#metashipping

Who made the first move; Beta

Who said ‘I love you’ first; It could be either of them. OR it could be both of them at exact same moment. Weirds are weird.

How often they fight; When Melek gets too zealous about Guild system.

Whose big spoon/little spoon; Depends on their mood

What their nicknames are for each other; "Beta" and "Melek" instead of their full "Beta-Melek, Proto-Paragona" and "Melek, Izzet Paragon"

Whose the better cook; Neither

Their song; Gypsy Unit - Sorry Mr Policeman

Who remembers their anniversaries; Either neither or both, there is no between.

Their favorite thing to do together (besides sex); Learning and experimenting, also casual showing off.

Who ‘wears the pants’ in the relationship; BOTH

How they would get engaged; Out of the blue.

What their wedding would be like; BIG and LOUD

normal people are like "wow english teacher why you have to see symbolism in everything maybe a shoe is just a shoe" but the fandom blogger has been there.  She can read a novel in the look in a character's eyes and extrapolate a backstory from an artfully messy workbench.  "I understand.  Maybe I don't know how the shoes represent his immortal soul but you are the one who's been reading this book over and over for sixteen years oh my god how does it feel to go 450 years without any new material I can't even imagine it must be TERRIBLE.  like my fandoms have their hiatuses there are just so many feels it is a horrible sight to behold"

"--but this boat metaphor is even MORE apparent in the movie, see, because between each scene-" "OH MY GOD ROSENSTERN IS SO ADORABLE AND TRAGIC TAKE ALL MY FEELS THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFIC EVER WRITTEN ALMOST!!!!!!!!"