NSFW lyric rewrite of Nicki Minajās AnacondaĀ for @mimsiicalās fic, the road goes away from here. Lyrics below the cut :)
[Dirk]
My friendly dick hair donāt, my friendly dick hair donāt My friendly dick hair donāt want none unless youāre human, hun
[Jake]
Weāre here; this deer gave me some sense of fear Big--big ears with his antlers, as he came friggin near Held--held his head there in my hand, and my heart started pounding Then the Fae came onto the scene, and alarms started sounding
Now itās real, real, real Prince thinks Iām fair? I donāt know how to feel And whatāll I wear? Suppose Iād best show my appeal And then thereās Jane who thinks they want my heart to steal I know that deer, though!
By the way, what he say? Gave his Name when he whisked me away Seemed pretty sudden when I woke the next day Then before we hit the hay, Dirklin showered me in praise Think Iād like for him to stay, and I think that soon he may Got me decked out in jewelry ātill I jingle by the tub So I went down on his chub (Is this what itās like to sub?), slipped Down d-d-down d-d-down d-d-down
[Dirk]
My friendly dick hair donāt, my friendly dick hair donāt My friendly dick hair donāt want none unless youāre human, hun
[Villagers]
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak Oh my gosh, look at that cloak Oh my gosh, look at that cloak Look at that cloak Look at, look at, look at Look, at that cloak
[Jake]
This prince named Strider got my heart feeling lighter My-my head just keeps on spinning, feels like spiced apple cider Boy really loves mounting; all he needs is a rider First unraveled all my wants; now heās twisting me tighter
And we bang, bang, bang I pull him closer and ignore poor Jane He made me holler, gents, I sang, sang, sang Came when he called; he hit my bell and I rang So whereās my dear at?
By the way, what he say? Had my Name when he led me away Seemed pretty settled when I woke the next day 'Cause before we hit the hay, Dirklin put me in a daze Think heād like for me to stay, and I think that soon I may Decked in gold 'till I jingle when our bodies start to rub So I go down on his chub (guess I really like to sub), slip Down d-d-down d-d-down d-d-down
[Dirk]
My friendly dick hair donāt, my friendly dick hair donāt My friendly dick hair donāt want none unless youāre human, hun
[Villagers]
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak Oh my gosh, look at that cloak Oh my gosh, look at that cloak Look at that cloak Look at, look at, look at Look, at that cloak
[Dirk]
Got him into Autumn and he's got my heart Got him into Autumn and he's got my heart Got him into Autumn and he's got my heart
[Villagers] (Oh my God, look at that cloak)
[Dirk]
My friendly dick hair donāt, my friendly dick hair donāt My friendly dick hair donāt want none unless youāre human, hun D-donāt, My friendly dick hair donāt D-d-d-donāt want none unless youāre human, hun
[Villagers]
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak Oh my gosh, look at that cloak Oh my gosh, look at that cloak Look at that cloak Look at, look at, look at Look, at that cloak
[Jake]
Yeah I love that long tail, hahaha! Yeah, that tail is fluffy and it loves to wrap around my waist Yes, I love his tail and its softness on my skin Fluffy and itās friendly, fluffy and itās friendly on my skin I wanna bury my face and hands in the fur and shout for Dirklin ācause Heās got fur thatās really goshdamned soft, what?!
I got my furry prince (prince, prince, prince)










