#metromail

Please Don’t Eat the Archives

So, I+I dunno if anyone noticed all these end of the world type-of meteorological events happening lately or am I just a hypa-armageadiac?

So, one of the happenings I found particularly disturbing was the SNOW-like stuff falling from the sky. It seemed like it was concentrated in the Deep South area or, I apologize, the New South; though it was recorded in farflung (and highly, unlikely to snow. Like. Ever. Noba how the variables were varying) places like Lebanon.

Check out what I mean...

As a Green Peace, useless hippy, a neurotic Rave Safe buddy on the lookout for sharp objects, seizures, dehydration and Black Holes appearing and as a person who suddenly has a little bit of money, I was finding my rather Look-For-The-Bear-Neccessities current viewpoint harsh and I have yet to shake that feeling of sinking disappointment because the End of the World is nigh. Is naai. Is a NAAI-YAAAAH.... *performs.screamsnshoutz.in public.especially in public.actually meant for the public* oh, and *doesn't care*

Think of me as your loser, just-starting-out-in-the-ways-of-the-Lord Ghetto Gospel Train Evangelie and as a former Pretori (few days) visitor, God forbid, resident, not gesluip in The-being-funny-elitist-ways-of-train-dependent-Capetonians.

I mean, we can do a demonic eviction right here, right? In a packed, 3rd class (it's a whole 0.90c cheaper than 1st class. I understand now why Africans hate us. Whites. ) carriage; Sacremental Drinky Drink "Converted" Supermarket Trolleys toll the Ecclesiastical Cannons of the Roman Catholic Order - the Coke's can opening stub, like a prayer Rosary or a Countenance Pendant of Saint Christopher, the patron saint of travel and protection and the Archangel MiKyle, the halo, aurelio, prodigies, mystics, psychics, THEE-MONSTERTH!, lagoons, rescued slaves, after their martyrdom was rejected by the High Seas and the Makhosiesa (the Ghost Whale, the Blue, the Southern Right,

🔪2K!ll@7🔪 and the Chieftain of the Sea - the SwordFishes. Es.

The bewildered Sea Animals, the Congregants of the Most Hated Institution in Cape Town cultural taboos and don'ts; the impromptu, unwelcome, loud, attention-to-self grabbing pastoral pastures (you'll see) of 3rd Class Metro rail, the most anger-inducing, torturous, inner-groan type unwelcome experience ever. And we're talking about a church-going, God-fearing, morally fibrous community type. Who fucking hate, I mean HATE, MetroChurch. Grudgingly dubbed.

'Vi' hoekom moet hulle elke kee' vi ons ko terrorize?'

Trying to decide to take this train, upon hearing "...die evagelie.."

'Ag jirre, nie die kak alwee nie!'

'My broe, elke oggen is die doominee jitz vi' my, ampe' soo hy soek n vrou, die nwata.... Dan Wil hy elke kee' vi' my ko' accuse, ek het die sonde die naweek gedala en ek het hie' nou wee' kort gekom en ek moet belei, ek moet belei... '

Os het belei. Os het afgeklim. 😄

'Ek gat hom in sy poes in slat as hy eendag by Mennaburk stasie moet afklim. Ek laita vi' hom hospital toe, dakan ek n biechie vi' hom staan en preek heel dag en nag. Hy bly op die trein, op die route, in die kerritch, is hy mal?'

'Die hon' het seke' nie vrou, daais vi' hoekom en waarom... Annes het hy eide sy vrou se lyf gat dop hou, of sy baas se vrou, ons broeskap, Jeezy the Creezy, sien djy? Haha! Hy's mos n bit of a jas naai then, actually. Sy baas se vrou! JAS! Daais mos os, sienniemanou? Hehe, hy wil he, se hy, hy wil alles he.... '

'Neh.. Daas niks van allies hie ko soeki. Wat? Lyk Ek tjeap? Ek wil n Benediction he, ek soek gou Angels on my left and on my right...'

Angels on my left. And on my right.

'Godt. Djy weetdan. Ek? Ek is n fokken kulit, sienie man nou hoe? Ek vreetie n ande' frustrated outjie, se poging tot dames bowl, oppie trein en veda al sy kak en moods opvreet. Rerig. Ek is nou dik al.'

'Yoh. Djy klink nou soos die mochi, daa by die huis. Hoe laat kannit nou wees?'

'Wan' ek gat nog kamadela vi' n poging tot moot oppie 0925. (0925?). The Takings of PelaHom 1-2-shotgun. Snotgun!? Hehe... Hoo' gou hie .. Snotgun...hehe...kak snaaks. Snotgun.'

'Ek wil mossie oppie phone sit en n bloue kyk of n girlie byel en die varkie maak sy rounds met die keys. En dan is net SKANDAAL oppie trein, my broe. Ek jintu al heel naweek en ek naai seke mans en los kinnes. En djy? Meneer? Djy skinne en skyel nes n vrou. Hoe gaadaai nou lyk? Netou dinkie gurlie Ek is n bunny en dies MY gurty wat soo raas. Wat vi' my soo skyel? Dan is Ek innie kak meddie kek, die gurlie, die jirre, wie will ook he? Daa' is, ladies, come to da bek for pray.'

'Vi' pre, nie pray. Djy klink asof djy n dwankie is watti ingils kan prati...'

Pre, at da bek.

'Ampe' soo, hulle ko' soek vi' Mennabuk se mense op. Hulle weet. Ons is KAK mosig met ons bek... Ons gooi vi' jou met n sak KAK van hie die trein af. Ja, die doominee get mos gese, hy weet van os, ons moet belei, ons moet belei...'

'My chips, my nips, my panty and my klips. my sips, my kryps, my uithou en nou my niks...' My priorities.

DRINKIE DRINK!? DRINKY DRINK!?

'Uh, Doomineer, hies n Coke vi' jou..., nuh, moenie se Ek gee jou nooit niksi. Net vi' 2 jaa' geraas maak. Godt. Bid vi' ons sondenaas, nuh? Wat ek try se is : we appreciate! Nuh? Got you, my broe, but you preaching to the Converted and the Embraced, so, maybe next time, skarrebol, nuh? '

How quickly one can empty a third class carriage, in rush hour traffic

'Baai, my man, ons sien vi' jou wee vanaan. '

'Ek gat jou vrou se van hiedie kak..'

'Yoh! Djy'sou n kwaai vrou gemaakit. Ennie tjipz? Dj't nogal nooit vimy n dringy dring gekoopi...'

'Gaan, man. Klim djy nou ook op my nuhves? Die drink gat vi hom gelukkig maak. Hy gat chaisana aai' beleierigr pessinjuh wadhy soo skyel-skyel kosoek. Vandag nog. Ons gat hommie wee' vaanaan sieni....Djy gaanet djek... Eens more oggen wee'..'

Even Metro security were DIK already.

To be continued...

MetroMail Uygulaması Windows Phone İçin Güncellendi

Windows 8.1 ve Windows Phone kullanıcılarının normal sisteme gömülü olarak gelen Gmail uygulaması yani IMAP uygulamasının yerine kullandıkları farklı bir IMAP bağlantı seçeneğiyle bağlantı kuran ancak daha görsel anlamda iyileştirilmiş ve daha fazla geliştirici seçeneğine sahip olan MetroMail uygulaması bugün hem Windows 8.1 hem Windows Phone işletim sistemi için 3.0 sürümüne güncellendi.

Uygulam…