Guys, I’m so sorry for not posting in ages but my life has been like craaazy. So many things happening in the last weeks in Luxemburg but I’ll try my best to post on time again.  And now feel free to enjoy!

If you want to be tagged please tell me! Please fucking reblog if you like this series <3

Prologue Chapt. 1 Chapt. 2 Chapt. 3 Chapt. 4 Chapt. 5 Chapt. 6 Chapt. 7 Chapt. 8 Chapt. 9

The moon shines so bright that you can’t feel the ocean

It didn't take long for her to calm down and that felt wrong. He knew that this was a dealbreaker thing inside of her, there were issues he couldn't even imagine and it had all come up to the surface but she didn't allow it there.

Milli didn't know her good enough to tell why yet, but he hoped that this would change. After less than two minutes she pulled away and gave him a small smile and something about it was honest, at least something. Although the situation was kind of miserable she still looked like she had won it and thinking about it like this wasn't entirely wrong. Just like always it was her game and somehow she even won when Milli was in control for a few minutes.

Her eyes lit up a little more and she smiled at him brighter, a quick thank you before she was turning back into her usual self.

“I'm still kinda cold. Gonna get a tea for me, and you want one as well?”

Once again this wasn't really a question, she had already decided that she would bring a tea for him as well, he couldn't change that and he didn't want to, at least right now. Before today Milli had never known how fast moods could change but now he just wanted to enjoy the moment, the time with her. Who knew how fast she could change her mind.

“I'm thinking of another way to warm you up.” Milli told her a little smile peaking at his lips.

“I like how you are thinking. But I feel like having a tea a before that. You come with me to the kitchen.” El was smiling while bossing him around so Milli got up and followed her.

“Sit down.” she ordered once they were coming into the kitchen.

She was humming the emperors waltzer while boiling up some water and Milli didn't know if he had ever seen something cuter and right in this moment he knew he was falling in love while also knowing this was a really bad idea but maybe just maybe it might be worth it. And if it wasn't worth it, he was already in too far.

El got out two cups, put in the teabags not even asking him what he wanted, she just decided for him. This didn't really surprise him nevertheless he was so comfortable in this situation he felt more self-confident than ever before with her. In her game, he still was one of the main characters.

Milli got up and hugged her from the back his hands wrapping around her waist. Elena felt so small and skinny between his fingers, she was just a girl. When he was honest although they had seen a couple of times by now, he didn't know how much about her besides her character, he didn't even know how old she was. It was time to change that.

She leaned her head back into his embrace.

“I could get used to that.” she sighed happily.

There was a moment of silence which both of them were enjoying before she turned around and looked at him truthfully.

“You look beautiful.” she said before leaning in for a short kiss.

It wasn't sexual, it was a kind of appreciation and he liked that so much more than he thought he would, he needed that. He missed that.

“I could get used to that.” Milli said smiling at her and she smiled almost laughing a little.

She turned back around to put the water in the cups and then she took one in each of her hands.

“Let's go back to my room.”

It wasn't really a question but it wasn't an order either, it was an invitation for him to come along.

He opened the door for her and closed it behind her, her bedroom door was still open and she went in, put down the cups on the bedside table and waited for him. Milli said down on the bed and before could even think for a second she was joining him in a way he didn't expect. She was direct just like ever, El straight sat down in his lap. It would have been a lie to say he didn't enjoy it.

Each of her legs were beside his on the bed, she looked him in the eye.

“I, personally, don't believe my explanation was enough to make up for yesterday so now it's on you to decide what would be a good apology to make you believe that I am taking this seriously.” He knew he could ask for sex, she wouldn't mind it. This wouldn't be a blackmail thing, El knew that he forgave her already though he had no idea why. This was her way of finding out how to please him and he liked to be in control for a least one action.

Maybe it should have taken him longer to know what he wanted thinking about all the emotional drama in the morning but once she had asked him, there was only one thing coming to his mind.

“You'll come to my next home match.” he ordered and he liked doing so. “Alright, that's next Friday right? I guess you get me tickets?

Please don't do this private area thingy. It sounds boring. I'd rather be in the stance.”

It took her just half a second to make his moment of control fade away.

“Do you want to bring a friend? You'll have two tickets tomorrow. But for that, you gotta go out for dinner with me.” he demanded, a little more taste of freedom.

“Bold of you to assume I'm letting you go home tonight.” She smiled and kissed him again.

“I could really get used to that.” Milli said before kissing her back.

Prologue Chapt. 1 Chapt. 2 Chapt. 3 Chapt. 4 Chapt. 5 Chapt. 6 Chapt. 7 Chapt. 8

If you want to be tagged please tell me! Please fucking reblog if you like this series <3

Special thanks to @madtimer and @maximillis you two keep me going <3

Chocolate tastes like your smallest affection on a moody day

It rained when he arrived there just to make this all a little more tragic as if Milli's pain wasn't enough drama yet. He stayed in the car just for a few seconds because after thinking about what he was going to do for any longer his brain would have pulled him out of this. But it was exactly the way his granny always used to say

“You've got a strong heart my boy, it's stronger than any other power inside you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Love it and embrace it.” This hadn't changed the last few years but Milli was never good at embracing it, maybe this was the right time, maybe he was here to embrace the love within him, to take it and give it without expecting anything in return.

When he looked up she was making her way on the sidewalk just a few meters from the car. This time she didn't see him but in the blink of an eye Milli got out of the car and followed her to her apartment. She was wearing earphones and didn't notice him until she was searching for her keys.

El pulled her earphones out and smiled at him.

“Hey.” she said softly.

Prologue Chapt. 1 Chapt. 2 Chapt. 3 Chapt. 4 Chapt. 5 Chapt. 6 Chapt. 7

If you want to be tagged please tell me!  Please fucking reblog if you like this series <3 I’m also sorry for the unreliable updates, from now it there will be an update every Sunday afternoon/evening

Humming never lasts as long as the rhythm

The night passed somewhen but he didn't wake up to a text from her or a missed call. There was nothing, no sign she still was alive and a part of him had the urge to call again but the rest of Milli was so angry he didn't consider thinking about her positively.

However he had to watch it when he saw that she had posted a story on Instagram but nothing that meant a lot, just a picture of her and some friends, all of them girls with a lot of drinks in someone's home. Still, that seemed to be more important to her than meeting up with Milli. He had always been coming when she had asked, one time he asked she left him in the cold.  

Playing games, it was all about playing games, keeping him hot and ready but he couldn't play that game very well. Heck, he didn't even understand how it worked while she was the goddess of this game, the damn creator of it all. Milli was just a toy that was used by her.

Exactly this moment and this feeling were the reason why his brain didn't want him to play any games he could and he would lose.

She had a too big of an influence on him, he knew that. Coffee didn't taste well that morning and his acai bowl was more like a shoelace.

While feeling so low he considered going to Roman and Lou, he really did but he was pretty sure he knew what they would say and damn it was a free day so they had better things to do than to cheer him up. Milli didn't want to annoy anyone with his bad mood so he sat down on the couch and put on a TV Series. However he couldn't bring himself to follow the story by heart. Though he didn't want to admit that she was still in his mind there was no space left for anything else in there.

He tried to get rid of El by taking a walk but that didn't work out. Of course, it didn't.

Inside his apartment wasn't helping him neither was outside. Milli was desperate, he ordered lunch at home and then kept staring at the walls while listening to music that just couldn't represent his mood because he didn't know what he was feeling.

Around three he reconsidered calling Roman and asking if he could drop by for an hour or more, something feeling like a family. Damn he would love to be around his mum and ask for her advice right now but he didn't want to call her and explain it either. She would worry way too much and he didn't want that.

He didn't call Roman either after he had seen a picture of Lou sleeping in his lap in Roman's Whatsapp story.

Nevertheless, he couldn't stay at home any longer, the walls were tumbling down on him. He put on something and went out to at least have dinner somewhere else before going back into his sad bed alone at night.

No sign from her until then, Milli was just on the way out into his car and he wanted to decline the call, he wanted to be angry, he wanted a lot, he wanted to make her feel bad but he couldn't.

So Milli answered the call, she sounded sorry, she said that she was and asked if Milli wanted to come to hers, soon.

“Why?” Milli simply wanted to know.

“I – honestly...you have absolutely no reason to do things because I ask you. I would even understand if you don't do it. But maybe you just want to come, be around, maybe I can tell you why.” “Okay.” Milli ended the call and he wanted it to seem like he was still considering what to do but he knew what he was doing the moment he sat down on his seat.

He knew where to go and he went there.

ohhh Lisa you are so cute <3 <3 <3 thank you so much for your sweet words :*

This was a horrible idea she knew from the beginning. Thomas wanted to show her his beautiful home country, Denmark, where you can eat the best swirl ice cream in the world (his words not hers). It was perfect during his summer holiday, it was warm and pretty. The beach was never far away from wherever they were. Helena liked that, she could imagine going here more often. Her favorite place was Skagen the place in the north of the country where the baltic sea and the north sea meet each other. In contrast to this, she didn't like his plans for the last day, their second day in Copenhagen. Thomas super excited to go to the Tivoli, an amusement park in the heart of Copenhagen, he loved because it reminded him of being young, he joked.

She hated rollercoasters but he was so excited that she didn't dare to tell him, so she just smiled and agreed. The park was beautiful but now she was sitting in a roller coaster halfway into a panic attack, trying to breathe close to normal.

He took her hand, looking at her concerned and he said something but they were going too fast on the rollercoaster for her to understand. When it finally stopped she couldn't tell how long the ride was. Helena saw Thomas standing up beside her and then reaching down to cup her cheek.

“Hey I've got you.” he whispered softly “Follow me.”

Then he pulled her up from the seat and away from the rollercoaster until they were at a bench. Before she knew what was happening he had sat down and she was on his lap. Her ears still ringing and her breath going too fast.

“Relax.” he told her, his hands resting on her stomach giving her a pressure to breathe against.

He didn't talk much, he didn't make a joke, he wasn't reassuring her the whole time and she liked that. Thomas just helped her relax using his body, embrace and warmth, after a minute or two she finally could feel herself calm down. She was okay, nothing happened, just a dumb rollercoaster.

“Are you better now?” he asked once her breath was going easier.

Helena nodded.

“Can you talk to me in words, min skat?”

She took a deep breath.“Yeah, I'm still a lil dizzy and sick to the stomach but I don't feel like breaking down anymore, so that's good.”

Thomas turned her around with ease so she was facing him.

“It's lunchtime anyway. What about going for some nice food to calm down?”“Sounds amazing.” Helena replied.

“Great, then we're gonna go, get some. And next time you are afraid of something, just talk to me. I don't ever want to put you in danger not physically not mentally, remember that.

And now we got something nice!”

Helena had to smile, she loved the trust and the love in their relationship but she also loved that he didn't try to make this a big thing or to judge her

She loved Thomas definitely.

Send me a sentence and a player and I’ll write a drabble for you

Prologue Chapt. 1 Chapt. 2 Chapt. 3 Chapt. 4 Chapt. 5 Chapt. 6

If you want to be tagged please tell me! (Nvm just gonna tag if you seem to like it) As always feel free to reblog and comment as much as you want! I am so sorry I didn’t update on Tuesday, I was sick and yesterday we threw a surprise party for a friend and it past midnight when I got back but here we go

Your bed at 4 am feels like a different reality

Later that night she texted him saying how much she enjoyed that and they should do this more often, well they did.

They spent a lot of time with each other in the next weeks, bars, restaurants, ice-skating.. He had never been out so much in so little time. Usually, he would prefer to sit around watching some netflix maybe including some chill or just cuddles. Milli never asked her to come. She always did and he never said no as long as he had time, to avoid saying no, he sent her his training and matchday schedule very soon. It was easier this way, she knew when he was supposed to be where and could ask when it was the best for him. He wanted to ask he really did, it was no his lack of interest but she was always faster and Milli never knew when to ask and what they should be doing. It was too soon to ask her to come to his place, he decided for himself.  Right now he liked her games but he didn't want her in such a personal space yet to mess it up if the games were going the wrong way again.

Nothing in his apartment should remind him of her and whenever he was lying in his bed he already imagined what it would be like if she was there as well. This was more space than she was supposed to have yet

Everything was innocent so far, light kisses, hands touching, fingertips feeling the other's skin but nothing sexual about it, just people kissing and touching.

On Sunday they met and she was talking with him about the game and she would love to go to the stadium, how pretty it must be inside.

She liked the stadium and the girl liked breaking rules, Milli had an idea for a date, finally! The next day he called in some favors while Roman and Marius told him this was the brightest smile they had ever seen on his face, no lies there.

Things were just working out the way he wanted to without him having to plan any of this. Step by step without thinking about it, just going with the flow.  Milli never felt so close to flying in his life, no doubt he was in head over heels but it just felt right.

Once he had everything set up for the date, he texted her, asking if she wanted to come to the Westfalenstadium around 5. El replied saying she needed half an hour more because she had UNI longer on Tuesdays. Milli was fine with that, easier for him to go home and change into something less comfortable but something that would look better on him. Last time they met he wore a button down shirt and she had told him that she likes it when he dresses up a bit. Apparently, it makes her feel special and furthermore she had said, he looked damn good in it. Therefore Milli put on a blue button-down shirt he had bought with Alex exactly the day he had first met Elena so this had to mean good luck for him tonight.

About twenty minutes before he needed to be there he was waiting in his car for her, because the sun was still going down in the early afternoon and then it was ice cold in the late afternoon and evening at the end of February.

After half an hour he didn't want to go out either, sometimes she was unpunctual and she knew his car so it should be easy for her to find him, otherwise she still could call.

Ten minutes later there was no call and no girl there so he got out of the car to look around, maybe she was coming another way, thinking he wasn't there yet. Milli wasn't always the most punctual person either so that would have been understandable. He walked up and down around the Stadium, even to the Fanshop but no sign of her.

Then he decided to call maybe she needed a little more time, UNI might have been stressful or taken longer, Milli couldn't know that.

No one picked up, he called again, same play. Milli went back to the car feeling like he had just been pushed into the coldest water. It hit hard though he tried to deny it.

After another half an hour during which he called her another two times and texted her three times, Milli couldn't deny it any longer and started the engine to go home. His heart was feeling so damn much and his brain was angry that he didn't listen to it. His brain told him not to go in head over heels.

He didn't sleep that night not because his bed smelled like her, he would have liked his bed to smell like her. No, the idea of her was lying heavy not in his bed but in his mind and his heart.

Prologue Chapt. 1 Chapt. 2 Chapt. 3

If you want to be tagged please tell me! (Nvm just gonna tag if you seem to like it) As always feel free to reblog and comment as much as you want about what you like or don’t like, even just leave an emoji

Blue shirts always taste the way home smells

The next morning she was gone but a headache was there to greet Milli. Without a look on a watch, he could tell it was not that early but neither was it past lunchtime, probably half past 10 or so. He usually is up around 9 on the days he has off but he always stays in bed for hours until he really gets up to do something. He likes doing nothing for a few hours here and then.

The sunlight wasn't bright but it was bothering him even through halfway closed curtains but Milli didn't want to get up either.

He considered to take a look at the watch to find out how late it really was. But when he reached for his phone on the nightstand, his phone wasn't the first thing he found there. There was a paper on top of it. Someone wanted him to find this as soon as possible and he didn't even need to think for a second to know it must have been El.

He didn't remember much about what happened after they had left the club still, he knew that she had been with him when he had gotten home. Milli had wanted to fuck her, sure as hell. He remembered this very clearly but he had no idea if they did it.

He hoped to find an answer to this question on the piece of paper. It was hard for him to concentrate on the words because his head was killing him. Milli made a mental note to never go that hard on alcohol again and was so fucking happy that he didn't have training today.

He took a breath in and out and then he read it.

“I'm an idea that lies heavy within your bed, your dreams, your heart and your life.” was written on there, followed by her number.

Did that mean, that they didn't have sex? Milli wasn't sure so he searched for a used condom later that day and didn't find any. So they definitely hadn't.

Something about the note pissed him off. It didn't feel right. This wasn't making any sense considering how she had behaved around him last night. El wanted to be fucked and nothing more, she made that extremely clear and then she decided that she didn't? It was okay if she didn't want to but then with the note... This was something different, it was about messing with him. It wasn't fair because he knew exactly what game she was playing. Making him feel like he owned that and then taking it away from him just to keep him on the edge.

He felt like a little boy and decided to just forget her. No one was allowed to make him feel like that, he didn't want that and he didn't like that.

Milli ripped the paper apart, threw it in the trashcan and went to take a shower. The cold water cleaned his body from last night’s guilts.

Brushing his teeth, washing his face and putting on new clothes made him feel like a human again. He texted Alex to find out where he was and when he was coming back from there.

Opening the windows, letting fresh air in, a healthy smoothie from the fridge with aspirin did the rest for Milli that morning.

His friend came back somewhen in the afternoon, Milli asked him not to talk about it at all, so he could get her out of her mind as fast as possible. He also didn't ask about Alex's night. Today he wasn't a good friend but Alex would forgive him. There had been a few times when one of them hadn't been a good friend and they had always forgiven the other one.

They played PlayStation games and stayed silent, ordered food and ate it. Somewhen Maximilian decided it was time for bed, time to end this damned day. He had training in the morning, he needed to be well rested.

Sleep didn't come for him.

The bedsheets smelled like vanilla and roses and they never did before. It felt like something had changed when it didn't and neither was it supposed to.

His fists in the sheets, sweaty skin, her smell but nothing of it in the way, it was supposed to be.

Prologue Chapt. 1 Chapt. 2

If you want to be tagged please tell me! (Nvm just gonna tag if you seem to like it) And guys, feel free to reblog or tell anyone you think might enjoy reading about Milli. It would encourage me to have a bigger audience :)

Additional easter chapter for you all <3 have a great day and leave me a sweet review egg ;)

My caleidoscope shines brightest without any light

Milli got them another drink and then another and then again one. He wasn't sure how many they had but the conversation got better the more alcohol was in their bodies. Especially because it was easier for him to talk then and El made it even easier. There was a flow in their atmosphere he just needed to jump in and follow it.

They talked when they wanted to and they were silent when they needed a break. Time flew by.

She rarely asked questions, if so she more like demanded answers and he liked that. Being bossed around was something he wasn't used to but he was more a shy character himself and while so many girls wanted their boyfriend to be the extroverted person she didn't. She was more than her own man, he could feel it. Nevertheless, she was also cute, silly and funny. Her character was pleasing him in any possible way and damn did he like that or maybe it was mostly the tequila- but if so he didn't care right now.

Somewhen after drink eight or so she asked if they wanted to go. Of course, he couldn't say no to her but he was a good friend after all so he wanted to say bye to Alex at first. El said she would wait outside, she needed some fresh air. When Milli told Alex that he would leave he just said Milli should enjoy the night and not worry about him.

He probably would sleep at some girl's place anyway so there was absolutely no reason to worry. Just then he realized that Alex hadn't come back to the table ever since El was with him. Honestly that was kinda cool and he wanted to thank him for that but before he could Alex went back to dancing with someone.

So Milli turned around, got his jacket and went out to search for El. Within a few seconds of the cold air hitting him, he could tell that he was drunker than he had ever been.

“It's so different once you are out.” she said once he had found her.

El was standing a few meters from the entry, leaned against a wall of. Out here she seemed smaller, thinner, tinier. Milli wanted to protect her like he wanted to protect his mother because the world is a bad place.

He just nodded, somehow he knew what she meant. It felt different outside it did. The alcohol kicked it and he felt so much more self-confident than he usually did but when he looked into her eyes he could tell that wasn't what she meant so he sent her a mental message to explain and how so ever she received it. Milli suggested her to put her arm around his and she did before proceeding to talk. When she started talking he knew he wouldn't remember this part in the morning.

“Inside there I'm fucked up but I'm extremely self-confident about it. I'm all my body and I know exactly how to use it and then I spit along the right words and I got you. I'm fucked up and I drink too much but I laugh at the right places. I'm so damn attractive this way and I think 'well, this is me. I'm a party girl. I go home with the guys. I make the wrong choices but at least I can reflect on myself. At least I know that what I am, who I am is not what my mum wants me to be but this is me and I am happy with guys and sex and me'.

But out here? Damn, don't get me wrong, I still want to be the girl you take home, of course but...

Suddenly I am another version of myself. I believe in love, I am not in harmony with the person from inside, heck I don't even like her.

Out here I believe in love and other miracles and I'm ashamed because I'm never gonna find it because the girl from inside she ruins it. She wants all the guys and not just one.”

There was a short silence and he could sense the hurt in her but she didn't want compassion he knew that.

“Hell, you are an extremely nice guy so yeah I want you to take me home but for the right reasons, at the right time.

After our third date, when we were at the movies and the movie you picked was awful but I like you, I like how your arm feels around my shoulder, I think it's cute that you didn't dare to kiss me on the mouth until this night, you sticked to my forehead or my cheek. You're shy and respectful and so much not my type that I just can't help but fall in love with you...

It's what the girl from outside wants but she's never staying long. She's easily defeated by all the other versions of myself that just want to be fucked by you, right tonight.

So let's go home because I want my hands under your t-shirt and if we wait too long the girl from outside might win and it would be bad not to get off on that hot body of yours.”

Milli didn't say a word on it because he knew this talk wasn't meant for him. She just had shared her thoughts out loud but she didn't talk to him and there would never have been the right words in his mind to reply anyway.

Prologue Chapt. 1 Chapt. 2 Chapt. 3 Chapt. 4

If you want to be tagged please tell me! (Nvm just gonna tag if you seem to like it) As always feel free to reblog and comment as much as you want!

Loneliness is a sickness you can't cure

Weeks passed and it wasn't like a typical romance. Milli didn't think of her all the time, everything reminded him of her and he was longing for nothing but her, no not like that. If so, he would have simply just called but there was his pride. He was taught to never let someone play with you.

He rarely thought of her because he didn't want to think of her. Never did he want to be the guy who always has to see something in connection with a girl. However, when he saw tequila he was so busy not thinking about her that he couldn't stop so his method of trying not to think of her just led to thinking of her.

There was no space he wanted her to have in his life but he was so stressed about not giving her this space that the idea of her was with him from dusk till dawn and mostly all through the night.

Her words had already been proven, in his dreams and his life, just neither in his bed nor his heart (yet) and it would have been a lie to himself to say he wasn't sometimes contemplating what it would be like.

The ripped paper never found it's way out of his house as well. It was lying in his room and after a few weeks, he put the number into his phone just in case.

Of course he checked her profile picture. Damn did she look good!  She was, even more, his type in daylight. Her eyes as dark as her hair, melting like chocolate into his soul. Her smile was brighter than that night, a little girl maybe her sister or her niece was sitting on her shoulders. Their smile was the same just like the hair. It was cute and there was nothing odd until he read the description

“Roses and vanilla in your bed like me in your dreams” That's when he really decided he wants to quit this game because it felt like she was targeting him personally with everything he got to know about her.

The next morning he wasn't so much himself during breakfast at the club and training.

Nevertheless he didn't expect anyone to notice when he was taking even longer than he normally did in the locker room. No matter what he was doing his hair just didn't follow and the walls just were too black and the air too humid and his mind just didn't stop.

Milli thought he should already be alone when suddenly someone was talking to him.

“Girl trouble?” Roman asked him dropping down on the bench next to where Milli was standing in front of the mirror.

Milli just shot him a questioning glance.

“You have been odd and a little off the last weeks. I guess it is girl trouble.” “How would you know?” Milli wanted to know, trying to fix this damn strand on the side of his head. “You remind me of myself when I had some trouble with a girl so I just guessed.” Roman explained scratching the back of his neck. “Must have been a while ago...” he thought about being sassy and then he decided not to. “But yeah, kinda trouble for me....about a girl.” Milli admitted still not looking at Roman like this conversation was less intimate if he didn't. Milli was bad at being intimate, he didn't know why but he just was and the last months had separated Roman and him. Sure he had always been a great friend but know he was married and they were expecting a child. Times had changed.

“You don't have to talk about it with me. I know I haven't been around soo much the last months, weren't there for you all the time. But you're still welcome, you know. Lou wouldn't mind if you drop by sometime. Talk a bit, she might even bake you a cake if she knows you're coming. She's extremely bored at home...

Just remember that you can talk to me any time.” Roman seemed like he wanted to get up because he didn't expect Milli to open up right now but he wanted to. Milli needed to get that out now. He had been keeping it too long to himself alone.

“Roman, wait I wanna talk right now...” So he started talking about the night, the note, the hate, the pride, the vanilla, and the roses. Roman listened, didn't interrupt once, letting Milli pour it all out like a heavy thunderstorm and he felt so much better after it.

There was a minute or so of silence between them and it felt like Roman was thinking about what to say now and that was an extremely good thing. It made Milli feel appreciated and his worries heard because Roman didn't just say the things you say to someone whose situation you don't know to cheer up. This was deeper.

“Do you want my advice?” he just said calmly.

“Damn, yes. I don't think I can help myself alone any longer.” There was a bittersweet smile on his face.

“Call her, text her.

If I have learned one thing, it's that nothing can change your feelings about a girl. Not a million miles, not your pride, not another guy, nothing.

If you're crazy about the idea of her, only she herself can destroy that when the reality doesn't fit with your idea.

So if you wanna get away from her, let her destroy it and if you don't, then see where you are going.” Roman smiled and patted his shoulder in a compassionate way. His way of saying 'I've been there, hang on. It will be alright'

Milli wasn't so sure about that and Roman seemed to sense he wanted to be alone with his thoughts right now.

“Thank you very much, Roman.” “Of course...” “Don't say something about me being like your little brother. You might soon have a son but you're not wise.” Milli interrupted him with a honest smile on his face.

Roman laughed.

“Just don't forget your older brother and his wife are always there for you if you need them.” The nod Milli gave him in response was leaving the choice open and the first time in a few weeks he didn't feel like someone cut him open.

PS: No I can’t let go of them