#middlechildprobs

It’s really hard being needy, specially in attention. All you see is the negative side of me. Palagi nalang ako kino-compare sa ate lol wtf kasawa na madinig puro “bat di mo gayahin ate mo” “puro ka tambay ate mo nag ppractice. Tapos bagsakin ka” “ate mo gumagawa ng hw ikaw puro cellphone” “ate mo natulog maaga kasi pagod sa school, ikaw puro tambay na nga lang puyat pa” WHEN WILL THIS STOP 😪 pagod na kong ma-compare. Pag nakita niyo naman ako nag aaral parang wala lang naman kayong paki. Sino ba naasahan samin ng ate ko when it comes to babysitting? Palagi nalang ako. Then sasabihan ako ng "di naman nag aalaga ate mo eh" so kailangan ako mag adjust? Kagaguhan. Then ya'll gonna say na puro ako tambay, puro kaibigan, puro paulo? Eh mas masaya ako when im with them eh. Kasalanan ko bang hanap hanapin ang mga taong nakakapag pasaya sakin? Eh everytime nasa bahay ako para akong nasa kulungan eh. I just can't wait to get out of this fucking house, cause this aint no "home" anymore. To all my friends and specially to paulo, i'm sorry if i'm needy of your attention. If gusto ko ako lang. Sakin lang naka focus and everything. I'm sorry super clingy ko sainyo. Gusto ko lang naman maging number 1 kahit minsan. Gusto ko lang mafeel na nasakin attention niyo na ako naman pina-prioritize. Gusto ko na mag 18, kasi isa lang wish ko sakanila pag nag 18 nako at yun ay yung hahayaan na nila ko kung san ako pumunta and kung sino kasama. I'm so tired of everything.

I wish all my sisters were a little more like me. Cause if they were then we'd ALL be on Tumblr together and ohmygoodness that would make me the happiest girl in the world. Also it'd be like "hide yo kids, hide yo dashboards" cause with all SIX chicks on here at once, things would get cray for dayyzz. Alas, the reality is more like the following conversation I had with Abbs yesterday: Abbs: what are you looking at? Me: I'm scrolling through my Tumblr dash. Abbs: I still like, don't even know what all Tumblr is. It just looks like a bunch of pictures of trees. Me: well I just like trees the most out of anything ever except coffee, so I follow a lot of blogs with pictures of them. But you could follow sports blogs or anything you want! Abbs: Yeah, um, no.