Honesty has a good reputation it hasn't earned. Look at it closely and it falls apart as a concept, as a value, and as a practice.
Honesty Is Often Selfishness in Disguise and Often Agression
When you tell someone an uncomfortable truth, ask honestly: who benefits?
Sometimes the answer is genuinely them. But often the answer is you. You feel relief from carrying it, you feel morally clean, you feel superior, you feel "real and authentic and brave". The person receiving the truth pays the cost of your emotional hygiene. Brutal honesty is frequently just brutality with good PR.
And on the other end telling your boss she looks beautiful in a dress she doesn't is that dishonesty? Or is it a small, costless act of kindness inside a relationship defined by power imbalance, where your "truth" was never asked for and serves nobody? The person who refuses to do this on principle isn't more virtuous. They're justsmart, and enen not more selfish. Simply white lies are a survival mechanism.
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1. She knew that there was a secret about her parents but she had never expected her father to be the fool who regularly picked fights with her uncle Chao. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel about this all but she would always be on Chao’s side because he understood.
2. Jing Bo, one of the few survivors of the Bo-massacre became her best friend when she was four because unlike other children, he had the same empty and dejected expression on his face and his eyes and it was impossible for her to leave him to his loneliness.
4. She realised quite early that Jing had a crush on her but because she wasn’t sure how she felt, she chose to act like she had no idea of this. On the other hand, she was the first to notice how Ping always blushed around their sensei who was just two years older and really beautiful.
5. Many people always thought that she saw Lan Fan as an older sister but first and foremost, the older girl was her friend. Meimei was her older sister because the Cho-girl believed in her.
6. She was fourteen when she heard in the village that Meimei had gotten hurt on a mission and she prayed that everything would be alright again as she ran over to the estate where the Cho-clan lived. She had been there many times and she shouldn’t be this worried yet she was as she danced around the sleeping dogs to avoid stepping on their tails before she finally reached her sensei’s bedchamber. And there was Meimei with her broken leg and for a second, Min Li’s whole world froze on its axis before it finally crashed down.
7. Two months later, she was given her own team to train and for the first time, her elders didn’t look down on her with their usual frown but for the first time, they smiled slightly because her hard work to improve herself finally convinced them that she wouldn’t run off like her mother.
8. The moment she believed Lee to be dead was the worst moment in her life because Lee had been the sunshine in their mentally scarred and slightly disturbed team. Without Lee, she knew, nothing would be like it used to and she chose this moment to go to find her mother – because how could she, the so-called flower of Team Meimei go on if there was no sun that made her grow? And so she tried to hide from her misery and the feeling that she was to blame.
9. To meet Jun Li wasn’t the way she had imagined it to be. She had thought that maybe, she would understand herself better after meeting her mother but nothing alike happened and Min Li had to realise that it was – once more – too late to change anything. She had grown without a mother and now, at fifteen, she didn’t need a mother because she was nearly an adult and as an adult, she could take care of herself.
10. The war between in which the village where the Ming resided, the village where the Chang-princess came from and Yuèyá Quán were allies once more and fought the Fei-clan and there cronies was the most terrifying experience in Min Li’s life.
11. The first time she smiled after the war had started was when Ping brought Lee home.
12. The moment Jun Li appeared on the battlefield and turned the thing around, Min Li believed that she had never felt more happiness because this meant that her mother had never stopped to believe in their village and its people – and this made her feel happier than before.
13. Once the fights were over, only a few people were there to witness the scene between Chao Wei and his beloved younger cousin but Min Li saw it all and she smiled as she saw how they hugged for the first time in years and how everything was alright again.
14. And after the war, Min Li finally met her father who was nothing like she had imagined him. He wasn’t like his nephew who had been laughing and eating most of the time. Lei Yao was serious and less happy-go-lucky than the emperor and in Min Li’s eyes, it was good this way. And Lei was yet as funny as Lan Fan and Ling had described him and Min Li felt like she had came home after a long journey.
15. She was the first one to know that Ping thought about proposing to Meimei and she was also the first to know that her old friend would be a father soon. She was, on the other hand, the last to know that Lee was crushing on a civilian.
16. Her hairstyle was something she never changed between her sixth and eighteenth year. The low twin buns with the flowers in them were her trademark – just like the different colours of nail polish she used to express that she was female. Both things had the function of reminding her of the important women in her life: Lan Fan, Jun Li and Meimei.
17. She shocked everyone when she didn’t marry Jing Bo when she came of age and caused a small scandal as she was caught with Chao in a not-so-innocent position. Rumours were loud that Chao was the reason behind her unmarried status but Meimei Cho confessed that she had tripped her former student so that she would crash into Chao and end up in top of him. So the reason behind her unmarried status was in question once more until she and Chao finally admitted that they had had deeper feelings for each other.
18. She married Chao in the spring of her twentieth year. To her, spring was the only season to marry in because she had a weak spot for cherry blossoms.
19. Just like the Amestrian Minister of Science, Min Li lived after the rule of ‘go big or go home’ and therefore, she went for five children. Seeing that she was the most stubborn woman of her town, it was no surprise when she got the five children she had wanted.
20. To her, happiness was to sit in the garden of the Wei-estate, surrounded by the cherry trees she loved so much as she watched with Chao how their children played.
She had dreamed of following her family’s path, of becoming a strong warrior. This had been the fate she had expected, the fate she had desired. But as she was born with a frail yet healthy body and clumsy hands, her dream was so far away – nearly unattainable, impossible to reach without years of pain and injuries.
And as she realised that it would require hard work, she dedicated herself entirely to her goal to become stronger. Who needed slept and food when the dojo was empty and she could practice all on her own, never being teased and taunted by those who already managed to handle weapons without cutting themselves?
Min Li did not need those things – or she refused at least to need them.
When Chao, her guardian and her most precious and important person, nearly died from poison after being cut in battle, she started to doubt her life. After running after the dream all her life, she stopped and wondered if it was really smart to die for someone who did not even know her name. She was scared, she needed Chao to tell her what to do but he was dying and could not say anything and her world spiralled out of control for a few moments, breaking her completely.
But even then, she did not break or back down. She retired at the age of fifteen upon losing a teammate. The tears of those who had known the boy were too much for her to bear and she had better things to do – like to support Chao in everything he did. She was happy with her life and stopped chasing her dream – she had new dreams now, dreams that were not killed as easily as her old one.
Her new dream was to become leader of her clan and to achieve this goal she threw away all her uncertainty and her fears of not being good enough. She would never share her old team’s philosophy of ‘go big or go home’ but she walked with her head held high, never shattering again.
She had braved the storm and while she had not become a legendary warrior, she had become strong enough to reach her inner peace, her inner paradise. At the age of twenty, she was wiser than a woman who had many times this age and she was content with her life and the decisions she had made on her way.
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