#milestone meme

A reading of @marghen's post about the beautiful love of Jonathan and Mina. And whatever Seward and Van Helsing have going on.

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For every 10% we raise, we’ve got a Dracula meme read by our cast to  share with you. To celebrate reaching 80% funded, we’ve got this post!   

Sister Agatha: Oh, finally you open your eyes, young man. What happened to you?

Jonathan Harker: DRACULA.

Sister Agatha: Beg your pardon?

Jonathan Harker: STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING VLAD DRACULA GOD DAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT UNDEAD WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN BATBOY MOTHERFUCKING VLAD DRACULA

Sister Agatha: uh-

Jonathan Harker: STOP TRYING TO STOP ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT VLAD DRACULA I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP BOOKS ABOUT TRAINS IN ENGLAND WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND IN LIZARD FASHION IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM AND I KNOW HES GOT THE WORLD’S SHITTIEST BREATH GET AWAY FROM ME

Sister Agatha: ah-

Jonathan Harker: if i wanted to get into heaven and god said dracula’s waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

Sister Agatha, writing to Mina: so, physically, he’ll be okay, but uh-

Every $1k we get towards our stretch goals, we’re sharing a Dracula meme read by our cast! To celebrate $20k, we have this post!

Every $1k we get towards our stretch goals, we’re sharing a Dracula meme read by our cast! To celebrate $17k, we have this post!

For every 10% we raise, we’ve got a Dracula meme read by our cast to  share with you. To celebrate reaching 60% funded, we’ve got this post!         

For every 10% we raise, we’ve got a Dracula meme read by our cast to share with you. To celebrate reaching 50% funded, we’ve got this post!          

Van Helsing: this guy? This guy knows nothing about women

Seward: professor please

Van Helsing: totally bitchless

For every 10% we raise, we’ve got a Dracula meme read by our cast to share with you all. Our 20% milestone is this post.

Every $1k we get towards our stretch goals, we’re sharing a Dracula meme read by our cast! To celebrate $19k, we have this post!

Renfield: So yeah, as long as I keep leveling up and consuming the food chain, I’ll gain more power and life, seems pretty obvious

Seward: I will admit, that sounds sick (affectionate), but I’m a little worried about your experiment ending with humans last on the menu. What would they even be full of, by the way? Chimps? Dolphins?

Renfield: Ideally either, but humans wouldn’t be the last course

Seward: No?

Renfield: No. Entirely unrelated, what would it take to let me have a trip to the zoo? I really want to check out the elephant exhibit

Seward: Yeah, no

Renfield: That’s you another step closer to the menu, doc :)