#middleofthenightthoughts

I’m extremely wobbly and stiff on my feet tonight, so it’s the first time one of the nurses, Carol-Ann, has had to accompany me to the toilet 🚽 and I just want to say I’m feeling incredibly grateful to have such kind, patient, skilled staff taking such good care of me ❤️ Btw, we call our little middle of the night wobbles The Toilet Tango 😂! #thetoilettango #middleofthenightthoughts #gottapee #bladdertraining #intermittentcatheterisation #palliativecarewarrior #wobblywarrior (at Cardiff) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxWQ5pgBC-f/?igshid=166soem25zciz

#lymphnodes #infections #fuckyou #middleofthenightthoughts #invisibleillness

So love it when I can't sleep cause I'm thinking about him even though I know he couldn't give two Fucking shits about what I'm doing cause he's too busy with his stupid whore.

Lord I trust you. I trust in you. And I believe you’re teaching me how to trust, how to build trust. Thank you for the patience and grace you’ve given me, Rabbi ❤️

It's crazy how fast someone can spontaneously come into your life, and make such a happy Impact that you really don't know how to react.. After being so use to being treated like just another thing, it's like everything is actually okay. Even if something bad were to happen, life would still be okay because he's there. To listen to your thoughts, hug you tight while you cry on his shoulder and tell you you're beautiful no matter what. He's there when no one is, he's there even when you're closets friends are, because he unconditionally cares. Cares so much that he thinks about you constantly, wondering what your mysterious soul is up to, because you always leave him guessing. He's been hurt, bad still is healing. Until he meets this girl that makes his whole world light up like it once did before. But this time it's different, he's use to the girls that play with his feelings and use him. This girl doesn't want him for his money, or for his popularity. Just for the humble fact that she cares as much as he does, maybe even more. They're two completely different souls that connected in a way neither would've thought to imagine. Love is a crazy, scary, amazing thing. That you only know is pure if everytime you see them even after 20 years, you still get butterflies when he calls you beautiful. Or buys you flowers on your monthly anniversary. It's not about the things you do together, it's about how you accomplish them as a team, and connect as one. The world is full of other lonely souls wandering about thinking the same as the girl across the coffee shop sipping on dark coffee with a bit of sugar, "What am I going to do with my life..." And a month later everything falls into her own hands at once, and it all turns out to be better than good. The choices we make as humans are ones that stick forever as a person. Whether it's what you wear to the club, or who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. It's up to you whether those choices stick for good, and the relationships you make stay stuck together as good as you made them in the first place.

When going through a breakup/feeling heartbroken or wronged it's important to choose your mood-music wisely... You don't want all your songs to be like "pass me a bottle and a cigarette I-don't-even-drink-or-smoke-what-is-life" kind of down. You need to remind yourself there will be a mourning period but it is only temporary... You're hurting choose one down-in-the-dumps song (Amy, Adele, MJB, etc. will do ... Sleeping With a Broken Heart by A. Keys is a good one). You want to also include songs like "I loved you, but you hurt me so--be more careful with how u treat hearts" (ex. What Goes Around by JT). You will need an "you won't find anyone better" empowerment song (I enjoy Why Don't You Love Me by Beyonce). Add an "I'm glad we're through song" , something u can dance to and pretend like you're singing to that person, include gestures (ex. It's Over by John Legend, Irreplaceable by Beyonce...etc.). Last but not least, a song that reminds you of the joys of getting to know someone new, falling in love, and sweet moments you'll share (ex. Bed by J. Holiday)... List is not all inclusive but good foundation/starting point for an "I've-got-the-blues" playlist...