because they’re research on topics that there is no fucking information on. And my professor won’t even read them, but still I have to turn them in and it’s driving me crazy.
So I don’t feel very optimistic about managing which means I won’t pass the course (again) which means I’ll have to wait until February (and that’s the earliest) to turn in my courseworks and pass the course so I can turn in my thesis in July. Which means I’ll be graduating next year.
I’m not sure how I feel about that. I don’t really need the diploma any time soon so it’s not a big deal. But when I think about every time that somebody will ask me about it and I’ll have to tell them... Uggghhhh, I hate this.
It’s not a big deal, a lot of people graduate later. There are people that are still in their third year because they didn’t pass some courses. But the problem is that I did, I passed all of my courses which were harder and many people strugle with them and not passing a course that all you had to do was sit on your ass and write... And the professor likes me. It’s so embaracing. This is the third time I have the opportunity to pass and once again I’ve done nothing.
Something that really upsets me is that all the reasons to mentally kill myself trying to finish in time are outside of me. Not to dissapoint my parents, not feel embaraced about it... Family, friends, teachers, society.... And the one and only reason that is for my self is just to be over with it and never to have to do it again.
Idk, let’s try and see what happens... *sigh*